#I'm not couching this in a million words about how other identities also deal with this or have it worse or any of that

[draayder]

it's so difficult to talk about the societal shift many transmascs face once they're read as male I'm white so I had a very gentle shift especially compared to many POC, but I still felt it. interactions with women that were previously simple now required additional care and effort. gestures that had previously read as friendly now seemed intimidating and predatory. it sucks to lose that solidarity that I didn't think twice about before. it sucks to have to consider if I'm going to make someone uncomfortable by acting the way I always have, because I'm still the same person and it doesn't seem fair that I have to change how I exist in the world in order to be a man

and I get it. believe me I get it. I was on the other side of those interactions before, I know how intimidating it is to have a man talking to you in a way where you can't quite be certain he isn't flirting. that he's not going to take things badly. you have to be closed off or else you're accused of leading him on. I'm not blaming any of the women for this. this is another problem brought about by the patriarchy

but for any trans men or transmascs out there in the thick of that change and feeling uncomfortable and weird about it, you're right. it isn't fair, it does suck, it shouldn't have to be this way. you're not whiny for feeling this. it gets better over time and you learn how to exist again, but it's rough for a while. hang in there