#I'm not going to use wattpad
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Ever hate it when you start to get brain rot of a character you love except there's 3 seconds of screentime for them, literally one piece of official art ; and when you ship them with another character that would have a silly / cute dynamic with them there's 6 fanfics of them together on ao3 with an added up amount of words of 13k and when looking around the Internet for art of this character, 1/3 of each art piece is with another character you dislike the ship of and, it mainly being created because the creator drew them together a small amount of times in some sketchs so you have to rant about them to your friends who say 'L' and 'insert ship better' causing me to rave like a lunatic to friends not even online making my rants look like akin to an insane persons ramblings in their diary which showcase their downfall and insanity.
#baxtious#I'm talking about baxtious#Character at the start being baxter#I'm not going to use wattpad#I wrote this whilst listening to an hour loop of that one part against the kitchen floor by will wood our great leader#I will cry and go insane if baxter isn't in season 2#I dont have much friends#poe bsd kinnie honestly
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So I just watched the new Helluva episode (the Specter Diddlers)
Most of the "fuck" humor just made me roll my eyes at worst, and I could sit through it at best. The focus on Millie was the sole reason I decided to check it out and I loved that she got to be badass and have new lore to her. Her and Blitz had notable chemistry (platonically speaking, though I've seen some people start considering the ship after this). I don't think I could add anything new to the already existing discussion, but I'll just say this:
Ronaldo's existence is... incredibly confusing. What kind of demon is he? How did he get to Earth? Sinner overlords are the ones that can be insanely powerful, see also: Alastor, but even he is confined to Hell. Succubi and some imps (like Barbie) can be registered as working on Earth, but they don't seem to have any special powers outside of seduction in the former's case. Aquatic hellborn demons exist, like Crimson's mafia or Glitz and Glam, but they also don't have powers. Let alone ones this showy. I mean, the one other time we've seen demonic possession was in Truth Seekers (iirc) done by Stolas, who is a Goetia, which this dude also isn't... so what is he and what was he doing up top?
(Though since he was also killed at the end, he had to have been a hellborn, as sinners can only die from angelic weapons...)
#helluva critical#helluva boss critical#not a confession#(well. just mine)#I'm tired of the Blitz pity parties as much as the next guy and we've seen his insecurities and trauma be broken down so so many times#like sure dude. we get it#the Ronaldo torture part where he watched it all flash by with tears streaming down his face felt particularly gratuitous#and Wattpad fanfiction-y (if I'm still allowed to use such terms)#but yeah the burning mother scene did go kinda hard#with the dead past Millies... I like it when shows do that. line up all the different possibilities slash bad endings#remember those pages in The Book Of Bill?#anyway I'm also confused as to why Loona will just oblige with Blitz's random bullshit to her own detriment now when previously she's had#no problem kicking him hard in the balls for so much as mildly upsetting her#but I've missed a few eps so who'm I to assume#I guess it could be because he's that down in the dumps but it's not even like he was WATCHING her burn them
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i see people thinking that the side story is the bad ending for kim dokja. and don't get me wrong, he doesn't come back after the door opens, but that is because kimcom CHOSE that.
they had the option to open a door where kim dokja woke up, but they chose to go through the door where he doesn't wake up because they know that first door is a trap (like 49/51), and they want all of kim dokja. and when they go through, kim dokja is gone, but he's left a note. he is STILL OUT THERE (and part of him is with lhh right now. it's complicated)
anyway this is just to say KIM DOKJA IS BACK IN THE SIDE STORY. he is just not with kimcom *yet*. i need to make this clear because i keep seeing people saying things that sound like people think he's gone for real in the side story.
#orv#and even then. i don't think it's possible for kimcom to get '100%' of kim dokja#what even is 100% of kim dokja? what is 100% of a person?#you forget things. does that mean you're not 100% of yourself anymore?#do they need to kill the reincarnated fragments to pick up those story fragments left with him? do YOU need to die to bring back kdj?#look at my url for the reason why i am passionate about this subject. i like the side story and where it's going with this#feel free to send an ask about anything i will answer and clear any possible misinfo you got#especially from tiktok i hate that place#i'm not forcing you to read it but just. give it a chance if you are curious even a little#it's cheap. vapolunes on twitter has season 1. i have season 1 + over half of season 2 translated. i can send you a guide for purchasing#please please dont use the wattpad tl its actually worse than mtling it yourself#orv side story#orv spoilers#side story spoilers
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Kinktober Day 23 & 26: "Bondage/Restraints" & "Voyeurism/Exhibitionism" - For OTP: "Femme Fatale and the Apex" (Sonya x Jennifer)
Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @imogenkol and @josephseedismyfather
Tagging @adelaidedrubman @spookyrares @derelictheretic @inafieldofdaisies @noodlecupcakes @direwombat @voidika @cassietrn @aceghosts @icecutioner @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @cloudofbutterflies92 @carlosoliveiraa @wrathfulrook @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @josephslittledeputy @skoll-sun-eater @g0dspeeed @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins and @florbelles + anyone else who want to join.
Prompt based on this kinktober post made by fellow mutual @starsandskies. While the main Kink of this post is "Bondage/Restraints" & some "Voyeurism/Exhibitionism", there's also some minor inclusions of "Dirty Talk", "Orgasm Control", "Praise Kink", "Knife Play" and "Dom/Sub dynamic". I would have put down "Naked-Clothed" but the "clothed" person in question is an almost 10-foot tall cyborg beastie (with a human's brain) whose only covering is metal welded into the flesh so... SHRUG!
Anyway, SimpleGenius here from my Life, Despair & Monsters Blog. Just making my first contribution to Kinktober. I'm not really an excessive smut writer, though with that being said, I have written it on occasion, just never posting it (...until now). This is a oneshot devoted to Sonya and Jennifer just being their kinky selves.
From the mature tag and the title you can probably already guess that this oneshot (which will also be uploaded onto my AO3 as well) contains explicitly sexual content meant for 18+ users only. Minors Do Not Interact!
Here's some more warnings to scare off any stowaways.
CW: Explicit BDSM, Teasing/edging, stripping, (tail???) knife play, the equivalent of thigh riding for these two (but on Sonya's tail), naked female with not kind of non-naked female (there's like barbie physiques/anatomy involved with Sonya), and minor mention of a blood kink (unsurprisingly Jennifer's kind of a freak too). Basically monster-fucking (maybe robot-fucking? Or would it be cyborg-monster fucking???). A mix between praise and degradation kinks. Sexual fantasies. Really freaky behavior coming from these two. But very enthusiastic consent! Also vulgar language. And whatever else there is.
I’ve tried my best to research the sex aspect of it all, and even if I don’t believe it’s all accurate I think I did good with what I could find.
TW: Slight mentions of referenced murder and maybe cannibalism (Sonya's got a human brain inside a very non-human body so I don't know what lines that crosses). And minor implications of a toxic dynamic. They're both possessive people who suck so bad.
With that out of the way, I hope you do enjoy what I've written below the cut. This will officially be my first smut that I've publicly published. I'll be sure to reblog this post with the link to the one that'll be posted on my AO3. Also I'll be publishing another Kinktober Oneshot shortly after this one from my @the-silver-chronicles blog, about the main couple of that series, Silva and Faith. So don't be alarmed by a random ping from an icon you may or may not recognize.
Title: The Tails That Bind
Series: Life, Despair & Monsters (Love Death + Robots)
Character/s: Sonya/Sonnie | The Apex/Khanivore (re-interpreted canon character with OC qualities), Jennifer, Dicko (referenced in passing) and Sir Enigma Malvolio (referenced OC).
Words: 5,635
She heard her before she saw her; the click-clack of heels on marble closing in to their quarters.
Sonya remained where she was though; hanging from the ceiling in the expansive space that was refurbished to specifically accommodate her massive form, the high walls adorned with deep claw marks and scrapes she entrenched her talons and tail spikes into. Certainly, better than the restrictive pod or the dirty paddocks.
In contrast to her usual straightforwardness, when it came to dealing with her "mistress" of all people, Sonya made an effort in entertaining her more dramatic flairs.
If only to piss off the shrewd woman.
The door opened with such force that when Sonya peeked through her only optic, shutters uncoiling from her lens, to witness the blonde slam the door shut with a ferocity that immediately turned her on.
Someone's already pissy today, Sonya noted as she continued to observe with growing interest.
Jennifer turned around, short blonde hair barely touching her shoulders, noticeably a little frazzled with a few more wild strands curling out than usual. Her yellow rose still managed to survive staying pinned in her hair in spite of the fact Jennifer looked on the verge of ripping her hair out.
Her brows were furrowed, her face was scrunched in anger and a lovely snarl adorned her lips. Blue eyes darted to her white laced gloves, ripping them off as she mumbled curses under her breath. Sonya's optic lingered on the curves of her body, covered only by the golden dress Jennifer preferred to wear.
Sonya preferred when she didn't wear anything. Ogling Jennifer had been the closest her human brain could get to experiencing arousal within a body that wasn't designed to feel it. She had to get creative and tamper with many of the strange machinations and codes Malvolio left in her cursed Beastie body to at least have her body acknowledge the feelings.
In spite of this, she was still so far from reaching her goal of actually feeling the satisfactory conclusion of pleasure.
"-that old fuck!" Sonya was brought back to reality by the enraged outburst from Jennifer.
"Which old fuck are you referring to this time?" Sonya spoke in a voice more mature and sophisticated than her original gruff and accented voice, the crackling of the speaker embedded in her throat alerting Jennifer to the other presence in the room.
Jennifer's alarmed blue eyes pointedly gazed up to meet her gleaming red optic. However, she relaxed once she saw it was just Sonya, who uncoiled herself to lower her body, but refrained from leaving the ceiling just yet.
"It's one of Dicko's closer business partners," Jennifer told the Apex, kneeling down to take off her heels, "And I thought you were down in your workshop."
That doesn't narrow it down to who it is at all, Sonya wanted to retort, but chose to respond with, "I was, but it's so hot down there that I decided to seek out the coolest room I knew of."
"The wonders of an air con," Jennifer remarked, moving over to her vanity desk to set down her yellow rose from her hair.
Sonya rolled her optic at the snide comment, and returned her attention back to the source of Jennifer's sour mood, "Which one of Dicko's partners had it been? Ross or Carmen?"
"Ross. Carmen took a vacation, lucky bastard," Jennifer grumbled about the latter, though the former's name was spoken with disgust, "He was countering every proposition I made. Questioning my ability as a successor to Dicko's business. And attempting to belittle me in front of every one of those weak and cowardly geezers. The absolute gall!"
Sonya lowered herself above the bed, talons underneath her jaw as she watched her mistress rage. If she could, she'd be squeezing her thighs together to add a little friction. Unfortunately, her body wasn't included with genitals, and rubbing her thighs together in this body would just be pointless, so she could only visualize the image to force herself from screaming internally.
"The fucker was also leering at me. Almost all of them were," Jennifer continued, sitting down onto the foot of her massive mattress with a huff.
"I don't blame them," Sonya replied, extending her neck so her head was close above Jennifer, "Your body is desirable. You're probably the only woman in their life they can jack off to. I know that's what I'd be doing."
Jennifer abruptly turned with a face full of red; not blushing red, but pissed off red.
"Oh, fuck you," she replied, standing up to move away from Sonya and the bed.
"You'd have to beg me for that," Sonya said in a sing-song rhythm, chortling.
Jennfier crossed her arms as she stewed in her anger more, "This is serious. I know they're conspiring against me. Honestly, I wish I could have them all dead by tomorrow morning."
Sonya piqued at that, red optic widening with optimism.
"You know, if Ross is being so bothersome," she spoke up, her next words a suggestion, "I could eat him for you."
Jennifer turned to look at the beastie, opened her mouth to chide her, but closed it as she considered the idea, a smile crossing her lips, until a frown swiftly replaced it, and she shook her head.
"While I certainly wouldn't be against the idea," she told the Apex with sincere consideration, she rebuked the idea, "I can't just make an example out of him. At least not right now. I require his cooperation to gain access to his assets, and if I killed him now, it'd harm my reputation and standing with the other partners. And without them, we won't have a chance of finding Malvolio."
The very name of that... thing made Sonya's entire nervous system shudder, the dark thoughts resurfacing. She let them fester at the edge of her mind, before dispelling them back to the pits. She'll let them re-emerge once they found the creature; let him face the result of his violation towards her body.
Jennifer huffed out a sigh, which returned Sonya's attention back to her even as she went to make her leave, "I need to let off some steam."
Sonya tilted her head as she watched Jennifer pause just a step away from the door. The woman's blue eyes glanced back to the beastie, gaze following the Apex's elongated muscled arms, thick metal-plated tails, their twitching rattles near the piercing pincers and closed sharp jaw.
She bit her bottom lip, her hands slid down to her hips as she slowly strutted back over to Sonya.
"You know," Jennifer said as she reached the bed, "I just remembered how I never thanked you for stopping that assassin. And a good beast like you deserves a fitting reward for protecting her mistress so well."
Sonya cocked her head, red optic narrowing down at Jennifer. Sonya remembered the incident clearly; there had been a scorned bidder who lost because of Dicko's fateful mistake of convincing them to bet a lot of money against Malvolio. He managed to slip past Jennifer's guards and got too close for Sonya's liking.
Luckily, the Apex was on Jennifer's patrol guard, and she had spotted the glint of the knife before it had even left its sheath. Fittingly, she gave the man the same end she gave Dicko when saving her mistress; a biting introduction to her maw.
But that had been several weeks ago.
"Is that so?" Sonya inquired, wishing she had a brow to raise.
Jennifer only nodded, wetting her petite lips. She slid two fingers on both hands underneath her dress' loose straps, letting them fall limply down her arms to expose more skin. She reached behind her back, tugging the zip down behind her dress so she could loosen her front, exposing a small amount of cleavage to the Apex.
Sonya was surprised of her own self-control when her lens zoomed in on the skin, how calm and collected she managed to breathe. She restrained herself though; she had too much pride in herself to lay down and roll over like a dog.
No, she had a better idea.
"Oh, don't bullshit me with your "reasoning" darling, you just want me to fuck your brains out until you forget your own name and can't remember your troubles in the morning," Sonya retorts, her talons touching the ground as she leans over the bed, bringing her head closer to Jennifer's face.
There was no fear in her mistress' eyes, only a waiting expectation and a carnality that involuntarily made the Apex shake in excitement. Sonya continued, "If you think you can flatter me into getting between your legs, then I encourage you to resume because it is working."
Jennifer grinned in triumph as she proceeded to pull her zipper down further, but halted when Sonya added, "However, as I said before, it'll require you to beg."
Jennifer scoffed and shook her head, "I'm not doing that. You fuck me, or you don't. Your choice."
Despite her confidence, Sonya saw through her act and huffed out a disappointed steam of air as she started retracting backwards, "Oh well, I guess I won't-"
With her bluff blown, Jennifer's eyes widened as she reached forward for the Apex's face, pleading, "Wait! Fuck, fine, please fuck me. Please plow my pussy with your long, flexible and magnificent tongue until my mind goes blank. Make me scream your name each time you make me cum. I'll do anything you want, Sonya."
Sonya wished she could grin just as badly as she wished she could get wet right now.
She decided to put an end to her mistress' misery.
"Since you begged so desperately for it, I guess I have no choice but to fuck your brains out," Sonya concurred, and hummed, "But I'm curious... you'll do anything I want?"
Jennifer paused, narrowed her eyes in challenge, and responded, "Yes. I'll... try whatever you want, as long as I get fucked in the end. Sound like a fair exchange?"
Sonya nodded and tapped a talon on her chin in thought. There weren't much things her body could be used for during sex that wouldn't be detrimental to Jennifer's health, with exception to her tongue and the rattles under her curved blades that tipped her tails.
Although, she recalled the night she and Jennifer had met and began their cooperation, specifically to the moment where the Apex had Jennifer restrained with her tails, That has been something I've wanted to do again.
Gaining an idea, she replied, "You know, I've been wanting to try some bondage on you."
Jennifer's face scrunched in confusion until Sonya's tails disconnected from the walls and awaited by the Apex's sides. There were three in total, all tipped with dagger like pincers, and two rattles that resided near the curve of the blade, which she's been allowed to use like a vibrator before.
Jennifer once again bit her bottom lip while she thought of those around her body.
"I have no complaints," she tells the beastie, though frowns at the state of the bed, "Though I'm not getting naked until the bed's cleared of your mess."
Sonya knelt up so she could get a better look at the bed. Her optic immediately spotted the dust and chips of the ceiling that managed to fall down.
Without much patience, Sonya took the solution of using her tails to tip the bed to the side and shake off all the unwanted variables, before setting it back down normally.
"That better?" she asked.
Jennifer looked at the newest state of her large bed, which now lacked the pillows and blankets that were unceremoniously tossed off. Though seeing that the silk sheets remained on, all Jennifer responded with was a calm yet exasperated, "Sure."
Sonya positioned herself closer to the wall of the bed's frame, knelt down so she wouldn't cover most of the bed's space when her head laid down, while also keeping her tails free and ready.
Jennifer crawled onto the bed, swaying her body seductively while she made her way over to the Apex's head, which allowed the straps of her golden dress to loosen further down, just above her elbows. The front of her dress barely hung close to her chest, and Sonya swore she felt her brain overheat when her optic focused on the view of more of Jennifer's cleavage barely hidden by the loose clothes.
Jennifer got close enough to the Apex's face just to lean upwards until she sat at her bare heels, one hand going behind to zip her dress down the rest of the way, while the other kept the front of her dress from falling down. Sonya slightly tilted her head up so her optic could capture everything.
"I know how excited you've been for this," Jennifer purred as she gazed into the red hue of Sonya's optic, "I know you've been craving to see these again."
She pulled one strap down all the way, and then freed her arm of the other, before grabbing her the front of her dress and pulling the golden gown down, slightly jiggling free her petite perky tits. Sonya shook with a passionate eagerness at the visual image, just about all her mind could express through the body without pouncing onto Jennifer to forgo the bondage altogether.
She wanted to restrain herself, to prolong this just long enough to enjoy the experience and ensure she actually succeeds in listening to Jennifer's only demand.
"I know you've missed them," Jennifer swayed her chest, catching the Apex full attention. She grabbed hold of her breasts, massaging and giving her tits a pleasing yet playful squeeze as Sonya observed, winding herself up while putting on a show for her beastie. She gasped as she flicked her nipples, gently twisting them between her fingers as the tingling sensations caused her thighs to rub together.
She was enjoying herself now, and from how she looked at Sonya's quivering form, she knew the Apex enjoyed this show as well.
Jennifer stood up, dragging her hands over her breasts as she brought them across the skin of her body, the ticklish senses stirring a heat to coil within her. She performed a sensual dance in view of Sonya's optic, bringing her hands down to her hips where her dress hung closely, thumbs digging under the gown's hem, teasingly dragging it below her pelvis.
She spun around in her erotic sway, much to Sonya's surprise, but leaned down as she dragged the rest of her dress over her sexy ass, nothing worn underneath. She let the golden gown fall the rest of the way and glanced back at Sonya's now widened optic. With a pleased smirk, Jennifer gave herself a resounding smack against one of the cheeks.
Sonya's talons scraped against the marble floor. She clenched her jaw as she clutched hold over her fraying self-control, deciding that Jennifer's teasing needed to end here.
Thankfully, it was just about time Jennifer finished her little striptease for Sonya, and her blonde mistress knelt on her heels, dainty hands grabbing hold one of the alien protrusions coming out the Apex's head and underneath the narrow chin of her sharp jaw respectively, intentionally pressing her petite breasts against the optic as she leaned her head down to a small slit beside Sonya's frame to sultrily whisper in her audio receptors.
"What now, Sonnie?"
The lustful softness of her nickname snapped Sonya out of her patient observations, and she lifted her head up out of Jennifer's hold so her red optic could meet her mistress' blue eyes below.
"Now, I'll require you to turn around," Sonya instructed, her tails moving closer to the bed, "Make sure your arms are crossed behind you, and legs spread apart."
Jennifer turned around as instructed; not without doing a little show of shaking her ass temptingly as she settled into the position. Sonya was fueled with even more excitement of the opportunity of returning some teasing of her own.
Jennifer crossed her arms behind her, and Sonya immediately coiled her middle tail around the smaller woman's waist which then extended to her dainty hands, earning a surprise yelp from her mistress as her arms were secured tightly.
"Do you trust me?" Sonya let the question out softly at the shell of Jennifer's ear, her middle tail's blade carefully and gently stroking its cool steel-like tip down the human's back. The bladed pincer soon curved to brush one of mistress' lower cheeks, sensing her body clench at the sensual contact on instinct while the other tails began to coil under and around her thighs, "To release your doubts? To let go of all your inhibitions?"
With me, Sonya left unsaid. She shunned the thought... the very emotion infecting it, aside to the corners of her mind. No need to mix feelings with pleasure. Especially when she was nothing more than a thing to Jennifer...
As both tails snaked up from Jennifer's thighs to her upper body, the left pincer delicately scraped along her stomach while the right began to curl around her right breast with the blade leaving a ghost of a kiss to her jaw in passing.
Jennifer gasped out a light moan when her middle tail began to rub against her wet cunt, in a back and forth motion, ensuring the blade's sharpness did not touch the soft flesh. Soon the sleek metal was glistened with her slickness.
"Fuck, yes," Jennifer answered approvingly, rocking her wet cunt in unison of the tail. She bit her bottom lip to suppress another moan as the left and right tipped tails coiled around her tits, the appendages lightly playing with her breasts with deliberate twists and squeezes, the blades lightly kissing along the sensitive flesh.
Sonya focused on the priority of not piercing the skin with her tipped blades. She teased the flesh with an expertise akin to a surgeon, with her only intent of not cutting in and letting Jennifer bleed.
God forbid Jennifer cums early to the sight of her own blood because Sonya got sloppy. The Apex wanted to prolong this for her own sense of pleasure as well.
Soon her tails lifted up Jennifer, much to the smaller woman's surprise. Sonya raised her above the beastie's head, claws brought on to the bed in case the Apex had to catch her.
Slowly, she rotated Jennifer upside-down so her optic could get a better look at her reactions. To her delight, Jennifer squirmed in her grip, like last time. Unlike last time, the cause of her squirming came from the vibrating rattles that grazed closer to her swelling clit, the tipped blade positioned to poke above her trimmed blonde pubic hair.
Jennifer whined when the rattles on the left and right tails began to move, flicking her erect nipples between the vibrating pair on both coiled tails. She tried to arch her back into the vibrating sensations, as well as attempted to widen her legs so the rattles on the middle tail would have more space, but Sonya kept her restrained in position, brushing the rattles to her wet puffy pussy but never staying for long. She was completely at Sonya's mercy.
Much to the younger woman's growing frustration. A frustration that transitioned into a filthy, primal need.
Sonya was enticed by the desperate whines that escaped Jennifer's mouth, her red optic hungrily filling it's view of her elevated bare body; held up by her, restrained by her, receiving and being denied pleasure from her.
She focused on the blonde's gaping pouts, faint blush forming across her face, her blonde hair flowing downwards. Sonya's tongue flicked within her closed maw at the sight of sweat beginning to break from her mistress' body, who uselessly rutted her hips in the air to reach the teasing rattles, how pronounced her small breasts were from their bound state and the slick juices surrounding her pussy.
Sonya's entire system felt a fluctuation of pleasure within herself from the visual stimuli. It wouldn't be enough to ever reach a satisfying conclusion, though it was fun, nonetheless. When her audio receptors picked up pleading mewls coming from Jennifer, Sonya knew it was nearly time to settle her part of this exchange.
"What was that?" Sonya playfully inquired, listening to the words being interrupted by soft gasps whenever her rattles vibrated too close to her sensitive cunt and swollen clit, "I can't hear what you’re trying to say over such lewd sounds darling. Could you perhaps speak up?”
Through shaky breaths, Jennifer swallowed her murmured pleas and choked out a strained, "Sonya... I don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to cum. Please, it's unbearable, let me cum already. Stop teasing and fuck me!"
Sonya ate up her begging cries; she could see a glimpse of forming tears at her eyes. She briefly wondered if she should just wait long enough for her mistress to start crying, so she could bring out her tongue and lap up the falling tears. She hadn't kissed the woman's face with her tongue in a while, it could be a nice change of pace to show she cared-
As quickly as that idea came, Sonya dismissed the thought with a visceral fear? rejection. If she did that, then she wouldn't stop at the tasteful tears; she'd continue stroking her tongue along Jennifer's sweaty and salty unmarked flesh, until she got down to between her thighs and fed on the fluids there.
She could make Jennifer cry from pleasure then, sure; but she didn't want to use her tongue to have the woman undone, she wanted her mistress gushing from her very touch.
Sonya refocused on Jennifer once more, her helpless form cursing underneath her breath as her breasts were continuously played with while her pussy received nothing but teasing touches that edged her on but denied her true release.
Sonya hummed, feigning pondering in thought, as she took a sweet moment to bask in the wanton whimpers that were caused by her.
"How badly do you want this?" Sonya asked her, bringing her red optic to Jennifer's pleading blue eyes, "How desperate are you to want to be undone by a terrible beast like me? Say it..."
Those two husky, imploring, eager words made Jennifer shiver, feeling hotter. Through the haze, she rasped out with a sense of urgent need she's never spoken in before, "I can think of no one else who can satisfy me like you..."
Though caught off-guard, Sonya was not unsatisfied with the answer. She absorbed those words into the very core of her mind, sparking a renewed sense of determination.
"Well then," the beastie said, Jennifer's words lingering on the precipices of her audio receptors, feeling her "heart" pump faster, "I think you've endured enough teasing. You deserve this for being such a good, patient girl."
Jennifer shrieked in surprise when the vibrating rattles were buried against her slick folds and sensitive clit. However, when the initial shock wore off, it was replaced with an alluring moan, followed by a symphony of gasps, the short bursts of pleased shouts, and the sweet curses that she managed through her panting. She closed her eyes and started to arch her back again, and this time Sonya adjusted her tails grip to accommodate Jennifer's position.
It wouldn't be long until she was finished. Though Sonya decided to speed up the process by taking advantage of one of Jennifer's weaknesses; her voice.
"You should see yourself," Sonya husked out, her voice thick with lust, "How fucking enrapturing you are right now. Above here, bound by me, fucked by me, you look like a goddess. Oh, your little noises make it so tempting to ravish your flesh and pussy so I can make you scream louder."
Jennifer failed to suppress the whiny, pathetic whimper with a tender lip bite, and Sonya snickered at the reaction.
"Oh, but it's true," Sonya responded, the quills along her back standing up, elated by such noises as she continued, "Though I never realized how restraining you like this could bring out even more beautiful noises from you. I could just have you like this whenever you're being so bratty. Rip that dress off. Bind your limbs. Tease your wet cunt, edging it as you rut like a bitch in heat chasing after that final release. But it'll never come. More accurately, you'll never cum."
The image of Jennifer on her knees in this bedroom, writhing in the restraints of Sonya's tail, desperately begging her to end the torment, brought a familiar sense of sadism into her system. However, she did feel an odd sensation of heat rise in her body.
She returned back to the assignment at hand, the heat radiating at the back of her mind as she hummed and said, "Oh can you envision it, Jennifer? How much of a writhing, filthy mess you'd be? You'd be left unsatisfied, without release. Not unless you crawled onto your knees and begged so pitifully. Maybe alone. Maybe not. But tell me, if you were to do that, should I give in and fuck you like I do now?"
A resounding and gasping "YES" was Jennifer's response as her hips jutted at the rattles faster. So close now...
"Such an enthusiastic answer. You must be so close now," Sonya noted, not noticing her own jaw gaping open as her red optic recorded Jennifer's unravelling, "You've taken me so well this far. Letting me taste you, ruin you. So strong and resilient. With the most perfect body just for me. You do these filthy activities so impressively, as a naughty girl like you should. Oh, I love the way your flesh bruises and reddens and scars from me. I love the taste of your tears, of your sweat and of your juices. And I love how loud I make you scream and cry and moan. Especially when the only word coming out of your mouth is my name. Makes me fantasize doing it all in front of everyone. What say you? Perhaps on a live hologram broadcast during a Beastie tournament? In the storage unit for all the passing guards and personnel to listen to? Or maybe in a meeting with those morons who dare to ogle you-?"
Sonya was interrupted by an abrupt and approving moan, which slipped into a pleased humming smile from Jennifer.
"Oh? You like that idea? Is that what you want?" Sonya inquired with an endeared curiosity, surprised by the quick nod that followed, "Does it turn you on? At the thought of me fucking you in front of those leering senile men? My, my. What a dirty little slut you are, wanting to be humiliated by me so desperately that you would want those old fucks to see how good I make you feel. Or perhaps it because you want to show them that you're mine. For me, and me alone. No one else. Maybe in one of your next meetings, I'll accompany you. And whenever you go to speak, I'll be behind you, my long, flexible and magnificent tongue lapping at the nape of your neck, nibbling at the flesh with teasing little bites, my claws digging at your glimmering dress. One tail snaking under your skirt. Maybe I'll leave small cuts in passing, letting that lovely crimson run down those fine legs of yours. But once that tail reaches its destination, I'll let the vibrations tease your wet cunt until your legs begin to wobble."
"I'll tear open the front of your dress, let those ravishing tits of yours breathe within a room where they've been dreamed about for so long, except the only one having any fun with them there will be me," Sonya had a tail squeeze promisingly around one of Jennifer's tits as emphasis, "I'll have another tail play with one while my tongue lavishes the other. Don't worry, I'll have my last tail free to ensure none of them stop us, and no one leaves, bound by their pathetic fear. I'll rip your dress off, exposing your body to them all, let them see how dripping fucking wet you are for me, and I'll pick you up, bring you to the table, splayed out like a feast ready to be dined. But only for one though."
She pressed her closed jaw to whisper, "None of them will touch you. We'll show them how well you take me. How beautiful you sing my name. How much you enjoy being fucked dirty by me, and how good of a naughty girl you are to me. Show them you find more pleasure whoring yourself to a beastie than being touched by any of their limp dicks. Reveal your deadliness to them, unleash your claws and mark my metal with your scratches as I leave my own marks along your beautiful body. I bet their hearts would give out at the sight. I don't think their weak pride could take it. The fact you'd cum to a- disgu- terrible monst- beast like me, wouldn't you agree, my sexy- gorgeous- beautif- fucking - goddes- belov- m-!"
Everything was so unbearably hot. Her mind seemed to be on some kind of fritz, just like her voice box. Diagnostics on the system returned with nothing of issue, nor of any errors.
And yet Sonya felt so unbelievably strained from the task at hand. As if exhaustion of all things was overcoming her body as she continued to bring Jennifer closer to her release.
And her voice box. She didn't understand what was wrong with it. It bugged out, replacing words she wanted to say with those she'd never in her life say to Jennifer. But most importantly...
Was that my voice? Not her current voice, the one she was forced to adopt, but the one that Malvolio stole from her.
It didn't matter much, focusing on it was too much of a strain while she was fucking Jennifer at the same time. She refocused her efforts in bringing her mistress over the edge.
Luckily, she didn't have to wait long.
Her words, in combination to the unrelenting rattles fucking her pussy and fondling her breasts, had culminated in Jennifer arching her back more while screaming out Sonya's name, accompanied by the gushing squirts onto the Apex's tail.
Witnessing the result, Sonya swiftly stopped the rattles and brought Jennifer down to the bed safely. She managed to lay the woman down onto her front before her usually durable limbs failed her. She caught herself from laying on top of Jennifer, and carefully positioned herself to lay down by Jennifer's left.
Both beastie and mistress heaved for air, the activity exhausting for both parties involved, much to Sonya's bafflement.
They laid beside each other, just for the moment, to catch their breath.
Jennifer opened her blue eyes to just gaze at the Apex, eyes taking in Sonya's strangely exhausted form. She brushed a strand of her now messy and sweaty blonde hair aside, let out a little laugh, and said, "That was... amazing."
Sonya grunted in agreement, unable to currently verbalize. She did use enough strength to bring the tipped middle tail to her view, the rattles and the curved blade under it glimmering in Jennifer's juices, not dissimilar to the woman's dress.
She opened her jaw to bring her tongue out, cleaning up the slick fluids. She rumbled approvingly at the sweetly sour taste.
Her audio receptors picked up on the soft sound of a slick pussy being gently stroked. Sonya looked over to see Jennifer still staring at her but with a newfound hunger. Sonya noticed that her ass was slightly bent up, with one of her hands massaging her cunt.
"You look so hot when you do that," she husked out, and Sonya felt her exhaustion dissipate when Jennifer asked, "Do you want to put that tongue to better use?"
Sonya tilted her head, her lens focusing on Jennifer's face, "Round two? Now?"
"Don't you remember what we agreed on? "Until my mind goes blank", "until I forget my own name" and "can't remember my troubles in the morning"," Jennifer recalled, and in that sultry mocking tone of hers, "Or are you tapping out after round one?"
A new edge burned within Sonya, and she leaned up, looking down at Jennifer's nude body, asking, "Is that a challenge?"
Jennifer though playfully shrugged, spreading her legs wider as she continued stroking herself with hushed breathy moans.
Sonya took the opportunity to place her right hand over on the other side of Jennifer, until she was above the woman. She retracted until she was staring at both her mistress' sexy ass and her glistened pussy.
Blue eyes glanced to Sonya's observing form, and removed her slick-covered hand, caressing it on one of her ass cheeks before giving it a smack to entice the beastie, as she returned her hand to under her chin.
Sonya let out an amused chuckle as she took out her tongue. However, she pressed it from her mistress' tail bone all the way up her spine, the heat and wetness of the elongated and rough bio-mechanical muscle causing Jennifer to gasp and shiver from its texture.
Sonya lowered herself so she was right on top of her mistress, her gaping jaw releasing a soft exhale of hot steam brush at the woman's ear.
"You're not going to make it to any meetings tomorrow," Sonya informed her mistress.
Jennifer only smirked at her words, not returning a reply as she got comfortable. The beastie retracted back to where her mistress needed her the most.
Though unnecessary, Sonya couldn't help but lick around her mouth as she prepared to satiate her hunger, as well as Jennifer's.
[A/n] And from there on, Jennifer decided bondage was an excellent excuse to get out of a meeting she didn't want to attend the next day.
I wanna say that I may have gone a bit overboard, but overboard is just in-character for them (at least in my series).
#series: life despair & monsters#fic: the tails that bind#love death + robots#sonnie's edge#kinktober 2024#oc: sonya#ld+r sonnie#ldr sonnie#ld+r jennifer#ldr jennifer#otp: femme fatale and the apex#as stated before I'm not the biggest smut writer as I prefer more plot and lore stuff#so my motivation regarding smut often fluctuates inconsistently while i vibe better with plot heavy stories#although i did try my best to fit in at least a little bit about their characters and a tiny mention towards their main plot#this is like an in-between scene for them.#canon or non-canon? doesn't really matter given the context of all my series.#here's me writing about a ship that is non-existent on ao3 and fanfic.net and even wattpad#like i've only found one fic that actually pairs these two from their source material of these two#you'd expect the toxic yuri writers to be writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of these two but NO instead i find sonnie paired with male ocs#even though in the show sonnie's only shown interest in one woman and kissed one woman and was going to fuck one woman too.#that being jennifer... before she stabbed sonnie through the skull that is (she lived but jennifer and dicko don't)#i tried to at least include some of my main series' themes into this oneshot.#most specifically something i expand upon from the source material: that being “the violation of the human body”#(which more often than not focused on women's bodies which isn't something i want to ignore even if i want to explore men's own too)#like fuck dicko in my series specifically and in the source material#but sir enigma malvolio is the definition of “i'm going to mutilate you so fucking traumatically and i expect you to thank me”#malvolio may not violate people sexually (something both jennifer and sonya have experienced) but he will change their bodies irreversibly#which is just as bad as sonya is now a mass of bio-cybernetics made to fight and jennifer is one clone of a dead girl dicko had pimped out.#anyway when dicko and malvolio are no longer in control of jennifer and sonya respectively (one 6ft under & the other gets out of dodge)#and since jennifer wants control of her life while sonya wants to be of use there is a constant power imbalance that shifts between them.
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My bnha phase is threatening to return with a vengeance :l
#i have NO idea what's going on in the manga anymore but i got body pillowed by nostalgia alright#last time i heard it turned out that toga and ochako were the real deal???#man i remember all the ship wars in the fandom#and now i witness it again in the genshin one#i used to religiously read bnha fanfics on wattpad before genshin came#and now i realize that i've missed out on all the good yandere stuff#15 year old me HATED bakugou because of how much he resembled my own bullies#but now.. oh i see the yandere potential in him now#i'm going to start scouting for yandere bnha content from my mutuals when i have the time <3#harmonysan.txt#bnha#mha
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Me trolling through Live Journal because I ran out of Fic i want to read and I wasn't gonna go to Wattpad
#and Trust me I tried to get into Wattpad#But Good God Fix whatever shit you've got going on there This UI is terrible#also there seems to be all of four heishin fics on Wattpad#i'm not sure how to use this website on my phone anyway#These are the problems in my life#personal
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Sometimes, I like to enhance the writing process by leaving ridiculous comments on my document as I write. Then, when I go back through to edit, I get the added entertainment of being reminded of whatever clownery popped into my head as I was writing.
Some of my favorite examples from the chapter of TLWHAHD that will be uploaded on Monday are below the cut :)
#the lady will (hopefully) avoid her doom#tlwhahd#writing#wattpad story#clownery#writeblr#writers on tumblr#i'm my own favorite comedian#i've always said that about myself#i exist for my own entertainment#the 'go cry about it southerners' thing was a reference to the stereotype about how people from the south (US) really love sweet tea#also the clowns who are contending for the position as liz's number one stan are the other characters#i swear i love my characters#most of them anyway#but they're absolute clowns if they think they are bigger fans of the protagonist than me#i made almost everyone love her for a reason#because she deserves it#anyway#i'm procrastinating working on my story#as one does
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As we trickle on down the line with more people becoming more aware that there are some people out there in this world using AI language programs such as ChatGPT, OpenAI and CharacterAI to write positivity, come up with plotting ideas, or write thread replies for them, I'm going to add a new rule to my carrd which I'll be updating later today:
Please, for the love of God, do NOT use AI to write your replies to threads, come up with plots, or script your positivity messages for you. If I catch anyone doing this I will not interact with you.
#i'm an underachiever — out.#this is the bad place#we are just begging for Rehoboam or the Machine from Person of Interest to become our new reality at this rate#because there are practically no laws regulating AI learning yet#so it's like the wild west in a digital space#people taking incomplete fics from ao3 or wattpad or ff and asking AI to finish it for them AS IF IT'S NOT STRAIGHT UP PLAGIARISM#google docs being used to train the AI so i guess i'm gonna have to find a nice notebook and just write everything by hand#also#THIS HAS NOT PERSONALLY HAPPENED TO ME YET#i just saw a mutual who said they saw another mutual who saw a PSA which means that SOMEWHERE it happened to someone#i have also seen a few answered asks float across the for you page discussing the concerns about people posting AI generated fic on ao3#and arguing against or in defense of readers using OpenAI to finish writing incomplete fics that were abandoned by the author#which means that it must happen and at the rate things are going it is only a matter of time before it catches up to the rest of us#mel vs AI
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it's soooo fucked to think about how everything that's ever happened in your life is connected, no matter how mundane. what do you Mean my 5th grade teacher's seating arrangement is the reason i lived past the age of 13
#it goes. have to sit next to the girl who's really into animal jam > get REALLY into animal jam bc of her > discover wattpad through animal#jam youtuber fanfic > spend all my time on it > discover those marysue appraisals that used to be so popular > read all of them > run out#of generalized ones and end up stumbling across one specifically for kuroshitsuji ocs which is titled in a way where i don't think it's#media-specific until i'm already reading it > find it really funny > go to the library the next day > figure 'what the hell. i'll check the#dvds of this show out.' > the dvds are checked out > 'well in japan the adaptations better match the source material' (<<< no idea where i#got that from but it's HILARIOUS that i tried to apply it to kuroshitsuji of all franchises) > take out the entirety of the manga > go#insane over it to the point where i had brought like. 5 volumes to school and started fr Crying over the fact that i finished reading them#and still had hours to go before i could go home and start a new one > make a tumblr account bc i'd been possessed w a love of 2 characters#from the weston arc and no one on wattpad was making content that wasn't centered around the anime or musicals > my phone breaks in 7th#grade and it gets replaced w a new one which works better and thus i can't get around parental controls which means no more wattpad >#tumblr works wayyyy better on my recently acquired school ipad than on my phone so i start using it more > summer between 7th & 8th grade i#consider throwing myself out of a third story window > 'wait. who will tell my tumblr mutuals that i'm not ghosting them. i just died.#no one knows my password and i don't want to be rude' > i close the window > i'm still alive to this day#romeo.txt
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opening wattpad feels like this every time:
#i would know i used to write there#my early glory days sigh#i only go there now to read bad fics for laughs#i'm sorry wattpad's trash it's the truth 😭#wattpad#fanfiction#fanfics#sunbloom talks
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The worst part is that this fic is for someone that I would like to consider my friend (not that it takes much for me to consider someone my friend) and I don't want to accidentally massacre their favourite characters!
#it's not for them as in I want to gift it to them#more like our shared fandom is the first one in which I'm comfortable enough to actually write fanfiction#and the characters seemed pretty easy to get on paper#and now I really want them to like what I write#and me and my perfectionism worry that they'll hate us if the fanfiction is bad#how did my 11-13 year old self manage to start writing a bellamione fanfiction on wattpad#with only the vaguest of ideas where she was going with this#and still managed to have fun?#whilst I'm over here having at least a rough plan and still being completly stressed about everything#OVER A FUCKING ONESHOT!!#tbf even back then I only got about two chapters posted before I just stopped#Jo's fanfictional adventure
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I think we should stop using fantasy as an excuse to keep defending lazy and/or self-indulgent writing.
Flaws are very importantin story-telling. They have been important for centuries. Even overpowered characters like Gojo Satoru and Superman have flaws. Gojo's specifically has a harmartia that lead to his uh downfall.
Lets not propagate this kind of idea. I despise wattpad-esque writing/fanfiction. A bunch of people do, actually.
Although, there's nothing wrong with creating stuff like that. It's just that we have freedom of speech and we can criticize and give out opinions whenever we want. People have been critiquing books, movies, shows etc. since forever.
#like#yes it's not like magic actually exists (in a way that no one can actually doubt it's existence)#and that 12 yos can enter tournaments and fight against grown men or whatever shounen trope is popular#but I say we have to retain some sort of realism. Like how those 12 yos are not emotionally mature#and that the scars they where because of the things theyver been through show through their thoughts#dialogues and actions#yeah I'm talking about hxh#writing#prompts#ao3#wattpad#novel#EDIT: I used the wrong in a tag. I also meant#I apologize#English is not my native language#I have a long way to go before I call myself extremely proficient at it lol
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I'm gonna say it now, before I get into what I actually want to say because this fandom can get wildly toxic; but this applies to ships too. (can we please stop fighting over them already?)
Fan creations have long since disregarded canon, and I don't see why the UTMV would be exempt.
I love writing Nightmare's Gang as sympathetic characters who love one another and would die to keep the others safe. I sometimes indulge in reading and writing Dream as a bad brother. Sometimes I do write Nightmare as a bad person.
An old saying of mine that I used to use rather frequently, which came about due to the nature of multiverses (especially with characters like Ink, Error, and their variants) , is that there will always be a multiverse where all your headcanons are canon!
There's not a right or wrong way to see this (or any, really) fandom! That's the beauty of fan works! It's all how you want it to be!
Something I see a lot in the UTMV fandom nowadays is people talking about canon. "Canon Nightmare wouldn't act like that," "Ink is morally gray," that type of stuff.
The issue is that UTMV started out as a community project and will continue to be a community project. Fanon is incredibly important to certain pillars of the fandom. People are allowed to interpret the characters differently!
It's important to recognize the source material and respect it, but you must also respect different creator's stories. This isn't a community based around one big canon source material. It's based around countless comics, animations, characters, and fanfics that have been shared for years now.
People are not just going to abandon ideas they have loved for years because of the canon of the source AU. I LOVEE seeing canon Nightmare stuff, but I love dadmare or any other interpretation just as much!
In the UTMV fandom, canon and fanon literally have to coexist. It's no fun otherwise.
#hugging this post#squeezing tight and never letting go#makes me happy#those who knew me back when i was on wattpad#they know i used to write ink with almost normal emotions#yeah i was a lot younger and newer to the fandom#but he was a comfort character at the time and i saw him as a highly sympathetic character who struggled with his emotions sometimes#i write him a bit more morally gray than i used to#but that's okay#i have new headcanons and ways to write ink#not to mention how i write horror#he's so far off from his au's canon and i'm well aware#i want him to be soft and cuddly with a mountain of food related issues#because he's just that#soft but broken by his world#utmv#in regards to the sorta out of place ship mention#i used to ship crossmare quite a lot#still fond of the ship with how i see both characters#anyway#someone tried to verbally fight me in my dms saying cross would never and that he would be with dream#earlier on#before i wrote nearly anything for this fandom#i did ship cream#and got jumped by a crossmare shipper#the twins have a major shipping war that i refuse to partake in#i now firmly believe that cross would choose to remain single#nightmare and horror might make a cute couple#and dream belongs with blue and ink#but that's just me
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About the AO3 "No Guest Comments for a while" warning
If you're not following any of AO3's social media accounts you might be in the dark as to what kind of "spam comments" have engendered this banner at the top of the site:
These spam comments have been posted about a great deal on the AO3 subreddit for the past couple of days. Initially they comprised a bunch of guest (logged out users) bot comments that insulted authors by suggesting they were using AI and not writing their own fics. Some examples, from the subreddit:
But it then escalated to outright graphic porn images and gifs being posted in comments, again by logged out 'Guest' accounts. Obviously, I'm not going to give examples of those, but between these two bot infestations, AO3 has clearly decided to act and has temporarily closed the ability to post comments for users who are not logged in with an AO3 account.
Unfortunately, this means that genuine readers who don't have an AO3 account won't be able to leave comments on fics that they enjoy.
If you are a genuine reader who doesn't yet have an AO3 account, I strongly suggest getting yourself on the waiting list for one. More and more AO3 authors are now locking their fics down to registered users only - either due to these bot comments or concerns about AI scraping their work - which means you're probably missing out on a lot of great stuff.
Hopefully guest commenting will be enabled again at some point soon, but I suggest not waiting until then. Get yourself on that list.
Wait times are going to be longer than usual at the moment, due to the current Wattpad purge [info on Fanlore | Wattpad subreddit thread], but if you're in line, then your invite will come through eventually.
Update: There's now a Megathread about this on the AO3 subreddit.
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I can work on three things currently, not counting any art that occurs;
Expand on Heartbeat Program (there isn't a set amount of times Yuuto will die, except it's going to be at least thrice)
Work on ocs (of their own universe, despite still being within a ygo setting. Based partially off of Dark Duel Stories' card crafting system)
Academia headcanon exploration (started with It's My Duty to Reap What You've Sown), or how an Academia soldier pretends not to be one (also oc based, because it's set wholly in Heartland.)
#marwospeaking#'wow Marwo. that's a lot of ocs' thanks I use them primarily to explore and expand upon settings#The concept doesn't make for highly readable fanfic. because of how fanfic works (you have to get attached to a wholly new character)#but they're very useful for when you don't want to mess with preexisting character lore for the sake of writing#in theory I can work on Toukuwa Mikan. but all 13 or so of her completely unposted chapters are going under rewrite right now#(on Mikan) She mirrors Yuuya as a way of exploring characters with pro duellist parents. but that meant he got brought up often.#... so often that you'd think she was obsessed. and it did NOT fit her in the slightest so. whoops#Honestly oc fics make it very hard to work in canon characters smoothly. I dearly wish I had Wattpad writer confidence but alas. I don't#even hinting towards a berserk Yuuto in It's My Duty to Reap What You've Sown felt shoehorned until I forced myself to keep it#in the name of It Would Make Sense They'd Notice A Yuuri Doppelganger#Shun's brief mention also felt shoehorned. but yknow. where Academia is in Heartland. Shun is usually there too#I'm rambling again ;v; whoops. In other news it's too hot to go outside today. I think I'd melt TTvTT
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I'm procrastinating fuck
#the only reason I'd even think about interacting with someone who has an ov/erh/aul pfp#please enlighten me with your I'm sure glorious takes#I'm sure you have so much to add to this conversation#yeah yeah fictional morales don't equate real morals but he is#you know.#a child abuser- like an unapologetic child abuser#he sees nothing wrong with the way he turned a little girl into a bioweapon for his incredibly hypocritical cause#in terms of devotion and obsession with his boss I could almost see it#but didn't the syndicate LITERALLY tell him 'no that's not what I want' and he just kept going like 'anything you say boss'#so the guy wasn't even doing it for his boss he was just using his boss as a cover#smh#he's just a guy who wants to write y/n yakuza wattpad fanfic#despite being routinely and constantly told by his boss that his actions weren't acceptable or reflective of the claims he made for them#or at least told a couple times#it's been a while since I read and I would never pick it back up any time soon#but I remember thinking the boss wasn't a bad guy#maybe not the kind that would be horrified upon learning his deciple is a child abuser#but at least the sort of person who didn't actually want to return to a hollow past#the worldbuilding in that series left a lot to be desired#but ov/erh/aul was just a bland character#I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING FUCK
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