#I'm noticing I'm letting the potential vehicle do a lot of guiding here and you know. could be freeing to accept it as it comes
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Actively beginning to catch myself going down thought spirals and this has to be a good sign actually
#looking through my sketchbook and realizing ive had it for at least 2 or so years now#and am surprised by how much space is on the pages and how little i seem to have really drawn..#and I'm wondering if I'm putting too much stock and faith in the vehicle; especially now that the path to getting one#is a bit more protracted as i continue shopping around#i just suddenly feel so tired and had intended to draw but felt the motivation drain from me#it *is* past 9pm where i am so it could also just be that time of night as well but#I'm noticing I'm letting the potential vehicle do a lot of guiding here and you know. could be freeing to accept it as it comes#it was definitely a letdown to not get the one i test drove (too expensive) and to not have a car after expecting to have one#and being excited at the prospect of everything becoming easier; and it's definitely a feeling I'm allowed to have#but it's like. idk. i wanna reshape how I'm thinking about this i guess?#and trying to drive away the way i feel burnt out from work every other week but that's for another day. 8 hours is too damn long#shai speaks
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