#I'm really working on FD and some AU Glee tho

[neshabeingchildish]

07. Feeding the Monster

Well, I’ma be real with y’all. I haven’t made any new white friends in ages, lost many of the associates that I once had in recent years and honestly have like 2-4 in my life that I’m comfortable with on a genuine friendship level. But. a lot of young people tell me about how disappointed they wind up when they first recognize that their friends don’t get their identities. Growing up in SETX, in a city surrounded by hick towns with active Klan my entire lifetime, none of the “racial climate” of America is new to me or mine. But, I do realize that in some places, people somehow never witness or experience a racially motivated situation early in life. I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse. To be honest, it’s so normal where I’m from, I don’t know what the attitude might be for people who have only managed to get dosages of it in “Trump’s America.” Regardless... I wanted to do this sort of Charlotte-centric racial piece and ultimately decided that A Chasper Fic was where I would put it. Though, it could easily be a standalone with Chasper shipping. Anywho, TW for racial discrimination, harassment and racial isolation. I know that affects a lot of folk and don’t want too much heartache.

Feeding the Monster

Most people don't know Charlotte. That's one of the world's greatest gags, in her opinion. She was always straightforward. She's never been dishonest or fake. She may not always speak her mind, as she didn't always find that necessary and some people simply weren't worth her energy. But, even being as genuine and authentic as she had always been… people didn't really know her. People thought that they knew her. She was often a subject of conversation. Whether she was thought of as a booksmart nerd with no friends, or a pretty girl who probably was stuck up and that's why she had no friends..  Charlotte was aware of the mystery surrounding her.

Even her two best friends didn't get all of what there was there. They knew her habits and hobbies, but neither of them ever really knew her hardships. They never noticed and they never asked. It didn't surprise her. Neither was observant and that wound up being her role in their lives a lot of the time. But, she strongly believed that if she sometimes shared her issues, they would most likely have her back. Why trouble anybody with anything they'd never really have to deal with, though?

That gave her hardships too much power. She didn't ignore her problems. But, she liked to handle them in her own way and time, if it was worth either. Sometimes… things didn't go as planned, though.

.

Her parents didn't discuss it, unless of course it couldn't be avoided, but Charlotte knew early on that there was a difference between herself and most of the Swellview kids.

They didn't seem to have the haircare concerns that she did. Their skincare routines seemed vastly different. Whenever they watched TV and movies - they saw themselves in the characters and in public personas. Whenever she watched the same programs, she saw her surroundings, not her reflection.

It wasn't an issue that she was necessarily conscious of. She simply knew. She knew that different spaces held different volumes of viewable types. For instance, at a family gathering she knew she'd see perhaps sixty similar viewable types. But, at a school gathering she knew that she would probably only see six. That was simply a thing that she knew, like the sky is blue and 2+2.

As she got older, more tech savvy and reliant on the Internet; the differences became clearer. Not in the way that she felt some type of way about being different and her reflection being a minority… but she noticed that many of those souls in her surroundings felt a way about it.

Now, her two friends - they didn't really see it. She had been friends with both of them long enough to gather that much. They couldn't hear the dog whistle terminology or feel the aura when some bias was directed towards her. She would be annoyed by it at times, but mostly, she tried not to let the ignorance of others interfere with her day.

Whenever the ignorance triggered hatred, she'd sometimes gain an enemy. They might start a battle and she would feel like the one with the power to pick and choose those. She wasn't used to anyone else joining her, especially when she wasn't choosing to battle…

"It was dangerous. For all you know, the man is a psychopath and capable of killing you!" She fussed at Jasper, pulling him into the Man Cave by the elbow and carrying both of their bags. Henry looked up at the sound of her fussing, expecting to see Jasper with egg on his face or something. Instead, he saw blood.

"Whoa! What is happening? Who did that to Jasper? Tell me it was a wild animal!" He said, with his hand at the ready to grab his tube of gumballs.

"He fought like a wild animal, but trust me - the other guys were in way worse shape." She sat Jasper down, dropped their things and went to the auto snacker, "Three bags of ice." Henry fished for more details as she retrieved the first aid kit.

"Okay. I know I made you mad once and you socked me with a slab of meat, but THIS is way different. What the butt happened?"

"Some dude attacked Charlotte!" Jasper said while she was putting ice on his busted fists.

"WHAT?" Henry did have his tube of gum now and was pouring one into his hand.

Charlotte offered, "Trust me, for now the crisis has come to a halt."

Jasper went on, "He was following her and screaming obscenities when I walked up, and I heard him call her the worst thing that I've ever actually heard in my entire life."

"What did he say?" Henry asked, with the gumball at his lips. 

Charlotte snatched it away from him and resumed tending to a cut above Jasper's left eye, "I don't need two of you busted up. That fight could have easily been avoided. The guy was probably not gonna touch me and I was recording him with my phone, in case it escalated beyond the yelling and I would have just pressed charges. But Jasper comes along and immediately takes a swing at the guy, and nearly got murked by he and his friend!” She addressed his jaw next, with trembling hands. "Somebody like that is just looking for a fight. You don't GIVE it to them. You let them do their thing, then you either make them famous on the Internet, or if you’re me, you show them they're irrelevant by not feeding the monster." She was shaken up as she placed a bag of ice on his jaw. "What if they had weapons? You could have been seriously hurt. I could've seen my friend killed over a few slurs." 

"I'm sorry, but I didn't think about that when I heard him. That's revolting. Who says things like that to someone?" 

She stroked his hair and shrugged her shoulders. "It happens."

He leaned into her touch, "I know, but it shouldn't and you shouldn't have had to have it happen to you. Weren't you upset or angry or something?" Henry felt like he was witnessing some intimate moment, but was too concerned to dismiss himself.

Charlotte admitted, "I was furious and terrified. I usually am. But, I pick my battles and some bulky guy with a friend is not someone I felt like I should engage. You should’ve followed my lead."

Jasper pulled the ice from his face and said, "You usually are? How often has this happened to you?" He was horrified by the thought of it happening even once!

She shrugged her shoulders, but tears were trying to come out of her face. "You know, the first time I heard that word , I was 7, and by the time I stopped counting the times, I was 14 and had been referred to as something like that about a dozen times. The past few years, it's increased and people are more vicious about it. Like that guy… That's the 3rd time something like that happened this year."

"WHAT???" Jasper cried out. 

She shook her head and said, "Google it or something. I don't want to talk about it." She left to go pull herself together and Jasper put the ice back on his face.

"She's not upset that you fought him. She's embarrassed that you saw her go through something that sounds terrible. She doesn't like to look weak and stuff." Henry said and sat down. "So.. that dude. He said..  you know THE word. N word?"

"An N one followed by a B one," Jasper said, clenching his fist.

"Anybody would have punched him in the face."

"No. Not if it happens a lot and we didn't even know. We would have heard that someone punched somebody in the face for that, right?"

"Maybe. We're just now hearing how often it happens to her."

"I feel sick. How does this happen and she just… I don't know… Deals with it?"

"Same way you deal with your personal things," she said, coming back and forcing him to put the ice back on his jaw. "Speaking of.. your mom is gonna lose it when she sees this." She sighed, dreading the thought of what she might say to him about it. "Tell her you were defending Henry. She likes him."

Jasper put the ice aside and pulled her to himself to give her a hug. "I'm sorry that this is… frequent for you. And I'm sorry in advance… because if I'm ever there and that happens, I'm always gonna fight for you."

"I also will be fighting over this," Henry said, lifting a finger in the air. 

She pulled away from Jasper's hug with an escaped tear and a chuckle. "Well, you're both idiots," she said and walked off. But, there was something soothing about their declaration. It was almost like they finally got everything that there was there with her.

"Dude. I don't want to be the guy who flip flops on issues, but I'm relatively sure that you just bagged your girl," Henry said.

"You're joking. She's furious with me."

"She's furious that you got hurt over something that she's (sadly) gotten used to living with. I don't know anybody alive that's not turned on by someone else jumping in front of danger for them. I say this from experience of being a hero. You are in there, Jasp."

Jasper fought off a smile. It hurt his jaw. "I didn't do it for that. It was just a reflex. I'm not gonna use this as my plot to get her. That seems gauche. I just… really want her to feel like we're here for her when she gets treated like that." Jasper was thinking about what she'd said earlier. Him dealing with his mom was vastly different from having strangers accost you on the sidewalk just for existing. 

Ray came in and shook his head, "Who'd you tick off this time, Jasper?"

"Char says he won the fight," Henry told him.

Ray smiled, "Oh yeah? Against who? Some kid?"

"Dude was trying to hurt Charlotte…" 

Ray reached for his gumball tube, "Oh, really? She get a piece of him too?"

Henry shook his head. "She seemed really scared, Dude. Apparently people say racist stuff to her a lot?"

"WHAT?" Ray said, throwing gum into his mouth.

"She doesn't want us to go after him… But, Jasper, if we happen to see him or his friend somewhere, just signal and it's on."

"If I see him, I'm actually going to dropkick him in the chest, both feet, on sight." Jasper said.

"That'll be the signal then," Henry said and fist bumped him. 

Jasper winced, shook his fist and put it back into the ice. "You… really think this will make Charlotte see me differently?"

Henry quickly said, "Dude, you got your jaw rocked. We all see you differently right now."

Ray followed up with, "I see you differently, Jasper. Respect." He raised his fist and Jasper bumped it and powered through the pain. It was worth it. 

Charlotte returned and changed Jasper ice out, then looked at all of them suspiciously. "What are you three up to?"

"Male bonding." 

She rolled her eyes and said, "Well, take it easy on this one. He's had enough adventure for a while." Then, she strummed Jasper's hair again and gave him a smile before heading back to the store. All three of them waited until she was on the elevator to respond happily to that little gesture.