#I'm physically and mentally exhausted typing this so it may not be the most well-worded

[egg04]

A small message for those who may need it. I know it's not much for everyone that comes across it, but for those this helps:

If you have a personality and/or psychotic disorder, if you're a system, etc. just reminder that nobody should make you feel ashamed for it. It's not your fault that way too many people, even those who claim to care so deeply about mental health, talk about it as something that makes a mind "evil by nature." It's not your fault that finding a place of genuine understanding is a game of luck for many.

You didn't choose your brain composition.

You're not bad for just being.

Just relaying a thing a friend said last year. While I am not comfortable specifying my experience, I will say that this was something I really needed at that time.

[endo-bunny]

Sit Down Now and Rest

-~-~-~-~-~-~

Description: You had anxiety and depression, and Tony and Bruce were more than happy with getting you anxiety meds the moment that you asked. When you stop taking your meds, your mental health plummets and spirals as well as your physical health, and everyone notices. Don't worry though, they're there for you.

Pairing: (Platonic) Avengers x Teen!Reader

Type: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, sickness, fainting, dizziness, taking meds(both medicated and just vitamins/iron supplements), dehydration, insomnia, depressive and hurtful thoughts, reader doesn't talk very much in this, nicknames(Kiddo, Kid, Hun)

Word Count: 1,627

Note: I may or may not have written this with too much of myself being present… But it's fine! I also wrote this at like 2 in the morning so it's kinda rough but I just needed to get this typed out so here ya go! Also, the characters might be kinda ooc because I haven't watched any marvel movies in a little while but I've been hyper focused on fics with them lately so yea. And I am working on my tlou and tech fics, it's just hard to find the motivation to write them, but don't worry, I'm working on em.

-~-~-~-~-~-~

You were quick to notice that you stopped taking your meds. You knew that they helped you, but you couldn't get yourself to start the habit of taking them again. You wanted to, most definitely, but you couldn't. Every day was the same. Wake up, look at your meds, contemplate taking them, saying you'll take them later, go train, eat, and then not take them.

You also stopped taking them at night too. You had even set alarms so that you'd remember to take them, but it didn't help at all. Natasha was the first to notice that something was up, being the closest one with you. When she realized that something wasn't quite right, she made sure to keep a close eye on you. She was quick to pick up how dizzy you looked when you'd get up, sometimes not even being able to stay standing before you crumbled back onto the couch. You'd always play it off as if you just lost your footing but she and everyone else knew that that wasn't the case.

One morning you had gotten up much later than you had recently been getting up. When you checked the time, it was around two in the afternoon. You got up and went to the kitchen, feeling extremely hungry after forgetting, and also just not wanting dinner the night prior. When you arrived in the kitchen, Tony was there. He had kind of taken up the father role in your life.

The moment he saw that you had finally arose, he was quick to make a snarky comment in good fun, “Ah! The beast has finally awoken from their slumber, now off they go to find their beauty.”

You only roll your eyes, ignoring him. You felt exhausted, even though you got close to ten hours of sleep seeing as you fell asleep around 4 in the morning. You couldn't find anything easy to fix or that looked appetizing in the fridge or pantry so you just opted for a bottle of water that you would only take a sip or two of then leave with your other five almost full water bottles on your nightstand.

Before you could go back to the confines of your room, Tony had to ask you a question, “ Hey kiddo, did you take your meds?”

The question caught you off guard, not expecting him to ask seeing as he hasn't asked in a real long time.

“Oh yea! I, um, took them earlier but fell back asleep. Yea, that's what I did!”

You try to make it seem like you weren't lying through your teeth, but weren't very successful because of how exhausted you were. However, before Tony could confront you, you book it to your room. You hide there for the rest of the day, not coming out for Dinner. Steve had come by to tell you that dinner was ready but you told him that you weren't very hungry as you just kept your

on the book that you had your nose in. You kept your light on all night, not feeling tired.

The next morning, Nat knocked on your door around eight, coming to get you so that you could train with her. When she opened your door, she saw you laying on your back staring up at the ceiling. You looked exhausted and had dark circles under your eyes. When Bat opened the door, you flung up in surprise. You hadn't heard her knocking so you weren't expecting for the door to randomly open. You couldn't tell who it was at first because your vision went fuzzy black as your body tried to accommodate the sudden movement that you caused. Nat waited for you to acknowledge her.

When you did after a couple seconds, you looked over at the time, confused. It had just been two the last time you looked at the clock. How could it be eight all of the sudden? You were brought out of your thoughts by Natasha trying to talk to you. You zoned back in, giving her a questioning look.

“I said, are you ok? You look exhausted Hun. I came by to get ya to come train but it looks like you need to rest for a couple days.”

“Oh! No, I'm fine. Just give me a couple minutes to get ready and I'll be down and we can get to work in no time!”

She gave you a skeptical look but nodded, closing your door behind her.

When you got down to the training room, Bucky and Steve were there with Natasha. They smiled upon seeing you walk in. However, Bucky and Steve's bright smiles dropped upon looking at your figure. You were slouched, tired eyes not fully open and your eye bags were extremely dark.

Bucky was the first to point it out, “Hey Kid, you ok? You aren't looking too good.”

You only shrugged, your body aching and your throat feeling scratchy and sore for some reason.

As you're sparring with Natasha, you continuously have to stop the match because you go into coughing fits. As finish with your last coughing fit you go back to Natasha, but she's packing her stuff up.

“Wait, where are you going?” You're voice comes rather harsh and rude as you ask the red head.

“I think you should rest for the rest of the day Hun. I'll come check on you in a little while. But go take your meds and also some cough syrup and eat something.”

You didn't say anything as you grabbed your stuff and walked back to your room. This was stupid. It was just a little cold. You can still fight. You need to train. Deep down though you knew you needed to listen to her and do as she said. In the end, you don't. You go back to your room, take a sip or two of water, get a small snack and then sit down in the living room with a book.

You try to read it, but you can't stay focused for long enough to. Your mind is spiraling and racing. You kept replaying how training went. You were so pathetic. And rude. How could you be so rude? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You slam the book down onto the sofa, huffing.

You hadn't noticed that some of the others had joined you in the living room. They look up at you, surprised. They weren't used to seeing you like this. You tried to get up quickly, wanting to get away from this embarrassing situation.

The moment you get up, the world goes black, buzzing and ringing is the only thing you can hear as you collapse. You feel something picking you up and setting you down on the couch. You blink your eyes a couple times, slowly feeling sensation being restored in your body. You look around you and see that Bruce is coming over with a damp cloth and water. Nat has your head resting in her lap and Tony has your hand in his. They all look worried as they stare down at you. You hear gasped as Steve and Bucky walk in.

Questions are being thrown at you, too fast for you to comprehend. You instinctively put your hands on your ears, feeling overwhelmed. They all quiet down upon seeing this. Tony is the one to ask the questions from then on.

“Hey, it's ok. We're sorry, didn't mean to overwhelm ya like that. Can ya sit up?”

You nodded, feeling embarrassed now. Tony nodded and Nat helped you sit up, allowing you to lean against her.

“Ok, drink some water, you're ok,” Tony hands you the water that Bruce had brought over as Bruce is wiping your face with the cold damp cloth.

“Ya feeling better?”

“Ya, I'm fine.”

“Have you been taking your meds, kid?”Tony doesn't hold back, knowing what it looks like when you don't take the meds that have been helping you produce what your body needs.

You sheepishly look down at your hands that are fidgeting in your lap. You inhale sharply before shaking your head no.

They all sigh, Natasha being the one to talk this time, “Why haven't you been taking your meds, Hun?”

“I-I just don't want to… I don't like the feeling.”

They looked at each other, wondering what to say. As they look at each other, you go to stand up, but they make sure that you don't get up.

“Sit down now and rest,” Bucky's voice comes from behind you, his hands still on your shoulders.

“I'm sorry…” Your voice comes out in a whisper.

“You're forgiven kiddo, but ya gotta start taking your meds again.” Steve comes over and sits on the other side of you as he speaks.

“I know.”

“How bout I take my medication with ya? God knows that I haven't been taking it as much as I should be,” Tony chuckles as he tries to negotiate with you.

You didn't know if it would actually help you but you were open to the idea.

“Good, drink some more water. Now what do you want to watch? Hm? TV's all yours,” Tony stood up, giving you the TV remote as everyone decided to sit down on the couch.

You picked your comfort movie as you snuggled up with Steve and Nat. Tony had gotten you some actual food, and by the time the movie was over, you had drank all the water, ate all the food, fell asleep, and almost everyone else had fallen asleep as well. You felt safe with the people that cared about you all around you. You knew that this would be a journey, but you also knew that you weren't alone.

-~-~-~-~-~-~

Tag list: @fakegingerrights @macchiato-dreaming22 @silnebula

[spikesbunny]

MOON ANON RETURNS MWUAHAHAH anyways haiii I hope you're doing well :33

i return with requests....... soft n sweet gf like before (i know it's repetitive don't @ me) but. Soft n sweet gf that wants to be tough like those around her but just kinda isn't-- she asks s/o's to train her and gets upset that she isn't as strong as they are but they reassure her and tell her it's OK, her strengths lie elsewhere

Im thinking...... this with Spike but also also. Arlecchino. I have a big fat crush on them both I know it's multifandom but aaaa 😭😭

-🌙

+ wc: 0.3k

+ ft: spike spiegel & arlecchino (separate!)

+ note: WELCOME BACK 🌙ANON!! i'm doing pretty good actually, and i hope you are too 🫶 also omg do not worry about bein repetitive, i loveee soft n' sweet gf as much as you do <33

spike is the type to try and coach you physically. he'll invite you to train with him, starting slowly, before building up time and endurance.

he knows you wish you could contribute more, and be more helpful on missions than simply babysit ed and ein, and he wants to help you out.

he'll show you how to shoot, how to punch and kick, and even self defense methods. but he knows it's hard for you, trying to learn such physical and draining skills quickly.

so he paces you, building each skill brick by brick, piece by piece.

and he knows you get overwhelmed and upset if you aren't as successful as him, or learn as quickly as you wish. so he's gentle with you. a small reassuring kiss her, a soothing back rub to let you know that it's fine, it'll take some time. he even offers to massage your sore and achy muscles.

arlecchino, on the other hand, is more on mental toughness. working with the fauti isn't just physically draining, it's mentally exhausting. the constant bickering, the petty arguments, and the bullshit each member gives.

she'll teach you her methods to push them out of her brain, to dull their voices. give you tips on concentrating more on you than them. she'll provide you different ways to calm yourself down after getting into a dispute with them, knowing you start to blame yourself.

and she knows, she knows how you wish you could be as mentally strong as her. and she promises to help you.

and even if her techniques don't click right away, you try your best. and she knows you do, and she's always there during the conferences, reassuringly rubbing your thigh or squeezing your hand under the table.

she may not seem like a big one on physical affection, but for you, she didn't mind showing some hidden displays.

and even though her words weren't as sugar coated as most would, you knew she genuinely cared behind each riddling compliment and praise.

©2024 spikesbunny - please do not repost or translate my works on other media sites ♡

[clairelsonao3]

📖 WIP (Re)Intro and Masterlist: Good Slaves Never Break the Rules

NOTE: As of December 2024, GSNBTR is hidden on Ao3 as I prepare to publish NEVER BROKEN, Book 1 of THE UNCHAINED. All previous bonus content will remain on Ao3 and Tumblr, however! Sign up for my newsletter at Everlyclaire.com for all future free content!

Genre(s): M/F Romance, Slavery Whump, Alt-History

Target WC: ~200K?

Rated: M for mature. NSFW. Only intended for those 18 and older.

Summary

Louisa Phillips, daughter of a once-rich family in an alternate version of our world where slavery is an institution, is scrambling to save her university scholarship before she’s thrown out on the street. The only one who can help her is the nameless golden-haired slave downstairs, who, despite his surprising knowledge of organic chemistry, is stuck scrubbing toilets and building fences for her father.

Amid intense study sessions and long nights full of secrets, his wounded amber eyes, rippling whip-scarred body, and infuriating boldness draw her in like a lightning rod. But she’s forbidden from even being touched by him — as if there's any way she can stop at a touch.

The boy may have been whipped and beaten a thousand times, but it didn't stop him from pulling the strings to get here, find his missing sister, and take his revenge on those who stole her away. And though the last thing he needs is an attachment, if he has to use his master’s spoiled daughter to get that revenge, fine.

Except — damn — Louisa’s far from spoiled. She has a heart, and she’s learning to be brave. But as the two of them continue to collide, the only question is when they'll ignite their world — and whether they can help each other pick up the pieces when they do.

General CWs (these are NOT exhaustive): Institutionalized slavery, physical abuse/whump (the majority guy whump -- unfortunately for him! -- and a comparatively small amount of lady whump, with both male and female whumpers), consensual smut including light dom/sub, sexual assault of a male by a female, dehumanization, forced to watch, attempted rape/noncon and references to rape/noncon; references to underage sex, child sex abuse, and underage sex trafficking/exploitation; references to past kidnapping and murder; addiction and mental health issues.)

NO ABUSE/NONCON IS BETWEEN THE MCs. This is not that type of story. In fact, I like to think of this as a slavefic that has much more in common with mainstream romance than it does with most slavefics you might have come across. (In other words, it's a slavefic for people who think they don't like slavefic.)

Other tropes and elements, major and minor: Mutual pining, strangers to lovers, forbidden/secret love, touch her and die, forced proximity, medium burn, sexual tension, flirtatious banter, physical and emotional hurt/comfort, angst, LGBTQ+ rep, found family, fluff, dark and light humor, light academia, scientific and literary themes and discussions, plot twists, mystery/thriller elements, and a guaranteed happily ever after.

The tags on Ao3 go into much further detail so please read them before diving in, as well as the notes before the story and any chapter-specific CWs, which should give you a very good idea of what to expect.

Vibes

Cages, whips, and shackles vs. fuzzy pink pillows, perfume, and jewelry boxes

"How dare you talk to me that way."

Oops, turns out Daddy's newest investment property is actually a person — a really attractive person

Stealing glances and forbidden touch

Light academia in the desert

Power dynamics shifted and played out in the bedroom

Discovering new aspects of sexuality

Cactuses, mountains, palo verde, hummingbirds

Rocket science and chemistry labs

Gambits and speed chess

Shelves full of hardcover classical literature

"I don't need your help."

Eyes opened to the cruelty of the world

Red brick campus buildings among palm trees

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

Desert wildflowers pressed into chemistry textbooks

Short, sharp shocks of pain

"I know what you want."

Burned, bruised, and bloodied hands

"How can we ever have a future?"

Learning to trust, confessing traumatic memories and showing scars

"You plan, I execute."

Forced to choose between everything you ever wanted and the person you love

Series

This is the first in a planned romance series, tentatively titled NEVER BROKEN, set in the same universe and starring different but connected characters.

Masterlist

At least until it's complete, the main story will remain exclusively on Ao3, but starting in October 2023 (and coinciding with my first Whumptober), I started cross-posting some selected GSNBTR bonus content on Tumblr, featuring the two MCs seen through the POVs of secondary characters and new characters.

These stories can also stand alone as they require no knowledge of the main work.

Aveline

A slave girl wistfully recalls an afternoon she spent with her master's son.

From the Moment I Could Talk, I Was Ordered to Listen (Whumptober Day 26)

A renowned professor of chemical physics visits a discount slave auction, looking for something very specific. But what he finds there is not quite what he had in mind.

With a Guarantee of Company (Whumptober Day 30)

A slave girl is caught in a compromising position with her master's daughter's crush and is forced to pay the price for it.

Tag

GSNBTR for responses to tag games, answered asks, teasers, art, and other miscellaneous content related to the story and its characters. Someday I hope I'll get around to cataloguing it all here.

[azuras-bookcase]

the fact that I devoured this and yet couldn't formulate a proper reply since the dawn of time is a crime punishable by damnation to eat artichokes for a whole week... better late than never I suppose... do forgive me squishmeow...

DAZAI. AWFUL. look at him using your pregnancy as a means to slack off from work... then again. he probably uses you to slack off in general, accusing you of seducing and distracting him so he can't focus on his work... at least it's good that he's flirty as ever so you don't feel bad about the changes in your body...

CHŪ MY BELOVED... HE'S SO PRECIOUS TO ME I'M SOBBING... the fact that he thinks he can't believe he's getting a real family, his very own family, even, is so very sad, so is the fact that he thinks that he doesn't deserve something as wonderful as that... he deserves nothing less... he deserves happiness above all... gnawing on Mori's bones for sending him away as frequently as ever... horrible man, cut the father-to-be some slack... THE PM FAMILY HELP MY MEOW MEOWS I LOVE THEM SM.... Kōyō seems like she'd pick the best maternity dresses and the like, perhaps even comissions some custom made ones made from the most comfortaable fabric available, making sure that they are extra convenient like. pockets and straps and easy to put on and take off... Tachihara would be the errand boy for the pregnancy cravings, shooting up from his seat the moment you even ponder if you're craving this or that to get you both... Hirotsu not only makes for good, calm company (especially good when your hormones are raging and you're emotionally unstable HAHAHS) but I'm pretty sure he'd make the best nanny, too... he also feels like he'd quit smoking for a while, at least around you or when he knows he'll spend the day with you... Gin and Higuchi would also support you the best they can, physical and mental support alike... now that I think about it not only the pregnancy would be super comfortable but the first few months after the baby is born as well, since the baby would have so many trustworthy nannies and backup backup nannies meaning you and Chūya can get some sleep occasionally... ALSO. Chūya seems like the type to hug you from behind and lift your belly up when you're quite far along to take some weight off your back (literally)... either with his own strength or with his ability... NOT THE SELF SACRIFICAL WORDING PLEASE... no one is sacrificing anyone... is he planning on widowing you and leaving a signle mother behind... stinky...

MY HUSBAND MY HUSBAND HE'S SO!!!!!!!!!!!! THE JOY AFTER GETTING OVER THE DISBELIEF AND THE KISS AND. HE'S SO PRECIOUS... HELP???? NOT HIM WANTING TO KEEP ME AROUND ALWAYS... I appreciate the thought but it would be so exhausting to get up so early and go to the office with him every day, so unfortunately not... he should work from home instead if he's so concerned... he may leave for important meetings... ALSO. being pregnant as Fukuzawa's wife means. ADA family... big bro Ranpo... one of the rare occasions he shares his snacks with you... !!!!!!! I honestly wouldn't be distressed at all if he had to leave my side for whatever reason... both Kunikida and Yosano are more than capable enough to take care of me... HAHAHS I've seen Kunikida taking care of that kitten once and I just know he'd be a good caretaker... he probably goes full on chinese confinement during or after birth, too... ''Wear these socks, you must keep warm. No chores or work of any kind. You can't carry heavy things, just call me if you need anything. You're also forbidden from watching or engaging with anything that will stress you out.'' HAHAHS time to be a lazy cat and be taken care of meticulously...

FYODOR!! AS HE SHOULD... I knew it... he does give off the vibe of someone who'd know more than the doctor when going to your regular appointments with you (or getting you checked in at home with him present)... strict yet soft and somewhat indulgent... peak husband behavior... HELP HAHSHS JUST IMAGINING IVAN TRYING OUT PREGNANCY YOGA WITH YOU IS SO FUNNY... as he should... a sweetheart (not by choice)...

POE???????? A WHOLE SWEETHEART HELLO??? a pocket dimension sounds amazing honestly... he could create some kind of wonderland or a tropical place or a literal paradise for you to stay in safely... THE SNACKS AND EVERYTHING HELLO?? he's surprisingly a solid choice of a man to take care of you when pregnant... filthy rich and attentive and a whole sweetheart...

Nikolai too is surprisingly a sweetheart, at least during your pregnancy... HAHS good for him for validating your odd choices of snack combinations... an entirely new side of him has emerged, it seems...

SIGMA THE POOR MEOW MEOW HE'S SO STRESSED.... him having not one but two people he loves and must protect is as sweet as it's stressful for him... more study time is added to his daily schedule, planning for everything that can happen during or after your pregnancy, like a roadmap or flowchart... he wants to be prepared for everything...

JŌNO TOO... surprisinly a sweetheart... him being so loving and doting on you is so sweet, actually... HAHAHS him not even taking into account threats from outside... he knows no one can touch you with him around (or without, really. he's fast.), as he should... MOVING PRIVILEGES YOINKED... you may not do anything ever... leave it to him... something tells me he'd materialise out of thin air to open up a jar of peanut butter for you if you were struggling...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER MY HUSBAND!!!!!! MY BELOVED... another husband has been added to the roster I see... the first time I saw his name I squealed... wasn't expecting him at all... PLEASE HE'S SO SWEET?!?!?!? DYING. YOU'RE MAKING ME SO RIDICLOUSLY SOFT FOR HIM... I truly wouldn't expect him to be around so much, busy as he is, but him taking days off and trying to spend as much time as possible with me gets me tearing up, honestly, and it's not even the pregnancy hormones that trigger the waterworks... I love this old man too much honestly... I hate you for the gift of prophecy.... ''haha, a lover from DOA next'' -''NO'' ''yes.'' and it happened. awful. ebil. cuddling him and his stupidly warm and comfortable self always... he also seems like the type to lift the heavy belly to relieve some pressure off your shoulders, either because he read it somewhere or someone told him to, or simply because you asked... and in true influential lover fashion, it's a buy one get four for free... the hunting dogs are suddenly all guard dogs...

୨୧·࣭࣪̇˖ 𝆬  pregnancy headcanons𝆬 𓏸

feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Fukuzawa, Fyodor, Poe, Nikolai, Sigma, Jōno, Fukuchi

content: f!reader, pregnancy and related symptoms, soft....

If you truly believe that DAZAI is anything but awfully flirty during your pregnancy, you're wrong. He constantly mentions just how gorgeous and breathtaking — or, in certain situations, outright hot — you look, making sure that you never have any reason at all to feel insecure about yourself, even if you gain quite a lot of weight. Like he cares; he's fond of all women, after all, but especially you, and, in his eyes, it's impossible for you to be anything but beautiful.

That also means, though, that he won't keep his hands off you, constantly fondling your now larger chest, your hips and stomach and everywhere he can reach, really. Deep down, he doubts he'll make for a good father, though he's determined to try his best for the sake of your small family. This includes shedding his usual lazy attitude and helping you with household chores, as well as laying off the alcohol, hopefully.

“You're terrible, bella. Honestly awful — how am I supposed to get any of those papers done when you're next to me, looking this irresistible? It's like you're trying to set me up for failure. Ah—, but I'm sure Kunikida will understand if I take a small break, hm? Get over here, darling.”

CHŪYA suddenly spoils you even more than he did before the announcement of your pregnancy, though, really, he's just awfully overjoyed. The thought of actually getting a child with you, a true family, still seems surreal to him, like a situation out of a dream rather than something that can happen in reality and, for a moment, he wonders whether he's deserving of something this wonderful. Unfortunately, he's rather busy, but, naturally, he makes as much time to be with you as somehow possible, rolling his eyes at Mori whenever another oh so “urgent mission” comes up.

To make up for him occasionally not being home, you get Kōyō, as well as Higuchi, Gin, Hirotsu and Tachihara who make sure to constantly keep an eye on you. Even if you're simply going out to get some ice cream, one of them accompanies you — and, luckily, they make for surprisingly great friends. While Chūya's life style, being a dangerous ability user who works for the Port Mafia, isn't the safest, he's fairly content that he'll be able to protect you and your child from any harm whatsoever — he'd give his life for yours, after all.

“Hm? I'm not mad. I just—, not at you, at least. I wanted to take ya out on a proper nice date tomorrow, made a reservation and everything, though the Boss just assigned me some apparently important mission. Yeah, I know. Sorry, sweetheart. I'll make it up to you, yeah? Ah, it's already paid for, though. You can take Kōyō or Gin, if you like. They should be free tomorrow. Sorry. I love you.”

FUKUZAWA never felt for anyone as strongly before as he now does for you, meaning he never imagined himself to eventually grow old surrounded by a loving family, with a partner and a child, even. It sounds too perfect to be true, not like a situation that'd fit into his current life, and yet he finds himself overjoyed after overcoming the initial disbelief, his smile dripping with love, with affection as he gently meets your lips in a kiss, arms immediately curling around your body to hug you close.

During the pregnancy, he's all the more protective of you, unwilling to ever leave your side. If things went his way, you'd accompany him to the Agency's office in the morning and would leave in the evening together with him, though he admits that he sees why that might be a tad boring. He simply aches to keep an eye on you, worried about what might happen to you when he's not around, though several Agency members assure him that they, too, will keep an eye on you.

“I'm afraid I can't accompany you today, dear. I'm sorry. An urgent meeting came up, but I'm sure Kunikida or Yosano would join you. Alright? We'll go there together next time. Just— be safe, yes? I trust you're in good hands. Still, don't hesitate to call me if anything happens.”

You best believe that FYODOR has made sure to inform himself as much as humanly possible about pregnancies the moment you announced that the multiple tests you did are positive. While he's the slightest bit strict when it comes to topics such as what you should and shouldn't consume, as well as anything else related to the yours and baby's health, he naturally makes sure to completely indulge most of your cravings, too — when you're the one to bring new life into this world, who is he to forbid you from having another pastry or a second bowl of ice cream?

He's so very gentle in everything he does, carefully caressing your stomach before cupping your cheek and pressing a soft kiss to your lips, his smile warm, like he can't believe his hands, tainted ones, are allowed to hold something this pure, this holy. It's safe to say that you've always had multiple security guards hovering around you to ensure your safety, though, now, Ivan makes sure to tend to your every need, too, often bringing you the meal you're aching for or even trying out silly yoga techniques for relaxation with you.

“Ah, now—, careful, dear. Allow me to get that for you instead — you should call for Ivan when I am not around. You mustn't overexert yourself. I would hate for you to hurt yourself. Simply sit back and relax, will you? .. Please, for the sake of us, of our family. It won't matter in the long run whether you or someone else got a snack for you, but it will matter if you climb atop a shelf, fall and hurt yourself gravely. Yes?”

POE honestly does not quite believe his ears when you first mention you're pregnant. When you end up showing him the positive test, however, his smile is blinding, the most sincere one he's had in what feels like ages. He, unfortunately, is the type to worry; while he's still more than delighted, he's almost tempted to create a pocket dimension in a book for you where you'd be safe and cared for, though he has to stop himself from doing just that. It'd be a little overbearing.

Given how he's more than wealthy, you don't have to worry about anything at all. Whatever you crave, it's yours immediately — as fast as premium online shipping works, that is —, whether it's new clothing to accommodate your changing body, furniture for the child's room, certain snacks only available in a foreign country; anything, really. He also makes sure to constantly check in on how you're feeling, asking multiple times every few hours and, when he's not home for whatever reason, he leaves you a surprisingly large amount of text messages, telling you to call him immediately if anything feels.. odd.

“Are you experiencing anything like cramps? Nausea, perhaps? No? That's a relief. Ah, I just—, that's merely what it said on the Internet, symptoms that could happen. I'm relieved if you truly are alright for now.”

Usually, NIKOLAI is a force to be dealt with. He's unpredictable, mood changing quickly, his smirk wide and his eyes sharp, though, once you tell him you're pregnant, he's surprisingly gentle in the way his hands move to rest on your stomach, his revealed eye sparkling with joy as he coos at the barely visible bump as if the baby is able to hear him. He keeps carefully running for once bare hands over the stretched skin, telling the child stories and that you're both excited to meet it; anything that comes to mind, really.

If you get odd food cravings during the pregnancy, he's not afraid to supply you with whatever you want, as well as to try them out with you. Perhaps ice cream with hot sauce and pickles will be a new family dessert; he's anything but scared of new possibilities.

“Ah, what are you having, doll? Allow me to try, please? Hm? I'm not stealing from you; now, now, don't be mean—, alright, alright. I admit defeat. At least let me say hi to our sweetheart then, yes?”

The moment SIGMA learns that you're expecting a child, his child, he's ecstatic. He'll make sure you have everything you might want or need, ranging from all kinds of different snacks you could possibly crave to a personal masseuse if you're feeling sore. The more your bump starts to show, the more often he can't help but rest his hands on your stomach, gently caressing, or even pressing soft kisses to it. There's nothing that gets to him more than the idea of having a family with you.

Despite his initial joy, he's another one who's prone to worrying and overthinking, his warm smile making way for a deep frown when he knows you're not looking. He borders on overprotective with how much he keeps an eye on you, even more so than usual, given how, now, he has two loved ones to protect, not just one anymore and, oh, he's admittedly stressed, constantly thinking that something might happen to you, to the baby.

“How are you feeling, love? Is everything alright? Promise you'll tell me if you feel anything odd, yes? I'm not worried. I just don't wish for anything to happen to you or the baby. Alright, I'm admittedly the slightest bit worried, but I really can't help it. I love you, after all.”

JŌNO honestly never expected to ever have a child of his own in the first place, meaning that the knowledge of you being pregnant is something he needs to process for a bit first. Nonetheless, he's happy, of course. How could he not be? It's an odd thought, one he'll have to get used to first, but, in general, it's a pleasant one. Naturally, his job comes with some dangers for you and your future

He's protective by nature, having found pleasure in saving people rather than torturing them, and you're no exception. Seeing you smile, knowing that you feel safe with him is the best feeling he could ever ask for, though his desire to protect you from all harm quickly gets overwhelming. It's less harm from outsiders he fears — he deals quickly and efficiently with criminals, thank you very much —, but more you harming yourself, perhaps by tripping and falling when he's not around, resulting in him preferring to take every little task out of your hands. Oh, well.

“My, my, stay seated, dear. I'll handle this. Hm? I'm not treating you like you're fragile. I know you're not sick, merely pregnant; you mention it often enough. Still, is it so wrong for me to care for you? Yes, that's what I thought.”

FUKUCHI is a busy man. Really, being a war hero and the Hunting Dogs Captain — as well as Kamui, but perhaps that's not something for you to know about —, you'd expect him to be busy with work even while you're pregnant with his child, though that's far from reality. Instead of prioritising work and his reputation, he makes sure to come to every doctor's appointment with you, constantly by your side, and spends as much time as possible at home with you, one hand of his ever so often resting on your stomach, even when the bump is barely visible.

He claims he's able to feel the child's heartbeat already — whether that's true does not seem to matter, not when he's busy peppering your skin in kisses, smile never leaving his face as he wonders aloud whether it'll be a girl or a boy, what their name should be and if their eventual first word will be “mum” or “dad”; his bet is on “mum”, by the way, even though he pretends to be heartbroken by the idea, all too dramatic.

“You look surprised to see that it's me picking you up rather than some chauffeur, sweet thing. Why's that, I wonder? I already told you I'll accompany you to every doctor's appointment you have. The rest of the Hunting Dogs can cover me for one evening. I wouldn't miss this for the world.”

a part of this was a commission! thank you so much again! 💜 Also the idea of Ivan doing yoga with you had me giggling..

tags: @irethepotato @beandaifuku , @the-foreigner , @ranpobb, @arixsux, @dei-lilxc , @atsyushi @satoruislove @pastelsbaby @marina-and-the-memes @texchou @shiggysredhead @savagemickey03 @rosepxtlz @nikolaiswife @okura-s @ladykatakuri @lunerenzo @berywritesstuff @alice0blog @xelia25 @yuuotosaka3 @double-black-dazai @fyodorstolenushanka @ttaiyaki @itsnovariella @black-rose-29 @fyodorscumsock @ayshaashaya @qxxstuff @serenareiss @atsvsh1 @dilucshandholder @reiikonee @1-800-mocha

@xvocadooo @hexiisexii @cupxfcxffee @jodidann @Happymoon16 @yumidepain @nchuuyahq @janeinerz @Aaronthegreatestsimp @fanfiction-waifu @KimxKiba @Morigumy @villainouspotential @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @nikolaisgoofyahhhat @yeonwoomyheartbelongstoyou @hellgirlwhore @c4xcocoa @lyrstybsd @angelsrunes @wuaoqu @disa-ster @aspookyscaryghost @nikolaisboner @urgodmoon @polish-anon @arisu-chan4646 @eroscastle @somnobun @birbysaur @Senpaible @hyunlixie143 @dababyurmom @4nthonyyliving @Chxrry-doll

[surftrips]

Just My Type – Chapter One (Jay Halstead x woc!Reader)

Word Count: 931

Chapter Summary: Y/N is called down to the ER to assist Dr. Halstead and his detective brother Jay on a case.

A/N: Welcome to my first ever series! If you want to check out the full description of Just My Type, you can click here. Not a lot happens in this chapter since it is just the introduction, but I hope you decide to stay along for the ride :)

Also! Big thank you to Resa (@resanoona) for reading over this draft! If you’d like to be tagged in the next chapter, leave a comment or message me.

"Jay, I have to warn you. The patient isn't being very responsive, I'm not sure how reliable of a witness she'll be," your co-worker, Dr. Halstead said to his brother.

"Unresponsive, how?" Jay asked.

"Well, she's awake and alert, but she's been through some trauma. It's not going to be easy for her to open up."

"Can I at least try?"

"You can, but I don't want to risk causing a mental break or an anxiety attack for her. She's been through enough."

"Will, please. Is there any other way? She's the only person who can help us solve this case," Jay pleaded.

Dr. Halstead considered their options for a minute. "I suppose we could call Dr. Y/L/N up. She specializes in trauma patients and psychological disorders."

"Do what you have to do, anything that can help me get through to this witness."

...

"Dr. Y/L/N! You're being paged down to the ER!"

The psych wing at Chicago Med had been your home for many years, so you were no stranger to the occasional call down to the ER. Because of your speciality, you were most sought out for in cases involving the police and when Dr. Charles was busy.

As you headed downstairs, you were directed to Dr. Halstead, who you saw standing next to a man with a badge. "So, I was right about the police," you thought to yourself.

"Hi, Dr. Halstead. I was told you might need some assistance with a patient?" You greeted your coworker.

"Yes, thank you for coming down on such short notice. My brother Jay here is a detective with CPD and my patient was a witness to a case his team is working on. Unfortunately, she is their sole witness, but as you can imagine, she has been through a lot of trauma and I wanted your professional opinion on how we should go about questioning her," Dr. Halstead briefed you.

You nodded your head. "Alright, where is this patient?"

Dr. Halstead led you over to a woman sleeping in a hospital bed. She looked worn out and tired, not just physically, but emotionally. After years of experience, you had come to recognize the signs of mental exhaustion in a person. Still, you opened the door to the patient's room and began your preliminary evaluation of her.

"Hello," you looked down at the chart Dr. Halstead handed you, "Kate, is it?"

The woman in front of you nodded.

"My name is Dr. Y/L/N, but you can call me Y/N. I am a psychiatrist here at Med, and I understand that you have been through a lot today. What's happening right now, is your body is responding to trauma, but your mind may not be there yet. My job is to break down today's events so that you can process everything and help you begin to feel better. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Even though this woman was well into her late 20s or early 30s, you spoke to her as if she was a child. Many people respond to trauma by regressing into an earlier stage of development, i.e. childhood. You didn't want to overwhelm her with formal medical jargon in her delicate state of mind.

Once again, the patient nodded her head. You took a mental note that she was not yet responding verbally. It might take a while for her to get to that point.

"Alright. Let's begin. Can I ask you how you started the day this morning? Do you have a usual routine that you follow?"

...

"What is taking her so long?" Jay was pacing back and forth in the waiting room, waiting for you to wrap it up.

"Relax, Jay. Y/N is the best of the best, she knows what she is doing," his brother responded.

"I'm sure she does, but we've been hitting dead ends at every other lead. Do I need to remind you a dead father is involved here?"

"Look, Y/N knows what is at stake. She's worked with CPD before, this isn't her first rodeo. You just have to be patient with her."

"I'm trying my best."

"Well, so is she Jay."

As if right on cue, the door to your patient's room opened then and you walked out, preparing to bear some good news.

"Detective," you nodded at Jay, "Doctor," then nodded at your coworker, "You two are very lucky I'm good at my job. I managed to get Kate to recall to me her entire day, from start to the crime. The murder she witnessed was brutal, and I don't expect her to be fully okay for a while. However, I got what I deem to be a pretty reliable description of the offender—"

Before you could finish your sentence, Jay's arms were around you. "Oh my god, you're the best." You hesitantly hugged him back while eyeing your coworker, who looked equally stunned.

"I'm sorry, I've just been so stressed about this case and there's a lot of pressure from his family to find out who killed their dad..." Jay explained, but now it was your turn to cut him off.

"Don't worry about it, it's nice to be appreciated sometimes," you gave a half smile.

"Well, next time we need a psychologist, I know who I'm calling," Jay announced.

"Oh, that won't be me. I'm a psychiatrist," you clarified.

"Okay, whatever. I take my appreciation back," he joked.

And that was the start of a budding relationship— or, you meant friendship with Jay Halstead.

You totally didn't have a thing for him. Not even a little bit.

[unimpressedperson]

Diary Entry: The concept of resting

First of all, I've been clinically ill because of extreme exhaustion at least twice between 2019 and 2021. So, I cannot proudly announce that I have a healthy relationship with work, duties, etc. Actually, this one would be the biggest lie ever told by someone with a straight face.

Also, something else I'm slowly learning: how to rest.

As mentioned a few diary entries before, I'm insomniac and sleep less than can be considered enough - or vigorous. Basically, if I were to live in a reality where my physical integrity and security relied solely on how well I respected my circadian body rhythm, then I'd be one of the first to decease.

Not trying to be humorous about a serious subject, but I'd last less than warm water thrown under a snow storm.

So for the past months, I've been trying to decode how I function and the best ways to promote a stout resting pace. It's no longer a luxury to understand, but a requirement in order to improve my daily life.

I tested many ways of resting, including a bunch of different activities I don't feel keen to maintain or embrace.

A few activities I'm comfortable doing includes pilates, painting, sculpting with clay, diving deep into the philosophy behind different ways of gardening, cooking and improving my seitan preparing techniques.

Also, I learned that some genres of dance do not please me or help me at all, learning about stuff - directly or indirectly - related to work makes me even more exhausted, traditional meditating do not bring any inner peace of mind, crochet is also very stressing.

In that marathon in order to understand myself better and find ways of relaxing, I got to a point where I thought sleeping - yes, the most difficult of the topics - a lot, for over 10 hours, could help me with resting. Nonetheless, I was painfully wrong.

Sleeping, as ironic as it may sound, wasn't the answer after all.

The point for this diary entry is: there are different concepts behind the word "resting", as in relaxing, letting some of the accumulated steam off.

I guess in such an hectic reality, we've been convinced running nonstop and reaching exhaustion is the key for success. As working humans, rest and proper sleep are considered rewards, not a right guarantee for the body and soul.

The touch with love and affection towards our own humanity is being lost. We're aiming to become the kind of humans that cannot pass our own Turing test.

There are different concepts of resting and we should take some time every other day in order to embrace it. Physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, emotionally, sensory and creatively, they need different approaches.

I tried sleeping and doing nothing for weekends, slept over 15 hours for two days in a row and didn't feel any more recomposed than before, if something, deep down I was with the sensation of time lost - which was not the case, though, I needed that kind of rest and felt less burnout.

However, I learned that for the past year I didn't allow myself to exercise my creative muscles, not enough to feel it bubbling inside me. It affected my productivity and mental health.

Exercising different abilities or maintaining alive different hobbies can be a type of resting. Reading, meditating, creating or just staying still in order to absorb the ambience surrounding you.

You can only observe how filled with water the jar actually is when it's completely still, but the filling it up requires movement. That's how resting works for human beings.

Even if we live in a burnout society, it doesn't mean we cannot slowly change it for ourselves.

We are not machines, therefore we cannot work like machines, receive commands and restart once we jammed with information.

Also, feeding your mental health with a false and toxic "positive mindset" might make more damage than good, because most of the coaching methods of improving productivity and pushing forward exhausted bodies with restless souls, they are not created to open your eyes to the best aspects of being alive.

I'm sick and tired of listening that I should feel more gratitude, to relax more - but without letting go of the 30 different errands draining off my energy and making me work overtime, because it might backfire.

In the end, this burnout society - as described by Byung-chul Han - can be ruthless and hurtful, condemning of those tired of being tied to it, but the best method to detangle yourself from this mess is learning more about yourself.

Self-knowledge brings enlightenment and enriches the experience of being alive, even among the chaos.

Knowing how to rest is a nice and healing beginning.

[mrhrmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

Hiii could I please get bnha & haikyuu matchup? Preferably with males pls. My pronouns are she/her. I am 5’4, an ambivert and a Latina. My enneagram is type 4. I have pale skin, mid-length brown wavy hair with bangs, and hazel eyes. I am described as someone who comes off as cold or aloof when I’m around people I don’t know. After getting to know me, I am the complete opposite. I’m just a bit shy at first lol. My friends have told me that I give good advice but like to joke about my stubbornness. I like to make people laugh and try to make the best of any situation. However I have a hard time expressing my emotions. I’m also described as easy going and fun to be around. I also love animals especially dogs.

I am a hip hop dancer and love to perform. Dance to me is very freeing and I'm usually dancing anywhere anytime haha. I choreograph a lot as well. I also enjoy reading could vary from manga to non-fiction. I love music especially hip hop, rap, & reggaeton. I also love to write music/poetry. At one point I was composing 2-3 songs a day but lately I've lost my creative streak. I never show anybody though since I’m really shy about it. I'd love to one day tho! I can be playful and love to tease my friends. I also really like to eat and travel. I am a bit of a homebody but I enjoy hiking because of the exercise. I really enjoy having deep conversations. I can’t stand people who bully others and people who are fake. I like to be honest and helpful in any way I can. My style is usually anything comfy/casual and I don’t really like wearing skirts or dresses. I speak English and Spanish (learning Japanese & Portuguese). I would love to learn ASL and Hawaiian one day as well. I enjoy watching crime investigations, probably one of my favorite things to watch.

I don’t really any fears, just not being able to accomplish my goals/dreams. I tend to daydream a lot and I’m also a big procrastinator 😭. I'm usually in my head a lot which tires me a bit. Alone time for me is definitely important. I would say my love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I’m usually really cold towards the person I like lol. Only because I test the waters to see if I should spend time and energy on them. I tend to be a bit jealous/possessive, not in an unhealthy way though. Just wouldn’t match with someone who is very flirty with other people lol. What I look for in a partner is someone that is selfless, mature and has depth to them. Also if they are really accepting because I’ve never had that growing up. I'm a bit touch starved lol. Thank you so much 💖💗💕

tl;dr Hinata Shoyo thinks your really cool and supports your goals/you in general fully. Tamaki Amajiki thought you were scary at first, but once you warmed up to each other he ally admires you, and thinks your cute.

Hope this is alright, still new to the whole matchup thing:

Haikyū!!:

I give you…One Shoyo Hinata

He may not always be the most mature person, even in the Haikyū timeskip, but he makes up for it in other ways.

You would probably meet after his first year, probably sometime between end of his second-timeskip around 2018.

Really depends on where you are, I won’t go to into detail seeing as some people might not want spoilers, I will put any spoilers down below the cut at the end of this.

If it’s during high school still, you might be a new manager for Karasuno, or even the manager of another team they are having a practice match with.

Just some things��:

> would love that you can speak multiple languages, he thinks it’s so cool that you can communicate to all kinds of people, and he’d probably ask you to teach him a little bit as well

> he probably wouldn’t care if you were ever distant/cold, he understands that it takes time for people to warm up to each other, (Kageyama, Kenma even, good examples there)

> if you told him/he saw/you showed him your dancing, he would probably be open jawed thinking stuff like “that- is so freaking cool!!!” yeah- mental exclamation marks.

> if you showed him how to do a couple moves? amazing, he’s gonna brag and go show his teammates tomorrow at practice what he learned how to do

> sometimes he can be a bit energy draining, but if you tell him you need alone time? he understands completely and will give you your time (might be a bit impatient in waiting for you to send him a message saying hi but he respects that all fully.)

> this dude would be so freaking supportive of you- I will go more on this below the cut for manga spoilers- but he’d just think your one of the coolest people ever

> if you do warm up to him, and decide “this is alright” he’d smile so big and just- hug you so tightly because he’s so happy you feel comfortable around him

> being the kind of person he is, he totally understands you wanting to pursue your dreams. he’d support you, your hobbies, all of it.

> if you told him about your song writing + that you’ve been a bit out of it in your writing he would beg you to let him read or hear some of your work (if you said no he’d understand but he’d still in his mind hope someday maybe you would), he’d ask if you wanted him to try and give you some inspiration, his first answer being “Volleyball!”

> he’s so freaking cuddly once he knows if your comfy with that, he’d hug you, hold you hand, all of that

> start of your relationship he’d definitely be blushy and a bit shy (girls though amiright?)

> he’d watch crime shows with you for sure, he might not share the same love for them, but he loves to cuddle up with you to watch them, he might play with your hair, he just likes to be near you to be honest

> he just thinks your freaking cool and really pretty

BNHA:

Ah hmmm…I give you one Tamaki Amajiki?

Its quite the flip around from Hinata but hear me out….

You are probably also a hero-in-training. You might training to be a more rescue based hero, knowing multiple languages you’d be good at containing a scary situation/containing the crowd. Good at calming people down to evacuate or get to safety..

When you meet to be honest he thought you were scary, shivering in his shoes,

as he gets to know you though, whether it’s from observing you or because Mirio or Nejire have tagged you along with them so he had no choice really-

he finds your not all that scary! The other too can be exhausting so you might drift off towards him for a chiller vibe…

Just some things:

> you’d probably bond over food a bit, and both having the want to stick up for others, (or a dislike for meanies).

> it would take a while for you Both to warm up to each other much/fully, but when you do its quite great

> A slower relationship for sure I think, even once your both more comfortable with each other, not a whole lot of affection at first though

> if you first initiated any affection (verbal or physical), he’d probably be a blushing mess, don’t worry though, he finds it easier to show not tell, so once you’ve talked about it to each other and he’s gotten reassurance from his friends, he’d probably be much more affectionate

> probably lots of comforting, cuddles, not a lot of public affection- he’d rather keep it behind closed doors. when your alone he loves to hold you hand or just pat your head, mostly small things but baby steps matter

> if you tell/show him your dancing he might be intimidate, he’d think it’s cool but he’d definitely have a little bit of a mindset about you like he does with Mirio, he loves and supports your dancing fully though

> same with your writing- if you showed him he would probably think “oh well now i have to add to my list of reasons my s/o is amazing.”

> food dates + movies/tv shows probably, he’d watch crime shows with you, he thinks they are interesting, he mostly loves the look on your face when your doing/watching something you love

> definitely lots of comforting him when he’s anxious

> he likes it when you speak in languages he doesn’t speak, he also likes to try and mentally guess what he thinks your saying

> you both need your alone time, so he gets that and respects your space, he hopes you’ll do the same

> he really understands your want to fulfill your dreams and goals, and he really admires you and thinks your really cute.

this was a little rushed and I probably could have found better characters-

hope this is alright if you want a re-match I can do that for sure <3

timeskip!hinata/manga spoilers below the cut

if you meet after high school:

> you both can speak similar language! (assuming that in this made up universe you have already learned how to speak the rest on your list..)

> imagine that cuddly hinata- but better. it’s the timeskip beef all the characters got like—

> if you met/were together when he was doing beach training, he would definitely try and teach you a bit of beach volleyball/indoors as well.

>when he goes back to japan and joins msby? you probably moved over there with him, if not you can probably make a long distance relationship work just fine

> he would brag to his new teammates so freaking much about you too, especially about your dance skills and how many languages you speak

> he’s just really proud of you tbh

> he understands your want to succeed/ achieve your dreams/goals, I mean he moved to freaking Brazil to help him achieve his, so i think he definitely relates

[flameswallower]

Stimuwrite would be terrible for some people with some forms/causes of brain fog, because the program involves sounds, changing colors, etc. as you write, but I have very severe, largely treatment-resistant ADHD and it works like gangbusters for me personally when the primary problem I'm having is "I can't concentrate on writing long enough to put down more than a sentence or two at a time." It also lets you type in the dyslexia font, which I personally find easier to read at a glance than ordinary fonts.

Even when things aren't quite that bad, I work in short bursts. It's rare that I can write for hours at a time, so I don't try to do that. I usually only obligate myself to write for ten or fifteen minutes at a time, or until I reach 250 words, and if I want to go beyond that, I can-- if some kind of frenetic writing state overtakes me, as happens on a few occasions per year, that's fantastic, but I've learned I can't count on these and shouldn't resign myself to only making creative work in such states. If I'm working against a deadline or want to get a significant amount of writing done in a single day or find myself with a lot of energy and relatively few other things to do, I'll simply dedicate myself to doing multiple short writing sessions separated by a couple of hours each time.

The third thing that I do is a lot of thinking about my writing when I'm not actively working on it. I think about characters, plots, environments, structures, even the phrasing/construction of specific sentences while I'm showering, trying to go to sleep, waiting around at the pharmacy, lying in bed with a migraine, washing dishes, and so on. Not only is this fun, it is actually a way of working on projects-- by the time I'm sitting down to do the writing part, I often have quite a well-developed idea of what I want to do. It's just a matter of putting it down on paper. I really recommend that other people who have problems with sustained effort/concentration/work, but who are talented/easily absorbed daydreamers, make use of their daydreaming facility to develop ideas. I mean, I'm guessing a lot of people already do this, because most people lack the weird hang-up I had for years about my narrative daydreaming being private/embarrassing/not something I could or should share with other people. But it's worth putting out there.

For a variety of reasons, I find sitting normally in a chair to work uncomfortable and hard to tolerate. I usually recline on a couch or squat on my haunches while bracing my back against a wall (my laptop is on a low table or a stack of books in front of me if I'm doing the second one). If you've been making yourself sit at a desk to do work because you've been taught That's How People Do It, and that's difficult and unpleasant for you, I suggest experimenting with other positions and setups that might feel better/more natural/less exhausting physically.

I also recommend sometimes trying to write when you are in mental states where you feel like the writing won't make much sense, you're having trouble holding on to coherent trains of thought, etc. Don't do this if the experience will be upsetting or overly stressful for you, but otherwise-- you can get really interesting stuff this way, even though you may later want to edit it or re-work it! You don't have to wait until you feel like your mind is clear and you're writing in a way that makes conventional sense/is conventionally "good"/would be legible to other people to write. Ditto drawing, sculpting, whatever your medium is (though I feel like this is perhaps more obvious/intuitive with art forms other than writing).

pls ignore this is its too weird or too much labor, but i was wondering if you maybe had any tips or resources for ppl who have creative desires like writing but brain fog and fatigue tends to get in the way?

i do! it may not work for you bc people have very random/unexpected ways of dealing with this, but it's *very* common and there is hope :) [i think a lot of this is applicable across form, but i'm using "writing" here because it's what i'm familiar with]

one way is to be strategic about timing: this includes thinking about when you're least foggy/have the most energy, and/or the most "downtime" where there isn't anything in particular you need to do. many people wake up early so that they have alone time before their responsibilities. some people stay up late to write. i tend to do my daily writing (which I elucidate on below) in the evenings, around 7-10pm. whatever works, works!

relatedly: scheduling/routine is, for me, critical. i think it is for a lot of creative ppl. I write every day, in multiple ways: i keep a journal - i've done this since i was like 12, so it's as ingrained as brushing my teeth and i don't really think about it - and also work on some aspect of my current longest project [so, for the last 4 years, it's been the aforementioned second novel; for the 4ish years before that, it was Failure to Comply. i write other stuff during the daytime, of course, because writing is also my job(s). but if you're looking to establish a consistent creative practice, you don't need to be aiming for a certain hour or word count.

Instead: Aim for consistency and progress. Not perfection, not a "muse," not magic. There is no shame in making something that doesn't seem good, or that you end up deleting. in this particular instance, "perfect is the enemy of good" is 10000% true, and i think especially applicable to people who already experience external + internalized ableist ideologies on a daily basis. your art, regardless of what it is, should be a space where you get to make mistakes, change your mind, and learn new things. it should be something you can come to when you're tired, unsure, confused, scared, etc, even if it means just keysmashing and then closing your notes app for the day.

for me, having a daily practice, regardless of anything, means embracing the days where i write only one word and then despair, as well as the days i write pages. when i feel most depressed, in a very clinicized sense, i try to move from "everything i make now is going to be shitty :(" to "everything i make now is going to be shitty :)", not because i'm happy about it, but because....that's simply part of creating. everything is a bodily function. if you're not feeling good, maybe your poop will look weird. so too with writing. but you still do it. it can be mechanical. but it'll happen, and by doing it consistently, you give yourself the *opportunity* to locate insight hitherto buried, to have an idea creep up on your tiredself.

i guess in sum I'd say that the healthiest thing i ever did for my writing is something tantamount to body neutrality, which has also been an immensely positive addition to my set of frameworks for physical embodimindment. creative neutrality, i guess. this doesn't mean i don't tie my ego and personhood to work/productivity/quality. i mean, i totally do, and it sucks, but there we are. but it also means that i place that in a corner that does not touch my desire to chip away at something big, regularly. i make time every day to summon the urgency of whatever i'm working on, not because i'm proud of it at that moment, but because i want to give it another opportunity to give me something cool.

tl:dr: give yourself the gift of consistency and time, and don't be scared of making stuff that isn't good, or gets deleted, or doesn't make sense. write from wherever you want, physically, mentally, spiritually. give it the opportunity & even the expectation to happen and then work from there.

[typistworld]

Advance Online Typing Speed Test

An advanced typing test is the professional level of typing practice to increase your typing speed. The advance test focuses more on accuracy rather than just speed. When it comes to working efficiently in the office or elsewhere, accuracy will help you to do that. Being accurate at typing lets you type without any spelling mistakes and you become faster at typing. In this blog, we will share with you some pro tips on how to type accurately. So stay here.

What is the best method to practice typing and improve your typing speed?

You have to know why you lost to increase your typing speed after a certain limit (50 to 60 WPM).

You lost because you are not focusing on simple things while typing. As you are focusing on the information and the keys that you press, you ignore all other things.

You ignore your hand site, sitting site, arm site, hand-eye coordination, and any of you ignore to use their small finger too.

The 5 Benefits of Typing speed:

Speed:

This will be the first and common evident benefit of figuring out how to type by memory. A touch typist can assuredly arrive at typing speeds over 80-85words each moment, while a non-prepared individual is around 10. This is enhanced by the way that a skilled typist speed doesn't need to take a gander at the console. You will not only become more effective, but you will also be able to coordinate the center where it is needed.

Precision:

Whatever level of proficiency you attain in typing, it is fundamental to type precisely. This makes your or your staff trust in their archive creation as they will know what they are designing is spelled effectively and linguistically correctly.

Time:

If you speed up for instance, from say 30 words each time to 60, you have adequately separated the time it would take you to do a comparable measure of work. At a speed of 10 words per moment, a two-finger typist will complete a 170-word segment in around 17 minutes. Again, a speed typist can complete a similar section in 4 minutes when composing at 60 words each moment. The research has shown that trained speed-typists can save 20 - 35% of their time spent on a PC by acquiring this skill.

Reduction Fatigue:

Typing is both mentally and physically debilitating when done for prolonged periods. Finding out how to type by memory properly reduces mental and physical exhaustion. Intellectually, it prevents you from focusing on two things simultaneously. All you want to stress over is your yield, not getting the special keys. Truly, it keeps you from constantly twisting your head over the console to find a few keys.

Well-being:

Overall, typing by memory is more beneficial for your well-being. When you are not slouched over the keys and use your entire hand, the danger of dull pressure wounds (RSI) is diminished. Six – Profitability – by mastering typing by memory, you will become more efficient and even increase your own or your staff's confidence. Time is almost split and mistakes will be almost nonexistent. Typing by memory is an expertise to be happy for and is required inside most companies.

To get a good typing speed, how long should you practice?

Proper practicing is very important. Select a routing first then follow the routing. If you can arrange to practice 20 minutes a day for 2 months you will make a good result and your typing speed may reach 60 WPM quickly.

How to increase typing speed?

Increase your typing speed by using the method:

It is the most important factor that can improve your typing skills. There are many ways to type. You can take any of them, but touch typing is the fastest and most correct method.

In this way, the typist doesn't look at the keyboard while typing. As a result, they memorize the layout of the keyboard. As they only focus on the source, their typing speed automatically increases.

If you are a beginner, speed typing will be difficult for you. But once you understand the process and get used to the keyboard, I'm sure you'll love this method. Learn speed typing by reading this article: Typing speed Course.

In this case, you can choose the Hybrid method. It is a combination of the "Hunt and Peck" and "Touch typing" methods.

Typists memorized the positions of major keys and fixed their hand positions using this method. To type, they only move their fingers. Thus, they can type quickly.

What is a good typing speed?

I want to ask a very important question, what is a good typing speed, and what WPM should we aim for? In this case, we can say that the speed is above average. That's means if you are a student; we can say that over 30 words per minute are a great typing speed (as the normal typing speed of students is around 35.55 WPM).

To be a good typist or programmer, you must have a WPM speed over 60. We can say that a good speed is between 50 and 60 WPM on average. In a survey conducted by Microsoft Corporation, many HR managers expect their employees to be able to type above 50 words per minute. Therefore, if you are preparing for a job, you should aim for at least 50 WPM.

One of our surveys showed that a 14-year-old girl achieved 83 WPM speed. It means students don't need to be proficient with 35 to 50 words per minute typing. Practice more and more to improve your typing further. There is no limit to how far you can go.

Fastest typing speed in the world

In the world record of fastest typist, the name of Stella Pajunas Garnand stands out. The record was set in 1946 when she typed 216 words in one minute. Using a model an IBM electric typewriter, she made this record. The speed was the fastest ever recorded using a QWERTY keyboard layout in an online typing test.

According to some reviews and The Guinness World Records, the quickest typist is Barbara Blackburn. In 2005, he used a Dvorak keyboard to make this record. With 212 wpm, she was the fastest woman on the planet.

Women gain both the records, so it's fully a wrong myth that the typing speed of girls is lower than the of boys.

This detailed report should encourage you to practice more and improve your typing speed. Professional typists have an average typing speed of 60 WPM with an accuracy rate of 98%.

Conclusion:

So it appears that programmers and typists generally have better typing skills than students and office workers. You will certainly see a lot of improvement in your typing speed after practicing regularly for 2-3 weeks.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi, I've only recently come across your blog and I'd like to ask you a question regarding my type. I've originally written a long text to mbti-notes via private messaging, but I'd like to hear your opinion as well and draw conclusion from that. In short, I've been typing myself as INFP most of the time, even though I've felt like something is off, that I don't relate well to Fi-dom descriptions, etc. so I'm now thinking I could be an INFJ. I'll provide examples for INFJ as well as some questions

Some info: I'm 20, bipolar, have PTSD and severe social anxiety (diagnosed, so I know I'm not just looping or gripping, but this leads to questions such as if I really have Fe or it's just anxiety, etc.) but I've started psychotherapy, I'm not in a depressive nor hypomanic state so nothing really influences my perception of self, etc. Pretty confident that I'm an INFx, although I'm open to other possibilites, as well. Ni usage: I have a concrete sense of direction and where I want to end up

which does slightly change when I'm going through even more stress than usual, however I have everything planned out and absorb as much information on anything that could help me achieving my goals as possible. Unlike many Ne users (even Ne-terts I know), I don't enjoy switching areas of interest every week, dedication and going for your goal is ultimately what matters to me. I often envision the ideal situation and don't enjoy preparing for everything at one time: I get disappointed whenever

doesn't go as I envisioned it, but I often subconsciously "just know" how some things will play out. Though, this doesn't mean I'm okay without thinking everything thorough and immediately reacting to everything hoping it will be all right.HOWEVER: I think anyone is capable of (thinking they're) "predicting things" for whatever reason. I do like structure, and I have the need to know everything before my mind can move on. Although I have trouble with procrastination, I see this as more of an

emotional issue, since I still need everything to be clear. But still, I'd rather delay something than set it in advance when circumstances can change uncomparingly drastically, and this just seems like common sense to me. I'm absolutely perfectionistic in what I assume is important to me. I have to have full control over specific processes since I usually have some kind of vision how they have to turn out and evolve. HOWEVER: I could definitely picture an Fi-Te user doing this with their art

Why I don't think I use Ni: despite me criticizing whatever seems superficial to me, I still would describe myself as "too shallow" to be put in the same list as other Ni doms if judging by the depth of their Ni. I can enjoy things like living in the moment or spending good time with friends possibly too easily for an Ni dom. I've also been described as scatter-brained before, and had to take the role of the class clown on some occasions (this is more stereotyping than typing by functions, tho)

Fe: I'm pretty much "anti-Fi" in some aspects: this comes more from comparing myself against other Fi dominants, but they all have a somewhat, for a lack of better word, naive way of thinking about their identity, such as that you should show who you truly are all the time and through anything you can, to the point of giving up anything that makes them take up a persona. While this can be exhausting to me as well, I just don't seem to have a sense of personal identity whatsoever

Why I don't think I have Fe: even though I care a lot about what people think of me, I wonder if it's actually just inferior Te. In the end, even though I don't have a sense of identity, I "adopt" characteristics of people who seem interesting to me and act as if they were mine. Why I don't think I have Se: I don't think I have ever looped in a way of making impulsive decisions I regret later, etc. only wasting my time sleeping, doing pointless physical activities, etc.

----------------

Hi anon,

I was not able to come up with a type from this as there are very few actual examples, and putting things in terms of MBTI jargon/comparison to people you have typed as certain types is not really useful because I don’t know if they’re actually that type; it’s also really hard to go off of “here’s everything I’m not”, so I would recommend reading through the FAQ if you’re still stuck. Also, 20 is young and you might need more time to develop, particularly if you’ve been dealing with several mental health issues during your teens.

That said, here’s what I have

- lack of examples often correlates to high intuition in that intuitives tend to go straight to their interpretation and general descriptors rather than examples of their behavior

- someone once joked that long asks are usually high Ne and while I don’t think that’s universally true, it’s often true.

concrete sense of direction and where you want to end up is usually high Ni or Si, but in particular the part about procrastination because things can change really does not sound like an Ni dom at all. Dom Ni users tend not to procrastinate but also tend to really struggle with contingency - they are often so fixated on the vision that they don’t know how to deal with the idea that it may not come to pass.

Liking structure is one thing; do you create structure? Some NPs and SPs appreciate structure as an aid/jumping off point but do not create it; they can still find it helpful. Improvisation is still something that has structure, it’s just not the set structure. So this is a case where examples are absolutely vital.

A lot of the other Ni stuff is just people stuff; I think most people have an image of the ideal, and MBTI defines more your relationship to that, not that it exists. Perfectionism is also something for which examples are pretty vital; I see high Ti users claim perfectionism when it’s more what I’d call logical consistency, and sometimes it’s just high standards.

I should also note that while the circumstances of this question make me think intuition is more likely, most of what you’ve said for Ni is equally likely (if not more likely) to be Si; there’s nothing about themes or abstraction, but rather some degree of planning ahead/closure, with an eye to contingency.

So: examples are needed for the perceiving functions.

The part about Fi is similarly not really useable; I don’t know the people you’ve typed as Fi users; I don’t know if they are actually Fi users or if they’re immature Fi users, if you’re talking about ten people or two people, or what. This isn’t to say that comparing yourself against other people isn’t useful for typing yourself - it is - but when asking people who do not know you questions, you need references that they have access to and I do not have this access. With that said, lack of a sense of identity indicates you’re probably not a high Fi user.

Inferior Te wouldn’t really make you care much about what other people think of you (certainly not more than inferior Fe), and again, it’s hard to determine anything from adopting characteristics of others since that can be normal cognition (people mirror each other in general, regardless of type) or alternately, a conscious decision to imitate someone you admire (which anyone can do since it’s by choice).

My wild guess is xNTP, actually, but it’s very tentative; this felt too rambly for high Ni and the evidence for/against feels like it’s coming from a place of high Ti, attempting to put a consistent logical “if I do not fit all aspects of this I am not this” model in place.

[mentalillnessmouse]

i keep seeing posts that say stuff like "it’s okay to just do absolutely nothing 'productive' today" and maybe so but what if it's not just today? what it was yesterday? what if it will be tomorrow? what if it's been everyday for the past two years? i'm tired of living like this. i'm too exhausted from depression and anxiety to get a job, but i can't afford any kind of help without one. what am i supposed to do?

Hey anon,

I’m sorry you have been so exhausted for so long. Working on recovery alone without outside/professional help can be incredibly difficult. If you can talk to others about your struggles and receive emotional support, if nothing else, it’ll help you begin your way towards recovery.

I think it’s important to mention that being productive and getting a job can be separate. If you clean something up, that is being productive as well! I don’t want you to placing your self worth exclusively on getting a job - which is very difficult! And the fact that you want to break out of this exhausting cycle is a very good start towards, at the absolute least, managing your symptoms.

If you can, start one thing at a time. Make a list or think up things you’d like to work on and pick something. Work on improving it until it is a habit. For example, do you brush your teeth and shower everyday? You can get those toothbrushes that are one use with toothpaste automatically on them to help make the process easier. Maybe a nice scented soap makes showers more attractive or sitting down makes it easier to accomplish. Do your best to feel better about the fact you managed to complete the task! This can mean reflecting on the days you haven’t showered or brushed your teeth and looking at what you have done and going, “I am making progress and slowly getting better!” On days when you can’t complete a task, look at the days you did manage to complete the task. You’ll know that is possible because you’ve done it once, so you can do it again in the future.

I’d like to be clear and say that this is just an example scenario, I don’t automatically think you are not doing these things. But I hope you can see ways to break down the things you would like to begin working on, the ways you can make it less exhausting to accomplish them, and work on celebrating what you have done. Perhaps thinking about progress doesn’t help. If it’s better for you, you could mark it physically, such as marking a calendar with gold stars for days when you manage to accomplish your tasks and silver for when you don’t quite make it. Anything at all that works best for you to note your progress and recognize that you are moving towards recovery may help!

I do think therapist would be incredibly helpful if your symptoms are bad enough where you feel as if you have done nothing productive for two years. We do have this source that helps you locate low cost therapy, although it is exclusive to the US and Canada. There is also this source that may help you as it offers tips and other solutions for when you can’t afford therapy, which sounds like an issue for you at the moment.

I am going to include a lot of resources for you. I hope that you will try to use some of these suggestions and resources to learn what does and does not work for you to piece together a plan towards managing your symptoms so you can continue moving forward and finding a job, as it sounds like that is your current goal. If it helps even slightly, it may be worth trying for at least a week to see where it goes. I’m hoping that the bigger the pool of resources you have at your disposal, the easier it will be for you to begin managing your depression and anxiety.

With that being said, here are the sources:

Depression, Dysthymia, and Depressive Symptoms

Help Guide, a site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help.

Mental Support Community, a forum to talk about regular unipolar forms of depression and how it affects your life.

Mental Help, a site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

FacingUs Clubhouse Wellness Tracker, Wellness Book, Crisis Planning, Etc.

Mood Gym is an interactive website that allows you to learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills for preventing and coping with depression.

The black dog institute has some great resources for depression and bipolar disorder.

This is a link to a great workbook you can do to teach you about coping with depression.

Teen version of HelpGuide for depression

WebMD has some natural ways of coping with depression

You Feel Like Shit – An Interactive Self Care Guide is DepressionResource’s interactive website to cope with bad episodes and try to get you on your feet again.

Productivity/Motivation/Getting Things Done

7 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Be More Productive, Backed By Science

24 Ways to be Uncommonly Productive Today

21 Tips to Become the Most Productive Person You Know

You Thought You Couldn’t Be Productive While Feeling Depressed, Just Wait Till You Read This

Reframe What You Think About Depression

12 Steps to Creating Motivation When Depressed

Responding to Unusual Behavior—Low Motivation

When Depression Causes a Lack of Motivation

Finding the Motivation to Recover from Mental Illness

myHomework: useful for students, especially those of us with poor memory. This app is a practical planner: it syncs across devices so you can easily access your classes and assignments anytime and anywhere, and it reminds you of assignments, classes, tests, due dates, etc.

SoundNote: this app is useful if you have to take notes. It records the lesson and then, if you’re looking for a specific moment, you just have to type what you remember (even just a word) and the app will jump at that point in the recording.

Audionote: same as SoundNote.

Anxiety and Panic-Related Symptoms

Help Guide, a site containing articles to help understand, help numbers, “tool kits”, and self help.

Mental Support Community, a forum to talk about anxiety disorders and how they affect your life.

Mental Help, a site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

Here is a great explanation of anxiety and some self help tips.

This is a guide to Muscle Relaxation that might help your anxiety.  

Here is also an article on social anxiety disorder self help tips.

Here is also some information on exploring and coping with panic attacks.

Here is some information and self help tips on how to handle panic attacks.

Here are some exercises you can do that helps to keep you in the present: grounding techniques, mental grounding exercises, physical grounding exercises, soothing grounding exercises.

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training.

Here is a self help workbook that you might find helpful: panic attacks workbook.

Here is a video with step by step instructions of how to do breathing techniques to help with panic attacks, made by a licensed therapist.

Beyond Blue, a nonprofit working to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related disorders in Australia.

Social Anxiety Support

Anxiety management techniques

There is more information available on our Helpful Resources Page if you’d like tips for finding jobs and such with mental illnesses. They aren’t included in this list as I figured you may want to learn way to begin recovery and such before jumping into finding work. They are available to you whenever you need them though!

Best of luck to you anon! I hope everything goes well for you and that these resources help you at least somewhat.

Please feel free to message us again anytime!

- Xan

[scripttorture]

Do you have any advice for a character who was tortured well before the story begins, who's already done a lot of recovery? I'm thinking current symptoms are forgetfulness, chronic pain, and occasional nightmares; previously, had issues with depression, self-harm, pain-killer addiction, and more frequent nightmares/insomnia, but these are under control now. I don't want to suggest the recovery was easy or fast, but also don't want to spend a lot of time on it instead of on what's happening now.

Youknow I think this is actually a really nice place to start. When somany stories seem to focus on torture itself and the hugedebilitating effect it has on people- it’s nice to see a storythat’s more focused on life afterwards.

There’sa lot of quick, short things you could do to make sure you’ve shownrecovery isn’t fast or easy while still showing it’s possible.You may not want to use all of these and I don’t you’ll have to.I’m going to put as many ideas out as I can so that you can choosea combination that works best for you.

Forstarters you could have the character state how long ago they weretortured. Presumably the fact they were tortured comes up in thestory at some point? Adding a few more words to give an approximatedate instantly shows readers this wasn’t quick.

Ifit’s a modern setting I’d say brief references to medication arealso appropriate.

Ina historical setting the character might be using herbal medicines,many of which are easy to grow. It’s probably not a good idea tohave the character taking some of the old herbal medicines in amodern setting (because they interact badly with common modernmedicines) but they might still grow the plants simply from interest.St John’s Wort is one of the common plants associated with treatingdepression in Europe. It’s a pretty and easy to grow little shrubwith pretty yellow flowers.

Havingthe character mention or think about people who have supported themand treated their mental health issues would also work. This doesn’tnecessarily have to be a therapist, religious leaders often playedthis sort of role in the past.

Thecombination of chronic pain and a pain killer addiction that’s nowunder control gives you an opportunity to discuss the recoveryprocess. Because a lot of people who don’thave chronic pain will automatically suggest pain killers whensomeone mentions they’re in pain. And I think a lot of people arestill quite unaware of the scale of the opioid epidemic in thewestern world*.

Thiskind of interaction wouldn’t necessarily lead to the characteropening up about their experience of addiction. But it’s definitelysomething they could complain to a close friend about or somethingthat could bring up bad memories if you’re writing from their pointof view.

Ifyou’re writing the character as still having the occasionalnightmare then that’s another symptom that can be used to promptdiscussion of their past. Both in the positive sense of how farthey’ve come (this doesn’t happen often any more) and in thenegative sense that this does still have a marked effect on theirlife.

Dependingon the kind of self harming behaviour your character could haveobvious scars.

Alot of people who’ve self harmed are ashamed of their scars andcover them up. Which effects the kinds of clothing they feelcomfortable in and the situations they feel comfortable in.

Somepeople tattoo over their scars. Depending on the design and the skillof the artist someone looking closely at the tattoo might be able tosee the scar. This can be used in a story to prompt conversations orsimply a realisation.

Somepeople will straight up ask about scars. Some people will stare.Whether the character is hiding scars, reclaiming them or justcomfortable showing them, you can use their behaviour to show howthings have changed for them, how they’ve improved.

Andof course self harming behaviour can include a lot of non scarringactivities. It can mean things like going to the gym and overexercising without eating, creating a state of pain and exhaustion.

Behaviourlike this can be harder for other characters to spot evidence of andsomething like that is probably best brought up in terms of the stepsthe character is taking to avoid those behaviours. To extend theexample I used, may be the character stops going to the gym, resolvesnot to buy memberships and tries to allocate time for relaxing andnot doing anything physically active. All of these behaviours mightlook unusual to other characters and that can be used to bring up theprogress the character has made.

Itmay sound like a strange thing but one of the common things I’vefound difficult with my own mental health is the common conversationstarter ‘How are you?’ Because if someone is having a bad mentalhealth day then it’s often not socially acceptable to answerhonestly.

Thecharacter is still going to have bad days. It’s clear to me thatyou understand that from the way you’ve set out their symptoms andhow they’ve recovered. There are going to be points in the storywhere they’ll struggle. Having other characters point out how muchbetter they are at those points is another way to reference theprogress they’ve made.

Becausesometimes any kind of struggle can feel like failure. Having someonesay ‘actually you handled that so much better then you would havelast year’ shows the reader that the character was worse before andhelps build up the relationships between two characters.

Selfdepreciating and dark humour seems to be very common among survivors.It can be used to reference the character’s past problems and showa little of the character’s personality.

Ialso like using anecdotes. Giving a character a story around one ormore of their symptoms. I like using them because they can functionon multiple levels within a story, doing a lot of different jobs atonce. It doesn’t just establish the character’s symptoms andtheir past, it’s part of a conversation with someone else. So itcan be used to tell us a little about the relationship the charactershave and build that relationship.

Itcan even prompt characters to change the way they act and hence thecourse of the plot.

Thefirst example that’s springing to mind from my own writing didn’tinvolve a torture survivor but I think it might help show you what Imean.

Thesetwo characters have spent most of the book not really interacting inany meaningful way. The main character recently lost someone she wasvery close to, a family friend. However this friend was a torturerunder the old regime and as a result she doesn’t feel like she canreally express her grief. She’s been angry and closed off.

Whenshe finally manages to speak civilly to the second character she’ssurprised to find that he’s understanding and instantly links herbehaviour to her loss. A loss that most of the people around herhaven’t acknowledged as a loss.

Andhe tells her a story about his grandmother, a soldier under the oldregime who took part in atrocities. It’s not a long story, or aparticularly long conversation. But it’s doing a lot of narrativework, telling the reader’s about the back story of a new characterwhile building a stronger relationship with an existing character.

Whateverthe details of your character’s backstory you can do the samething.

Thefinal thing that springs to mind is using coping strategies to showhow things have changed for your character over time.

Yourcharacter probably has a lot of strategies in place for dealing withforgetfulness and pain. Those strategies are going to be prettydifferent to the ones that helped the character with depression,addiction and self harm.

Youcan have characters comment on changing behaviour but you can alsouse changes in the way the character has structured their environmentor changes in the types of things they consider essential.

Sofor instance one of the common things that comes to my mind fordealing with forgetfulness is lists, post it notes and writing onhands. The character might have taken to carrying pens and bits ofpaper or moved things around at home so there’s more space to putnotes in visible places.

Whereasthe strategies someone might use to deal with addiction could be-keeping really busy and staying away from the places/things that theyassociate with their addiction.

Andthat means to an outsider it could look as though the character has‘suddenly’ become a lot more scatter brained. Because suddenlythey’re not rushing about all the time and referring to bits ofpaper every few minutes.

Italso means their living space might have gone from very sparse and‘neat’ (as a lot of reminders were removed) to ‘cluttered’and full of bits of paper.

Someof these observations would need to be spelled out for readers tounderstand all of what they convey. But describing these things earlycan be used to foreshadow an explicit discussion later.

That’sa lot of potential suggestions and I’m sure it’s not everythingyou could possibly do. But the story doesn’t need absolutelyeverything, it just needs enough to get the point across.

Choosethe strategies that appeal to you and that you think could add toyour story. Focus on the discussions that you think are essential tounderstanding the character and the plot.

Andtry not to worry to much. It sounds like you’ve done a lot of workso far and a lot of reading.

Ihope that helps. :)

*Thisis a term used to refer to the over prescription of addictive opioidpain killers. Now for a lot of people who live with intense painthese medicines are essential. Opioids remain the best pain killerswe have. But they are also incredibly dangerous. Over prescriptioncan (and in the west has) result in a high death rate from drugoverdoses.

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