#I'm scared to go to sleep because I don't want tk wake up to another one happeing

[fitzselfships]

*pointing* SILLY

[tarlos-spain]

Comfortember Day 7 - Insecurity

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Pairing: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand

Characters: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand

The exam

Tommy has proposed TK to take an exam for a promotion but TK has never taken an exam and now he is terrified

It was late when Carlos got home, he looked at the time, it was past midnight, so TK was probably asleep by now. However, when he opened the door, he found the lights on and the coffee pot running.

"Babe? You're still awake?" He said as he kicked off his boots, hung his jacket on the coat rack by the door and set his backpack aside. TK didn't answer him. "You've worked a twelve hour shift and starting tomorrow the sale season begins."

He smiled, he knew what the next few days were going to look like every year and he already felt embarrassed.

But when TK didn't answer her either, she started to worry.

But there was no reason to. her boyfriend was on the couch, the coffee table was full of books and she had both her computer and Carlos' computer there. On the couch he had papers all over the place and when Carlos approached him, she realized he was mumbling something.

"Ty, are you okay?"

TK gasped and looked up.

It didn't take any genius or knowing TK like Carlos knew him, to know he was nervous or scared to death; he wasn't sure what had happened to leave him in that state, whatever it was.

"I didn't hear you come in." "I just came in, I thought you'd sleep. You must be exhausted after the long shift you worked today." "I tried and then I realized I only have two weeks left before the exam and I still have two topics to study and I'm not sure I have the previous ones under control. So I've started studying and I haven't remembered one thing, then another and then I've realized I don't really have anything in my head."

Carlos walked over to the couch, he had to empty it a bit in order to sit down, and wrapped his arms around TK's waist to pull him even closer to him. He kissed his cheek and took the papers he was holding from him.

"How many coffees have you had already?" "Since I've been home or during the day today?" "Baby...don't scare me."

TK smiled.

"I haven't had time to drink many coffees during the shift, but I haven't had time to study either, so when I've come in, I've had three, no four in a row to wake me up and be ready to study."

"TK, I don't need to tell you how dangerous caffeine can be in high doses." TK nodded with the "I know all too well, babe." expression and Carlos burst out laughing. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that." "It's okay, you're worried about me and I love that." "It's just, ever since Tommy suggested you take the exam to upgrade to paramedic, you've been nervous and I've really never seen you like this."

TK ran a hand over his head, one of the nervous gestures Carlos knew him well. Carlos' response was the one that always comforted TK, his hand on his back, stroking him, up and down, and his kiss on his neck.

"I'm afraid of failing." "You're not going to fail and if you fail nothing happens, you prepare, I'll give you whatever hands it takes. That's why don't worry." "I've never taken any real exams."

It was not the answer Carlos had expected to hear.

TK had always told him how convinced he had been all his life about how important being a firefighter was to him, for following in his father's footsteps. How he had later found his calling to be a paramedic.

From the very moment he had met him, Carlos had seen a great firefighter in TK, someone who was born for it and had imagined that, in a way, the exams and tests were without, if not easy, at least something that in a way, he was born for.

"No one gave me the gift of being a firefighter, nor the position with my father. But...it was my father who asked me if I wanted to be in the same firehouse as him and when I decided to be a paramedic, I put my resume in and there was no interview, Tommy accepted me because he knew me, because he knew how I worked."

When at first, Tommy had told him he should sit for the exam, TK had been excited, he was looking forward to moving up, going far, a promotion brought him a little closer to the kind of man he imagined himself to be.

Then they'd had that lunch with other firehouses and word had spread early about vacancies in the city's fire department and paramedics. TK hated people who overheard other people's conversations but he hated much more those who made comments about it.

When someone arrived, a firefighter whom TK had seen several times on the job, on some more complicated calls, but didn't know the name of, approached him and said in a jocular tone:

"Let's see how you do this time at taking a real test Strand; now you won't be the daddy's boy who always has it easy."

When he heard that, what little self-confidence TK had about the exam disappeared and a gaping hole was set in front of him. The thought of disappointing his father, of showing him that he didn't really have what it took to be a firefighter and had only gotten where he was because of his name, put a knot in his stomach.

As Carlos listened to him say that, he continued to massage his back and noticed that he was getting more and more tense.

"I don't think I should take that test." "Baby, I said I know you and that's why I know you're going to succeed on that exam so the we're going to study these two weeks in spare time." "Shall we?" "I already told you, I'm going to give you a hand. I've passed my exams, not for firefighter, not paramedic, but I had to prepare my oppositions and I have my tricks, I still remember and I can teach them to you."

TK hugged him tightly and so suddenly that Carlos was speechless, he forgot what he was saying. He pulled him into his arms and kissed his cheek repeatedly to comfort him.

He heard him sobbing, TK wasn't crying, but he was so nervous and agitated, whether it was because of the coffee he'd had, the anxiety of the exam or just because he was tired, he snuggled into Carlos' arms.

"How about we go to sleep now? You rest, get all that caffeine out, and tomorrow when we both have tomorrow off, we'll prepare for the exam." "I'm dead sleepy." TK whispered, not moving. "I know. Come on tiger, the bed is waiting for you, I'll leave all this here and tomorrow we'll pick it up again."

Carlos stood up and pulled TK with him, he circled his waist and didn't have to push him much to get him to follow him up the stairs, into the bedroom. The coffee in the pot was cold, but TK forgot about it, being in bed with Carlos, it was better than anything.