#I'm out of tags Ridley doesn't get a tag and I'm just gonna leave cinderace and Omanyte off. yes all the pokemon have names and i love them.

[volt-reblogs-n-rambles]

I did it. The blorbos.

Thoughts below the cut.

Ok so if you clicked read more WELCOME this is a LOT of thoughts coming at you so like:

•Rankings are approximate, and not commentary on anything in terms of actual character analysis. I am not comparing the crimes, actual or social, of these characters in a serious way

•Samus was originally in the center and then I was like "no. No she's more creature than that."

•also shout-out to Sablegear0 for the fic line around the lines of "nice humans not say they nice" and that's what I was thinking about.

•Some of the Bastard rankings are for crimes and some are vibes. Some are both!

•For example, Stan has an immense criminal record! MB tried to kill all humans.

•Meanwhile, Bill Cipher is a Bastard AND a criminal! I hate him he's great.

•Goro Akechi is a mess that needs like. A good friend and therapy and some self-discovery. He also committed crimes but I think he'd do better outside of jail.

•That Appletun is George, he's my apple son, I love him, I hold him gently, that IS my art from like 2020 don't worry about the horns it's a long story

•I know Shy Guys are villains but. No they aren't.

•Good news, I would trust like all of the men here with my drink? With a few OBVIOUS EXCEPTIONS.

Ok actually that needs an elaboration. Obvious exceptions are the two in The Pit and Ridley Metroid because I don't. No I don't trust them.

As for the rest, trust reasons: two are below the age of 16, Ren supports women's rights AND wrongs don't at me, Akechi I don't think I would ever approach because Oh No He Needs Therapy but for background and general vibes reasons I think he would fight someone trying to do anything. Zagreus gives me similar vibes to Ren even though Greek Mythology but like just I don't I don't think.

Ford is a great uncle and would also fight someone. Same with Stan, and I went back and forth on this but landed on the great uncle point but also he would just steal the drink. And that's funny.

•Adam Malkovich exists but he's a computer he can't hold anything. But he's also just Man. That's it. None of the other qualities. That's a guy.

•wait I forgot Link. Same boat as Ren but like if Link doesn't give me ace vibes. Yes I'm projecting. I can project on a lot of these guys!