#I'm sorry nonnie

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

“No, wait. Stay- Stay back. I need to think rationally.” “...What’s that got to do with me?” for bruce please? 🤲

“I’m weak for you.” Prompts

Sure thing nonnie! This one went a little angstier than intended, sorry 😅 the spirit moved me

Warnings: Angst that ends in fluff; no relation to The Other Half

You were trying not to completely lose your cool, but under normal circumstances, who wouldn’t be freaking the hell out?

“Oh…My god.”

“Okay,” Bruce set the helmet on his kitchen counter, raising his hands, “I know this looks bad.”

“Oh my god."

“I need you to take a deep breath—“

“Oh my god.”

“And relax—”

“Oh my god, are you kidding me?” You screeched, waving your hands to the batsuit. Bruce took another step closer, and you raised your hand to stop him. “Don’t.“

“Let’s sit down,” He took another step, and you shook your head.

“No, wait. Stay—Stay back. I need to think rationally.”

“…What’s that got to do with me?”

You shot Bruce a withering look, eyes darting between him, the suit, and the helmet. The engagement ring on your hand had never felt so heavy before, not even when he put it on your finger. Your hands curled into fists as you lowered them to your sides. Bruce’s expression was indiscernible as you took a few steps closer, then skirted around him, hurrying to the penthouse elevator.

“I’m going to—I need to clear my head,” You flubbed.

“Are you coming back tonight?”

You should’ve said yes, you knew that. This was Bruce, your Bruce, the man that you loved, but…You were suddenly questioning whether you’d ever really known the man at all. You gave a small shake of your head.

“I don’t know.”

You felt like you should apologize for it, but you couldn’t. You stepped onto the elevator, curling your arms around yourself and keeping your gaze studiously on the floor. You saw Bruce come into view just as the doors slid closed, but he made no effort to stop them from closing.

You drew in a shuddering breath as the elevator began to descend, leaning back against the wall and scrubbed your shaking hands over your rapidly heating face. You heaved in tight, nervous breaths, desperately trying to calm yourself. You pushed away from the wall as the elevator doors opened, and nearly slammed directly into someone.

“Oh—!”

“Pardon me, miss.”

You looked up to find Alfred there, his hands steadying you. He searched your face for a moment, his smile wilting.

“…He told you,” He surmised, and your stomach lurched. Of course Alfred knew.

“Not exactly,” You managed. “Excuse me.”

"Can I drive you somewhere?"

"No! No. Thank you."

Alfred gave a small nod as you stepped past him, hurrying out and into the night.

—

You both looked like shit—tired, and drawn, sitting at the opposite ends of the counter as sunlight crept into the kitchen. Neither of you were speaking as Alfred puttered around efficiently, setting mugs of coffee down for both of you before disappearing up the stairs.

“…Where’d you go?” Bruce finally asked.

“You didn’t follow me?”

“You thought I would?”

You nodded. He tipped his head to the side.

“…I considered it,” He admitted.

“Have you followed me before?”

“A couple of times, early on.”

“Why?”

“You weren’t traveling to the safest of places.”

“I was fine.”

“I know.”

“Of course you do,” You muttered.

"So?"

"Hm?"

"Where'd you go?"

"Just to a hotel." You trailed your finger along the side of the coffee mug. You didn’t feel any less flustered than you had the night before. Distance and space had helped level your head a little, but the more you’d thought about your life with Bruce, with who he truly was, your questions had multiplied.

“…Has it been you the entire time?” You asked.

“Yes.”

“You’re not some copycat?”

“No.”

“…How can I trust that?”

“You—“

“How can I trust anything that you say now, Bruce?”

He didn’t answer, or try to justify anything, just hung his head. You were angry, sure, and you were so fucking confused, but you couldn’t just look at that hangdog expression and just sit there like a fucking statue.

You straightened up, crossing to Bruce and curling your arms around his shoulders. Bruce twisted slightly in your grasp, drawing you closer and curling his hands in your sweater. You sighed softly, pressing a kiss to his head as you gently raked your nails over the nape of his neck. The two of you held one another for a few minutes, reveling in one another’s touch.

Bruce leaned away to get a better look at you, grasping your hands. His thumb smoothed over the band of your engagement ring, and you watched relief sweep over him.

“You’re still wearing it,” He murmured.

“Mhm. Someone would have to pry it off of my cold dead—“

“Please don’t say that.”

You bit your lip. Fuck, you didn’t mean it like that.

“Sorry, baby.”

"Mm."

You sighed, grasping his chin and tipping his head up to get a good look at his face.

“…I’m still mad at you.”

“I know.”

“I have a lot of questions.”

“I know.”

You shook your head, sighing.

“Okay,” You turned, looking around. “We’re going to bed, we’re getting some sleep, and when we get up, I’m going to interrogate the fuck out of you.”

"I'm looking forward to it."

Tag list:

@missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight ; @amneris21 ; 

@ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage ;  @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; 

@millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices ; 

@thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; 

@winchestershiresauce ; @lorecraft ; @kmc1989 ; @missswriter ; @nominalnebula

[satoruxx]

who do you think would be more devoted, satoru, suguru or shoko?

oh em gee hi nonnie :333 it's been a milennia since i got a sashisu ask so i'm VERY sorry for the novel !!

well.... i think they all have their moments but most devoted would probably be suguru. AND I WILL EXPLAIN WHY !!!!

i just think suguru tends to be very selfish when it comes to love. not like.. in a bad way... but to him love means that he has already given himself to you completely. he expects it to be understood that his love runs so deep he physically cannot fathom letting you go. suguru has always been extremely loyal to what's his—whether that be his morals or his friends. i think he puts a lot of value into making connections. so for him, when it comes to love, i think he would be very steadfast in it—often finding it difficult to disentangle himself from those emotions. and i feel like that depth is what makes him the most likely to become obsessive over devotion. (like... cult leader suguru would become so fixated on the idea of devoting himself to you that it can start becoming almost parasitic) basically, suguru could absolutely devote himself completely to you, and in a normal relationship that translates into extreme and fierce loyalty. but any kind of toxic or twisted dynamic and that's turning obsessive and probably too emotionally dependent.

satoru is definitely devoted but in a very generous way. he can love you so deeply but be alright with letting you go. to him, that's the biggest act of love he can commit. he sees a lot of drawbacks in letting you be with him, so he would much rather devote himself from afar and let you live a life he probably cannot give you. in other words, his emotional investment in you may not always come across as fully attentive because his perception of dedication can be too focused on what he deems is best. satoru's devotion plays on a fine line between his loyalty to you and his loyalty to his own ideas. he has such a strong connection to his own ideals that once he perceives something, he will always do what he feels is best in that situation. the problem is that might not be the most pleasant thing for you—but if he thinks you're better off with someone else he will let you go. (see i don't think suguru would be able to do that. suguru will never be able to give you up.)

shoko's devotion is the most subtle, but i think it would be the most stable. it might take her a while to get to that stage (i don't think it's as easy for her to fall into obsession compared to the other two) but she will be dedicated to you. shoko may not be the most expressive, but she is the most emotionally grounded. she has always shown consistent loyalty to things she values, so i think her devotion to you would be dependable and pretty nurturing. i also think she has a very mature perspective on her relationship with you, and she'd be more concerned with creating and maintaining that bond. so basically... i think she'd be the most consistently devoted if that makes sense.

so yeah, suguru is the most intensely devoted, but his devotion is easy to become entangled with other emotions. satoru is devoted, but it's more external. he tends to do things for you that he feels is right. and shoko is the devoted in the most stable way.

[elkkiel]

random thought i had earlier but vessel is absolutely the kind of man who would have a song with ten million geometry references and the breakdown of it is just him fucking shit up on a triangle. to me

correct. like. bro made alkaline the 7th song on Tomb specifically to make a pH joke. he's nothing if not the biggest dweeb in modern metal

[c-nstellati-ns]

Nolan needs his pussy pounded fr fr

literally... while he does love debbie dearly, nolan hasn't been able to indulge in his fantasies in such a long time.

being a viltrumite means that he has certain wants and needs that just aren't being properly fulfilled. he's grown extremely irritable because of it and it's becoming a problem now. debbie is worried and mark is starting to get put off by it, so of course he has to take all these frustrations out somewhere right? why not fight all that irritation away?

no one one would miss a few unruly criminals, right? the blood on his hands, adrenaline pumping through his veins...

so how did he end up here?

how did nolan end up pressed up against the floor like this, hands pinned above his head-- being fucked silly by a man he thought was just some human he would get rid of quicker than he could even blink? what was this?

nolan could barely think, much less try to struggle against your overwhelming strength. he could feel you so deep in his cunt, it was driving him crazy. he lets out a choked sob when your tip kisses his cervix and his legs tighten around you as if he wants you to keep sucking you in.

when you slow your hips into an agonisingly slow grind, nolan's tear filled eyes finally crack open (he wasn't even aware that he had closed them in the first place). you lean in and kiss at his collar,

"one of earth's greatest heroes, are you..." you mutter against his skin, licking, sucking hickeys all over his exposed skin. his suit completely torn from his muscled frame, bruises littering the places where you grabbed him so roughly at it.

you were going to have fun with him.

[heeliopheelia]

CARLY WHAT ARE HYUNG LINE'S FAV POSITIONS IN BED?? 👁️👄👁️

hiii!! okay i actually had to do some thinking in here but there it is:

HEESEUNG

look i don't make rules but cowgirl with hee just sounds right yk? he just loves when you ride him!! it's perfect bcs he lets you control the pace at the beginning then finishes fucking you however he wants to when your legs finally give out from all the hassle 💯 and when you start clinging to him and press your tits to his chest - consider my man gone

prone bone okay i put this one in here bcs i can SO see him going absolutely feral at the feeling of how tight you are in this position, all sprawled out beneath him and completely left to his mercy 🫠 it's also a lot easier to hit your g-spot this way so you can't complain either ☝️

JAY

he's a giver alright, so even if technically it's not a position, he looooves face sitting a lot!! he just wants you to nearly suffocate him, so even if you try to not put all of your weight on him in concern for his health, he will literally grab your thighs and force you onto his face whether you want it or not... just take what he gives you, silly!! 😠 he's only fully satisfied when his face is completely burried in your pussy and he's DRENCHED in your juices 😽

look he's a simple man so - missionary. it gives him the best view at your face scrunching up or eyes rolling back as he fucks into you so well 🧎 it's also so intimate and jay is a very loving guy so he thrives off of miantaining eye contact with you, always looking for some subtle changes in your expression if you ever feel uncomfortable (mom i love him) 🫶

JAKE

i've already said it once but i'll say it again: jake is an avid doggy enthusiast 🗣️my man can't help it okay? he just loves your ass a little too much to pass the opportunity to get to look at it from a front row seat 😩 also likes to push down on your spine to make you arch more or pull your hair if you're into this kinda stuff 🥴

and another one i've mentioned before - reverse cowgirl!! also has a lot to do with the fact that it gets him the best access to your behind, sorry🤷but what really makes him love this position is how easily he can watch his dick slide in and out of you + he gets to grope your ass as much as he wants to so it's a win win for him really 👀

SUNGHOON

spooning which is often a result of cockwarming. whenever he has a tiring day at work, there's nothing more he loves than chilling with you on a couch and holding your body extremely close to his. it's so relaxing too!! he can go slower and deeper in this position than usually and more times than not it ends up with you milking him dry from all he has 🙆

full nelson - gosh i feel so hot all of sudden 💃 there goes me with my hard dom hoon agenda AND IT'S A PERFECT POSITION TO GO ALONG WITH IT 🗣️ like just imagine those big hands of his holding up your thighs as he bullies his cock into you from under you 🧍 he can also force the filthiest sounds out of you so easily like that!! WILL also choke you if you wanna, i-... i'll stop right here in consideration of my own mental health but you got the picture, right?

[thelonelyshore-if]

How would each ro act after the first morning after waking up next to mc?

I was so thoroughly obsessed with this prompt that I just kept writing as I was working on Beck's answer. And then I realized I wanted to just like...write drabbles for each of the ROs. So I'm going to do that. Sorry that it isn't all at once, Nonnie, but I love this prompt and wanted to really write something out for each. I hope you still enjoy! <3

Beck- drabble here!

Croft- drabble here!

Jay- wip

Perri- wip

Ravi- wip

Yasmin- wip

[delzinrowe]

REGGIE ROWE // inFAMOUS: Second Son (2014) dev. Sucker Punch Productions

[daincrediblegg]

I need all the lore about Lamb and Standish too. When did they become so dependent on each other? Did they ever get drunk together back in the day? Did they ever sleep together? We know he cares about her a lot and feels guilty AND protective over her since Partner, but does he actually love her and is he in denial about this? I have so many questions

OK OK OK SO. I just finished the first book (woohoo) and. I am honestly so thrilled to say that what little lore we got from the first book at least aligned a lot with some of the stuff that I had come to my own conclusions about from having watched the show... way too many times now. And I have to say- real credit to Saskia and Gary and Will Smith for putting it together in the show the way they did because man. I feel like they give us so many subtextual clues and they really capitalize on each and every one of them that it makes doing my job as a film scholar just super fun.

Anways- on the Standish and Lamb situation? I have lots of thoughts. Most of which I wrote down last night in a complete stupor because this is what keeps me up at night thinking about this character dynamic. So buckle up. We're gonna ramble our way through my own thoughts and ideas about all this.

Like to start, to me it seems that they really never had much contact at all back in the day, and that makes sense: considering Jackson's mostly in Berlin playing Moscow rules in the field while Standish is at home holding the fort for Charles, there's not a lot of overlap with each other physically but they did know each other as much as they needed to know at the time: Standish was Partner's drunk PA, and Lamb was the Joe of All Joes (can I make it any more obvious?). What little contact they may have ever had was certainly mostly through Charles, and the show gives us some insight to that giving us that little flashback that Catherine has where she seemingly meets Lamb for the first time after "Berlin's blown" (which could mean either the wall came down as Lamb says to Catherine in his half-confession, or that he's referring to the incident that he describes to Katinsky in season 2, and of these two options, my money is on the latter). That looks like a woman being very confused meeting someone she's never really seen before in her life to me (or perhaps has seen while drunk at one time, but doesn't much remember).

I mean most of the rest I feel like I can glean from the incidents themselves. Both of them getting relegated to Slough House after Charles' death seems natural- Catherine with her near miss of a treason charge and Lamb with the fact that he literally assassinated First Fucking Desk of MI5. And it's easy to see how the co-dependency came from there. Catherine as an alcoholic going through AA specifically, seems to revolve around structure to keep herself in check- the way she talks about Charles Partner in Season 2 helps with this. The fact that he payed for her treatment and in return- probably partially because of this need for structure- she latched onto her job as a way to compensate so that she doesn't end up in the same dark place again. So, then being Lamb's secretary, it's still the same kind of structure that she needs, even though this time it doesn't feel as rosy as it might have done with Partner.

- And this is a point that I think about a lot. She does view her whole relationship with Partner with rose colored glasses, even though if you listen to what she's actually saying in those flashbacks from season 1, she's done his laundry, is planning his outfits, put out his flowers- she was doing nothing more than some kind of glorified paid house wife kind of shit for him (and in FACT! I was fooled my first go around season 1 like I genuinely thought that she was deadass his WIFE or something. I think that misconception on my part says a LOT). And Lamb in parallel to that is a great come down from that mountaintop-that she sees herself and Partner as this idylic Q and Money Penny type of thing that she's romanticized in her head for the last 20 years- an illusion that Lamb on every level shatters and is - at least to his credit- honest about. As much as he inconveniences her and as much as he's his raw unfiltered self around her (which- he certainly is more of that around Standish than anyone else he knows. River gets a lot of brutal honesty from Jackson, but none to do with emotional sincerity- like the way Lamb tells Standish the half-truth of Partner's death, and why he *chose* slough house), as much as he's a bully he's still doesn't give her any illusion of what their relationship is or isn't, and no one would see that as a mark of respect on account of him being an "utter bastard", but is all of that really worse than Charles pretending to be her best friend and all the while planning to have her take the fall for him behind her back? (Personally? It's a different kind of bad but Charles is definitely the worst). And it's extra funny situationally because then all of the things she says about how Partner treated her is much more close to the mark to what Lamb did for her, and things that weren't superficial either. "I know that unlike you, he respected me" ("christ, Standish was right", always updates her on what he knows when appropriate and always has her sit in on debriefs when it's safe), "he showed me friendship"(he always pours out a drink for her that he ends up drinking himself, always when things are going to come down on her deals with it *himself* rather than relegate it to the fuck-ups, always has her up to date on things -unless it means blowing cover), "and he believed in me" (he gave HER the gun and let her delegate the hijacking of the MI5 car from Duffy and Webb, let HER do the cool agent stuff, also lets her do some of the investigative work- especially in season 2 when he doesn't interrupt her at ALL when she keeps up with the camera trail on- but also knows her limits, especially in the house of hell where he stuffs her in a closet knowing she can't be of more use because *he* knew he could kill Hobbs, but "now I won't shoot you dead, Mr. Webb,"), "and he kept me on, when anyone else would have thrown me to the wolves."(which is exactly what he did when Partner died, and all the information came out that Partner was going to peg it on her. It wouldn't surprise me if he took the hit for that too in some way. If him getting her treason charge dropped might also be part of why he ended up in Slough House - which if the op was sanctioned initially by David Cartwright might hold some weight. Maybe that was David cleaning up and covering arse like Taverner would do. Maybe Catherine *was* supposed to take the fall, but Jackson refused to let that happen? But that's just a theory. A Slough House Theory).

But the bigger question in this is of course: why? Why on god's green earth does Jackson Lamb give a shit, and why is he so dependent on Standish?

The solution to this feels multi-pronged. First: I think that he has a bit of a chip on his shoulder about innocent people getting caught in the cross-fire of the things that MI-5 get up to, and Catherine fits that bill better than anybody he knows. In season 2 when he talks about the women agents whose deaths he was directly responsible for, he describes it as something he "wishes [he] could unsee"- which for Lamb is saying a lot, considering that to most things (heads on tables, faces blown off with shotguns) he doesn't bat an eye, and even says he's seen worse. What happened to those women and the fact that what he said made that happen I think affected him more deeply than he lets on in that scene, because even though Charles Partner didn't know who they were at all outside of a codename, Jackson did, and probably knew them very well. And Charles as their shadowy overlord who was just moving them like pieces on a chessboard never had to pay the emotional price for that, nor did David Cartwright. But Lamb did. Because as much as he denies it to keep people looking the other way, Lamb does have a heart, and it's hard to earn but it's not impossible.

And he always does take the emotional fall for things! He says in season 4 that he "had a heart until he worked for [David Cartwright]" whom he also said "gave [him] a job once". The way those lines conflict in tone but also reveal a lot about how he views his own fall from grace says so much. David Cartwright got him into this business, but under his direction he hardened for it (something that I think connects him to River more than that boy will ever understand. Also is what makes Lamb a better mentor than Peepaw Cartwright, but that's another story) not to mention that for all intents and purposes, Lamb and Partner were actually good friends, and that this betrayal and the fact that he had to do it himself (even though maybe his feelings were mixed on the matter- that maybe he even loved Partner too in a similar way that Standish did at one point in time, but the lives lost from his betrayal weighed on Lamb more- and as we all know, from Catherine's own mouth, he'll do anything to get even for his Joes).

Which brings me to my second point: Jackson Lamb wants to be the hero just as much as his protege River Cartwright does, but the reality of their whole line of work is that there are very few instances in which anyone gets to be, but Catherine is one of the rare exceptions where he did, and all told, it doesn't feel good. Because there's a couple things at play here right? On the one hand yeah- he did save her from being thrown to the wolves after Partner died and framed her for his crimes! Yes he kept her from facing a treason charge, yes he covers her arse time and time again. But she still is the person who had to find the body. And as we know with Lamb, he knows how bad it is to have found the body better than anyone (I mean- I point to how he reacts to Min's death, and then to Bad Sam's in season 4- so enraged he storms out but also so depressed he steals his last bottle of booze). He didn't get to spare her from that, but he is trying to spare her from the rest of it too(an impulse he couldn't help but let go in the last episode of season 3- while still not incriminating himself, mind you), and that's hard! Because he's not supposed to have a heart ("What goodness? What heart?", "Oh have a heart, Jackson!") but he DOES! And he's taken it upon himself to break it time and time again just so he can keep himself at the top of his game- even though, and here's the secret: it's his heart that makes him the best at what he does! Because he does get involved! "I think your attention has been split between finding [Hassan Ahmed] and burning me!"- he does on some level actually give a shit about lives lost! Something Lady Di and Tearney and Duffy and even Cartwright Sr. don't consider when THEY play the game. And he cares about the kind of people that have everything to lose from the actions of the people at the top! And he'll martyr himself about it over and over again because he's got the skill better than anyone to do it and he knows it! And to make sure Standish stays right where she is- out of harms way- he'll fucking go to the ends of... idk England. Probably. To make sure she stays out of harms way where she belongs. And as a thread running co-current to that: I think he understands how much having found Partner's body haunts her every waking moment more than she knows- from his own experience, though he's definitely got a higher body count. They all weigh on him just the same ("By the time I was your age, I'd lost a baker's dozen. It was bad enough when the wall was up, but once they reduced it to bricks and rubble, everything went to shit. Whole networks of Joes, rounded up, blown. I haven't forgotten any of them. And I won't forget Sid.")

And then, on the other side of the dice, I think there's also a bit of a self-torture mixed with sadism that's a part of why he keeps her around too. I mean in a lot of ways it seems that it is absolute torture to him to keep Catherine around, considering she's always harping on about cHaRlEs PaRtNeR (who as we have established- it grates on Jackson that in Catherine's mind Partner is a knight in shining armor when really *he* did all of that way more than Partner ever did for her- though I don't even think Lamb would give himself the credit for that he can't stand that she sees him that way when he was disenchanted and knew all these horrible truths about what he did to his own people for money), and part of that co-dependency is (and I hate to say it) is that he needs to torture SOMEONE other than himself externally for his own friendship with Partner and literally Catherine is the only person with a shred of shared history that he can really do that to. And at the same time, she gets to do it to him. He gets to let her torture him also just a little bit ("What did your last servant die of?" "What did your last boss die of?"). He thrives off of that push and pull of torturing others while actually torturing himself. It's his own fucked up emotional bdsm basically.

Now of course to the biggest question of all: Is it love? Who's to say? Can Lamb ever cut the bullshit and admit to himself that his feelings about the whole Partner situation haunt him like his own shadow? Forever attached to his being? Can Standish ever see beyond her rose-colored glasses about Partner and give Jackson some forgiveness before he farts himself into an early grave for it? I don't know but they're on the fucking clock and I tend to swing back and forth like a pendulum on the notion (like I wouldn't say I ship them, but I wouldn't say that I don't either. Secret third thing: they're just really narratively fucking interesting and that gets me off just as well as anything else so? Yeah I guess).

[tideswept]

Anakin really IS the prettiest of pretty boys. And when his obliviousness isn't enough to stop admirers from making a move on him, for sure, Obi-Wan is there to deal with them himself. Maybe he used to think it was funny, and would even use it to his advantage in negotiations, but when he starts getting requests from politicians and princes asking for some time with his pretty Padawan... bad enough he has to let Anakin meet with Palpatine!

Dearest nonnie;

I would like to slide over [1] piece of cheesecake with a handwritten love note as a napkin, I adore this so much. ♥

but fr fr how could this not have actually happened in canon? FETCH ME THE BOOKS. I bet Anakin was kind of all gangly and not much to look at and then something just snapped into place over the span of a single month and Obi-Wan didn't notice because it's still just Anakin, after all, why would he notice? He's too close to see the forest for the trees. Maybe if he'd had a little more time it wouldn't have caught him so off-guard, but the next time they're around other people, Anakin is getting stared at, and he can't figure out why, not until a waitress accidentally dumps hot tea all over the table because she can't keep her eyes off his padawan.

And now Obi-Wan is thinking shit, because he didn't really prepare for this, he's been operating on one-Anakin-related-catastrophe at a time, he didn't have an opportunity to consider the whole what if my padawan turns out to be ridiculously pretty? potential issue.

And who is he going to ask for guidance on how to deal with this? The Council? Stars, no.

Then it just keeps getting worse year by year, and he's so thankful that Anakin decided to follow him and use the same terrible hairstyle which at least cuts down on some of the leering, and he tries not to feel too bad about dangling Anakin like bait a few times, it's not like he'll actually let anyone put a finger (or tentacle or antenna or claw) on him. It's just another tool at the Negotiator's disposal.

He's got this under control. Absolutely not an issue.

(It's an issue.)

[harmonysanreads]

Beloved, how did your blog turn into a Powerpoint slideshow on Amphoreus men?

... :')

My limited wisdom as a mortal tells me this is more of a case of the heart than the head. At least when this blog focused on Aventurine/Sunday/Ratio, I was capable of being objective. But this time, I'm actually simping simping so... yes.

[tonycries]

Daddy I haven't gotten my period this month 😨 (I'm scared)

(Also can I be 🫀 anon? If it's not taken 😩)

[luna-rainbow]

Do you think Bucky ever got any sleep during all his years of Hydra captivity? Or was it just wipe/kill/back in the freezer? I don't think cryostasis would be anything like normal restorative REM sleep.

Hello nonnie!! I have finally had a light-bulb moment for this ask (I'm sorry it's taken me like 7 months)

I've been going about it the wrong way, trying to research on sleep, when in actuality what I should have been researching is the brain under hypothermia. This is an observational study conducted in the 1980s looking at children undergoing induced hypothermia (lowering of body temperature) during cardiopulmonary bypass (sometimes required during major surgery). In summary, by the time the body temperature cooled to 18 degrees, all brain activity ceased. Sleep - consisting of non-REM and particularly REM - are associated with far more active brain waves. So nonnie, you are very correct in saying that Bucky, even with his super soldier abilities, unlikely ever got any "sleep" during cryostasis. (I'm sorry to all the ficcers that wrote Bucky dreaming during cryo but I think most people are happy to ignore this piece of science)

In terms of whether Bucky ever got "sleep", I think that is hard to say. Even normal soldiers might drive themselves to go without sleep for 36+ hours if required for a mission (heck, even hospital shifts go for 36 hours in some places). As a super soldier, Bucky might tolerate sleep deprivation for longer. This means missions like taking out the Starks - travelling from Russian and back - he might achieve in one sitting without sleeping in between (although I guess no one can stop him from dozing off on the plane).

I think one implied part of your question is "is it likely that Bucky was allowed out of the freezer for long enough periods at a time to need (and get) sleep"? I feel like that is unlikely, judging from the "he's been out of cryo for too long" line from CATWS. The timeline goes: day 1 Bucky makes assassination attempts daytime + night time against Fury / day 2 Steve makes a run down to Jersey arriving there at night / day 3 Bucky attacks Steve on the causeway and then we get the nighttime vault scene where Bucky is "unstable". Even if we add a day or two prior to allow for prepping, that still means Bucky becomes "unstable" and questions his identity within a bare week of being out of cryo.

Credit @lost-shoe (this post)

Now onto the angst...we know anaesthetics is not like restful sleep, so theoretically neither is cryostasis. While the science of cryostasis doesn't exist at the moment, we know from artificial hypothermia in surgical situations that it puts incredible stress on the body and all its organs. Looking at the laboratory derangements during hypothermia it looks like it pushes the body over to anaerobic metabolism and causes lactate to go up. You know when you go for a run and your muscles cramp up because you haven't warmed up enough? That's because your muscles have produced too much lactate from anaerobic metabolism. So...no wonder Bucky can't stand when he comes out of the cryo chamber. It also increases one's bleeding risk and reduces one's healing speed, so take of that what you will for your Whumptober prompts 😂

I also wonder whether, because the brain is not receiving any REM sleep during cryo, it means Bucky has been in a constant state of sleep deprivation for the last 70 years. The theory of "prefrontal vulnerability" in sleep deprivation proposes that functions like language, executive functions, divergent thinking, and creativity are particularly affected, so that can contribute to Bucky's inability to process/produce complex language and his slowness when it comes to working through complex problems. It also has significant effect on memory and attention: it's interesting to note that during sleep deprivation of more than 35 hours, they found that while free recall was affected, recognition was not. (Disclaimer for science: small sample size, opposite result for subjects with sleep deprivation ~24 h).

So yeah, I think there are practical reasons why Hydra would not allow Bucky to have restorative sleep between missions. Consolidation of long term memory (i.e. transferring them from short term storage into long term storage) usually happens during sleep which means it is quite likely Bucky remembers only broken bits of his time (if at all) in the last 7 decades.

[yandere-yearnings]

i vaguely recall getting an ask once that went smth along the lines of 'dar you can't tell me sun WASN'T a little angel as a teen' and i think it was in response to the backstory spoilers?? ik i was gonna respond by saying he definitely didn't look like he could hurt a fly but i never actually did😭 i found this and i think it was meant to go along w/ the reply

i don't actually remember doing this tho?? i was probably high bc i even forgot his beauty marks, but i'd probably forget them even if i wasnt tbh🤡 anyway, teen sun for you guys, pls imagine the moles and fix the way off proportions in your heads bc i'm too lazy to try and edit anything🤧💔

[peace-hunter]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well!!

I have just realised that we hardly ask you anything in terms of lore so I was wondering do you have any headcanons for the ghost au that you are looking forward to draw? Or is there something an anon has sent in that has brought you immense joy regarding the au?

Thank you for the time you put in for the artwork! Don’t apologise for how long you take, your enjoyment of creating this au comes first!

AAAAHHHH that's so kind of you nonnie o(TヘTo)!!

truth is i do have quite a bit of asks asking about the lore of the haunted au! which i'm so very thankful for and looking forward to replying to them! but i'm very slow and it's taking me way too much time to get to them OTL

as it is i have several pieces on the back burner that i hope you guys will like! i absolutely adore every single ask i get so i can't really choose one in particular but you guys are so much funnier than me about my own au sometimes i can only hope i do justice to the things you send me akjshdjksad

there is one (1) joke i am excited to finish drawing and it's so dumb and not even that funny but it makes me laugh so you're gonna have to suffer through it i apologize in advance (/▽＼)

[mncxbe]

dentist!dazai who tells you not to eat anything for one hour after your checkup and you're just innocently looking down at his dick, pouting so cutely as your eyes already tell him everything. that's how you landed in dazais office as he told you to open and you took his dick so nice and well and sucked on it like a good girl, ofc you also swallowed all his cum because technically it's not chewing and it's not real food, righttttt?

🪷 anon

oops i suddenly need to go to the dentist too–

no because Dazai would be so easy to rile up. one look at your lustful expression is enough to get him hard as a rock. "you're such a nasty girl" he coos, lowering his briefs to let you suck on his dick. your mouth feels divine, plump lips wrapped around his tip as you hollow out your cheeks.

it doesn't take him long to cum and he shoots his creamy load down your throat, chuckling when you choke on his seed and shoot him a nasty glare "now, don't be a little bitch about it. i know you love the taste"

[thelonelyshore-if]

Hey ! sorry if you've already answered that but do you know how many chapters you think the lonely shore will be ? Hows the writing going btw ? Love your work and how active you are with the community, makes it very fun !

Howdy!!

My outline puts us at around 13 chapters, though with the amount I shift things around we'll see if it remains that way! Could end up being slightly more, could end up being slightly less.

Writing has...had its ups and downs, in all honestly. I've mentioned it before but I've been dealing with some pretty severe writer's block; mostly out of dissatisfaction with the chapter, I think?

Not that I haven't been writing. I think I have close to 30k written for this chapter in total...but we'll see how much of that I can salvage. It's much less than I would have wanted to have at this point.

Sorry to be a bit of a downer 😭 The good news is, with my recent plot switch I've found a lot of motivation. On top of that, I've made it a personal goal to start writing every day again, with or without said motivation.

So far I'm 3 days in and have written over 1k each time! Idk if that sounds like a lot, but compared to this slump I've been in it has felt fantastic.

All that to say, thank you for your kind words! I really appreciate them.

Y'all make the community fun to engage with! I can't exactly work on the story when I'm at work, but I can answer an ask or two, and it always helps keep my brain rolling about tls!!

I'm very grateful for everyone who's been following the story--you're all amazing, and y'alls enthusiasm helps remind me that I love this story, too, even when it feels impossible <3