#I'm so old I still remember when it was common fandom etiquette to NOT tag the thing you were insulting without the word 'anti' before it.

[chat-dank]

You have the right to like your Angbang intense. You have the right to like your Angbang fucked up. You have the right to like your Angbang unhinged. You have the right to like your Angbang harmful. But you also have a right to like your Angbang fluffy, too. You are not woobifying them if you like it soft or write a fic where they say they love each other or kiss or high five or take a bite from the same sandwich or whatever. You have a different interpretation, that’s all. You’re not committing some horrid unforgivable atrocity against your fandom. You’re not an “annoying fan” if you want your ships happy, even if other people dislike you for it, the same way you are not an “annoying fan” if you like your ships intense and other people dislike you for it. You’re not a mean person for having an opinion that the majority dislikes. You’re an individual human being who has an opinion and your opinion is worth JUST as much as every other opinion in your fandom. Because that’s how opinions work. You’re not disregarding canon any more than people who bend it to fit their other non-canon ships or headcanons or other interpretations of this ship or their interpretation of any other ship or anything else that JRRT or Christopher or the Tolkien estate disagree with. We all see a piece of media and interpret it differently. It doesn’t make any of us better or worse for it. Ship and let ship. 

[kalinara]

There is no position that gives me a headache more than anti-anti fans.

Look, I get that "anti-fandoms" are annoying.

It is ANNOYING to post things about ships and characters and have people make assumptions about you based on your feelings about fictional characters.

I've had it happen to me. Hilariously, it wasn't even about one of my actual problematic ships, but because I had a "meh" reaction to the idea of pairing characters from the Umbrella Academy of all things.

But, I'll disclaim right now, I have plenty of ships that an "anti" could confront me about. There's a reason I don't always stay logged in when I peruse AO3. No one needs to review my fic reading history, including me.

So yeah, I get that it's annoying. And some folks take it too far. There's no excuse for threats or insults. Personally, I don't think this behavior is limited to antis, but as mentioned, I've seen some do it.

But I will always have a knee jerk disgust toward people who act like the very act of criticizing a ship or the reception of a character is the same damn thing.

There's some Bat-shipping post going around that equates people being disgusted by Bat-shipping to homophobia and real world oppression. And no, sorry. That's not the same thing.

I think you can definitely make the argument that moral panic can lead to some terrible decisions, particularly legislatively. Frederic Wortham decided that Batman and Robin were in a pedophiliac relationship, after all, and eventually we all got saddled with the comic code.

But, you know, we can still point out that IF Batman and Robin were in a relationship, while Robin was canonically 12 years old, in a comic book intended for children, that would have been categorically NOT OKAY.

Fans love to try to sidestep any criticism by equating their critics with some kind of censorship boogeyman. As though the average fandom critic has any kind of ability to legislate a form of media. Heck, disgusted fans can't even get AO3 to set limits on blatant extreme underage shit.*

(* Disclaimer: I respect AO3's very consistent position on content bans and censorship. I may not personally agree with every decision that they make, but I respect that it's their right to make it. My point is that the average "anti" has no real influence or power here.)

Here's the thing. If you ship something gross. More power to you. I do too. But you also have to deal with the fact that someone out there is going to say "Hey, that's gross." They may not be talking to you directly. Common fandom etiquette means that they probably shouldn't (unless you're invading the anti-tags, in which case, you're asking for it). But they're allowed to have opinions and say them. Free speech works both ways.

The older I get, the more protective I find myself of the right of people to be negative about things. "Don't yuck someone's yum?" I can yuck if I damn well want. I just need to remember that it's not your problem.

My own position is that fandom goes too far to protect the enjoyment of their largest groups, to the point where anything that could possibly cast a pall on said enjoyment is quickly shushed. We can't point out that a ship involves abusive tropes, because this is fiction. We can't grimace at the thought of an incestuous relationship, because that's judgmental. We can't point out hopefully-unconscious examples of racism and sexism because that would make someone feel bad and discourage them from writing.

I still remember how slash fanfic writers started bemoaning about how they can't possibly write FinnPoe anymore because they keep getting called out for racist tropes. The idea of actually making an effort to IMPROVE somehow never seemed to make it into the discussion.

Here's the thing. If I don't like a pairing, I'm going to say so. If I don't like a character (or maybe more accurately, fandom's treatment of said character), I'm going to say so. If I don't like a trope, for whatever reason, I'm going to say so. It's not my job to muzzle my own opinions to make random people on the internet feel better about how they get their rocks off. Why do you care what I think anyway?

Again, harassment's bad. But I think a lot of "anti-antis" are quick to equate "having a negative opinion that makes me feel bad" with an attack. Not the same thing and we all might be a lot happier if we kept that in mind.