#I'm still in mourning over the loki finale and I had to make something to make myself feel a little better

[hansoeii]

let time pass.

[talesofesther]

make it taste like love

Loki x Reader

Summary: You felt him before you even met him. And despite the pain he carried around, his soul was one of the most beautiful you'd ever seen.

A/N: A spur-of-the-moment idea that I simply couldn't ignore. I really hope you guys enjoy it, and yes I'm working on part two of my series with Loki as well. <3

Word count: 6k

Masterlist

The battle had left its mark on everyone, both physically and mentally. All the lives that were lost wouldn't be brought back. But everyone took solace in the fact that Thanos and his army were no longer a threat. And now, it was a time for rebuilding.

Wakanda's grassland was a battlefield. Bodies of both friend and foe lay scattered on the ground. The mourning loomed heavy in the air, you could feel it weighing down on your chest, your throat, and lungs. It was suffocating, prickling into your skin like needles. Yet you still walked, your boots crushing the grass underneath while you avoided stepping on stretched arms and legs, you needed to make sure no one else remained left behind.

A few feet away, the mad titan who once threatened the entire universe lay lifeless on the ground, his head disconnected from his body. For him, you felt no pity.

King T'Challa was both happy and sad to see you and the others leave. Happy, because it meant the end of a war; sad, because of having to say farewell to dear friends. But you, Steve, Natasha, and Banner were needed back in town, back at the Avengers compound; to welcome Tony back on earth, and because Thanos' attack had reverberated in many other places. It seemed like the Avengers were back in the game.

─── ·❆· ───

This morning was a gloomy one. Grey skies peeked behind your curtains in the early hours of the day, maybe it would rain soon. It's been two weeks since the battle, and you were glad to see that most people were recovering; each in their own way, but recovering nonetheless.

You were already up when the clock hit 7:30 AM, holding a warm cup of coffee between your hands, and staring out into the compound's driveway and past the treeline through the big windows of the kitchen. Today would be the day that Thor came back, he'd been helping with the settling of his people in New Asgard until now, but you've heard about him not wanting to be king anymore. You were happy for him, you never did think that a ruler's life suited him anyway—and you missed your friend.

"He gets one chance, Rogers. One chance and that's it." Tony's voice suddenly caught your attention as he stepped into the kitchen, you turned your back to the window so you could watch as your resident Iron Man poured himself a cup of coffee without looking at his mug. Steve was right beside him, his hands on his hips as he sighed quietly, already all too used to Tony's moods.

"Yes, one chance, he proved himself enough by helping us fight against Thanos, I suppose we owe him the benefit of the doubt," Steve agreed, still holding his voice calm.

With a smirk on your lips, you approached your teammates. "What's going on, guys?" You leaned on the kitchen island, taking a sip of your coffee.

Tony ran his tongue over his bottom lip, his expression less than pleased as he took a sip of his own coffee before saying; "point break is bringing his beloved brother to our home." He shrugged, and said in a quieter tone, "Says he changed or something."

"Loki will be staying with us?" You raised an eyebrow. The attack on New York happened before you joined the team, but you were familiar enough with it to be wary of Thor's brother, even if Thor did speak more nicely of him recently. Still, you had never actually met Loki to form your own opinion.

"That's… to be decided," Tony grumbled, shooting a glance toward Steve. "But yes, pretty much. And, by the way, Strange wasn't happy about having reindeer games back in the city either."

"Wow, you guys finally agree on something," you snickered.

Tony mouthed a 'don't' to you, before Steve said; "Strange knows we'll handle it if anything happens, but Thor vouches for him, so…"

You gave Steve a soft smile, and as much as you understood Tony's wariness, you agreed with the Captain. Loki didn't have the best of pasts with the City, but his help in the recent battle was one of many game-changers. He deserved a second chance.

Strangely enough, you found yourself excited to meet the God of Mischief. It was in your nature to analyze people, watch them from afar, and learn about the things they'd rather not say out loud. And someone like Loki, who had both once tried to take over your planet and now helped in saving it, was bound to raise some curiosity.

No more than an hour passed before you heard Thor's strong voice all the way from the living room. A small smile instantly came to your lips as you discarded your book, got up from the couch, and put on your slippers, rushing to the main doors to greet him.

Before you could turn the last corner, however, you came to an abrupt halt. Your breath got caught up in your throat and you had to lean back on the wall for support. Clutching the fabric of your shirt right above your heart, you were glad that this particular hallway was currently empty.

You could hear Thor's voice just around the corner, Tony was there too, but their words were faint and far away. Your vision was suddenly a little blurry, and underneath your palm you could feel your heart beating frantically.

See, this was nothing that hadn't happened before, after all, you are an empath. But a feeling this heavy rarely comes unannounced, unwanted. It briefly reminded you of when you first discovered your power, when you had no control and could pick up on pain, anger, joy, and pleasure that were not your own even if you didn't want to. Yet now, after years of living with it, you had learned to dose your perception of the feelings around you; now, when you weren't willingly focusing, other people's emotions felt more like a gentle whisper, a gush of chilly wind on your skin—something you were able to ignore if you wanted to.

But this overwhelming sadness; this emptiness, and loss, and pain; it came to you with such force that you were not able to block out. Seconds felt like hours, until the surprise of the new feeling passed and you took back control. Whispers of it remained, lurking in your stomach and in the back of your throat, but with a bit of extra focus, you were able to handle it.

And once your mind was finally clear again, it hit you. Who did you catch these feelings from?

You took a step around the corner cautiously, hands buried in your pockets as your eyes roamed your surroundings. There was no one around besides Tony, Thor, and Loki.

You knew it right away. You were familiar with the emotions radiating from Tony and Thor; but him, the raven-haired trickster, he was new, and if you didn't feel empathy for him before, you did now.

Loki held himself immaculately, a straight posture and a serene expression on his face. You had no idea how he did it, how he was able to hold all of those feelings in and still look so well put together; because one glance into his soul and you already felt like crying.

There was a light drizzle falling outside, maybe that's why Loki's black blazer seemed to be shining under the bright lights of the entrance hall. His eyes—bright and ocean-green—were settled on you; the realization got you feeling hyperaware of each movement you made. Even his gaze was heavy.

Thor's booming voice calling your name captured your attention then, he had a big smile on his face and before you knew it he already had your feet off the floor as he held you in a hug.

You laughed against his shoulder, hugging him back just as tight and telling him all about how much you missed him. Still, when you let go, your eyes found Loki's again, he hadn't stopped looking at you once.

─── ·❆· ───

The opinions about Loki's presence in the compound were mixed, but most of your teammates seemed fine with it; truth be told, no one paid much attention to him. As you'd expected, Loki's room was on your floor, because that's where Thor stayed too; as well as Tony, Natasha, and Yelena.

It's been a few days since his arrival, yet you haven't had the opportunity to properly speak with him, alone. But you've been feeling him a lot. Whether it was you subconsciously focusing on him more, or something else, it seemed like your body was more in tune and connected with his than you've ever been with anyone else. You picked up on a few of his emotions even if you weren't actively trying to; you felt his bouts of uneasiness when someone would stare at him for too long, you felt his gentle serenity whenever he'd sit near the windows to read a book, you felt his sparks of joy when people greeted him with a good morning or asked if he'd want coffee; but most of all, you still felt that lingering sadness that followed him everywhere he went, a weight he seemed to be all too used to having around.

In some ways, you felt as if you were invading his privacy, and that bothered you. During the day you tried to keep your mind as busy as you could to keep yourself from feeling him; in the late hours of the night though, when you were trying to sleep, there wasn't much you could do.

You have been tossing and turning in bed for probably about two hours now, drifting in and out of sleep. The crescent moon just outside your window seemed to be taunting you, amused with your misfortune. You scoffed as you glared at the natural satellite—great, now you were arguing with the cosmos.

Loki was having a nightmare. You could tell by the rapid beating of his heart and the cold sweat running down his forehead—your abilities went way beyond simply feeling other people's emotions, but sometimes you wished they wouldn't. It's not the first time that you've felt Loki's restless sleep in the short time he's been here. Your heart ached for him; it got you wanting to alleviate his pain.

But you couldn't do that, so you got up from your bed, put on your fluffy slippers, and made a beeline for the kitchen. The air outside was chilly, biting at your warm skin and making you shiver. At this hour of the night, the compound was completely dark and quiet, a big contrast to how it was when the sun was up. You asked Friday to turn on one of the lights in the kitchen, giving the space a dim-lit look as the single light bled into the adjacent living room.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, humming the lyrics of the song stuck in your head as you reached for the upper cabinet to grab a mug so you could make yourself some tea. When you turned around again though, a gasp escaped your mouth and you nearly dropped the mug you were holding. You cursed quietly under your breath, placing a hand over your heart; if you weren't fully awake before, you sure were now. "You scared me," you muttered, trying a small smile.

The reason for your lack of sleep stood before you, with dark green slippers that matched his button-up pajama shirt, and his hair the messier you've ever seen it be. "Sorry, it was not my intention," Loki smirked back at you.

It hit you that this was finally the first time you were alone with him, and you'd been caught off guard. You tapped your mug, opening your lips but no words came out. Loki's eyes remained on you, unwavering, yet his gaze was so… soft, gentle even; his eyebrows weren't creased and he patiently waited for you with his hands in the pockets of his checkered pajama pants. He didn't look like the god you usually saw roaming the halls during the day.

"It's alright. I was just making tea," you said finally, gesturing to your mug, "would you like me to make one for you too?"

Loki's surprise at your offer was so great that you felt it in your bones. What was he expecting you to do?

His lips parted only slightly and he straightened his posture before saying; "I would- yes, I would like that."

You couldn't help the full smile that came to your lips and crinkled the side of your eyes, "great, sit down, it'll be ready in just a moment."

The warm mug between your hands warmed up your skin. It felt nice, sitting like this with Loki; in a quiet kitchen with only you and him, and just the lonely light to your left softly highlighting his features in front of you. It was a peaceful silence, and you couldn't help but check if he felt it too.

The rhythm of his heart was calm, his soul felt light and at ease; not completely, but the most you've ever felt from him.

"Why are you here?" His sultry voice snapped you back to reality.

"Uh- I'm sorry?" You frowned.

"Why are you here, if I may ask?" Loki tilted his head amusedly, his fingers tracing the brim of his mug. "Thor mentioned you had… abilities, but he never specified what they are."

Now it was your turn to be surprised by his curiosity for you. "Well, to put it simply, I'm an empath," you told him.

Loki blinked, once, twice, at your response. He looked at you for a moment before inquiring further; "and to put it completely?"

You smirked then, folding your arms over the table. "I can feel people's emotions, if I want to; their anger, happiness, hesitation, fear. But I can also feel their heartbeats, the blood cursing through their bodies. I can tell when they're lying or telling the truth, if they're tired or hurt. And sometimes, I can influence those emotions," you paused, hesitating for a beat, "bring fear, or… take away pain."

Loki grew tense after learning of what you could do. To be fair, most people did at first, you were used to it. Be he felt different, his heartbeat sped up and stayed that way. He'd put his guard up, and it brought a pang of hurt to your chest.

"Are you always feeling everything then?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Gods, no," you breathed, "at first I did, and it was awful. But with time, I learned to control it." You tried smiling at him, but his eyes were downcast, focused on his mug.

You bit your lower lip in nervousness. Looking past Loki and out the window, you could see the first signs of the sunrise peeking over the horizon, dark skies turning a soft lilac and blue; you'd been here longer than you realized.

When Loki glanced up at you again, his bright eyes still held sparks of that same softness from earlier. He pursed his lips in a smile; "thank you for the tea." And with that, he got up and left, leaving you in the company of the first birds who always sang in the mornings.

─── ·❆· ───

You made Loki nervous. It wasn't a bad kind of nervous, it was the kind that sped up his heart and made his cold hands feel clammy.

Out of everyone in the compound, you were the kindest. You'd always shoot him a smile whenever you'd pass by each other in the hallways; you'd always save a seat for him at the table; you always respected his silence whenever you came into the library and caught him reading his book, saying a quiet hello and nothing more, just sitting on one of the armchairs with your own book and allowing him to enjoy his moment, and more recently, your presence too.

When he'd finally learned of your abilities, he got apprehensive, worried even; that you'd pick up on whatever it was that he felt when he was near you, and it would drive you away.

So far, it hasn't happened yet.

The sun was out today, and with it, so was everyone else. In the spacious backyard of the compound, Steve was in charge of the barbecue, and Tony was in charge of the drinks. Natasha had sunglasses covering her eyes while she and Clint bickered over a game of cards; Yelena was sitting beside her sister at the lunch table, however, she seemed to be on Clint's side of the argument. Thor and Banner were laughing together as they made fun of Steve's cooking skills, who tried to defend himself by saying he wasn't actually done yet. Tony looked like he was trying to convince Bucky to drink a dubious-looking beverage, the latter didn't seem too keen on it.

And Loki watched them from afar, from the living room window of his floor. Thor had asked that he join them downstairs, saying something about how he should start trying to fit in and mingle, instead of just existing in the others' presence. Making friends wasn't Loki's forte; as much as he'd fight not to admit it, he was still working up the courage.

With a long sigh, Loki turned around and made his way to the place where he'd been spending most of his free time.

The compound's library was quite huge. One of the few rooms in the whole facility that had warm colors painting the walls and lacked the modern look; tall wooden shelves held thousands of books, a soft beige carpet covered the floor, and there were armchairs and sofas scattered in corners and in-between shelves creating comfortable, isolated nooks for reading. Loki's favorite spot was a worn armchair that stood near one of the big windows, it was surrounded by books that most people didn't read anymore, and the window itself overlooked the treeline in which the sun hid behind at the end of every day; sometimes as he sat there to read, it reminded him of his room back in Asgard.

Loki walked brushing his fingers over the spine of the old books, watching as dust particles danced in the sunlight. But as he rounded the shelf that led to his spot, he abruptly stopped in his tracks, feet glued to the carpet.

You sat cross-legged on the worn armchair, with a thick book lying in your lap that held all of your attention; the sun was shining right behind you, creating a halo above your head and bathing the strands of your hair in golden. You looked like something out of his favorite tale, more enchanting than all of the Midgard poetry books he's ever read.

It seemed like you two were making a habit of bumping into each other unexpectedly.

Loki gulped, squaring his shoulders. A beat passed, and then two, until you finally noticed him from the corner of your eyes. You looked up at him with your eyebrows softly raised in surprise, a gentle smile lifted the sides of your mouth; "Loki, hi."

"Hello," Loki greeted you slowly, his eyes shifting from the book in your lap to your eyes, "shouldn't you be out with the others, enjoying the sun?"

"Should I?" You narrowed your eyes, lazily closing your book and getting up from the armchair. "Shouldn't you?" You asked then, smirking as you raised an eyebrow and took a step towards him.

Loki's heart stumbled inside his chest, he breathed out a laugh. "I'm not big on hangouts."

You hummed, burying your hands in the pockets of your jeans. "Why is that?"

For a moment, Loki dwelled on whether to be honest or come up with an easy lie. But you were looking up at him with such delicacy, such attention, not a trace of hatred or judgment in your warm eyes. It almost looked as if you cared... about him.

Loki breathed in sharply through his nose, the words rolled off his tongue on their own; "I doubt many of your friends would enjoy my presence there."

You blinked up at him, lips parting before you told him quietly; "I would."

There was a distant burning behind Loki's eyes, his mouth felt dry. No one had ever rendered him completely speechless before, yet now, you had done just that. With his silence, you avoided his eyes and ran your tongue over your bottom lip in a motion that he couldn't help but follow.

"And..." You continued, voice sweet as honey, traveling between the bookshelves in the secluded library, "We'll never know if we don't try, right?"

The way you referred to you and him as 'we' got a foreign feeling blossoming inside Loki's chest, all warm and tingly. When you offered him your hand, so you could guide him downstairs to meet the others, he took it.

─── ·❆· ───

After a full week of taking care of the whole city, Saturday nights were a time for having fun and relaxing; aka movie nights with the team. Everyone sat together in the main living room of the compound, Tony had labeled it 'mandatory bonding day'. The room itself was pretty spacious, dimly lit, with two big comfortable couches and a TV that almost covered the whole wall, and a small kitchen right beside it for easy snacks and drinks.

"Right, I'm thinking... Terminator." Tony suggested as he came from the kitchen with an extra large bowl of popcorn in his arms.

"We saw that one already," Steve complained as he fumbled with the remote.

"There are multiple ones," Tony said, smugly, as he plopped himself on the couch and threw popcorn in his mouth.

Thor, who sat beside you, suddenly perked up with a giddy smile on his face; "oh I've always enjoyed that one who has the girl with the long, magic hair." The god gestured to his own hair.

Tony gaped at him, his fingers holding the popcorn were frozen midair. "Tangled?" He exclaimed then, eyebrows raised, "You wanna watch Tangled? in my house?"

You fought to hide a smile. "Technically it's our house," you quipped, after all, you were to blame for Thor's love for the Disney movie.

"Why don't we just watch both? The night is still young," Yelena finally suggested from her spot by the corner of the couch.

As they continued bickering, your eyes finally caught sight of the one you'd been waiting for.

Loki walked into the living room quietly, his socked feet barely making any noise on the expensive flooring. His gaze found yours before he saw anything else in the room, and a gentle, shy smile appeared on his lips.

You'd grown very close, very fast. Loki had started seeking your presence more and more each passing day; during the mornings he'd wait for you with an extra cup of coffee in hand, during the missions it was already routine that you two were a pair, and during the night you never parted ways without him planting a kiss on your forehead first.

Never in your life had you met someone quite like him, who carried such a bruised heart and still managed to be so loving. It made you wonder if anyone had ever bothered to see how beautiful his soul was, for you had fallen in love with it before you even touched his skin.

You gently patted the vacant seat on your left side, lifting the thin blanket covering your legs so Loki could sit down, and once he did you draped part of it over his legs as well.

"What's today's punishment?" Loki smirked, making himself comfortable beside you. His shoulder flush with yours.

"Stop it, movie nights are nice. I know you secretly enjoy them too," you chuckled, bumping his knee with yours. His proximity raised goosebumps all over your skin, and if you weren't so focused on your own feelings, you would've felt how much Loki's heart was racing as well.

"I only come to these because you do too," Loki mumbled, his eyes focused on the TV and a frown appearing on his eyebrows as the first scenes from Tangled played on the screen.

Your breath caught on your throat. He had said it so casually, so easily. You wondered if he had even realized the weight of his own words. "Right," you whispered, a little breathless.

It didn't take long for the only light in the room to be the one coming from the TV. When Tangled hit the 45-minute mark, Tony was already snoring and Thor had finished two bowls of popcorn. You, however, were wide awake and fully aware of Loki's arm resting on the back of the couch. What a cliche move, you thought to yourself, your cheeks burning hot and biting back a smile.

Loki's face as he watched the movie was nothing short of comical, one would think he was watching a period drama; his lips hovering ever so slightly before he'd scoff at a musical scene, his eyes softening as the romance between Rapunzel and Flynn blossomed, the way he mindlessly played with the ends of your hair. You watched him more than you watched the movie, and you didn't miss the way he froze and gulped when you finally rested your head on his shoulder.

─── ·❆· ───

The day had started out fine; a cold yet sunny morning, your fingers brushing Loki's when he handed you your cup of coffee, no eminent trouble in the city, everything was normal and fine; until it took a turn for the worse.

You didn't hear the fight, you didn't know exactly what caused it, but you felt it immediately. Anger, hurt, and pain were suddenly heavy in the air even through the closed door of your bedroom. As soon as a shiver ran up and down your spine you got up and all but ran outside to chase the somber feeling.

The elevator doors of your floor weren't even fully open yet when Loki busted his way through them, Thor hot on his heels.

"I knew it was a mistake coming here," Loki snapped, his steps fast as he put as much distance between himself and Thor as he could, nearly running straight into you in the process.

"You know what, brother," Thor began, he had stopped walking, standing in the middle of the living room, "Maybe it really was a mistake to bring you here, you don't care about anyone but yourself, it's almost as if you enjoy hurting people, you can't help it. It'll always be like this, that's why you're better off on your own." Thor wasn't shouting, but his words rang loudly in the room; his chest heaving when he stopped speaking.

You had held your breath the entire time, gripping the back of a kitchen stool until your knuckles turned white. Thor was angry, you could feel it even without being near him, but he didn't mean what he had said, not entirely. Thor's emotions were a passing wind on your skin though, for who you really felt, stood just a few feet behind you.

Loki had his back turned to his brother when he spoke, and he didn't turn around after. Even without looking at him, you could feel the way he trembled, unsteady hands closed into tight fists to mask his hurt; he gulped back a sob, and kept on walking to his bedroom without a word.

You could choke with the amount of pain radiating off of Loki; heavy, sickening, all-encompassing pain that you felt so vividly in your skin and bones. You only shot Thor an angry glance and muttered; "Damnit Thor," before turning around hastily. You thought you heard Thor calling after you, but you decided to ignore him, your priorities already set.

You ran after Loki, catching up just before his door slammed shut. Taking a deep breath, you walked into his bedroom and softly closed the door behind you with a click.

You'd never actually been in Loki's room before, so you took a single moment to glance around. The room itself was a little bare, with only the necessities such as a double bed, a dresser, a desk, a small bookshelf, and the door that led to his bathroom. You made a mental note to gift him something to liven up his space; maybe a plant.

Loki had his back turned to you still, both his hands resting on his waist as his head hung low. But you knew he knew it was you there with him, by the simple fact that he was allowing you to stay.

The silence was a heavy one, packed with the electricity of two souls tightly holding onto each other. Loki was trying so hard to keep all his pain in control, his shoulders shaking with each breath he took; but you could feel it as if it was your own.

"Loki," you said his name in nothing but breath, testing the waters. You took half a step toward him as you fidgeted with your hands.

He didn't answer. You weren't expecting him to.

You pursed your lips before saying; "he didn't mean it," your voice was choked and took effort to come out, the back of your eyes already burning, "what Thor said. He- he didn't mean it."

A few beats passed, and then; "doesn't matter if he did." Loki's words cracked in the middle, it was the most broken you'd ever heard him sound. "He's right."

"He's not," you told him in the same heartbeat, not a tint of hesitation in your tone.

Loki turned around, his gaze finally finding yours and there were tears pooling at the bottom lid of his bright eyes. "Yes, he is," he took a single big step toward you, nearly closing the distance between you and him. Loki's lips trembled as he struggled to keep talking; "and why is it that you care? What's in it for you?"

He was hurt, and he was frustrated, and he was angry; you knew that. Still, you couldn't help but be taken aback by his question. What could he even mean by that? Did he really believe that all this time that you'd been dancing around each other's feelings, it wasn't real?

"Loki, I-" you stuttered, not knowing how to say it without baring your heart in the process. Your hesitation got Loki avoiding his eyes from yours, and you forced yourself to go on. "There's nothing 'in it for me' I just... care about you."

Still waiting for the other shoe to drop, Loki softly shook his head, scoffing. His tears were a blink away from spilling, he felt as if barbed wire was wrapped around his throat, and his heart threatened to jump from his chest and straight into your hands.

It scared him. How easily you could make his walls crumble like paper in the rain. He flinched slightly when he felt the ghost of your touch on his cheek, blinking multiple times when your thumb brushed away a single tear rolling down his cheek. You touched him as if he were porcelain, and yet it still broke him.

"Is it that hard to believe that you're important to me?" You asked then, voice nothing but a whisper in the short space separating your bodies. With your hand still holding his cheek, you forced his eyes back on yours. "You have a good heart, Loki. I just wish you could see it the way I do. I wish everyone could see it."

The crooked smile he gave you nearly made your own tears fall. "You don't know what you're talking about, you don't know what I've done," he told you quietly, more than anything, he sounded utterly defeated.

"But I do know," your free hand found one of his then, and you tangled your fingers together loosely, "I might not have been with the Avengers when you attacked New York, but I was still in New York. And I still mean it, you could tell me every single bad thing you've ever done and I'd still tell you how good you are, because I see it. Every single day, Loki. I feel you every single day, and I can feel all this-" Your words caught in your throat and you tasted your tears on your lips. "-All this pain that you carry around and you still choose to be good."

Too many emotions swam behind his eyes for you to put a finger in any of them. But tears were running freely down Loki's cheeks now, pooling against your hand resting on his cheek.

"What did you-" he tried, gasping for air as if he was underwater. This was foreign territory. You had a place in his heart no one else could ever have, he realized, and his heart was beating faster than his mind knew what to do with. "You've been prying into my emotions without me knowing?" He sounded more desperate than annoyed.

"I didn't want to," You explained quickly, "I- I never meant to, but for some reason, I can't block you out." Shrugging weakly, you slowly dropped the hand resting on his cheek, missing the way he glanced down in search of your warmth. "I tried. I really tried."

There was a vulnerability in Loki's eyes you'd never seen before. He looked at you as if he'd just realized what love is. You wondered if you mimicked the same gaze—you sure felt it.

Loki shuffled in his stance. His hand, still holding onto yours, tightened its grip. "I'm-" He avoided your eyes, looking somewhere past your shoulder, "I'm sorry you had to feel all that."

You softened at his words, shaking your head and taking another step forward until your sneakers bumped his shoes. "Wasn't your fault," you whispered.

Loki gulped back a sob after you spoke, and that was the last straw for you to let go of his hand and pull his body to yours in an embrace.

He melted into you.

Loki's fingers dug into the fabric of your shirt and he buried his head against your shoulder—you soon felt it becoming damp, yet you only hugged him tighter. With the desperation he was holding you with, you wondered when was the last time someone had held him.

The soft sobs escaping him were muffled against you. And you couldn't help but stroke his back, the tips of your fingers burying into his very soul. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of this alone." You spoke near his ear, feeling the goosebumps that raised on his skin. "You never deserved it," you promised.

You weren't sure how much time passed, you stayed there for as long as Loki needed you to. When he eventually pulled away, he didn't go far, his hands kept holding your body close to him as if he was afraid you'd leave if he let go.

His bright eyes didn't hold a storm anymore, they were more like a calm sea. A soft frown etched itself into his eyebrows, "did you… take away my pain?"

You chuckled quietly, "No, I can't take away people's emotions." You lifted a hand until your fingertips could brush the skin on his forehead, "But I can make them lighter." You traced an invisible line over his eyebrow and until you reached his cheekbone, "Make the weight just a little bit easier to carry."

Loki leaned into your touch, almost closing his eyes. His hands that rested on your back traced your spine and pulled you closer. "Darling, you've been making it easier ever since the first day I met you."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

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[gloriousburden]

Hey!! I just wanna say your takes on Loki are super refreshing to read, and they cleared up my mind a little! Maybe this sounds a little stupid but I got so confused after rewatching everything (+ watching the series and I feel like that was the breaking point xd) and since I didn't read anything nor any opinions I was. Just lost in these jambled thoughts because I couldn't figure out Loki's character well since he just feels so... so different after Avengers/TDW and I really couldn't tell wtf was going on with him for a while until I sat down and deconstructed everything since it was so bad?? Maybe it's just me and I'm slow but I seriously never had that experience with a character I fixated before and I can't tell if it was because how badly Loki was handled by his writers or it's just me being scatterbrained or both 😭

Anyway thanks again this isn't anything new just wanted to let you know,, your/others takes in your posts are the ones that resonate the most with me and I feel less alone lol when I read some of them on other platforms it's either too much shipping or just... things that don't really make sense to me xd

So yeah, there's no take here, but thanks if you read!! You don't have to answer 🫰

Hello! I am so glad to hear that I could help. I know that feeling all too well, and it’s exactly why I started posting on here. Watching each weekly episode of the series as it was coming out was torture. It was like a punch to the gut every single time that they belittled Loki, mischaracterized him, hinted to the romance with Sylvie, had him consistently forgive the characters who treated him like shit, and took it all in a direction that… had absolutely nothing to do with Loki.

I fell in love with Loki’s character around 5 months before the series came out, and everyday I mourn what the fandom used to be despite the short amount of time I experienced it the way it was. Of course there was mischaracterization, but never was it as widespread as this.

In all honesty, the series turned me off from liking Loki for a hot minute. It disgusted, angered, and saddened me so much. I lost the ability to enjoy watching or interacting with anything related to Loki because I was reminded of it all each time. I remember watching the finale feeling complete fucking shock and a sense of dread. On top of all that bullshit… there’s going to be a season 2?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I took comfort in the shared reaction and negativity Loki TikTok (at the time) had to it lol. What annoyed the shit out of me also was people beginning to ship Lokius/Sylki. You saw what both of those characters did to him, why ship them? the shipping bullshit is the worst. What happened to people liking Loki for JUST BEING LOKI?

I had that same confusion. How could this be Loki at all, but especially Loki after the events of THE AVENGERS?! This couldn’t even be Ragnarok Loki, so how could it be Loki DIRECTLY after/during his most villainous? I just kept thinking to myself.. Loki is intelligent. He is strong. He is more than what they represented him as. And he never deserved any of that. He is playful, of course. But he is not a buffoon who lets others walk all over him. He doesn’t deserve to be the laughingstock in a series that was supposed to uplift him. No other character was “humbled” in their own series like this.

Like you said, you’ve never had this experience with characters you’ve been fixated on before. I felt the same way. I had many favorite characters who were killed off, yet their deaths weren’t as brutal to me as the character assassination Loki was put through. I think I posted something along the lines of that. That all of this has made mourning Loki’s actual death in Infinity War so… weird.

The next months or so, I tried getting back into loving Loki. Which as you can probably tell… it worked. But I was still so disgusted by the series. I would pace around my room thinking of Loki rants in my head, and I’d write them down in my notes app just thinking… ‘well that doesn’t fucking add up.’

What helped was knowing there were others that shared the same feelings that I did.

I began lurking on this side of Tumblr, reading everyone’s posts (and even masterlists) of reasons why the series was so fucking garbage, and how it did absolutely no justice to Loki’s character.

It helped me realize and identify the reasons why the series upset me so much. It also helped me learn more about Loki’s character in general, to which I fell more in love with him. It helped me feel less alone, and I wanted to voice my own opinions as well. I felt so lost, and I really wanted to connect with others who felt the same.

Eventually, I began posting my own rants as well as following a bunch of other OG Loki fans who primarily focused on Loki’s character before the series (as well as before Ragnarok.)

These were people who understood Loki, and loved him as much as I did. I found community, and everyday I am so grateful for everyone here. I was (and still am) heavily fixated on Loki, and the mischaracterization would irk me so fucking badly. The lack of love for Loki for who he is, outside of ships and fanon, hurt me. He means a lot to me even if he is just a fictional character. I see myself in him.

So… long story short, it really means a lot that I could play a part in helping you out with your own confusion and feelings of loneliness through all of this bullshit. It’s the same thing I went through a few years ago. Wanting to help as well as wanting to connect with others who felt lost and hurt like I did, was why I started posting on here. It’s a bit of a full circle moment for me lol.

Other platforms are DREADFUL. I think I’ve said this on here somewhere before, but Pinterest has a lot of OG Loki content, and I find it easier to avoid the series related stuff. I recommend checking it out if you haven’t. Also… I HIGHLY recommend using the google search Before:Year feature helps so much!! It’s pretty fun to see a lot of the first reactions to Loki’s character, as well as the outdated memes 😭😭😭 OG Loki fangirls paved the way!!

It really is a peculiar ass situation. My favorite character has been killed off, an alternate version of him was revived, and it’s all complete misery. What REALLY annoyed me though was people just accepting it.. Like what? Really? This is Loki to you?

Thank you for this, and I’m glad you feel less alone. I hope that you continue to find community within this side of Tumblr. It’s all I ever wanted for anyone who stumbled across my blog. So sorry for the long ass response LOL

[lokiaddict]

Love After Loss

Also Interesting, but I think it's better than 'Valhalla". Also, after June of Doom is over, I am writing a sequel to this, which I'm quite excited about

The nightmares still haunted him, even after all this time. The Statesman under attack. The frightened looks. The mad titan. The fight that led to the loss of even more of his people. The pain. The sickening crunch of his brother’s neck. Then, darkness.

Thor would never forget the events of that horrible day, the day his brother had died, for real, this time. Of course, he still mourned for the loss of the rest of his people, for Heimdall, but Loki’s death hit differently. After the battle of Wakanda, after he had gone for the head, after the remaining survivors of the Statesman and the snap had arrived on earth, after Val had asked where Loki was, after what felt like a lifetime of mourning and grief, after they had completed their time heist, after the final battle on the avengers compound, after Tony’s death, after Gorr kidnapped the children, and after the battle that led to Gorr’s death in eternity, the heavy weight that accompanied grief was still there.

Thor tried to move on, he really did, but no amount of mourning would ever bring back his brother. When Love came along however, some of the weight was lifted. She reminded Thor of Loki, her stubbornness, her attitude, the way her eyes glinted when she had done something mischievous, her smirk, it all reminded him of the brother he lost all those years ago.

—---------------------------------------------------

Thor was deep in thought, reclined on the sofa that was in the living room of the ship that he and Love called home. They were visiting New Asgard and Val for a few days, and while Thor was glad to see the remaining people of Asgard thriving, there was still a part of him that felt empty, that felt lost. That part of him had been lost ever since that blasted ship had shadowed over the Statesman before his Brother met his doom. Dammit Loki, Thor thought, it should have been me, not you. A stray tear made its way down Thor’s cheek, and then another, but he didn’t swipe them away. However, he did wonder why the sudden bout of melancholy had taken over him in such a way. It had been nine years, most people had moved on by now, why couldn’t he?

The click of a door and the sound of small feet padding along the floor roused Thor from his thoughts. 

“Uncle Thor?” A small voice said.

Thor quickly swiped the fallen tears away and sat up to turn and face his favourite little person.

“What’s the matter little one?” He inquired, with a soft smile on his face.

Love shrugged. “Nothing, I just got bored when I was reading so I wanted to make sure you weren’t bored.”

Thor chuckled. While Love was the vessel of Eternity, she was also just a child, and children tend to have very short attention spans when it comes to doing things, even after considering her high intellectual stature. 

“Well then, we mustn't have you getting bored, come over here.” Thor sat up more and leaned against the armrest. Love clambered onto him and together they sat, making up random jokes and conversations. Thor loved when they got to spend this time together, it felt like nothing else mattered. After a while, the conversation had turned into a comfortable silence. Love was playing with Thor’s hair, and Thor was happy sitting there and watching her. 

She was playing with his hair in her usual routine, running it through her fingers, then tracing them over the many scars adorning his scalp, asking about how he got each one of them in which he would regale her with tales of battle and victories, and then inspecting all of his many intricate braids. Thor was used to Love asking about his scars, he enjoyed passing on stories of the many glorious battle souvenirs, but what she did next completely caught him off guard. 

Love ran her fingers over all of his braids except one. One that she once touched and asked about and got no reply from Uncle Thor, but got told by Aunty Val that he didn’t like to talk about it. She also wasn’t allowed to ask him about when he was little, but being a kid herself, she wanted to hear all of Thor’s awesome stories, and she was feeling curious, so, she traced the strand of Black hair that was woven into his blonde ones from where it started down to where it ended. Uncle Thor went still. His eyes were staring at the adjacent wall and looked far away. His breaths were leaving in slow breaths, almost as if he were trying to calm himself. 

Once more curious, Love asked, “Uncle Thor, why do you have black hair in your braid?” 

His breath hitched, and she could see unshed tears in his eye. He blinked, and took his gaze off of the wall to meet hers. He looked at the young, innocent girl staring at him with curious eyes. Maybe this might not be so bad, he thought. She deserves to know.

But Thor couldn’t bring himself to talk about the brother he once had. 

He realised he had started staring off again, so he refocused his gaze and gave the girl another soft smile. 

“Love, for so long I have kept you in the dark in regards to most of my past. You deserve to know everything, but I cannot bring myself to speak about everything I have lost. I want to tell you about everything though, so I will call Aunt Val, I will tell her to bring some ice cream, and we will tell you everything you want to know.”

Love didn’t know why Uncle Thor needed Aunty Val, but she was happy leaving that be for now. 

Thor left Love to sit on the sofa while he went into another room to call Val, returning after a few minutes. About ten minutes later, she turned up at the door with a bag containing a few tubs of ice cream. The two greeted Val, Love noticing the small sympathetic glance she gave to Thor, and together the three made their way into the living room. Val walked over to the kitchen and put the ice cream into the freezer before she returned and pulled the armchair that usually faced a window off to the left and moved it over to where Thor had sat down again, with Love sitting next to him. 

“So,” Val began, “where should we start?”

Thor looked up from where he was studying the rug underneath him quite intensely, and cleared his throat. Love waited.

“Well, Love, uh, you wanted to know about my braid, and norns know you are quite curious about my childhood and past, save the many tales of battle I have already regaled you with, but in those battles, there is one person that I tend to leave out when talking about them, um, that person is the owner of the hair woven into my braid, and the owner of the strands of hair woven into my braid…is, was, …uhm, uh…my…” Thor started to stutter. Tears were starting to form in his eyes again. Val noticed, and placed a reassuring hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Thor gave Val a grateful smile, took a few calming breaths, and talked once more. 

“My brother, the God of Mischief.” He said, and seemed to deflate at the words. Love was listening intently, Uncle Thor has a brother! That was so cool, now Love had another uncle! But wait, he said was, does that mean…

Thor chuckled softly at the many expressions crossing over Love’s face. “You see Love, me and my brother, Loki was his name, were inseparable, the perfect brother duo, best friends. We fought together, played together, and lived in peace and happiness in our home, Asgard. We were the princes of that land, our parents being Odin, the King, and Frigga, the Queen. Everything was well, battles were victorious, because Loki was always there with me. He would use his magic to create illusions to draw the enemies off guard, and then we would fight ceremoniously and gloriously and lead our armies and friends to victory.”

“But, in these times, my friends, known as the warriors three, including Fandral the Dashing, Hogun the great, and Volstagg the adventurous, as well as a brave shieldmaiden named Lady Sif, plus myself, all ignored Loki’s potential and help, passing him off and teasing him to be weak, as he used magic that was thought to be a women’s craft. For years, Loki would be cast off into my shadow, I being known as the favoured prince, leading battles that resulted in victories, and Loki being known as the weakling prince, the one who would rather sit inside and study all day.”

“Loki was always smarter, why, by the age of five hundred, he had read all the books in the palace library and outsmarted every tutor in Asgard’s lands. But I never saw that, I only saw the weakness that I thought was his magic. A while later, after Loki had travelled all across Yggdrasil and studied almost everywhere possible, he was named one of the most powerful sorcerers in all the nine realms, even excelling in certain aspects of the art better than our mother. Then, a few years later, my coronation came. I was to be king of Asgard, as my father was stepping down and since I was older than Loki, the line of succession fell to me.”

“But, the coronation was interrupted, by a break-in in the palace vault, where beings called frost gia- Jotuns, were attempting to steal a relic that once belonged to them, the casket of ancient winters. ”

Thor paused, taking a steadying breath. He studied Love’s face, expecting to see boredom or the like, but all he saw was pure fascination and curiosity. This is why he loved her, she can be such a good listener, and patient as can be. Seeing that Thor might need a moment, Val clapped her hands and stood up. “Well, how about a little intermission to get some ice cream?” she said, and Love whooped. She got up and helped Val carry the three tubs of ice cream over to where Thor still sat and gave one to him. She and Val sat down with their ice cream too and Thor looked at Love’s tub of hulka-hulka burning fudge and chuckled. The girl was obsessed with the flavour, especially after meeting Bruce and proclaiming that he was her best friend now. She was so random, that was another thing Thor loved about her.

He took a few mouthfuls of his Stark raving Hazelnuts and prepared himself for more recounts. 

“So, as I was saying, Jotuns are giant frost people that live on a realm called Jotunheim, I believe you read about them in one of the books Lady Eir gifted you when we last came to visit, Love?” He received a nod from the girl, “yes, well, as I said, they tried to steal a casket that once belonged to them that helped them and their land thrive, but my father took it at the end of the war between the Jotuns and the Aesir, and the Jotuns didn’t like that. So, after all those years, they tried to take it back. A lot of people were confused, as they didn’t know how they got past Heimdall, the gatekeeper. Do you remember the time Haldor gave a tale of him?” 

He garnered another nod from the girl.

“Yes, well, because Heimdall had all seeing eyes, everyone did not know how they managed to sneak past our defences, but in the end, they were eliminated, and my coronation ruined. I got into an argument with my father, and from that, resulted in a quest consisting of me, Loki, Sif, and the Warriors Three to confront Laufey, King of the Jotuns, in Jotunheim. We were breaking the law you see, as Jotunheim is forbidden to travel to, but I needed answers as to how their people got into Asgard. So off we went, transported through the bifrost to Jotunheim, where I interrogated Laufey.”

“But, Loki saw the dangers, so once it looked like I was about to make things worse than they already were, he attempted to stop me, and I, of course, ignored him. Then, a battle broke out, and everything went to chaos. My father came and ended things, and we were then taken back to Asgard where I was banished onto here, on Midgard, where I met Miss Foster. I stayed with them and at that time, in Asgard, Loki had been crowned king as my father had fallen into the Odinsleep.”

“A series of events happened, in which I returned to Asgard with the Warriors Three and Sif to find that Loki had killed King Laufey and was about to go and destroy Jotunheim. I thought him mad. We fought on the bifrost, and I ended up destroying the end of the bridge, as it was what was destroying Jotunheim using the powerful beam. Then, Loki, uh, well, he….”

Thor trailed off again. Even though he knew Loki didn’t die, he still didn’t like to recall those events. Fortunately, he had already told Val this story, so she took over after noticing the distress. 

“After Thor had destroyed the bifrost, he and Loki were left hanging off of the edge. Their father holding Thor by the ankles, Thor holding the spear that Loki was holding on to. Loki was trying to tell Odin that he did it for him, but Odin wouldn’t hear of it because he was a shit father and, uh, so he, um, he let go, and let himself fall into the void of space.”

Thor took a sharp intake of breath, and gave Val a thankful look. He wouldn’t have been able to finish that part. He picked up where she left off.

“So, after that, my Mother and I mourned so much for the loss of Loki. My father was unreadable at that time, but as Val said, he was a shit dad so I paid no mind. The kingdom mostly celebrated, as the loss of the weak excuse for a prince, or that was how they so rudely put it, was gone. But my mother and I never stopped grieving. Later on, my Mother revealed to me that Loki was adopted, and he was a Jotun, Laufey’s son, in fact. I then found out that Odin and Frigga had been lying to him his entire life about it, and I was quite upset about that new information, as we had been taught that Jotuns were vile and terrifying monsters, but of course Loki was the complete opposite.”

“Then, about a year later, I was sent here, as I had been told by Heimdall and Odin that Loki was alive and causing trouble. I was the protector of Midgard at that time so I went to investigate and found a shell of a brother. He was not the brother I had once known, no, he was a twisted, cruel version of Loki. He was looking for the Tesseract, to give to his master who had sent him, the mad titan who’s name we know not to say in this house.”

Love nodded at that statement. Everyone who knew Thor knew that they shouldn’t mention the name Thanos in front of him.

“He brang an army of Chitauri and Leviathans to New York, and we had a battle unlike any other. I fought alongside my original shield brothers and sister, whom you know as the Avengers from old photographs the Lady Pepper brought me. After Loki and his army were defeated, I took him back to Asgard where he was sentenced to life in the dungeons by our Father. Our Mother visited him, but I was so angry with him for what he had done that I only talked to him when I needed his help to escape Asgard without using the Bifrost.”

Love gave him a confused look.

“You see, Miss Foster had been infected with the Reality stone, or as we called it then, the Aether. She was growing very ill so I took her to Asgard where the Dark Elves sensed it and attacked. Our Mother was lost in that battle, and the whole kingdom mourned. But Loki, he had always had a special connection with her, so when he found out she died, he was heartbroken. He didn’t even get to go to her funeral.”

Thor once again stopped and took a few steadying deaths. Love didn’t like this Odin fella she decided, he was mean.

“After my Mothers death, Odin was so stricken with grief that we got into an argument and were forbidden from leaving Asgard, even though he was blind to see that the elves would once again attack soon. So, Loki helped Jane and I get off of Asgard, and we met the Dark Elves on their home planet, Svartalfheim. Then, our plan was in action. Malekith, the leader of the Dark Elves, removed the Aether from Jane, but before he could consume it himself, I destroyed it with my lightning.”

“But, I was wrong. An infinity stone cannot be destroyed by a force so weak as lightning, so Malekith consumed it and left us with a beast that was quite formidable and strong, and the same beast that had killed our mother. In the end, Loki stabbed it through its stomach with a large weapon left behind by one of the elves, but it stabbed him right through the heart in return. Loki had activated the contraption used by the elves to eliminate people by sucking them into a black hole type action,the beast was gone, and Loki had avenged Mother. Loki then died in my arms, his skin turning grey from the poison and his blood leaking onto my hands. 

“I killed Malekith, and I mourned once more for my brother. I returned to Asgard where I was thanked by my father. This was then when I first braided Loki’s hair into my own. I fought another battle with the Avengers, this time fighting a robot that wanted to take over the world. We won, and for the next four years I travelled through the cosmos looking for the Infinity stones, as I had quite a few visions and dreams about them. I didn’t find any, but then I was led back to Asgard where I found out that my brother was alive and posing as Odin and had been for the last four years. We came here, and stood on that cliff out there,” He paused and pointed to the cliff that was viewable from the large window in the living room. 

“And our father revealed to us that we had an older sister, Hela, the goddess of death. A few minutes later, after Odin had passed, Hela emerged from a portal and demanded that me and Loki kneel. I threw Mjolnir at her, but she shattered it.”

“Frightened, Loki summoned the Bifrost, but Hela followed us and threw us out of it. I landed on a planet called Sakaar, where I met Val,” he threw her a quick smile and she returned the favour, “and she took me to meet the Grandmaster. Then, I found Loki, who had become, uh, friends, in a manner of speaking,” He shot Val a look that Love couldn’t quite read, “and then I was made to fight in his game. That is where I met Bruce again, after he went missing during the battle with the robot, and so then I formed a team with Val, Bruce, and Loki, and we called ourselves the Revengers. Bruce, Val, and I escaped Sakaar and made it to Asgard, where Hela had taken over and was trying to find the Bifrost sword to be able to conquer other worlds.”

“We fought, The remaining Asgardians that Hela had not killed yet were ushered onto another ship that was brought at a later time by Loki. In the end, we had to unleash a huge fire demon named Surtur who destroyed Asgard and Hela. Then, the remaining people, plus us Revengers, floated in space for about a day before the Mad Titan attacked our ship. Aunty Val took as many people as she could on the escape pod and left, leaving the rest of the warriors, Hulk, Loki, Heimdall, and myself along with some other fighters and Sedir wielders. Everyone was defeated and killed, except for Heimdall, Hulk, Loki, and me. Heimdall sent Hulk here using the Bifrost sword and was… killed for it. And then, it was just the Titan, his minions, Loki, and Me. He only attacked because he could sense the tesseract, which housed the space stone. I told them we didn’t have it, but Loki had taken it from the vaults during Ragnarok. Loki gave up the tesseract to save me, and….” 

Thor couldn’t go on any longer, he couldn’t put the next part into words. He broke down in tears, sobbing and shaking. He felt two small hands wrap around his form, and realised Love was pulling him in for a hug. Val followed suit, hugging him too. How could they expect him to talk about the time his Brother died for real this time? It was too hard. Making sure his voice wouldn’t crack or waver, he looked up at Val with teary eyes. 

“Val,” He started.

She seemed to already know what he meant, for she straightened up and prepared herself.

“Love, after Loki gave up the Tesseract, he attempted to stab the titan, but we all knew he was too smart to do something like that, and then we realised he was doing it to sacrifice himself as he knew Tha- The Titan, wouldn’t let them both live. So, after he attempted to ‘stab him’, he was stopped with the space stone and then held up by his neck. Uncle Thor couldn’t stop him because he was being held down by some metal from one of his minions. Then, the purple bastard snapped Loki’s neck, which killed him, and then he disappeared alongside his minions in a cloud of blue and then blew up the ship that Thor and Loki were on.”

Thor had started sobbing again. He had pictured every single part of it, and he was now burdened once more with the reminders of that horrible day. Love’s arms had never once let go of him, still keeping him in a tight embrace. While she was only a child, she was also eternity, and she was able to handle things a lot better than other children. Thor grasped onto her arms and returned the embrace, and Val joined in. Together they sat, each in the warm embrace of the other two. 

“I want him back, I want him back, I want him back.” He kept repeating those three words, as if it were some type of mantra.

Thor knew he would always miss Loki. He would always feel the overwhelming loss of him, and for that, he felt terrible. He wanted his brother back, he wanted the happiness that he once felt. Val tightened her embrace, and so did Love. 

“This is heartwarming and all but honestly, it's a bit dramatic don’t you think brother?”

The three released their embraces and looked to the figure with ebony hair that was standing in the doorway. Thor’s heart stopped. Val looked a mix between relief and shock. Love had a proud smile on her face. After all, eternity did come with some benefits.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 41 – FRIENDSHIP

THOR & VALKYRIE

Mourning Is Best Done in Pairs by honeysbhee

Pairing: Thor & Valkyrie Rating: G Words: 1,772 Tags: Grief, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: In which Thor and Brunnhilde recount their losses and mourn together, primarily over Brunnhilde's loss of the valkyries.

Reasons why I love it: This is such a beautiful moment, a friendship rising from the ashes of loss. I love how this fic focuses on Thor's emphatic and kind nature and portrays him as a matured version of himself. And Valkyrie's emotions are so raw, it really makes me feel for her. This fic is amazing, and you should definitely read it!

Midsommar by ThePartyPrince

Pairing: Thor & Valkyrie Rating: T Words: 1,569 Tags: Depression, Alcohol Abuse, Thor Needs a Hug

Summary: Loki had said the sun would shine on them again. Thor is fairly certain three months of daylight is not what he'd meant. Depression and the Midnight Sun.

Reasons why I love it: Holy fuck. I can't even tell you how much this fic affected me. My throat still feels tight as I'm writing this. It's such a raw take on what depression does to you, along with the stress it puts on the people around you, it's so haunting. How ThePartyPrince managed to put this much feeling into so few words eludes me. I really hope you go and check it out so you can experience it for yourself!

Broader Shoulders by gaslightgallows (hearts_blood)

Pairing: Thor & Valkyrie Rating: T Words: 1,417 Tags: Responsibility, Grief, Awkward Conversations

Summary: At first, Valkyrie's excited at the prospect of being queen. But then she stops to think.

Reasons why I love it: The missing scene we all needed! I love how Valkyrie kicks some sense into Thor, someone desperately needed to do it. And her reaction to his emotional outburst is hilarious, god, she's such a badass, I love her so much. I hope you go and check this one out, because it's wonderful!

Responsibilities by Lynxbatics

Pairing: Thor & Valkyrie Rating: G Words: 1,121 Tags: New Asgard, Minor Canon Divergence, Thor: Love & Thunder

Summary: With the final battle against Gorr approaching, Valkyrie wonders wether she should go with Thor.

Reasons why I love it: I'm not the biggest fan of Love & Thunder, but I really like Lynxbatic's take on this scene. It makes Valkyrie's reasoning a lot more... reasonable, for lack of a better word. Definitely check this one out, it's great!

Flight of the Valkyries by scioscribe

Pairing: Thor & Valkyrie Rating: M Words: 1,635 Tags: Wingfic, Amputation, Loyalty

Summary: “I knew the Valkyries were part of our history,” Thor said, “but I’d started to think the chosen were a myth. Just something for the murals because the artists liked painting the wings. But you really were one. Are one.” Val could take a lot of hits without showing it, but that was one too many. She winced and looked away from him. The chilly tiles of this athletic shower were either grouted pink or growing a peculiar kind of mold. “Present tense doesn’t apply,” she said finally. “I’m not chosen anymore. Just scarred. That was quite a process. I bled and bled for days, thought I’d die from it. I wanted to.”

Reasons why I love it: This fic is so beautiful and so sad at the same time. It's that feeling of reopening a wound to finally let it heal. A mix of pain, trust, trauma and healing. And the contrast between Valkyrie's jaded nature and Thor's positive outlook on the world is fantastic. I love it so much, and I bet you will too, so I really hope you go and check it out for yourself!

[learebeccasmultiverse]

Title: I Love You, Always Forever

Pairing: BestFriend!Stephen Strange x OC!Rebecca (Marvel Studios/MCU)

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Rebecca came to the Sanctum to take a break from her annoying colleagues and friends. However what she got there was just another one of her annoying colleagues and friends. But like always, Stephen was handling things a little different and made her feel less under pressure to change some things in her life.

Her love life, to be precise. It's been 2 years since they defeated Thanos for good. Seven years have passed since Loki died. And since that time Rebecca never wanted another relationship. She never recovered from this loss. She was fine with the fact that she probably never fell in love again. But her closest friends, her Avengers, weren't.

And neither was Stephen, her best friend out of all of them. And right now he was yet again trying to change her mind about this.

"You really should start dating again. You cannot sit at home and watch all the couples come and go while mourning what you had. You gotta put yourself out there, find a nice guy and settle down with him!"

Rebecca laughed repellent. If there's one way he certainly wasn't getimg her dating again, then it was telling to do it. Yet he obviously wasn't the only one with the same idea.

"Funny, Clint told me exactly the same three days ago. I really wonder why you're so concerned about my love life!"

Rebecca was running low on patience after being told the same thing over and over again.

"Rebecca, I care about you in every way. You're like a sister to me. I love you and there's nothing in the world that would make me stop being concerned about you. I know that what you and Loki had was something for a lifetime and beyond. Loki-"

"LOKI WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, LIKE YOU SAID! He got taken away from me by Thanos! I CAN'T love anyone the same ever again!"

She finally snapped, tears forming in her eyes. She felt bad for yelling at him after he said all those heartwarming words. Overstrained with this situation, she began to cry, making Stephen feel really bad about scratching open those scars she would probably never fully recover from. He walked closer to her and just held her in his warm arms for a moment so she could sob into his chest. After a moment, he decided to speak again. He didn't know what exactly to say however, so he decided to say what seemed fit for him right now.

"I give you one thing, you didn't end up like Wanda even though the only person that you loved got murdered. That's a good thing."

Rebecca chuckled, looking up at him. Seeing her mood lift slightly made him smile too. Surprised that it actually did help her state, he continued nonetheless, yet cautiously, since she was still very sensitive.

"What's your secret? Meditation?"

Rebecca laughed softly at that and shook her head.

"Why does it always have to be meditation?"

Stephen laughed and shrugged, loosening the grip around her a little so he could properly look her into the eyes.

"I don't know. Just guessing."

Rebecca dried her tears and calmed herself down a bit.

"If you want to know how I managed not to loose my mind like her then I'll be happy to enlighten you. It's a simple question.Would've Loki wanted this? That I turn against my friends and destroy everything and everyone because of my devastating loss and turn into a monster? The question is self explanatory."

Stephen admired her way of thinking and how strong she had been the past 7 years. Loki died, then Nat died, then Tony. And she had to withstand two nerve wracking battles against Thanos. All while she managed to stay herself and not get lost in sheer anger, devastation and vengeance. Without a warning Stephen hugged her tightly again, resting his chin on her left shoulder.

This woman deserved all the love and support in the world.

"Whatever happens, whatever the future holds, you know that I'm always here for you. Wherever I am, is your safe place."

Rebecca nodded and hugged him around his middle, pulling him even closer.

"I know. And I'm endlessly thankful for that. I'm happy that after all of this shit that happened I still have you... It feels so good that after so much change some things stayed the same. But please promise me that you will never tell me that I have to get a boyfriend again. Can you do that?"

"I have to be honest with you, it's gonna be difficult to not approach this matter, but I'll definitely restrain myself more often in future if it bothers you so much."

Rebecca nodded and smiled at him.

"Thank you, Stephen. And I love you too."

[eddies-weirdo]

Not Your Loki (pt4)

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Summary: After what feels like a million years of jumping through timelines, you finally think you found the one with your Loki. Unfortunately the Loki you find isn't yours and has been heartbroken and defeated by another. Do you still help him?

Warning: cursing

“Well if we go here and jump from this point here we’ll -” you flip through pages of the planets you’ve visited to a darker planet on the outskirts of the solar system “- it’ll bring us here, but if we skip this point -” you say pointing at another map of a planet ran by vampires “- we’ll just end up back on the Void.” You lean back in your chair and sigh “Finding the jumping off point is always the hardest, but once we get going we’ll be able to make our way through the timeline without to many issues.” You smile at Loki trying to instill some confidence in his decision to join you. He looks at you skeptically “You don’t know what you’re doing do you?” You narrow your eyes at him “Just because I don’t use the big fancy words that Tony does, doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m talking about.” “That’s precisely what that means though - “ he starts. Oh shit, footsteps. You grab his arm and put up a finger to signal to him that he needs to be quiet. You both hear the footsteps round the corner and a voice say “I could have swore I heard voices when I came by earlier but I don’t see any names on the schedule for this room”. The door opens and you see two guards looking around at the room. Loki starts to speak but you shake your head for once in your life please don’t talk. He looks at you, your eyes locked on the guards, and notices the flicker of green in your eyes. “There’s no one in here G-42, you must be hearing things.” “I swear I heard a -”, “Yeah yeah yeah, you just need a break from the last mission that’s all” and the door closes again. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in. “How did you do that?” You think about how to answer. “I didn’t make us invisible if that’s what you’re wondering, I just made a barrier that blocked us from their sight. That’s the best way I can explain it anyway.” You start to gather your notes and maps, “I think we better get to my safe house, we’ll have less visitors there.” “There’s other places you can go outside of the TVA?” Loki looks at you puzzled. “Oh no, it’s a pocket dimension I found. Is there anything you need to get before we leave?” He pauses, and thinks about Mobius for a moment “Can I say goodbye to Mobius? I know he doesn’t remember me I just ... need to say bye.” You look into his eyes and see that he’s being genuine “Are you sure you want to do this? If it helps you should know that he’s not technically ‘your Mobius’ he’s another variant”. He looks down at the table, thinking for a moment. “I promise I’m not trying to deter you, I’m just trying to be realistic with you. If you truly want to do this I’m sure he’s in his office down the hall.” He nods “I’ll be quick”. 

The two of you try to act as casual as possible as you walk down the hall, avoiding eye contact with anyone you pass. Being here over a thousand times you know exactly where Mobius is at this time of day. You stop a few feet from the open doorway and whisper “He doesn’t know you but I can’t say whether or not he’ll recognize me, so I’ll just wait here and keep watch”. Loki nods, stands up straight, and tries to brush is hands through his hair a bit. You shake your head at him, smiling. “Oh shut up” he whispers at you and hurries off. You see him materialize a stack of folders, and go into the office. 

*Knock, knock* Mobius looks up from his afternoon snack to see a tall, dark headed man in the doorway. “Oh hey there, what can I do for ya?” he asks happily. Loki quickly says “Sorry to bother you, I just got lost. I thought this was the way to the cafeteria” “Ha nope sorry, it’s down the hall, take a right, another right, then a left and you can’t miss the sign.” Mobius says smiling still. “Um thank you ... bye then” Loki stammers and walks back out. 

As Loki walks into the office, you start looking around for any other offices for a spare tempad. I’ll need one for Loki, and mine is almost dead anyway. You look across the hall into an open office. You poke your head in the office and see a box of tempads. JACKPOT. You take four for good measure but then you see the nameplate on the desk. Renslayer. Well fuck me I guess. You turn around and are eye to eye with the judge. She glares at you. You smile back “Hello Ramona”. “Who are you and why are you in my office?” she says still glaring. “Just picking up some extra tempads for my next mission” you says as you start backing out of the doorway. “Wait -” you hear her say and you close the door. You snap your fingers and lock the door. Ohshitohshitohsitohshit you think as you walk quickly down the hall back just as Loki is coming out of Mobius’s office. “I fucked up we need to go” you say grinning in panic. “I was gone for three minutes -” Loki says as you’re quickly putting in the coordinates of your safe house. The familiar orange portal opens and you pull him through before he can finish. 

You both land in a open field surrounded by tall trees and other various fauna. You look around huh I’m pretty close this time, I guess I am getting better at this. Loki sits up and says “Why did we fall and not just walk out like all the other portals I’ve been though?” You laugh “Um ... would you believe me if I said I didn’t think we’d fall out?” He starts to say something else but you interrupt by pointing over his shoulder at your cabin across the field. “Welcome to my home!” 

He turns to see a small cabin made out of dark wood, with bright purple shutters (“I like to be different” you explain), a large herb garden that has grown out of hand (”I’ve been busy, geez.”), and a porch with a porch swing overlooking the rest of the field. You hold out your hand to help him up and he takes it. As his hand grasps yours you feel a spark of the seidr well that’s new but don’t say anything.  As the two of you make your way to the cabin, Loki asks "Do you even having running water here?" You turn to look at him and wave your hands at him creating green sparks between your fingers. "Anything is possible with magic my darling".

You unlock your door and snap your fingers to light the fireplace and turn on a lamp. Loki looks around at the cozy room. Your patchwork couch of all colors and patterns sits before the small fireplace catches his eye, the far side of the room has a large painting of the field outside that you painted during the time you first found this place, the coffee table has an open book of poetry with a pressed flower from your garden in it, and he smiles at the large green bookshelf you'd made for your ever growing book collection. "As far as I'm concerned, my home is your home. The guest room is down the hall to the right and bathroom is the room across from it. I don't know if you have back problems like my Loki, but there's large bath in there that you're welcome to use." You wave your hand and a small jar of purple bath salts appear. "Here, put this in the bath water as the tub is filling up. It'll help the pain." He looks at you, unsure how to respond to the kindness "Um, thank you". "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me" you say as you walk away. Loki makes his way to the bathroom and notices your gallery wall of pictures and weapons you've collected. In the first picture he sees you with Tony and Bruce in the lab on your first day working with them, the next picture shows you and Bucky arm wrestling with the team gathered around cheering you on, the next picture shows you and Nat dressed up for one of Tony's many parties, "So y/n does know how to dress" he says to himself. He continues looking over the pictures. He sees one with you and Thor, both of you are smiling but the grief on your faces is clear that this was taken some time after Loki's death. "He did mourn you, you know. He loves you in his own way." he hears you say from the kitchen. "Can you stop doing that? It's like you know what I'm thinking" he says. He hears you laugh "Can't, I'm your wife."

The next set of pictures showed you holding Morgan at her second birthday as she hugs you tight, you with Clint as he shows you how to use a bow in the training area, and one big group picture of the whole team. You stand in the front with Clint, Nat, and Tony while the rest of the team stands behind the four of you, all smiles. The last picture he sees is one that someone had taken of Thor and the rest of the Asgardians in new Asgard, but in the far back he can see you on the hill next to marker.

That's all for part 4! This was going to be a bit longer but it's almost 1 here so I need to get to bed so I can be a functional adult tomorrow.

[imnotrevealingmyname]

When A God Gets Lost

Chapter 1

Summary: There are bad ways to travel; then, there are terrible ways to travel. Teleporting to another dimension through the Æther is the latter, apparently. But as the old Bengali adage goes, even tigers will eat grass when they're starving.

Maybe a Midgardian from a different dimension isn't such a bad travel companion after all.

Author's note: This is my submission for the @allaboardthereadingrailroad 's Marvel Diversity Challenge. The OFC is an Indian- a Bengali, more specifically.

Tags: @what-just-happened-bro @is-it-madness @myraiswack @green-valkyrie @teenagereadersciencenerd @ohdearhiddles @whatafuckingdumbass @poetic-fiasco @mrs-wolfhard @your-favourite-skittles @lehuka123 @kellatron55 @shiningloki @latent-thoughts @outlawangel2020 @loki-yoursaviourishere

Warnings: Gore, mild violence, mentions of death.

Loki had known this would come to pass. He had known what he had signed up for, when he'd agreed to accompany Thor to Svartalfheim.

He'd even welcomed his own death.

At the time, the sweet prospect of release had seemed to be a gift from Valhalla.

So he hadn't tried to stop it from happening.

Except, he had.

Blood dripping from his mouth, Loki struggled to let go of strings of seiðr desperately anchoring him to his body.

Dust settled on his mottled blue skin. His ears were ringing, and blacks spots seemed to have been tattooed into his retinas.

If not for the pain, Loki would've laughed at the irony of the situation. Once again, despite all his orchestrations, he was a helpless spectator, strung tight while instincts battled brain.

White hot pain seared his entire body, radiating from the wound to his extremities, as he fought to make the tendrils of seiðr retreat. Unfortunately, it was tied to his genes, bound intricately to the essence of his consciousness. It kept him from slipping into the much anticipated slumber, tightening its hold exponentially.

Numbly, Loki thought of all the times he had heard people talk about life flashing before one's eyes before the final rest settled in.

Loki saw nothing, however. The only thing that passed before his eyes was the dreaded vision of violet sparks of seiðr curling around his own, slowly drawing his life force from him.

The salt of his tears mixed with the metallic tang of blood in his mouth. This helplessness was something he had vowed to never fall into, ever again. But here he lay, defeated yet victorious, in a veritable stream of his own blood, fighting the very instincts that had brought him thus far in life.

Odin, Frigga, Thor… Asgard. They had all taken everything from him, everything he had ever treasured. Self worth, family, his very identity…

Loki had hoped that he could find it in death. Who he really was.

But no, he had been stripped of that luxury, too. Not once, not twice… several times. Twice at his behest, and several times at another's, humiliated and agonized.

Maybe I should stop fighting.

But that wasn't who he was. Loki may not have known who he truly was, but he knew what he wasn't. He had never been one to stop fighting.

But what am I fighting for? Will this right my transgressions? Their transgressions?

Maybe sometimes… to stop fighting was to land the ultimate blow.

Gasping for breath, pain ripping his innards to shreds, he looked down at his midriff. There it was; his seiðr. The only measure of identity he had left. It was flowing from his fingers, from his mouth, weaving between his wounds, holding him together in every sense.

Loki's head fell back as he gave in to it, letting his instincts take over.

He didn't know how much effect his seiðr would have, but seeing as he couldn't do anything about it, apparently…

Unfortunately, he had underestimated the power of his own magicks. Seiðr, in every form, was sentient in its own right. Unbeknownst to Loki, continuous exposure to two infinity stones had affected his own magic in several subtle ways. Seiðr learns from itself and grows- he had learnt this even before he knew how to speak complete sentences.

Never had he thought that magic of such cosmic levels could mingle with his own.

Until he saw a few straggling fragments of the Æther hovering around his limp form.

In its urgency to revive him, his seiðr had drawn the Æther to itself, having turned into something resembling a magnet for cosmic powers.

To his horror, the bloodred fragments of the Æther clustered around him, forming a small tornado of dust and seiðr, swooping in to throw an eerie light over him.

The light only grew in intensity. The pain was lessening- his body was almost completely numb now. Wind howled in his ears, and flashes of green and red blinded him.

Satisfied with its work, his seiðr rose to greet the Æther.

Loki had been completely pinned to the ground. He struggled to look down, and saw that the wound had healed almost all the way through- enough to let him survive.

Immediately, he tried to draw back the seiðr. Enough damage had been done, he didn't need any more adventures.

The seiðr had other ideas, apparently.

Green and red danced together, shimmering and singing a shrill, haunting tune that rattled Loki to the core, producing a stab of pain in his gut.

Oh. His seiðr could only do so much. The spear that had impaled him must've been poisoned…

Which meant that his control over his seiðr was limited, and it knew it.

And thus, it was trying to regain strength by sapping it off the one of the most dangerous entities in all of the Realms.

Unlike normal seiðr, the Æther- as well as the other Infinity Stones- needn't be bound to an individual. They had their own separate existence.

Loki didn't even want to know what might happen if it bound itself to him.

Unfortunately, the velocity of the mingling magicks was growing, forming a pitch black void above him.

Fuck.

A sound of surprise and shock was the last thing that left his mouth before he was sucked into the vortex.

A deep rumble ran through the entirety of Svartalfheim when the dust settled- almost as though the Realm heaved a sigh of relief.

----

Aakshya's head hurt. Half an hour on the Arambagh local train with two three year olds bawling their lungs out less than two metres away could do that to anyone.

The last few days weighed down on her. It was all so surreal. Her last living relative- the last one she had been on good terms with, anyway- was gone.

Aakshya sighed softly, adjusting her glasses as her eyes filled with tears. She blinked them away. It wasn't surprising, not really. Her great aunt had been quite aged, but losing her was still a blow she wasn't quite prepared to deal with.

At least here, she could mourn in peace.

The Chandur forest had always been her happy place. After very long weeks at work, she had a habit of spending the weekend in a small resort here, sometimes. It was just quiet enough to help her recuperate.

The resort was still half an hour away. She decided to take her time today.

The sky was darkening, and she could see the moon through the spaces between the canopies of the trees.

The moon seemed larger today. Or maybe that was just the tears in her eyes.

She sped up a little, a prickly feeling spreading over her nape.

Were the trees rustling a bit more than usual? No, that must've been the wind… right?

Aakshya stopped dead in her tracks, clutching her bag tightly.

To her right, someone stumbled in the dark, groaning deeply and uttering a string of incoherent words in a language she couldn't recognize.

Maybe it was just the owner of the resort... Though why would she be here? Wouldn't she be at the resort itself?

"Sukanya Di, tumi?"she called out timidly. "Tumi ekhane ki korcho?" Is that you, Sukanya? What are you doing here?

She whipped around, frightened.

The sight that greeted her eyes was unnerving.

A blue-skinned, armour-clad man, covered in blood, was half sprawled on the ground, chest heaving as he struggled to rise.

The weirdest thing was that he was surrounded by red and green light that seemed to be trying to enter his body.

Aakshya stumbled backwards- but then she yelped when the man's hand shot forward and grabbed her upper arm, preventing her from fleeing.

"What is this place?"he rasped, using her as support to pull himself up to full height. Aakshya's eyes widened- he was over a foot taller than her, and he seemed to have been impaled clean through his chest.

Judging from the blood, the wound was fresh; but it was already closing in front of her eyes.

What in the world-

"I asked you something, mortal,"he snapped, shaking her a little. It affected his balance, apparently, because he swayed dangerously, catching himself by steadying himself against a nearby tree.

"Are you- is this some kind of a prank?"she squeaked, trying to pry his fingers off of her.

The man growled, and then coughed up a little more blood. "Answer the bloody question, girl."

"Earth, we're on Earth,"Aakshya managed, now fighting to get out of his hold. "Unhand me, you-"

If the fact that a man who had been impaled quite recently was stronger than her was a matter of concern, it didn't strike her then, as she attempted to scratch and bite him. The man merely grunted in annoyance, retaliating by giving her another shake.

"You're lying,"he snarled. "This cannot be Midgard."

"I don't know what's going on, but-"

"Unless… no…" He seemed to be speaking to himself now, though his scarlet eyes were on her.

It was completely dark now, and Aakshya was in the hold of some creep in a forest.

Well, I'm fucked.

----

Loki couldn't believe how bad his luck was. His chest stung with every laboured breath, and the Æther was still swirling around him, and now he had been transported to a different dimension.

He could feel it.

Which meant…

There were two of him in this dimension alone.

Oh, fuck.

Meanwhile, the girl was still trying to free herself from his grasp.

Loki gave her a crooked grin. "Looks like you're stuck with me now."

She gave him a look of outrage. "No, I-"

"What's your name?"

She seemed to quell under his gaze. "Aakshya."

"Pretty name. I'm Loki, God of Mischief and Father of Magick."

Aakshya scowled, trying to hit him. "Look, if this is some weird cosplay thing, I'm really not in the mood-"

Loki sighed, using the dredges of his seiðr to still her. "Girl, I've been impaled with a poison tipped spear and thrown into a different dimension, so I'm not in the mood for your tantrums."

Her eyes bulged with rage and she tried in vain to bite him.

"How about you and I go on a nice little walk, hmm? I can sense your loneliness and heartache, girl. I am very perceptive,"Loki said with a small smirk. "I can help you, if you help me. What say you?"

"I say you're a dangerous, senile man who's a bit too obsessed with mythology,"Aakshya spat, struggling to move.

Loki laughed softly. "Oh, but a little danger never hurt."

[kneel-begyourpardon]

Riven

Pairing: Loki x reader

Summary: You’re the infamous villain who helped Loki try to take over the world. While he’s being punished, you’re free.  Now, avengers need your help and as a price all you want is them to give you Loki.They’re not happy about it,  but what can they do?  (of the whole series)

Warnings: ANGST, mention of suicide, mentally abusive Loki. ( this chapter only) funny thing...this is supposed to be series but...my inspiration abandoned me haha.

Word count: 1.3k

A/n: it’s been a WHILE since I wrote anything so I’m a bit critical but hope you’ll like it. 

I do not own the picture*

The living room was a mess. Plates and opened packages littered the table making It look like you had a whole party and not only two people over. You hated when you had to clean up after them. Yes, they were the guests but they acted like they owned the place, so help would be much appreciated but you never dared to ask. 

You didn't even know what you were complaining about. Cleaning and doing work was the only time your head was clear. Why did you whine about it then? You had no idea. 

That's all you did lately whining and pitying yourself. But who could blame you. You were a sad person with nothing but a sad life. At least you could still whine.

Another sigh escaped your lips and you rubbed your eye with the back of your hands. You were tired. But knowing yourself, even if you went to bed right away, you wouldn't be able to fall asleep and waste the precious time on self-loathing. So you got yourself together and started gathering up all the dishes. You put everything in the sink and started running the water. The hot water felt soothing against your skin as you washed the dirty plates.

"They think you're pathetic,"

The sudden voice startled you. You flinched but not enough to drop the plate. You got somewhat used to it but he liked to sneak up on you when you were least expecting it.

"I locked the door," you said in a small voice, not even daring to look at him. A small chuckle he gave you wasn't the cute one he once started with. It was the maniacal one that made you goosebumps rise on your skin every time.

"Locked doors can't keep me out. I thought you learnt that." His voice was low and calming but the words he spoke made your whole body tense. 

You continued cleaning the plates and tried to ignore him but it was hard when you could feel his instant gaze on yourself. God, you just wished he'd just leave you alone. 

A minute of silence with the sound of water running and the plates hitting the metal felt like an hour. You waited for him to make a move as you quickly went through the dishes. And soon enough he was leaning against the counter next to you.

"Why do you bother with them when you despise them this much?"

His words caught you off guard. You froze. The plate in your hand went still as you quickly glanced towards him. He was looking at you with his infamous smirk and you swiftly went back to washing. 

"I don't." The defence was so pathetic that not even a little kid would believe you, especially a god of lies.

"Don't fool yourself, you hate them as much as they hate you. They think you're pitiful, broken. The only reason they spend time on you is that they don't want to seem rude."

His every word was hit to your heart. And you clutched the cup in your hand tightly. Trying not to get lost in his words.

"Stop." you pleaded but the little voice only made his smirk grow.

"I'm telling the thought. I looked into their minds and that's what I saw." He leaned closer towards you making you look up at him. "But you already know that,  don't you?" 

You looked at him as tears pulled in your eyes. It wasn't fair. He couldn't just come in your house whenever he wished and make you feel this small, this vulnerable. It wasn't fair. You were sick of crying in front of him. It was embarrassing and the pleasure in his eyes made you want to throw up. 

"Are you going to cry again?" he asked with a little pout. "What a shame." As if he genuinely cared. 

Closing the water, you dropped everything in the sink and quickly made your way towards your bedroom. A little relief washed over you when you didn't hear his footsteps follow. You closed the door the moment you got in and leaned against it. 

"Pathetic." 

The sound did make you jump this time as you brought your hands to your ears. Pushing on them with all your power to keep his voice out. 

"Stop. Stop! Just stop! I can't take it anymore." you screamed as you slid down to the floor. The first sob wrecked your body and you knew there was no coming back. He knew every dark thought in your head. Every little secret that you kept. He knew your biggest fears and darkest regrets and he would use them without a doubt.

You cried as you begged him to stop, to leave but all he did was stand and watch you break even more. You wanted to end this. All of this. You couldn't take it anymore. You forgot what it felt like when you didn't want to die every second in your life. You forgot who you were before all of this started. Who were you and what have you become? You just wanted to stop.

You gripped your ears, pulling hard on them while shaking from the fear. The tears streamed down your cheeks like a never-ending river and you felt yourself getting smaller every second he watched you cry one more time. 

The little steps he took made you cower back into the door. You wanted to run but what was the point. He would find you everywhere you'd go. He would find you and break you even more. 

The man knelt in front of you. Grabbing your jaw he harshly yanked it up making you look into his cold eyes.

"You're nobody. Do you hear me? Nobody. They don't care. Nobody cares. You can try to make them understand but nobody will. As much as they’ll claim, they’ll help you. That they’ll get you through this nobody will. You know why? Because you’re nobody. 

And as hard as you try to explain it to them, they will just stop believing you. And you can cry and cry and cry but nothing will change. All you will cause is jokes. They will joke and you will have to laugh about your pain because nobody cares. 

You can end this and your friends will mourn you. Your family will mourn you but for how long? Few years? Until you became just a part of their past. They will make their own tragedy from you. People you don’t even know will judge you for what you have done. Will call you selfish for the pain you’ve caused. But no one will care for the reason you did it. Nobody will care for you. Because you’re nobody.

So you can sit here and cry until you become numb or you can join me and cause them the pain they have caused. Because in the end, everybody will die and all you have is a choice, become a part of something bigger or die being nobody." 

You had heard this so many times. And each time it got harder to listen to it. Because each time it got more and more real. You understood what he was saying more every time and the feeling of finally giving up was too tempting to push it away one more time. He was a bad guy. But the pain in his voice every time he described the feeling was there and maybe, maybe he understood what was in your heart. 

But it didn't matter. Because he was right. Nobody cared about you. You couldn't fight him anymore. You didn't have that much power to fight him and yourself. And that's when you gave up.

He saw you give up. He saw it in your eyes. The way they lost their fire. The way your body completely relaxed in his touch. He saw you give up.

"Now, will you come with me?" he asked and whipped the tears away. You just nodded, not having the power to speak up.

The smile that ran over his face was pure joy as he petted your head.

"Good girl. You're going to learn a lot more."

F.T: @percyjackson886​ @simsadventures​

[tcookies]

Why I'm mad about Nat's death:

Something I'm really upset about with Natasha's death (other than the fact of her death itself) is that basically everyone's arc had proper closure but Nat.

Steve got Bucky back and also had the chance to reunite with Peggy.

Tony got to marry Pepper and have the retired family life he dreamt of as well as get closure about his AoU vision by performing the snap to prevent the vision that had haunted him for years. He also got to talk and resolve things with his father, which was something that had been teased since the beginning of his arc for years.

Bruce finally resolved things with Hulk and has made peace with himself, able to lead a happy and carefree life now.

Clint got his family back and can officially retire for good (unless he decides to pick up the bow again to maybe help train new recruits).

Thor got to speak with his mother (and see Loki) one last time while also realizing that he was still worthy despite his descent into depression.

MEANWHILE NAT GETS THE SHORT END OF THE STICK (AGAIN). We never actually saw how things between her and Bruce were resolved. We never saw Tony apologizing to her for accusing her of being a double-spy in Civil War (even though Tony and Steve are able to have a brief chat about moving on from their past issues right before Tony gives him back the shield). All we had was her fetching Clint, brainstorming the Time Heist, and then SPLAT she's dead forever?! No personal conversation with Steve, Tony, or Bruce to clarify things whatsoever. The only important scene we had of Nat was when she was telling Steve that the Avengers were her family. Looking at it now and knowing she's killed off an hour later, that scene feels forced and like it was written in as an extra last minute development for Nat before her death. The trailer scenes of her training with the punching bag, at the shooting range, and sitting alone in the rain were all cut out from the film in favor of unnecessary (although admittedly entertaining) fanservice scenes like Cap VS Cap, Antman wanting a photo with the fan kids, etc. Once again, Nat is pushed to the sidelines in favor of the core 3 (Steve, Tony, and Thor). Natasha's character only get 33 minutes of screentime in Endgame while the core 3 get over an hour. Not to mention Natasha barely appeared let alone spoke in Infinity War. And I don't think it's fair that her character gets pushed aside to dedicate more screentime/development towards 3 characters who each already have their own title trilogies and have hundreds of minutes worth of screentime and character development compared to Nat whose character development relies on the Avengers films. And yes, she is getting her own film, but it's a solo - not a trilogy.

Honestly, ever since Infinity War's release, I was actually 99% sure that Natasha would die by self-sacrifice. What I did NOT expect was for her scenes to be cut out (as usual), and no memorial or funeral for her. What also makes me mad is that like 2 minutes after her death, there's already a comedic scene shoved in. We have 1 minute of the boys "mourning" Nat (with Clint bitching at Thor and saying "it was supposed to be me" like Clint my dude stop making it about yourself) and then it cuts to the soul stone being arranged into the gauntlet with the other stones. And then Rocket goes "boo!" for shits and giggles to make viewers laugh - like wtf? Not the best time for comedy. The audience is still processing Nat's death and mourning an OG Avenger who has been in the MCU for a decade and not a moment later we're being thrown into a brief moment of hilarity. It rips you out of the moment and kind of makes the audience already start to forget about Nat as the plot moves forward to ACT 3.

It doesn't help that she's barely mentioned afterward, let alone gets even a memorial. Hell, they could have at least laid a red rose on the side of Tony's wreath and then the directors could explain after that the extra rose was a dedication to Nat. I understand that putting her belt on Tony's memorial wreath wouldn't have made it Tony's wreath so much anymore, but ffs at least put some sort of small trinket or anything to dedicate to her.

You know, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the AVENGERS films were supposed to be about the AVENGERS as a group (specifically the OG 6) - NOT IRON MAN, CAPTAIN AMERICA & THOR film # 4 featuring Prof Hulk with special appearances by Hawkeye & Black Widow.

[missyslittlepet]

Loki x Reader fic

**This fic contains endgame spoilers!**

(S/n) = sons name. (F/n) = First name.

Something like this might have already been done but it's just an idea that has been floating around my head since I saw the film.

((Summary - When Loki was killed you didn't know you were expecting. You are part of the group that goes to find Thanos.))

Your fingers slowly stroked your stomach. There was no bump yet but soon enough there would be. You looked out the window and held back your tears; there was no time for those now. You had a job to do.

You had found out shortly after the snap. Half of your allies had been turned to dust, Tony was who knows where and Thor was a mess. You had never seen him so full of anger. The news should have been joyous but after all that had been lost it only brought back memories you would rather forget.

You kept it to yourself for a few weeks. Carrying the pain that it brought you alone. Loki had died never knowing he was to be a father and that broke your heart. The knowledge of the baby brought horrible nightmares and you found yourself unable to shake the images of Loki thrashing around for air. His lifeless, blood shot eyes stared at you from the floor of the ship. You would wake up in cold sweats and find yourself unable to breathe. Just a small fraction of what he must have felt.

Thor found you one night crying on the bedroom floor. He had sat and cried with you when you finally told him you were pregnant. He held you close as the two of you mourned for the Asgardian trickster well into the early hours of the morning. Before he left Thor vowed to keep you and his nephew safe but you could see in his eyes that he didn't believe he could.

You and Thor were the first ones to volunteer when they found Thanos.

"Is this a good idea?" He had muttered quietly to you while the others readied themselves for the trip.

"I need to see him, Thor. If there is anyway we can get Loki back I have to be there." You sighed.

"What about the... you know... it isn't saf-" He kept his voice hushed knowing you didn't want others to know yet.

"I have to be there." You cut him off and walked towards the ship calmly.

Thor watched you leave. He had always known you were tough from the day he had met you. When he found out about you and Loki he couldn't stop grinning. He had teased his brother for weeks, loving how embarrassed and flustered he got when you were brought up. On a serious note, he knew you were good for his brother. You could talk him down, make him smile. Most importantly you loved him more than anyone else had. Thor could see it in the way you look at him. Complete adoration.

The trip to the Planet Thanos had retired to was quick. The jumps knocked you a little bit ill but you managed to keep yourself from throwing up.

Carol went ahead to scout the place out. You waited quietly for her to return. It seemed like hours before she approached the ship again.

"There's no security. No guards. He's alone." She said from outside the ship.

Everyone looked at each other with furrowed brows. This wasn't what you had expected.

"Then what are we waiting for?" You muttered.

The plan was fool proof. Attack him when he wasn't expecting it, remove the gauntlet and kill him if necessary. You were set to be one of the last people to join the struggle. You watched on as the others busted through his hut and waited for your signal. Soon enough you were called through along with Thor.

"Where are the stones?" Nat asked.

"Gone." Replied Thanos. "Reduced to atoms."

"You used them two days ago!" Bruce's voice came from inside the Hulk Buster suit.

"I used the stones to destroy the stones and it nearly killed me. But, the work is done..." He locked eyes with you.

Thonos wasn't how you remembered him. He was burned badly, his hand was cut from his body but the emotions hit you all the same. The tears pricked your eyes.

"It always will be." And just like that all hope of getting Loki back was lost.

You knew he was talking to you in that moment. He remembered you from the ship. He remember how you had tried so hard to save Loki and the way you had screamed and sobbed over his dead body.

"Why?" You whispered as one tear slipped down your cheek. Everyone turned to look at you.

Thanos remained silent.

"You took everything from me." You said, dropping to your knees in front of him. "My people, my family... my husband..." Your voice broke.

He still refused to say anything.

"He didn't even know." You were crying now. "He was going to be a father. You killed him before he even found out. You destroyed my life. You've made it so my child will never know it's father. Why?"

Everyone stared at you, mouths wide in shock and sadness at what they had just discovered.

Thanos held your gaze.

"SAY SOMETHING!" You slapped him angrily across the face.

Thanos' eyes briefly looked at the floor before meeting yours once again.

"We've all lost people. You are no different."

You pressed your lips in a thin line and sniffed. You dried your tears and took a deep breath. Loki was gone. You stood once again and nodded at Thor. In an instant Thor's axe sliced clean through his neck and Thanos' head bounced across the floor.

Without another word you and Thor walked away from the hut.

*5 years later*

You watched as your son played with his toys on the floor. His messy black hair fell in front of his face and a cheeky smile tugged at his lips. He looked just like him. You always found yourself tearing up when you realised how alike they were. Everyone told you it would get easier, told you that the nightmares would stop. They were wrong. It never got easier.

A knocking at your door pulled you from your thoughts. Slowly you stood and walked towards your door. You opened it a crack and were met by Thor, Bruce and Rocket.

"(F/n), long time no see." Rocket said pushing past you. Thor followed behind the raccoon quietly. You could tell he had been drinking again.

"(F/n)." Bruce smiled warmly and pulled you into a hug. "How's (S/n)?"

"He's good. Come see him." You smiled.

You had heard Bruce had taken his hulk form. You were happy he had finally come to terms with the hulk part of himself.

Bruce and you walked towards the living room to join everyone. Thor and (S/n) were play wrestling while Rocket laughed. You chuckled a little at the sight and sat down next to Bruce.

"You've started getting powers, haven't you?" You smiled at your son. Thor looked over at you and grinned.

Thor was such a good uncle to him. He taught him how to play video games, told him funny story about the mischief his father used to create. (S/n) had always loved the one where his dad had pretended to be a snake. Without Thor's help you wouldn't have been able to cope.

"You will make a powerful God." Thor roared with a smile as he picked (s/n) up. "Your father would have been so proud." His face dropped slightly and so did yours.

"Anyway," You said to fill the silence. "What brings you all here? I doubt this is just a casual visit."

"We have an idea. To get the stones back and we would like your help." Bruce explained.

You were stunned. "They were destroyed. How?"

"Ever seen Back to the Future?" Rocket asked.

"No?" You said.

"Me neither, but I'm told it's about time travel and that's how we're going to do it."

"...time travel..." You sat back in your chair mulling over the information.

"It's going to be dangerous," Bruce nodded. "but we need all the people we can get."

Your son ran up to you in that moment and climbed up onto your lap. You hugged him close and kissed his raven hair.

"Dangerous how?" You asked.

"If things go wrong there's a chance you could get stuck in the past." Answered Rocket.

Your son looked up at you and smiled, his eyes lighting up just like his dads used to.

"...I... can't." You finally sighed. "I need to think about (S/n). Without me and Thor he has no family. I love Loki with all of my heart and if there is any other way I can help I will, but I can't risk getting stuck. I'm so sorry." You had tears in your eyes again. Your son hugged you tightly. He hated seeing his mother cry.

Bruce placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "It was stupid of us to ask, we're sorry. Of course we'll find you something to help us with. (F/n) if there is any way we can bring your husband back we will."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." You cried.

You left (S/n) with Valkyrie while you travelled with Thor, Bruce and Rocket to the lab; promising him you would be back soon. You prayed that you could help them get the stones. So many people had lost so much and if there was anyway or fixing it you were damn sure you were going to try. The small flicker of hope was refreshing but you knew you had to prepare for the worst. You took a deep breath and watched as New Asgard faided into the distance.

[the-only-villain-here-is-me]

The Aftermath

Fandom: MCU

Pairing: None

Warnings: Violence, Language, Very Very Sad.(You've Been Warned)

Note: I cried like a baby writing this because Marvel can't just let my faves be happy for once and now I'm the one making my babes sad, dark, and brooding.

Summary: After the snap, what occurs after such a catastrophic event? Will tensions rise between our heroes or will they break down their walls and invite each other in? This is the aftermath...

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The worst had happened and they were unable to stop it. With the snap of his mere fingers, the devilish Mad Titan brought half the universe to nothing more than wisps of dust.

They had searched; of course; they weren't ready to give up so soon on bringing back their loved ones.

After the snap, they gazed upon the destruction he brought about and the only corpse they had to bury; the Vision. His lifeless image stayed with them; kept some of them up at night even.

Steve had sunk to his knees in the place where his best friend; the man he had just finally regained back from the brink; had perished. He was just a pile of ashes and nothing more.

No one dared bother the mourning man, even after they lead him back to his quarters to stay. The sobs of their leader were just background fuzz to their own traumas; they were shell shocked, angry, frightened, and struggled to hold back their own tears.

Natasha threw herself back into the gym the second they walked through those doors; anyone who tried to talk with the eerily quiet assassin were met with a grunt in acknowledgement or mainly, silence; aside from the repetitous thumps of her bare, bruised and bloody knuckles against the leather bag.

They were broken; but tried their hardest to piece themselves back together. No one had been able to locate Tony in those days after the snap and they had unanimously voted to stay in Wakanda to help with the clean up; it gave them something to focus on.

Bruce blamed himself; for not being able to do more, although he knew in his heart that the Titan wouldn't have been felled by the Hulk alone. He locked himself in one of the labs, basking in the silence as he researched tirelessly ways to recover his friends. He was sure it just had to be science and he knew science. He wouldn't stop until he unlocked the truth.

Shuri would occasionally hover in the doorway, jumping in to assist wordlessly when he needed help with some variables. She would bump him out of her way gently and examine the problem, pretending for just a moment that her brother would stop by and urge her to return to her room for some much needed sleep.

She, of course; knew that wouldn't be the case and so she didn't sleep, at least until Bruce banned her from the lab.

They had gotten into quite the fight over that; tensions already high and boiling over into things that usually wouldn't matter so much.

"This is my lab; you don't get to tell me what to do!" She had screamed, a big fat lump sitting in her throat as her voice cracked on the next part, "You're not my brother!"

Bruce had apologized profusely, but she ignored him as she decided to return to her room in order to avoid speaking to anyone further.

Okoye never was far from the Princess either; although she did keep a little distance as instructed.

She felt guilty, that T'Challa had slipped through her fingers as dust as he tried to help her rise. She knew she couldn't have changed the outcome; but that didn't stop her from wanting to protect his sister with everything she could muster. Sort of as an unofficial last request to her King.

Thor had become the rock, of sorts. He still mourned his brother and friends, but his facade was much stronger; the cracks sealed with a layer of wisecracks and reassuring pats on the backs of his quiet comrades.

When he retired to his quarters, though; that was a whole other story. His dreams were plagued with the dull, emerald eyes of his mischievous brother. Every time he attempted to picture his brother back at his trickful ways, all he saw was his pale corpse devoid of any breath.

In his nightmares, he watched as Thanos squeezed the life from his brother; helpless.

"Br-rot-ther...h-help me!" Loki would choke out, his eyes pleading.

When the Mad Titan released his grip, his body would tumble to the floor like a rag doll; his limbs splayed awkwardly.

Slowly, his brother would turn to face him and with nothing but distaste in his dull eyes, would utter, "You let me die!"

Thor woke up in cold sweats after these and took to staring out the window the remainder of the night; glaring up into the stars as he plotted the slow and painful ways he would bring Thanos to his knees.

The day Tony returned, with Nebula in tow; Rocket had rushed in; hoping to see the rest of the Guardians.

"They're gone," She had deadpanned before storming off.

Bruce had pulled Tony into a bear hug when he saw the man walk in. The broken man hadn't reciprocated the action; his eyes dull and glassy; as if he was stumbling through a haze.

Steve had taken that exact moment to exit his room, his eyes still red and cheeks swollen, his lips set in an unmoving line.

They met eyes, from across the room and Steve pulled away from the intense staring match first, flicking his head to look at a spot on the wall.

"He's dead too, isn't he?" Tony had questioned, the first sentence he had let slip past his lips ever since they arrived.

Steve merely nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly.

The others steeled themselves for an outburst, their bodies rigid as they waited for the two to explode at one another after being thrown back into a still smoldering fire of anger.

Then Tony did something unexpected; he stepped forward and placed his hand on the Captain's shoulder, nodding his head slightly.

"We're going to get that purple son of a bitch, even if it's the last thing we do Cap," He muttered before taking off soundlessly down the hall to the lab to fix up his wound properly.

He met a tired Rhodey at the end of the hall, still fuming after having had spoken to General Ross.

General Ross had been spewing an angry tirade about how the Avengers had let down the world and this is not how a team acts and blah blah blah.

"With all due respect, sir; half of the team you're talking about were considered fugitives by you five minutes ago and now you want to complain that they weren't doing their jobs?" He had scoffed angrily, ending the call before he could really let the man know what he thought.

He was the only person left to deal with the hellish late night calls from pissed off U.S Government Officials who knew jack squat and it had been taking a toll. Not to mention that the press couldn't stop ringing him for juicy details about the catastrophe.

"Good to see you in one piece Tony," He chuckled at the man, pulling him into a brief one armed hug.

"Have you heard anything about Pepper?" Tony questioned him, his eyes wide in worry over the fate of his fiance.

"She's fine Tony, we got her set up in a safe house," Rhodey had murmured.

"The kid- he's gone," Tony added, his voice cracking.

"We'll get him back Tony," Rhodey had promised; knowing good and well he was in no position to be making such promises.

Two years since he had made that promise.

Things still hadn't changed.

Tony headed back to New York eventually, noting the city streets were nearly empty as he made his way down them; watching the clean up crews fixing the destruction.

He and Pepper pushed the wedding as he searched day and night for Thanos.

One such night, he found himself staring up into the sky littered with stars due to the drastic transformation of New York City's skyline due to less emission.

"Man up asshole; I want to talk!" He screamed up into the night as a cool breeze tickled his face.

The balcony remained quiet, and he had shaken his head at the half hearted try.

He should of been happy that night; when Pepper announced she was pregnant. He should of been ecstatic at the news.

He just felt, oddly empty. Thanos had taken the one thing he had longed for and turned it into runner up to getting Peter back to his distraught Aunt May.

"Morgan Parker," He offered, gazing into her eyes as tears welled up in his.

She had pulled him into a hug and he felt safe. Safe had usually taken on a new meaning for him, but this; this was safe.

Steve got himself an apartment in Brooklyn for dirt cheap with all the real estate popping up seemingly over night.

It was a one room studio; all he had was a bed, a bare kitchen, and a table with three chairs.

He had a stack of sketch pads under his bed, tucked into a rusted metal box. Page after page was filled with the images of his dead friends.

Bucky, Wanda, Sam, Vision. He was almost obsessive as he tried to draw them into beautiful scenes.

Vision and Wanda with their heads tossed back, frozen in mid-laughter. Bucky curled up in a raggedy arm chair, feet slung over the side as he read, brows furrowed; To Kill A Mockingbird. Sam rolling his eyes jokingly or paused in a sort of still as he threw a water balloon.

He refused to take them out when anyone came over; locking the box and hanging the key under his shirt, close to his heart.

Natasha came over a lot; more than anyone else had. Mainly, she visited between missions.

He would often wake up to find the woman passed out against the wall in a sitting position, snoring gently as the cuts all over her body spilled over and bruises painted her pale skin.

He would pull the blanket from his own bed and lie it over her lap, attempting to ignore her strangled cries that erupted as she slept fitfully.

She also had a lot on her plate as she helped Clint out; as Laura and Lila had perished in the snap; leaving him to care for Cooper and Nathaniel.

Clint was pissed, to say the least, that even after he retired; his old life still pulled him back in like a moth to a goddamn flame.

He couldn't exact his revenge; his kids were his number one priority. Instead, he entrusted Natasha with being his eyes, ears, and legs.

She would go out and bring him back information on Thanos, all while balancing bedtime stories and dinner time.

Clint would have envied how strong she was if he didn't know how hard she was trying to keep it together in the first place. He knew she was just as broken as he was, no matter how hard she tried to mask it.

"You know; you can cry Nat," He had told her one day after a fight over her well being.

"Crying doesn't get your family or our friends back Clint," She had huffed back pointedly, storming from the house.

She had went to see Bruce at the compound, wanting to talk.

Bruce resided at the compound with Thor, Nebula, Rocket and Rhodey, but he rarely talked to anyone as he chose to throw himself into his work.

"Nat," He greeted the woman with a nod as she stormed in, fluttering the papers around her.

"Why did you leave?" She deadpanned, although she could still feel the unfamiliar sensation of a lump in her throat.

"Nat- I- I really don't know," He had stammered.

"BULLSHIT!" She broke down, slamming her fist against the glass table, sending it through.

Her hand was cut up, skin shredded and pain dulled as adrenaline coursed through her veins, as she took out her rage at the shitstorm that had erupted in their lives those past couple years; that tore them apart, pulled them and molded them into people she didn't recognize.

Bruce wordlessly patched her up as she stared out the window with angry tears prickling the corners of her eyes.

He pretended not to notice.

That was all any of them had been doing.

Pretending.

Pretending it didn't hurt.

Pretending they were moving on.

Pretending they were tough enough to contain it.

Pretending they weren't self medicating.

With booze...

With love...

With obsessions...

They couldn't think of the consequences during battle; they had to fight.

This was the battle that was littered with the consequences and choices.

This was the inner battle.

This was the aftermath.

[liberty-barnes]

okay so i've just read this masterpiece of a fic which all you loves should be rushing to read as well and originally i was just planning on choosing a couple of my favorite lines to quote back cause i know how cool that is but then it somehow turned into a running commentary of it???

sleep deprivation, everyone

don't do it kids

so anyway, read this fic, give gina all the live and appreciation she deserves, running commentary under the cut

“Yes, really. Go. I have to consult the Google about how to fix you.”

don't mind me, i'm just gonna laugh my way into a six pack.

"You’re welcome. I like taking care of you… especially since you don’t do such a great job of it on your own.” SAY IT LOUDER SO HE CAN HEAR IT OVER THE BLATANT DENIAL!!!!! tbh it just reminds me of this

He certainly had been sick a few times in the last dozen years, but he’d basically popped a few paracetamols and powered through it until it passed. No one had pampered him or cared for him since he was a little boy. So, while he longed for it, he also felt uneasy and somewhat unsure about how he should respond[...] what makes this even funnier is that my stupid ass thought: "that's not good, you shouldn't do that" knowing FULL WELL that that's exactly what i do “I think it’s really better if I do it for you.” Harry cocked his head and frowned. “Are you being shy about it? You’ve seen me without my shirt. I didn’t mind.” *laughs in the-gutter-is-now-my-primary-residence* “Oh, they get hard when I do that. I haven’t tried this with mine. Does it feel good if I pinch them?” in a captain america PSA voice: so, you thought it'd be a good idea not to put sex ed into his programming. "[...]you’re already so grouchy when you don’t sleep well.” as a fellow morning grouch, i feel attacked. “I’ve been reading some articles that say that cuddling is an effective way to stay warm.” Louis’ eyes flew open; he was suddenly very awake. only one bed trope is nice, but only one bed trope with THIS harry? FUCKING ELITE The last time he’d let someone in it had only made things worse, so why would he put himself through that again? aaaaah yes, the trust issues. or as i call them ✨casting directors for future loved ones✨ Watching him leave, Louis scrubbed his hands over his face and whispered, “Please let him wear something that’s not too revealing.” In the end, it didn’t matter much what Harry wore, because Louis was going to die, regardless. no one: me looking at pictures: #how does [insert partner name] even survive? “Honestly, where did you find this exercise routine?” “Cosmo!” where else would you find something that's the perfect mix of sex and actual exercising? wait i just realised that if louis built harry that means he built his- *holds in laughter* welp, he's got no one to blame but himself “And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again...” OUIIII BAUDELAIREEE it took me a while to recognise it cause i'm used to reading it in french but damn do i love that poem also, reading the same paragraph thirty teams but still not READING it? fucking mood OH FOR THE LOVE OF LOKI WILL THEY JUST FUCKING KISS ALREADY “Can I touch you… with my mouth?” IT'S CALLED KISSING BABES BUT GO AHEAD JUST FUCKING DO IT WE ALL KNOW LOUIS WON'T MOTHERFUCKING FINALLY IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME ONLY TOOK FIFTEEN BLOODY THOUSAND WORDS WHA- HOLD ON WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE NOT TOGETHER YET GINAAAAAAAAA I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT “Well, no. First I came down to try and watch a movie.” Picking up the remote, Harry switched the TV back on. “I thought this was a romcom like we watched the other night, but then I realized it wasn’t...” only he would accidentally stumble upon porn and not do anything with it Harry turned to look thoughtfully at the TV again. “I don’t think they were boyfriends in the movie I was watching. They had only just met in the locker room at the gym.” THIS IS CASTIEL AND THE PIZZA MAN INCIDENT ALL OVER AGAIN (supernatural s6ep10 reference) “Oh. No! No. Harry is just an android companion. He’s a prototype for an experiment I’m working on.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Louis wished he could stuff them back in. sometimes i wish you could punch fictional characters Louis looked worriedly over at how Harry’s shoulders were drawn up tightly, his head ducked down as if he were trying to make himself smaller, and he felt an uneasiness crawl over him, as if he’d unwittingly outed Harry without his consent. you're on thin fucking ice Lewis, no one hurts babie harry and gets away with it With that, Connor leaned over and squeezed Louis’ knee with a wink.  oh abso-fucking-lutely not I WILL FIX THAT ROOF MYSELF WITH GLITTER, HOT GLUE, AND TEARS, BUT YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY YOU'RE SINKING MY SHIP

Louis turned to head back to the kitchen and found Harry sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, moodily flipping the pages of a recent issue of Cosmo. “What’s the matter?” Louis squeezed Harry’s shoulder as he walked past him to put water on for tea.  “Nothing.” Raising an eyebrow, Louis turned to look at the back of Harry’s head. “What do you mean, ‘nothing’? You clearly are upset.” “I mean, if you don’t know, what’s the point in even telling you?” oh it's over for you bitches SASSY HARRY IS IN THE HOUSE YOU TELL HIM BABE, DRAG HIM THROUGH THE FUCKING MUD “You’re jealous.” “I am not.”

same thing, different fonts iconic in both instances

In the silence, Louis realized that there was something off about the way Harry was inspecting his body–he was looking at himself with disgust, as if everything about his appearance filled him with shame. Louis knew the scars were from the process of creating Harry and bringing him to life, and while he’d done his best to make them as minimal as possible, he'd never noticed that Harry was even aware of them, let alone bothered by them. i feel like whatever's next is just gonna make me bawl so let me just go get the emergency tissues I’m ugly. You don’t want me. Don’t lie. ooooof the paiiiiiiiin “And every scar you have is because I wanted you to be here with me. Without those scars, you’d still be just an idea in my head.” okay yeah i take it back you're forgiven this is so much better than if they'd gotten together right at the beginning He knew he’d crossed a self-imposed boundary somewhere but right now, sitting between Harry’s thighs, he could barely remember why he’d set it in the first place. good news for you, since it's self-imposed you can just yeet it out the window and it'll all be good “Don’t smear my tattoos.” i'm genuinely impressed by how you can write the hottest thing in existence and then just make me snort into my tea with ONE FUCKING LINE Maybe it was worth trying, maybe he could stop closing himself off so much and just be a little bit emotionally vulnerable again.  me @ him: YEAH DO IT also me @ myself: let's put up a second set of walls in case this fic breaks the first one “Fucking Connor. Fuck him.”  metaphorically, of course oop i think i finally got why there's the fingers-in-mouth part in the moodboard “This is the best thing I’ve ever done.” wait till you try caipirinhas Harry absentmindedly scratched behind Clifford’s ear, as the dog lay his head in Harry’s lap and whined, hoping for a crumb to fall into his mouth.   clifford is me when i'm too tired to get food so i just hope someone will feed me “Oh! It’s kind of like ordering different things from a catalogue and seeing which fit best and returning the ones you don’t like!”  i don't think you understand that it is now quarter past midnight and i'm not supposed to be laughing anymore “Thank you for wanting me to see what’s out there. You’re so thoughtful.” Straightening up, he smiled widely at Louis. “You’re my best friend, Lou.”  WTF GINA NO DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE DON'T DO THIS TO ME PLEASE I'M FRAGILE AND MENTALLY UNSTABLE How could he expect Harry to want to stay with him when the world lay at his feet?  do you lurk around in my brain sometimes and write down all those depressing thoughts to put into your fics? cause this sounds straight (no, gay!) out of my late night showers “Oh, yes. Please tell me. I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.” oh honey............. “To have sex with them,” Harry said, nodding his head firmly, frowning as he stared out the windshield of the car. “I understand.”  PLEASE THIS IS CASTIEL ALL OVER AGAIN AND I LOVE IT “Mmhm. I was trying to get up the courage to ask you for a date.” well get it down again, nobody wants to see that. shoo. off you go. “Hey. Why don’t you go plug yourself in somewhere, Harry? Leave Louis alone, we were having fun.” gina, can i pretty please with a cherry on top punch this guy? Before Louis could answer, Harry grabbed Connor’s shirt and pulled him close, his voice becoming low and dark as he spoke through gritted teeth. “If you ever make a comment like that about him again, I’ll find you and make you sorry you ever met him.” Connor’s eyes darted between Harry and the rest of the room. “I may look human, but I can eviscerate you like a machine. No empathy. No remorse. No pity. Don’t. Test. Me.” YESSSSS YOU GO BABE, FUCKING WRECK HIM IN THE NOT FUN WAY “I’m sorry if I scared you. I was watching The Terminator yesterday.”  pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase just let be together, this dork can't be allowed in public saying stuff like that Harry looked pained, his eyes darting everywhere but at Louis. “So I

could be what you needed.” please he's so precious i just wrap him up in bubble wrap and protect him from the evils of this world “Sometimes I feel like you made my heart too small because it doesn’t hold everything I feel for you. I feel it overflowing everywhere.”  gina i'm dying over here “You do realize that Google isn’t just for looking up recipes, right?” WELL I REALISE THAT BUT HOW DO YOU REALISE THAT ????????? JUST THREE LINES AGO YOU WERE ASKING WHAT A HARD ON WAS “But you chose to program me without limiting my emotions to friendship?” as i said, only got himself to blame this smut scene is so chaotic and i love it HARRY IN LINGERIE I REPEAT HARRY IN LINGERIE THIS IS NOT A DRILL OMFG I SHOULD HAVE READ THE TAGS I WOULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER PREPARED INSTEAD OF MUFFLING MY SCREAMS I can barely think straight with you in those knickers. BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU- “I’ve been daydreaming about your arse for months.” well i mean mood, but certainly for very different reasons *eyes the workout motivation/inspo moodboard* “Whose fault is that? You literally made my cock this big.” my point exactly “Okay seriously, how are humans not doing this all day long?”  cause we don't have that kind of stamina and also sex isn't gonna pay the bills oh wait okay but like now i'm just wondering where does it even come from? what's his cum made of?? WHY DID I THINK MOTOR OIL??? NO, BAD MIAH, STOP THINKING AND ENJOY THE SEX “I hate when you leave,” Harry called out salaciously, “but I love to watch you go.” OOOOH THAT'S MINE AND MY BEST FRIEND'S CATCH PHRASE huh that's...interesting let's just shove that maybe realisation into a box and never open it again, shall we? “I was just thinking that we were made for each other. Which made me laugh because I literally was made for you.” “Not on purpose !” i'm laughing and crying all at once “It’s okay. You were made for me , too.” *sobs in i-don't-want-it-to-be-over* SO IN CONCLUSION this fic was fucking amazing, i'm crying, i should definitely reread this once i'm more awake, and i'm more traumatised than i thought also i need to learn to be patient and your writing is fucking elite no printer, just fax

Literally Making Love


by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 30K)


Holding up one of the android’s eyes to the workshop’s windows, he smiled as the light picked up the gold flecks in the pale green of his irises. Louis had always paid attention to even the tiniest details.


—


All Louis intended to do was rescue someone in need from loneliness. He had no idea it would be himself.


Thank you @2tiedships2 for the beautiful Louis gif

[fanpersoningfox]

NO. No no no.

I said I'd stay away from the discourse but I've got to contradict this.

Endgame Thor was great.

He was great because he mourned, he was depressed. People deal with trauma in various ways and for some that means giving up on their goals and duties to drink and play fortnite.

The portrayal wasn't perfect, no, there were moments where he was played for laughs, and alcoholism doesn't just disappear from one day to another, it's a real physical addiction.

But it was there, we had the representation and while the audience took to laughing the characters in the movie did not ridicule him even once. They're obviously not professional therapists - which is what he'd have needed - but they make a point of trying to help him.

And to have a character who is chubby and stays chubby even after he regains his badassery was great and long overdue.

Most of the uncomfortable "fat jokes" were actually "you look like shit". These two appear to go hand in hand but people weren't reacting negatively to him being fat but to him looking like he hasn't left his bed in five years - which he hasn't. Again, this becomes clear by the fact that he doesn't loose the weight in the process of getting back to his badassery.

Then, Thor was not more unpleasant in this movie than in the last ones. I personally despise the dynamic he has with Peter Quill, it makes my skin crawl. But it's been a part of his character and we need to differentiate between I don't like this characterization and this is bad characterization.

I do agree that there wasn't enough Loki in Endgame.

And finally, giving over his kingdom to Valkyrie. This was honestly the most brilliant conclusion to a character arc I've ever seen (and it happens in the same movie as Natasha Romanoff sacrificing herself for her best friend and the universe).

There are so, so many stories about heroes growing into their roles, their responsibilities. About feeling unworthy and working their way to greatness. We've seen it all a thousand times. This was new. A plot twist if I've ever seen one, and a good one at that.

Because Thor does regain his power, his badassery, his worthiness. In Ragnarok he realized he's great and worthy even without his hammer. But then in Infinity War he failed. He failed his brother and he failed his people and he failed all of the universe. We see how that affects him. He hides away for years and stops being a hero, a king. And then in Endgame we see him heal. We see him at his worst and we see him get back on his feet from there. He gets Mjolnir back and we see the joy on his face, the realization that he is still worthy.

Plus it's his trademark, honestly, I hated the gladiator look he had going on in Ragnarok, and his Viking style during the final battle of Endgame is the hottest thing I've ever seen, ever. Plus Cap with Mjolnir? That's a whole other character essay I could go into.

And then. The finale. The realization. You don't have to be a hero. You don't have to be a king. You don't have to be who you're supposed to be. You just need to be who you are.

That's a message that's not only new, but also one many people - for example me personally - really needed to hear. First of all Thor himself.

He could have gone back and been the king of asgard. He is capable and worthy of that. He still worries about his people. He doesn't fucking abandon them. He knows that they're in good hands, possibly even better hands than his own. And he knows that what he wants to do, what he has been doing for all the time we've known him, what he's also good at, is being a fucking traveling hero/avenger/adventurer.

And this, him having worked for something for years and then saying "fuck it, I'm leaving this to someone else who's great at it, and I'm going to just go be myself and figure out what that means, outside of the expectations everyone and myself have always had", and this being presented as a valid option, is more character development than him ruling Asgard could have ever been.

It's also something many people - including myself - really really needed to hear. I sobbed in the theatre because giving up what you're supposed to do/be for the sake of doing what you want and being who you are, is fucking hard and seeing it portrayed as a valid option is something I desperately needed to see.

Plus Asgard is now canonly ruled by a bisexual woman of color, how rad is that?

The Russo Brothers completely ruined Thor’s character in endgame simply because they were mad at how Taikia made Thor: Ragnarok progressive in the LGBT community and how he showed that Thor was just as powerful without his hammer, his kingdom, and his people. In this essay I will