#I'm really sorry about not being able to update faster :<

[defrosted69]

My Hype Boy

(A/N: Got this idea off Youtube again and I said why not mix it up a bit Yohohoho)

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You exhaled heavily as the autumn breeze past you by. Your highschool days were closing to an end and you couldn't remember any good memories that you made in school. You know that after high school, everything will be on your own and it will be your decision on what to do with your life. Honestly speaking, you wanted to at least work after your high school days inorder to help your single mother.

Your mother wasn't a single mother before but your father died when you were young because of his heart disease. You didn't really remember his features or any memory he has with you as the only proff you can have is photos of him along with your mother.

Well lately, your mother has been meeting a guy whom she's having fun with. You weren't gonna stop your mother have fun since shr deserve nothing but happiness after what she went through in life. You haven't seen the man but hearing stories from your mother, the dude sounded like a good guy.

You sighed and just brushed those thoughts away as today was the last day of school for the week meaning you have time for yourself. That sweet update from your game was what your aim this week was. You worked hard to review for this week quizzes and you feel like you actually did great so why not relieve yourself and embrace the pleasure of gaming.

You were infront of your door as you opened it and called out your mother.

"Eomma I'm home-"

"Y/N! Good timing. I want you to meet your step father."

Your eyes immediately looked around and sure enough, there was a man beside your mother who had plastered a kind smile. He wore glasses and in your opinion, he looked like a business man which you presume his career is connected to an entrepreneur. Your gaze then shifted to the small girl who was peaking behind her. Her gaze at you looked like a scared cat as this made you nervous for some odd reason.

"Y/N, this is Doyoung. He's gonna be your new step father."

He offered you a handshake which you complied by. But your eyes immediately shifted towards the girl behind her. Something about her made you self conscience of yourself. Your step father must have seen your gaze as he smiled softly and introduced her shy daughter.

"Ah, She's Kim Minji. She's my daughter. She's a shy girl but she can't speak."

This made you confused. Your eyebrows furrowed a bit as Minji slowly hid herself behind her father once again. Seeing your confused face made your mother chuckled a bit as she was the one who explained to you.

"She's suffering from aphasia Y/N."

"Ah I see..."

"I know she's preety but you gotta understand her condition got it?"

Your mother's stern voice only made you sigh as you nod your head. After a few greetings here and there, You finally made your way to your room and turned your PC on. Your phone buzzed and you were already aware that your friends are waiting for you so you hopped on to the game and saw them all online. Being the typical gamers they are, they began to tell you how you suck at the game when in reality, your KDA average was at 15-4-9. It wasn't at pro level but it was enough to carry your teammates aka your friends through ranked games.

Being able to enjoy the time you have playing games made the time move faster. For 30 minutes that you feel like playing, but in reality, time has moved 2 hours from when you started playing. The orange sky has turned off and everything outside of your window has turned dark as the clouds dissappeared and was replaced with twinkling stars.

A sudden tap on your shoulder startled you as you jumped out of your seat. Your hearted raced to the max as you looked behind you and you saw a frightened Minji shivering in fear. You immediately removed your headset and tried to calm the girl down.

"I-It's okay Minji. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry."

We weren't really sure on what to do but if there was one thing that you learned in school is that you should be a gentle speaker to someone who's quiet or someone who is anxious. Minji was showing both signs and you had hoped you have calmed her down and it did helped her for a bit. You noticed how she stopped shivering yet her eyes still showed worry. You then noticed how she was holding a plate of food and this immediately got you the idea why Minji came to your room.

"Ah, Sorry I couldn't go down for dinner. Did you make this?"

She slowly nodded her head as you smiled brightly at her. You were thankful that she made you dinner but you also felt a little bad that a stranger made you your food. You were a person who always pay your debt and right now, you were indebt to Kim Minji.

"Thank You Minji. I appriciate it. Ummm.. I know it's weird for me to ask this but do you have something in mind that you like? Like food?"

Minji gulped as she gave you an anxious stare. You weren't able to read what she was saying because she can't really speak. She then placed your plate on your table as she pointed at your PC Screen. She looked down embarrassed and held the cloth of her pajamas tightly. You were no idiot as you immediately got the hint of what she wants.

"Ah, you wanna play the video game?"

She nodded her head slowly.

"Sure. Do you want me to teach you as well?"

She looked up at you rather quickly as her eyes widen in surprised. For the first time since earlier, the anxious look she showed dissappeared and were no longer visible in her face. Instead, excitement and joy showed on her face. She did a small hop from her joy which you couldn't help but chuckle at her cuteness. You left your seat to which Minji slowly occupied it. She looked around your PC and was amazed on how your keyboards were flashing color rainbow lights, add in some figurine on the side which added some aesthethic flavor on your setup.

"So do you have any background of the game Minji?"

She slowly nodded her head which caught you by surprise. The game was for all obviously but it was rare for you to see a girl take interests on such game considering how toxic the game chat can be sometimes. Your shock suddenly turned to worry as you quickly muted the chat along with voice chat as you didn't want Minji to get exposed by the toxic words that can be labeled as a the world's biggest crime sentence known to humanity.

You watched from behind as Minji plays your character and mind you, your character is no easy task. They say that your character you choose was only used by the professional players especially in the esport tournament because of how complicated it is to master it. Even with your 6 months of using the character, you still haven't really realized how to properly use this character properly.

But as 5 minutes of speedrun gameplay, you just witness a pro level user use your champion as if it was nothing. The combos Minji unleashed were all so on point and was so effective against the rival team and the supposed 20 to 30 minute gameplay just ended in 15 minutes with Minji having a KDA of 15/0/6. Zero death and the MVP of the game. You were silenced by her gameplay as Minji removed the headset and looked at with her preety eyes.

"Oh my god... That was so amazing!!"

You exclaimed as Minji's eyes widen seeing you jump from joy. You were all smile as you clapped your hands congratulating her for her splendid performance. But instead of seeing a smile from her, she only looked anxious and scared as this confused you. She suddenly stood up and sprinted out of your room leaving you perplexed and filling your thoughts with so many questions. That happiness that you felt immediately died and was replaced with worry.

"Did I do something wrong?"

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"You definitely did something wrong."

Your friend Soobin said in a matter of fact tone. You groaned as you laid your head at your table. Soobin was one of your friends in school and an introvert unlike you and Yeonjun who were extroverted. You realized that Minji must be an introvert after meeting her so you decided to ask for help with another introvert and that's where Choi Soobin comes to play.

"Why? What did I do wrong?"

"Hmmmm. Well for starters she isn’t close with you yet. Either that or she's not used to compliments or such."

The last part of his essay got you intrigue. You couldn't understand why she wouldn't be used to compliments when she herself looked like a girl who's always complimented by her father or even her friends.

"I didn't know there was such thing."

"Well now you know. But who's she anyway?"

Soobin's question got you sweating profoundly out of nowhere. Soobin wasn't an easy opponent when it comes to lying. His sharp eyes and good skill on observing people is what makes it difficult to find excuses to dodge him. You weren't just gonna simply say that you have a new sister living under your roof as this will make things more difficult for you as it is with her.

"An…old friend of mine."

You tried to cover your unsure answer with confidence on your voice. This skill was developed when your were in your first year as you made unsure reasons to your mother to play video games instead of learning and it worked somehow. This skill of yours was something that Soobin wasn't aware as of the moment as he just shrugged his shoulder.

"Ah, that explains it."

You silently sigh a relief knowing that Soobin took the bait for now.

"Wait, one reason could be that she was bullied before and she lost that sense of trust or something like that."

Now that was a wild and interesting take. Pondering about for a while, that reason could make such sense considering she has a disability.

"It must have been tough for her."

Your heart soften imagining how Minji must have felt being bullied because she can't talk nor speak out her thoughts. This somehow angered you as you clenched your fist in anger. The thought of Minji getting hurt didn't sit well with you as Soobin noticed the burning flare on your eyes.

"Calm down Y/N. You look like you're about to kill someone."

"Ah, Sorry."

Soobin's words snapped you back to reality as you exhaled a deep breath. There was no point of you getting angry at this moment as you weren't even sure if she was being bullied from the start. In fact you barely know anything about Minji at all. The only information you have with her is that she's a good LooL player. That's it. Not even her contacts was in your phone.

"I'm such a terrible brother to her."

You sighed but you turned your attention to apologizing to the girl after school. The first thing that entered your mind is offering her a bunch of food. Mainly some snacks and some chocolates for her. Maybe you can add in a few drinks as well.

"Hmm.. Should I buy some drink? But what does she like? Hmmm..."

Once the school bell rang indicating the end of school, Yeonjun and Soobin stood up together as their eyes signal one another. They have plans today to hangout in Soobin's place as they turned their attention toward you. But instead of finding you smiling towards them, your seat was empty and they caught a glimpse of you leaving the class in hurried manner. Yeonjun found it strange as he was about to rush towards you when Soobin stopped him.

"Hey, Yah, Soobin. Why are you stopping me?"

"Just let him be. He must be helping his mother at her shop today."

Soobin knew that was far from the truth yet he had hoped that was enough reason for Yeonjun to believe in.

"Ah, is that so?"

"Yeah."

"Oh well. Guess it's just the idiot duo again."

"Don't add me into that."

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Making your way at the local store, you contemplated on what flavor of filled bread you were gonna choose.

"Hmm? Will Minji like chocolate filled bread or will she like the strawberry one? Hmmm..."

You could only sigh as this was quite a troublesome problem for you. But then you realized something that could solve your problem.

"Why do I have to choose 1 when I can choose both? God I'm such a genius."

You chuckled to yourself and placed the 2 bread unto your grocery basket and went to the drinks section. Upon arriving, your eyes wandered seeing there was a lot of variation of drinks that you can choose ranging from water to juice and the like. But your main focus isn't some water or factory ready juice. No, your focus was the milk flavored section. Choosing between Strawberry and Mango, you grabbed both since you like mango and strawberry as well.

You thought that you have enough money to pay for your stuff, you were surprised by how much the foods cost as you couldn't believe how it exceeded your allowance. Worst part of all this is, is that you forgot your wallet back at home and your pocket money is only for 26175.00 won. the total food cost was 35678.00 won which was more than your pocket money. You had no choice but to remove what wasn't necessary as you choose the strawberry filled bread and Mango milk drink. This was a giant bet as you weren't sure what Minji really liked.

You left the store feeling a little dissapointed by yourself but nonetheless, you were still determined to apologized to Minji. You began to start the trail towards your home but a sudden though made you visit your mother's stall and saw her working alone. Your mother had own a small chicken stall near the neighborhood of your home as this small stall was the reason why you are attending school in the first place. You smiled entering the shop and greeted your mother with a happy demeanor as you hugged her warmly.

"Hey Mom."

"Oh. Y/n. How's school for you dear?"

"Preety boring. Nothing new."

"Really? Well have you had dinner yet?"

"Not yet."

"Why don't you sit down and I'll cook you some chicken wings."

"You don't have to Mom. I'm still full from the little snack I ate earlier."

You pulled away from her as your mother chuckled at your behavior. You then placed the food on of the store's table as you began to help your mother sweep the floor or even clean some tables. This was your task everytime you visit her stall as this was the least you can do to lessen her work load.

"Ah, By the way Mom."

"Hmm?"

"About Minji. I actually have no knowledge about her and I feel scared that I may fuck up my actions towards her."

It was a question that you really need an answer for and no one is better than to ask than your own Mother. She sighed a bit as she closed the cash register and looked at you.

"Doyoung told me that Minji suffered Aphasia due to bullying. She was seven years old when her school bully pushed her on a river and her head got hit on a rock. The doctors told him that Minji was lucky to survive the fall and hit on her head but it did cause her to lose her voice. Since then, Minji has been home schooled her life keeping her away from the harsh reality of schools."

That immediately saddened you as your shoulders slumped down and your facial expression showed nothing but sadness and pity. Minji wasn't just a shy girl, she was a traumatized girl that couldn't properly let go of her painful past. You finally realized what you did wrong towards her as she wasn't used to being complimented by other people beside her father. This also add that she must have been traumatized of people cheering for her thinking they were behind her when in fact, they couldn't care less about her.

Minji was just all to stunned to take everything that you did for her as she wasn't used in that situation at all. You sighed heavily as you smacked your head realizing how much of an idiot you were towards her.

"I'm so stupid! Damn it."

You cursed yourself for this kind of behavior but this also added more motivation towards asking for forgiveness towards her. So after a few minutes of fixing and cleaning up the place, your mother has closed the shop and both of you walked home. Upon arriving, you immediately went towards the supposed room of Minji. Your heart was beating fast and this made you feel anxious as hell. Sweats began to form on your forehead and hands as the nervousness began to take over your body. You took one deep breath and you mentally prepared yourself for what you will face.

You knocked on her door 3 times and called out her name.

"Minji, are you there? I.. I just wanna apologize to you."

There was a few seconds of silence and just when you were about to knock the second time, you heard the door click open as Minji peaked through door staring at you. You gulped as you realized how scared Minji is towards you. You mentally slapped yourself for being an insensitive prick towards a girl who's so afraid of the world around her. With a deep breath you bowed towards her in a complete 90° angle bow showing how sorry you were.

"I'm so sorry for acting so irrational towards you Minji. I didn't know that I scared you with my actions and I sincerely apologize towards you. I failed as a big brother and I would understand if you ignore me or even hate me because I deserve all of it. I didn't consider your feelings and that was a big problem from me. I have learned my lesson and I hope I can still be a good big brother towards you."

You were glad that you didn't stutter with your words as you hoped that Minji would get your point. But you were also afraid that you could have said too much for the girl. The silence that the atmosphere carried was so heavy that you couldn't help but look for a bit and you were suprised to see Minji crying while staring at you.

"Oh shit! Oh no, oh no. Oh no, oh no. What do I fucking do????"

You were completely scared as to why Minji suddenly started crying infront of you as you quickly fixed your posture and tried to think of the solution you could possibly do. But to your surprised, Minji wiped her tears and pulled out a pen and paper as she began writing on it and she showed you what she wrote.

"It's not my fault why you're crying? Then umm.. Why.. Did you suddenly cry?"

She began to write again then showed you after she was finished.

"I was just touched by what you did Oppa. No one has been this kind to me other than my father"

You wanted to cry as well seeing how harsh the world was towards Minji. She was such an innocent soul yet the world hated her for being such an angel. It was this day you swore to protect and help Minji get past her trauma of people and nothing will stop you from protecting her no matter what.

"Ah by the way Minji, I bought you snacks you might like."

You gave her the strawberry filled bread and the milk flavored drink as Minji squealed in delight. She jumped a little as she hugged you suddenly which caught you by suprised. Minji hugged you so tightly and felt the sincerity in her hug. You stroked the hair of Minji and chuckled happily.

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TIMESKIP: 6 MONTHS

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6 months have passed by and Minji has finally decided to enter a school near your own school where you attended. It was surely a suprised especially your step-father considering how much he didn't want her daughter to experience bullying anymore. But one part of him also wanted her daughter to have a normal student life outside of her own room and her decision was possible because of you as well.

During the months of you and Minji hanging out in the house, you would tell stories to Minji about your daily school life and the good times you did while being a student. Of course you removed some parts that could potentially trigger her trauma as you were very careful with your words. You would sometimes cut off your sentence and change the subject immediately especially when you realize that the words that will come out of your mind may make Minji uncomfortable.

Soobin and Yeonjun also found it weird how you were going home more earlier now than before but Soobin being the best wing man you have, would often tell him of the same excuse over and over again and Yeonjun would fall for it all over again and again.

All though your step father was against it at first, you helped Minji explain to him the importance of Minji attending school at least once in her youth especially since she's a teenager. It took sometime of convincing and a lot of Minji crying but your stepfather agreed to enroll Minji for one semester only. Even though it wasn't that long, Minji rejoiced as she hopped around with her tiny jumps and gave her father a warm hug.

Everything was going well for Minji for her first 2 weeks as she was all smiles and would tell you stories of her school experience in her notebook. But what really made you happy for her was when she told you of her friend Pham Hanni. She was also a transfer student from a different country and Hanni guided her through out the school. You could still see how happy she was when she told you about her first friend but that happiness could only last for a few seconds.

Minji has suddenly been going home lately and it also didn't help that you mother and step father has been into arguments a lot lately due to some financial issues regarding your step father's business. Of course you find it annoying how loud they could be but you feel more bad towards Minji as you have learned that she wasn't fond of arguments and fighting.

Things took a big dip as Minji was once again late to go home as you had enough of this and decided to check out her school and on what's she's been up to. As the final bell was rang, you picked up your bag and immediately left class which Yeonjun and Soobin was used by now as they just shrugged their shoulder at you. The walk towards her school wouldn't be much time consuming as it was just at best a 10 to 7 minute walk or if your sprinting, it would only take 2 minutes. Knowing that Minji's dismissal time was 30 minutes ahead of you, you were sure that Minji would be still in school so you arrived at their school gate looking for her. All the students eyes were on you as they didn't expect another student to enter their campus that easily.

Walking up the stairs of her classroom, you entered it and saw that Minji was nowhere to be found but there was a few students that was still in the room that could tell you where Minji is. Particular, you saw a bunny looking girl who was staring at you intently.

"Excuse me but have you seen Kim Minji?"

"Minji? She went out earlier with that jerk Haesul. Well technically speaking, him and his circle called Minji out."

Furious, anger, murder, genocide. All of this emotion was rilled up into you as your fist turn into a ball and your eyes showed fire in em. The girl felt scared at your murderous face as you asked her where they could be.

"T-They could be at the back side of the school near the trash area..."

You noticed how scared the girl looked at you as you sighed and calmed your nerves down. Minji was in danger but there was no reason for you to be angry at someone who has no affiliate with the assholes.

"I'm sorry for scaring you. But what's your Name?"

"Pham.. Pham Hanni."

"Pham Hanni? Ah! The girl that Minji told me all about. Thank you for being her friend."

You sincerely bowed at the girl who was shocked by you sincerely as she just waved her hand off at you.

"It's okay Oppa. I should be the one apologizing for not doing anything to stop those jerks from approaching Minji. I'm so sorry."

You could only chuckle at the girl and smile at her. You know very well that Hanni was also a shy girl like Minji so having a confrontation would also be too much for her.

"It's alright Hanni. You don't have to worry about it. I'll take care of this problem."

You smiled and left the classroom looking for Minji as your eyes darted everywhere observing and noticing the small details of their school.

"For a middle school class, this sure looks prestigious. How come there's bullying here?"

That was your thought until you finally saw Minji being cornered by 5 guys. Your blood boiled immediately as your animalistic instinct kicked in.

"Come on Kim Minji, if you don't answer me then we're dating."

Haesul said as his friends cheer him on. He was basically taking her disability to his advantage as Minji was scared for her life. Her knees were shivering and her heart was beating so fast. She could feel her head spinning from the amount of stress she was facing and her vision was slowly doubling.

"Hey since you're quiet, that means we're dating right? Right? Then I should kiss you to seal the deal right?"

His friends started to cheer him on as this only made her more anxious than before. Her trauma began to climb back up her mind as Haesul smirked and was inching himself closer to her. He didn't leave any space for Minji to breath as Minji closed her eyes as she screamed out the name in her mind the person she wanted to see.

"Y/N OPPA!!!!"

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"Oi, what do you think your doing to my sister?"

You pushed the face of Haesul off Minji immediately and pushed him away giving them space which Minji was so glad to have. She opened her eyes and there she saw a familiar back. The back that she adored so much and the back that will always protect her. She began to sob silently as her tears began to slowly descend her cheeks.

"Hey, who do you think you are?"

Haesul asked as he looked you up and down which you didn't back away from. In your mind, they were in a teenage phase where they think they can take on anyone. You also have to be careful considering you were a high schooler and not a middle school student unlike them.

"Her brother obviously, now back off."

You tried your best to intimidate them yet they didn't falter. They only laughed at you finding it amusing that her brother was defending her.

"Listen pal, me and Minji are a thing. And you're-"

"Who?"

This made Haesul scoffed as he didn't expect you to cut him off so easily. His patience was slowly dying down.

"Me, Haesu-"

"Asked."

You once again cut him off and this time, he didn't take it lightly as he punched your face in annoyance. Minji widen her eyes in pure horror as she watches her precious brother eat a punch to his face. You wanted to retaliate immediately after that punch but you held back as fighting a middle schooler would be an embarrassment for you. You fell unto the floor but stood up and even smirked at him.

"That all you got kid?"

"You bastard-"

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SMACK

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"Kids I tell yah, they think their inferior or something sometimes."

Yeonjun spoke making you look behind you and seeing Him and Soobin standing together. Yeonjun's drink was splashed into Haseul's head and it's remains was slowly walking down his face.

"Yeonjun, Soobin? What are you two doing here?"

Soobin sighed and pointed at Yeonjun.

"This bastard wanted to see you so we followed you and here we are."

You were grateful for their rescue as this was an opportunity for you to take Minji out of this mess. You grabbed her hand and both of you began to walk away as you said

"Can you two give them the old Special? They messed someone important to me."

Soobin sighed while Yeonjun smiled like a maniac.

"Suuure~"

"Alright, I won't let that slide anyway."

Both Yeonjun and Soobin said respectively as you gave them a nod while pulling and holding the hand of Minji. You wanted to get the clear picture of what's really going on. Minji can clearly see how mad you are as this made her feel bad for herself. She stopped walking which also made you stop on your tracks. You looked back and saw Minji crying softly as this broke your heart. You hated seeing Minji cry or sad as you let go of her hand.

"Minji I... I'm sorry. I didn't know you were being bullied and-"

Minji didn't let you continue as she suddenly hugged you tightly as she cried her heart out. You didn't know why she was crying this much but you just relate it back to her being bullied. But in reality, she felt so sorry for you because you had to save her and you even got punched back. She hated herself for what happened earlier but she was also grateful for saving her back then. Her heart was beating so fast and she was so flustered being this close to you but she didn't care. All that mattered for her right now is that she was in your arms comforting her.

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TIMESKIP: 3 MONTHS

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Ever since that accident, Minji has changed rather weirdly towards you. Everytime you would arrive home, she would hug you tightly and wouldn't let go for a minute. She has also been very clingy towards you either it be playing video games, eating your food or even reading a book. She would either give you a back hug which she will stay for a long time or she would hug your arm and watch you play your video game or sleep on your shoulder.

You don't mind Minji being clingy towards you but you just find it weird how she's acting towards you. Especially sometimes she would sneak into your bed and snuggle with you. You find this action very weird but you just let her as everytime you would push her away, she would only cling to you tighter. It was a losing game if you fight her off so you just let her be and sleep.

Although your relationship with Minji was great, your parents wasn't. Their arguments has become more often which lead to Minji leaving the table and sleeping at your room and clinging towards you. You could only sigh at them and their argument has finally come to a close when the two decided to have a divorce. Upon hearing this, you were sadden because the reason why they were arguing was something they can't control.

Apperently, your stepfather was setup to marry a woman he doesn't even love due to his business. He tried to fight for his love towards your mother but in the end, he lose the battle. He apologized to you and your mother sincerely as he admitted that your mother will always have a place in her heart. It was heartbreaking especially Minji who cried all night not leaving her room at all. You tried your best to convince her but to no vail. It also didn't help that after announcing their divorce, they were to leave the household the next day.

The dreadful day finally came as Minji finally came out of her room looking tired and lifeless. She moved towards her father's car with no motivation as all you can do was watch from afar. You clenched your fist as this was now or never. You have to say your goodbye to her.

"Hey, Kim Minji."

Calling her out made her finally look at you as you tried your best not to feel sad for her. With a deep breath you said

"I'll never forget you Minji. I'm sure we'll see each other again. For now, this is goodbye but someday this goodbye will turn to hello and we would be smiling to each other again."

You assured Minji that you two will see each other again and the possibility of having a reunion is always possible. Your warm smile radiated so much as Minji will surely miss it. Minji smiled back knowing this was the last time you'll be seeing her smile warmly at you.

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TIMESKIP: 5 YEARS LATER

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"Fuck this. I can't even finish this one subject."

You sighed as you and your 2 college buddies wore a boring and exhausted face as the test earlier really drained your energy.

"That test is straight up bullshit. How can He give questions that are not even taught to us? Like how? What the hell?"

Felix, your first friend said as you nodded your head.

"Yeah shit mate, tell me about it ey. Being dumb and unattractive is a painful combination to have. I mean look at us mate, we're dumb and no girlfriend."

Christopher Chan, your second friend said as you scoffed at his comment. Sure you had your few runs on some blind dates but it all ended in vain as nobody was able to click your interest. Not only that, but the subjects you were taking in university had taken a huge toll on your time.

"But I did hear a new student in campus is beautiful as fuck. Some are even saying she's sculpted by the gods."

Felix explain the rumor that was going through around the campus lately. Of course you were caught by this rumor as you would be lying if you say that you weren't interested in such topic. Chan just scoffed and said

"Ain’t no way Mate. That's just a rumor ey. If that is true then I'm betting my Straykids Photocard right now."

Felix smirked and nodded his head.

"Alright, I'll bet my Izone Chaewon photocard for that."

"Oooh it's on mate-"

The two shook hand behind you as they glared one another as if they were ready to go to war at each other. You on the other hand was lost in your thoughts as a sudden memory of Minji appeared on your head. There was no moment where you can't forgot about the time you and Minji spent together. There would be times where you would ask yourself if Minji was alright and doing well. It's been 5 years since you last saw each other and there was no form of communication between you two. There was fear within yourself that Minji must have forgotten about you considering it wasn't even a year since you two met and made memories.

"I wonder what's Minji doing now. She would probably be in college right now as well."

You could only sigh as you continued to walk leaving your two friends arguing with each other. You enjoyed the silence of the campus as the soft breeze pass by the threes. It's cute whistle was good music in your opinion-

"Y/N Oppa?"

You turned your head towards the voice was and you widen your eyes. You stood frozen to your feet as a girl stared at you. Something about her seems so familiar yet you couldn't pin point it.

"M-Minji? I-Is that you?"

Upon hearing your voice. Minji smiled brightly and dashed towards you hugging you tightly. The familiar feeling of comfort and sweetnes returned to you as memories flashed through your mind. Minji was back in your arms and was able to-

"Wait Minji, you can talk now?"

Minji pulled away from you as her smile never disappeared from her face. She nodded her head vigorously indicating that your assumption is correct.

"Yes, My Dad found a really good doctor in America and with enough therapy, I got my voice back."

"That’s... That's awesome! Your-mmhpjh?"

Minji placed a finger on your mouth telling you to shut it as she giggled and removed it. Seeing Minji again for so long made you see how beautiful she really was.

"Oppa. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"What? What do you mea-"

"No, actually I don't care if you have one or even if it's a 3D woman. I'm gonna steal you from her."

Now that was a bold statement coming from her.

"Wait Minji. Did your personality changed too?"

"Hmm? Nope. I love you Oppa. Be my boyfriend."

"Wait what?"

You were stunned to speak yet Minji smiled happily and to add more suprise, She kissed your cheeks leaving you a blushing mess. She could only giggle at your red tomato head and flustered face.

"Since we're no longer Step siblings. I'm legally allowed to marry you. And for the record, I actually fell in love with you when you saved me from those bullies before.”

Her smile never disappeared yet you were to perplexed to say anything. You also found it very weird how your heart was racing to the max and Minji was now looking more prettier than before. When you finally got your senses back, the first words that came out of your mouth was

“You like me?”

She giggled and nodded her head. 

“Shall I prove it?”

Minji closed the gap between you and her as she grabbed your cheeks and pulled you down to her level and kissed your forehead. Butterflies and fireworks was all over your body as you felt explosions everywhere. Minji has changed as the shy cute girl was gone and infront of you was a more mature beautiful version of Minji.

 “Let's go Oppa. Help me around Campus will yah? hehehe~"

Without even saying a thing, Minji hooked her arm around yours and pulled you away from your spot. You were taking everything in but if there was thing on your head, it was that.....

"Minji likes me? And I think.....I like her too...”

.

.

.

.

[hinamie]

sorry if youve talked about this before, but do you have any tips relating to your coloring process? i ADOREE the way you render things and it looks soso cool and once i saw a post where you said your art typically only took a couple hours and i was in SHOCK. cuz ive been working on a yuji piece that has a similarish (not really but idk how to describe it…) coloring style and ive been working at it for. about a month now…sorry this is rambly i hope u have a good day!!!

hi!!! first of all thank you so much I'm happy you like the way I render! honestly it Is still the aspect of drawing that takes the longest for me, I've only recently started to come up with ways to streamline my process (mainly through keeping my layers/brushes limited and overall being less anal about details) . these days my average drawing does take about 2.5-4 hours I'd say, with Big Illustrations obviously being the exception

i wouldn't beat yourself up too much about taking longer to finish a drawing tho ! it took me. a While to learn how to speed up and honestly my biggest piece of advice is loosen up and let certain things look imperfect or unfinished ! and if you're like i was and want to work at getting faster then i would recommend practicing churning out sketchy/rough pieces and see what tricks and habits you can implement or adjust to save time

all that being said I realize haven't done an updated overview of my colouring/rendering process so I guess this can be that ! I'll put it under the cut because i too like to ramble and this Will get long

lineart and base colour/underpainting

my lineart is nearly Always on multiply. it helps the lines stand out less starkly against the colours and makes it so that I don't have to change the colour of as many sections of lines later on

the base colour layer is honestly completely optional, tbh i sometimes skip it so you don't Have to have one but i like it for a few reasons: - I like to keep all my colours on the same layer so if i'm going for a painterly style this serves as an underpaint layer of sorts . having this means that when i paint, whatever colour i have here will blend with all the other colours i use and help them look cohesive - even if I'm not painting, i still like to work with all my colours on the same layer and it helps me make sure I'm not missing any spots, which helps when it comes time to section individual areas off in the next steps

2. flats

lock transparency button my beloved . this makes it so that you're only able to paint on areas where there is Already colour (which is where having an underpaint layer comes in handy)

not much else to say about this step, just choosing colours rly !

3. shading

here's where the fun starts ! since i'm working all on one layer, i use the wand or lasso tool to section off whatever area I want to work on, then go in with (usually) one of the three brushes below: from left to right 1. my favourite dry brush that i use to cover large areas, it has an amazing dry paint stroke-y texture and i use it in everything. great for skin/clothes/hair/fur/organic material...she does it all 2. smaller, blendier/smoother brush that I use to soften out the rougher edges left by the first brush. I find it's really good for hair and small clothing creases 3. rough pen brush that I use to add little bits of flavour in the form of crosshatches or stray lines, usually to hint at individual hair strands! I also use it to line sometimes but I'm using it less for that recently

also, since the lineart layer is set to multiply, it's super easy to colour directly under the lines on my colour layer and use that as a way to make certain lines Darker . it's most obvious at the eyelashes and under the jaw but I do it everywhere

4. finishing touches and texture overlay

here I add another layer above the multiply/lineart layer and use it to add highlights and other details! this is also the layer i use to paint directly on top of any areas that got messy or need extra definition

my texture overlay of choice is just a rough monochrome static file that I got on the csp assets page but use whatever you'd like tbh ! set the layer mode to overlay and adjust the opacity to your liking (I also like to rasterize the layer to make it easier to work with but it's not too consequential if you skip that step since you're basically done by this point anyway)

And done ! slap a signature on that bad boy and send it <3

[miyaniacs]

Corrupted by Darkness

- Chapter 6 -

Chapter 5 ; Wattpad ; AO3

A/N: Heyy... sorry for not updating... Work and Uni were occupying me... But here it issss the next chapter :) Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback the past days <3 

'What are you starring at?' Xaden smirks. 

'Garrick's arms' I respond and smile to myself when I see Xaden glancing to his left at Garrick , while flexing his own arms. 

"Ready for flying lessons?" I ask my friends and steal a pice of the apple Rhi was just cutting.

"That's the only thing I'm exited for today." Rhi sighs. 

"Honey, we need to study later. No buts." I laugh. 

"Has any of you seen Dain tho?" Liam asks. 

"Nooo... I need my flying break." Rhi whines. 

"Let's just go to the field and see if he's there." I suggest, hoping as much as Rhi that we get that break. Or more to get a break to fake that everything's fine.

Talking about Liam's embarrassing childhood story's we make our way to the flying field. 

"Liam. A worm isn't an acceptable gift for the girl you liked." Rhi laughs. 

"I was 5 okay?!" Liam defends himself, walking a bit faster and turning around to face Rhi, while continuing to walk backwards. "As a little boy a worm is something cool so I wanted to gift the girl something cool? That's just logical?" 

"It is not logical." Ridoc agrees. 

"He's always been strange." Another voice joins our conversation and I immediately roll my eyes. Not him please. 

"You are supposed to be on my side Riorson." Liam points his finger to the person behind us. 

"I'm on no ones side here." He answers and laughs. 

"What are you even doing here." I look over my shoulder glancing at him. 

"Being a good wingleader and taking over your flying lessons, since Dain's not able to make it."

"What's wrong with him?" Ridoc asks and turns to his left, looking at Xaden who's by now walking next to us. 

"Didn't care enough to ask." Xaden shrugs. 'And I never seen Noctis in action.' 

Rolling my eyes I look ahead on the filed, where our dragons already landed. Or to be more precise their dragons already landed, mine not. 

'Where are you?' I ask him. 

'Discussion.' He answers shortly. 

'And how am I supposed to be flying now?'

'Non of you will if I don't finish this discussion so be quiet now.' And he cuts me off. 

"Where's Noctis?" Rhi asks and looks around.

"Discussion." I repeat what he told me and roll my eyes at her. 

"What with who?" Rhi asks confused. 

"Sgaeyl." Xaden sighs. 

"Sga- why?" I look up at him. 

"Oh he didn't told you?" He raises his eyebrows. 

"Told me what?" 

"You could say that he's her .... Well.. ex." He says and looks at me desperately. 

"Dragons have Ex's?" Liam asks and looks up to his dragon, which seems to nod. Before I can ask Xaden what that means, a sound close to thunder echos though the field. The other dragons shield there riders while moving backwards. Looking up, there's a giant navy blue dragon and a swirl of dark shadows.

"Someone's dying today." I sigh and run my hand over my head. Sgaeyl and Noctis land simultaneously on the field, Noctis still not fully materialized. The other dragons jump backwards as the two of them make their way over to us, teeth snapping at each other. 

"For once I agree with you." Xaden looks down at me, his eyes showing the same distress mine do. 

'You know the saying's ladies first, right?' I roll my eyes at him, which results in a now fully materialized teeth snapping at me. 

With a sigh I crawl up on Noctis back and open my connection to Xaden, 'Okay how are we going to survive this?' I ask him. 'Well... let him fly behind Sgaeyl and she'll be fine.' He suggests. 'Okay good for her and you, but not for me?' - 'Not my problem.' Xaden laughs and Sgaeyl immediately takes off into the sky. 

If it wasn't for Noctis keeping my up, I would have fallen off of him by the way he shoots up in the air. 

'COULD YOU CALM DOWN?' I scream at him. 

______

Looking at the water on my nightstand I sigh. I'm thirsty... but is it really worth it moving my body to reach it? Every muscle in my body hurts. The flying lesson was pure torture, I fell off of him about four times, not counting the one I his magic kept me on him, while I was dangerously slipping to one side. Trying to rob up a bit, I almost scream at how much my arms hurt. The water is definitely not worth it. 

'Noctis..?'

'Hello?'

'Are you for real still ignoring me?'

'...what do you want.' Noctis deep voice echos through my head. 

' For you to talk to me.'

'Well it's a clear night isn't it?' 

'It is. So what happened between you and Sgaeyl?'

'Nothing that should interest you.' he mumbles. 

'Oh please says the one that's always getting involved in my life.' I roll my eyes, ' Noctis...you've been there for me before so I'm here for you too if you need me.' I say softly. He's always been alone for god who knows how many centuries. I get that he's used to dealing with stuff on his own,..., and that opening up isn't the thing he tends to do... funny enough he kind of reminds me of me of Azriel. Immediately after he crosses my mind again, i feel a sting in my heart. 

'Please stop thinking about him. You're too good to be treated that way.' Noctis answers, his voice way more softly than usual. 

'I know I know...' I sigh and nuzzle deeper into my pillow. 

'We had something ...' Noctis suddenly says. 

'Xaden mentioned she's your Ex?' I ask. 

'Well yeah you could say that...I ended things with her...not in the nicest way.' 

'That explains why she's so mad at you.' I laugh, 'Why did you end it?'

'I started to like her...' he grumbles. 

'Noctis. You're telling me you ended things with her... because you liked her?! I should slap you in her behalf.'

'As if I'd even feel that.' He huffs, ' But yes i did.' His voice sounds nostalgic now. 

'You still feel like you made a mistake...' I whisper, his feelings flowing over to me. 

' I promised to wait for someone. She saved my life a long time ago... our souls are linked.' 

'She's your mate?' I asked. 

'More than the mates you know... or the ones other dragons know.' 

'Where is she now?'

'She locked herself away... she lost faith in this earth and well... in herself.'  I waited for him to continue, not daring to interrupt him now.

'We can share our powers and one day, she took some of mine. It was an unspoken agreement between us, that we keep our powers balanced. I was mad at her and left her for a some years, retracing myself from every fae or humankind. Things got worse... the power was too much for her and she lost control. I tried to help her, saving her from herself...' I feel like crying, all of his emotions are too much for me. 

'Fae and Humans agreed to a pact trying to kill me... they thought I was the reason for all the wrongs they lived through. Before you ask, their spell couldn't kill me... she didn't need to do all of that... San didn't need to kill all of them.' The last part of his sentence, is barely more than a whisper now. 

'San?' I carefully ask. 

'Sanguis. That's her full name.' The way he says her name sounds like a prayer, 'She killed everyone who was there. They started bleeding until there was nothing left.'

'Bleeding? As in...' Despite my arching muscles I shoot up in my bed.

'Yes... the blood manipulation is her power. You're... you're bonded to her as well.' 

[hellohannie]

Return of the Enchantress (m) | ljh

“𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙚.”

a year ago, jihoon had come across a forest nymph who had inadvertently stolen his heart. after a passionate night together, they agreed to meet again exactly a year later. here jihoon was now, exactly a year, down to the second, later. will you come to him? will he finally be able to take you home? part of the enchantress of the forest series. read part one here!

♡ PLAYERS - lee jihoon x reader

♡ WORD COUNT - 6.3K

♡ TAGS - fantasy au, faerie!reader, fluff, minor angst, smut (MDNI): fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), dirty talk, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it friends)

♡ NOTES - hi everyone! thank you so much for waiting patiently for me. things have been hectic for me and i haven't had the time to really sit and write. i also found myself just hating everything i wrote so i didn't want to upload anything

unfortunately, i don't see my update schedule being any quicker or more consistent in the near future, so i apologize for that. still, thank you to everyone who likes, comments and reblogs, it lets me know that there are people who enjoy my content, and it motivates me to write more!

THERE WILL BE A PART 3 and i promise it'll be updated sooner. i'm actually already a third of the way done with it right now. i just figured it would be better to split this part into two, so that's why there's another part. so please look forward to some conflicts and jihoon in faerieland? *wink wink*

i hope you all enjoy, and please be sure to interact! i love the feedback!

Jihoon’s breaths were loud and heavy as he sprinted through the forest, leaves and branches crunching under his footsteps. He glanced at the watch on his wrist. 5:58am. He pushed himself to run faster. He had two more minutes before the sun broke the horizon. Two more minutes until it was exactly a year since he last saw you. He thought about this moment every day for the past year and by God, did he hope you’d be waiting for him like he imagined in his dreams. 

The campsite loomed into view as Jihoon came to a stop and took in his surroundings. The tent was gone, but the ring of bricks surrounding the bonfire was still there, only now covered in moss from lack of use. Jihoon’s chest felt tight as he remembered the way you were perched in front of it that fateful night, the first time he saw you. 

Jihoon then walked up to the large oak tree you disappeared behind that next morning, staring in hopes that you’d materialize in front of it. He felt a buzz on his wrist. It was his watch telling him a new hour had started. It was six. The sky around him was a blend of pinks and blues and oranges as the sun arose, waking up the world. 

Suddenly, Jihoon felt an itch on his pinky. “No, no no no.” He whispered, holding his left hand up to his face. It was his flower ring. The once perfectly bloomed dandelion was now dried and scratching his skin. The enchantment was gone. 

Jihoon slid to his knees as he began to imagine the worst. It had been exactly a year since you left. You promised to meet him here, but you were nowhere to be found. Not only that, the enchantment on his ring was gone. That could only mean one thing. You must’ve lost your magic. The Queen must’ve denied your request to live on Earth and punished you. 

Jihoon began to cry, wracked with guilt at the thought that it was his fault that you were met with such a fate. “Y/N,” he whimpered. “I’m so sorry-”

“Jihoon?” 

The blond snapped his head up, brushing tears out of his eyes to clear his sight. There you stood, silhouetted by the backlight of the sun, like a vision from the dreams that plagued his every second. Jihoon shook his head as if clearing cobwebs from his mind, making sure that what he was seeing was reality and not a delusion. 

“Jihoon Darling,” you took a step forward, concerned. “You are crying.”

Jihoon stayed frozen on the forest floor, staring at you. He was spellbound, reminded again of how beautiful you truly were. Like the first time he saw you, you were wearing a white dress that flowed like water around your calves as it caught the wind. However, the dress was far more intricate this time, with the sleeves coming to capped hems just below your elbow, causing the fabric to bubble around your arm like a balloon. The neckline was trimmed with eyelet lace, as was the skirt hem. The fabric was cinched in at your waist, held tight with a glimmering fabric tied into a bow. 

Your hair had been loose and curled in ringlets a year ago, but now, it was weaved into a long, thick braid hanging over your shoulder. Millions of little flowers adorned the silky strands from the crown of your head to the very tip of the braid. 

Jihoon’s eyes flitted across your face as you moved closer, taking in the details that had faded in his memory through the year. He re-memorized everything, from the slant of your eyes to the arch of your brows, the high bridge of your nose, the glimmer in your eyes as you looked at him so lovingly. The movement of your plush lips caught his attention first before your tinkling voice registered in his ears.

“Jihoon,” you giggled as he flinched, snapping himself out of your reverie. By now, you had crouched in front of him, hands placed gently at his elbows.  “Come, let’s get you to your feet.”

As soon as you were both standing, Jihoon lunged to wrap his arms around your waist and lift you into a tight embrace. He felt all the tension leave his body as he heard your laughter in his ears and felt your arms glide around his neck. You were here. Finally.

“I missed you,” he murmured into the crook of your neck, breathing in the familiar petrichor scent that bled from your skin. “I missed you Faerie-”

“Ah,” you interrupted. “That, I am no longer.” You pulled back with a serene expression as Jihoon set you on your feet.

“What?”

“I am no longer a Faerie.” 

That was when Jihoon realized that while there were so many parts of you that remained unchanged from the last time he saw you, there were also parts that were different. Your pointed ears were now rounded at the tips, and while you felt warm in his grasp, you did not feel nearly as fragile as before. Perhaps the biggest difference of all, you did not have the glow around your body that had first caught Jihoon’s attention all those days ago. Your skin didn’t shimmer as if you were otherworldly. Nothing about you screamed otherworldly. You look like him. You looked…

“Human,” Jihoon gasped. “You’re human? Meeting with the Queen, it worked?”

You nodded, a hand hesitantly reaching up to cup his cheek. “Are you disappointed? That I am ordinary.”

“No,” he responded fiercely, pulling you in closer by your waist. “You are not ordinary and you could never disappoint me. If you’re human, that means you left your world for me. A woman who is so brave as to leave behind all she’s ever known and loved for me is…is anything but ordinary.” He pressed his forehead to yours, the tips of your noses brushing against each other. “I was worried this day would never come, that I would never get to hold you, kiss you, tell you that I love you.”

“You do not have to worry any longer, sweet Jihoon, I’m yours. Eternally.” 

Jihoon is unsure who leaned in first, all he is aware of is the feeling of your pillowy lips against his own, and the feeling of finally being at home. His hands trailed up your sides up to your jaw, tipping your head back to deepen the kiss. You parted your lips in a soft sigh, and Jihoon took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. With a quiet moan, you pushed your body closer to his, your kisses picking up speed. 

“Jihoon,” you murmured, but he quickly silenced you with another kiss. 

“Missed you so much, Y/N,” he groaned, lips brushing against yours with every word. “Missed you so much, don’t wanna let go, wish we could just teleport home.” 

You slid your fingers into his hair, using the grip to tug him back. “Jihoon,” you said, a bit more sternly, with a sheepish grin. His eyes slid open lazily. “I’m afraid we have company.” Your eyes glanced to your right. His followed and widened as he took in the forest animals that encircled the two of you. All around him, perched in the grass were golden deer and silver bunnies, russet foxes and red squirrels. There were hummingbirds and butterflies littering the trees, while fireflies and honey bees buzzed around in the air. 

You slipped out from his arms and glided over to a shimmering deer, gently petting its head. “There are my friends,” you turned to give Jihoon a blinding smile. “They kept me company as I looked after my part of the forest, long before I met you.” 

Jihoon stared in awe as the animals moved to be near you, reveling in your laughter as you let the wildlife jump into your lap or sit on your shoulders. However, despite your laughter, Jihoon thought he could hear crying and whining. You must’ve heard the same because you said, “They are confused why I can no longer understand them and why they can no longer understand me.”

That’s right, Jihoon thought, when she was a faerie, she could communicate with them, but now that she’s given up her powers…

“Do you mind if I sing to them one last time before we go? They used to fall asleep to the sound of my voice, and I do not want them to see me leave. I would rather their last memory of me be something blissful.”

Jihoon nodded, taking a seat in the grass. Goosebumps arose on his skin as you began to sing, your voice both captivating and soothing. He watched as the animals around you began to lay down, eyes falling closed as your song sent them into dreamland. Jihoon, too, closed his eyes, not because he was falling asleep, but to give you even a semblance of privacy. Your song was not only a goodbye to your friends, but a goodbye to the only life you’d ever known, a life Jihoon was never a part of. It didn’t feel right to intrude on this last moment of yours. 

By the time the two of you made your trek back to the houses the boys stayed at last time, the sun was already high in the sky. You did all of the talking, rambling on about the land of Faerie, and what you’d been doing this past year.

“I’ll admit,” you said, swinging yours and Jihoon’s arms as you walked, “The Queen was rather shocked when I made my request. I’d never expressed discontent with my position as a forest nymph before, so asking to have my powers stripped was unexpected. However, when I told her it was because I had fallen in love…” You looked up at him with an affectionate smile. “Well, she said it was the first time she was delighted to strip a Faerie of their powers.”

Jihoon sighed in relief. “I’m not going to lie, I was worried she might not have taken it so well.” He lifted your interlocked hands up and wiggled his pinky, the dried flower ring still wrapped around it. “When this happened, I was afraid you’d been punished.”

“Ah,” you soothed, “That must’ve been because my powers could no longer uphold the enchantment. There’s no need to worry, see?” You hopped in front and turned to face him, arms spread wide. “I’m just fine and here with you. We don’t need enchanted rings anymore. I can make you a new one every morning.”

Jihoon could feel his heart swell with adoration, your optimism endearing and contagious. Just as he stepped forward to swing you into his arms again, a soccer ball came rolling on the ground, bumping against your bare feet. 

You made a questioning sound, bending to pick up the ball. “What is this?” You held it up to your face, brows furrowed in scrutiny. 

“I’m so sor-woah,” a boy with brown and blond streaked hair jogged towards you, eyes wide, arms frozen from where they had been reaching to take the ball from you. “Who are you?”

You tilted your chin up slightly, face blank as you held yourself with an air of regality, similar to when you first encountered Jihoon. “I am Y/N, a forest n- I am Y/N. You are?”

The boy, still awe-struck, responded, “I’m wondering where you’ve been all my life.”

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon snapped from his spot slightly behind you. He took the ball gently from your fingers before chucking it at his friend’s shoulder. This shocked Soonyoung out of his trace and he glared at Jihoon while clutching his arm. 

“Ow!”

“Soonyoung?” you whispered, unminding of the squabble happening next to you. “Soonyoung!” You explained louder, this time catching the boys’ attention. “You’re Jihoon’s best friend!”

Jihoon flushed bright red and Soonyoung began to coo, “Awhhh Jiiiii~ You’ve been telling strangers I’m your best friendddd~ Wait!” Soonyoung’s head snapped towards you. “Oh my God you’re the girl from the forest! The nymph!” He snatched up your hand and gave you a vigorous handshake. “Does this mean you’re coming home with us? Jihoon refused to tell us anything about you, wanted to keep you a secret.”

Your eyes darted between the hyper boy in front of you and the stoic one to the right, the latter rolling his eyes. “Yeah yeah, this is her, now let go,” Jihoon jerked Soonyoung back with a grip on his shoulder. 

You laughed, a bit endeared by the energy vibrating in Soonyoung. He reminded you of the little pixies from home that zipped around from place to place in the blink of an eye. “It is nice to meet you Soonyoung. I hope you don’t mind that I’ll be joining you on your journey home.”

He shook his head frantically, “Of course not! C’mon,” he grabbed your elbow, albeit gently, “Everyone else has been dying to meet you!”

Soonyoung directed you towards the smattering of houses, Jihoon following closely behind. As the three of you approached, you could hear a cacophony of voices and laughter. Soonyoung brought you to an open space covered by a canopy, where eleven other boys were bent over something. The smell of food and smoke engulfed you as the boy holding your arm yelled, “Guys she’s here!”

In unison, all the heads snapped towards you. You took a step back into Jihoon’s chest, his hands coming to rest reassuringly on your shoulders. It was silent for just a moment before all hell broke loose. 

“Oh my God!”

“You made it!”

“Oh she’s so precious!”

“I told you she’d come back!”

“Ugh fine you were right, here’s the $20 bucks.”

“Wait,” Jihoon moved you to the side and stepped towards two of the boys. “You bet on us?”

As the boys struggled to defend themselves, a familiar blond with long hair stepped towards you, a kind smile on his face. You recognized him from a year ago. He was at the tent with his partner the night before you met Jihoon. The one you thought might have Faerie blood running through his veins. 

“Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Jeonghan. This is Joshua,” he gestured to the man standing beside him, “We were at the forest last year too.”

“I remember,” you ducked your head, wishing your hair was loose so it would hide your flushed cheeks. You remembered coming across their intimate moment, trying not to intrude, but unable to block out the noise due to your enhanced senses. Although, even now, without your powers, it was obvious these men were fated mates. They were truly in love. 

Jeonghan and Joshua held back their laughter, not wanting to embarrass you any further.  

Joshua leaned down a bit, lowering his voice. “I hope you don’t mind that we sent Jihoon to your forest the next day. He was feeling a bit stressed, and we hoped a night away would bring him some peace.”

You flushed even more at this, your collarbones starting to turn red. “It’s alright. I’m…thankful. Actually,” you picked your head up, looking them both in the eyes before clasping your hands in front of you and dipping into a slight curtsey, “I’m indebted to you both, for bringing my soulmate to me. I’m not sure we would ever have met if not for you.”

Jeonghan stepped forward, bringing you back to standing with a hold on your upper arms. “There is no need for that. You are one of us now Y/N, you’re family. Family does not hold debts.” Joshua nodded, giving you a soft pet on the back of your head. 

Your chest felt warm. Family. You did not have a family in Faerieland. Yes you had friends of all different species, but no one that called you family. “I never had anyone to call family at home.”

The boys shared a pitying glance before bringing you into an embrace. “Well then,” said Joshua, “We are honored to be the first to call you sister.”

You sniffled, and it was loud enough to catch Jihoon’s attention. “She’s been here all of five minutes and the evil twins are already making her cry,” he grumbled, pulling you into his side. “C’mon let’s go inside before the rest of them harass you even more.”

You and Jihoon walked into the warm dining hall together, his brothers’ (and now your brothers’) laughter echoing behind you. 

“Lunch is served!” the tallest boy, who you now know as Mingyu, announced as he took the lids off the twenty something dishes lining the lengthy table. You were sitting in the middle of one of the benches, as per Jihoon’s insistence, something about it being easy to reach all the food. Jeonghan, who was sitting on the other side of you, nudged your waist with his elbow. You moved your gaze from the food to Jeonghan who motioned with his chin to the table. “Ladies first.”

It was only then that you noticed no one was filling their plates. Rather, they were all looking at you expectantly, but excitedly, especially Mingyu. You felt shy under their gazes. “I’m…I’m not familiar with human food,” you glanced at Jihoon before turning towards Mingyu. “Would you be able to describe your dishes to me?”

Mingyu was bouncing on his feet. “Of course! No one has ever asked me before! So this…” As Mingyu began to explain each dish to you, you felt your mouth start to water more and more. That is until he got to the center dish. “And this is the main course for today, galbi. It’s grilled beef short ribs-”

You shrieked in horror, hands covering your mouth as you shot to your feet. Everyone, including Jihoon, stared at you in concern. “Faerie, what’s wrong?”

“You all eat cows?” You were appalled, and even felt a bit sick. In Faerieland, cows were sacred. They provided the people of your land with milk which allowed you to create butter, cheese and other products, like in the human world. In addition however, cow’s milk in Faerieland had healing properties, and could be used in potions or with pixie dust to create potent magic. Cows were cared for, they were your friends. You couldn’t imagine taking their life and eating them. 

“I’m, I’m sorry, I-” you scrambled over the bench, giving them all a quick bow in apology. “I must step away.” You ran out the door.

The rest of the boys, in a stupor, turned to Jihoon for an explanation. The latter groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “I didn’t even realize, she probably doesn’t eat meat.” He quickly explained how the forest animals were your friends, so the same must be for all animals in Faerieland. “It’s my fault. I should’ve known better than to think the customs in our world would be the same as the ones in her world.”

“It’s ok Jihoon,” Seungcheol soothed. “You didn’t know. She’s not going to hold that against you. Now you know that there’s going to be a lot of things she needs to learn, but you won't be alone, we’ll all help, right?” He looked around the table. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

“Here Hyung,” Seungkwan handed Jihoon a plate full of vegetarian dishes. “Take this to her so she doesn’t starve. I think that’s a good place to start.”

Jihoon took the plate from the younger with a grateful look. “Thanks Kwan, thanks everyone.”

With that, he walked towards the guest house next to the mess hall calling out your name. “Y/N! Are you in here?” As he stepped into the house, he saw you curled into a ball, sitting on the couch. “Faerie, I’m so sorry. I should’ve remembered that our customs, including diets, are probably completely different. You even told me that animals are considered friends in Faerieland, I should’ve been more careful.”

“No,” you turned to face Jihoon who was sitting next to you on the couch, crossing your legs to sit criss-cross. “It is not your fault. I also should’ve been more composed. I hope you know I do not judge the food you eat. We all have different practices. There’s a lot I must learn about the human world, as expected. Mistakes will be made, but it is never the fault of you or I.” Your gaze shifted to the plate, and as if on cue, your stomach grumbled loudly. 

You shot Jihoon a sheepish look as he laughed endearingly. “Here, Seungkwan piled the plate with vegetables. Do you want to try?” You nodded excitedly. “Ok, here, this is kimchi,” he held the chopsticks up to your mouth, watching expectantly as you chewed. “Good?” Your eyes were wide. “Guess so,” he laughed, picking up something else with the chopsticks. “This is tofu, it is made from crushed beans...” Jihoon watched fondly as you ate everything on the plate, glad that he was able to at least provide some food that you liked. He would make sure to be more diligent in the future as you continued to navigate life in the human world.

That night, you and Jihoon came across another slight issue. After dinner (at which time you apologized to everyone for making a spectacle and for potentially offending them and thanked Mingyu for making extra vegetarian food for you this time), Jihoon asked you to get ready for bed in his room as the members discussed their plans to return to Seoul the next day. He was exhausted as he walked back to his room, stressed from how he was going to explain to the company that he returned from vacation with a girl. 

The shock he received when he opened the door however was enough to re-energize him. “Oh my God!” he shouted, quickly shutting the door behind him and turning to face it. “Why are you in your underwear?”

You answered innocently, “I always sleep like this. The cottages in our land get warm at night as we must close all the doors and windows. Though it is a bit cold in this room.”

Jihoon turned to catch a glimpse of your face, and saw goosebumps littering your skin. He quickly turned back around, moving to the closet near the door. He grabbed a soft shirt of his and tossed it over his shoulder towards where he hoped the bed was. “Put this on.”

The noise of clothes rustling filled the silence before you muttered, “Ok, done.”

Jihoon turned around, relieved that you were somewhat clothed now. “Faerie,” he knelt onto the bed beside you, but you refused to look at him, choosing to pick at a loose thread on the duvet. He placed a finger under your chin, turning your head towards him. Your lips were slightly pouted, eyes a bit teary. “I’m sorry for shouting, I was just surprised and also didn’t want anyone else to see you like that.” You nodded, understandingly. “But darling, you can’t just be in your underwear in the human world ok?”

You quirked your head in confusion. “Why not? It’s nothing you haven’t seen.”

Jihoon choked on his saliva. “I-yes that’s true, but it’s not so much that as it’s just common practice to wear clothes to bed. Sometimes, the room is really cold, so you’ll want to bundle up, understand?”

“Yeah…” you hesitated. “Ok. It’s just…This material is kind of scratchy.”

“That’s my fault,” Jihoon sighed. He never really cared too much about the condition of his home clothes, so usually, he’d just throw them in the washer and dryer without using softening agents. It was safe to say that quite a few of his clothes were not in the most pristine condition due to his lack of care. “I promise, as soon as we get back to Seoul tomorrow, we’ll go out and get you some comfortable clothes to sleep in.”

You conceded with a nod, leaning into his chest. “Are you excited to go home tomorrow?”

Jihoon shrugged. “I guess. I don’t necessarily want to get back to my usual life, but it’ll be nice to have you with me. Are you excited?”

You were silent for a while. “Would you be upset if I said no?”

Jihoon pulled you away from his chest by your shoulders. “No, but I’d be concerned. What’s the matter?”

You turned your gaze down to your lap. “It’s not that I’m not excited to live in your home, with you. It’s just that…I still feel a bit connected to Faerieland here, amongst the trees and nature. I suppose I’m just going to feel homesick for a while.”

“I understand that, Y/N, and it’s normal. Moving away from home is not easy, and the transition is hard. It might be even harder for you since this is a completely different world, I won’t lie, but I promise to be with you every step of the way. If you tell me whatever you're feeling, whenever you feel down, I’ll do everything I can to make it better, ok?” Jihoon cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs grazing your cheekbones. His eyes were so full of love, you couldn’t help but surge forward to kiss him. A gasp of surprise caught in his throat as he quickly reciprocated. 

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips. “Thank you for finding me, for loving me, for giving me hope that I belong somewhere, with someone, with you.” You brought your right hand up to his chest, placing it over his heart. He did the same, leaning in to kiss you in time with the synchronized beating of your hearts. 

“Wait,” Jihoon tried to speak, but you kept kissing him anyway. He chuckled, “Faerie, wait. We have to talk about the plan tomorrow.”

You shook your head vehemently, “Not right now.” You nipped at his bottom lip, smirking as he hissed. “Wanna keep doing this.” 

With a firm hand and the shock factor on your side, you pushed Jihoon down onto the bed, crawling to sit on his thighs. You traced a lone finger along his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, across his cheeks. Your lips followed behind your finger, peppering kisses to every inch of his face. Jihoon’s hands came to grip your waist tightly as you moved to his neck, kisses becoming more firm, teeth nipping at the skin. You slipped your hands under the hem of his shirt, your touch tickling his abdomen. 

Jihoon moved your face back to his, taking the lead to deepen the kiss this time. He moved a hand to your hair, fingers getting caught on the flowers thread into the ridges of the braids. Slowly, he sat up, still holding your body to his. Then he pulled away, pulling at the ribbon at the end of your braid, placing it gently on the bedside table. 

“Turn around,” he murmured. You did so, wondering what he was doing as you felt the bed dip behind you. Jihoon was kneeling now, delicately undoing your hair, taking care not to crush any of the petals he pulled out. “Your hair looked so pretty, didn't want to ruin it.”

You tilted your head into his hands, humming as he massaged your scalp. “The younglings of the court did it for me. The Queen held a farewell ceremony for me, where I could hand over my powers to my successor and say goodbye to everyone. It’s also why I was wearing a much more intricate dress.” Jihoon took note of the dress you had draped onto the chaise lounge in the corner of his room, making a mental note to find a garment bag to place it in while packing tomorrow. “The flowers are handpicked from the Queen’s court. Nymphs rarely get to see those blooms, let alone hold them. I wish I had asked a flora nymph to enchant them so they would never wilt.”

Jihoon placed a kiss behind your ear, hoping to distract you from the regret seeping into your voice. “They are beautiful,” he whispered in your ear, causing you to giggle from the way his breath tickled, “but not nearly as beautiful as you.”

You snorted, and in that moment, you sounded more human than ever. “Cheesy.”

You squealed as Jihoon pulled you back onto the pillows, pinning your hands by your head as he hovered over you. “But it’s true, and I’ll tell you that over and over until I can’t speak a word anymore. I want it to be the first thing you hear in the morning and the last thing you hear before you go to bed. You’re beautiful. And I love you.”

You blushed, the color in your cheeks highlighted against the white pillows cushioning your head. Jihoon had a way with words that left you winded every time. “I love you too. Will you kiss me again?”

“Gladly.” Jihoon kissed you until you were breathless, and it filled him with pride. The last time you two were together, you were an otherworldly creature. You didn’t lose your breath when he kissed you. Your skin didn’t sweat or flush as much. You didn’t look affected by his ministrations at all. This time though, you were human, so your chest heaved as you caught your breath, your skin was pink and your bangs clung to your forehead, wet with perspiration. 

And Jihoon loved it. 

He walked the fingers of his left hand from your forearm to your own, entangling them. At the same time, he brought his right hand down to trace the top of your thigh, just below where the hem of his t-shirt lay. You shivered, his gentle touch causing a fire to ignite in your belly. 

With one hand still holding your own, Jihoon slipped the other one under your shirt and up your body, placing it on your bra, over your breast. He used the tip of his index finger to trace down your cleavage.

You whined, “Don’t tease.” 

Jihoon relented, pulling the cup of your bra down and squeezing your breast. Your nipple pebbled instantly against his palm and you groaned into his mouth when he pinched it with his fingers. Now desperate for more, Jihoon moved his hand to your back, effortlessly undoing the clasp with one hand. Then, he pulled away, ripping your shirt, bra and panties off your body until you laid bare beneath him. 

He stared, bewitched by your beauty. Last time, it was night and the moonlight was blocked by the tent, preventing Jihoon from truly seeing you. Now, with the illumination from the bedside lamps, Jihoon could truly admire you. He let his eyes roam every expanse of skin on your body. He took note of the moles and scars he couldn’t see before, each one adding to your beauty.

“You’re a vision, Y/N,” he whispered, not wanting to shatter the atmosphere enveloping you both. “Want to cherish every piece of you.” He placed a dainty kiss on your sternum. “Will you let me, my love?”

You answered with an impatient whimper, thrusting your chest towards his face. Jihoon let out a huff of laughter and took your nipple into his mouth. You tangled your fingers into his hair, forcing his mouth to your other breast after he spent a few minutes sucking and biting the first one raw. 

Jihoon took his time with you, placing kisses and sucking bruises into the swell of your breasts, the plush of your belly, down to the tops of your thighs. Then he wrapped his hands around your knees, making them bend until your feet were pressed into the mattress before spreading them apart. He nearly groaned out loud at the way your pussy glistened with wetness. Sliding his arms down to wrap around your thighs, Jihoon used the grip to lurch your body down the bed, bringing your cunt to his mouth.

You squealed, back arching when you felt the suction of his lips on your clit. He hadn’t done this the last time, and the slippery sensation of Jihoon’s tongue was only feeding the flames in your belly. You wanted-

“More,” you moaned. “Need more Ji.”

“Yeah?” Jihoon traced your opening with his finger, dipping just his nail inside. “Little Faerie isn’t satisfied? Always greedy for more.”

You whined his name again, wriggling against the iron grip he had on your thighs that kept you from sliding down on his finger. 

“Don’t worry, you know I’ll always take care of you.” With that, Jihoon slipped two fingers inside of you, curling them up until they brushed just right against your g-spot. Your hands shot down to his head, pressing him deeper into your pussy as you tried to push your knees together. Jihoon loosened his grip, allowing you to bring your thighs against his face, keeping him locked. Jihoon thought he’d be content to die like this, with a tombstone that read: Here lies Lee Jihoon, death by suffocation in pussy.

Your fingers curled tighter into his hair as you cried, “I’m so close. Jihoon.” One last suck of your clit was all it took, and with a strangled sob, you gushed around his fingers, the silken walls pulsating. Your hands flung from his hair to the sheets, where you gripped them like a lifeline. Jihoon held your ankles as your thighs quivered, hips nearly coming off the bed as you bent up like a bowstring. Your mouth was open as you let out a loud moan, eyes rolled back so far you could see white. After a few seconds, your legs fell limply to the bed as you came down from your high. 

Jihoon laughed as he pressed a wet kiss to your lips. “You have to be more quiet, Faerie. Don’t want the other guys to hear what a deviant you really are.”

You muttered a sheepish apology as you wrapped your legs around Jihoon's waist, pitching your middle up to grind against the bulge in his pants. You pawed at his shirt, pulling at the collar to send him a message that you wanted it off. As Jihoon tore his shirt over his head, you pushed up onto your elbows, placing feather light kisses to his pecs. Your fingers slipped into the waistband of his pants, shoving it down, along with his boxers. Jihoon hissed at the way your hand encircled his hard cock, thumb grazing the tip to collect his precum and spread it down the shaft. 

You waited until he managed to kick the fabric away from his ankles before gently tugging him forward with the hand on his dick, angling it towards your entrance. 

“Already?” he asked, astounded. “You’re not sensitive?”

“Don’t care,” you mumbled, reaching up to place your lips against his ear. “I’m so desperate for you, Jihoon.”

Jihoon tipped his head towards the ceiling and groaned, “Fuuuuck.” When he looked down at you again, now splayed out onto the sheets like a doll, his pupils were blown, eyes alight with desire. “I’m gonna ruin you, Faerie.” 

He flipped you over, hauling you onto your knees. He pressed his chest to your back, guiding the corner of the duvet into your mouth. “Bite down on this. You’ll need it to stay quiet.” You did as he asked, earning a kiss to your temple before he leaned back up. 

Then, he brought his cock to you, tracing the tip of it along your pussylips to gather the slickness. “Ready?” 

One nod was all it took for Jihoon to thrust the entirety of his length into you. Your eyes screwed shut, scream muffled by the cloth in your mouth. Jihoon set off at an incredible speed, the force moving your body up towards the headboard. A veiny forearm wrapped around your chest, just under your tits, yanking you up onto all fours. Your teeth dug into the duvet, refusing to let it go despite it being wet with your saliva and tears. 

“You’re so tight baby,” Jihoon’s voice was strained, as if it was taking everything he had not to come at the sensation of your cunt gripping him. He bit down onto your shoulder, sucking a constellation of bruises onto your shoulder blade. 

A particularly sharp thrust caused your mouth to drop open in a strangled gasp. “Feels so good, oh my God, oh,” you babbled. “Thought about this every day since I left. Needed it so badly. Ached for you, Jihoon.”

“Naughty nymph,” Jihoon mock scolded. “Bet you touched yourself thinking about me, huh? All alone in the dark, trying so hard to stay quiet, with your little fingers stuffed in your pussy. It wasn’t enough though was it? Needed me there with you, to feel you, touch you, make you cum. Isn’t that right.”

“Yes, wasn't enough without you,” you moaned. “Fuck, don’t stop!”

“Never,” Jihoon growled, the hand not holding you up moving to draw messy circles on your clit. “You’re mine, Faerie. Gonna fuck you like this every hour of every day. Never letting you off my cock.”

You cried his name like a prayer, letting his words send you crashing into your second orgasm. It felt wet and slippery. You could feel the inside of your things get soaked, but you didn’t have the energy to care. All you had left in you was one last clench of your walls, and it was just enough to send Jihoon to his release as well. He groaned loudly, fingers digging into your sides so hard you were sure the skin would bruise. His hips were pressed tightly against your ass, breath warm against your spine where his head was resting. Together, you both flopped forward onto the bed. 

You laid there, wrapped up in each other, until your breathing returned to normal. Jihoon shivered as he pulled out of you, placing an apologetic kiss to your shoulder when you whined. “Have to clean you up, love. One minute.”

After using a wet cloth to wipe you both down, he sent you to the bathroom. In the meantime, he replaced the sheets on the bed, shocked at the amount of wetness soaking them. That’s something we’ll have to explore again, he thought. 

When you returned from the bathroom, he slipped his shirt onto your body again, joining you under the duvet after slipping on a fresh pair of boxers himself. He smiled as you snuggled up to his side, placing your ear against his heart. 

“I love you, my Fate. I’m so thankful that it’s you I get to be with for the rest of my days,” you whispered, eyelids getting heavy.

“Me too, my love. Me too,” Jihoon said, placing a kiss on your head as you fell asleep. He was still unsure how to bring you up to the agency, and how to assimilate you into his life in the human world, but that was a worry for tomorrow. For right now, he chose to revel in how perfectly you fit in his arms, and how his heartbeat matched your own. He chose to trust the universe, because it brought him to you.

[chiyoso]

update

hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, this is a re-write. an update. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, not clearly descriptive of my situation outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)

alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.

writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.

just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?

that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)

“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”

i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.

thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.

i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.

right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.

i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.

all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.

thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.

i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.

i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.

p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)

@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.

@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.

god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.

⸻ with all my love, chiyo.

[luvvvivii]

"i love you" — l.fl

pairing - idol!felix x gn!reader

genre - fluff, imagine

wc - 705

warnings - not proofread (surprise surprise), a bunch of pet names used (my love, angel, dear), lmk if more

a/n - I'm back suckas!!! 😋 enjoy this small felix post whilst I start to get back into the groove of writing (also abt the writing, times next to the date is in readers time zone)

synopsis - in which your idol boyfriend sends you voice notes whilst he's away

02.16.23 — 1:05 am

"good morning dear. actually, I think it's night for you right now? you better be asleep, alright? haha, it feels odd not being able to speak to each other how we usually would, doesn't it? but I guess this is what idol life is like? *chuckle* anyways, how was your day? did you do anything fun today? I hope you're eating good as well…I might head out for a bit with chan, so I'll talk with you later? sweet dreams angel. I love you!"

02.17.23 — 6:37 pm

"hey yn, you're asleep right? this is usually when you have your evening naps. don't be taking an all nighter again after this, though. I know you really like that show but sleep is important too you know? *chuckle*...today is day one of our concert in melbourne. I'm back in australia after so long, and I'm super excited! it's a shame I can't be here with you right now, but at least I can still update you and stuff. I can't wait to meet even more stays—oh, that's minho calling. sorry yn, got to go. I'll update you all about it after! enjoy the rest of your night, I love you."

02.18.23 — 12:53 pm

"hey dear, have you eaten yet? sorry I couldn't send any voice notes this morning, I woke up late and had to rush. day two of our concert was amazing! oh gosh, I wish you were here. hey, I don't think I told you about the dream I had last night, did I? well, we were just about to head to sydney for our tour there, and then suddenly you gave us a surprise visit! that's pretty much it, I woke up after that. haha, it seemed so real I even looked around for you whilst I was still half awake! *sigh* well, I think I'm going to go to sleep now, sorry for such a boring voice note today. have a good day, I love you angel."

02.20.23 — 3:31 pm

"yn, I'm so tired. but I can't go to sleep. *laugh* I was on my phone and got completely carried away, and now it's two am!...I think I might just start yapping about something with you, like how we always do when neither of us can sleep. that's what always helps me get tired…not that I'm saying you're boring! *chuckle* what I'm trying to say is…I just feel so at ease when I know that you're listening to me talk…let's not get depressed now, haha. how is your day going dear? doing anything fun today? make sure to send pictures, I haven't been able to see your pretty face in a while. you know, I think I might head off now, starting to feel a bit drowsy. we've got day one in sydney tomorrow, so I'll probably talk to you about it all later. goodnight my love, I love you to the moon and back."

02.21.23 — 2:01 am

"yn! it's finally day one in sydney! ah, I really wish you were here right now. you'll be cheering me on from back at home, right? I know you'll be looking for videos after the concert haha. make sure to have fun today angel! and I'll make sure to pour my heart and soul into the performances for you, like I always do. sorry for this voice note being so short, but I've got to go. I love you!"

02.22.23 — 3:19am

"sydney day 2! ah, you really don't understand how overwhelming this experience is, yn. this is absolutely crazy, but I've probably already said this a ton, right? *laugh*...you know, I hope one day we can travel to australia together, and I could show you all my favourite places to go and things to do from when I was a kid. but that's saved for the future! just wait a bit longer, my love, I'll be back home faster than you can believe. and cheer me on today as well, alright! I'll do the same for you dear. I've got to go now, an exciting concert ahead. I love you."

©@luvvvivii all rights reserved | do not repost or translate

[fioooweeooweeeoo]

Extraordinary You

Chapter 3 - Me before you

- By Fioweeo

GENRES: slow burn cz yes??, (e2L-> frenemies2lovers),  ANGST, 18+ MINORSSS DNI for obvious reasons, may have sm*t in the next chapters, fluff- of course, we can't leave that out, there will be warnings in the next chapters if said so, HINT OF LOAK X READER !!!

A/N: FINALLY DONE WITH CHAPTER 3 yall i am so sorry if that took way too long to do because i was hella busy with doing work on the side that i didn't really have time to continue working on it, thankfully I'm on break this semester! so you'll be seeing a lot more updates and chapter 4 is in the making as we speak! hopefully you guys would be able to read this and still be interested in reading for more!!

anyways for this chapter ive introduced a few more characters, some ooc and some that aren't new to the avatar world! anyways please enjoy reading chapter 3 to Extraordinary You

Word Count: 8.3 k (chapters might be longer after chap 3 so it might take me a little long to post !

Chapter 2 - Till I Met You

Silence fills the room you're both in but you're the only one fast asleep. You're soft breathing can be heard slightly but that isn't what bothers him. The proximity of both you and Neteyam is, having to train you already was a risky move for him, now sleeping with you? He wants to go to his father and complain that it'll cause a problem but he doesn't want to. Why? Why can't he bring himself to stop this from becoming messier?

He shouldn't be bothered thinking about this, once you're healed and done with training you can go on without him and he can go back to his normal routine. Normal, funny how it's gotten to this he thinks. He drifts off to sleep with just the sound of your breathing easing him for some reason.

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His eyes peel open to his surroundings, a waterfall beside him, he stares at the bright light shining onto him, trees surrounding to cover from being too bright. But what caught his attention wasn't any movement, but a voice, a humming voice to be exact.

He stands up and follows the humming voice, the beautiful sound calling out to him. He recognizes the song, the melody and rhythm of it, the voice of it or better yet, who it is. The humming slowly starts to fade and the more it does the faster neteyam catches up to it, hoping that the humming wouldn't stop and he'll reach in time. 

He can still hear it, but it feels like he's running out of time to catch up to it, but as soon as he sees the figure humming to it, he breathes of relief, like he held onto his breathe the whole time. He watches closely and slowly creeps forward to the figure, it was a girl, a human girl to be exact.

She was singing, whilst playing with an instrument. He tries to avoid creating a sound to call the attention of the girl until he steps on a small twig, the girl gasps and turns to his direction. But as neteyam goes to look at the girls reaction, he freezes, he can't see her face, how? He takes a step back and the girl stands up and moves a step closer towards him,he moves back anxiously, his back hitting a tree behind him while looking from both sides to see if he has some sort of escape, but it was already too late as he looked at the girl who was infront of him, he face tells all signs of confusion, as he musters up to speak.

“Who are you-?” His breathing is quick, he looks at the girl from head to toe trying to recognize who it was. The faceless girl tilts her head now looking like she's the confused one, neteyam rolls his eyes and bends down to her height. 

“What do you want from me, tawtute? Hmm? Speak” the faceless girl looks around herself checking every small pocket she has and the bag around her trying to look for something until she spots it at at her right pocket of her shorts and shows it to him, she points for him to open his hand to which he does immediately, she places the object in his palm and he looks at it, its a flower, a confused look spreads across his face.

“What is this?” The girl stays silent which makes Neteyam suspicious, that is until she walks and turns away from him, curious, he follows her and calls “Wait up-!”. Somehow he felt slower in his dream. Neteyam catches up to see where she went, and as he pushes the leaves in front of him, he looks at the faceless girl who's staring at the sunset, the wind blowing softly at her and the sound of waves crashing easing her. It eases neteyam too he thinks, he thinks this place is much calmer than what's outside his dream, the faceless girl breathes out and plops down on the sand. 

He tilts his head confused but goes to her anyway, finding a spot next to her sitting cross-legged. He looks at the side where she was, as she does to him as well, the girl looks from his face back to the floor in his palm, as she sees this she grabs and flowers which instinctively makes Neteyam want to grab it back. “Hey- what is-”, she moves closer to him, kneeling trying to reach his height despite him sitting down, as she takes the top  right side of his hair and places the flower on it. Neteyam rolls his eyes and grabs the girls wrist, making her stop as she looks at him expectantly. “What are you trying to do little human?” She sighs and grabs his arm making him stand up as they run up to the water. She pointed for him to look at the water, he does so and looks at himself, seeing the flower placed on his hair nicely. She claps lightly and giggles, as if she had done such a great thing to him only for it to be placing a quite nice flower on his hair, but he sighs and chuckles softly, “Are you happy little human?” She nods and starts to move closer to the water, he grabs her arm which makes her head turn and as neteyam realises what he did he apologises and let's go of her, letting her dip her feet into it.

Despite being in a dress, she finds herself enjoying the water, she looks back at him and signs for him to come in which he wanted to but as he tries to move he hears it.- thunder, loud and roaring, he looks up to see the sky turning a darker grey but looks back at the girl who's still playing in the water, he calls out to her to which she doesn't hear, he continues to shout to call her but somehow his voice is falling faint to him and her, he tries to move but somehow feels stuck in place, the waves move stronger and pushes the girl making her fall. The lightning soon strikes and the loud thunder wakes him up-

“Yo- bro- wake up- dude-” Loak claps at Neteyams face, his eyes adjusting to the the scene before him. His brother still snapping in front of his face, he swats his hand at loak “Baby bro- what do you want?- it's like- "  " it's literally sun out bro, you've never stayed in for this long– hell! An hour? Come on- dad's been waiting- man I thought you were the golden boy-”

Neteyam gets up and groans, looking around his room to see your not here, you might have gone to Mo'ats early, probably wanting to get up early as possible before your training. He wastes not a minute getting ready, before heading out to the base for an early meeting. Most of the meeting was laying out important areas to look out for in which his dad had instructed both him and Lo'ak to keep an eye on while the rest of the war party set out on their mission, though Neteyam was fully prepared for being in the war party, he still had to look after Lo'ak since his father instructed him to “not cause a ruckus” as he calls it. As soon as the meeting was over, Jake talked to both Neteyam and Lo'ak just like before every mission to stay in line for any threat that may come while spotting. 

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I observed closely at what ingredients Mo'at had placed infront of me for the next lesson, some of these were known to help with poisonous wounds, the others were made for headaches, mild flu, and sickness, the like really. I was confused by the materials Mo'at had put in front of me but I knew they had a purpose. 

“These herbs are made to help with poisoning- as you can tell- but not only can this help from poisoning, many of these other ingredients can help with a specific poisoning, you see-” a knock was heard out of the tent, disturbing you of your lesson, moat calls out to them. A portion of the war party comes in with a member who was extremely injured, a gash running from their shoulder to their right side of their chest. Normally it would be fine, it would take weeks to heal, but this was different, a purple colour bleeding out of it as well, it was strange seeing this and you look at it with your mentor. 

“This… this looks very concerning- what happened?” “We had just raided another one of their trains but they had this new weapon that could easily tear through the skin, it makes them feel crazy- wanting nothing but to die”. It was new to you hearing about this, you felt off about something so peculiar like this happening to Na'vi though, you remembered Norm talking about this before… a variant as he called… the origins of this were from a plant species, though was not dangerous to Na'vi kind, its roots may have changed and may have caused its genetics to alter, which doesn’t add up- anyway, it was dangerous.

Your thoughts were snapped away by Mo'at asking you to help her retrieve a few more medicinal herbs, perhaps that'll help ease the pain for them she says hesitantly. As you observe, there were a lot of things that you noticed about the wound, more importantly, the size, colour and odd shape it had, you've always studied how most plants in Pandora were either medicinal or deadly, ones you should look out for and some you must avoid. You won't need the second advice because most are usually far away or in the hallelujah mountains. But perhaps there was more to this– with the way the cut looked, it must've been from the Hallelujah Mountains, the infection seemed quite similar to txumtsä'wll. The Baja tickler as the scientists mostly call it- but no one really dared to come near that plant, only various animals eat it to use as a venom for their own predators. So while you observe the wound and the liquid that had come out, you had a good feeling it was from it, but how did they extract it?

Your thoughts were soon turned into dust by Mo'ats voice asking for you to pass a paste, you knew that paste wouldn't work so you passed Mo'at a different one that would suit better. “What is this Y/N? I asked for the other one!” “Mo'at, please trust me this one will work, it will lessen the pain–” “What do you mean- you are saying the Tsahik is wrong?” “No- no- please use it- trust me-” Mo'at looked at you in confusion but decided to trust you, applying the paste to the warrior as he was in deep pain was tough, but soon the warrior had stopped whining in pain and felt at ease, Mo'at felt surprised, she had not known that would work. It was like something had awoken the warrior like it was in deep sleep, sighing in relief from the pain.

“How did you know it would work?” You face Mo'at at your right who was just as confused as you were “I- I had learnt it from studying these plants that you've created a paste out, it was easy to navigate what can help soothe it, but it may only last for just a few days, I may know where to find another ingredient to mix it together with though! It might just be the cure for it!” Mo'at nods, seemingly surprised and a little proud per say of your knowledge, but she doesn't say it. 

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As you walk out of the tent, you're met with an tall figure who you know well enough was Lo'ak– jogging up to you as you give him a lighthearted smile. He gives you a wave until he reaches you. “ ‘Sup shorty-” you elbow him at his stomach as he says  ‘ow-’ “what-! It's technically how you're built man-” “yeah- no shit sherlock! Ive been the same height since your uniltron” he rubs his side “and somehow you're attitude doesn't add up to you're height-” he murmurs “what did you say?” “What?” “You said something-” “there is a bunch of people here Y/N, your hearing things” “no I know you said something-” “you're imagining~” as soon as he starts to back away and go another direction, you chase him to which he runs quite faster than you, you both chase each other around like little children giggling, as soon as you both reach the tent for the meeting, you both enter through the flap. Lo'ak nudges you at your elbow as you give him an annoyed look, he puts his finger to his mouth silently telling you to be quiet to which you respond, mouthing him a ‘I know’, he tilts his head to the side for you to follow him in which you oblige.

Jake mostly started off with the schedule of things to be done around camp, ever since the home tree was burned down the village had to be relocated to hell's gate, which not most of his family had been fond of. Lo'ak was beside you through the meeting, though if you knew Lo'ak well enough, he gets bored in most of these meetings, which is why you're a little caught up when he whispers something to you. “I kinda wanna ditch this meeting-” “well your dad's in here- you wanna tell him that?” “I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind-” “thats a fucking lie” “oh what would you know-” “keep it down skxawng-” Jake clears his throat “Y/N. Since you'll be working on the normal training grounds with Neteyam, you'll also be with most of the trainees. You're okay with that?” “I- uhm-” Lo'ak nudges you at the shoulder which makes you glare at him “yes- ofcourse- sir.” Loak snorts when your voice cracks. “Alright, you're morning training starts in 30 minutes” as everyone leaves, you notice Neteyam who was already looking at you from afar, there's this look in his eyes in which you couldn't tell what it meant- was it anger? Was it annoyance? Was it anything that serious? Eywa, why do you overthink this much- you should really work on this better. 

But first, you should really speak with Neteyam about the training course and what you'll be doing. Neteyam walks towards where you're standing, you hope he'll start explaining to you the gist of what's to come until- “oh! Uhm hey- okay so I was going to ask if- uh- Oh-” he just walks past you, opens the flap of the tent and leaves. Did that just happen?... Did he actually ignore you- Lo'ak hisses softly “Ouch- that was rough- normally he doesn't do this to newer trainees- I guess you're the first one” you blink twice at him wondering what just happen because it all happened in just a second “Aren't you gonna train with him what're you standing here for-” “Eywa! I know what i'm doing!”.

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You follow Lo'ak who shows you to the training grounds which wasn't that far off, seeing everyone prepared and ready, you take in the different kinds of faces once you settled in as well. You look to see that it was both navi men and women in the grounds, some- you recognized as Kiris’ friends. Lea'una, Sey'nab, and Ni'fiti, most of them were pretty cool with you, well- Lea'una and Ni'fiti were pretty much good friends with you, Sey'nab on the other hand- you kinda feel this tension around her but of course most Na'vis feel that way around humans. Though Kiri was also half human, she was really close friends with her, all of them were close with her. You think it's just how she normally is when she's around humans, you can't really blame her. 

As soon as everyone had been seated neteyam soon announces the newest trainees in the course, “I'd like to announce the newer trainees who will be joining us from today and onward, that is- Ney'lan, Korukt, Yía , Zora, and… Y/N…” Everyone soon claps to the newly announced members. 

Everyone moves on to the next course tp train in, as soon as you stood up, two navi girls up come up behind you, startling you a bit, “GAAH- oh- it's you guys-!” “sorry! Didn't mean to scare you there Y/N-!” “would've been funny though” “Lea'una.” “what! I'm kidding, eywa- Ni'fiti you can't even take a joke-” “to be fair I'm atleast 3 to 4 feet shorter than most of you guys so i would've laughed as well buuut anyways! It has been quite some time since I've seen you guys!” “Us too! Hey I mean atleast you've gotten some height on there, you look amazing” Lea'una pats your head, you honestly feel like they're your older sister sometimes, they treat you more kindly than the rest of the Omaticaya People, but you're thankful to have a small circle of your own. “Since when were you taking training for this, its been awhile since a tawtute has done it. Well- our Olo'eyktan technically was a tawtute, and atleast he looked more like us..” You hear the comment from behind Ni'fiti and Lea'una, you face contorts into confusion until you realise who it was, somehow you expected this yet you were still surprised, Sey'nab approaches the two girls who were in front of you “I think it would be best to stay in our training areas so we wouldn't be distracted, hmm?” Lea'una looks at Sey'nab then to Ni'fiti who also gives her an awkward look “Well we were just making conversation with one of Kiris’ human friends! You remember her- Y/N! When we used to play with her long ago when we were little-” “And do you think we are still kids? We are much old enough to be doing our duties and responsibilities than to… do things such as this” “Excuse me?..” it was your turn to answer now “you may or may not understand but most of us have roles that we must follow in this clan, unlike us, we already have a place among the people” Your heart sinks, you've faced the truth a couple of times, you already knew humans do not belong or were capable of being one of the people. They didn't believe such beings were trusted to have a place after everything. Yet you still feel ashamed for somehow showing up. “I think you all should go ahead..! It was nice catching up with the both of you, I think i should go ahead as well” “But Y/N-” Ni'fiti turns to you as you were walking back to leave “We can always talk another time Ni'fiti-! I think i should start with my first session- i gotta go!” You soon turned and run to leave, while Ni'fiti and Lea'una look back to Sey'nab, cold stare laid upon you as you run. 

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You run and run but you don't know which part of the training area you go to- you realise then that you've made it too far. You look around your surroundings wondering where to go next, you feel your heartbeat racing and pounding, your watch alarming you because of the intense rate of your heart speeding, you feel yourself panicking, you've had a weak heart since you were a child, you've been told that you were also in a type of cryo pod built for you because you were born a little to early, having being in that cryo pod it had taken a few years (around 5 to specific) after the war for you to be fully capable of living in Pandora, it was a miracle, the scientists were glad either way.

So having that said you were pretty much on some meds for most of your life, just so that you wouldn't have complications, Norm has built a small watch for you to track your heart rate and you med schedule (thank you for that Norm), the scientists that managed to stay in Pandora from the kindness of the people were always helping you left and right, because being a child with complications in an entirely different planet not common for your kind is tough, though upon discovering your ability to stay alive in Pandora air, it was a shock, a surprise most scientist wanted to into more, but as you were a child, it wasn't the right choice, well, Lara had made a decision that no one would put experiments on you because it was wrong. So it's really the reason why you were kept in the lab for so long. Well until now.

Now being in this situation perhaps wasn't a good start, but as you were looking around frantically you felt yourself passing out and falling backwards to the ground until an arm scoops your waist, despite your heart rate telling you that you were indeed about to pass out, you felt yourself calm in relief when a Na'vi man saves you from it. But as you realise that it was one you did not infact recognize, you stood up and push him back- “i- who are you-? Did you follow me here? What do you want from m-” “Woah woah woah- hey- relax..? Okay?... you seemed to have something going on just a few seconds ago I mean-” “No I wasn't-” “You sure did. Like you were going all like-” “Okay okay fine I was- I was having a panic attack- alright? That's what happened-” you take a few in and outs to calm yourself as the Na'vi man continued to look at you “What?..”  “You don't look good-”  you scoff, what's with this guy? First it was with Sey'nab and now a random Na'vi guy just pops out of nowhere like a douche “you think?? I was this close to passing out and that's your take?-” you sit on the ground with your knees pressed against your chest, waiting for the guy leave but he just stands there, looking at you in a pitying way “aren't you gonna leave? What're you still doing here-”  “I'm sorry.”  “What?...”  “I was pretty rude for saying that- and uhh I just thought that- well- I mean I didn't really think- most of uhh- my thoughts just come out of my mouth… ngaru lu fpom srak?”  “I'm okay… I guess…”  there's a small gap if silence until he starts shifting closer to you sitting infront with his knees bent and his arms on it. “As you can tell I am not from here” he laughs softly, a hand coming to his scalp brushing it, “Y/N. If you're wondering” “Aonung. Neteyam's friend and also a teacher in this training course… I too am not from here as well, I've only decided to come here recently because my father and I wanted to be of help” you noticed he was a different colour, a different shade than most of the people here, a teal-green colour, you feel yourself thinking too much about it, you snort “youre from a different clan? Didn't know he had friends..” you say grumbling to which he hears and laughs it off  “oh- eywa- you heard that?.. shit I'm sorry that- just came out of me-”  “Yeah it's okay- it's fine, I get it, he's like that a lot of the times, it's like-” “you're talking to a brick wall” you both say in unison, catching each other off guard for a moment until you both burst in laughter. “I guess we both thought of the same thing, ay?”  “I'm not the only one then” you both continue to laugh for a but until Aonung speaks up again “trust me, he's a good guy, he's a funnier guy in real life, besides all the responsibilities he has, he's not as bad as you think he may be”  “I'm gonna have to pray for that, I feel like it's just me who he doesn't want to get a long with”  “What do you mean i thought-” Aonung pauses as he realises, soon falling silent “You thought what?..”  “I thought he wanted to train you perhaps” he states, but you aren't sure if that was true, you shrug it off anyway. 

To say that you've actually created a friend without any form of connections from others, can be a little surprising considering it is a Na'vi that you've befriended. But you didn't want to comment too much on it, safe to say you both had a few things in common, he likes to sing a lot, although he's a warrior he has a passion for artistry, he doesn't hate having to be a warrior, he chooses to be one because he wants to help the people. He's talked about learning more from the humans, which surprised you, Lo'ak is understandable because his father was a human before. But hearing it from a Na'vi was quite interesting to note, “Trust me, if you want to learn more about tech and stuff I'll save you the boring shit and say its not really that cool to look at, there's laptops though but they're kinda boring” Aonung laughs “ ‘m not talking about the gizmos you people create, I mean human experiences, you learn about so many things and say it so… intensely”  “intricately?”  “I do not know what that means” it's you who laughs this time “I mean like in a interesting way that sounds fascinating”  “you can put it that way, but I like me idea better” you giggle and snort like a child and you gasp from what you did “oh my god… sorry that just-” he laughs rolling over  “What was that?!” “I don't know! It just happens! Everyone does it!”  “I'm pretty sure by everyone it translates to yourself”  “shut up!”  “for all I know it could just be you!”  

It continued on for about a few minutes until you both had decided that it was best to return to the training courses. You had finally found a way to the grounds seeing that everybody was training already, that is until you see Neteyam standing there eyeing out on everybody but as if he was trying to look for a certain person, obviously that being you. So when you caught his eye, you felt a little shaken because you realised you had been atleast 5 minutes late when he and specifically asked you to come early, too caught up on your moment doing so. 

Neteyam stood there, arms crossed, his eyes looking at you coldly as he made contact with them, look down to the spot in front of him then back at you, signalling for you to go there “I guess I gotta go- it was nice having a good friend to talk to now, even if we just met” “a friend?” “I- I mean if you don't want that It'll be just fine-” “no- no- I think of you as a friend too- Y/N…” you both smile at each other until neteyam clears his throat.

“Oel ngati kameie, brother” “Oel ngati kameie, ‘eylan” Neteyam says in turn, you do the same to him to which he does the same to you but he doesn't really greet with any words, you convince yourself that this is just the start of an unbearable month. “So you are to be training her today, yes?” “Of course, it is a responsibility that I am now handling once again, so much so that this responsibility, took a part of her time to do more important things perhaps.” “Ay- it is not her fault brother, I was partly the reason she was late- I was getting know her-” “there can be another time for that don't you think-”  Neteyam stares a little hardly at Aonung which he in turn does the same to him, only it was a silent communication on both ends “maybe if you were around her more then she wouldn't be so late isn't that so-” “you should go continue with your students maybe, you have time for chitchats later” Aonung then looks to you at his side and silently nods and mouths a goodluck to you, a little unease by it.

“come.” “Oh- okay-” you both head to another area of the training course, you notice in this part that it was the area where most pa'li were in “You're first training will be learning how to ride the pa'li, it'll  be best to start of small since it is your first” you take the part of your hair to reveal your kuru, surprisingly, since you were “born different” you had the ability to have this certain aspect of a Na'vi, though you did not have the overall height and maybe some of the facial features a Na'vi would have, you had this.

“Are you ready?” You breathe in and out softly  “I'm ready..”. You whine and reach as much as you can but it was too high, you try to look for other way to get on up on the pa'li but most of them failed, “uhm- can you move down please…” the pa'li just stands there and snorts. You sigh out of breathe feeling like you wanted to give up, but not a minute later you here a small laughter coming from behind, a small giggle as you turn around to see who it was, was he really just standing there the whole time laughing? “Can I please have some help?”  “I thought it was best that you would learn on your own”  “please, you just wanted to see me struggle” you mumble looking away for a split second “what was that?” “nothing”.

He breathes out a huff of air, going to you swiftly, placing his hands around your waist easily lifting you up, you gasp softly as the motion was really quick, sat atop the pa'li and saddled yourself to be ready. “What do I do now?”  “Connect your kuru to the pa'li, from there you'll be able to feel her through tsaheylu, the bond that seals between you and the pali, I want you to feel her, feel her breathe, feel her heart, feel her strong legs” you nod as you close your eyes and settle in the feeling, it was a little comforting feel her heartbeat match yours, to feel her breathe the same way you do, you open your eyes to then find Neteyam's hand on top of yours, you heart skipped a beat from the touch, it was warm yet comforting, his hands tracing the back of your hand guiding them to caress the pa'li, you look from where his hand was to his forearm then leading to his bicep which had a band wrapped around it, it was woven delicately which was obvious, but you were to stricken by his biceps, biceps that looked like they could- Stop! You looked even higher to his shoulders, it was broad and had looked to be much more muscular than any other Na'vi, thanks to his father's human genes you note, you look a little more higher till you reach his face, eyes already looking straight at you, yet it looks like he also too stricken by… you… a heat creeps up your face, his stare was enticing, but you couldn't think that!? He's your mentor, are you crazy? You shouldn't think those things about your mentor! God, Y/N get your head out of the gutter-

Neteyam clears his throat as you then look at another direction “Use your mind and where you want her to go and speak it.” He cocks his head to the side and moves back. This is easy… no big deal… just have have use your head and start moving. “move forward” as soon as you speak, the pa'li moves forward immediately, causing you to almost fall, but you hold on to her side. As you hold on to her comfortably, you rescg near a riverside, you were mesmerised by the scenery that you had realise Neteyam had been calling you back, you ask her to stop on her tracks, but as soon as this happens she abruptly halts sending you to the water with a yelp.

You land on the shallow part of the water thankfully making you land on your butt. Yet you were soaked from the land on the water, your hair was wet and so were you clothes, you stand up to see a few Na'vi looking at your direction until you spot Ni'fiti and Lea'una who come to see if you were alright “Are you alright?!...”, Neteyam sprints up to get to you. “I was calling for you- did you not hear me?”  “Sorry- I thought that worked i-” “you must focus on the specific directions you ask her to go to, you do not just say move forward-” people were now whispering and talking, some giggling around him, and notice you were shivering from the cold, “did you get hurt-”  “no- I'm fine, I just need new clothes…” Neteyam then takes something from the satchel of his pa'li, taking his shawl out to wrap around you, making it look bigger on you since he's at least twice your height. “Let's go to my hut first, I think kiri has an extra loincloth for you…” he takes your hand and soon brings you up to his pa'li and asks it to head to his hut.

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You soon reach his families hut, kiri and neytiri were both inside weaving baskets for the upcoming season until they both see you two come inside. You were soaking wet whcih made Neytiri and Kiri wonder what had happened, “Did something happen, why are you wet??” “Let us get you some new clothes- you must be cold..” Neytiri stands to fetch some new loincloth for you while kiri brings you near the campfire to dry yourself. “Woah What happened to you, shorty?” Loak barges in the hut due to it being close to nightfall, he looks at you as laughs softly while you give him a glare “Where is your father, Lo'ak? It is already nightfall-” she goes to you and brings a few clothes as you thanked her, you try to remove your clothes when kiri clears her throat and eyes looking from Lo'ak to you, while Lo'ak who was standing there a little oblivious to what was gonna happen, he looks around a little bit confused and points to himself, Neteyam wants to facepalm himself because of Lo'ak “Yes you- come on-” Neteyam drags Lo'ak out with him. 

Kiri sighs and chuckles a little bit “boys… anyways how was training? I'm guessing it was probably the reason you are wet” you laugh a bit, looking down at yourself as you remove the top kiri gave you as a gift and set it aside to dry now now it got wet, and had to change both of your undergarments, luckily they had some spare tops that kiri had used as a child and it fitted you perfectly. Your tewng was changed as well but this one was shorter than the last one because it was kiris old tewng, they were clean but they couldn't find use for it since kiri had grown out of it very quickly. As soon as Jake had returned for whatever meeting there was left with the war party everyone sat for dinner to wrap up the day. You stood up helping Neytiri with fixing dinner and some leftovers, as a thank you for borrowing the clothes you were currently wearing. You bid all of them goodnight taking your leave from there. 

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You went out of the hut to return to none other than the home of your mentor which more so felt like a jail cell because being in the same room as him felt irksome, but just as you take a few steps closer to the hut your hand was yanked and you yelp in surprise. You felt a gust of wind as you were sort of being dragged by a very certain Na'vi man, you called out his name but he shushes you, still dragging you as you both run to another part of the camp, you try to look around if you would recognize which area you were in order to go back but you were soon come to halt. But since you were being dragged here, you felt your balance falter and you felt yourself almost meet the ground when he catches you immediately grabbing your waist.

“Woah- sorry my bad- didn't know I was pulling you too hard”  “Jesus christ- Lo'ak! Are you insane!? You fuckin’ scared the living shit out of me!” you shouted at him but in a whisper, immediately withdrawing your hand from his hold as you stood up properly “and it's night why did you-...” you sentence was cut off when Lo'ak places his hand on your mouth and grabs the back of your head  “Shhh-shh- shut up- okay- listen-..” you wait and look around as he finally let's go of your mouth and finally says something back “Hear that? That's the sound of me not giving a fuck-” you hit him at his shoulder “Ah!- dude I'm kidding alright” he laughs as you roll your eyes “that's not funny- why did you bring me here? I thought you were some recom or something-” “Okay look I was just playing with you alrigh-” he was about to hold your hand when you suddenly withdrew it  “Don't touch me…”  “Hey tanhi… are you okay?-” “I'm fine..”  , you wrapped your arms around yourself feeling a little scared, you actually thought you were getting kidnapped as well you look away from him to the side trying not to look at his face “Well?... if it'd not important why am i here then-”  “tanhi what happened?”  “Nothing happened”  “I know something happened”  “I don't know what your talking about” “Y/N.” you look at him as he says your name firmly “Peng oe 'upe lu kemwiä?...” (tell me what's wrong) “Tsal's hìno-” (It's fine)  “You're lying”  you stood silent as he takes your hand and guides you to a small lake, where a wooden log sits by it, he sits on it first before he tells you to come and sit with him, you stand there still trying to not look at him, he sighs looking down then up to then pulling you to sit down. You try to protest but suddenly he lays his head on your lap and adjusts himself on the log for comfort. “Lo'ak I'm not gonna- what are you doing?”  “Shhh Shh Just chillin’ here” he closes his eyes acting as if he's sleeping “if you think this is gonna do anything to make me talk then your absolutely wrong”  he opens his eyes and looks at you and raises a brow, you still don't respond but he slowly takes your hand and rubs the top of it, placing it on top of his chest  “peng oe” you sigh finally relenting to his wishes.

“I got… embarrassed alright, I was talking with you know, Lea'una and Ni'fiti- having a good conversation when suddenly the ‘oh but elegant and brave, sweet and determined Sey'nab has come to the rescue!’ suddenly showed up out of nowhere and was just going at me and-”  suddenly you hear snoring down to your lap as Lo'ak fell asleep quite immediately “oh real mature Lo'ak!” Lo'ak bursts out laughing from your reaction as you try to get him off you “okay okay I was just  teasing you alright- I'm sorry- I hate seeing that sour look on you and thought that you need a little something to cheer you up-” you soon start to burst out laughing as you then hit him on the shoulder making him swear “ow what the fuck!-”  “You're such a jerk-”  “and this jerk made you laugh today alright, now relax- it's just your first week here and you seem like you're having it rough“ "because I am?”  “Because you think it is, you're letting that happen because you think that way-”  you sigh , thinking about his words and agreeing with him. “I don't know… I just feel like… there's a lot of things going on my mind still, like- I feel confused, like I don't know what I'm doing at this point”  “then don't” “What?...” “you heard me, don't think about it”  “like it's gonna solve anything”  “look- I'm saying this because you've got a bunch of weird shit going on recently and it seems to me like you can't focus on the important things right now”  “But aren't they important too?”  “Yeah, they are, it isn't like they aren't- but all I'm saying- is you should take it one step at a time, you're gonna give yourself a burn out if you don't” you carefully listen and keep that sentence in your head for a bit, making you think differently.

“By the way you don't really need to explain it to me cuz I was there, I just didn't wanna mention it”  “asshole”  “Yeah yeah, i reserve it for you” “Shut up-” you both laugh for a quite a bit until you hear a you're name being called at the left from a different voice. Lo'ak rises up as you both see Neteyam standing there eyeing you both, Lo'ak grumbles and sighs. “What are you doing?”  “I-”  “I thought you were at the hut already, I was waiting for you to come-” “I'm sorry I just- I was talking to-”  “hut? You're sleeping with him?”  “Dad said so” neteyam says firmly making them both look at each other for just a moment “why are you with him?” “We were just hanging out-” “Yeah Neteyam, we were just hanging out, no biggie-”  “Loak-”  “relax, he's probably just worried you might've been kidnapped or whatever”  “yes- I was worried actually”  “see?”  “It is already late, let's go” “well I was just talking to Lo'ak and-” he looks back at you with with small stare, which was an obvious sign for you to go. You look back to Lo'ak who gives you a smile, “we can talk about it tomorrow?” he says as he tilts his head to the side You smile back at him, you stand up and do your handshake that you, spider, and kiri all made up when you were younger.

“We don't have all day” you look to neteyam who looks annoyed as always, you walk going closer to him, then looking at him for a little bit then walking past him to the direction of the hut, Neteyam looks back at you then to Lo'ak who gives him a blank stare, he stands up and walks to Neteyam's side, going to the same direction of the hut but he pauses to say something. “Do you plan on doing anything?”  “What?”  “You heard me, I asked if you planned on doing anything”  “i won't do-” “you won't or you can't?”  “Why are you asking me this?”  “Because I care for her” Neteyam stays silent for a moment  “Do you think i wanted this to happen?”  “Maybe, maybe you hoped something like this would happen, and it did, you just don't know what to do about it”  neteyam looks at his side and gives Lo'ak a confused look, Lo'ak then looks back to neteyam “Do or don't do anything, but I'll still be there for her if anything happens, I hope you know that” he pats Neteyam's shoulder and leaves, as he reels in on the last thing he said.

Walking into his hut, he sees you lying down facing the wall with your blanket covering you. He didn't know if you were really sleeping, he knows it's hard for you to force yourself to sleep when things happen. But he doesn't know what he should do, he wants to do something but he can't. He goes to his mat laying down, when he hears it, it was soft but he heard it immediately, small sniffles and little coughs, he turn over and sees you still coughing, he curses himself realising that falling into the water must've made you sick, of course it took awhile to get to his family's hut but he didn't think it would catch you a cold sooner. You were shaking and shivering, even if it wasn't cold in the hut, you felt so uncomfortable in your sleep and Neteyam can see that. But he doesn't want to do anything, you'll be better in the morning perhaps, it's just a small cold, he's done it before without any help, just some drinks that would help his gut and that was that. But you weren't him, he knew that, and what's worse is that you're half human, one with a weaker heart he notes, he sits up and looks at you, you were still asleep but you didn't look comfortable sleeping in that state. He knows he'd have to do something, if his dad notices you weren't feeling good he'd be in trouble, but he knows that not the real reason why he's helping you, he stands to go to his table and reach for the herbs Mo'at insisted he'd keep whenever he didn't feel well, he mixed the herbs and crushed them, taking his flask which had water in it to mix with the herbs for you to drink, when he hears it, a small beeping noise, the one he recognizes was for your heart, it starts of as smalls beeps but soon turns into rapid beeping. “Shit.” He immediately drops the bowl and runs over to you, breathing heavily as your hand holds your chest. He carries you slightly trying to get you to wake up calling out your name softly, “come on- please- wake up-” he puts his ear near your chest to see if your heartbeat is still quick. He slaps your face softly trying to get you to wake up, which you finally wake up to, he sees your eyes peeling open “hey- hey- breathe for me alright? Deep breathes okay, breathe with me” he tries to get your breathing to normal making you follow his breathing as well, he places your hands on his chest where his heart was. You look at him with slanted eyes, he clutches your other hand to keep you fully awake.

“Stay with me- please.” You breathe in and out slowly, your heart rate finally slowing down, you look at him, his eyes so full of worry, but he then realises you're fully awake and sighs in relief, you didn't want anyone to see you like this, not in your most vulnerable moment, “I'm sorry…” you breathe out heavily  “what?.. No- don't-” he sighs “don't be sorry- its fine, alright?” He helps you sit up, to be able to breathe properly, he stands to get the drink wh made for you earlier for you to drink, it was a little spicy but it helped you feel better, “I- uhm- I have a really, weak heart, and in some cases, I'd deal with things like this, it happens when in really scared or stressed and sometimes even both…” you don't really have to tell him he thinks, he obviously knows this about you, but he doesn't say anything  “but I can still help, I- I can still fight. This doesn't make me any weaker”  he nods and sits across from you “I know, it's okay…”  you look at him wanting to ask him something but you swallow it down feeling a little dumb for thinking about it. “If you want to say something, I'll be fine with it-” you look at him with a confused face “I just take time in learning some things, and I'm sorry if it's too much for you, but all I need is just- some help”  “like a motivation?”  “Well- something like that- but like I guess- encouragement?...” he laughs a little, a first for you since its a surprised that someone like him can laugh, but you don't think much of it. “Sorry- I did not mean to-”  “Yeah I know I know it's alright, I probably sound ridiculous anyway-”  “no no it isn't that- it is just- you are new to this after all, and I should've known better and understood that you were different”  you nod and smile a little bit from his understanding.

“Do you-”

“I am willing to-”

“Oh sorry you go first”

“Sorry you can go first”

You both laugh a bit “I am willing to compromise in another way so you'll be able to learn”  “I think so too…. How bout’ if you teach me and train me, I'll do the same and let you learn more about me and my life?”  “Really?”  “That's the best can think of so far- actually, that way we can understand each other more..?”  He stays silent for a moment contemplating on what to do “Unless it isn't what you want then we can just do other things instead-” “I like that idea, I think if we both learn from each others lives since we are different from one another then, it would be good for the both of us?”  “It's a deal then”  you stick out your hand in front of him, his lips turn into a sly smirk, taking your hand immediately and shaking it, there's no turning back from this he thought.

You lay back down to finally get a good ret from today’s events, finally having your body relax after hours being under the sun was something worth achieving after each day you think to yourself. “Goodnight I guess?....” you chuckle at your own sentence “sleep well” he responded back, you then turn to your side facing the wall letting your thoughts drift away…

“what am I gonna do with you…?” Neteyam whispers to himself before finally sleeping as well…

Tags : Tags : @glimmering-darling-dolly @teyamsatan @yumimak

Lmk if yall want to be tagged under this post !!! reblog, sharing, and liking this post would be super duper helpful and motivates me to write more for you guys!

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, Chapter 7

Pairing: Platonic Steven Grant x Reader (for now 😏)

Rating: T

Word count: ~2k

Story Summary: Steven meets a beautiful woman in the Egyptian exhibit at the British Museum...

...Too bad she's his new boss.

Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent since Steven still works for the British Museum post-canon, No Jake Lockley, developing friendship

A/N: Sorry that it's been a minute, folks! Non-fandom life is crazy right now and I also took a hard left into the Zorro (as in the 1950s Disney show) fandom for a hot minute before deciding that I need to finish at least one of my WIPs (most likely this one) before getting too deep into the fic I'm writing for Diego.

(Funny enough, I did the same thing to Matt Murdock with Steven. 😂)

Either way, updates should come a bit faster again than they had been!

Tag List: @runny-mascara

Being able to walk to work is so much more convenient than having to rely on the bus, Steven thought as he made himself a cup of tea in the staff kitchen. 

The bus route that ran nearest to his old flat had usually put him getting to work with just barely enough time to put his things away before he needed to get to work, but now that he had moved into his new flat closer to the museum he was able to come in, put his things away, and make himself a cup of tea before starting his day. That reminds me…

He picked up his cup and headed upstairs to Dr. Y/L/N’s office, smiling when he saw Helen sitting at her desk. “Good morning, Helen.”

Helen looked over at him with a smile. “Morning, Steven. I'm afraid Dr. Y/L/N isn't in quite yet.”

Steven shook his head. “Actually, I came up to speak with you.”

Helen nodded. “Oh. Well in that case, what can I do for you?”

“I need to update my home address, please.”

“Okay, that's no problem.” Helen put her glasses on and turned towards her computer. “You could've just emailed me, you know. There's no actual paperwork involved.”

Steven grinned. “Ah, but then I wouldn't have gotten to see your smiling face, now would I?”

Helen giggled like a schoolgirl and waved a hand at him. “Oh Steven, you charmer. You know how to make an old girl blush.”

She pulled up his employee information record. “Okay, what's your new address?”

Steven recited his new address as Helen typed the information in. “Mobile number and everything else is still the same.”

Helen nodded. “Alright, then, you're all set.”

“Brilliant. Thanks.” Steven turned as Dr. Y/L/N walked up. “Good morning, Dr. Y/L/N.”

“Morning Steven,” Dr. Y/L/N replied with a smile. “Morning, Helen.”

Helen smiled back at her. “Good morning, ma'am.”

Dr. Y/L/N stopped by Helen's desk. “Steven, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to chat with you about a few things… if you have time right now, that is.”

Steven nodded. “Yes, ma'am, I have time.”

“Wonderful. Let's go to my office.”

Steven followed Dr. Y/L/N into her office, pausing as she closed the door behind them. “How are you this morning?”

Dr. Y/L/N smiled. “I'm well, thank you. How are you? Have a good weekend?”

Steven nodded. “Yes, ma'am. Busy, but good. I spent the weekend getting settled into my new flat.”

Dr. Y/L/N’s eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. “Oh, I didn't remember you mentioning that you were moving.”

Steven nodded again. “My lease was up on my old flat and I wanted somewhere a bit bigger and closer to work. I'm actually not far from you, just up the street a bit.”

Another smile spread across Dr. Y/L/N’s face. “Oh, really? Well then, welcome to the neighborhood. Maybe we'll see each other around.”

“Thank you.” Steven bit his lip. “Er, actually, if you're not working late, maybe we can walk home together since we're going in the same direction.”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded. “Yeah, I'd like that. I don't have anything pressing on my schedule this afternoon, so I should be able to leave on time.”

Steven grinned. “Brilliant! So I'll meet you out front at 5?”

Dr. Y/L/N nodded again. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Steven took a sip of his tea. “So what did you need to see me about?”

“Few things, actually.” Dr. Y/L/N gestured to the chair in front of her desk.  “Have a seat.”

Steven sat and waited as Dr. Y/L/N walked around her desk and set her travel thermos of coffee down.

Dr. Y/L/N also sat. “Okay, first I wanted to thank you again for offering to help out in the gift shop last week until I could get the schedule rearranged in order to fill Donna's shifts. You really kept them -- and by proxy, me -- out of a bind.”

Steven shrugged. “It was the least I could do, ma'am. To be honest, I felt a bit responsible for causing the situation.”

Dr. Y/L/N shook her head. “The only person responsible for causing the situation is the person who is no longer employed here, but either way, I really appreciate it.”

She took a sip of her coffee. “The second thing is that we've had several new members join the board of trustees in the past couple of months, so I'd like for you to give the board a tour during the next meeting.”

Steven nodded. “Absolutely, ma'am. When is it?”

“Next Tuesday at 10 AM.”

“No problem. I'll put it on my schedule.”

Dr. Y/L/N paused to take another sip of her coffee. “And actually that brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. It's time for your 6-month evaluation.”

Steven nodded. All new hires and employees promoted into a higher position were given a performance review after their first 6 months before being shifted into annual reviews. “Wow, has it been 6 months already?”

“I know, I was surprised too.” Dr. Y/L/N gave him a soft smile. “I’m sure you already know what I'm going to say, which is that you're doing an absolutely wonderful job as our Visitor Engagement Specialist. We've gotten absolutely zero complaints about the tours since you took over the position -- in fact, our guided tour numbers have skyrocketed and museum memberships are the highest they've been in decades. And not only that, but you've been an excellent leader amongst the rest of the programming staff. I can tell that they really respect and admire you.”

Steven huffed out a breath of relief. He had figured that he would be getting a favorable performance review, but it was still nice to have it confirmed. “That's good to hear, ma'am.”

Dr. Y/L/N’s phone chimed with an alert. “Oh, sorry. Let me put that on silent.”

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, smiling brightly as she looked at the screen. She then tapped at it a few times before silencing it and putting it back in her pocket. “Sorry about that,” she said again. “My best friend is coming into town in a couple of weeks and she just sent me her flight information.”

“Oh that's lovely,” Steven replied. “Is she also an archeologist?”

Dr. Y/L/N shook her head. “No, she's a novelist. Amy Callahan?”

Steven tilted his head as he thought. “The name sounds familiar, but I don't know if I've ever actually read anything by her. I’m afraid I don't read much fiction.”

“It’s fine, I honestly wouldn't have expected you to have read anything Amy’s written.” Dr. Y/L/N shrugged, a small grin on her face. “She’s a spicy romance writer, so you're not exactly her target audience.”

Steven chuckled. “Well either way, I'm happy the two of you will be able to visit. How long will she be in town for?”

“Four days. Amy’s UK publisher is bringing her here on a book tour for her latest novel, but she talked them into flying her in a few days early so she and I can spend the weekend together. She'll be arriving next Friday evening and leaving for Manchester on Tuesday morning after her book launch Monday night.”

Steven took a sip of his tea. “How long has it been since you've seen each other?”

“Since right before I moved here. We FaceTime a few times a week, but it's not the same as getting to hang out in person.”

Steven nodded. “That's understandable.”

Dr. Y/L/N smiled and shook her head. “Anyway, that was all I had for you, so if you'll sign your review for me I'll make a copy for you then let you get back to your day.”

She slid the paperwork over to him and handed him a pen.

Steven quickly signed his performance review and handed it back to Dr. Y/L/N. “Here you are, ma'am.”

“Excellent. Thank you.” Dr. Y/L/N signed it as well, then stood and walked over to the printer to make a copy.

She handed Steven’s copy to him. “So I'll see you this afternoon then?”

Steven nodded as he stood. “See you then.”

He left her office, giving Helen a friendly wave as he passed her on his way to the elevator.

Once he had gotten back downstairs to his own office, he sat down at his desk and added the tour for the board of trustees to his calendar before beginning to read through his evaluation.

Employee Name: Steven Grant

Employee Personnel Number: P0013547

Employee Position: Visitor Engagement Specialist 

Date of Review: 19-August-2024

Reason for Review: 6-Month New Position Evaluation 

Steven skipped through the part that listed the museum’s mission statement and expectations of his position and instead focused on Dr. Y/L/N’s review of his job performance.

Steven has been extremely successful in his first six months as Visitor Engagement Specialist, Dr. Y/L/N had written. He has gone above and beyond in his role and has been instrumental in improving museum services and fulfilling the museum's mission statement. 

Steven is willing to assist other departments whenever needed to the best of his ability and without complaint. He is kind and respectful towards his colleagues and handles conflict with grace and professionalism.

As the Visitor Engagement Specialist, Steven has created tours that are insightful, educational, captivating, and  that highlight the museum's diverse and ever-changing collection without feeling rushed or overwhelming. He is highly praised as a tour guide by museum visitors and has done a remarkable job of training the Programming staff to present tours at the same level of quality. 

(See attached documentation.)

Steven flipped through the pages of notes and comments, smiling at the copies of thank-you cards and drawings he had received from school groups after their visits and the comment & suggestion cards the museum had collected from other visitors.

He glanced over at the large cork board on the far left wall of his office, which housed even more drawings and thank-you notes and cards from teachers and students. They were Steven's favorite groups to give tours to and he always loved knowing that the children had been excited and intrigued by their visit.

He finished reading over his performance review then tucked it away into a file folder in his desk drawer before sitting back with a smile.

Feels good to be appreciated, doesn't it? Marc said.

Steven’s smile widened into a grin as he caught Marc's reflection on his computer screen.

He picked up his work phone so if anyone passed by his office they wouldn't see him technically talking to himself. “Yeah, it does.”

Nice move offering to walk Dr. Y/L/N home, by the way. Gonna see if she wants to stop for coffee on the way?

Steven shook his head. “I probably shouldn't. Don't want her to think I'm only asking her because she gave me a good performance review.”

Marc raised an eyebrow. Do you honestly believe she would think that? The two of you have coffee and tea together all the time. 

“Yeah but that's here at work, that's… that's completely different.”

*Is* it though?

Steven bit his lip as he thought. Having tea with Dr. Y/L/N at a coffee shop really wasn't all that different from having tea with her in the staff kitchen at work -- as long as he maintained the same level of professionalism. “Yeah, I suppose you're right.”

So you're at least going to ask her, right?

Steven nodded. “Yeah, I think I might.”

He hung up the phone then finished his tea before setting his cup back down on his desk, energized for the day.

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S pt 2

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to him him

notes - college setting, matt gets more attention ! not proofread!

authors notes - sooo i hope yalls like this, its shorter than i would like it to be but nonetheless its out! hope you guys like this one and i promise ill be updating again soon. also taglist soon! ill be asking who wants to be on it very soon and making an official intro and masterlist soon. thank you to everyone who enjoyed the first part of smart ass!

——————————————————————————

——————————————————————————

6:14 pm

friday night rolled around faster than i thought it would, i strip off my diner uniform laying down in my bed in just my undergarments. i lay out a large sigh letting myself melt into my bed. 

my phone buzzed beside me with a notification posted on my lock screen. 

Matt S 🐼 

8120 palace road 7 pm, see u soon :) 6:18 pm

i drop my phone back down, ill just close my eyes for a second, cus that shift really took it out of me. my eyes fell and a light sleep rushed over me. 

————————————————————————

10:17

buzz. buzz. buzz.

buzz. buzz. buzz. 

i swiftly sit up and hear the repetitive ring of my cell phone. i see many notifications from my multiple social media apps and from matt. oh shit. MATT! I completely forgot about him!  

Matt S 🐼

hey are u still coming over? 7:32pm

i know we agreed on 7 but if you need time just tell me 7:55

just get over here when u’re able too, please get here safe 8:57pm

oh shit oh shit oh shit. i quickly slip on some sweats and a baggy crew neck and grabs my school bag, im glad i thought about packing it before work today. i swipe up my laptop from my small desk and dash out the door. my car unlocks as i drop everything that was in my arms onto the seat next to me and step on the pedal getting there as fast as i possibly could. 

i see the outside of the larger house neighborhood and finally get to the house I was told to come too, pulling into the driveway. I see a silhouette of a man in one of the windows. 

i grab all of my belongings scrambling to the door, clicking the doorbell. I hear a melodic tune ring throughout the house. footsteps grace the front door as the door swings open. matt's eyes widen as they scan my body. 

He pushes the storm door open and says “oh you came.”

“im SO sorry matt, i came home after my shift and i ended up falling asleep on my bed because there was this mishap at the diner and i got blamed for it and i swear to god my boss is such an idiot and im so fed up with his bullshit.” i take a deep breath in “and then i know we agreed  again i fell asleep like a goddamn idiot.”

he just stared at me like i was the idiot, “im sorry is what i meant to say.” i continued 

he chuckles a little before stepping back slightly giving me space to enter, “hey its alright just come on in. follow me.” he says using his hand signaling to come along. 

we make it to a fairly large bedroom, i see a gaming setup squished onto a desk that was clearly not meant for housing gaming paraphernalia. “you can throw whatever we need onto the bed, we can just study there. and get comfortable. I know it's late but i'm still okay to stay up and we can even order coffee and some food as well if we get hungry. there’s not much in the fridge but chris’ soda if i’m being honest.”

“i’m alright for right now so let’s just get started on studying” i say to him.  

————————————————————————

1:29

“did you get that?” i ask matt after reviewing what we just went through. 

“yuuuup” he says with a smile, i noticed that his eyes squint when he smiles or laughs, its cute. i don't really think he got half of what i was saying but i think i got my point across.

“ i think it’s a good time to take a break, and plus we’ve been at this for 2 hours already.” i lay my head down against his plethora of pillows and just take a deep breath in. he copies me and comes falling down onto his bed.

i feel his weight shift as he reaches over for a remote to turn on the tv in front of us booting up netflix. moving down to his recently watched “brooklyn 99” begins to play as i hear the familiar voice of andy samberg talking. the theme song plays as i look over the boy beside me. 

“you like brooklyn 99?” i ask him with a furrowed brow pasted across my face. 

“god i love this show, every single episode.” he tells me looking back at me, his eyes stray from my eyes to my lips to my body. i didnt mind it to be honest, i kinda liked it if anything. 

I directed my sight back to the show. We sat in a comfortable silence but i couldn’t stay focused for long as my eyes wandered over to his sweats, then his hand near them. being fair he actually was pretty fine, i heard rumors before that he slept around a bit a year ago but it was old news quickly. 

as we near our third episode my eyes feel heavy and all my cares slipped away again as i drift off to sleep in his bed. 

————————————————————————

2:49

ugh, i wake up feeling incredibly hot. i rip off my sweater and dip underneath the covers, wow my sheets feel really nice, very fluffy…. 

[ayuki-ikuya]

Helloooo sorry for no posts/updates I don't really commit to stuff long term, so you might find some random things from time to time.

Currently fixated on a couple of games, but lately it has been Pressure from Roblox, I haven't played it yet since I've been working (amongst delving into brain rot) and I created an OC

If you're unable to read the notes I added, don't worry about it cuz I'm gonna be explaining her and her backstory (just recently started doodling her pre-transformation look).

Subject Z-600 "The Idol" or Jolene, was previously a retired idol who was pregnant in the middle of her career. After retiring, she settled down with the baby father and committed to being a full time house wife. However, on ■■/■■/■■■■, there were screams of terror and gunshots within their own home. Jolene was found on the ground next to her husband and 3 year old daughter. While the vitals of the child and husband were flat, Jolene still survived even with two slashes at her throat, both of which damaged her vocal cords and remained a reminder of the incident.

Of course, Jolene couldn't bear the loss of her family, especially her little girl, who just spoken her first word a day before the incident, and made several attempts to join them after finding out she survived.

After thorough counseling and medical attention, Jolene was returned to society. Thoughts continued and before long, she ran out of medication and she stood on a bridge facing the ocean where she and her husband planned to take their daughter to, in order to see the fireworks together.

It was then that an agent had reached out to Jolene in person, asking if she had a life waiting for her to go back to. But Jolene shook her head and she joined Urbanshade.

Jolene was under the care of Dr. ■■■■■■■■■ who had injected her with Lions Mane Jellyfish which caused her to attain a Jellyfish like had with the appendages appearing like a wide brim sun hat and long hair. After that she was injected with Female Humback Whale DNA which was requested by Jolene, in which Dr. ■■■■■■■■ granted as they were a fan of Jolene back when they were younger. This caused a mutation in Jolene's body to take on a similar coloration of the DNA injected into her with her arms below the elbow turning into fins, while strangely her legs remained intact if excluding the coloration and jellyfish features, she still relatively maintained a humanoid shape. Until she was injected with a female Moray Eel did the Whumpback Whale DNA took full effect, now merging her legs together while stretching her entire body to 13'3 in length. They also found that all of her teeth were replaced with teeth similar to an eels. The final injection was from a female blanket octopus, which provided additional appendages from her hips and lower back that ended up creating a makeshift skirt for Jolene. The only problem that Jolene received, was no longer able to breathe properly with her gills, thus leading to her having to remain under water.

Thanks to the injections, there were no longer damages to her body, as her regeneration speed was increased, and she no longer is able to feel pain meanwhile is able to inject poisonous venom from the Jellyfish appendages thanks to the stingers. Her swim speed is also faster than average thanks to the fins and tail. However, her movement speed on land if she didn't have issues with breathing is rather slow.

The scientists rather enjoy watching her in the water as the coloration from the Lions Mane and Blanket octopus DNA is easy on the eyes, so they had her stationed in a large tank in an Employees break room since she also does performances in nostalgia for her idol days.

But it won't stop her from the trauma of losing her husband and daughter.

That's her backstory and whatnot, but let's get into her features for the game.

While the Player is searching underwater, they can occasionally hear someone singing, in which it's a sign that The Idol is close and wherever she is, it's a safe place for the Player to rest and usually it's in an employee break room that's been submerged underwater. This allows Jolene to swim around in the break room, too, before wandering elsewhere. After meeting Player's initial meeting with Jolene, she offers advice if the player plans to meet the boss or when exploring a new area. In other cases, if the Player is injured but has no medical supplies, Jolene can offer to transport the Player to Sebastian's hideout or if there is any medkits nearby in the safe room, she will grab them and assist the Player which doesn't use up the med kit. Of course the Players can interact with Jolene as well, but be mindful of where you touch, since she can only handle so much before having to cover her body with her Jellyfish stingers in order to stop the Player from touching her. If she is performing, the Player can interrupt her, but this will end up causing her to leave and leads to the room no longer being safe and is now a danger zone that will never return to being one of the safe zones. Talking with Jolene is also an option, and she enjoys having conversations, just as long as the Player doesn't bring up the past (it's a choice to bring up after reading her file).

After meeting Jolene 3 times in different Safe Zones, you have the option to move between the zones or head directly to Sebastians shop and back if you choose to go back through underwater.

Also for heigh comparison, here it is!

If you guys like the OC, I will let you guys know beforehand that I'm going to create a book about it!

[gibbearish]

"Am I Trans?" UQuiz Masterpost

hey there folks, my pinned was getting a bit unwieldy so i figured itd be prudent to set up this landing pad for uquiz visitors. this is not the FAQ, that is still in the works, this is just the intro stuff moved to its own post.

so, with all that out of the way, welcome! my asks and messages are currently OPEN and response times are SLOW. i will be updating this post on a regular basis, so if that says open then you can rest assured it is still current. or if it's not and i forgot to update it, that's on me, not you.

before anything else, i do just want to make it extremely, deeply, incredibly, achingly, transparently clear that i am not in any way a certified / licensed gender therapist. i do not have any training, nor is there an ethics board with which you can take up a complaint if i end up misreading things. i am simply a trans person on the internet who noticed a couple years ago that there were pretty much no "am i trans" quizzes that i could find that werent uhhh let's say unhelpful, and so i made my own, using my own feelings and experiences as a starting point. i may misread you, i may project myself or previous visitors onto you, i may get frustrated with you, i may be wrong about you. i ask that you try to give me grace, to remember that i am human, and to proceed at your own risk.

i take these conversations very seriously and want to be as thorough as possible, but that takes a good deal of work / effort / energy to do well, and as i am currently over a year into a massive depressive episode, that all compounds into long response times. which i do understand can be frustrating, feeling like you're waiting for someone's permission to be yourself (although if that is how it makes you feel, consider what that might say about the answer - i am not actually holding you back from anything by not responding. you can be trans, you don't need my permission or anyone else's. only your own), but i ask for patience, and that you please refrain from spamming me every time i come online. playing stardew valley is a lot less taxing than doing bootleg internet therapy. i haven't forgotten about you, i just havent found the right words yet.

in the meantime, i would recommend a quick scroll through my #uquibberish tag, which contains any asks from other uquiz visitors as well as posts i think are thematically relevant to a lot of these conversations. who knows, maybe you'll find that the answers you seek are very similar to the answers i've given another.

one thing to note is that asks do take a good deal less mental energy to respond to given the more one-and-done nature, so responses to those will likely be faster than for DMs, however i won't be able to get as personal (unless you give me a lot to work with, please do not feel self conscious about sending long asks/messages, they really are quite helpful in terms of giving me stuff to analyze). i also sometimes get a little silly with the ask responses, however i will still always make sure to include a real answer of some sort in the tags.

that all being said, i really do need to stress the fact that i am a real person you are talking to. i am not a gender therapy chatbot and i am not paid to do this. i do this because i want to help, but in order to do that successfully, i need your help as well. i do not know you as a person beyond the things that you tell me, and i am both unable and unwilling to simply assign you a new gender, to pluck your "true" gender out of your head. usually, all i really end up doing is pointing out what things are holding you back from the answer you already know. if you are unwilling to tell me anything about your thoughts and feelings, then i'm sorry, but i'm just. not going to be able to help you out very much. figuring out who you are is something that is difficult and takes a lot of introspection, and is something that you may even never actually get a solid answer on. the question you should be asking is not "what am i, really?" but "what do i want to be? what would it make me happy to be? how would i like to exist in my time on this earth?"

now, with all of that out of the way, i do also know that it can be difficult to know where to start, so here is a rough list of things that i've found helpful in the past. you do not need to provide any of these if you are not comfortable doing so, they are here exclusively to give ideas on where to start. now, with that out of the way:

- age range: to be clear, i do not need to know your exact age and you should always be wary of someone who asks for that. that being said, a general range can be pretty helpful for me to contextualize your message to your stage of life. like, think "middle school vs. high school vs. college or older" type general range.

- similarly, what country/state you live in, and if non-US, a bit about your local political climate vis a vis trans people. once again i do not want or need your exact location and you should be wary of those who try to get it from you, but for a lot of people, the main thing holding them back from transitioning is that the world simply isn't a safe place for trans people at the moment, so knowing if that is in play can be very helpful. I am a USAmerican and have a pretty good grasp of which way the states here tend to lean, and have a much rougher grasp on other countries. I don't want to go into this with some wildly propagandized version of your home in my head and would much prefer to get my information about it from you, the person being actively affected.

- your quiz answer and how it made you feel: with this one the important part is really the second part. i said this in the quiz itself but it bears repeating, i do not have any knowledge of how to properly weight the answers in a personality test, i assigned each answer a result (or multiple results) based entirely on vibes. that being said, if you are now having a lot of complicated feelings about your result, those feelings are the ones we're going to be examining. whether you've been having these feelings for a long time or they only just recently started, if you've been quizhopping searching for an answer (and if there's been a common denominator among those answers that you're avoiding looking in the eye), what the shape of those feelings are, that's the kind of thing we're going to be looking at. don't feel bad if you can't see the feelings themselves yet, this is an exercise in finding the negative space. the thing about facing the things you don't want to face is that you don't want to face them, which sounds obvious put like that, but like. you can't look straight at the sun without the right glasses. not without hurting yourself. the things your brain hides from you, takes away your ability to look at, are hidden for a reason, there is something that is scaring you, something you are defending against, a knot that must be unraveled before we can continue unwinding the thread. it's ok if all you can do for now is point to where the knot is.

- what name you used on the quiz and what day you took it: uquiz allows you to view individual quiz taker's results so if you are comfortable with it, i'm happy to take a peek through to see if there are any trends. as i write this the quiz is sitting at good god, 13000 takers, so if you keysmashed a name unfortunately it has probably been lost to the sands of time :( that being said...

- any questions / answers that hit especially hard: here is a link to a google doc where i've compiled all the questions and answers as reference, so this way if we can't find your quiz or you don't want to share the whole thing, we still have a pretty good starting point on which parts apply to you (side note, i also have a feedback form, however i couldnt think of very many specific questions to ask so just put in two textboxes for you to put your suggestions in)

- family dynamics: as with the country of origin question, something that can hold a lot of trans people back from transitioning is pressure from their family to. well. to not do that, so knowing if that is contributing can be very helpful

- friend dynamics: same as above, some people are held back by the potential reaction of their friendgroup, or alternatively are certain their friends would react positively but still can't shake that feeling, and figuring out if that fear is warranted can be a huge stepping stone in this.

that's all i have for now, though this post may be subject to changes as time goes on. as i said before i am also (slowly) working on a FAQ, so hopefully soon we'll have a way to bridge the response time gap. in the meantime, i hope this was helpful, and i do again highly recommend taking a look through the #uquibberish tag to see if any past questions/answers might apply to you as well. thanks!

(last edited 9/8/24)

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

A Voice Through the Nothingness Part 4

I have my final Uni assignments to finish so the next update might take a little longer, rest assured, I'm working on it when I have spare time.

Series Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Contains: Angst, very brief mention of suicide, fluff, nightmares, discussions of trauma, flirting through being protective.

4.4 K words

Comment if you want to be tagged or follow #a voice through the nothingness.

"But I can have spiders in my head as long as I don't let them consume me.” - T.J. Klune.

Knock knock

Billy knew what was coming, he had tried to put it off but he could only give so many excuses before the doctors started to fuss, his first appointment with the physiatrist was today. 

"Hello Mr Russo, can I come in?" Despite his frame, Dr Charles was the least intimidating person you could meet. 

"I don't really have a choice." Billy didn't think he needed this, he was doing fine. 

"Well no, part of your plan is talking to someone about what happened to you, we can't let you leave until you're cleared and there's no way you'll be able to return to work either, but maybe we can make the best out of a bad situation." 

Billy waved his hand, "fine, but don't expect me to do much talking and I want to be done by one so I'm not late for rehab." 

Dr Charles smiled, "I think we can manage that." 

"So what do you want to know doc?" Billy's fingers were tapping absentmindedly.

"I want to focus on what you want to know, you much have questions about how you got here?" He was very aware that Billy needed to take this slow, this wasn't the eighties, he had no intention of making him relive things his mind wasn't ready for. 

"I know I got blown up, I know that it was because the guy were protecting was dirty and I know something happened to my face. Other than that, everyone's been a bit light of the details." Light on the details didn't exactly cover it, the answer he was given every time he asked was some variation of "you got blown up." 

Dr Charles nodded, "I'm sorry about that, when coma patients have been through something that causes serious memory loss, we are always hesitant to overload them but I'm happy to ask any questions you have." 

Billy swallowed, "I wanna know what's wrong with my face, I've been awake for five days and no one's let me near a mirror. I can tell something wrong." 

Dr Charels took a deep breath, "You have some scars, I brought a mirror if you want to look but I want to go over some things first." 

Billy felt rage build inside of him, now, when he got angry, he felt like he was going to explode. "Fine, ask your questions, it doesn't matter to me." 

"How do you think a change in your appearance might make you feel?" Dr Charles knew he was going to be met with bravado. 

Billy huffed, "my line of work doesn't exactly rely on me being pretty." 

Doctor Charles nodded, "yes, but that's not what I asked. I asked how it would make you feel." 

Billy's fingers drummed faster, "I don't need to look good to like myself, you don't need to worry about me offing myself doc." 

"This isn't about suicide Mr Russo, I would have asked outright if I thought you were a risk. We all want you to get better and part of that is knowing what might cause setbacks." Dr Charles knew Billy wouldn't have been used to this kind of thing, all the military cared about was keeping men in the war. 

"So you don't care how other people see you? Most people do, even if it's just a little?" Dr Charles was impressed, things were going well.

"The people that matter don't give a shit how you look. Some of my men look like they've survived a horror movie and they don't have problems, why should I?" Billy just wanted to get this over and done with, Dr Charles was making it seem like he had lost half his face.

"Alright then, do you want a mirror?" He could tell Billy was getting agitated.

"What do you think?" Dr Charles reached into the pile on the side table and produced a rectangular mirror the size of a medium book before holding it in front of Billy's face.

There was a moment of shock before it sunk in, then he was hit with waves of different emotions all at once, rage, pain, sadness, loss and to his surprise, relief, it wasn't the worst thing he had seen, "getting blown up is right."

"If I'm being honest Mr Russo, you're taking this better than I thought you would, hell, you're taking it better than most people would." Dr Charles didn't know if he should be concerned, Billy was hard to read.

"Yeah, like I said, I don't need to look good to like myself." The rage was still bubbling at the surface, "you got any other questions doc, because I'd like to be alone right now."

Dr Charles shook his head softly, "no, not right now. I'll be back tomorrow Mr Russo."

Billy sighed, realising this was going to happen whether he liked it or not, "call me Billy, I guess we're going to be seeing a lot of each other."

Dr Charles smiled, "well then Billy, call me Daniel. I'll be in the same time tomorrow, good luck with your rehab today."

Billy managed to hold on until he couldn't hear Dr Charles' footsteps, then he couldn't hold on any longer. He couldn't recall the last time he cried the way he did once he was sure he was alone.

****

"Hey."

Billy felt a mix of feelings when Hazel walked into his room, "hey, I like your scrubs."

She smiled, "elephants are awesome, did you know that when they're babies, they don't really know what to do with their trunks?"

Billy shook his head, "nope, but I do now."

"You doing ok? You seem a bit deflated." Hazel knew Billy had seen Dr Charles early that morning, he had spent the last few days complaining about it.

"Is there a reason no one told me about my face?" His demeanour made sense now.

"Yeah, we were told not to. It's kinda hard to tell someone that they have a whole bunch of scars on their face and doing it wrong is really really bad so we like to play it safe and wait for a shrink to do it." Hazel took her place by his bed and took a deep breath, "do you have any questions? I'm sure you've got so many things running through your head?"

Billy swallowed, "what the hell happened, how did this happen?"

Hazel thought for a moment, "If you like, I can go over your chart with you, we can go through each injury and you can ask all about it, how does that sound?"

Billy's fingers began to drum, "yeah ok."

Hazel popped up and grabbed his chart at the end of his bed before sitting back down and opening it to one of the early pages, "vertical laceration with horizontal branching of the right cheek, two vertical lacerations of the forehead with left laceration extending into the hair line, long vertical lacerations from temple to cheek on the left side, two horizontal lacerations to the nose bridge, shrapnel starburst wound of the left cheek. Glass removed from six of seven wounds."

Billy's fingers continued to drum as he took in the information, "so that's what they saw when you first came in. Your chart then talks about all the surgeries you had and how all the damage to the muscles and nerves was repairable because the glass made clean cuts. I'm guessing you were facing a window or glass door when it happened and the explosion sent everything flying at your face, a bomb tec will tell you the rest."

Billy huffed, "Have you seen the video of those stab proof shirts?" Hazel nodded, "when we have high risk clients, we wear them. The only thing that was unprotected was my face. I got off lucky, had the glass been different, I might not be here. I don't want plastic surgery, make sure they know that."

Hazel placed her hand on Billy's forearm and the tapping stopped, "that's your choice and I think it's the smart one, you've already had a lot of surgery and your body has been under a lot of stress. If you can feel and move your face and the scars don't matter to you then there's no reason to even think about it."

"Do you think they matter?" There was something sad in Billy's tone.

"Nope, not one bit. You work with guys with facial injuries right, do they still live full lives?" She could see Billy sorting through his mind.

"Yeah, they do. Hell, one of them is married to a model and they met after he got burned." Hazel could see the resolve coming over him, like he had found a solution to all his problems.

"There you go, if anyone cares Billy they are not worth your time or effort and if a client cares, then you should take them for all their worth. I know this won't mean anything, but you don't really notice them after a while, I'm not looking at a scarred face, I'm looking at you and I'm alright with that." Billy's chest felt funny, like a mix of butterflies and bravado.

"You're good at making people feel better." The smile Hazel gave him only grew the feelings rumbling under his ribs.

"Well I'd hope so, that's what they pay me for. But you're going to have another session with Dr Charles today because as much as I can talk to you until the cows come home, I'm not qualified to for that kind of making people better." Hazel's tone made it clear he didn't have a choice.

"You really think it will help?" Billy trusted Hazel completely, no matter how hesitant he was about talking to a shrink.

"I do, and I like I said, I talk to him once a month too. It will be worth it and you don't have to talk about the explosion, you can talk about anything. I'm not going to claim to know how fighting overseas has affected you but you had to have seen some shit that keeps you up at night, maybe if you talk about that you can kill two birds with on stone." She sounded a bit like Curt trying to get him to come to group.

"You've missed your calling a UN negotiator." Billy didn't know why he trusted her so much, maybe it's because she was always so genuine with him.

Hazel made a face, "Those assholes are useless. I got my skills getting five year olds to take their cough medicine, they got theirs failing to convince warlords to not be monsters."

Billy laughed, his face spilling into a grin, "that's what I'm saying, if you were with us the Taliban would have tossed in their guns on day one."

Hazel sighed, "you can butter me up all you like, I'm still paging Dr Charles when my two hours are up."

Billy shook his head fondly, "there's no getting anything passed you."

"Nope. Now, I have some major gossip about that new military contracting company and you are going to want to hear it." Hazel had a suggestive smile on her face.

"By the look on your face, it's either a sex scandal or the mob." Billy,knew they weren't a threat but he was happy for the leverage.

"Oh it's a sex scandal and it's real juicy." Billy could tell she was busting to spill the beans.

"I'm dying to know."

****

"I'm glad you asked to get me back here Billy, what made you change your mind?" Something about Billy was definitely different.

"Look, Doc, it's not that I don't believe in this stuff, my buddy runs a vet's group that does amazing work, I just don't think I need it, but I know I'm not getting out of here with the all clear and I can't do my job without a gun so how do you do this?"

Dr Charles smiled, "you seem like the type of man that does best when you have a mission, I'm guessing that's how we got here?"

Billy nodded, "you can take the man out of the Marines but you can't take the Marines out of the man and you're right, once I was awake enough to have a goal to focus on, that's all I did."

"That's real good Billy, it certainly makes my job easier. Therapy isn't much different to what you've been doing, if you can give me a goal, we can find a way to work towards it." Judging by the bags under Billy's eyes, Dr Charles was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Sleep, I can't fucking calm down enough to sleep at night." Billy sounded fed up.

"Yeah, I noticed you're only getting two hours a night, you got an ideas about why you're having trouble other than not being able to calm down?" He knew the answer to that too.

"I'm worried about nightmares, I get flashes sometimes of what I think it the explosion but I've been through it once, I don't need to go through it again." Billy's voice was a mix of fear and anger.

"That's fine with me. We'll start with a sleeping pill, something really mild and we'll go from there. How does that sound?" Dr Chrales was growing more hopeful but the minute.

"I don't want to be stuck in a nightmare Doc, I've been there before too." Billy's fingers started to drum against the bed.

"That's fine with me too, if you get them tonight, I can give you some Prazosin. It's not a permanent fix and we'll have to deal with the cause of the nightmares but it will let you get some sleep and we'll handle the rest when you're ready." He could see the relief on Billy's face.

"You know Doc, the last time I couldn't sleep, I went to a doc at the VA and he told me that I have to learn to deal with the nightmares. He wanted to dose me up and make me go through them every night so I could expose myself to them." Billy was proud he could still read people, even with a scrambled brain, because Dr Charles was angry.

"I'm really sorry you had to go through that Billy, we don't do exposure therapy anymore, we now know that exposing people to their traumas before they're ready is harmful and it denies your ability to choose your treatment. If one day you decide that's the way you want to go them we can jump in with both feet, but until them, let's just make sure you get a good's night rest. How does that sound?"

Billy smiled, "that sounds good Doc."

****

"Come on Bill, you're getting old, don't you want to find someone and settle down?" Frank sounded like a grandmother. 

"Like I keep telling you man, I'm doing my duty, I can't leave the beautiful women of this city with cold beds." Billy had seen what Frank had gone through after Rawlins killed Maria and the kids, he wasn't one for setting himself up for heartbreak. 

"You think she won't like you once she gets to know you Bill, you don't give yourself enough credit." Billy sucked on his tongue, Frank didn't need to go dragging shit up. 

"You tell Karen everything we did over there, how the CIA sent us after Rawlins when he went bad, about all the shit that keeps you up at night?" Billy already knew the answer, he was just trying to shut Frank up. 

"You bet I did, we're still together, aren't we? It ain't as scary as you think it is. The right woman won't care." Frank sounded so sure of himself. 

"Alright Frankie, I'll take your word for it but right now, I'm just sharing the wealth." Billy hoped that would be enough for Frank to let it go. 

The shrill buzzing of an emergency ringtone cut Frank's reply. Billy watched as Frank listened to the person on the other end, his face slowly becoming a mix of anger and worry, there was a pause and Frank looked around, the phone still glued to his head, before his eyes went wide. 

"Get away from the wind......" 

Billy's eyes shot open, his heart racing in his chest as he tried to get his bearings. His whole body hurt but it was a strange pain, like fantom claws ripping into his flesh, he managed to raise his arm but before he could touch his face, his shoulder crumbled in agony. 

Parts of the nightmare faded, leaving only his conversation with Frank left. As much as he hated the lingering panic in his chest, he was grateful the memories were returning. 

****

Knock knock

"Yeah." 

Hazel wandered in with a smile on her face, the blue of her shark scrubs making her brown eyes look like obsidian under the bright lights, "for a man that clearly hasn't slept a wink, you look happy." 

Billy nodded, "I am, I saw Daniel this morning, he thinks I'm making good progress." 

Her smile widened, "really? That's great."

She took her spot by his bed and he reached his hand out for her to take, Hazel's hand sliding into his, "you're right, I didn't sleep last night but the doc's going to give me some drug to help with the nightmares and the bonus is I remember some of what happened."

"Prazosin, it's an amazing drug. I was on it for about four months after I was attacked." Like usual, Billy was grateful for her openness.

"Did it work?" Billy could see Hazel was thinking about her answer.

"Yes, they didn't go away entirely but I didn't wake up in the middle of a panic attack and it gave me time to heal so I could get to the root of what was causing them without worrying about falling asleep every night. Coming of them was a bit of a bitch, I had the weirdest dreams for about six weeks but I'm better now and when I have nightmares, I use the techniques Dr Charles have given me to feel better." That burning anger was back, it struck Billy how fierce it was.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, I'm not sorry you shot him." Hazel squeezed his hand as her thumb stroked his skin.

"Neither am I. But enough about me, tell me how the news about that scandal has spread." Billy smiled, Marines gossip worse than school girls and he was more than happy to take part.

"Oh, you're going to want to strap in because it's a wild ride."

Two Weeks Later

Billy knew what he was caple of, he had already pulled himself up from the dirt once and he was going to do it again but right now, all he could focus on was the blinding pain in his limb. It came hard and fast and he had cramps so bad they wrapped his body in agony and pins and needles that made him feel like he was being dipped in a pot of boiling oil.

None of that mattered, all Billy focused on was getting better. Rehab became a mess of tiny improvements and waiting for the misery of pain to ebb back into the background.

Billy forced himself to hover at the edges of conciseness, waiting for Hazel's daily visit. Today's physio session had been almost unbearable, but that didn't stop him from asking for more. Right now, he was psyching himself up to ask for more pain meds. He was having at least one session a day with Dr Charles and it was sinking in that it was ok to ask for help, that he didn't need to cope with pain, if only the nurse would hurry up.

He popped in, clicking his pen and Billy considered killing him with it, only to be handed two pills and have a cup shoved in his face. Billy lifted the drugs to his mouth and took the cup from the man, "I can do that myself now, it should be in my chart."

The man gave him a fake smile, "sorry about that, I'm only a student and they've just giving more responsibilities, I can't keep track of everyone."

The glare Billy gave the man had him think twice, "right, I will be back in an hour to see how you're feeling."

Billy blinked, an hour seemed like an awfully long time.

****

"Billy, holy shit are you alright?" Hazel sounded so worried and he hated it.

"I'm fine, the meds aren't working." His voice was tight.

Her eyebrows wrinkled, "that doesn't make sense, they've been working fine so far." Her face as she read his chart told him all he needed to know.

"Lizabeth, get in here now." She sounded enraged and Lizabeth seemed to pick up on it as she came racing in.

"I just heard my government name in front of a patient we've both known for months, what is it?" Hazel handed her Billy's chart and if he thought Hazel looked scary when she was angry, Lizzy was something else.

"Fucking Tylenol? I'll go get him, he's been a problem since he got his med privileges. Knight will have him on his ass after this." Lizabeth left for a moment and returned with the nurse who had come into his room before.

"Do you know how to read a chart?" Hazel was already up and shoving the chart in the student's face before returning to Billy's side.

"Yes, I do." He sounded pissed.

"You clearly don't. 'The patient is to be given Tizanidine at first request and Tramadol upon second request. On call doctor may exercise discretion if stronger drugs are needed.' This cocktail has been working since Billy woke up, is there any reason you went over the heads of five doctors, the head nurse and his two personal nurses? Keep in mind I have nothing to do with this, he's not my patient but I still agree with this plan." Lizabeth didn't step in to stop the hell Hazel was about to give him.

"These drugs are addictive and Mr Russo is going to be here a while, he needs to learn to cope with his pain." There was a pause and Billy could see Knight getting nervous.

"You got a name?" If Billy was in less pain, this would have been a sight.

"Jared Brooks." Jared had the face of a man who didn't know what was coming to him.

"Well Jared, you've only been working in a hospital for six months and you've only had the privilege of handing patients their meds for two days. You are not allowed to give them anything not listed in their chart, you are to get them from your med cart. You're lucky you're not on my ward, my head nurse would have dragged you to the stress herself. Lucky for you, the head nurse for long term care is doing the right thing and at a conference for new treatments. What do you have to say for yourself?" Billy was ready for Hazel to kill him.

"I made a mistake, it won't happen again." He was still as smug as he was when this started.

Billy watched Hazel carefully, he knew what was about to happen, "You make a mistake, a mistake? Oh no, you made more than a mistake, you mistook your ego for medical care and risked the mental, physical and emotional health of a patient to prove a point about something you don't even understand. You didn't make a mistake, you made what could have been a fatal error in your judgement. You are the worst student nurse I have ever met for a teaching hospital, that's saying something. I can only assume that you used the fact that our actual staff were busy to take advantage of the people that needed you the most. I have no words to describe…"

Billy reached out and grabbed her hand, "you're going to make the poor man cry. I'm not mad, everyone makes mistakes Hazel. I'm sure Mr Brooks will be dealt with."

Lizabeth spoke up, her voice hard, "Get off the premises now or I will have you removed, you can expect us to call your academic board within the hour." She turned to Billy, "we will let you get some rest and the meds you need. This is the second time he's done this today, he won't be coming back."

Billy eagerly swallowed the handful of pills Lizabeth handed him and rested back on the pillows while she closed the blinds and quieted the room, "I'll hang here and give him the good news."

Lizabeth nodded, "thanks Hazel, buzz if you need anything."

Lizabeth left and Hazel relaxed into her chair, "I was coming in to tell you something wonderful so I'm sorry you got to see me Hulk out."

Billy laughed, "you kidding me? If you ever need a job at Anvil, it's yours, I thought you were going to hit him."

Hazel huffed, "I fucking wanted to."

The tension was leaving his body by the second, "tell me the good news."

He could hear the joy in Hazel's voice, "long term care and the peds ward share a state of the art rehab room. Now that you're in the low support section and we've got you sleeping, you've been cleared to start your rehab over there."

Billy's chest felt funny, "does that mean I get to see you in action? I know the nurses take their patients and help out, Dr Charles said it was something about continued support."

Hazel nodded, "yep, we pride ourselves on not only having support networks within wards by within wings too. We go where your patients go to the best of our ability. Now, I can't say it will be easy but it's not like you're not already going through it so you'll be fine."

Billy grinned, the pain almost gone, "I get to see you work, not just hear about it from everyone. You know Lizzy and Dr Charles say you're one of the best peds nurses they ever met?"

Hazel broke eye contact with a slight smile on her face, "I know, they've told me. But I've also been told I'm a big meanie, we end up sharing a section you might change your mind."

Billy smiled, "I'm looking forward to it. I get to see where all my tax dollars are going."

Hazel shook her head fondly, "get some sleep Russo, you're going to need it."

Part 5

[navibluebees]

Someone to be Proud of (Recom Quaritch x Human Female Reader) - Part 8

Please read before interacting.

Okay, you guys. Bear with me. We are officially off-roading. The events of The Way of Water have ended and I do not know where this ride is going, I'm just following where the characters lead lol I was going to wait to post another update, but I really like this one and I just can't wait. Hope you like it! Sorry, more angst, but I hope the end will be worth it.

Grief did funny things to the mind. You let out a cackle, and turned around. You hadn’t forgotten the deep tone of his voice, the way it came over you, undoing every thread of your determination. He broke down your walls and even shared his own vulnerability with you. It’s only reasonable that in this vast forest, grief consuming your being, that you would picture him in front of you. He was so so tall. He had cuts across his face, bruises blossomed around his neck and over his cheeks. Unable to handle the despair that wallowed in your soul, you collapsed and curled in on yourself. At the last moment of consciousness, you felt arms come around you in a gentle embrace.

~~~

After Spider had rescued him, Miles flew cupcake back to Bridgehead. It had taken a few days. He was so weak, but was able to rest in the forest and found food easily. The third day, he finally made it, stomping into the base. He sought General Ardmore, dismissing the shocked faces around him. He made his way to the center of operations, stumbling into the doorway as he came through. An aide called for medics and they came running down the hallway, bandaging his deeper cuts and putting ointment on the more shallow ones. He swatted them away, breathing heavily and someone came forward with a mask that he took a deep pull of. 

Once he’d caught his breath, he debriefed with Ardmore. She was overwhelmingly unimpressed. “All that, and you still failed? Incredible. It seems you aren’t who everyone said you were.”

He reeled back, eyebrows furrowed. He’d followed every order. Every. Single. One. Why could she not see that?

“We will have to find somewhere for you to go until your next mission. Who knows when that will be with all the other recoms dead or missing? Just go to your old room for now. Dismissed.”

“Wait, but where is Y/N?”

“Oh, yes. I heard about your little fling with the human. She was going to a site with her team when the train blew up. Never recovered her body. Pity. We’ll have to send for another to take her place.”

His temper flared and he clenched his hands into fists. He stood up quickly, smacking away the hands that still tried to attend to his face. He stalked from the room, heading toward the sacred space he had shared with you. 

Fucking bullshit.

That night when he unpacked his gear, he left all of it in the recom bay. He got together a bag of more ammo, another weapon, some food and water. He left everything, aside from a couple changes of clothes, given to him by RDA in his room. He walked out normally, soldiers at the exits nodding to him. He went to the outskirts of Bridgehead and whistled sharply. Cupcake called once to him and landed right ahead of him. He ran up and made the bond, flying away as soon as he could tie his pack down. The wind blew harshly in his face as he urged Cupcake on faster.

He had found the coordinates of the train crash and flew as quickly as he could. He saw the melted metal from the train car, the giant rubble from the wreck. He dug through it until his fingers bled, no sign of you. He screamed soul-deep to the sky, falling to his knees. The wildlife called back. He jumped onto Cupcake again and flew into the forest. They landed in a high tree, branch wide enough to sleep on for both of them. Miles wept bitterly, completely lost.

~~~

His thoughts jerked back to the present when you tensed up in his arms. He felt you grab his arm, panicking due to waking up in the air. When you had collapsed, a wave of fear crashed over him again, thinking he had lost you. You were breathing slowly, however, only passed out. He made sure your mask was sealed tightly and gathered you up onto Cupcake. 

“Ka’ani you scared me. Is the mourning ceremony over? Where is everyone else?”

You looked up slowly and screamed, Miles flinching back, Cupcake, sensing his alarm, halted and screeched in midair. Miles landed quickly, a hand slapped over your mouth, to muffle your screams. When he landed, you rolled off too quickly and landed on your shoulder, crying out. He tried to step to you but you threw up a hand, screaming, “Get away from me!”

Miles’ ears flattened and he looked at you sadly and confused. He stepped to you again, trying to help you up and look at your shoulder, but you shoved him hard in the stomach, causing him to stumble back. He sat on his heels, eyes pleading, reaching for you. 

“Do. Not. Touch. Me, “ you hissed.

You sat there in the clearing together, crying quietly and clutching your shoulder. You rocked back and forth muttering, “It’s not real. They’re coming back. It’s just a bad dream.” You squeezed your shoulder to pull yourself back in reality and groaned at the pain. Blinking your eyes open you saw him looking hurt and confused across from you. 

“You’re dead. You’re not real. Goawaygoawaygoaway.”

His eyebrows pinched together and he reached again, “Doll. I’m here. I’m with you. You’re safe.”

You shoved him, toppling over with him, holding your hurt arm against your body. You pounded his chest uselessly with your fist. “You. Are. A. Murderer.”

He grabbed your hip and caught your flailing fist. “Murderer? I am a soldier.”

You finally opened your eyes. “Soldiers don’t hold children hostage. I saw them. I saw you. I saw you burning a village. Holding a gun to that boy’s head. Those are not the acts of a soldier,” you hissed venomously.

His eyes flickered with conflict, the thoughts from his mind haunting him over again as they came from your mouth. Your eyes widened, face crumpled and fell into his neck. “I thought you were dead.” He arms came tentatively around you and held you tightly to his chest, soothing softly and brushing a hand down your back. When you had stopped your sobbing, you pulled away, getting off of him. He watched you pace, tail flicking anxiously, waiting for you to speak. 

“You have to take me back. They will be wondering where I went.”

“No, absolutely not. I won’t leave you with those.. those-“

“Those what, Miles? The People? You look like them! You are them! You are not human anymore, Miles. You fight for the wrong side. You have caused too much pain. A child has died from this. They were mourning him at the tree. Jake Sully said you died. How? How are you here?

“.. You talked to Sully?”

“That is not your concern anymore. Explain.”

“Lyle shot him. They were trying to run away. To take Spider. He couldn’t let them get away.”

You scoffed. “You think that boy will have anything to do with you after shooting his friend?”

“But I didn’t! It was Lyle! I-“

“Miles. You may as well have. You are responsible for Lyle. You allowed this violence. Encouraged it from what I have seen. You are not the man I thought you were. Take me back. I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

Miles’ heart split in his chest. It cleaved a great black hole that he would never stop feeling. He nodded. He offered a hand to you, but you stood on your own, making your way to Cupcake. Cupcake brushed a cheek against yours, having formed an unusual bond with you. You reached up to scratch behind Cupcake’s queue, a deep humming coming from their chest. You climbed up carefully with one arm and paused before swinging yourself up and scooting to the front of the saddle. Miles connected the bond and paused, Cupcake letting out a mournful sound. He swung up behind you, putting a hesitant arm around your waist and holding you tightly before lifting up in flight. 

~~~

He dropped you off near where you had waited before. You could already hear whistles and people calling your name. You both stilled quietly on Cupcake. His hand shook, he leaned down, curled over you and you felt his nose against your ear. A tear crawled down your cheek and you let out a violent sob, leaning into him before you pulled away and slid down. You walked away, clutching your arm and called out to the searchers telling them you had fallen and gotten hurt. He could hear a strong, male voice chiding you for wandering off. But… you weren’t his anymore. He flew off, staying low to avoid being seen.

Honor. Courage. Commitment. Useless to a broken heart.

***

Taglist:

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @mechformers @nuttyrebelflower

[chattercap]

Future Plans for Actala

Sorry for the kind of sporadic updates, I do need to be better about posting here! I post devlogs on my itch page monthly, and I've decided to crosspost the latest one here since it has some important info about Actala's future development! A copy of my latest itch devlog is under the cut!

Hello, happy June!

It's been another month (time really does fly)! 

No Actala updates this time, as I ended up increasing the scope a bit on my Otome Jam project so I had to divert my attention to that (please look forward to some EXCELLENT voice acting)! Karamu will release sometime in the next couple of weeks!

But although I don't have any updates for Actala, I do have a bit of an announcement. As you might know if you played through the demo, I originally planned to illustrate the story 100% with CGs and mini-CGs. This was...unrealistic (as basically anyone with half a brain could have told you, I imagine). 

This was something that became EXTREMELY apparent as I worked on Karamu. I thought I scoped very realistically (a simple scene with 2 characters and only 10k words), and I hoped to finish the game within a month. However, while I finished the script in a week, I've spent almost 2 months on the illustrations. (If I extrapolate that out for Actala, where the current script is 250,000 words...I won't finish the thing for another 4-5 years...)

Part of that is that I've been experimenting with more complex/highly rendered CGs, and taking more care with the color and compositions (you can see a sample below). For Actala, I adopted a more simple coloring style because of the high volume of illustrations, but I was never really happy with them. Rather than putting out a ton of illustrations that I'm not happy with, I'd prefer to put out a smaller number that I'm more satisfied with.

If I'm being honest, I didn't adopt the "CG only" strategy for any deep reason in particular. It was mainly a snap decision based on insecurities with my own art, as I felt like my art couldn't really stand on par with other VNs (so I decided to create value with quantity over quality). However, ultimately I think it's detrimental to the project. The amount of work required for the art just dwarfs everything else, to the point where I put off the other tasks to make a SMALL dent in the art (for instance, I really want to improve the GUI, which looks a bit clunky and not super elegant...) 

So from now on, I will most likely adopt the sprite format for Actala, instead of utilizing exclusively CGs. Those sprites may or may not be animated; I'll try it out and see how I feel about them. You can still expect a lot of CGs from me, but not exclusive! Interestingly, I actually planned to do sprites in the early stages of development, and I finished almost all of them. These are over a year old at this point, so they will be completely redone, though! 

I hope that this isn't disappointing to anyone (it probably isn't; I'm just stubborn as an ox when it comes to my impulse decisions...) But from a projection perspective, it's just 100% impossible to get Actala out on any reasonable timeline with the approach that I was taking. This way, I'll be able to get the game out a bit faster (with nicer illustrations, just fewer of them)! And it will give me a little more time to polish other aspects of the game, and perhaps work on a few more side projects ;)

For the rest of this month, I'll be finishing out Karamu. Then at the start of July, I'll take a bit of a game dev break before tackling the sprites! Expect to see some sketches in the next devlog~

If you read this far, thank you! See you next month :)

Chattercap

[heehoighofoxijin]

I wrote a fanfic for The Price of Flesh!

Sorry to everyone hoping it'd be a Bungo Stray Dogs update

It can be read here on AO3. This fic plays with the idea of a casino being the cover for the Announcer's...business. If you'd prefer not to go on AO3? No problem, just keep reading.

There are a lot — and I mean a lot — of ways to win money at casinos. There are even more ways to lose money at casinos. I have had my share of wins and losses throughout life, and dear reader I must say that I'm not proud of either moment. You may think I am incredibly happy with the money I was able to take back home with me. Unfortunately, I will not be taking any money home with me as a result of one very skilled play at roulette. So here's the deal:

Step One: Strategize.

With a million and some odd strategies and their methods floating around in books and on the internet, it's hard to take gambling seriously without employing the use of at least one. I would read so intensively on these and come up with my own to win the games. Those such strategies would get me kicked out of most casino. Let's ignore the gambling addiction that caused me to leave my spouse and child behind for a moment, and instead focus on the casino I lost everything to.

It was a remarkable and incredibly beautiful space. Everyone around me had my imposter syndrome running rampant in their dress suits and gowns. The community around this space was absolutely booming and full of personality. Even the voice calling out on the intercom announcing special events was charismatic. You might even say his voice was hypnotizing — possessive. He had a charming command with the way he spoke. I was hooked on the atmosphere immediately, and with the last of my money I was determined. The possibility of me winning large here was so far under my nose I couldn't even smell the stench of bankruptcy. I carried on over to the slots for a warm up.

After about three consecutive losses, I opted for blackjack. It was not exactly my specialty, you see. Math was never something I excelled in, and when it came to counting cards I was an absolute idiot. This was only made worse by the fact that there may indeed have been someone counting cards at my table. So after one lucky win and one lucky loss, I left the table for the rest of my time there.

Step Two: Be desperate.

I was counting my money constantly — although very badly — you see. At the time the only way I felt I could show my face around my family again was if I won back all the money I lost with an incredibly lucky break. We could hardly afford housing then, and this was the only way I knew how to move forward. When my body started sounding hungry, I decided to find my way to the restaurant and get myself something to wrap my teeth around. Maybe if I go in with my mind at full power, I can make it up. That's what I was thinking.

So I spent more of my money and ate whatever I was served. A waitress gave me free desert, which was incredibly kind of her. With little money left, I returned to play. Here and now there would be no turning back. After all I'd spent, I only came out with one win, and it was a mediocre payout. All the colors and lights and clashing of chips brought a cold comfort to my tired heart. There was no other choice left for me. My body moved on its own to roulette.

"Pay less to win big!" The Announcer cooed through the intercom. "Until further notice, ladies and gentlemen, the money you put down will be doubled on payout. Farewell, and good luck!" Faster. Under my feet, the carpet moved faster. I arrived at the table with a speed unmatched by any other and began my play.

Step Three: Be one lucky son of a bitch.

Maybe I made it out to be more about strategy when I first began, but really I just got incredibly lucky. Every single time I bet, I managed to win. My winnings amounted to enough money to finally go back to see my family and proudly stop my gambling addiction. The world and all the stars in the sky aligned perfectly for this moment. What I didn't know exactly was what this moment meant. Normally at this point someone would come and pull me from the table to see me out, but this time was different. Someone came by with a large grin on his face and stood by my side.

His whispers were like sweet honey in my ear. It was The Announcer "I've been watching you play all night." It was night already? I hardly even noticed. "It seems you've finally caught a lucky break! I'd like to show you something, if you don't mind peeling away for just a moment."

I stood from my place at the table with a large smile on my face and followed him. The Announcer showed me to a golden door marked Members Only and handed me a keycard for the panel on the side. "Are you really giving me this?"

"Yes! I hope to see you again soon," he cheered, rubbing my shoulder before leaving me to open the door myself. When I glanced back to get a proper look at his face, he was already lost in the crowd. Swiping the card caused the machine to make a light beeping sound, and a green light appeared on the device. I turned the handle on the door and slowly opened it. And I thought the people in the main lobby were fancy. These members of the casino looked even fancier. Miraculously, The Announcer was on the other side of the door. It was still difficult to see his face with how dark the lighting was in this area. He showed me around without saying much of anything. Mostly, "This is where this happens. This is where that happens. You can sleep here one night for free."

Around me the people were exchanging chips for access to a large variety of services. They'd won these chips, I presumed, on the game floors of the Member's Only area. People went up to one of the many redemption counters and received whatever they asked for. Everything came in thousands. The price of coffee? 1,000 chips. The price of a giant teddy bear? 15,000 chips. The price of a cat? 20,000 chips. The price of flesh? I didn't want to think about it. I moved over to look at a board that posted the sorts of things you could redeem with the chips you won here. Thankfully there was no mention of flesh.

I took him up on the free night. By now my eyes were getting heavy, and I would need my rest if I wanted to be able to show a happy face to my family. With enough money to support us for 50 years in our bank account, I retired to a hotel room that was part of the Member's Only side of the building.

Never has a bed held me so lovingly before. I sank into the mattress and allowed it to carry me off to another world. A world where all of my winnings for the night weren't gambled away and actually stayed to help our family prosper. A world where my partner loved me, my child was proud to call me their parent, my coworkers revered me for how hard I worked, and a world where I could look in the mirror and see someone who conquered their demons. It was a wonderful dream to have.

Step Four: Know that they who spin the wheel of fate lie their lives in the hands of whosoever wrote that fate.

I awoke to find myself in a dark room with a bag over my head and tied to a chair. This was not the beautiful world I closed my eyes to. This was a different monster entirely. Staring back at me through the darkness were tiny little white bugs of light that, try as I might, I could not reach for. To be in the light again was my only wish, but as fate would have it I did not deserve it. Perhaps there is something to be said about the perfectness of it all. I wouldn't know how to say it, though. And how badly my spouse must be wishing this fate upon me, I could only imagine.

Laying my life in the hands of the wheel did not play out any better for me when the bag was lifted. It was still incredibly dark, and from behind me, I heard the voice of The Announcer. I couldn't understand what he was saying at all. His beautiful, smooth voice laced my ears with so much honey I could hardly make out syllables. For a moment, I thought I was going deaf. That was until I was finally able to focus.

He was speaking to me. "What would you like to have done with the money you won?"

I thought about it for a moment. The situation would normally call for some fighting back, but I was far too tired to be doing that. "My family," I muttered. "They're going to need it. Please, just give them everything I managed."

He didn't say anything to me. Still behind me, I heard him stand up straight and proud. A spotlight was shone on me, and three colored lights — red, blue, and green — illuminated the other side of the room. They highlighted three figures, but I couldn't make out their faces. "Ladies and gentlemen, have I got a treat for you! They're fresh, healthy, and alert. One of the greatest minds at roulette I've seen in all my years. I'm sure their quick wit will make for an entertaining experience." He let out a hearty chuckle. "Let's begin the bidding, starting at 100!"

100,000 chips, I assumed. The people bidding were likely members, and this must have been the "flesh" I overheard a few people talk about. The Announcer began the bid by asking me a series of questions, as if this were some sort of backwards dating game. Green with the gravelly voice seemed to want me incredibly bad. They fought over bids until a whopping 800,000 chips were put down on the table for me. It was an elaborate redemption auction for an entire human person, and I had no choice but to go along with it. The Announcer was gracious enough to give me the option to choose who would take me, but in all honesty I didn't care. Green seemed like my safest option.

I managed to kill the man who bought me, but I don't know where I am right now. I'm in the mountains, and that's further away from home than I'd like. I keep hearing strange sounds from the brush in the woods, and I've been living out of this cabin for a few days now. Since you've found this, I'd imagine you've either found the cabin or my body. Ensure that my child gets this letter and knows the dangers of gambling. Never go to [REDACTED] Casino in [REDACTED] and never EVER think even for a second that gambling is the best way to get rich quickly. With some luck I will manage to survive this situation, but I feel a chill in the air. That man very well could have killed me, but nature does not hesitate.

[solarmorrigan]

The newest chapter is so good! I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you my thoughts, but I definitely didn’t have enough room in my brain to give this fic the attention it deserves! (My car is out of commission from my accident and I had just gotten it at the end of summer)

I love the idea that Steve was always going to forgive Eddie, he just wanted to be sure that Eddie knew what was going on now. I feel like Steve is so loyal to everyone but himself. If Eddie had done something that was clearly malicious, I don’t see Steve forgiving him, but since this was an odd situation that Steve can blame himself for most of it, then he had already convinced himself that Eddie was forgiven and it was all Steve’s fault. Totally understand where Robin was coming from when she told Eddie that Steve was going to forgive him, she was just making sure Eddie knew what he did wasn’t okay.

I love that Jeff didn’t tell Eddie that he’d talked to Steve, I totally think Eddie should be completely out of the loop on that one.

I can’t wait to see where you take this! I know you said there would be more conflict, so now my brain is trying to figure out what the catalyst for it is going to be. Will Steve be holding on to more of a grudge than he expected? Will Eddie be expecting Steve’s behavior to go back to what it was before the fight, and if it doesn’t, will he just assume that Steve is still mad at him, even if Steve isn’t? Will Robin accidentally push them to another fight? Will Eddie be too hard on himself? There are just so many options!

I’m so glad that you like my messages and I’m not bothering you! I missed sending messages to my favorite fic writers on here, and then I remembered that I can just start doing that again! 💖💖

Nah, man, no worries! Though your messages are much appreciated, you're never obligated to send them within a certain amount of time or at all! Life happens. I'm sorry about your car, I hope insurance is at least somewhat helpful??

I do think if Eddie had seemed genuinely uncaring of how Steve was feeling (or was outright mean about it), then Steve wouldn't have been willing to give him a second chance. But, as I mentioned in answering your last message, I do think Steve feels the need to hear people out when they apologize, because he remembers being in that position. He knows that Nancy didn't have to give him the time of day again after what he and his friends said about her, Jonathan didn't have to let the nasty things Steve said about his family go, Robin didn't have to look twice at him and see that he'd become more than that annoying guy in her class

Regardless of how true these things are (or what other circumstances may have been surrounding them), he feels them, and he isn't going to shut someone else out if it really seems like they're trying (and there is so much potential for hurt in there, and one day I'm gonna crack into it, but not in this fic!)

There are many options for how things could go wrong 👀 I considered a couple of different paths, but in the end I don't have the heart (or the patience) for much drawn-out angst, so I promise it's nothing too dramatic. A couple of people have actually guessed at part of what's wrong, and everyone will get to see that tomorrow! (Since I actually finished the fic, I can update a bit faster now!)

Never bothering me, I love having the opportunity to think about what I'm doing from different angles, or from the point of view of characters I hadn't considered (I also love having the opportunity to just talk about Steve headcanons). I'm glad you got to a place where you've been able to start sending messages like you enjoy doing!