#I'm reblogging specifically because this tale should be told

[hyperpotamianarch]

All right, you know what? My Jewish Fantasy/Disney Princess thread is a little long now, so I'm putting the story of the daughter of Shəlomo HaMelech here, in its own post. To attract traffic I'm sorry, be nice sorry again, to keep people in the conversation, I will tag the people who were a part of this particular reblog chain. I hope this will interest you, at worst you can just ignore another notification. @wanderingmadscientist, @alyssumlovesthecosmere, and @springstarfangirl. Sorry again.

So, this didn't really take a lot of digging, but it appears that my book Kol Agadot Yisra'el wasn't lying about the existence of this story! The source is, as mentioned in the post linked, in the preface to the Buber publication of Midrash Tanḥuma. Now, I've the Buber Tanḥuma cited regularly, so I think it's possible to find under regular circumstances. I did use resources that aren't available for everyone, though - Otzar HaChokhmah, a pay-based resource for thousands of scans of various Jewish religious books. Its name literally means "the Treasury of Wisdom/Knowledge", and a treasury it is - though I'm lucky enough to not be the one to pay for it. My college has access to their stuff, which is currently very convenient to me.

Anyway, that wasn't very helpful, because it was very easy to realize that this preface is long and I had no idea under which section this story is. So I did what every sane person would do in such a situation: I looked up the story in the Internet. To make a long story short, I found a website centered around Bialik's Sefer Ha'Agadah which gave a precise location to the level of pages. This was a little less helpful than you might think, because this website and the Otzar clearly had different ideas on where a page count should start. Fortunately, I expected that obstacle and went looking around a little more until I've found the story. I shall attach a picture of it in the end after the cut, but since it's in Hebrew it may not be of much interest to those here who do not speak the language.

One more not before I tell the story itself and lay down my thoughts: the particular section of the preface this story was found in was a listing of particular deviations in one of the manuscripts Buber was using in editing his edition of Midrash Tanḥuma. Specifically, the third manuscript he found in Oxford, which probably still exists in Oxford (or somewhere else). This is probably an old manuscript but... I'll get to my point after I tell the story.

The story begins with Shəlomo HaMelech having had a beautiful daughter, and wandering who G-d might have meant for her to marry. So he used his vast knowledge of astrology to divine that... she was going to marry a poor, lowborn man. So, he built a tower in the middle of the sea, one without any doors, and put there his daughter - along with seventy eunuchs of the elders of Israel. He also put there enough food for all of them to live by for a long time, and then left it all to see how G-d will turn events about. In the meantime, the girl's soulmate was starving and dying of hypothermia somewhere, so he went to draw some heat from a bull cracass, and went to sleep in it. A large bird (likely of a scavenging kind, regularly said to be a vulture) carried the carcass to the top of the tower to eat it. When the boy woke up, he found himself in the tower with Shəlomo's daughter. She asked him how he came to be there and he told her. Then they fell in love, yadda yadda yadda, they got married with G-d and the angels Michael and Gabriel as their witnesses (no, they do not directly appear in the story, it's about as good as the story about the Pit and the Rat which I'm not going to tell now), they did what married couples do, she got pregnant, Shəlomo came to see and asked her husband how she got there, finishing it all off with "bless G-d who matches a man", more or less.

In many ways, this sounds like a classic European fairy tale. Which has an upside and a downside. The upside is, it might make it easier to Disneyfy (without having to do the whole schtick with no loyalty to the source Disney constanty does) since it already has the esential parts of a Disney story: we've got a girl in need of saving (sort of), a boy for the love interest, a magical story of how they met and a happy ending. Add in a few songs, make her somehow randomly meet him prior to her time in the tower because getting to know him in the tower is kind of creepy even if this is exactly what the original story said (all right, I might consider this part of Disneyfication a way of being disloyal to the source material, but I'm not sure) and you basically have a classic Disney Princess story!

The downside is I'm not sure how Jewish it sounds, in addition to how it's a tiny bit too similar to Rapunzel. Both problems that can be dealt with, of course - so long as we don't let Disney itself actually deal with the story. Can't say I trust them with it. The way to treat both problems, I think, would be to enhance the background story to the "trapped in a tower" trope.

It's really hard to say what consists of a Jewish theme. Certainly, using Shəlomo as a character isn't enough: Christians have already tried to claim him as theirs, and merely having the setting of the story include him won't cause anyone to think "ooh, this must be a Jewish story!"

So, what can we enhance to make this story sound more Jewish? Well, firstly, the mindset of Shəlomo when doing all of this. This isn't too obvious in the story itself - but is a likely read IMO - that Shəlomo actually fully expects for G-d's plan to be fulfilled. He's not attempting to spite destiny, he's attempting to test it, to see the wonders that may result from it. This isn't, to my knowledge, a common mindset in European fairy tales. What he does is still kind of cruel - he locks her in a tower without enterance, with only 70 old men to keep her company, which is unideal to most any young woman. But still, this somewhat unique mindset is worth exploring. (On a side note I should say that the 70 elders thing is also very Jewish, but I'm not sure that there's much to do with it really, so I'm going to leave it here.)

Secondly, there's how, in the story, the male love interest is described as very smart - and a scribe. I kind of forgot to mention that, along with the fact he wrote their Ketubah in his own blood, but it's all there in the source. Either way, idealizing scribes is also a pretty Jewish thing, I think. I don't really know of any Disney prince who is known for his writing abilities. Now sure, in modern times where many people are literate it's not as significant. And yet... there could be something there. An emphasis on caligraphy, perhaps, or being a scribe for Torah scrolls... (I could segue here to a curse allegedly placed upon such scribes to never be rich - but that would be anachronistic, because it was placed by Ezra the Scribe. Don't ask.)

Of course, there are also the very clearly Jewish wedding traditions, which can help. Also, a vulture taking a carcass could actually work interestingly with Jewish symbolism - G-d says once that he talk the Israelites "upon the wings of vultures" and brought them to Him. Also, an eagle dives for the carcasses in Berit Bein HaBetarim, AKA the Covenant of the Pieces (a decent translation, I suppose), and some interpreters actually say it's symbolising G-d, but that's a long story.

The Astrology part is, admittedly, somewhat un-Jewish. The retelling in my book avoided it by changing it to the Urim V'Tumim, which can be a fun way to go, but... honestly, astrology plays a part in many Jewish stories. Plus, while the Urim V'Tumim reflect the will of G-d better than the stars, asking them about your daughter's soulmate is a bit odd, even if you are the king. So I think it's better to stick to the original version in that.

And... that's it for now, I suppose. A picture of the story will be added here, with description after because it's too long for ID text:

[ID: מב) בפרשת (כי) תשא באמצע אות ה' אחרי המלות: "ומביאו מסוף העולם ומזווג לזו בסוף העולם", כתוב בכתב יד: ומעשה בשלמה המלך שהיתה לו בת יפיפיה אין כמותה בכל ארץ ישראל, הביט במזלות מי בן זוגה ומי ישאנה, וראה שהוא עני אחד ואין בישראל עני כמותו, מה עשה, בנה מגדל גבוה בים, וה(/ח?)יה מסביבו בכל עברים מסביב, לקח בתו ושם אותה באותו מגדל הגבוה, ושם עמה שבעים סריסים מזקני ישראל, ובמגדול לא עשה פתח שלא יכנוס אדם בו, ושם בו צידה הרבה, אמר אראה פועל השם ומעשהו, לימים היה אותו עני שהוא בן זוגה והיה יוצא בדרך בלילה, היה ערום ויחף רעב וצמא ולא היה לו במה ישכב, ראה נבלת שור מושלכת בשדה, נכנס בה בין הצלעות הנבלה להפיג צינתו היה ישן בא עוף גדול ונטל אותה הנבלה ונשאה על גג אותו מגדל על חדר הבחורה, ושם היה אוכל העוף את בשר הנבלה, וישב שם על הגג כשהאיר השחר. יצתה הבחורה מחדרה ללכת הגגה כמשפטה בכל יום וראתה אותו בחור, אמרה לו מי אתה ומי הביאך הנה, אמר לה יהודי אני מבני עכו אני, אמנם עוף הביאני הנה, מה עשתה לקחתו והביאתו בחדרה והלבישוהו והרחיצוהו וסכתו ונתיפה מאד עד שאין כמותו בכל גבול ישראל, ואהבתו הבחורה בלבה ובנפשה, ונפשה קשורה בנפשו, והיה הבחור חריף ומפולפל וממולח וסופר, ��ום אחד אמרה לו רוצה אתה לקדשני, אמר לה ומי יתן, מה עשה הקיז דם וכתב לה כתובה ומוהר מדמו, וקידשה ואמר עד ה' היום ועדים מיכאל וגבריאל. בא עליה כדרך כל אדם ונתעברה ממנו, כשראו אותה הזקנים מעוברת אמרו לה כמדומה לנו שאת מעוברת, אמרה להם הן, אמרו לה וממי נתעברתה, אמרה להם מה לכם לדעת, נפלו פני הזקנים שהיו מתייראין משלמה המלך פן ישים עליהם עלילות דברים, ושלחו אליו לבוא לדבר אליהם, נכנס שלמה בספינה ובא אליהם ואמרו לו אדונינו המלך כך הדבר ואל ישים אדונינו בעבדיו עון, כששמע קרא לבתו ושאל לה על הדבר, אמרה לו בחור אחד הביא לי הקב"ה יפה וטוב תלמודי וסופר וקדשני, קראה לבחור ובא לפני המלך והראה לו הכתובה שעשה לבתו, ושאל לו המלך על אביו ועל אמו ועל משפחתו ומאיזה עיר הוא והבין מתוך דבריו שהוא אותו שראה במזל ושמח שמחה גדולה ואמר ברוך המקום שנתן לאיש וזהו מושיב יחידים ביתה. "מוציא אסירים בכושרות כו'" כמו בנדפס. /end ID]

(Note: added punctuation in the ID for the sections written by the publisher, the text from the manuscript is mostly left how it is in the picture.)

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

You know anon, it's funny you should bring this up

The hackers seemed adamant that I sit here on Tumblr very nicely, and very quietly, and reblog things to help his tags and not say anything

It seemed a bit of a confusing and odd request

Then my stuff got stolen, the HD I posted about having the screenshots on it, the posting of which some people seem to consider going above someone's heads?

I'm never getting my stuff back

I've accepted that now so I may as well blog whatever the fuck I like because fuck them, I don't care who they are or who they work for

Doxx me if you want assholes the list of suspects is short, nobody gets to tell me what to do

Someone sent me an anon right after I came out of exile when the scam was revealed after he deactivated about how they'd done a deep dive on the Disney worker blog and how they may also need to make amends (I think I actually posted that one?)

Make amends to who? And for what? And why? What exactly is it they are supposed to have done? It seems oddly specific

I do wonder why a completely different fan blog who also got hacked went very quiet and does exactly what the hackers asked me to do, produce content and reblog on his tags

I'm not getting paid to do anything for anyone, and I certainly won't be blackmailed into silence, but it does make me worry if someone else is in a very similar situation somehow

The only difference with me being it went awry because I refuse to be manipulated and participate in some bizarrely concocted scheme by some wannabe Gray Man social media tag manager

All you have to do is to look at who it benefits the most to find the answer

Who that is I can't decide, I can only base my opinion on what I've observed, what I've been told, and what I've been through, I can't see what's on their side or what their motivations might be

I am not a Chris Evans fan blog, I may have been once......

I'm a cautionary tale

I just happened to know every single rumour that went around since December 2021, I even told the "scammer" that I'd be the star witness of the whole thing given all of the info I got told, they then proceeded to try and pump me for all I knew and then threaten me into silence

The Encyclopedia of The Shitshow Volumes 1-4, I'm sure there are plenty out there who could contribute further to it

In my opinion it's dangerous for anyone to be associated with him online

Not because of him, he's not smart enough to pull something like this off even if it was something he actually wanted to do

But SOMEONE is preying on people and manipulating those in his fandom in a seriously fucked up way on multiple platforms, and they deserve the benefit of a warning

Nobody deserves blind loyalty from anyone, that's how weird cults and dictatorships start

I don't think this blog will ever hold a truly positive position on the man ever again

Neutral with time, perhaps.....

💜🪽🌟

[tempobrucera]

NSFW Alphabet - B

Pairing: Thomas x Fem!Reader Word Count: 2915 Warnings: For this one? Still kinda somewhat sweet (the next one isn't .....). Pretty sure this probably already counts as body worship, masturbation (on Thomas' part). I might have a slight nose kink, I don't have under control as well. And terrible sense of humour. A/N: Well, did I kinda write a whole fic in itself for this? And a blurb? Yes, maybe I did. Maybe this is the time where I should say that I already wrote 15k or more for this? Additionally I did write another blurb for this ages ago, it included a lot of hair combing, stroking and so on but maybe I gonna post it as a regular blurb at one point. Parts: A Taglist: @teenyweenynightghost, @findaqueenwithoutaking

Special thanks to @teenyweenynightghost for asking to be on a tag list 🥺💕 If anyone wants to be added, let me know. My asks and so on are open. And as someone asked, yes, it's okay to reblog even if you've never talked to me or have no clue who I am. Thanks for all the tags and the nice words!

If you use anything out of my writing or feel inspired by it, you ask or you link back to the fic. Thank you. If you don't, you're blocked from now on.

NSFW Alphabet - B B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

.__________.

When you ask him what he likes about himself, he would probably answer with several character traits, without thinking about looks first. When you ask him specifically what he likes about his body? He probably wouldn't give you the answer you expect to hear. He would tell you that he likes his hair, even though or just because people asked him what's that mob of hair on his head and why he's calling that birds nest a hair cut. How much he likes his eyes, because he thinks they're just cool. But definitely not what would you expect at all.

.__________.

"Thomas?"

"Hmmm?" He's looking up from his phone for not even five seconds to look at you and is going back to typing without paying more attention to anything around him.

Tracing the MÅ on his hip with one of your fingers, you get at least a pleased but surpressed noise out of him: "What are you even doing?"

"Working", he looks at you sheepishly, "Just had this idea, don't want to forget it."

"Thomas?"

"Hmmm?" Still typing, guiltily avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"I told you, you can come here whenever and however long you want to", you poke your finger into his tattoo, as if it's a dagger, it's a thread, "But no work in bed."

"Just two minutes, please!"

Knowing that you can only lose this fight, you lay your head on his hip without saying anything. Waking up feels strange, slowly coming to your senses again. It feels like you were only out for five minutes but there's no natural light coming through the windows anymore, a tell tale sign that you slept a lot longer than five minutes or the two minutes Thomas wanted to have. Thomas' hand is in your hair, slowly stroking over your scalp, still on his phone. Only when you press your lips against his hip, moving slowly, does he pay attention to you: "Oh, you're awake!?"

"Yes, why didn't you wake me up?" Before he has even a chance to answer there's a dull noise coming from next to him when Thomas is moving his arm. "Thomas."

"Couldn't just wake you up and ... I got a bit lost, perhaps?" Guilt is dropping from his voice and you can see it in his eyes as well. Mixed with a glint of I really wasn't planning on getting caught. "For the last, uhm, two hours?"

"Two hours, oh god." All you can do is sigh while Thomas is beating the devil's tattoo on the pick guard of his guitar. Which somehow made it into your bed without you waking up. Somehow he had managed to get up and getting into bed again without you hearing a thing. Which means that he really paid attention to not make any noise, to really not wake you up. "I'm not angry, just ... please don't get another Fender in my bed. It's gonna end with another guitar and another Fender and another one and I don't know if I'm ready to take care of them or to wake up because I'm laying on guitar strings."

"But we could have made such a great family, all of us together." Thomas has to laugh at his own silly joke and you can't stop yourself from giggling as well. "I'm weird, sorry."

"I know that, I like that!" You smile at him. "Which actually reminds of the question I was about to ask before you had me playing sleeping beauty."

"What's the question?"

"Tell me what you like about yourself?" Pressing a last kiss to his hip, you slowly get out of your curled up position at Thomas' side, going over to straddling his hips.

Thomas presses his lips to your neck, pulling you in closer with his hands on your hips: "I'm fun! I'm definitely not boring! I know what I want, mostly."

"True! Can't complain." Teeth are carefully scraping over your skin. "Maybe I should've been more precise. No character traits."

Only after slowly licking over your collarbone, slowly kissing back up to your chin, does he answer you. "I like my hair, I really do. Don't care what other's say about it."

"Hmm, okay, I like it too, it looks good on you and it's soft. That's really it?", he looks at you questioningly. It's not a lie, it's just not what you expected. Maybe you love it even more than he does, it's soft and you love to get your hands in it. Knowing that he loves it when you do it, just makes it better. "Just not what I expected."

"Can I say something other than that as well?"

You give him a quick peck on the lips: "Sure. You can name three, you have two to go."

"I like my eyes as well, does that count?", he asks. Not breaking eye contact."They look a bit weird and they change colour which is pretty cool if you ask me."

For a while he just stares into your eyes. Pulling you in closer until your noses touch. At the same time he's slightly bucking his hips into you. Definitely this was not your plan but you can feel that he's getting hard in his jeans. "You've got one more, babe."

"My legs, I like them as well. They're long and ...", Thomas moves under you, freeing them a little bit before he wraps them around you, drawing you in closer. So close that not even tissue paper could fit between your bodies, he's putting force behind it. It makes your head spin and you almost forget to breath for a second. "Yeah, and I can do that with them."

You try to catch your breath again, while Thomas is slightly moaning against your neck: "Thomas, you're tall and lanky, everything on you is long."

Even before you said the last word, you're already regretting your choice of words. Thomas on the other hand is gleefully laughing: "Well."

"God, why did I say that", you get out before he can grab the possibility to say anything else. "Pleeease, no dick jokes. That's not what I meant."

"Hmmmm, tell me more", he mumbles into your hair.

"You also have a long neck, and long arms, and ..." Can you sound more stupid? You're not short of actually facepalming but Thomas is still holding you so close, pressing his crotch against you and straight up giggling that you can't bring yourself to the point to be embarrassed.

"I guess, you're right. Vic called them pool noodles lately, so I guess you all have a point. You're in love with a human pool noodle, any regrets?"

"Absolutely not, no! No regrets at all! I just ... I just want to know why you didn't pick your hands, wouldn't that make the most sense?"

"I... it's not that I hate them but. They do their job? A really good job and I like that they're the reason I can do what I love", he looks at you, "But ... they're completely bumped and fucked up, no? My knuckles are huge, I crack my fingers all the time, they get jammed and I know they feel way too rough. Honestly, what's there not to love? They play the guitar though."

"Thom? I love them, okay? I don't care how fucked up you think they are." A grumpy noise is the only thing you get. You know it's not insecurity but some weird disconnected pride speaking out of him. He's still pressing close though, still half hard, using every tiny bit of friction he can get. "C'mon, you love your guitar and playing. You should love them too."

"Hmmm, you like them, that's good as well."

"Yes, and I'm gonna show you what else I like." You stroke the fringe out of his face. "You're right, your hair is great. And this."

Kissing next to his ear, you kiss over his cheeks, leaving a trail of them under his eye. You can hear a muffled "What are you doing?" from Thomas. You move to his nose, kissing exactly that one spot of the bridge of his nose.

"Oh. You can't kiss them all though."

You smile at him: "I can kiss all the freckles I want, Thomas. Watch me." You kiss a few more of them on his face before moving back to his nose. Licking from the bridge to the tip of his nose, leaving a kiss there. "But I like that as well."

Getting one of his hands into your hair, he pulls you down a little bit. Leaving a few closed mouthed kisses on your lips before lightly brushing over them with his tongue. Deepening it when you let him. He's gently pulling your bottom lip with his teeth which makes you moan in response. Still kissing you afterwards, moving his tongue with yours. Only breaking the kiss when he needs some more air. You use the opportunity to move on. Kissing down his neck, kissing his bobbing adam's apple which makes him slightly shudder, then his shoulders where his collarbones stick out slightly, a tiny mole on his arm. You bury your nose in his chest hair for a bit before moving on to kiss both his nipples and another few stray freckles and another mole further down. A low moan comes from Thomas when you breath against his navel, just slightly. Just slightly kissing it afterwards. His hand buried into your hair, bucking his hips again. If anyone of you would have more patience this second, you would explore this further, for now you're just storing it away for another time, and move on. You kiss down his happy trail to the button of his jeans, you can feel him strain against the fabric.

"I forgot something", you whisper against his skin. You kiss a few more spots on his stomach before moving up again. The tiny growl you get makes you smile. You kiss the tattoo on his ribs first, moving on to the cobra on his arm, kissing your way up to the skull. Just to kiss your way down again to the dagger there. "I love this one."

Thomas is getting one of his hands of your body, sneaking it between you two. You can feel that he's struggling with the button of his jeans but then you hear the zipper being opened as well.

"I like this one as well." Giving the Rock 'И Roll tattoo on his other arm a kiss as well.

"Don't tell Damia. It'll go straight to his head." It comes out breathless, you know it's partly because he has his hand down his jeans and probably even in his briefs, partly because your lips are all over his body. "But I like it and the other one he gave me as well."

"And this ...", you scrap your teeth carefully over the red ink on his hip. "... I like this one as well."

"No bi-"

"No biting. I know", you scrap your teeth over it again, looking up to him afterwards, "Someone has to play half naked rockstar on stage, I know. Let me help you out of your jeans."

When you move back to his stomach, he still got his hand down his jeans and as suspected down his briefs. You free him of his jeans first, followed by his briefs. Thomas still has his hand on his dick when both pieces of clothing are off him and out of the bed. Lazily and slowly stroking himself, spreading pre-cum over the tip. You kiss is inner upper thigh, then slowly licking it, biting down, licking the spot apologetically afterwards and sucking a love bite into the skin there. You move again, leave a few kisses in his pubes but before you can move down further, Thomas pulls you of him by your hair. It is pleasurable hurt and you can't stop the silent whimper falling from your lips.

One hand still in your hair, he puts two fingers of his other hand to your lips. You look up to him, licking over his fingers before sucking on them, you can see how he's biting his lip. You're trailing after them when Thomas pulls them out of your mouth, however he's holding his open palm in front of your mouth right after. You lick his palm, leaving wet trails of spit on it. All while Thomas is looking into your eyes. When he pulls of this time, you want to move with him but he holds you back another time.

"Oh, no! No touching me, no touching you!" Only now are you realising that you didn't lose any clothes during this. There was no jeans on you to begin with but while Thomas got out of his jeans and underwear, you're still in your bra and shirt and your panties, which definitely have a wet spot on them. "I said no biting and you still did it. That's the price you pay."

Thomas is still looking down at you, not breaking eye contact the slightest. Neither are you. "You gonna show that part of your body off as well now?"

"You should be happy that I let you watch, really."

He moves your head slightly. You bite your lip while you watch how he moves his hand. Palming and pulling himself off, while making noises that should be illegal. Moaning, moving his hips and all you can do is watch. You know, he said no touching but you can't help yourself and kiss his abdomen, he doesn't seem to mind. His movements slow down before he gets faster again. You can feel his muscles contract, hear how his breathing is going over into panting, letting out a choked up noise when he cums over his hand. Thomas is still catching his breath when you're getting up to his face again. You're straddling one of his thighs, kissing the corner of his mouth, before he presses a kiss to your lips.

He presses his tigh against you: "You're wet."

"Thomas, fuck. What did you think would happen? That was hot, you're hot."

"You're still not getting anything though." He chuckles.

And in this moment you hate that pretty man under you.

.__________.

Thomas loves almost everything about you and he would tell you so.

He loves your face but he thinks that's a given, so it doesn't count, is what he's saying. He would still pepper it with kisses every chance he gets. Would press kisses to your forhead and to your cheek when you had a long day.

He loves your hands. These hands touch him, stroke his hair, are drawing patterns on his back when he can't sleep and he knows when he really really really wants to and puts effort into it he can teach those pretty hands how to play the guitar.

But he also loves your thighs. Loves to leave hickeys and bite marks there while you're playing with his hair. Has no problem falling asleep on them and your hip.

.__________.

The frustration in his eyes is undeniably there. There's no way around it. What makes it even worse is, that you know yourself that it sounds shit. And it does every damn time you try. Thomas showing you a billion times and explaining it a billion times more doesn't help. You don't understand anything except the basics that Thomas has drilled into you. It's Thomas though, it's his guitar you're clinging to as if it's a lifeline, and both of them don't seem to accept or even to know the word basic when it comes to music. It's not in their vocabulary. Neither in Thomas' nor his old guitars'. Actually you feel quite sorry for what you just did to that poor fretboard. Maybe that's a step in the right direction?

You let out a frustrated sigh: "Sorry!", you say more to the guitar than to him. Thomas raises an eyebrow but then smiles at you, taking the guitar from you and placing it carefully next to the living room table.

"We're going to try that again", he says, "You'll see it's going to work at one point."

Just as carefully does he take one of your hands in his. You have to laugh when he starts kissing your fingers one after the other. "What are you doing, Thom?"

"I love them, a lot, okay? I'm just putting them through a lot, I'm an ass", he looks at you, "Maybe I'm just a miserable teacher."

"You're not!" He takes your other hand and does the same, kissing every finger one after the other. "Maybe, I'm just a terrible and lazy student. I didn't even look at it the last one and a half weeks."

"Hmm. I get it, you have a life as well." Letting go of one hand, he grabs the other one again. Flipping it over and kissing fingertip after fingertip. "We don't have to do this. I just ..."

There's no way in heaven or in hell, that you can say no to those big eyes looking at you.

"Ouch!" You pull your hand slightly out of his grip. "That stings."

"Shit! Sorry. I should've known better, been there. We really don't have to do this."

"No, we're doing this! You're right, we're gonna get there at one point."

The sparkle these words put to his eyes is worth it, even though it's painful and frustrating.

[crashdevlin]

I'm thinking of posting some of my fics on here but I'm kinda terrified. What if someone reads it and hates it? What if no one reads it? Do you have any words of wisdom before I jump down the rabbit hole?

So, here's the thing...I have been writing fanfic for 20 years. You read that right, that is not a typo, I have been writing fanfiction since I was 11 years old. I kept it to myself for a few years, but when I was 14, I found a site called mediaminer.org and I decided to post some of my angsty anime fics because I didn't want to bother my friends about whether or not my stories were good. (Writers love that validation stuff).

The first few posts went well. I got hits! I got likes (or whatever was the MM.org equivalent) and I was feeling good, feeling bolder and got some confidence going. And then I got one flame (bad reviews were called flames back then...because they were burning us or something. Idk) it was bad. They questioned my mental capacity (used the 'R' word) and pointed out every spelling error and every continuity issue and hated on my use of random anglicized Japanese words (which was sooooo common to do in anime fics back then idk if it still is because I don't write anime fic anymore). They told me that I should stop writing and delete my account.

So I did. The second part anyway. I was 14! I'd never had my ass handed to me for no reason by someone who was hiding behind a screen name and the thought that I was willingly opening myself up to that kind of abuse just to get someone to tell me "good job" was absurd to me. I deleted my account and pretty much never wrote anime fic again.

But I didn't stop writing. I started writing Buffy and Angel and Doctor Who and Dark Angel. I kept writing specifically for me and for a few of my friends. I didn't post for 12 years because I took to heart what one mean little person hiding behind their keyboard said.

I started posting on Fanfiction.net about 5 years ago (I don't anymore...I smut too much for them) and then I found Archive and finally started posting on tumblr.

Have I had flames? Yes. I've had people tell me that I ruined a story by alluding to Sam and Dean not being 100% straight. I've had people tell me I'm going to Hell for writing wincest. I've had people tell me that they hate the direction I took Happily Ever Eventually ('Jensen wouldn't do that!')

You know what I do? Delete that shit and move on. The sad little people behind their keyboards that wanna make themselves feel better by putting you down, they don't deserve your time or energy. I don't give them that. I delete the hate and move on.

So that's what you do if people hate it. You ignore them and move on.

As for "what if no one reads it?" lemme tell you another tale. The first fic I posted on tumblr is called Some Of This Isn't Bad and it is a really good fic. It was on this hellsite for years (YEARS) before it got its first like. Longer before it got a reblog. It isn't bad. It it's good. But I was a nothing blog and it wasn't til I had a masterlist and followers curious enough to click the links on the list that it was discovered.

Here's my advice- write what you want, not what you think will be popular. Use a keep reading (people are less likely to reblog if they're gonna bog down their followers dashes with long posts), tag any and all triggers in a warning at the top (this is gonna help people not get angry at you all the time) and tag characters and ships and genres and anything you can think of that might catch peoples attention at the bottom.

If it's slow to get attention, don’t let it discourage you. Just keep writing and people will find it eventually.

Write! Post! Be in love with your own writing and people will find it and love it!