#I'm not just braver than any US Marine for being reasonable but also braver than any French soldier which is also not very hard

[allegedly-human]

Saw a post from a USAmerican teen saying hating France ironically was americans trying to find socially acceptable ways to be racist and that it was imperialism and like.

Hi! French here. Making fun of France ironically and for silly reasons is more than okay 90% of the times. The few times people have been cunts about that has been when they were salty about us not joining the US to invade the Middle East, and other equally racist comments. We are not a misrepresented community that suffers from racial or societal prejudices because of our French origins, and especially not from people posting a vid of France disappearing from a map with a One Direction song. And fun fact, the argument that other Western countries don't respect us (especially the USA) is a far right argument for nationalism with the intent of pushing the "reject modernity embrace tradition the woke is coming from the US" argument with it. Believe it or not, "the French must not see any part of their culture treated lightly for it is holy" is a lot more worrying to me than "I kissed a Frenchman and got lung cancer from the second hand smoking" or whatever infinitely funnier thing internet people can find.

And, and I cannot stress this enough, this applies to our language. I cannot and won't talk for other French-speaking communities, but here in France I don't know one person who wouldn't make jokes about French being a joke and all that, and those I do know like this are people that tend to say the sentence "but is it really a genocide" a lot on various topics. However, the institutions that are hellbent on respecting and protecting French here are, you guessed it, conservative institutions like the French Académie who thinks that you shouldn't call Natives Americans Native Americans and that you should not be allowed to use gender neutral pronouns or to have a word for female authors, and of course the right. You're not being progressive by treating our culture the way Le Pen wants it to be treated, believe it or not

It's a long long topic worth thousands of words but I think the bottom line for this is: you guys joke about 9/11 and burgers, believe me, we're not that different, the only people who'll get offended by this are the same people who would scream at you to respect the troops and the thin blue line if they were from the US. The USA isn't the most special place of the world that's the only one worth laughing at, and claiming that USAmericans are "punching down" when making jokes about us is fucking stupid

[ms-demeanor]

sex work is work, no problem with that, but spamming sex work absolutely everywhere now is not okay. bot or not, it is not okay to shove your probably fake/stolen tits or ass into everyone's face even where kids are. it is absolutely the lowest, cheapest trash doing that. are these people showing their barely covered up pussy to school kids on the street to maybe get a customer? because they are doing exactly that on the internet. if you cant find customers and need to lower yourself to std ridden junkey trash standards who missed the way and entitled themselves to begging for money outside trash town, zero support from me!

Yeah you really sound like someone who supports sex workers. That's what I always think when I hear people using words like "disease-ridden" and "junkie" - 'wow, that person must be SUCH an ally. braver than any US marine, thank you for your service, person who believes sex work is work but thinks STIs or drug addiction are 'trash'.'

So, point by point:

It's not absolutely everywhere. You don't see people trying to link their onlyfans on facebook most of the time (i've actually never seen it but i could believe it is happening, though it's not common because FB has real-name policies that are unfriendly to sex workers). You're unlikely to see fansly links as sidebar ads on cspan. People aren't linking their pages in the amazon reviews. You're seeing it "everywhere" because you're not going anywhere. Tell me you spend all your time on two to three platforms without telling me you spend all your time on two to three platforms. Instagram, tiktok, twitter, and tumblr are full of people who are promoting all kinds of brands and one of those kinds of brands is sex work.

Those are also all platforms that have age restrictions and behavior standards, and of all of them tumblr is the one that has the history of being the most openly sexual and the least connected to legal identities. People are linking to their diy porn because of the culture of these websites both currently and historically. I once posted a video on this website of me bringing myself to orgasm in a public bathroom stall then inserting a dildo into my vagina before I went on stage and performed a set with my band. I did it for free and for fun five years ago, the week before the porn ban hit.

What I'm saying here is that the culture of this website has a much longer history of openness about sex and sexuality and the visual presentation of sex than it does of being full of people who think teens shouldn't see nipples. This is an *extremely* reasonable place to post information linking to porn that you make and to use cute pictures of yourself to do so.

It's also really easy to tell that these people aren't bots or using stolen images because the whole point of the live platform is that you can click through and go talk to them. Strange Aeons did just that and you can see what happened. (click on that video for a fun cameo at 6:04) Turns out live users are just a bunch of people (not networks stealing images the way that actual porn *bots* on tumblr do) and the ones who are trying to do sex work on the live platform itself get banned.

But also kids too young to see the occasional boob shouldn't be on tumblr! (like, seriously, define kids. what age is too young to see the kinds of images allowed by the tumblr live tos? how about the ones banned by the tumblr live tos? How old should you have to be before someone shows you an ahegao face on a hoodie in public? What should the punishment be for the ahegao fashionistas for exposing six year olds to anime tongues? What should the minimum age be to go on the beach and see men in speedos? Fifteen, or is that still abusive to children? Maybe we should make it twenty to be safe, or better yet why don't we make it twenty AND ban speedos? this is what you sound like, you fucking asshole). Tumblr has age limits and people under that age limit shouldn't be looking at most things on this website. A smiling woman in a bikini top or a dude with his abs out are fucking nothing compared to the kind of damage you personally and specifically are trying to inflict with your shitty ideas.

Posting t&a on tumblr is not at all comparable to doing street level work and soliciting children for a number of reasons, but I'd just like to really take the time to point out that you just compared the profile pics on tumblr live to sexually soliciting a child. You literally did the "x group i hate are pedophiles" thing, which is exactly why it's such a huge problem that any and all types of nudity have been stigmatized online. We have created an entirely new paradigm of "pedophile" that means "existed around a child while wearing tight pants." You are such a fucking clueless, sanctimonious pile of shit that you can't even see that that's what you're doing. This is literally, exactly kink at pride discourse.

And that's even if I grant you that these people are posting t&a! Go look at the live leaderboards, you don't have to accept the ToS to see the leaderboards! We are talking about *at most* saucy pin-up levels of eroticism. I have seen fucking holiday cards with more visible cleavage than any of the top 200 tumblr live streamers right now.

The only thing in your final sentence that makes any sense is that you are positioning tumblr as trash town.

Yeah. I'm actually not at all impressed by tumblr recently and that has a lot more to do with the influx or resurgence of nuance-allergic, anti-sex, whiny shits like you than it does with a banner that i can scroll past in a quarter of a second.

I want people reading this to really, really sit down and think about what they're calling assault or hypersexualiztion or whatever. We are talking about profile pictures. You are so offended by a bar of 4 profile pictures at the top of your dash that you're comparing regular ass humans (some of whom are sex workers and some of whom are just streamers who took thirst trap selfies) to the real life solicitation and abuse of children.

TOUCHING GRASS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PLEASE GO INTERACT WITH ACTUAL REAL HUMANS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT DASHCON OR MILKSHAKE DUCK ARE. YOU ARE CRITICALLY INTERNET POISONED AND IF YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE AT THE DMV AND DESCRIBED IT AS ASSAULTING CHILDREN TO HAVE SOMEONE IN A BIKINI ON A BILLBOARD THEY WOULD IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET AWAY FROM YOU. THINK OF THIS POST AS THE CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTOR TELLING YOU THAT THE SHADOWS YOU'RE SEEING AREN'T ACTUALLY DEMONS BUT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO REALLY REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T GO OUTSIDE.

[danteadredkin]

Okay I have a lot of gnender questions but here's the big one that bothers me a lot:

I identify as a man, but I still like presenting femininely. I know that men can be feminine but for some reason when I wear a dress and do up my hair I look at myself and immediately see a girl. Sometimes I like they/them and other times I prefer he/him but I've never liked she/her, so whenever I wear those clothes I just feel yucky even though I love dressing up. And at first I thought I might be trans but then i realized that I didn't want to transition so I thought I might be genderfluid but something about that label just feels not right for me.

Sorry for turning this into a gnender rant but the gist of it is this: I don't think I'm trans but I know I'm not genderfluid, so is this just good 'ole confusion or is there an actual label for what I'm feeling>

I've had a few somewhat similar feelings before, with some labels feeling almost right but not quite, and sometimes two different ones feel right but they're conflicting labels, sometimes the labels that fit me change day to day, ect ect. What I eventually settled on that made me happy is just calling myself 'queer'. It's the word that I decided best describes me, encompassing everything and committing to nothing. I can be asexual one day and bi the next and trans the day after. It's lgbtqa+ all in one simple word.

As for gender labels specifically...the equivalent might be just calling your gender 'gender' lol. Personally, I would consider using 'queer' as my gender, if I was feeling what you describe. You also might find happiness or satisfaction in being one of those people who just say 'what are you, a cop?' when asked their gender. You might be happier trying to learn to live with and even love a concept without a name for your gender, leaving it unnamed. It doesn't have to have a label, if it's causing you more stress to look for one that's perfect than it's worth.

You might also try aiming for androgynous fashion, or looking male with your body but feminine with your clothes. Personally, I actually really liked experimenting with makeup styles meant to make female faces look more masculine, you might try that. I've also been thinking about trying male voice training, I think that would be similarly satisfying, you might try that.

You said something about not wanting to transition. I can kind of feel that. On the topic of my own gender...if it was a perfect world, and I could switch my body's gender with the flick of a button, and transphobia didn't exist, I think I would. I would pick a male body, but I would probably still dress it pretty feminine quite often. But this is not a perfect world, and transitioning is difficult and painful and expensive, and most of the world is some degree of transphobic, and honestly I barely have any body disphoria worth mentioning. So I choose to stay a woman most of the time, because it's the easier option. I often think that people who choose to transition are tougher and braver than any marine.

One place I think you might also find a kind of kinship is actually with drag queens, I think. I've met a few before. Now from what I understand, most drag queens won't answer directly if you ask their gender, but from what I understand, a fair number of them aren't actually trans women. They're just men who present feminine, sometimes or all the time, men who look like women, which sounds like some of what you've described. You might seek out your local drag queens (and kings) for further wisdom on the subject.

I also have a little brother who is trans, but he still chooses to present as very feminine. Most people look at him and see a girl. He's had a lot of mental health struggles around his gender. It feels to me like you have a lot in common with him. If you want, I could ask him to make a throw away account, and you could message him, or annon him? He might have better answers than me.

And also one thing that makes sense to me, that's helped me make sense of some gender things, is this thing that I heard once. It goes something like: "I am a man. And this is my skirt. And sense this skirt belongs to a man, that makes it a man's skirt, not a woman's skirt." This line has helped me make sense of a lot of gender things. That might help you too, when presenting feminine? Go through things one by one, and say 'I am a man, so that is a man's skirt. I am a man, so that is a man's ponytail. I am a man, so that is a man's makeup.' Or substitute they/them, when the mood strikes. Make it a kind of morning affirmation, maybe?

I kind of got all over the place with this reply...sorry about that. The end question was on labels, wasn't it? I'm sorry, but if there is a single, perfect label for what you are and what you're feeling, I don't know what it is. I've had some similar feelings, but the *not knowing* has never bothered me enough to really dig into it with a lot of self examination and research. I hope something of my experience helps though, and I hope you know I care about you no matter what your gender or clothes are. Even if there isn't a word for you, or if the word changes every day, you're still *you* and I still like *you* behind all the labels and the clothes and the body. I hope you likes *you* too. And you can feel free to ask me any time, though I'm sorry if I don't quite have the right words.

[sapphire-weapon]

Do you ever self ship with Leon? Or you usually fantasize about Eagle One? I’m having a hard time understanding ANY ship because I want that hunk for myself… (I do ship Chreon a bit but it doesn’t count)

the long answer is: no for very specific fandom boomer reasons. in my day, if you self-shipped, you were called a soulbonder (even if you weren't soulbonding) and exiled from fandom spaces. it served a good purpose (except for when it didn't), and we had our reasons for doing that. but it's not a mindset I've ever unlearned, and I'm probably too old now to try.

the short answer is: I believe self-shippers are braver than any US marine

the medium answer is: I actually am not all that attracted to Leon. I'm attracted to RE4make Leon specifically and no other version. I basically grew up alongside him as the series was being released; he feels more like an old childhood friend to me now. And also I'm not entirely sure that OG Leon in particular would be a good lay. So I mostly just wanna get drunk and watch football with him, really. It just seems like a better use of my time.

[the-real-daddy-van-der-bellen]

man making teachers/tutors teach primary school children who don't know how to use a computer or to click a link or to open a pdf or to anything online via zoom should be illegal as torture or cruel or unusual punishment

[dhaaruni]

Ok, what're the spiciest romance novels you'd recommend (I.E. are actually well written) where the sex doesn't have questionable consent/agency/isn't "this guy is a complete dick but it's ok because he's an aggressive dom in bed and that's hot"?

I feel like it's hard to find romance with spicy, exciting sex, plot that's worth something, and where the sex isn't vaguely uncomfortable, if that makes sense?

So, I don't read and definitely don't recommend romance novels with sex scenes that are dubcon so we're good there. Also like, anybody that claims men being dominant in bed is synonymous with being violent towards women is lying and just looking for an excuse to abuse women, and I'm not here for it at all.

But, here's my list! Caveat that I almost only read historical romances and a lot of these are parts of series but these were my personal standouts, and I can vouch for the strength of their plots and sex scenes lol.

A Rogue of One's Own by Evie Dunmore: I'd describe this as like the historical romance version of dipping your toe into the water before jumping in but it's very good, and my birthday twin Oscar Wilde shows up!

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas: I always recommend this one like some people don't like it for reasons that will be immediately obvious but it's my favorite romance novel of all time so I feel obligated to include it

Return of the Duke by Lorraine Heath: SO SO SO good like I don't want to spoil it but it involves espionage and spies and the heroine is older than the hero by a few years, which is always refreshing. I also loved Heath's The Earl Takes All, which is like, the book involving a man being killed in a gorilla attack and his twin taking brother's position as Earl and his wife's husband. It's so wild, I love it.

For the Duke's Eyes Only by Lenora Bell: Indiana Jones in historical romance form!! Like, the heroine's name is Lady India Rochester and the hero is the Duke of Ravenswood, IYKYK.

Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare: Griffin has one of the best backstories of any romance novel hero, and Pauline is just so cool. The point at which I start crying in this book is about 70% of the way in and ironically, during one of the hottest sex scenes I've ever read, like it's not everybody's cup of tea and I don't want to spoil it but it made me gasp out loud. I'd also recommend Dare's The Wallflower Wager, which has one of the only vegetarian heroines in historical romance, and I won't spoil her backstory but the resolution of it made me cry.

The Highwayman by Kerrigan Byrne: I liked Byrne's entire Victorian Rebels series, which are bonafide thrillers, and this first one is a particular standout, but I also really liked The Duke, which I didn't expect to since I'm not a fan of amnesia plots on principle, but it was great.

Her Night with the Duke by Diana Quincy: hot, fun, progressive without being clunky about it, and really well-written

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover by Sarah MacLean: Pippa my (most likely) autistic fave!!! This book is great in terms of consent too because for ~plot reasons~, Cross refuses to touch Pippa for a while but like, don't worry, shenanigans still ensue and they're hot. I'd also recommend MacLean's Day of the Duchess, which is easily one of the best redemption arcs I've ever read like Sarah's braver than the US Marines for asking readers to root for a guy that cheats on his wife, but she absolutely succeeds in it.

The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe: Joanna Shupe is very good at letting her female characters be messy and imperfect, which I love. Like, Florence is a good person but she also spends 90% of the book running around making decisions that make literally everybody else go "girl... no." I also would add The Courtesan Duchess, which might be technically dubcon in terms of Julia lying about her identity, but if you read it, you see why she does it, and you really end up feeling for both Julia and Nick, her dumbass himbo husband.

Dare to Love a Duke by Eva Leigh: This book has a sex worker heroine who's totally awesome, and the hero is actually worthy of her BAMF-ness, which isn't super common with heroines that are this complicated and interesting.

Duke of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt: This book is pretty much the only uptown boy/downtown girl romance that doesn't make me super uncomfortable at the power differential between the protagonists. Maximus, despite being a pretty alpha duke, gives me the exact opposite of Benedict Bridgerton in An Offer from a Gentleman vibes like it's always very clear that he fully respects Artemis and she's never bereft of agency.

A Caribbean Heiress in Paris by Adriana Herrera: The representation in this book felt so organic, and like, I'd love to get brunch with Luz!

I'm definitely missing some but these should get you started!!

[mylordshesacactus]

Really enjoyed the Tali/Shepard fics. It makes me curious, what's your go to Shepard origin and psych profile and why?

LET ME TELL YOU MY SHEPARD BUILD OPINIONS.

So, the thing is, right out the gate I have to acknowledge: I DEEPLY appreciate the earthborn!Shep origin for a lot of reasons, chief among them that I actually have very little patience for protagonists who start out anything BUT genuinely normal by the standards of their universe, succeeding through hard work and skill.

That being said the colonist background was, in @alexkablob's words, designed in a lab specifically to murder me.

(A lot of it is "I Remember Me". I've done a partial Earthborn playthrough and the long and short of it is, I just...it's not the same. I LOVE the Earthborn-specific questline, I genuinely do! One of the NPCs I'm softest for is the random turian C-Sec officer, a stranger, to whom Shepard means absolutely nothing, who completely no-sells the attempt to blackmail her. "The Commander overcame a difficult childhood to have a distinguished military career. Most turians will applaud her for that." is one of the first examples of firm, instinctive, unquestioning kindness between species that we get in the series from anyone who isn't Shepard.)

(There are other reasons--the deep hatred between humans and batarians is one, and all the little moments in the game where Shepard stops, and turns around, and shows kindness and compassion...it's not that those moments mean less if you're Earthborn, it's just that Colonist!Shep who lost everyone she'd ever known to batarian slavers still choosing to say "no, we're people, we're all just people" means so much. It hits so hard.)

(And god, it's just not the same if you don't get Talitha.)

I COMPLETELY respect and support people who are deeply attached to Earthborn!Shep. But it's almost always gonna be Colonist, for me.

Now, as for background, this is where I have VERY firm opinions.

(I mean first off nobody, like, ACTUALLY does Ruthless, right? Like, except if you're doing some kind of Mirror Universe renegade run or something? We all agree that's the most boring hashtag edgelord gamer bro bullshit in existence, correct? cool moving on.)

Anyway so: My preferred background for Shepard changes based on class. I also very firmly prefer to play Infiltrator but I acknowledge that Vanguard is cool both narratively and mechanically, and diehard Vanguard purists are valid. I'm planning to do a Vanguard playthrough sometime soon.

(I'm not shittalking anyone's preferences. The much-maligned Engineer deserves the love the devs gave them and players who genuinely prefer to play Engineer and defend that choice in gamer spaces are wrong but also braver than any fucking US Marine.

I also personally find any biotic Shepard less narratively satisfying because it's important to me that Shepard is--Shepard is Frodo. There is nothing inherently special about her. She has no awesome powers, no space magic, she's not a hyper-specialized genius whiz kid. It didn't have to be her--except it did. It's important to me that, in her own words, her spirit and personality are what make her great. It's important to me that the only thing that makes her special is that she chooses to step forward and offer a hand, every time.

I will take the ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way.

Soldier doesn't appeal to me because it's just SO GENERIC but I'd be a hypocrite to say that can't be compelling given my opinions on everything else!)

Infiltrator: War Hero

This one tracks well with either origin honestly--for a colony kid who already survived one slaver attack, the Blitz being yet another unstoppable wave of cruelty but this time she can do something about it is phenomenal. For an earthborn Shepard who grew up running with street gangs, she's now taking all of those urban survival and navigation skills and using them to fuck with an army of slavers like the little feral gremlin she is.

The thing is, I ONLY really like the War Hero background for an Infiltrator. For a Vanguard Shepard it just....ugh, I don't know. It just feels like way too much. A Memetic Badass situation. Yeah, whatever, we get it, she's sooooo cool and soooo powerful that she just can wade into combat and personally fight off One Thousand Bad Guys hoorah chestpound etc.

For an Infiltrator!Shep, though?

Infiltrator Shepard as the Hero of the Skyllian Blitz is believable. For anyone who HASN'T read it already, I dig into this a lot in this fic. She's not Just That Badass--She's not biotic-charging into melee with Ten Thousand Guys; she's just good, and smart. A good position with a good line of sight and a steady hand and solid hacking abilities to back her up--getting through sealed doors and locking them behind her, tapping into batarian comms, shorting out surveillance,overriding elevators.

She's the sniper who held Elysium.

Vanguard: Sole Survivor

And Sole Survivor works best for a Vanguard for the exact opposite reason.

It still hits equally hard regardless of background. Earthborn!Shepard, this is her first real family; she had to rip herself away from the people she thought were Her People for a long time in order to be the person she wanted to be, and this was her squad, the people she could actually depend on, and they were ripped away for no reason. And for Colonist!Shep, oh god. They're NOT her first real family. And she's already experienced senseless, devastating loss before, and here it is again, and god, could anyone blame her for getting a Kiss Of Death complex at that point?

She's lost so much, over and over, and she just keeps being kind. Keeps choosing to let herself be vulnerable. Keeps reaching out a hand and telling others that it's worth it to let people in. A Colonist Sole Survivor Paragon Shepard is arguably the bravest human being in the galaxy.

The thing is, in a lot of ways it doesn't work well for an Infiltrator, not with Shepard's personality, really. You could tell an excellent story about a woman who went through one too many devastating losses and withdrew both emotionally and physically and clings to the classic "emotionless sniper" archetype but that's....not how Shepard plays, at all, even a little.

And frankly, being helpless against a thresher-maw attack is something that's...uh, normal, for an Infiltrator. Like, trust me, this is basically Every Single Playthrough for me. A dedicated hacker-sniper is not likely to blame herself for being helpless against a close-up attack where she's trapped on the ground with no cover against a bigass worm. That is obviously not a situation where she could reasonably expect to be useful for anything except hauling ass.

Not saying you couldn't do anything compelling with that! Not at all! Fascinating conversation to have about it!

But oh man.

"Close-up combat on the ground with minimal cover and little to no warning" is basically the entire reason Vanguards exist.

A Vanguard sole survivor is the best possible avenue for a My Greatest Failure complex and devastating survivor's guilt and a raw gulf of vulnerability like no other.

[lord-squiggletits]

IDW1

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Optimus obviously lmao

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Pyro ;w; If he was still alive I would protect him with my life

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Optimus Impactor. Really wish we had more of that guy besides the Wreckers stuff. I'm especially interested in how he would interact with Megatron after the war (or just more of their friendship before the war), also just how he would behave in less high-action situations than Wreckers stuff.

I guess for additional obscurity points I could say Ratbat? I liked how much of a conniving bastard he was for the literal 2 issues he lived during RID. I also just think that it's super fucking based for the Decepticons to enslave this One Fucking Senator as punishment for being a bougie bitch. Imagine if they had done that to Proteus too. Then Proteus could be a pet and not in the kinky way. New AU idea just dropped.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Stealth Bomber Megatron specifically lsdkjfadsl;fksadk but I also have a newfound love of Proteus because he's pretty and evil. The sexiest, baddest bitches never last long. :pensive:

poor little meow meow

Also Optimus. I don't think he gets woobied enough, I think I need to make more propaganda about how sad and angsty this guy is.

(“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Who do you think??? IDW Optimus fans are braver than any US Marine

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

I guess Dai Atlas to be a little more obscure. He's kind of a pretentious hard ass IMO and I'd like to see him get shit on because he’s just like, punchable

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Rodimus lmao