#I'm probably not using filters the right way but whatever

[anne-bsd-bibliophile]

Crabapple blossoms, or hǎitáng in Chinese.

My copy of The Husky and His White Cat Shizun vol 5 came in the mail yesterday, so I sat under the haitang blossoms while I read it. I can see why Chu Wanning loves these flowers so much and why Mo Ran would have wanted to give his beloved Shizun a branch of them.

[catboybiologist]

So.

Re: tumblr bans of transfemmes.

Let's ignore PhotoMatt for a moment. Manbaby tech CEO doubling down on a stupid decision and making himself look like more of an ass doing so is not a new phenomena.

Tumblr has consistently said, in both public statements and leaked internal communication, that they're essentially running a skeleton crew.

They keep saying that they don't have the resources to moderate, manually review posts, have any kind of appeal process, or anything. So, as people have widely received communications about, they seemed to have automated a significant portion of the moderation to operate solely on the quantity of reports (probably with a basic filter, eg quantity of reports regarding a certain post, within a certain timeframe) to automatically ban or shadowban accounts.

And so, they wipe their hands, both to the users, the public, and their own consciousness, and go about their automated operations.

All of this is likely true. Tumblr, at this point, is essentially abandonware internally, a kind of weird vanity project/dumpster ground for server infrastructure for Automattic. Likely, they don't want the bad press of "shutting down" fully. Or maybe the trickle of revenue they get here just barely exceeds operating costs, so why not keep it around?

Whatever is the case, the bans are a result of an automated process working in the background. I'm giving them some benefit of the doubt here, of course, we can't know anything for certain- but it seems like the individual bans are not based on any specific, manual action.

And that doesn't fucking excuse anything.

Because at some point, multiple people sat down at tumblr, and decided how to cut costs.

And they decided that the bare minimum of report abuse prevention was one of the first things on the chopping block.

Before the boops. Before GUI reconfigures.

They decided to cut something that is necessary to manage online communities.

They decided to cut something that ensures any targeted group will have any kind of community online.

And then, after all of that, the only manual intervention is doubling down on the shitty decisions that the automated systems make, and plucking reasons out of their ass for why they were the right decisions all along.

It's pure silicon valley brain. Blame the computer often and always. Use it to shield the active decisions you made when designing the computer that way. Treat it as a fact of life as opposed to something they actively made decisions for.

Is tumblr staff hitting the banhammer on each transfemme one by one? No.

Is tumblr staff deliberately crafting a system that allows TERFs and other conservative bigots to get rid of the "undesirables" for them? Yup. But they sure as hell are trying to not say the quiet part out loud. If they can always point the finger somewhere else, to the advertisers, to the automated systems, to the TERFs, then they can always have juuusssttt enough plausible deniability.

But being the "queerest place on the internet" requires concious acknowledgement that queer people will be targets of harassment, and you will have to protect against that.

Side note, this is why I do try to keep my blog at least somewhat SFW. Its one of the main reasons why I choose not to reblog all of the posts I'm tagged in- if the post is overtly NSFW, I've probably seen it, appreciated it, and consciously decided my level of interaction with it mostly based on how "tumblr friendly" it is. Is that bowing down to them? A little. It's also my choice. I value the community I have here. The pushes that y'all have given me gave me the strength to transition, and honestly gives me a lot of motivation to research HRT biology as much as I can, among many other things.

Yeah, I post pictures that are clearly meant to be found attractive in ways that are generally not socially acceptable , but never actual NSFW. I would like to think that I'm pretty safe from bans, but hey. Who knows. I don't want to lose my follower base, and the community around it.

And yeah, I'm gonna annoyingly remind you of the other places to find me, make sure to check my pin. If you don't know where to go, just find me on reddit and go from there, I'll post about it if anything happens.

[dukeofankh]

Trying to find progressive masculine community is so exhausting.

I've flipped through local men's groups, trying to find places to explore masculinity in a chill, progressive setting. First of all, they mostly seem to be modelled after AA, and like, my gender isn't a debilitating addiction, it's part of my identity actually, but also, the invite and description of the event have maybe a short paragraph tops actually waving vaguely in the direction of what the purpose of the group is, and then ten to twenty paragraphs breaking down the rules. One spent longer talking about the hand signals he would use to direct conversation than he did describing what the conversation would be about. Another had a full paragraph explaining that if the group thought you were evading what they thought your "real" problem was, they'd probably "call you to take accountability". Like...I don't even know who these people are yet and they're already letting me know that they view it as their right, no, their duty, to bully me into seeing things their way. Like, this is in the invite.

...and this warning is there instead of any sort of breakdown of like, I dunno. Whether you should be a feminist to show up. Whether it was a safe space for queer men. What the hell they wanted to talk about. Joining a men's space is on some level inherently submitting yourself to the authority of the leaders of that group, and you don't usually get a particularly clear breakdown of what the values and goals of those leaders are, because on some level the answer is always going to be "whatever I want"

And like, unfortunately you do need to filter men to build a men's space. You do need to remove or chastise men who act in ways that are toxic or disruptive or misogynistic. If you don't things turn into an MRA chapter pretty quick. But the sort of emergency powers that leadership takes on as a result of that...just kind of naturally end up reproducing masculine heirarchies.

MensLib, the only online community of progressive dudes talking about masculinity that I'm aware of, is...on Reddit. So there is a moderator system. In theory, a moderator is there to...moderate. This is a space where people are going to be talking, and mods are there to make sure things don't get too toxic or off topic.

The issue is that, on some level, that is technically a leadership position. In a sub trying to rehabilitate masculinity. So you've got a bunch of folks who view themselves as the leaders of this bastion of goodness standing against the depredations of the misogynistic internet, guiding the hapless smooth-brain neophytes towards The True Way.

In practice, this looks like 95 percent of the posts submitted for the subreddit being rejected. That isn't hyperbole. On average, the sub has about one new post per day. Almost all posts directly relating a personal experience are deleted immediately, in favour of articles written about masculinity in traditional media publications, which are considered more trustworthy than the sus lived experiences of the guys in the sub. The post I wrote here about the effect of purity culture on male sexual shame that's sitting at about 15K notes was based on a 10K word post I wrote for Reddit that was deleted because "I didn't cite any sources to prove that there is a link between purity culture and male sexual shame, or that my experience was anything more than anecdotal". I get comments deleted on a regular basis, and after paragraphs of protesting in modmail that my comments are both fully in line with feminism and not against the rules, the mods have just finally told me that the rules don't actually drive their actions as a team. They delete anything they feel leads the conversation in a direction they personally feel is unproductive. The rule cited at the time of deletion is really just the broad category of why they decided to hit the button that says nobody is allowed to read what I wrote.

The issue is kind of twofold. First of all, progressive men do not trust other men. A good dude knows that he, individually, is a good person, but literally any other man external to him is on thin ice. Do you really want to tie your wagon to that guy? Do you trust him, really? How do you tell the difference between a guy criticizing an article because it's factually incorrect and criticising it because a woman wrote it? Probably best to play it safe and delete it. Weight of the odds, he's probably a misogynist, right? This is the internet.

And thats the other half of it. If you view yourself as part of the leadership of The Good Guys, and you're getting hatemail from incels and facists all day, you get to the point where most of the time people challenge your authority it's because they're a terrible person. It is very, very easy to get to the point where someone challenging you is seen as evidence that they are a bad person. And now someone is challenging you (and therefore bad), in an environment where you are in charge, and you have a "make your opponent disappear" button.

I know. A Reddit mod was rude to me and now I'm butthurt. It's petty and stupid. I'm just feeling like there's nowhere else to really go, and I'm pretty despondent that literally every space I've seen that even looks like it might be for progressive men has the same deeply hierarchical structure and constant status-oriented squabbling as patriarchal spaces.

[ha-rinrin]

Drunk Confessions

summary: Your best friend Jinx convinces you to accompany her to a frat party—what’s the worst that could happen?

word count: 8.8k

pairing: Jinx x fem!reader

warning: smut

note: I wrote this at 2am if its bad im deeply sorry my eyes were closing as I wrote it

masterlist

The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the window of Jinx’s dorm, casting a cozy glow over the beautifully chaotic space. Posters of her favorite bands were plastered everywhere, and her desk? A vibrant mess of colorful sketches and paint tubes spilling over. The air carried a faintly sweet scent, probably from whatever concoction she’d been whipping up in the kitchen. You and Jinx lounged on her bed, tangled in a heap of blankets and pillows, just enjoying the rare calm of a lazy afternoon. Her body so close to yours made you nervous, the palm of your hands becoming sweaty.

“You’re coming with me, right?” Jinx asked, her eyes practically sparkling as she scrolled through her phone, on a mission to find every detail about the frat party that night, who was going, where it was, she was going as far as to search if there was a specific dress code and “how to dress for a party” on wikihow. She leaned in closer, her blue hair brushing against your arm, sending a little jolt of energy through you.

You hesitated, biting your lip. “I don’t know, Jinx. Frat parties can get pretty…  you know, overwhelming. What if things get out of control, you know that I'm not an extrovert and what if I end up making things awkward?. what if I end up in a corner and everyone thinks “look at this weirdo standing by the wall”, or-?”

She looked at you as if she were one word away from calling a psych ward. “Okay, now stop right there. Where’s your university student spirit?” she asked, her tone playful but firm. She always had this unique way of calming you down, even if it was a little unconventional. “Come on!” she urged, throwing her hands up dramatically, as if you were being ridiculous. “I’m not asking you to jump into a pit of fire! It’s just a party—music, dancing, and a whole lot of fun! Plus, it wouldn’t be the same without my best friend there.”

Even when you were freaking out, you couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. “You know  I’m not exactly the ‘party’ type. I’m way more into our movie marathons and snack fests. Those are fun too,” you said with a sweet smile.

But this will be different! Just picture it—it’ll be just like in the movies! Music pumping, everyone dancing like nobody’s watching, and us stirring up some delightful chaos as always!” Jinx grinned, leaning in, her eyes wide with mischief. “Come on, it’ll be a blast! We’re a team, remember? We can handle anything together!”

“Delightful chaos? Is that your new way of saying ‘let’s get kicked out’?” you teased, raising an eyebrow, your lips curving into a smirk.

“Maybe just a little,” she admitted, biting her lip to stifle a laugh. “But think about it! This is our chance to break out of our comfort zones. Besides, I can’t do this without my ride-or-die! We’ll stick together, and I’ll keep you safe. Mostly.”

You rolled your eyes, your heart warming at her enthusiasm. “I don’t know, Jinx. What if it gets too wild? I’m not exactly a social butterfly here, you are the one who takes that role.”

“That’s exactly why I need you!” she exclaimed, her excitement bubbling over. “You balance me out! And who knows? You might actually have fun! Plus, what if I end up in a food fight again? I’ll need you there to help me dodge flying pizza!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that ridiculous image. “That was one time!”

“Exactly! And it was the best night ever!” Jinx said, her enthusiasm infectious. “You’ll totally regret it if you don’t come. Just think of all the crazy stories we could tell! Pretty please? I really want my best friend by my side!”

You looked at her, taking in how sincere she was, hope shining in her eyes. “Fine, but only if you promise not to get us kicked out and staying by my side.”

“Deal!” she exclaimed, her grin stretching wide as she pulled you into a quick hug that felt warm and comforting. “You’re not going to regret this! Now, let’s get ready!”

As she jumped off the bed and started rifling through her closet, you couldn’t help but smile at her infectious excitement. Maybe stepping out of your comfort zone wouldn’t be so bad, especially with Jinx by your side.

As you both stepped out of her dorm, the energy crackled between you. Jinx practically skipped, her excitement infectious as she led you down the bustling streets toward the frat house. The music thumped louder with each step, pulling you closer to the chaotic glow of string lights, neon paint, and a wild swarm of partygoers.

“Jinx! Over here!” called a girl with a bright green streak in her hair, a friend of Jinx’s you recognized from campus but had never spoken to before. She was surrounded by others from Jinx's circle, each one more eccentric than the last. They erupted into cheers upon seeing her, welcoming her with quick hugs and high-fives.

“Hey, you all made it!” Jinx cheered, bouncing over to them. With a proud grin, she introduced you, squeezing your hand reassuringly as you gave a nervous wave. Her friends greeted you warmly, instantly pulling you into their circle and helping you feel more at ease in the lively, unfamiliar environment.

You stood there, adjusting to the crowded atmosphere, but Jinx’s friends made it easier. They were loud and full of life, radiating the same chaotic energy that Jinx thrived on. Each one had a unique style: mismatched patterns, brightly colored hair, and bold makeup you wouldn’t expect to see in a classroom. It felt like Jinx had magnetized a group of people as wild and vibrant as she was.

“Finally dragged you out, huh?” said a tall girl with neon blue lipstick, winking as she handed you a plastic cup. “It takes a lot to get someone out of their cocoon, but Jinx is persistent.” She nudged Jinx playfully, who rolled her eyes with a grin.

“Trust me, this is a rare occurrence,” Jinx said, throwing an arm over your shoulders. “But I had to bring my best friend into the madness at least once, right?”

Her words warmed you, even though you could feel her friends’ curious gazes on you. You took a sip from the cup, feeling the buzz of Jinx’s excitement wrap around you like a blanket.

As the night went on, Jinx’s group chatted animatedly, and every so often, you caught her glancing over to check on you, her hand brushing against your arm as she leaned in to hear your responses. Each time her skin touched yours, an unmistakable spark ignited, even if it was just a fleeting connection.

As the night deepened, Jinx remained the life of the party, her laughter ringing out above the pulsing music. Each time she returned to your side, she held a new drink—colorful concoctions that seemed to amplify her energy even more.

“You have to try this one! It’s delicious!” she exclaimed while holding up a vibrant pink cocktail, her grin widening as she leaned in closer.

You took a cautious sip; the sweetness almost masked the alcohol. “Okay, this one’s not bad,” you admitted, your smile growing as you handed it back. You watched her down a good portion of it, her eyes sparkling with delight.

With each drink, Jinx became even more animated. She danced around you, tugging you along as she pulled her friends into playful conversations. The rosy hue in her cheeks deepened, and a slight slur in her words made her even more charming.

“Are you having fun?” she shouted, swaying to the beat. Her laughter bubbled up, contagious in its joy. “I mean, like, really having fun?”

“I’m getting there!” you replied, feeling the warmth of her spirit wrap around you.

As the night wore on, you noticed her friends keeping a closer eye on her, subtly guiding her back when she drifted too far into the crowd. Jinx, however, seemed blissfully unaware, caught up in her whirlwind of excitement. She had just finished another drink—a bright green one.

“Check this out!” she exclaimed, her eyes wide with mischief as she took a big gulp. “This is the best!”

After downing the drink, she stumbled slightly, catching herself against your shoulder with a laugh. “Oops! I think I’m getting a little tipsy,” she admitted, her voice a mix of excitement and amusement.

“Just a little?” you teased, chuckling as you steadied her.

“This is what parties are all about, right? Just let go and have fun!” she answered.

You watched her with a mix of affection and concern as she took another drink from a passing friend, her laughter growing more exuberant with each sip. Despite her slight wobble, there was a light in her eyes that seemed to shine brighter, her joy infectious.

“Promise me you’ll stay close?” she asked, her expression earnest as she looked at you with those bright, swirling purple eyes.

“Always,” you replied, squeezing her hand reassuringly, warmth blooming in your chest at the sincerity in her gaze.

After another round, she returned to your side, clutching a neon blue drink.

“Maybe we should slow it down a bit, huh?” you suggested, attempting to steer her away from the colorful drinks.

“Slow down? Never!” she exclaimed, then leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “But seriously, you’re the best. I love having you here.”

You felt your heart flutter, caught off guard by the sincerity in her gaze. “I love being here with you, too,” you replied, your voice softening as you looked into her eyes.

She smiled, the warmth of the moment hanging in the air, but instead of saying more, you both swayed gently to the music, her shoulder brushing against yours, sending little sparks up your arm.

As the party continued, Jinx’s energy ebbed and flowed. She’d lose herself in dance, twirling around before suddenly collapsing against you, breathless and giggling. “I’m definitely tipsy now,” she confessed, finally self-aware, her cheeks flushed and her smile wide. “But you’re still here.”

“Of course I am,” you assured her, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her. It felt natural, as if you were meant to be this close.

“Good,” she murmured, resting her head against your shoulder. The moment felt intimate, surrounded by chaos yet cocooned in your own little world.

You wanted to say something more, to bridge the gap between friendship and something deeper. But the thought of her waking up tomorrow, her mind clearer and possibly regretting this moment, held you back. Instead, you focused on the way her laughter resonated in your chest.

As she tilted her head up, her eyes gleaming under the colored lights, you noticed the slight wobble in her posture. “Hey,” she said, mischief dancing in her voice. “You’re really special, you know that? Like… you get me.”

You smiled softly, your heart racing. “Thanks, Jinx. You’re pretty special too.”

Without warning, she leaned in, her breath warm against your skin. In that fleeting moment, you felt her lips brush against yours—soft and tentative. But just as quickly, you pulled away, a wave of uncertainty washing over you. Confusion crossed her features, and you could see the glimmer of disappointment in her eyes.

“Why didn't you kiss me back?”

You could see the heaviness in her gaze, a hint of sadness creeping in.

“Jinx…” You didn't even know what to say to her, so you went for the classic and safe option. “Let’s get you some water, alright?” you said gently, trying to guide her toward the kitchen.

“I like you, okay?” she finally blurted out, her voice earnest, cutting through the noise of the party.

Your heart raced, the weight of her words hanging in the air between you. “Jinx, I—”

“Wait!” she interrupted, her eyes wide with determination. “I know it sounds crazy, but you make me feel… I don’t know, like I can just be myself.”

You took a breath, trying to process everything. “You’re really drunk right now. This isn’t the best time to have this conversation,” you said, your voice soft yet firm.

“Maybe,” she admitted, her expression shifting as she leaned closer, her breath warm against your face. “But it’s true. You get me in a way no one else does.”

The sincerity in her gaze made your chest tighten. “Jinx, I care about you. But you have to know that it’s the drinks talking right now. You might not even remember this tomorrow.”

“Who cares about tomorrow?” she shot back, frustration creeping into her tone. “Right now, I want you to know how I feel.”

You could feel the tension building, the unspoken feelings that had always lingered just beneath the surface. “It’s complicated, Jinx. I don’t want to ruin what we have,” you said, glancing around to make sure no one else was listening.

“Then don’t!” she pleaded, her voice dropping to a whisper as she stepped closer, her presence intoxicating. “Just let me have this moment. Please.”

“Jinx—,” you said, your heart pounding. “We need to get you home. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Home? What’s so great about that?” she asked, her expression faltering. “I just want to be here with you, right now.”

“Being here with you is amazing, but I care about you too much to let this go too far when you’re like this,” you said gently, trying to balance her feelings with your concern.

“Why can't you just let go for one night? We’ll deal with the aftermath in the morning,” she tried to convince you, her frustration boiling beneath the surface.

As her words settled in, you knew you had to keep her safe. “Come on, Jinx. Let’s get you home. You need water, not more drinks,” you said, guiding her gently toward the door.

With each step, you felt the weight of her lingering gaze on your back, the unspoken words hanging in the air. You knew she wouldn’t remember everything in the morning, and that was both a relief and a burden.

As you pulled her out of the chaotic house and into the cool night air, you felt her lean into you, exhaustion finally taking over. “You’re the best, you know that?” she mumbled, her voice slurred yet sincere. “I really appreciate you being here. Even if… you don’t really like me back.”

Her words stung, and you turned to face her, feeling the ache of unfulfilled possibilities. “It’s not that I don’t like you, Jinx. It’s just… complicated.”

She looked up at you, her eyes hazy yet searching. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? When I’m sober?”

You shook your head softly, trying to keep the moment light despite the heaviness in your chest. “Let’s just focus on getting you home for tonight, okay?”

She nodded, her disappointment palpable. As you walked together, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between you, a bond strengthened yet fraught with unspoken truths.

As you stepped into Jinx’s dorm, you immediately took action. 

“Alright, let’s get you settled,” you said, gently guiding her toward the couch. Jinx plopped down, her head drooping slightly as she leaned back against the cushions. You quickly grabbed a water bottle from her desk, unscrewing the cap and holding it up to her lips.

“Drink up,” you instructed, watching as she took small sips, her eyes fluttering as she fought to stay awake.

“Thank you, you’re the best,” she mumbled, a lazy smile spreading across her face.

Once she had finished the water, you decided to help her get ready for bed. “I’ll be right back,” you said, heading toward her closet. You rummaged through her clothes until you found a pair of soft pajamas—a comfy, oversized shirt and matching shorts.

When you returned, though, you found Jinx curled up on the couch, her breathing even and soft, the energy from earlier dissipating into peaceful slumber. Your heart swelled with affection as you watched her for a moment, her colorful hair sprawled out around her like a halo.

“Guess I’m not needed after all,” you murmured to yourself, a smile tugging at your lips. But the thought of leaving her on the couch didn’t sit well with you. She needed a proper place to sleep.

With a careful determination, you knelt beside her. “Hey, Jinx,” you said gently, brushing a few stray hairs from her face. “Time to move to your bed.”

There was no response. She just shifted slightly, a soft sigh escaping her lips. You took a deep breath, wrapping your arms around her and lifting her up with surprising ease. Her weight was familiar and comforting, and you could feel the warmth radiating from her as you cradled her against your chest.

“Here we go,” you whispered, navigating the small room with care. You stepped over her scattered shoes and clothes, your heart racing as you carried her toward the bed.

As you laid her down, Jinx stirred slightly but didn’t fully wake, a sleepy smile gracing her lips as she nestled deeper into the blankets. You quickly slipped the pajamas onto her, careful not to jostle her too much.

“Goodnight, Jinx,” you whispered, brushing a soft kiss against her forehead. She sighed contentedly, and for a moment, you stood there, watching her peaceful form.

Feeling a rush of warmth, you decided to settle in on the edge of her bed, the soft sheets inviting. As you sat there, your mind wandered, replaying the night’s events—the laughter, the dancing, the momentary brush of her lips against yours.

You couldn’t shake the feeling of what she had said earlier, the sincerity of her words hanging in the air. It felt like a turning point, one that you hoped tomorrow would help clarify.

Eventually, fatigue began to pull at your eyelids. You leaned back against the headboard, listening to her gentle breathing as you drifted into a light sleep, the room filled with the comforting glow of string lights. before you even knew it, you were fast asleep. 

The soft light of morning crept through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. You stirred awake, the events of the night still fresh in your mind. Glancing over at Jinx, you smiled softly at the sight of her peacefully sleeping, her colorful hair spilling across the pillows.

Careful not to wake her, you quietly slipped out of bed, stretching a little as you got to your feet. You padded over to the small bedside table, a little nightstand with a drawer that seemed to hold everything from old textbooks to stray hair ties. You opened the drawer and rummaged around until you found a bottle of aspirin.

After grabbing the bottle, you filled a glass with water from her desk, setting it gently on the nightstand next to the aspirin. You paused for a moment, glancing back at Jinx, who was still nestled under the covers, a serene expression on her face.

“Just in case you need it,” you murmured, a smile tugging at your lips. You tiptoed out of the room, making your way to the small kitchen area in her dorm.

Once there, you decided to make breakfast. The scent of coffee filled the air as you started brewing a fresh pot. You rummaged through her cabinets, pulling out some eggs and bread for toast. Cooking felt oddly calming, and the rhythmic motions of cracking eggs and toasting bread helped clear your mind.

As you worked, thoughts of Jinx floated through your mind—her laughter, the way she lit up the room, and the unexpected confession from the night before. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of anticipation mixed with anxiety about how she would feel in the morning.

The scent of coffee filled the air as you worked, the rhythmic motions of cracking eggs and toasting bread helping clear your mind. Suddenly, the sound of soft footsteps approached, and you turned to see Jinx walking into the kitchen, her hair tousled and her eyes still heavy with sleep.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” you said, a smile spreading across your face.

She rubbed her eyes, stifling a yawn as she leaned against the doorframe. “What time is it?” she mumbled, still half-lost in her dreams.

“Late enough for breakfast,” you replied, flipping a slice of toast. “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Jinx blinked a few times, her expression slowly shifting from drowsy confusion to delight. “You’re the best! I can’t believe you made breakfast. What are you cooking?”

“Just some eggs and toast,” you said, pouring her a cup of coffee and handing it to her. “Nothing fancy, but I hope it’ll help with your hangover.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she groaned, taking a sip and making a face at the taste. “Is that black coffee? You’re lucky I’m too tired to argue.”

You chuckled, leaning against the counter as you watched her. “I can always add cream and sugar if you’d like.”

She waved a hand dismissively, already turning her attention to the toast popping up from the toaster. “Nah, I’ll take it strong. What’s life without a little bitterness, right?”

“Speaking of bitterness,” you began, your voice light as you tried to gauge her mood, “how are you feeling this morning?”

Jinx leaned against the counter, a playful smirk on her lips. “Like I’ve been run over by a truck. But I’d say it was worth it for last night. You kept me from doing anything too crazy, right?”

“Just trying to look out for you,” you said, your heart racing slightly at the memory of her words from the night before. “But you were definitely having fun.”

Her smile faltered just a bit, and you could see the wheels turning in her mind. “Yeah… about that.”

You raised an eyebrow, bracing yourself for what she might say next. “What about it?”

Jinx glanced down at her coffee, biting her lip. “I kind of remember some things. Like… maybe telling you you’re special?”

Your breath caught in your throat. “You said a few things, yeah.”

“Did I embarrass myself?” she asked, looking up at you with those bright, swirling eyes, a mixture of anxiety and curiosity flickering in them.

“Not really,” you assured her, trying to keep your tone light. “You just expressed some feelings.”

She blinked, the weight of your words hanging between you. “Feelings?” she echoed softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

“Yeah, feelings,” you said, your heart racing as you fought the urge to say more. “But maybe we should focus on breakfast first?”

“Right, breakfast.” Jinx nodded, but you could see that her mind was still on the night before. As you both stood there, the air thick with unspoken words, you hoped she’d be ready to talk about it again soon.

You turned back to the stove, flipping the eggs with practiced ease. “So, what do you think? Scrambled or sunny-side up?” you asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Scrambled, definitely. Can’t handle any more surprises this morning,” she replied, a hint of a smile creeping back onto her lips.

With the eggs cooking, you let the comfortable silence settle between you, stealing glances at Jinx as she took another sip of her coffee. Her gaze drifted toward the window, the sunlight illuminating the room in warm hues.

“Last night was… fun,” Jinx said finally, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft, but you could hear the hint of vulnerability underneath. “I just—I hope I didn’t say anything too crazy.”

You chuckled lightly, trying to ease her worries. “You were just being you, Jinx. It was kind of nice, actually. You don’t have to worry about what you said.”

She turned to you, her eyes searching your face for reassurance. “But you know I can get a little… reckless when I drink. I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

“It wasn’t awkward,” you reassured her, your heart racing again as the memory of her words flashed through your mind—the way she had looked at you, the closeness you had shared. “You just told me you think I’m special. It was sweet.”

“Sweet, huh?” Jinx replied, her lips quirking up in a teasing grin. “And what exactly does that mean? Are we talking ‘special friend’ sweet, or ‘I think you’re cute’ sweet?”

You hesitated, the weight of her gaze making it hard to form the words. “It could mean a bit of both,” you said cautiously. “But it depends on how you feel this morning.”

Her expression shifted, a mix of playfulness and genuine curiosity. “What if I told you I remembered a little more? Like… that kiss?”

You turned to face her fully, heart pounding. “You remember?”

“Yeah, I remember,” she said, her tone teasing yet edged with something deeper. “I also remember how you didn’t really return it. But, uh, I’m sorry; it kinda slipped.”

You could feel the heat creeping up your cheeks, and your pulse quickened at her admission. “It’s not that I didn’t want to,” you stumbled over your words, scrambling for an explanation. “I just—”

“Just what?” she prompted, a glint of mischief in her eyes. “Were you scared of my breath? It was probably awful.”

“No! It wasn’t that!” You couldn’t help but laugh, the tension easing slightly as you caught her playful grin. “I just didn’t want to make things weird.”

“Aw, so you were thinking of my feelings,” she teased, leaning closer, her expression shifting as she tried to gauge your seriousness. “But, like, what do you think about it now? I mean, is it still weird?”

You took a deep breath, trying to navigate the sudden shift in the conversation. “I think it was a moment,” you said slowly. “And it felt… nice. But I don’t want to rush into anything. Especially since you were—”

“Drunk?” she interrupted, a bit of uncertainty creeping into her playful demeanor. “Yeah, I get that. But maybe it was a bit more than just that, you know?”

Your heart raced as you met her gaze, feeling the weight of her words. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, maybe there’s something there that we haven’t really explored yet,” she said softly, her voice losing its playful edge. “Like, between us.”

You swallowed hard, the implications hanging thick in the air. “Are you saying you want to explore it?”

Jinx hesitated, the teasing glint in her eyes dimming slightly as she shifted her weight, looking almost vulnerable. “I don’t know. I’m scared, honestly. I don’t want to mess up what we have.”

“Neither do I,” you replied earnestly, wanting to bridge the gap between you. “But if we don’t talk about it, we’ll never know.”

“True,” she said, biting her lip as she considered your words. “And you know me—I’m not great with talking about feelings. They’re just… there. And sometimes they scare me.”

“I get it,” you said, trying to offer her a reassuring smile. “Feelings can be confusing, especially with everything that happened last night.”

“Yeah, and you’d think I’d be used to it by now,” she said, shaking her head slightly. “But I guess I’m just not as brave as I pretend to be.”

You felt a surge of empathy for her, knowing how hard it could be to voice what lay beneath the surface. “It’s okay to be scared, Jinx. We can figure this out together.”

She looked at you, her expression softening. “Together sounds nice,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “But, like, what does that even mean? Do we just hang out more, or…?”

“I think it means being honest with each other,” you suggested, feeling the weight of the conversation start to settle into something more hopeful. “Maybe we take things slow and see where it goes?”

“Slow, huh? You mean like taking it easy, not like a rollercoaster ride?” she replied, a teasing tone creeping back into her voice. “Because you know I’m all for the thrill, but this feels different.”

You chuckled lightly, appreciating her humor amidst the serious talk. “Exactly. No rollercoasters. Just… us. Hanging out, having fun. And if things happen, then they happen.”

“Okay, I can work with that,” Jinx said, her smile returning, though there was still a hint of apprehension in her eyes. “But what if I get too reckless again? You might end up in a weird position where you have to deal with my chaos.”

“Chaos is kind of your specialty,” you said, your heart fluttering at the thought of her quirks. “And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Her laughter filled the kitchen, lightening the air between you. “You’re seriously the best. I mean, how did I get so lucky to have you around?”

You couldn’t help but grin back at her, feeling warmth spread through your chest. “I could say the same about you. You keep things interesting.”

She stepped closer, her playful demeanor shifting again as she looked into your eyes, the laughter lingering in the air between you like a sweet melody. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do,” you replied, your heart racing at the intensity of her gaze. “You make everything more fun. More... alive.”

A flicker of vulnerability passed through her eyes, and you could sense the shift in the atmosphere. The teasing edges of the conversation softened, replaced by something deeper, something that had been simmering beneath the surface for a while now.

“Do you think,” she started, her voice barely above a whisper, “that we could… maybe try to be more than friends?”

The question hung in the air, and your heart raced in response. “I’d like that,” you said, the words spilling out before you could second-guess yourself. “I really would.”

Jinx stepped even closer, her breath warm against your skin. “Then maybe we should just go for it,” she suggested, her eyes sparkling with mischief yet grounded with sincerity.

“Go for it?” you echoed, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Yeah. Like… a kiss. Just to see how it feels, you know?” she said, her voice teasing but her expression earnest.

“Okay, but if we’re doing this, I want to make sure it’s not just a spur-of-the-moment thing.” You took a step closer, feeling the space between you disappear. “I want it to mean something.”

Jinx nodded, her eyes locked onto yours, the playful edge returning just a touch. “I’m all for meaningful moments. Just don’t blame me if it ends up being a little chaotic.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

With that, Jinx leaned in, her gaze flickering to your lips before meeting your eyes again, searching for confirmation. You felt your breath hitch as the moment stretched between you, filled with unspoken words and uncharted territory.

Then, as if the world faded away, you closed the distance. Her lips brushed against yours softly, tentative at first, sending a rush of warmth through you. It was gentle yet electric, a perfect blend of sweetness and a hint of the wildness that defined Jinx.

As you kissed, it felt like everything else disappeared—the kitchen, the smell of breakfast, the morning light filtering through the curtains. It was just the two of you, suspended in a moment that felt both familiar and entirely new.

Just as you began to pull away, Jinx grabbed the back of your neck, deepening the kiss, her lips moving against yours with a newfound urgency. The softness of her kiss quickly transformed into something more passionate, igniting a fire within you that sent shivers down your spine.

You instinctively wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her closer, feeling the heat radiating from her body. Jinx responded by pressing herself against you, her hands weaving into your hair as she tilted her head, deepening the kiss even further. The world outside faded into oblivion as you lost yourselves in the moment, the taste of her lips intoxicating, each brush igniting sparks of electricity between you.

The kiss grew more fervent, each movement becoming bolder, more desperate. You felt her heart racing against your chest, mirroring your own excitement. She pulled you in, and you could feel the playful chaos she thrived on, but it was paired with a tenderness that made your heart race.

“Wow,” Jinx breathed against your lips, her eyes sparkling as she pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, a teasing smile playing on her mouth. “I didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I,” you admitted, breathless. Your heart was pounding, and the warmth spreading through your body felt electrifying.

Jinx leaned in again, this time capturing your lips with a fierceness that made your head spin. She pressed you against the counter, her body fitting against yours perfectly, igniting every nerve ending in a way that made you forget everything but her. You could feel her smile against your mouth as she pulled you in deeper, her fingers dancing down your sides.

“Are you sure this is okay?” you asked between heated kisses, the pulse of adrenaline making your heart race even faster.

“More than okay,” she murmured, her voice low and sultry as she nipped at your lower lip, sending a jolt through you. “I’ve wanted this for a while.”

With that, the air thickened with desire, the playful banter fading as you both surrendered to the moment. Jinx's hands explored your back, pulling you even closer as you kissed her back with equal intensity. It was a dance of chaos and connection, both of you losing yourselves in the rhythm of your lips moving together.

As you kissed, you became aware of the world around you again—sounds of the eggs sizzling on the stove, the coffee still brewing, the gentle hum of life outside—but none of it mattered. It was just you and Jinx, tangled up in each other’s arms, feeling the rush of something new and thrilling.

“Wait,” you said suddenly, pulling back, breathless. “What if we burn the toast?”

Jinx laughed, a bright sound that lit up the kitchen even more than the morning sun. “Oh, right! Priorities!” She reluctantly stepped back, her cheeks flushed with excitement. “But I wouldn’t mind some toast and maybe a side of more kisses later?”

You grinned, heart still racing from both the kiss and her playful tone. “Deal. But for now, let’s save breakfast before it turns into a charred mess.”

With a shared laugh, you turned back to the stove, stealing glances at each other as the air buzzed with a new energy. You couldn’t help but feel like everything had changed in that kitchen, and you were both excited to see where this new path would lead.

The soft morning light spilled into Jinx's room, painting everything in warm hues as you snuggled under the cozy blankets. You were nestled against Jinx, who had sprawled out comfortably beside you after a chaotic yet delicious breakfast. Her hair was a wild mess, a testament to the way she rolled out of bed in her usual chaotic style, and you couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she looked.

With a dramatic sigh, she flopped back down, burying her head between your breasts, her voice muffled as she said, “I like this relationship benefit.”

You felt your heart race, a warm flush creeping up your cheeks. “Oh really?” you replied, your fingers gently running through her hair. “What else do you like?”

“Mmm, definitely the cuddles,” she sighed contentedly, her breath warm against your skin. “But mostly this.” She wiggled a little closer, clearly enjoying the closeness.

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around her, pulling her even tighter against you. “You’re just using me for cuddles, huh?”

“Guilty as charged,” she said, lifting her head to flash you a cheeky grin. “But can you blame me? You’re the best pillow ever.”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your face betrayed you. “A pillow? Really?”

“Yeah, the best kind—soft and warm,” she teased, leaning in to nuzzle you again. “And I can’t get enough of you right now.”

You felt a flutter in your chest at her words, heart swelling with affection. “I could get used to this,” you admitted, pulling her in closer, both of you sinking deeper into the sheets.

“Me too,” she said softly, her voice a little more serious now. “You’re like the perfect chaos to my perfectly chaotic life.”

“Perfectly chaotic, huh? I like the sound of that,” you replied, grinning at her.

Jinx giggled, but her laughter faded as she studied your face, her gaze lingering on your lips. You felt a spark of anticipation in the air, a delicious tension that made your heart race.

“Hey,” she murmured, her voice low, “can I…?”

You didn’t need to answer. In one smooth motion, Jinx closed the space between you, capturing your lips in a soft, tentative kiss. The world outside faded away as you melted into the moment, your fingers tangling in her hair, pulling her closer.

Her lips were warm and inviting, and you felt a rush of exhilaration as the kiss deepened, becoming more passionate. Jinx sighed against your mouth, the sound sending shivers down your spine. She tilted her head to deepen the kiss, and you could taste the remnants of breakfast lingering on her.

As you both finally pulled away, breathless and a little dazed, Jinx rested her forehead against yours, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “So, does this count as a benefit?”

You chuckled, still feeling the warmth of her lips on yours. “I think it counts as a pretty great benefit,” you replied, your heart swelling with joy.

“Good,” she said with a sly smile, “because I plan on taking full advantage of it.”

You laughed again, the warmth of the moment wrapping around you like a cozy blanket. You lay there, lost in each other’s embrace, knowing that this—Jinx, the cuddles, the kisses—was exactly where you belonged.

You couldn't help but feel a mischievous grin spread across your face. “I might need to show you just how much I like these benefits, too,” you teased, leaning in closer.

Jinx’s eyes sparkled with excitement, her playful energy radiating off her. “Oh? I’d love to see what you have in mind,” she said, her voice dropping to that breathy tone that sent heat rushing through you.

Before you could overthink it, you leaned in, capturing her lips again. This kiss was deeper, more urgent, as if you were both trying to convey everything you felt in that moment. You pulled her closer, fingers tracing down her side as you savored the sweet taste of her.

Jinx responded eagerly, her hands threading into your hair, pulling you in as if she wanted to become one with you. You could feel the rush of passion growing between you, each kiss igniting a spark that left you both breathless.

As the kiss deepened, you found yourself shifting lower, your lips trailing from her mouth down to her neck, planting soft kisses along her skin. Jinx shivered beneath your touch, her breaths coming in quick gasps

as you continued your descent, each kiss eliciting a sweet sound from her lips. You reveled in the way she reacted, her body responding eagerly to your every move.

“Wow,” she breathed, her voice filled with a mixture of surprise and delight. “You’re really good at this, aren’t you?”

You smirked against her skin, relishing the way she melted under your touch. “Just trying to show you how much I appreciate our little relationship benefits,” you replied playfully, your lips brushing against her collarbone.

“More, please,” Jinx urged, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she pulled you back for another kiss, this one even more heated than before. Her hands roamed down your back, fingers dancing over your skin, igniting a fire within you that you could hardly contain.

With renewed determination, you resumed your exploration, trailing kisses down her torso, pausing to admire her beauty. Each kiss left a lingering warmth, and you could feel her pulse quicken beneath your lips.

“Hey, don’t forget about me up here,” Jinx teased breathlessly, her playful tone mingling with the seriousness of the moment. You looked up at her, grinning at the way her cheeks flushed a deeper shade.

“Oh, I could never forget about you,” you replied, your voice low and teasing as you moved back up to capture her lips again.

She pulled you closer, your bodies fitting together perfectly, as if you were made for this. The kiss deepened once more, the world around you fading away as you lost yourselves in each other.

After a few blissful moments, you pulled away slightly, resting your forehead against hers. “I could get used to this,” you murmured, your breath mingling with hers.

Jinx’s gaze softened, and she smiled, a genuine warmth filling her eyes. “Me too. It feels… right, you know?”

You nodded, the weight of her words settling over you like a cozy blanket. “Yeah, it really does.”

With a playful smirk, you let your fingers trail down to her thighs, feeling the softness of her skin. “But I think I still have some benefits to explore,” you said, looking up at her with a teasing glint in your eye.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Jinx challenged, her voice laced with playful urgency. “Get to it!”

With a laugh, you lowered your head once more, ready to discover just how far this delightful chaos could take you both. The room was filled with soft laughter, warmth, and the promise of so many more sweet moments together.

You pressed your lips to her inner thigh, feeling the warmth radiate from her skin. Jinx gasped softly, her body responding eagerly to your touch, and you smiled against her, savoring the thrill of the moment.

“Is this what you meant by ‘benefits’?” you teased, your voice low and playful as you continued your trail of kisses.

“Definitely,” she breathed, her fingers tangling in your hair as she held you close. “But I might need a little more encouragement.”

With a playful glint in your eye, you shifted lower, planting kisses along the inside of her thigh, slowly building the anticipation. Jinx squirmed beneath you, her breath hitching as you took your time, enjoying every second of your exploration.

“You’re such a tease,” she murmured, half-laughing, half-pleading.

“Only because you love it,” you shot back, glancing up at her with a mischievous grin.

“Guilty,” she admitted, her voice a mix of sincerity and playful defiance.

Encouraged by her words, you continued your journey, your kisses trailing ever closer, teasingly brushing against the edge of her shorts. Jinx’s breaths quickened, the tension in the air crackling with electricity.

“Please,” she whispered, her eyes pleading, and that single word ignited a fire within you. You knew exactly what she wanted, and you were more than willing to give it to her.

You shifted your attention, pressing a soft kiss on the waistband of her shorts before slowly pulling back to look into her eyes. “Are you sure?” you asked, wanting to make sure she was comfortable.

“More than sure,” she replied, her voice firm yet filled with an undeniable sweetness.

With a smile of affirmation you discarded her shorts along with her underwear, you pressed your lips against her clit, and Jinx gasped, her body arching towards you as you continued your teasing exploration, sucking, twirling her bundle of nerves with your tongue. Each kiss sent shivers through her, and you felt empowered by the effect you had on her.

“God, you’re incredible,” she breathed, her fingers tightening in your hair as you took your time, cherishing every moment, every reaction.

You decided to add your fingers into the mix, thrusting them inside of her, and a long, soft moan escaped her lips. Jinx’s body responded eagerly, arching toward you as if craving more. You could feel the warmth radiating from her, the way she melted beneath your touch igniting a rush of exhilaration within you.

“Just like that,” she gasped, her fingers still tangled in your hair, pulling you closer as if she wanted you to be a part of her completely. The urgency in her voice made your heart race, and you reveled in the control you had over her pleasure.

“Is this what you wanted?” you teased, your breath warm against her skin as you began to move your fingers in a steady rhythm, curling them just right. Each thrust brought forth another wave of pleasure, another gasp that made you want to smile.

“Yes! Just like that!” Jinx breathed, her voice trembling with need. You could see the way her body reacted, how she squirmed and writhed beneath you, and it only encouraged you to go further.

You leaned down, placing gentle kisses along her thigh, reminding her of the connection you shared as you continued to tease and explore her. Every movement was deliberate, designed to drive her wild, to make her forget everything else but the sensation of being with you in that moment.

“God, I can’t get enough of you,” you murmured against her skin, feeling the heat of her body against your lips. Jinx’s eyes sparkled with mischief and desire, and you could tell she was close.

“Don’t stop, please!” she urged, her voice a mix of desperation and delight. You quickened your pace, your fingers moving with newfound urgency as you watched her face, captivated by the way her pleasure built higher and higher.

“Let go for me,” you encouraged softly, feeling the tension in her body as it coiled tighter. The room was filled with the sounds of her gasps and the rhythm of your movements, creating a beautiful melody that echoed the intensity of the moment.

As Jinx finally surrendered to the wave of pleasure, you felt a rush of triumph wash over you. In that blissful moment, everything else faded away, and all that remained was the two of you, lost in your own little world.

Jinx's body tensed and then relaxed in a series of delightful shudders. You watched in awe as her expression transformed, a mix of bliss and vulnerability that made your heart swell. You slowed your movements, wanting her to savor every lingering moment, every aftershock of ecstasy.

“Wow,” she breathed, her eyes fluttering open, filled with a soft glow. “You really know how to treat a girl right.”

You chuckled, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead. “I just aim to please,” you replied playfully, your heart racing at the intimate connection you had just shared.

Jinx’s smile was radiant, and she pulled you closer, capturing your lips in a tender kiss that sent warmth through your entire body. “You definitely succeeded,” she whispered against your mouth, her fingers tracing the outline of your jaw.

As you kissed her, the world around you faded again, the intimacy of the moment enveloping you both like a warm embrace. The taste of her lingered on your lips, sweet and intoxicating, fueling the spark of desire that still flickered between you.

“Can I return the favor?” she asked, her voice playful but with an underlying sincerity that sent a thrill through you.

You felt your cheeks heat at the suggestion, but you nodded eagerly. “Only if you want to,” you replied, your heart racing at the thought of her taking charge.

“Trust me, I do,” Jinx said, her grin wide and mischievous. She shifted to position herself above you, a look of determination in her eyes that made your breath hitch.

As she settled between your legs, you couldn’t help but admire her confidence. Jinx leaned down, planting soft kisses along your body, savoring every inch of your skin. Each touch felt electric, igniting your senses and leaving you craving more.

“Just relax,” she murmured, her breath warm against your skin. You nodded, allowing her to take the lead, your heart racing in anticipation of what was to come.

The sensation of her lips trailing lower sent shivers through you, and you felt yourself sinking deeper into the sheets, completely at her mercy. Every kiss was filled with love and passion, a reminder of the connection you had forged in that cozy bed.

Jinx paused, looking up at you with a playful sparkle in her eyes. “You ready?” she asked, her voice low and sultry.

You nodded, breathless with excitement. “Always,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

With that, she continued her descent, and you felt the world around you fade away again as she focused her attention on you, filling the room with shared laughter, love, and warmth that made everything feel just right.

With a sly smile, Jinx shifted her focus, her lips dancing across your skin, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. Each kiss sent ripples of anticipation through you, drawing soft gasps from your lips. You couldn’t help but arch your back slightly, urging her on, lost in the intoxicating sensations.

Jinx’s laughter echoed softly in the room as she reveled in the effect she had on you. “You’re so cute when you get all flustered,” she teased, looking up at you with those bright, playful eyes that held a hint of mischief.

“Only because you make it impossible to stay calm,” you replied, your voice breathless, heart racing as you felt her warmth envelop you.

She smirked, leaning in closer, her breath ghosting over your sensitive skin. “Good,” she whispered, before pressing a soft kiss against your stomach as she slowly took down your own underwear, sending another wave of shivers coursing through you. You could feel the heat pooling in your core, anticipation building with every gentle caress.

As she continued her descent, her lips brushed against your thighs, teasingly lingering just enough to drive you wild. You could feel the tension in the air, thick with desire, every breath feeling heavier as you awaited her next move. “Jinx, please…” you murmured, half a plea and half a command.

“Patience,” she shot back playfully, her eyes sparkling with delight as she pulled back slightly to tease you. “I promise, it’ll be worth the wait.”

With a determined look, she finally kissed you where you needed it the most, her mouth immediately sucking your clit, just as you did with her, each gentle touch eliciting gasps that echoed in the quiet room. She took her time, savoring every reaction you gave her, her confidence radiating as she explored what made you tick.

“God, you’re amazing,” you breathed, lost in the sensations she was creating. You could feel the warmth pooling deep inside you, the tension building to an almost unbearable level. “Don’t stop.”

“Never,” she replied with a soft chuckle, the sound sending shivers down your spine. As she licked and flicked her tongue on your pussy, making you feel an overwhelming rush of pleasure, your body responded instinctively as you melted into her.

Every movement was filled with a playful urgency, and you tangled your fingers in her hair, guiding her as she navigated the sensitive areas with expert precision. The world around you faded, leaving only the two of you and the blissful connection that deepened with every moment.

“Jinx,” you gasped, feeling the tension building to a breaking point. “I’m so close…”

“Let go, toots,” she murmured, her voice low and encouraging. “I’ve got you.”

With her words echoing in your mind, you surrendered to the waves of pleasure that crashed over you. Your body responded eagerly, a rush of bliss that left you breathless as you found release, each wave washing away any lingering doubts or worries.

Jinx held you close, her movements slowing as she savored every moment, every reaction. As you came down from the high, she pressed gentle kisses along your thighs, your skin still tingling from the intensity of it all.

Your heart racing as you pulled her up to you, wanting to feel her warmth enveloping you once again. “You really are incredible.”

Jinx’s smile was radiant, her eyes sparkling with delight. “I aim to please,” she quoted you, her voice teasing yet filled with affection. “So, what do you think about these relationship benefits now?”

You laughed, pulling her in for a kiss, savoring the taste of her lips and the lingering sweetness of your shared moments. “I think they might just be my favorite thing about us.”

She grinned against your mouth, her playful energy infectious. “Good, because I’m not done exploring all the benefits yet.”

And as you both settled back under the covers, the world outside faded away, leaving just the two of you in your own little bubble of warmth, laughter, and love. Just like it was always meant to be.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

OK I'm probably alone in this and I'm sure everyone will think I'm more of a bitch than they already think I am for this but. Am I alone in finding Chris's horniness lately a little excessive? The only reason he's not coming across as a weirdo on a dating app is the fact that he's attractive and well liked. But if a random guy from work or school or whatever kept posting the stuff he posts and showing his body and talking about sex all the damn time, we wouldn't find it sexy or cute. Like I was watching some videos from his performance and I just didn't find it sexy or arousing, just honestly a little sad. It comes off as desperate to me, because it happens so often.

Babe, not going to lie in that you may be one of the few Stays who have this opinion but I'm going to include it anyway and tag some of my other babygirls in it.

What videos were you watching because I need context for this thought because I honestly hadn't thought about this topic until I saw your ask.

I can't tell if it is excessive or if we are seeing Chris for who he is w/o the filtered down version, maybe he is just naturally this fuckboyish and he's finally revealing it.

Because his frontal lobe has developed so all his decisions are strategic so it's not even a maturity issue but I've been a Stay since 2020/21 so I'm used to these antics with him and his constant flirtatious nature.

I also agree with @torialefay in that I think he's fucking bitchless right now and he might be using the stage as a way to subconsciously live out his fantasies and get all those endorphins that you would normally get from a relationship.

And that's not even a jealousy thing because I don't get jealous over idols and their love lives.

I feel chris is honestly just a rlly lonely guy who's looking for those intense romantic and emotional connections and he can't get it so he's created a borderline unhealthy/leaning on toxic parasocial connection with Stays.

And this manifests in this 'simulated' relationship where we both feel desired, prioritised, supported and 'seen'.

So excessive? I don't think so- he's been like this for a long time.

Desperate and horny? Yeah probably, but I can't judge because I am also desperate and horny for this man all the time.

Tagging my other babygirl moots @gnabnahcsworld @lyramundana @berryberrytan @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell @chansfavoritetoy

[kalims]

˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "who i like? do you seriously think I'm gonna tell you that? anyways its—"

大好き

premise. someone asks who you like.. and you respond with their name—said person right beside you!

characters. all dorms and their prominent students

includes. gn reader

note. after a long wait! and the almost month this has been on my 'to be added' category it's hereeee.. fun fact.. I actually finished another work because I liked the idea of it more even though this was my prioritized.

was 20 mins late because I was fixing my posts aksbja

heartslabyul

looks at you like you're insane. I'm confident everyone can envision riddle's face like that. it's in between the verge of being flustered and being appalled by your lack of filter. heat practically steams out of riddle's ears as his movements stutters, clearly struggling to comprehend what you said. maybe you should get ready for an earful but you're pleasantly suprised when riddle sets aside his.. passionate emotions to shyly ask a confirmation. (with admitted aggression as if he's in denial)

trey's eyebrows shoot up but the action looks way more casual than it should be. I mean, surprisingly he's pretty calm on taking it into account but he ends up just being a smiling fool beside you as you continue your conversation with your friend. he's like... ‎◜◡◝ beside you as your friend looks between the two of you in a hurry before breaking into a laugh. should be be worried that you're this bold..? well, it did work in his favor so he can't say a thing.

happy go luck cater looks even more happy than you've ever seen him in your life. hanging lowly by his sides, his hands twitch and he itches to pull out his phone to basically renounce to the world that his feelings are very much reciprocated and probably lowkey shitting on the people with one sided loves because, ha! he wins!! you bet he's gonna settle for screaming in his private account and then proceeding to scream in his pillow.

before he could foster up a grin and break out of the 'calm and responsible' honor student, deuce had to keep his lower lips under his teeth lest he looks like a weirdo smiling uncontrollably tinged in flush. the whole time he was just staring at you goofily.. like he's on cloud nine, which I concur. because he is. the one who gets gaslighted (not by you) into thinking that you both now are in a relationship like.. deuce be for real you didn't even ask me on a fate. (actually both of you might think you're in a relationship because of the way you're acting like yall are)

contrary to beliefs I think ace would be on the more casual side. you know? throwing an arm around your shoulder and shattering whatever personal space criteria there was. clearly there's no need when you 'like' him so much. he's using your words as an excuse to do whatever he wants, like leaning strangely close, letting a hand linger longer than it should. whatever restraint he had before is gone now because now he's moving onto a new level of personal. you'd either hate or secretly like the change. hate because ace wtf we're in class and like because,, who wouldn't want your crush to be overly affectionate with you?

savanaclaw

you'd think leona wasn't listening at all just from the indifferent look on his face but you know better just from the way his eyes perk up, tail sticking up in dormant but still a signal of alert and attention. for once he doesn't quip a tease, or a smart-ass remark that would want you to shovel your way to the ground on embarrassment. he just.. sits there, staring seemingly into the void of thin air itself. maybe it's because he's feeling particularly sentimental or sensitive today that his heart feels like it's encased in warmth. it feels good.

a laugh too shaky for his preferences, ruggie hopes he didn't look too nervous for his sake. I mean, this is literally his suprise of the century and when I tell you that it's a big shock to him, it's an understatement. come on, if he did think you had feelings for him ruggie imagined the confession going normally. either buttering him up or going straight to the point—the latter, which he prefers but when he said to be direct he certainly didn't expect this! the hyena runs away with jitters and a skip to his steps but he comes back a few minutes later looking more relaxed than you've ever seen him.

once again. contrary to expectations which the savanclaw boys had practically shattered those, many would think jack would go all shy. from the previous savanaclaw boys you'd think I'd go against expectations again but you're.. wrong hehe. i don't know how to explain other than he wills himself to show a reaction other than fluster, maybe it's just in his pride to now show you an ounce of weakness but literally how could be when you're the weakness? he doesn't know if you making him soft is good or not.

octavinelle

if it was real and possible to actually happen without a third party force, azul's glasses would've definitely shattered the moment you said the direct confession. he's torn between wanting to excuse himself to scream like a school girl or intent to not let the fluster show. well, either way he does both. keeping his emotions hardly in check, sometimes slipping up multiple times but when the time comes where you both part ways you know he's silently smiling to himself when he turns round a corner. the twins are suspicious and curious as to why azul had been in a good mood nowadays..

either jade maintains his cool, natural closed eyed smile or he crinkles his eyes when he breaks into a large sharp toothed grin. of course both has the lingering ominous feeling around it because it's jade.. and even you have to agree that him openly cracking a grin isn't exactly a good sign of peace, rather so a harbinger of trouble. if you were bold enough to say that in his presence I wonder how that previous confidence will fare when he's practically picking at your earlier words to gouge a reaction. no jade, I only said like. not love (yet).

no one other than floyd would be more than ecstatic. he didn't hear it at first, blinking then tilting his head to the side when he pauses to register it. so when he finally processes it you bet he's giggling in his head but in real time? he's practically sweeping you off your feet to hug you in the air. figures with the strange merman strength.. you find out that floyd is quite clingy when he's immensely happy, he even refused to let you go through classes and when you insisted he just sat down next to your seat and promptly kicked out whoever sat there before! floyd atleast hide! I mean the professor would surely notice the eel that's not in supposed to be in their class.

scarabia

if there was an option where he could purchase everything in the world then giving it to you without expecting anything back kalim would surely choose it. you got him so happy to the fact that he's willing to do practically anything that you ask. he doesn't mean to be over the top but.. he just wants to make you happy, which is more than you deserve. no matter how many times you tell him that you don't need any gifts but rather him only, it seemed like it only did worse since he practically fell a hundred times harder which brings us to the conclusion that he wants to give you the world a whole lot more now..

a complete opposite of kalim. jamil merely blinks and casts you a side eye. for the record, he is a little impressed you're that bold because if it was him he would've just brushed this person away or claimed that he liked no one but here you are. completely obliterating the concept of secrets. perhaps that's why he likes you in the first place, your personality is certainly a force to reckon with.. but sometimes you just have to tone down the chaos.. *please* 😐

pomefiore

vil is no stranger to bold proclamations but he can't deny he's a little startled. well, he didn't pick you out to be that type of person. either way usually he'd plaster a quick smile, the words not hitting anything other than the skin of his heart. strangely enough he can't keep the smile wider than he'd like off his face, he's immensely pleased by your words and pomefiore has never been so happy by the obvious good mood their dorm leader had. cause he left them alone for the whole day to practice stick to your side.

his eyes immediately crinkle in joy, rook has to look away and cover the lower part of his face to shy away the flush in his cheeks that would give away his thoughts. rook wouldn't mind if you knew how he felt, but this time he feels as though he's doing this to contain the excitement off his face. you can practically hear the tremble in his voice as he giggles out. "oh tricheur ! mon coeur bat pour toi dans ma poitrine!" it looks like rook completely forgot to existence of the person right next to you. if he got madol from the amount of times he practically sang of his love for you rook would be rich.

just like any other time where you say something off handed epel quickly goes out of character and nearly screams. asking, shaking your shoulders, out of breath by the amount of times he aggressively shook you for the answer of "really?!" his voice becomes that of a boy you aren't used to, but if he's really that willing to show you the person he truly is it makes you like him more. if you do agree, admittedly with your surroundings growing distorted he yells out a happy "YESSS." then coughs and resumes to his soft persona like he wasn't the complete opposite a minute ago. (the person that asked was shook)

ignihyde

it's hard to say if idia is actually gonna be next to you since,, he's idia and do you really think he'd entertain the thought of being in a conversation with someone who he doesn't know? so let's just pretend his tablet is floating next to you, it's better than nothing you guess. you spared a glance to the electronic when you literally confessed your type, idia himself fitting the category perfectly. you swore you heard a squeak but ehh.. maybe it was a rat or something.

meanwhile. ortho comes inside idia's room expecting his elder brother to just be sitting on his bed, gaming chair or something but no. idia shroud is on the floor, with his headphones hazzardly over the floor like it fell over when he did. his hair is sprawled around the floor, heating into a concerning passionate pink as he rolls around and... squeals..? just from the headphones ortho can vaguely hear a "my type..? oh you know idia? I'd kill to have a boyfriend like him." playing on repeat.

diasomnia

he would be like: ˘ ˘ and then: ‎◜◡◝ after he hears you. if there a sound for a big, happy dragon malleus would be excluding them. when I tell you he wishes nothing but to just whisk you away on spot he's not kidding, unlike everyone else who unintentionally forgot the person who asked. this man forgets them intentionally because he can't keep his eyes off you like.. 'hey other human. me and my child of man are having a moment here. will you please leave now. did you not get the sign'

giggles but with his deep voice it sounds kinda weird, but nice to the ears nonetheless. lilia labels you as his main target now, perhaps scaring you shitless at the random times is his love languange because he does it a lot. don't worry though, he always says a half hearted apology with a smile and showers you with affection right after. how could you be mad with how he treats you? even though he cares for you after you can't help but pray that the glint you saw in the ceiling was just some shiny thing.. maybe malleus got it from him because he doesn't care for the other person too.

sebek scolds you period. not only have you mentioned his name (which he's embarrassingly torn between being disgusted and fluster) but you've also mentioned that he's your type?? but I honestly think he approves your taste. "OF COURSE I am the ideal man! I applaud you for once human. not everyone can see the value of loyalty and devotion to waka-sama!" he says but with the increasing pink in his face you know better than to think that it's for the sole reason of malleus.

with the increasing time you've both spent together, silver has practically devoted himself to following you around whenever he's awake. (sebek says something about him always needing to be by malleus' side but quickly shuts up after silver comments that sebek is more than capable to look after him) the surroundings are growing hazy when you say it but he hears it nonetheless. he's happy to say that he dreamt a pleasing dream he's ever gotten in a long time. and since you were in it, it's safe to say that he's positively infatuated now.

clarifications

translation for rook is,, "oh trickster! my heart beats for you in my chest!"

I connected ignihyde parts since I REFUSE to leave out ortho!!

I really liked how those ^ parts came out. my favorite actor cause I think it's cute for idia to be freaking out like that lolol. especially with the idea of recording of your voices to listen to cause he's that down bad

[alottiegoingon]

HIDDEN

natalie scatorccio x gn!reader

summary: you and nat study together.

warnings: reader and nat have a crush on each other, indirect flirting, nat lives in a trailer, not proofread.

the evening sun filtered through the thin curtains of the small, run-down trailer, casting a warm glow over the cluttered interior. books and notes were scattered across the worn-out coffee table, where natalie sat cross-legged, her fingers idly flipping through the pages of her history textbook.

you sat opposite her, your own textbooks spread out in front of you. the air was thick with the unspoken tension that had been building between you two for months. friends, yes, but always teetering on the edge of something more. it was in the way her eyes lingered on you a moment too long, in the playful banter that always seemed to have an underlying meaning.

"you know," you said, breaking the comfortable silence, "if you spent half as much time studying as you do with that eyeliner, you'd probably ace this test."

natalie smirked, her dark eyes flicking up to meet yours. "yeah, but then i wouldn't have time to show off my impressive ability to make straight a's and perfect wings," she retorted, her voice laced with sarcasm.

you laughed, shaking your head. "fair point. but really, nat, you need to focus. mr. benson is gonna grill us on the civil war tomorrow."

she groaned, dropping her head back dramatically. "i know, i know. it's just...so boring. why can't history have more explosions or something?"

"pretty sure there were plenty of explosions during the civil war," you replied, raising an eyebrow. "you just have to know where to look."

natalie rolled her eyes but leaned forward, her elbow resting on the table as she glanced at your notes. "alright, impress me with your historical knowledge then."

you launched into a brief explanation of the major battles, trying to make it as engaging as possible. every so often, you'd catch her eye, and there it was – that spark, that hint of something more. you couldn't help but wonder if she felt it too.

as the minutes ticked by, you found yourself getting lost in the rhythm of your conversation. you teased each other mercilessly, yet there was an underlying tenderness in every jibe. it was in the way she nudged your foot with hers under the table, the way her laughter lit up her face and made your heart skip a beat.

at one point, you leaned over to grab a highlighter, your hand brushing against hers. a jolt of electricity shot through you, and you saw her eyes widen ever so slightly. neither of you moved, the contact lingering just a second too long before you pulled away, your cheeks flushed.

"see," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper, "you're actually pretty smart when you try."

natalie snorted, but there was a softness in her gaze. "don't get used to it. i'm only doing this because you begged me."

"begged? i seem to recall you saying you needed help, and i graciously offered my services," you shot back, a grin tugging at your lips.

she chuckled, shaking her head. "whatever helps you sleep at night."

the playful banter continued like a dance, the two of you circling around the truth but never quite touching it. you wanted to say something, to break the barrier and let her know how you felt, but the fear of ruining what you had held you back.

as the sun dipped below the horizon, the trailer was bathed in a soft, golden light. you closed your textbook, stretching your arms over your head. "i think that's enough for today. we should probably get some rest if we're gonna survive the class tomorrow."

natalie nodded, closing her own book with a sigh of relief. "yeah, you're right. thanks for... helping me out."

there was a moment of silence. you could see the conflict in her eyes, the same battle you were fighting within yourself. finally, she stood up.

"guess i'll see you tomorrow," she said, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

you nodded, standing up as well. "yeah, see you tomorrow, nat."

as she walked you towards the door, you felt a pang of regret. you didn't want to leave things unsaid, but the words were lodged in your throat. just as she reached for the handle, already opening it for you, you blurted out, "hey, nat?"

she turned around, her eyes searching yours. "yeah?"

you took a step closer, your heart pounding in your chest. "i...i just wanted to say...you're not as useless as you think you are. you're actually pretty amazing."

a flicker of surprise crossed her face, followed by a soft smile that she quickly hid. "don't get all soft on me," she muttered, her cheeks flushing slightly was the last thing you saw before leaving the trailer.

[punkshort]

look what we've become - ch.2

Chapter Summary: Events from Tommy and Maria's engagement party force you to confront your feelings with Joel about the future.

Chapter Warnings: language, alcohol, smut (MDNI 18+), p in v unprotected sex, dirty talk, angst, fear of commitment, talk of pregnancy

WC: 7.7K

Series masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

You couldn't have picked a hotter day to host the engagement party. Sweat trickled down your neck as you finished cleaning up your kitchen, cursing yourself the whole time for coming up with the idea in the first place. You straightened up and looked around the first floor, deciding you were finally satisfied with the result before sliding on your sneakers to go find your friend and co-worker, Carrie, outside.

Jogging down the porch steps, you spun your head in either direction before spotting her across the street talking to Julia, one of Jackson's elementary school teachers, and balancing a large box on her hip. They both turned and gave a wave when they saw you approach.

"Hey," you said breathlessly, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand, your skin feeling instantly flush when the sun's rays hit you. "House is all clean, ready to start setting up?"

"Yeah! Julia was just telling me what a fun time her kids had making the decorations, that was such a good idea," Carrie said, flicking her long, blonde hair over her shoulder and fanning the back of her neck.

"It was a great distraction from the heat this week," Julia said with a smile. "I'm glad we could help out. You girls give me a call if you need any help over there, I'll come right over."

"Seth's supposed to come by later and borrow your oven," you reminded her, and she nodded.

You both thanked her and headed back across the street. The original plan had been to have everyone in your backyard, but the amount of people on the guest list grew so large that you decided to just set up tents and tables right in the middle of the street, with your house as the home base for all the food. People would be able to easily filter in and out as they needed throughout the night. All you had to do was hang up the decorations inside and on your porch, as well as set up various tables inside to hold all the food. Seth was providing the majority, but everyone in town wanted to pitch in and help so by the end, it turned out to be a potluck.

Carrie was helping you pin up a huge banner across your porch railing congratulating the happy couple when a few of the men in town arrived to set up the tents, tables and chairs in the street. All of your neighbors supplied whatever they could to the cause: folding tables, patio furniture, camping chairs. It was a bunch of mismatched furniture under tents and umbrellas, but as long as there were enough places for people to sit, that was all that mattered.

"C'mon, let's go sit in front of the fan inside, I'm dying," Carrie told you once you had finished decorating the porch. You agreed, following her inside to grab some water and rest.

"Where's Joel?" she asked you, flopping down on the couch and throwing her leg over the arm while she took a long drink of water.

"He's helping Seth bring all the meat over," you explained, sitting down across from her to catch your breath. "They'll be here in a bit." You had planned the start of the party for dinnertime, hoping the sun would be lower by that point and possibly cooler.

"He's got to be so happy for Tommy," she said.

"Oh, yeah, of course. He probably thought Tommy would never settle down, the way he used to get around at work," you said with a giggle.

"I always forget you three knew each other before the outbreak," Carrie replied. "Seems like a lifetime ago."

"Tell me about it," you said with a sigh. "I think I've lived three lives since then."

Carrie eyed you for a moment, her eyes shining with a playful glint you knew usually accompanied some type of gossip.

"Sooo..." she began, swinging her leg back and forth over the arm of the couch with a smirk. "You think you and Joel are next?"

You sputtered on your water, somehow not expecting her to steer the conversation in that direction.

"What?" you managed to squeak out, your pulse quickening.

"Well, you two have been together for years. Longer than Tommy and Maria. I figured them getting engaged would have gotten you guys thinking about it, too," she said with a shrug.

"No. No, I don't think so," you said, shaking your head.

"Have you guys talked about it?"

"Well... no. But I don't think - um, he's never..." you struggled to finish your sentence, not sure how to verbalize the jumbled mess in your head.

"What? You think he's never thought about it?" Carrie asked, furrowing her brows.

"He was engaged a long time ago and it ended badly, I don't think that's something he's interested in doing again," you finally said, hoping that would put an end to the conversation. You wiped your palms on your shorts, suddenly feeling clammy.

"Well, that doesn't mean anything. He's crazy about you, why wouldn't he want to marry you?"

Your mouth felt dry as you considered her words. With a shaky hand, you grabbed your water and took a long sip. Carrie eyed you carefully, finally noticing your nerves.

"Do you want to marry him?" she asked softly. You looked over at her with wide eyes.

"I... I'm not sure," you finally admitted. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You can't repeat this to anyone, Carrie, I'm serious." She nodded and crossed her heart, sitting upright so she could give you her full attention.

"I love him. More than anything. And I don't want to be with anyone else," you began as she nodded along. "But the thought of marrying him scares the shit out of me."

"Why?" she asked incredulously. You shrugged.

"I can't be sure. I've been thinking about it for weeks and I can't come up with just one answer. I just hope I figure it out before -"

Just then, the screen door swung open and you heard Seth and Joel's voices carrying down the hall. You widened your eyes at Carrie and made a cross over your heart, which she returned with a resolute nod and put on her game face.

"Ladies," Seth said in greeting with a nod as he headed over to your oven, twisting the nobs to preheat it and began to shove covered trays of food inside. You both stood up and entered the kitchen, ready to help. Joel followed down the hall shortly after, placing his armful of food on the counter before turning to you both.

"Looks great out there," he said with a quick kiss to the top of your head. You inhaled deeply, taking in his intoxicating scent: a mix of his sweat and the soap he used that morning. What was wrong with you for not wanting to marry this man?

"I'm gonna take the rest of these across the street," Seth said as he scooped up the remaining trays and slipped his boots back on.

"Thanks, Seth," you called after him as he pushed open the door with a quick wave over his shoulder.

"I was going to head home and get ready, unless you need anything else?" Carrie asked, and you shook your head, thanking her as well. She gave Joel a quick smile as she made her way to the front door. Once she was sure his back was to her, she gave you a look and mouthed we'll talk later before she headed back out into the blistering heat.

"You're fuckin' kiddin' me, right?" Joel asked, a pained expression on his face when you came down the stairs and he saw the dress you had put on for the party.

"What?" you replied, genuinely perplexed as you met him in the kitchen. It was a simple sundress: pale blue with small flowers that fell just above your knee. You adjusted one of the spaghetti straps, feeling self-conscious. It wasn't racy by any means, but the way he was staring made you feel like you were wearing a corset and stockings.

"How am I supposed to keep my hands off you when you're wearin' this?" he murmured, closing the gap between you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"It's nothing special, Joel," you said with a laugh. "All the women will be wearing dresses, it's hot as hell out."

"It's special if it's on you," he said right before slotting his lips against yours, taking your breath away. He supposed you were right. It was a relatively modest dress, but he couldn't help his reaction. You used to wear dresses or skirts almost every day at the office before the outbreak, but it was a rarity now. One he didn't want to waste.

"Jesus, you're insatiable lately," you teased, giving his chest a gentle shove so you could create some space, knowing full well people would be arriving any minute to set up their dish to share.

"Well, can you blame me?" he shot right back, about to descend upon your neck when the screen door slammed open and shut. He groaned when he heard Carrie and her boyfriend, Jake, call out from the hallway.

"In here!" you replied, giving Joel's hand a quick squeeze before letting it go to greet the first of your guests.

Fortunately, once the sun set, the temperature did seem to drop a few degrees. You and Joel sat at a table with Tommy and Maria, getting small pockets of conversation in between all the well-wishers stopping by to chat and examine her ring. You probably heard the story of how Tommy proposed about twenty times by the time you started your third drink, feeling pleasantly relaxed and pleased at how well the party came together after all the hard work everyone put into it. You leaned back onto Joel's shoulder with a sigh as you listened to Maria tell an older couple how Tommy spilled red wine on the carpet because his hands were shaking so badly.

"You did good, sweetheart," Joel murmured in your ear. "This was real nice."

"Thanks," you said, turning your face upwards to give him a sweet smile. Fuck, he was so handsome. "Everyone pitched in, though. Wasn't just me."

"Yeah, but you organized it all, and that's a lot of work. You made 'em very happy," he said, nodding in the direction of his brother and his bride to be.

You smiled again and took another sip of your drink. He put his own glass down on the table in favor of putting his hand on your knee and giving you a gentle squeeze. You cocked an eyebrow at him and leaned in closer as his eyes briefly drifted down, trying to get a peek at your cleavage.

"What are you up to, Mr. Miller?" you asked quietly, your gaze flicking to his hand on your knee, which was sneakily making its way further up your leg. He shrugged and gave you a sly smirk.

"Just enjoyin' the view," he replied.

The couple Maria was talking to finally walked away, and she directed her attention back to you.

"Now that I think we finally have more than five minutes, we wanted to ask you both something," Maria said, her eyes sparkling as she looked over at Tommy.

"Will you be our best man and maid of honor?" Tommy asked with a warm smile.

"Oh my god, of course!" you exclaimed, jumping up from Joel's grasp to give Maria a tight hug.

"We'd love to," Joel confirmed, standing and giving his brother a firm handshake before you shoved him out of the way to give Tommy a hug. Joel gave Maria a kiss on the cheek and you settled back in your chair, scooting closer to Maria to hear the plans she had already come up with for the ceremony.

Joel clinked his glass of whiskey against Tommy's with a nod before they each took a sip and sat back to watch you and Maria talking animatedly about how she wants her hair to look for the big day.

"So," Tommy began with a knowing look on his face. Joel curtly shook his head to stop Tommy, but he knew you weren't listening.

"I don't know yet," was all Joel said, without Tommy having to finish his thought. "Didn't want to steal your thunder, and all that."

"Bullshit, you're just nervous," Tommy said with a chuckle.

"Ain't no rush. When it's right, I'll ask," he replied with a shrug.

"Well, you know her better than anyone," Tommy conceded.

"Who?" you asked, turning your attention towards the brothers.

"Velvet, the mare Joel's been usin' on patrol lately. She's got a stubborn streak," Tommy said, the lie rolling off his tongue with ease.

"Hm. I can see why they get along so well, then," you said with a wink, pulling a laugh from Tommy and Maria. Joel rolled his eyes at your joke, giving you half a smirk. He not-so-secretly loved it when you teased him.

"You should talk," he said, pinching your arm.

"Hey, Joel. Before I forget. I gotta ask you to come out with me in a few weeks. It's about that new settlement we made contact with a month ago, they wanna meet up and see about trades," Tommy said. "Should only take few days."

You hated when Joel had to leave overnight. You tried to keep your disappointment hidden, but Joel knew you too well. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, tugging you into him and fiddling with the strap of your dress as he spoke to Tommy.

"You got it," Joel replied with a nod. "Someone's gotta make sure you live long enough to make it down the aisle."

Yet another group of people came over to chat with Tommy and Maria, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carrie and a few other women cleaning up, so you got up with a sigh to join them. As you were about to walk away, Joel stood up and snagged your hand, turning you around to face him.

"I'm sorry, I know you don't like it when I'm gone too long," he said softly, running his knuckle down your cheek.

"It's okay. I'll just have to entertain myself for a few days," you said dramatically. "But I have no idea what I'll do in that big bed all by myself," you added quietly with a pout. You ran your palms up his chest and reached up to adjust the collar on his button down before looking up to meet his darkened gaze. "Do you have any ideas, Joel?" you asked innocently, batting your lashes.

The grip he had on you tightened and he opened his mouth to reply when Julia interrupted, calling your name from a few tables away.

"Do you have any extra Tupperware?" she had asked, and you wiggled out of Joel's grasp before replying.

"Sure do, I'll meet you guys inside and help pack up all the food," you said, walking over to pick up any empty plates you could manage before following her into your kitchen, his eyes glued to the way you floated around the party until he lost sight of you.

As the night wore on, many of the older couples and families with young children filtered home, leaving about thirty or so people behind closer to midnight. You wondered how the town was going to function tomorrow, collectively hungover, as you gratefully accepted another glass of wine from Carrie and plopped on your couch. The men all ended up congregating outside on the porch or backyard, whereas the women all elected to stay inside.

You were listening to one of the girls drone on about a terrible date she had with one of the newer guys in town when the screen door whipped open loudly, followed by boisterous laughter from what sounded like the rest of the men, likely bored with being outside alone.

"Ladies!" Tommy called out drunkenly, arms spread wide with a beer bottle dangling from his fingers. His hip nudged one of your kitchen chairs, the legs scraping on the floor as he made his way over to Maria.

"Oh, great," Maria said, rolling her eyes, but you could see the corners of her mouth turning up into a smirk as Tommy leaned over behind the couch to wrap his arms around her.

Everyone else followed him inside, and suddenly your quiet little sanctuary was filled with loud laughter and shouting as a few men in your kitchen had a very lively argument over sports teams that no longer existed, while others wandered around the living room to try their luck with some of the women.

You stood from the couch, the conversation you all were having earlier effectively over, as you pushed through the bodies of people suddenly filling your home. As you made your way to the bathroom, your eyes darted around, trying to find Joel, but you couldn't see or hear him anywhere.

With a sigh, you snuck into the bathroom and locked the door behind you, enjoying the quiet for a moment. You checked your reflection in the mirror when you were done using the bathroom, smoothing down your hair but the humidity from the day made it difficult, before unlocking the door.

You stumbled back when the door pushed open from the other side, the yelling, and now, music, filling the small room briefly before the door quickly closed again.

Joel's lips were on yours before you could blink, the heady taste of whiskey on his tongue as he sloppily licked into your mouth. His hands greedily reached down to squeeze your ass, bunching your dress up a bit in the process.

"Joel!" you managed to gasp before his mouth devoured yours again, pushing you back against the sink while your fingers gripped his shirt for balance.

"Fuck, need ya so bad 'n all these people won't fuckin' leave," he slurred, his lips nipping at your jaw. Heat bloomed between your legs at the hungry way he grabbed and kissed you, like he couldn't stop himself.

"You're drunk," you said breathily, tipping your head back.

"So are you," he mumbled, and you couldn't stop the lazy smirk that spread across your face. He had you there.

His hands slid down to lift up the back of your dress, his palms caressing the exposed skin of your ass and your lacy underwear before he squeezed, making you squeak.

"We have guests, Joel," you said as his lips made their way down your neck, his tongue leaving soft licks as he went. He pulled you close, pressing his hips against you so you could feel the hard outline of his cock against your stomach.

"D'ya want me to stop?" he asked, pulling his face back a moment to search your eyes. You stared up at him, panting slightly as you thought about it. His eyes were dark with lust, lips and cheeks flush and hair tousled as he waited for your answer. You shook your head.

"We need to be fast," you whispered, and he pounced on you immediately. His fingers wrapped around your jaw, holding your mouth open so he could plunge his tongue inside, swirling and flicking around yours with a groan.

"Turn 'round," he ordered gruffly while also spinning your body around to face the mirror. You watched his reflection with bated breath as he hiked your dress up and hooked your panties to the side. His ankle nudged yours so you would spread your legs wider, and you could feel the dampness at your core from the excitement. He dipped a finger along your folds while his other hand worked on his belt and jeans, inhaling sharply when he realized how wet you were already. His eyes flicked up to find yours in the mirror and he grinned, stroking his cock.

"Are you going to tease me or fuck me?" you asked, pushing your hips back against him.

"Think you did enough teasin' tonight for the two of us," he said, lining himself up before grabbing your hip. "Walkin' 'round in this dress, with these legs 'n this ass," he let his hand slide from your hip to squeeze your ass again as if to emphasize his point. "Guess that just leaves one thing."

He slammed into you hard with a grunt, knocking the air from your lungs as he buried himself inside you with one quick thrust. You bit down on your lower lip to keep from crying out, only a small whimper escaping while you focused on the delicious sting as you adjusted around him.

"Fuck, that's good," he gasped, looking down where you were connected so he could watch his cock as he shallowly thrusted in and out, giving you a few minutes to acclimate. Your head fell forward between your shoulders with a soft moan, gripping the edge of the sink as he pushed inside you over and over, the room filling with small gasps and groans from you both.

"Right there," you mumbled when he readjusted and found the angle that made you see stars. "Fuck, Joel, don't stop," you said with a whine, squeezing your eyes shut as the top of your head began to bump against the mirror with each snap of his hips.

His hand left your hip and came up to wrap around your hair. He gave it a firm tug and tipped your head back, your eyes flying open in surprise as you met his gaze in the mirror.

"Watch," he ordered, his jaw clenched as he continued to slam into you. "Watch how good you take me, want you to see what I get to see every time I fuck this perfect pussy," he muttered in your ear. You groaned, the filth pouring from his mouth driving you wild, the muscles in your stomach tensing as your orgasm built up.

He nibbled at your earlobe as he stared at you in the mirror, his thrusts coming so fast that your hip bones felt bruised already, but you pushed through it, relishing the idea of having a physical reminder of this moment for the next few days.

"See how lucky I am?" he continued while his other hand traveled down to rub messy circles over your clit, making your jaw fall open. "Look at you, look how wrecked you get from this cock." He wasn't wrong. Your eyes were glassy, either from the alcohol or unshed tears, you weren't sure. Your cheeks were flushed and lips swollen, hair an absolute mess now that Joel's fingers were tangled in it.

"Joel," you whimpered as you felt yourself clenching around him, right on the edge of release.

"I'm right here, I got you, c'mon, give it to me," he said with a grunt, his own climax quickly approaching. You slapped your hand over your mouth to stifle your low, drawn out moan as you came, your arousal soaking his cock and your head falling back on his shoulder.

"That's it, I got you," he whispered in your ear, your orgasm still rippling through you. "Fuck, so pretty when you come," he panted, his hips stuttering before he wrapped his arms around you, tightly holding you against his chest. He sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he came with a loud groan, your body hardly doing anything to muffle the sound.

With the back of your head still resting on his shoulder, your eyes slid shut, enjoying the afterglow for a few moments while his body shuddered behind you and his grip loosened.

Joel kept his hands on your arms to steady you as he pulled out, a curse leaving his lips in the process. He tucked himself back into his jeans with one hand, then met your eyes in the mirror.

"Can ya stand?" he asked you softly. You nodded and took a deep breath, unrolling some toilet paper to clean up the mess between your legs before fixing your underwear and dress.

You straightened up and looked at him leaning against the bathroom wall, watching you with a smug look on his face.

"You're an animal, you know that?" you said, pressing yourself against him with your chin resting on his chest and your arms around his waist.

"You love it," he replied before cupping your face in his hands and giving you a firm kiss.

The sound of a glass bottle breaking and a collective roar of taunts erupted from your kitchen, pulling you both out of your daze.

"Goddamnit, Tommy," Joel muttered, pushing himself off the wall to open the door. You heard him jokingly berating his brother as you quickly ran your fingers through your hair, making yourself look less fucked before rejoining the festivities.

The sun beamed through your curtains, brightness flashing across your eyelids, contributing more to the pounding already in your head. You buried your face into your pillow, willing the sun or the pain to cease before you were forced to get up for the day. Joel had already left early that morning for patrol, something you thought was cruel considering he was about to leave for the trip Tommy mentioned a few weeks ago during the party the very next day.

With a groan, you pushed yourself up, squinting to minimize the impact from the sun as you stumbled into the bathroom in search of something to numb the pain. Popping two white pills into your mouth, you leaned over the sink to drink from the faucet, swallowing the medicine before splashing your face with cold water, desperate to do anything that might help.

It was your day off from work, but you had promised Maria you would help her with inventory before the men made their trip, so you shoved on your jeans and a clean shirt and made your way downstairs, elated to find Joel had left the coffee machine on for you. You poured the remaining liquid into a thermos so you could take it on the go, hoping the caffeine combined with the Tylenol would diminish the throbbing between your eyes.

By the time you made it to the warehouse, your head seemed to be slightly better, although the ache was still persistent. You must not have been hiding your pain very well because when Maria saw you, she frowned.

"What happened to you?"

"No idea, I woke up with the worst migraine," you said with a groan and flopped down on a nearby chair.

"You trying to get out of helping me?" she teased, and you smirked.

"Me? Never," you replied, and took a tentative sip of coffee, your stomach immediately churning. With a grimace, you set down your drink and leaned forward to rub your temples.

"Did you drink last night?" Maria asked, setting down her clipboard. You shook your head.

"No. Maybe I'm coming down with something," you said with a sigh. "It'll pass. I just need a distraction. Where should I start?"

"How about toiletries? I already did medicine yesterday, and I'm working on dry goods right now," she said, nodding to the other side of the aisle. You stood and picked up the clipboard and pen she left for you and got to work counting shampoo bottles and tubes of toothpaste.

"So, what are you thinking for a dress?" you asked her over your shoulder. "There's that strip mall a few miles out, last I heard it was all clear. There was a little boutique there."

"I haven't even thought about it yet, but that's a good idea. Maybe we can sneak away while the boys are gone and check it out," she said with a grin.

"What's the deal with this new settlement, anyway? Joel said they have some weird name, I can't remember what he called them," you said, cursing under your breath when you saw the amount of toothbrushes you had to count.

"Fireflies," Maria responded. "Yeah, weird name. The way Tommy described them sounded like they were kind of intense, but they have a settlement in an old hospital a few cities away and they supposedly have tons of medicine we could use. Bill's running way too low on antibiotics."

"What was intense about them?" you asked, giving her your full attention now. You didn't like the idea of Joel walking into a potentially hostile situation.

"I guess they are trying to lead some revolution against FEDRA in the QZs. They're looking for weapons and stuff like that to trade," she explained.

"Well, hopefully they need toothbrushes because we have more than enough," you muttered, turning back to your task. "Is it safe?"

"Is anything safe anymore?" Maria replied with a shrug. "He wouldn't risk it if he thought they would get jumped, if that's what you mean."

"Yeah, I guess so," you said, getting back to work. As the morning wore on, you listened to Maria talk about the council she was trying to form to lead the town. She had been the leader of Jackson since you joined, and her intention was always to share the duties with others. The town grew so fast and she had a hard enough time keeping up with everything that needed to be done, so the formation of a town council took a backseat the past few years.

"Wanna take a break and eat something?" Maria asked after a few hours. You nodded. Your head was finally beginning to feel better and the thought of food perked you up a bit.

"Did you want to go to the mess hall or just grab something off the shelf here?" she asked, picking up a box of granola bars and examining the label before putting it back on the shelf.

"Let's just stay here, we're on a roll," you told her, putting your clipboard on the shelf to join her at the dry goods section, examining your choices. You decided on a protein bar and some dried fruit, but the moment you bit into the bar, you felt your stomach roll. You paused mid chew, trying to push through the nausea and swallow, but you couldn't do it. Glancing around the room quickly, you spotted a garbage can in the corner and raced over, spitting out your food with a dry heave as you clutched the basket, bracing yourself for another wave of nausea.

"Whoa!" Maria exclaimed, hurrying over to you. You hovered over the garbage, your breath coming in shaky gasps and tears pricking your eyes as you dry heaved again. Maria rubbed comforting circles on your back and scooped your hair out of the way as you caught your breath, the nausea fading to the point where you felt confident enough to sit back against the wall, squeezing your eyes shut.

"You alright?" Maria asked you after a minute, and you weakly nodded your head. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know, I must be getting sick," you said, opening your eyes to accept the bottle of water she handed you. "I've been feeling really run down lately, I probably got the flu."

"In the middle of summer?" she asked you with a raised eyebrow. You shrugged and took a small sip of water.

"Maybe I should go home, I don't want to get you sick," you said, pushing yourself up the wall to stand.

"Sure, go get some rest," Maria said, straightening up. "You just better not be pregnant before me," she added teasingly.

"I'm not pregnant, I just had my period," you said with a shake of your head.

"When?"

You paused for a moment as you thought about it, then your eyes went wide. Maria noticed, her eyes widening, too.

"Oh, my god," you whispered, slumping back down against the wall. "I think I'm late."

"How late?" Maria asked, joining you back on the floor.

"Maybe a week? That's not that bad, though, right?"

"No, it's not that late..." she agreed, trailing off. "Is that normal for you?"

"Not really," you said. "But maybe it's from stress. I've been worried about Joel going on this trip... oh shit, what am I going to tell Joel?" You pushed the heels of your hands roughly into your eyes with a groan.

"Why don't we find you a test first before you worry about that," Maria said, looking around at the shelves. "Did you find any pregnancy tests in the toiletries?"

"No, I think Kate used the last of them, and it's not like it's a high priority item for the guys on patrol," you said, jumping up to nervously pace around the room. "Oh fuck, what am I going to do?!"

Your breathing was getting shallower the more your anxiety flared up. A baby was not something you were sure you ever wanted, let alone right now. Coupled with the insecurities you had been feeling ever since Maria and Tommy got engaged, the timing couldn't have been worse. It wasn't too long ago you were barely able to keep yourself alive and safe, how could you possibly expect to care for a helpless infant? You were fortunate to have found Jackson and the security that brought with it, but if the wrong people found your town, who knows what would happen.

"Why don't I walk you home," Maria said, feeling useless. "You should rest... either way."

The walk home was quick. Luckily, no one had stopped either of you to chat. Maria ushered you inside, sitting you down on the couch before bringing you a glass of water and some crackers from your pantry.

"Let me talk to Tommy when he gets home. I'll see if he can get some tests-" she held her hands up when you whipped your head around to look at her, eyes widened in fear. "I'll say it's for me, I won't mention you, I promise. I'll say I want them on hand for when we start trying, or something."

"If I don't have my period by the time they get back from their trip, I think I'll have my answer, anyway," you said sullenly, burying your face in your hands.

Maria chewed her lip and nodded, knowing you were probably right. She resumed rubbing circles on your back as you leaned forward with your head between your knees, your head clouded with fear.

"I have to tell Joel," you whispered, a tear trickling down your cheek. "He'll know something's wrong, I-I can't keep this from him."

"Tommy can do the trip without Joel, this is more important," said Maria.

"Yeah," you mumbled, leaning back and staring at your hands twisted together in your lap. How could you be so stupid?

"Do you think you'll be okay, or do you want me to stay?" she asked you, worry written all over her face. You shook your head and offered her a weak smile.

"I'll be fine, I know you have a lot to do and I just bailed on you," you said, patting her arm. She stood up, looking down at you, putting a hand on your shoulder before leaving.

"You know, you really went too far to get out of work this time," she joked, earning a huff of laughter from you. "But listen. It'll be okay, no matter what happens. We will all help you guys out, if... you know. You won't be in this alone." She gave you a reassuring squeeze, and you smiled, putting your hand warmly over the top of hers.

"Thanks, Maria," you whispered. She nodded before dropping her hand, and you watched her walk out the front door, leaving you all alone, wondering how exactly you were going to tell Joel.

You remained frozen to the couch the rest of the afternoon, nibbling on crackers and your mind going a mile a minute, dreading the moment Joel would walk through the front door. Maybe it's a false alarm. Maybe you miscounted the days. You wondered if you should even tell him until you were sure, but you knew he would see right through you the second he got home.

Your heart jumped in your throat when you finally heard the front door swing open, squeezing your eyes shut to focus on your breathing as you heard him take off his boots and say your name.

"In here," you called out, forcing your eyes open and plastering a weak smile on your face as you stood to greet him.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said when he saw you, pulling you into his arms and planting a kiss on the top of your head.

"How was patrol?" you asked, stepping away and averting your gaze out the window.

"Long. I could kill Tommy for puttin' me on the schedule before this trip," he said, reaching down to the coffee table to grab your sleeve of abandoned crackers and tossing one in his mouth. "You and Maria wrap up early?" he asked with his mouth full. He turned to head towards the kitchen for a glass, filling it up at the sink as you remained planted in the living room, your fingers nervously fidgeting at your sides.

"Yeah," you said quietly. "Maria finished up without me."

He glanced over at you as he drank his water in one gulp, then wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand before sauntering back over.

"Good. Was thinkin' we can stay in tonight," he said as he wrapped his arms around you. "Gonna miss you," he added suggestively, his lips brushing against your temple before craning his neck lower to latch his mouth onto yours. He paused, sensing your tension for the first time, and drew back to examine you closer.

"What's wrong?" he asked, holding you at an arms length by your shoulders. You brought your hands up to cover his and took a shaky breath.

"I think you should sit down," you began. All the air rushed out of his lungs, panic squeezing his throat as his grip on your shoulders tightened.

"Why?" he asked as he fell back onto the sofa. His eyes never left yours as he waited, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. You sat down next to him and stared down at your hands, thinking about how to say it before deciding on just blurting it out.

"I'm late," you said, still avoiding his stare. There was a long pause before he replied.

"Late for what?" he asked, sounding confused. You squeezed your eyes shut and took a breath.

"My period, Joel," you said softly. You felt his body tense next to you, but you kept your eyes shut. "I... I don't know for sure, I couldn't find a test at the warehouse, but I thought you should know."

You could hear him breathing deeply next to you as he absorbed your words, but you couldn't bring yourself to look at him as you continued to explain.

"I haven't been feeling very well lately, I thought I was getting sick but then I realized... I don't know, it might be nothing," you rambled, your voice jumping up an octave as tears filled your closed eyes. "But it might be something, too, and I feel so fucking stupid and scared-"

"Hey," he said softly, finally finding his voice as he put a hand on your knee. "C'mon, look at me," he urged, hooking a finger under your chin and turning your face towards him.

You opened your eyes, two tears falling in the process as you reluctantly looked at him. His gaze softened as he stared at you, wiping away your tears.

"We've always been careful, I don't..." he trailed off as he thought about it before the realization dawned on him. "The party," he said, his voice heavy as his hands dropped from your face and he hung his head. "Fuck."

"Yeah," you said softly, letting your eyes fall back to your lap. You leaned forward, elbows resting on your knees so you could bury your face in your hands. "I don't know what to do, Joel. I can't do this," you mumbled, trying to fight back the tears.

He sighed and leaned back into the couch, scratching his beard thoughtfully for a second.

"Well, it's a little ahead of schedule, but if you are, we'll handle it like we do everythin' else," he replied. Now that the shock was wearing off, he was starting to come around to the idea, flashes of piggyback rides and first steps playing in his mind.

"'Ahead of schedule'?" you repeated sharply, dropping your hands to frown at him.

"Yeah. I mean, I figured one day after we got married-"

"Wait, what?" you asked, your voice rising as you stood up from the couch. "We never discussed any of this, Joel."

His brow furrowed, standing up as well and looking at you with confusion.

"Then let's discuss it now," he said, watching as you paced around the room.

You stopped pacing and stood across from him, eyeing him carefully as you crossed your arms.

"Do you really think it's responsible to bring a child into this world?" you asked him, your voice barely a whisper. He stared at you, his jaw ticking to the side as he thought about his answer.

"Probably not. But I don't think it's right to keep ourselves from bein' happy, either," he said with a shrug. "Gotta keep livin' our lives."

You searched his eyes for a moment as the weight of his words hit you. You took a deep breath and steeled yourself for your next question.

"So, what you're saying is getting married and having kids would make you happy?"

"'Course it would," he replied easily without a second thought. He frowned when he noticed the anguish flit across your face, and suddenly he realized there was a bigger problem. He swallowed roughly. "But it sounds like it wouldn't make you happy."

Tears welled up in your eyes. You tore your gaze away, unable to handle the hurt that was so clearly evident on his face.

"I'm happy the way things are," you said, your voice small. "I don't think I'm ready for... all that."

He nodded, clenching his jaw as he tried to keep the emotion from his voice.

"But one day?" he managed to ask, his throat suddenly feeling tight, worried about the answer.

"I-," you began to respond, then faltered, trying to find the right words. "I don't know, Joel," you finally said, your eyes glued to the floor as shame flooded your body.

He sniffed and put his hands on his hips, turning away from you to try to hide his pain, but it was palpable. The room was filled with tension and unspoken words. You couldn't believe you were breaking his heart like this. Closing your eyes, you wished more than anything you felt normal, that you wanted what he wanted, but you couldn't force it. You took a shaky breath before speaking again.

"I'm sorry, Joel. You don't deserve this, I'm fucked up," you whispered. "If those are things that would make you happy, you shouldn't have to sacrifice-"

"Don't you dare finish that fuckin' sentence," he said, and although his back was to you, you could tell his teeth were clenched as he spoke. You clamped your mouth shut, tears silently spilling down your cheeks.

"Joel-" you tried again, but he cut you off, whipping around to face you, his eyes glassy and his brow furrowed.

"You might be pregnant with my kid and this is how you tell me how you really feel?" he spat, his harshness making you recoil.

"I love you," you sobbed, wrapping your arms around yourself, tears flowing freely now.

"Not enough to wanna marry me, though," he said, and you weren't sure what hurt more: the words or the sadness that laced his voice.

"That's not fair," you whispered, tucking your chin into your chest.

"You're right. None of this is fair," he said, turning on his heel and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" you asked, taking a few steps forward so you could watch him walk down the hall.

"Out," he said curtly, and you winced. He paused with his hand on the door and dropped his head forward with a sigh. "I gotta think," he added softly without turning to look at you, then disappeared through the door, leaving you to collapse on the ground all alone in a hell of your own making.

You curled up on the couch that night waiting for him to come home, but fell asleep and didn't hear the door open or his feet on the stairs. You didn't wake until you heard the shower early the next morning. Sitting up from the couch, you tried to blink the sleep from your eyes when you felt the familiar, telltale cramping in your stomach. After going to the bathroom, you confirmed your suspicions.

You sat at the kitchen table until Joel came down the stairs, trying to be quiet until he realized you were already awake and waiting for him. He paused when he saw you at the table, but quickly averted his gaze to the cupboard to find his thermos.

"I'm not pregnant," you said quietly. His shoulders tensed for a moment, then lifted the coffee pot, pouring it into the tumbler before turning around to face you.

"You must be relieved," he said coldly. Your lower lip trembled and you stood up from the table to go to him, but he stepped away, creating more distance.

"I'll be back in a few days," he said, casting you a somber glance before turning towards the door.

You stood there, your hands tangling together in front of you, unsure what to do or say to fix this pain you caused. He stopped in front of the door, about to leave, but turned back one more time to look at you.

"Just tell me right now if you don't want me," he said, the expression on his face breaking your heart.

"I want you," you said immediately, and you swore you saw a flicker of relief in his eyes at how fast you responded. "I love you, Joel. So much. And I'm so sorry."

He stared at you for a moment, his eyes searching your puffy, tear stained face before giving you a firm nod, then turned to leave, closing the door softly behind him.

Tag List: @chiogarza, @sparklejumpropequeen-777, @shotgun-shelby @partyofone3413 @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk - lmk if I missed anyone or if you want to be removed

[thegoldencontracts]

Secrets

Summary: You find Azul talking about you behind your back. It doesn't go the way you think.

Notes: Despite the summary this is literally the fluffiest shit known to mankind don't be fooled I am nigh incapable of angst (that is not true in the slightest I love angst), fem!reader

You'd been dating Azul for a while now. And in that time, he'd been the perfect boyfriend. The perfect gentleman.

But, at the same time, you couldn't help but feel like he hadn't been Azul. That he hadn't been quite as genuine with you as you had with him, quite as vulnerable.

Then, one day, you heard him talking about you to Jade and Floyd.

It was a lovely afternoon. You were supposed to come to the VIP room at 5 PM, but you came a bit early, and you couldn't help but try and listen in on what was going on in there.

"Hey, Azul," Floyd said. "You look-"

"Nervous," Jade said.

"Your face is sooo red!"

Azul sputtered in indignation.

"I- er- well-" he started. "Shut it."

Floyd just snickered, and though Jade remained silent, you knew he was probably getting a kick out of this all too.

"The little grouperfish won't mind if you stutter a bit," Floyd said. Ever since you and Azul got together, he changed your nickname to grouperfish. Something, something, symbiotic relationships with octopodes.

"She will, I'm certain," Azul replied. You could only imagine how red he was right now. God, he probably looked so cute. If only you could break down the stupid door and see his face. "And, regardless-"

He trailed off, likely in embarrassment.

"Doesn't my darling deserve the best?"

Was it getting really warm in here all of a sudden, and was it just you? Whatever. You just felt your heart pounding. Azul hadn't ever said something so heartfelt, something so completely removed from the business filter of his.

After a while of nothing but the sound of you own heartbeat, Floyd finally spoke up.

"Pfft- that sounds so stupid, Azul!"

Floyd was awesome and all, but right now, you needed him to stop talking.

"Indeed." Et tu, Jade? Come on! Azul was being genuine for once! "Though I don't believe your little angelfish will entirely mind it."

Azul sighed.

"Anyone would find themselves repulsed by such a foolish declaration," he said. "If she ever found out I said that, I'm certain she'd never be able to look at me the same."

Well, you did know he said that, and you loved it!

"Come on," Floyd said. "Now you're just bein-"

You slipped, and pushed the door open. Oops. Guess it wasn't locked after all.

Azul's eyes widened, and he scrambled to recompose himself.

"Ah, darling!" He said, before his eyes narrowed as the realization hit him. "...Just how much have you heard?"

"Everything!" You chirped. And just when you thought Azul's face couldn't get any more red, it somehow did.

Floyd laughed.

"She's lookin' at you the same, isn't she?"

"Shut up, Floyd."

"If it makes you feel any better," you said. "I liked hearing your thoughts without a filter! It was a nice change of pace."

Jade flashed Azul an 'I-told-you-so' look. Azul, however, couldn't see it, because his face was buried in his hands.

And at that moment, it hit you.

He'd probably been made fun of a lot for being sentimental. He was clearly insecure about this, used to rejection.

"Hey, Azul," you said softly. Floyd looked at you in curiosity.

Azul, however, didn't respond, caught up in his own whirlwind of embarrassment. That was okay.

You just pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. The effect was instant. He looked up at you, eyes wide and face red.

"W-What is this?"

"I really did appreciate that," you said. 'What you said."

Azul stared at you with that slack-jawed look for a bit, before swatting you away.

"Get out," he said, face flushed. "A-All three of you."

"But weren't we supposed to hang out-"

"Re-enter later!" He shrieked, looking more mortified than anything. "You've bore witness to my humiliating state for far too long!"

Floyd snickered. Jade-

Come to think of it, where had Jade gone in the midst of all of this?

"And scene," you heard, seemingly out of nowhere. Jade had been recording this?

"Jade, I-" Azul cut himself off, already aware of the fact that Jade was probably going to use this as blackmail material. "Just leave already!"

"Fine, fine."

And as you shuffled our of the VIP room, you couldn't help the grin that crossed your face.

Azul was pretty cute when he was genuine.

[bitterie-sweetie]

Heyyy! If you’re open for requests, there’s this TikTok that I saw where a pregnant lady had her husband lift her heavy belly for a few minutes and it gave her some relief. I somehow could see Mingyu do that. His wife having a hard time getting used to her growth and him trying his best to help her 🫠🫠🫠

baby ⇢ mingyu x reader, 1k, fluff, domestic au ⇢ warnings: pregnancy, "baby" as a term of endearment, mingyu being his usually sweet self (mostly), established relationship

"This is all your fault, you know."

At the sharp tone of your words, Mingyu looks up from his phone. 

"This," you gesture at yourself, at the unmistakable way your stomach now protrudes, a little larger each day as time creeps closer to your due date. "This baby is already huge and we're not even halfway there. It's all your fault, Kim Mingyu. You and your—your stupidly big bones and your long limbs and your giant frame and, and—" 

It's another empty complaint, that's all. Lately that's been much of what comes out of your mouth the moment your sore feet touch the floor, having to support your new weight, and when you're rushing to the bathroom again after just having left it. And when you hear Mingyu's mom lament about how heavy he was at birth, you don't even want to think about how the next few months are going to go. 

This pregnancy is both a blessing and a curse.

You get up from your chair, eager to crawl into bed and let sleep magically melt away your problems if it comes at all tonight. But before you can take a single step, Mingyu is there. It takes him two steps to cross the room and come to your side, and while he usually wears a big smile whenever he looks your way, now it's been completely replaced with a frown. A solemn expression.

"I'm sorry, baby," he says softly, gingerly pulling you into a hug. 

"W-what? What are you apologizing for?"

"All of it."

You take a step back and try to wiggle out of his arms so you can properly read his expression. "Hey, I was just joking—"

"Y/N," he says, shaking his head as he loosens his arms, "it's hard going through all this alone. You know I would help if I could." 

He's being genuine—that much you can see, but that makes you all the more concerned. Is there something going on? What does he mean? So much of your attention has been focused on preparing for the baby ever since finding out the good news that you hardly had a moment to stop and consider his feelings in all of this, and for a second your heart drops at the thought that there might be something wrong. 

Mingyu's never been one to hide anything though. He always wears his heart on his sleeve and speaks without a filter—which is only a bad thing when he showers you with overly cheesy compliments—and even now, one look in his eyes tells you exactly what you want to know. You can see the excitement floating in his eyes, the absolute adoration at the start of this new chapter in your lives, the nerves of being a parent for the first time. 

But also mixed in there is a ton of guilt. 

While none of it is his fault, you can tell that he's feeling the immense guilt of watching you suffer to bring a child into this world while he is, well, still very much his regular self. 

"Mingyu, you are helping. You've been doing all the cooking and running around to get me whatever I'm craving, which has been a lot these days. You set up the baby's room all on your own, and then there are your massages—I'm going to get so used to having this luxury that I'll be asking for them even after all this." 

His frown only deepens. "Baby, that's not enough. I hate seeing you in pain and being unable to do anything about it. I wish I could take it from you." 

"Hey, look at me." You heave a sigh, reaching to take his face between your hands. "I'm fine, Mingyu. You know how strong I am, right? I can handle it. In fact, you should worry more about what this kid might do in the future."

"Knowing the two of us, that's probably true." He wavers for a second before a smile starts to creep onto his face, but he holds it back, almost shyly. "Y/N, can I try something?"

"Like what?"

Mingyu steps closer until the space between you diminishes, leaving only your belly pressed against his. Then in one motion, he takes his hands and carefully places them under your belly, and then lifts. 

"Does this help at all?" he asks, face gleaming with tentative hope.

You slowly relax into his hands and take notice of how everything shifts. The weight pressing on your bladder is alleviated immediately, and your sore lower back feels much better. Even your feet aren't quite as in pain as before. "Yeah, actually. This helps a lot. Thank you, baby." 

"Good. Then I'll do this for you all day." Then he nuzzles even closer to you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you wrap your arms around him as much as you can. There's still too much space between you with the baby in the way, but when you close your eyes and listen to the sound of Mingyu's steady breaths, it's enough to spread a warmth in your heart that takes you back to the early days of your relationship. 

"Hey, Y/N?" Mingyu pulls back slightly to look at you.

"Hmm?"

"Do you really think we should be worrying about how our kid might turn out? What they might be like?" 

You study him, looking beyond the spark of anxiety in his eyes. "Well, yeah, but they'll be fine. Trust me, if they have your genes, they'll basically be perfect already. You were a perfect kid." 

"I guess I kind of was." He stays still for a moment, but when he meets your eyes again, there's a mischievous smile threatening to creep across his lips. "Yeah, see, I wasn't exactly worried that the kid might turn out like me." 

"Hey, Kim Mingyu!"

[iamthecomet]

"I wish you would write a fic where Dewdrop is keeping Aether company during a stormy night in the infirmary and maybe helps him welcome a new life on earth"

The second I saw this one I knew I needed to write it. Sorry it took me so long. 2k (I got carried away, I'm SORRY) of Dewther fluff, and slice of life intimacy. No smut, not even a hint of it. Non-graphic scene of a sibling having a very normal and healthy birth (it's pretty glossed over, but it does happen and Dew and Aeth are in the room). Dew being good in a pinch. Dew's immaculate bedside manner (not sarcasm). Aether and Dew being so fucking in love it's sickening. This one is all sweet guys, I don't know what to tell you.

Dew hasn’t left Aether’s side since the tour ended. He stepped off the bus and glued himself to the bigger ghoul. Pressing his face into Aether’s broad chest and inhaling deep. Tucking himself under his arm and letting Aether lead him back into the Abbey. Held close. 

That was a couple weeks ago. Dew isn’t quite as physically attached as he was for the first few days–but he’s still always in sight or earshot. Dragging Aether into his bed every night, wrapping himself around him. They shower together, and if they don’t–Dew isn’t far. Sitting in the adjoining bedroom with a book. One eye on the bathroom door–cracked just enough. 

Chores haven’t started back up for the band ghouls yet. They’re on a break. So Dew takes the opportunity to follow Aether everywhere. Not that Aether minds. He’s not used to having a little shadow–but it’s kind of nice. Nice to be able to turn and talk to Dew when he wants. Nice to not spend long, endless, nights in the infirmary alone and in silence anymore. The abbey feels full again. And Dew is here, and warm, and always present.

Most nights, Dew sits himself at the nurse station while Aether makes his rounds. He fucks around on his phone, or reads a book, or flirts with whatever sibling drew the short straw and got stuck with the night shift. Aether watches him as he moves from room to room. Their eyes meeting over dimly lit hallways.  Lips quirking up as they see each other. Still here. Within touching distance. 

Tonight, Dew’s alone at the nurses desk. There’s a blizzard raging outside and Aether’s usual sibling had called in sick. Probably not really sick. Just reluctant to uncurl from a nice warm bed on a very stormy night. Aether doesn’t mind. Night shifts tend to be boring anyway. Emergencies are rare, and most of their beds now are filled with humans suffering from the flu or some resperatory thing that’s been going around. Both viruses unable to make the jump from human to ghoul, so Dew, unlike the human that was supposed to be here, is safe. His bedside manner leaves a little to be desired. But Aether doesn’t really care about that. All he needs is someone to put pills in cups and measure medicine and hand him something when he’s asked. 

Dew does all of it without complaint. He’s more squeamish than Aether. Proclaiming, without any sort of filter, that he isn’t going to empty any bedpans, Aeth. That’s fucking gross.

Aether doesn’t have the heart to tell him that there aren’t any bedpans in play right now. It’s quiet now–rounds are done. Dew’s settled in behind the nurses station with a book. Booted feet propped up on the desk, leaning just a little too far back in the chair. Aether watches him–can’t help it. Eyes drawn to the way Dew’s lips move a little as he reads, the way they always do when he’s fully engrossed. 

Aether watches the little furrow appear between his brow. He’ll smooth it away with his thumb later, when he finally gets out of here and takes Dew to bed. Pulling that overwarm body against his and pressing his cool fingers to all of the places Dew finds stuck. A clenched jaw, a creased brow, tense shoulders. 

Aether stands at the end of the infirmary hallway and watches him turn page after page. He should do something else. His job isn’t to watch Dewdrop. The abbey counts on him, needs him. His work is important. But he hasn’t been able to do this for months. And Dew has been attentive ever since he got home. Always aware, always watching–the way Aether is now. Cataloging all the little things about him that he missed. 

Dew turns the page again and looks up, meeting Aether’s eyes. Aether can’t hear his chuckle for the distance and the noise of a thousand medical machines around him but he sees it, and the eyeroll that accompanies it. 

“What?” Dew asks, loud enough to be heard but still classifying as a whisper. 

“Nothing.” 

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” 

“Can’t a guy just look?” 

He expects another smartass remark, but what he gets is a little more color on Dew’s cheeks, another eye roll. Eyes darting back down into the book to avoid really looking at Aether–to avoid having to admit that he likes it when Aether looks. 

Aether turns back to his job–spell not broken just interrupted. He stands in front of the big window that overlooks the wide back yard of the abbey and looks out as he counts pills into paper cups labeled with names and times.  The hill that slopes down to the lake. The forest at the far edge. If it was light out he’d be able to see the ridge of Mountain’s favorite greenhouse, and the maze even further off. As it is–all he sees is white. The snow falling in big fluffy flakes–faster than seems possible. Piling high on the grass. Burying the abbey under a blanket of white they won’t be free of until late spring. 

Their easy calm is broken when the infirmary door slams open. Two harried looking siblings burst in, one of them heavily pregnant. There’s sweat beading on her forehead–her habit gone, or forgotten. Auburn hair sticking to her skin in damp clumps. The other sibling holds onto her, supports her weight as best they can as they rush into the infirmary and right up to the nurses desk and a stunned Dewdrop. 

Dew puts his book down. “Uh–Aeth?” 

Aether is already there, coming up behind them to slot against the sister’s other side. Her cheeks are flushed, eyes wild and pain filled. He knows this sister–she’s been coming to him for all of her check-ups throughout her pregnancy, no issues, entirely healthy. And, Aether calculates a week early. Nothing to worry about. He puts his hand on the small of her back. 

“How far apart, Isla?”

“Five minutes just like you said,” Isla winces as another contraction hits and she bares down on the nurses station. Dew looks ready to flee. Eyes darting between Aether and the two siblings. 

“Good,” Aether says, calm, low. He pulls Isla and her friend away from the nurses desk and leads them into a room just off of it–empty and freshly cleaned. He gives Isla instructions to change into a hospital gown, and leaves her in her friend’s capable hands while he darts back into the main lobby. Dew’s got his book in his hand again–and his coat slung over his arm. 

“I’ll be in my room when you’re done–”

“I need your help,” Aether says without argument. Gathering things he needs from the nurses station by the arm full. He’s delivered plenty of babies alone–but it’s ill advised. And Dew is right here–he’s not getting out of this. 

“Oh hell no, this is way above my pay grade.” 

“There is no pay grade. Put on some gloves and help me,” Aether pauses, fully looks at Dew. There’s fear in his dilated pupils, in the rushed shallow breaths expanding his chest. Aether pins him with his gaze–allows himself this moment. “Please.” 

Dew sighs, he grimaces. Uncomfortable but unable to say no to Aether–not when he really does need him. He tosses his book down on the desk. “Promise I’m not going to like, accidentally kill a baby or something?” 

“You will not be going anywhere near any babies.” Aether promises, and Dew groans, but snaps on a pair of gloves and follows Aether into the room. Trailing behind him nervously. Isla is on the bed when they get there. Her friend, who introduces themself as Rae, standing up by her head. Their hand carding over Isla’s forehead, brushing sweaty hair away from her temples. Their fingers are laced together. 

Aether talks them through everything he does. Every touch, every movement. It’s as for Isla and Rae as it is for Dew who is still radiationg panic despite having pulled himself together enough that the humans in the room don’t notice. 

Dew, contrary to his own beliefs about hismelf, is good under pressure. Aether won’t tell him this–not yet anyway–but there is no one else he’d rather have with him. Not even the siblings who have training are as level-headed as he is when he needs to be. 

When Aether asks for something, it’s in his hand before the word is all the way out of his mouth. Dew’s warm fingers brushing his. 

As most birth’s go–it’s an arduous process. The snow piles up outside. Isla’s contractions get closer and closer together. Hours pass. Dew gets his shit together. He follows Aether’s orders. Not nearly as squeamish as he pretends to be. Keeping a close eye on Isla’s process as Aether flits around for IV’s and blood pressure machines, and a thousand other things. 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Isla says late in the game–minutes before Aether is going to tell her to start pushing. He’s exhausted his back hurts. Rae consoles her, pets her hair and tells her that of course she can. She shakes her head, vehement. 

“No. I can’t. I can’t be a mom. What am I doing?” 

Aether opens his mouth, not sure what’s going to come out, trying to find the right words despite his exhaustion. Dew places a warm hand on Isla’s knee and cuts him off. 

“Sure you can,” Dew says, soft, sure. “You’re doing this. This is fucking brutal. Being a mom can’t be worse than this.” 

And though Aether knows that isn’t true–Dew probably does too–it seems to take some of the edge off. Maybe just from the surprise of Dew actually butting in. But Isla looks at him, pain morphing her face, she laughs, bitter and relieved at the same time. 

“Yeah. This does suck a lot.” 

“See,” Dew squeezes her knee. “Just a few more minutes and this part will be over and then it’s the good part. You’ve got this. No backing out now.” 

Aether doesn’t know where those words come from. Dew who hates all children–ghoul and human alike. Who a few hours ago was about to tuck tail and run–to be out of Aether’s sight line for the first time in weeks just because this was about to happen near him. Saying shit like this? Encouragement? Enthusiasm. 

Determination settles over Isla’s face, she nods at Dew once. Sharp. And then turns her eyes to Aether. “I’m ready to get to the good part.” 

It’s quick after that. And before long Aether is handing Isla a screaming baby. It’s another hour before he can take a small break. The baby cleaned and swaddled, snuggled up with it’s mother. Rae resting fitfully in the chair while Isla stares at her baby. Aether leaves them to it and walks out into the lobby to find the sun rising. Pink hues casting over the floor. Blizzard over. The world outside the windows snow bright and fresh. He finds Dew at the nurses station, book in hand again, nose firmly in it. Brow creased. 

Aether kisses him right between where his horns would be and Dew looks up and over at him. Looking exhausted. Eyes fighting to stay open.

 “Hey,” he rasps, saving his place in the book and setting it on the desk. Aether brushes an errand strand of hair behind Dew’s ear. 

“Go back to your room. I’ll meet you there as soon as I switch with Omega.” 

Dew shakes his head. He leans his head against Aether’s bicep. “I’m good. I’ll wait.” 

“You’re going to have to detach from me at some point you know?” 

“Yeah. But not yet,” Dew shrugs. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” 

“Leech.” 

“Mmhm,” Dew nods. Eyes fluttering as he leans into Aether’s body. They’re quiet for a moment, the quiet only broken by a ragged cough from a room down the hall. 

“Thanks for staying–for helping,” Aether says softly. “I know that isn’t your thing but you really–”

“It wasn’t that bad.” 

“You going to tell me where all that sappy shit in there came from?” Aether teases, then sobers. “You were incredible, really.” 

Dew tips his head and opens his eyes, looking up at Aether with adoration that threatens to knock the breath from his lungs. He shrugs. “I mean. Just kind of thought of it like tour. Get the hard part over with. Get to the good part.” 

“This is the good part?” Aether cocks an eyebrow.  “You’re the good part.”

[adventuringblind]

I didn't know if you take requests but I have been thinking about this for a while. You are Scotty James younger sister and you meet Daniel while they are hanging out and you both like eachother and him and Chloe set you up. At first Scotty didn't agree but Chloe showed him that both of them are actually in love. I'm kinda seeing this with something with age gap, about 8 years (sorry if the grammar is not right, English is not my first language and I'm very tired because of school and stuff)

Atermoiememts

Genre: Fluff, Spice

Summary: Daniel is pining after his best friends younger sister. Drunken confessions lead to a black eye.

Warnings: drinking, sexual innuendo, and references, alluded to smut, Scotty throws hands

Notes: Sorry I haven't posted in a few days! I've been working on my master list, and I've had work and school to attend to. I can't believe I posted first daily since mid-July, and now I've finally slowed down. I'm so sorry for requests taking longer!!

Masterlist

Scotty James. Professional Snowboarder and protective older brother. Well, protective isn't the word he would use. Maybe loving? A wall between his sister and men who have poor intentions?

Chloe loves his sister. She is great friends with Lance. She gets along great with Daniel, his best friend, maybe better then he would like at times, but it's whatever.

She's the one who drags Scotty to more then half of the F1 races. Given he has time. She's obsessed.

Yet, Scotty can't help but think it's because of somebody specific on the grid. He's yet to figure out who. Max? Charles? She gets along with them well enough.

She spends to much time clinging to Daniel that it is probably scaring away the boys she actually likes! Not that Daniel is intimidating or anything. The guys smile is infectious. But it probably doesn't help her at all with getting the attention of the drivers her age.

~~~~~

Y/N James. Professional F1 enthusiasts. Sister to Scotty James. Annoying younger siblings to him but shy to everybody else.

She would like to add girlfriend of Daniel Ricciardo in there somewhere, but the backlash from her brother keeps her from saying anything. Plus, she's probably to young for him. A nine year age gap maybe isn't his thing. But he could help her out a but and stop flirting with her.

She knows it's teasing. It's sarcastic like with all of his friends. It's not like she's special or anything.

Her reason for wallowing in her thoughts? Chloe had just made her a third drink. The two are sitting on the couch in her and Scotty’s hotel room post qualifying. Daniel had a good session, so him and Scotty are out having mocktails.

"I see the way you look at him." Chloe wiggles her eyebrows suggestivley. Her legs are crossed on the sofa and she continues to take small sips of whatever she's drinking.

"And how would that be?"

"Like you love him."

The younger James eyes her suspiciously. How could have possibly outed her by just watching? Is she really that obvious?

"So what if I do? Not like anything is gonna happen." She shrugs.

"But he likes you too? I see it. His flirting is different with you."

"What? That fact he can and will describe in detail what he would do to me?"

"Don't lie!" Chloe shouts and playfully hits the younger on the shoulder. "You totally like it."

She can feel her face heating up but the alcohol has made her filter disappear.

"He really could do whatever to me. I'd let him."

"What if he wants you to call him daddy?" Chloe starts cracking up laughing.

"... I would."

~~~~~

Daniel Ricciardo. Formula 1 driver. Lover of Texas. The honey badger himself. Cannot for the life of him fix this stupid crush on Scotty’s younger sister.

He personally doesn't care about what the media has to say. But he does care about her and the backlash she would get. He'd hate to see her hurt just because he couldn't keep his feelings to himself.

And it really doesn't help that Chloe has been trying to get them together for weeks now. Months even. It's driving him insane. How is he supposed to keep up his playful flirting at this rate?

She's been shoving them onto awkward scenarios and leaving them alone together (much to Scotty’s dismay). Scotty picked up on something after the fifth encounter like that.

"Do you even like her like that?" He'd said while that ate dinner. It was just the two of them and Chloe.

"He definitely does!"

"I really don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Chloe, my sister would be into guys her age."

"And if her and Daniel did get together?"

"Then I owe you a date for being right and I'd punch Daniel."

The conversation left Daniel feeling both relieved and terrified. Scotty had made a valuable point, though. She's around the same age as Max and Charles. Two good-looking and kind men who he trusts. It wouldn't shock him if she went after one of them instead.

But if that's the case, why has she spent the entire night dancing with him? The music is blaring, and their cheeks are pink from the alcohol. Yet the feeling of her hips up against hasn't left since they got here.

His impulse control is lacking, and he doesn't know he's doing it until after. Doesn't know what he's implied or how she'll respond.

"Do you wanna get out of here?"

He mentally slaps himself for asking such a thing, but it's too late now. He can't take it back.

"That sounds nice."

And oh, how he melts. Her smile is his everything. Though with her reply, his is definitely bigger.

Daniel drags her back to his hotel room. Is a flurry of pent of emotions. Hands and lips explore to the point where their driver is probably annoyed.

In the hotel room isn't any better and they are both definitely under the influence.

"Maybe we shouldn't-"

"When was your last drink?"

Daniel thinks back. Already straddled over the top "two hours ago I think?"

"Same, i stopped when you did. So please don't think to hard about this. If I only get to do this once then I want to enjoy every damn second of it."

Something between love, adoration, and confusion passes through him. "What do you mean by that?"

"This is a one night stand, no?"

"It doesn't have to be."

"Not sure my brother would like me having a friends with benefits type of deal with his best friend." Her eyebrow quirks up in the lamplight.

"Fuck that's - that's not what I mean." Curse his lack of filter for heat he's about to say. "I love you. I have for so long but I didn't want to say anything."

She freezes, likely due to the shock of the statement. "I love you too, also for awhile now."

Yeah - every ounce of restraint he had before is gone. Clothes are shed in record time. He doesn't hold not one damj thing back.

"Let me show you how much I adore you."

~~~~~

To say Scotty is staring at Chloe is an understatement. He's glaring at her. "I've been played."

"Do you wanna go punch him now?"

It's eight in the morning and Scotty is throwing off the covers and marching to the door of their room. Sharing a wall with Daniel definitely wasn't the best idea.

He knocks aggressively. "Daniel! Open up!"

There's a bit of shuffling then the door swings open to reveal a sleepy eyed Australian. His eyes get wide when he realizes who it is.

"Look Daniel, I know you'll take good care of her. You're a good friend and a better boyfriend. But I swear to you if you ever hurt her I will not hesitate to knock your teeth out."

Daniel's shoulders sag in relief. His body relaxs. His sister standing in the entry way also does.

Then scotty swings.

But hey! If one black eye is all it takes to convince Scotty not to stalk Daniel's every step to protect his sister, then he'll take it.

[frownyalfred]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @lurkinglurkerwholurks

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 146! It would be a larger number if I hadn't deleted all of my Supernatural fics back in the day. There were at least 30 of those, maybe more...

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

913,163 - I'm hoping to hit a million soon!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Batman, Superman, Justice League, Star Wars, Marvel

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Take Care of Business Everybody Wants You It Was Always You a sky of honey Anything Like Me

5. Do you respond to comments?

Not anymore :/ I have a really hard time keeping up with writing if I'm responding to comments. I hope my readers understand.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably lonely town? Dick is getting de-fibbed in the alley by Bruce, and it's not clear if he's going to survive or not.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

here as I am is hilarious if you're into jealous!Clark. otherwise the weight (salmon ladder fic) always gets me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yep. Mostly on borderline, but on other fics too. I love how, as I've gotten better at writing, it's changed from "wow this sucks, your writing is awful" to "you suck because you chose to have [character] do this." Luckily I think most of the hate filters over here to Tumblr, where I can happily block and forget. These days, I mostly get people commenting about how I'm wrong about something. Wrong about something I researched and triple checked before posting...

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! All of them, I think? At least, I haven't balked at much yet. I'm not really into the excrement related ones, so I think that would be one of my no-go's.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yep! bloodletting (Mandalorian/Star Wars and DC Crossover) and a few Marvel/DC crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep, a few times. What I'm more pissed about is all of my textposts being monetized over on TikTok and IG. I could be making bank off of those, considering the reach. And several of them are basically mini-fics.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Tons. Check them out here. There's also some podfics and related works there.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I've made attempts but I'm really bad at it. I tend to write spur of the moment and follow my gut on where the conversation/action goes. Planning out a fic with a partner would do them a disservice, I think.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I really love Superbat, but Codywan is right up there with it. Something about Cody being a loyal BAMF soldier and long-suffering big brother gets me.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

My vampire AU. Not because I don't want to continue but I cannot decipher my notes as to what should happen next.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm very quick, I can type up a full draft in a few hours. I like natural, snappy dialogue and I think I'm good at it. I don't shy away from weird or uncomfortable situations. I'm comfortable with writing a lot of sex/etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I write too quickly, sometimes I get ahead of my plot. My dialogue and descriptions can sometimes be a little too bare, or I overcorrect and become too flowery. My fics take on the tone of whatever I'm thinking about at that time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If you're confident in your language abilities, go for it. If you're just plugging it into google translate, consider why you're doing that first. Is the addition of this new language actually something someone would say in that moment? Or are we just using it to signal to the audience that they speak another language? Is there a way to show this without telling? That being said, I love using Mando'a in my Star Wars fic, and I've studied it for a while now to be able to do so.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Probably borderline or a sky of honey. Both took a ton out of me and I'm proud they're whole and standing on their own right now.

---

I'll tag anyone who wants to play! Go wild.

[dollsonmain]

It came up in conversation how I'm often finding good BJD listings on eBay and how do I search in order to find things.

My main searches are:

bjd -ucanaan -toy -toys -popovy -recast -eva -doris -barbie -gift -changeable -removable -gifts -oueneifs -faiiry -ken

and

volks -azone -blythe -pullip

However, I've also excluded a lot of sellers that sell recasts.

To do that you have to go to Advanced search and scroll down to here:

and put in whatever sellers you don't want to see in your search results.

I just added one, so mine's:

jalpit,unlimitedcellular,lxlstech,jorge-dimensiones,femail007295c,wework-now-24-hours,the-real-deal-usa,noamsshop,usa-best-deal,caladhieltan,beautyforyou66,us-deal-monster,natalula,matthew--aceron,riprin-70

right now.

Probably better explained by someone else:

which is from here: https://community.ebay.com/t5/Ask-a-Mentor/How-to-block-a-seller/td-p/33017351

I also set the first search to North America only because there's no "everywhere but China" option. China is where most of the fakes are coming from as of now. That does mean I miss out on a TON of listings, though.

That helps filter out recasters that don't disclose they're selling recasts and AliExpress junk.

The Volks search's results are much fewer so sorting through them isn't as daunting and I have that one set to worldwide.

Either way, afaik Facebook Groups is the most active place to buy and sell BJD right now? I'm not in any groups, though.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you please do TADC crew finding out little kid reader looks up to them

It's okay if it takes a while I just like found family type shenanigans

Role models (TADC cast x kid!reader) (platonic)

RUNS AROUND

Again I apologize if I dont answer many requests today, I think I may be sick

Or I have HELLA allergies rn

Regardless I feel not the best so uhuh

I see yalls requests I'm just a eepy guy today

OH ALSO ALSO I had a similar request with just jax so I'm paring these two up since it's the same concept! Hope that's alright with you two anons!

CAINE:

When he finds out hes going to brat about hes a dad/older brother/guardian to everyone who will listen.

"As a parental figure..." type shit before trying to do something for your own good

Gives you your own lil cane to match his, maybe does matching outfits with you

Probably calls you mini me if you start mimicking his behaviors and mannerisms.. very silly

POMNI:

A little confused, honestly! While zooble is vaguely annoyed by kids, pomni is vaguely uncomfortable around them. I mean, kids can be just so brutal, and lack filters, and and-! Did you just call her sis?

She kind of just goes. Still. Shes torn

Does she let you call her that or does she stamp it out now?

...

I think she would let you call her sis, she doesnt have the heart to break yours

Not many ideas here, shes visibly awkward around you at first, whether you notice is up to you, but she slowly eases into it and takes the older sibling role in stride

RAGATHA:

I've said it so many times but ragatha absolutely exudes older sister energy. So shes already a natural before you're even calling her the nickname. Is so touched that you look up to her and feel safe around her. Thats her whole thing, keep up everyones optimism (and also perhaps, by extension, her own). Likes making you lil stuffed animals

JAX:

At first he doesnt notice that you're copying him and mimicking his behaviors; from badly executed pranks to stamping your foot in mock frustration, you're copying jax down to a T... or at least, as best as you can, given you havent mastered the art of being a prankster asshole. But not to worry, jax is gonna take you under his wing. Double trouble. Chaos². Teaches you how to actually land your pranks. Sometimes uses you as "bait" to lure people in. Menaces...

KINGER:

Kinger is like a mix of caine and ragatha, I think. Kinger gives me dad vibes that I cant white explain, and no it's not just because of his age... said it a few times but he tells embellished stories to you.. noooo cuz imagine if you try to fit into the royal aesthetic with him, be it with you as a prince/princess or as a knight or whatever. I think that would be adorable. Takes you out to hunt for bugs and tucks you in a night with a story

As for how he feels about you looking up to him he would be so so honored, also does the "as a dad" thing like caine

Very silly

ZOOBLE:

I think Zooble would find kids annoying, but they're not going to go out of their way to be mean to a kid. Think tired older sibling with attitude. Now when zooble finds out you look up to them, it gives them pause. Them? I mean it's raretthat they hang out with you one on one, actually it's rare that they hang out with anyone one on one... honestly I think this just feeds the older sibling thing. Probably teaches you some sass as a bonding thing. Not much to be said. Zooble is just not too open to getting close to others <\3

"Haha someones getting chased...Wait that's my kid!!!" When you get caught up in something in a IHA, attempts to rescue you

GANGLE:

She finds out when you two are drawing together! Kids like art, right? If not she had the stuff to do arts and crafts! Imagine she finds out because you make a drawing of her, with it labeling her as the best. Oh this poor girl her little heart, shes crying! Not sad tears, dont worry, she just finds it adorable is all! Though I dont think the dynamic between you two would change much

[denaliwrites]

It's How I'm Made

Tenth Doctor x Genderfluid!Reader

Summary: The Doctor has been especially protective of you since your coming out, even willing to go to bat for you in the face of aliens that look like they could probably snap him in half. Can be read as a sequel to On the Brave Shit.

Soundtrack: YES MOM by Tessa Violet

Requests: Open!

Warnings: Enbyphobia. Misgendering. Anxiety.

"Do you really think you can stop me, little girl?" the alien in front of you taunted, and you hated that it worked, that you wavered, that you almost lost your grip on the pipe you were using as a makeshift weapon.

The alien laughed, rubbing salt on the wound.

"Oh, come on now," you heard the Doctor say from behind you. "You can't be that dull. I mean," he paused for effect, scratching the back of his head as he awkwardly shuffled closer, "that's obviously an adult human. And, also, he's clearly a man. I mean, look at him!" The Doctor motioned vaguely at all of you, with a knowing look shot to you before shifting back into a passive expression.

Your heart swelled, though, and with a new surge of confidence your grip tightened and you stood firmer, facing off the alien with a glare.

"Don't be ridiculous, this is obviously--"

"An adult human male, yes," the Doctor cut in, followed up with a dramatically exasperated sigh. "Really, you'd think an alien from a planet with sixty-seven genders would get it, wouldn't you?" he asked, turning to you.

You blinked. "Sixty-seven?"

"Oh, yes," the Doctor said cheerfully. "And, remarkably, none of them are 'male' or 'female.' I mean, they have a few that are close enough, at least in terms of what a human can wrap their head around."

"Oh." That explained why the alien in front of you seemed... like a guy? You thought, anyway.

"Could also be the perception filter," the Doctor commented absentmindedly. "Anyway. Apologize to my friend, please." You knew the Doctor well enough to tell when he was no longer making polite requests. When he was angry.

And by God, he was pissed.

The alien, luckily, seemed to catch onto that. It turned to you, bowing deeply. "My sincerest apologies."

"Oh. Er... accepted?" You weren't... really sure what to make of this whole situation. It wasn't every day you got misgendered by an alien from a species with sixty-seven genders yet couldn't seem to grasp the idea of gender presentation.

As if no transgression had passed, the Doctor effortlessly moved on with a grin. "Now, how about we get you home?"

After you and the Doctor had dropped the alien off on its home planet and you had met, by your estimate, sixteen and a half of those aforementioned sixty-seven genders, you leaned against the TARDIS doors while the Doctor flipped random switches on the console -- you swore it was different every time.

"Are you all right?" the Doctor asked suddenly, and it was only then that you realized there were tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Erm, y-yeah, I'm... fine."

He did not look convinced -- understandably.

"Listen, what that alien said --"

"Is that all people see when they look at me? A little girl playing dress up?" you asked suddenly, stopping the Doctor in his tracks. "Is that all I'll ever be?"

The Doctor looked so devastated for a moment before he cleaned up his expression and replaced it with his carefully curated neutral default.

"I thought--" You were cut off by a sob that you did your best to choke back. "I thought I looked so great today."

"Hey, now," the Doctor said, joining you at the door in a few long bounds. You stared up at him hopelessly. "You do look great," he assured you as he leaned against the door with you. "You look how you want to look, and that's what matters. Right?"

"Not if people don't see me as what I'm trying to be."

"Oh, there's no trying," the Doctor said. "You are what you are. Other people don't matter. Even I don't matter. The only person, or alien, or whatever, who matters is you."

The way he looked at you made your heart swell, but you still weren't entirely convinced.

"Do you feel masculine right now?" he asked.

"Not really," you answered honestly.

"... Right. Well. I should've expected that. Okay. Did you feel masculine before that alien said anything?"

"... Yeah," you answered, still honest.

"Then you're masculine. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Especially an alien from a species with sixty-seven genders and yet no concept of being a different gender than the one you were born as."

"Do they have trans aliens in that species?"

"Yes! That's why it's so baffling!" the Doctor sighed exasperatedly.

"Oh, so they're just.... like, a mega bigot," you observed with a laugh. The Doctor returned the sound, and the two of you dissolved into a fit of giggles that lasted way too long, yet not long enough.