#I'm so pissed off and yet I can only express it as if lukewarm instead of fuming. Whatever. fuck this shit. fuck everything. 19 pizza rolls.
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I love trauma! I love being traumatized!
#sepiasys.txt#I love that B has basically just reconfirmed(?) that he has made himself a father figure to me!!#(is tired and annoyed/pissed off)#Things were fine when we went out but then it came time to get stuff to buy from target and yeah that was a trigger ig idfk#fucking awful experience. tempting to never go outside again despite knowing WE DO LIKE OUTSIDE!!#Motherfucker says he's responsible for us; not the first time.#coming to the conclusion that he basically acts like a parent to me felt like it was a completely new realization; but also like I should've#already come to this realization? Completely unfamiliar but logically makes sense enough that I should've already known.#So anyways I DON'T WANT A PARENT I WANT A FRIEND??#Specifically I want someone who is fine with us going in two different directions and meeting back up. He doesn't like when I'm separated :/#Bro got me feeling like a little kid again which was so fucking unpleasant. I felt too tall in the store.#On the walk home in familiar territory was fine ig. I want to punch him. but I've already fucking hurt him enough. whatever.#He told me that my saying this felt similar to back home hurt him. like it was rude/mean. That pissed me off more.#Like yeah I'm not considerate half the time of how others might feel; I dont think about it. BUT DUDE I AM/WAS LITERALLY HAVING AN AWFUL#TIME HERE AND YOU INTERPRET ME EXPRESSING MY PAIN AS BEING RUDE TO YOU!?#Like fuck I get you are the reason I'm here and I'm grateful for it; still rather be here than home; BUT ARE YOU FUCKING FR? ARE YOU KIDDING#Motherfucker saying he just wants to protect me and shit and thats not the first time either but THAT FEELS OVERPROTECTIVE AT A POINT DUDE#I know I'm traumatized and ik you are too but like fuck dude my needs and your needs do not fucking align if thats the case FUCK#I'm so pissed off and yet I can only express it as if lukewarm instead of fuming. Whatever. fuck this shit. fuck everything. 19 pizza rolls.
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