#I'm not all that happy with how it turned out but i'm done tweeking it

[kata-sans]

Raising Stripe

Chapter 16

Tweek was always the first person to wake up. As a child, he always expected to wake up early to help at his family's shop. Now that he is an adult and doesn't need to go into the shop, he still continues to wake up early. It has become a habit he can not break.

Tweek didn't mind waking up early, he built his routine around it. He would start off by turning on the coffee machine and preparing breakfast. Usually he would feed their pet guinea pig, but that had slightly changed since the change in species.

Since Stripe had become human, the baby would normally wake up around the same time as Tweek. As soon as he would hear Tweek in the kitchen, Stripe would whine and cry out, “MA-MA!”. Tweek would try to dissuade him from calling him that, but the baby would ignore him.

That morning Tweek began his normal routine, he turned on the coffee machine and listened closely for the sound of Stripe waking up. When he didn't hear anything, he decided to let the baby sleep in a bit while he started on breakfast. When breakfast was done, he was concerned that Stripe had yet to call out. He decided he needed to check on the baby immediately for his peace of mind.

Tweek quietly opened the door to the nursery, he was disappointed when he didn't see Stripe sitting up. The baby was still laying down as if sleeping. Tweek was considering leaving him when he heard a faint whimpering sound. Tweek quickly turned on the lights and moved to inspect the baby.

He was horrified when he saw the baby's face. Stripe's cheeks were bright red and covered in tears. He was shivering and quietly whimpering. He looked absolutely miserable and in pain. Tweek scooped the baby into his arms panicking when he felt the baby's skin burning hot to the touch. “C-CRAIG! CRAIG, SOMETHING’S WRONG!”

Craig ran into the nursery concerned. He found Tweek crying hysterically holding the baby in his arms. He noticed how limp the baby was rushed to Tweek's side.

“Craig he's burning up! Do something!” Tweek cried holding the baby closely. Craig nodded and went into the kitchen to gather supplies. He began to fill up a bowl of water and found clean rags in a drawer. He carried all the supplies to the living room where Tweek had migrated with the baby.

They quickly worked on bringing the fever down. Stripe continued to whine and cry out to Tweek and Craig. They tried to feed him a bottle, but for the first time Stripe was uninterested in eating. Craig decided he needed to call Kenny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kenny was carefully counting the drops he was adding into an unstable mixture when his phone rang. He accidentally squeezed the entire contents into his mixture and only had seconds to toss the mixture out the window before it exploded. Happy to escape death for a moment, he picked up the phone that was still ringing, “Hello this is Kenny.”

He pulled the phone away from his ear when he heard Craig Tucker yelling through the phone. “Whoa dude, I can't understand you when you act like Tweek. Now tell me what's going on… okay so a fever…chills…not eating… Listen, I'm a genealogist not a doctor.. no it is not the same! Dude, Stripe is fully human, he needs to see a doctor. I'll call Butters and see if he can set you up with a doctor we can trust alright.” Kenny sighed as he hung up.

“At least he didn't come here and punch me.” Kenny joked to himself. He looked through his contacts until he found Butters’ number and called him. He informed him of the situation and Butters agreed to help.

Ch15

Ch17

[aziraphalesrarebooks]

Neighborly Affection

Anthony J Crowley was four years old the first time he met the tiny Ezra A Fell; he wasn't impressed.

He was forty-six when he found him again in a bookshop in Soho.

The Childhood Friends, Flower Shop, Christmas, Friends to Lovers fic nobody asked for in the middle of October.

Read here or on Ao3. 

Anthony J Crowley was four years old the first time he met the tiny Ezra A Fell.

He was small, wrinkled and had grey-white curls atop his tiny little head. When he leaned in for a closer look, bright blue eyes stared back at him while his small fingers tangled in his hair and tugged.

Both boys cried after the encounter.

Little Anthony hadn’t been impressed and told his mother as much when they arrived home after the visit. She had tutted and given him a biscuit, promising him that one day the two would be great friends.

 He didn't believe her.

The second time he met Ezra, his mother was babysitting, taking care of the small infant while his mother went shopping for that week's groceries. She had sat him down on their sofa and gently laid the tiny bundle in his arms. This time, instead of his hair, Ezra had wrapped his small fingers around Anthony’s and held them tightly, inadvertently gaining the approval of the young boy in the process.

 He was utterly taken with the baby and had asked his mother if they could keep him.

 She politely told him, "no."

He’d proudly told Mrs. Fell that he had helped his mummy take care of Ezra and that he was very strong; for a baby, that is and asked if they could visit more often.

As the boys grew, Anthony became protective over the little boy.

  When Anthony was in third grade, Ezra started kindergarten. Anthony held his hand as he walked him to his class on the first day, and subsequently every day for the rest of the year.

 He made sure to show him all the best spots on the playground and taught him how to properly kick a football.

He helped Ezra with homework, although, he seemed to have a rather firm grasp on it, or with making new friends; as he’d always been better at it than Ezra.

They were an unlikely duo, despite their age difference, the two got along well and could play for hours while their mothers visited with one another. Often playing under the old apple tree in Ezra's back yard or helping their mothers bake.

 Christmases were the best, they could spend hours out in the snow and ice, only returning to home when they were completely and utterly frozen. Anthony especially loved the days when Mrs. Fell would make them mugs of cocoa topped with extra marshmallows while they thawed beside the fireplace, munching on Christmas biscuits and listening to records.

When Anthony was in sixth grade; his mother fell ill.

 Mrs. Fell did her best to visit her dear friend often, Ezra would keep Anthony company, taking his mind off things for a few moments and allowing him to just be a kid.

By the time he was in eighth grade, she had passed away.

Ezra had been devastated for his dear friend, the older boy who’d he’d grown up with now seemed so lost. He was distant and sad, so unlike the Anthony he knew.

They moved away from the sleepy little village of Tadfield not four months after her passing. Too heartbroken to stay in the home that she’d kept, they moved away to London.

 Ezra missed him terribly.

 When Crowley was in tenth grade, his father remarried. The woman was cold, spiteful and so distant from what he remembered of his warm and soft mother that he missed so dreadfully much. Ezra and his parents had been invited to the wedding. Anthony had recognized him immediately and had all but run over to them. He’d hugged Mrs. Fell so tightly she winced and when he pulled away, he pretended not to have tears in his eyes.

He and Ezra had spent the rest of the evening together catching up and eating more cake than either of them should have.

They both promised the other they would write, and they did for a brief time, then as it usually happens, the letters got fewer and further apart until communication ceased completely.

   When he graduated, he received a package from Mrs. Fell in the post containing fifty pounds and a framed picture of his mother, Mrs. Fell, Ezra and himself smiling widely, eyes full of mischief and mirth.

 He'd cried that night holding the framed photo, missing simpler times and his mother dearly.

 Years later, it still hung proudly in his living room. ��

  Anthony, now known almost exclusively by his last name; Crowley, hadn’t thought of Ezra Fell in many years with more than a passing memory. As many adults do, he had forgotten what had been important to him as a child. The times he did stop to think about the Fell’s, he reflected on how perfect the world had seemed during the days spent together with his mother and her best friend and Ezra.

  He’d done well for himself, he’d become a florist of all things and had opened a shop in Soho called Nightshade. He had worked hard, saved and pinched until he’d had earned enough to secure the building and the small flat above it. He’d worked to make it his, painting the shop and arranging the shelves just so. He made his workspace sleek and tidy.

 His work had become popular, even making it into several of the top bridal magazines for arrangements he created for a few celebrity weddings.

His assistant; a woman by the name of Anathema Device, was the only other person he would work with. He felt she kept him grounded, she also happened to make a good cup of coffee.

He was proud of the life he’d created for himself, he had a home, his dream job, a few close friends who meant the world to him and a little snake he’d jokingly named Crawley.

 There were times when he missed his Mother and wished he liked his father and stepmother enough to visit. He often wondered what she would think of his choices, would she be proud of him? He felt that she would. His father had been livid when he'd left the hospital, he had never really wanted to be a doctor, but it had been expected of him. No, at forty-six, he was much happier as a florist than he ever had been as a doctor.

 It was one of those days when he had been thinking a bit too much of his childhood, the days laying out under the huge apple tree in between the Fell’s property and their own. The way the sun seemed to warm his soul all the while listening to Ezra’s insistent chattering or playing some silly little game. As they got older, they would read quietly as their mother's laughed in the kitchen.

 He sometimes wondered what the boy had gotten up to. He had once attempted to find him on Facebook but had never been able to find him. He had probably married some local woman, had a few children, maybe a dog. He hoped he was doing well, that he was happy.

 He was pulled from his musings of times long past by Anathema. “Crowley? When do you need the delivery of roses by? They just called and said they could be a day late.”

 He ran a slender hand through his shocking auburn hair, “Shit, at least by this afternoon so we can start prepping for the wedding this weekend. Call them back and tell them early tomorrow morning at the latest. Tell them if they do this again, we will find a supplier that can meet deadlines.”

 She nodded and walked into the back office.

 Across the street, the relator took down the For-Sale sign in the window of the old tea shop. He briefly wondered who had purchased it, it needed work. The previous owner had done little in the way of maintenance and whoever purchased it would need to put in quite a few hours to make it inhabitable again.

A month later, a work truck arrived.

New windows were put in, repairs were made to the roof and to the building. Once they were finished on the outside, it looked much the same but refreshed. From what he could tell, the inside was being heavily renovated as well.

It was mid-October when a moving truck arrived outside the shop. He knew there was a flat above that shop as well; he’d briefly considered buying it since the space was a bit larger than his own shop but the amount of work needing to be done on it was outrageous. If the new owners were moving in, that must mean that they were close to opening.

He decided to take a nice bouquet over soon, once they were settled to introduce himself. It never hurt to be friendly with the neighbors, especially when they could direct customers over to you.

 A week later, various vans arrived delivering what he assumed was the merchandise they planned to sell.

A bookshop, he concluded by that afternoon.

He’d yet to see the new owners, only a small blue sedan that had been parked beside the building since they’d moved in.

Yet another week passed, and Crowley was beginning to wonder if the shop would ever open. He'd decided it was likely a young couple, pilling all their funds into their dream bookshop.

They still didn’t have a window sign up and neither he nor Anathema had yet to catch sight of the new owners.

  Two more days passed before he spotted any signs of life beyond stocked shelves and an old blue car.

 “Do you think they are ever going to open? If they don’t open by the holidays, I don’t see them lasting the year.” Anathema said as she arranged a new order of succulents, they’d gotten in on the window sill.

 “Move the two bigger ones into the middle of the display, there. But you’re right, maybe they took too big a risk in all those repairs. I told you the place was a wreck when the old owner left.”

 She nodded towards the window, “Don’t look now but I think that might be him!”

 He caught sight of a man around his own age, he had white hair and dressed like his grandfather. Still, he was attractive enough from what he could tell.

 “Exactly what I expected from a bookseller.”

 “Crowley, really. He looks nice enough.”

 “That he does.”

 "He could be single."

 He spluttered, "Oi! That's no way to speak to your boss."

 "You're more than that and you know it," she said, mussing his hair as she walked into the backroom.

 "Hey!" he replied, using his fingers to comb through his hair.

 The next morning, he could tell someone was in the shop. Lights were on and he had seen someone walk past the newly formed window display several times.

 He wondered if he'd been wrong. The man looked about his age, but he'd yet to see any sign of anyone other than the blonde.

 He put together a nice arrangement, nothing too personal but a nice welcome nonetheless, and made his way across the street.

 He knocked twice.

 He heard shuffling, he moved to adjust the floral arrangement, obscuring his line of sight as the door swung open.

 “Oh, hello. I’m afraid you have the wrong address.”

 He propped the vase against his chest and reached out a hand blindly to the other man. “Definitely the correct address, I own the shop across the way and wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood. My name is Anthony Crowley, but you can just call me Crowley. Everyone else does.”

 He felt a warm hand slide into his own, firm and strong, “Anthony Crowley? Was your mother’s name Beatrice? I do believe we’ve met before.” He said taking the arrangement and leading him into the shop.

 Curiously, he followed.

 The other man placed the flowers on one of the tables up front and turned around.

 His usually quick-thinking brain stuttered to a halt, the man was gorgeous. Bright eyes and plump lips and the softest looking hair he’d ever seen. His hand tingling from where they’d just touched, and...

 Then it hit him.

 Oh.

 “Oh, it’s you! Ezra?”

 Ezra laughed, a sound so familiar and foreign it made him ache. How long had it been since he’d heard that laugh? It was deeper, different but the same.

 he felt a pang of nostalgia wash over him as he thought of all their adventures as children.

 “Quite well, what a surprise to see you! You must tell me how you’ve been. The last mother heard you’d become a doctor like your father.”

 He wrinkled his nose, “I did, just wasn’t for me. I’m much more suited to life as a florist. I’ve been at it… oh, about ten years now. What made you decide to open a bookshop in Soho of all places?”

 “Well, it’s always been a dream of mine. I have visited Soho many times throughout the years and oh! I just came to love it, it felt right. I was a professor of literature for many years and I came to find that I was quite good at finding rare works. It seemed fitting.”

 It didn’t surprise him; from what he remembered of Ezra, he'd devoured books faster than a plate of his mother's biscuits.

 “It’s a nice area, are you married?” he blurted out.

 The man beamed, “Not at all, I thought I might have come close once, but he turned out to be dreadful. It’s just me and my books.” He laughed nervously, “What about you dear?”

 “I was married briefly but we were not good together. We divorced after I started as an intern and I’ve been mostly single since.” He shrugged, "I'm not complaining."

 "If I may ask, what did you practice?"

 "Pediatric oncology, too many sick kids. Too many bad memories, I wanted to help but..." he trailed off.

 "I understand." Crowley was surprised to believe him, he'd been there through his mother's cancer.

 "Well, uh, I better get going."

 “I’d love to catch up, I haven’t gotten my kitchen up and running yet or I would offer you something to drink,” Ezra said sheepishly.

 Crowley laughed, “What about dinner tonight? My treat. We can catch up then.” He pulled out a business card and a pen, scribbled a number on the back and handed it to Ezra. “Call me, I close at 7 tonight. We can go to my favorite place two blocks over.”

 Ezra nodded, "See you tonight, then."

 "Tonight."

 At 7:30 PM, Ezra Fell and Anthony J Crowley walked down the street together. The air was cool, even for this time of year. Their hands brushed accidentally as they moved out of the way of a couple passing them on the sidewalk, Crowley has been surprised to feel a lingering tingle where his warm hand had grazed his own.

 “I should have mentioned it was sushi, are you ok with this?” he asked cautiously.

 He wiggled, Ezra still seemed to exude excitement when food was involved. “It is a favorite of mine!”

 Crowley nodded and held the door for the other man.

 The night went well, they’d gotten along just as well as they had as children.

 Crowley had learned that Ezra’s parents had both passed away recently, his father first then his mother not long after.

 He learned that he’d originally wanted to go into the ministry before a Shakespeare class had inspired him otherwise. He had sheepishly admitted that he would have likely been a terrible priest but was a relatively good professor and had enjoyed it immensely.

 Crowley told him about his strained relationship with his father, about the marriage his father had convinced him would be the best for his career. How she had cheated on him with his father on multiple occasions. How he'd been good as his job but couldn't take the suffering and death.

 They spent time together often, dining out and going to plays or concerts. They fell into a familiar pattern, nearly every night was now spent in the company of the other.

 And despite everything, Crowley found him incredibly attractive.

 Perfect even.  

 He was intelligent and kind, steadfast in his beliefs and was just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.

 He also had excellent taste in wine and didn’t mind sharing his finds.

He was a bright light in a world of darkness, and he found that he was addicted to Ezra.

 They were sprawled out on Ezra's old sofa, wine glasses full.

 He was content.

 And quite suddenly, he realized it had come full-circle. That he loved Ezra Fell, that the childhood love he’d felt for the boy he was, held nothing in comparison to the love he felt for the man sitting next to him.

  In the blink of an eye, two years had passed.

Two years of being head over heels for his best friend, two years of dreaming about that soft, unyielding hand in his own, and two years of knowing with the utmost certainty that Ezra would likely never feel the same way for him.

 November quickly rolled around, and the shops of Soho had already begun to decorate for the holiday season. Crowley had been taking orders for poinsettias and other Christmas arrangements for most of the day.

 Anathema and he sat discussing the upcoming orders and how to best get them delivered quickly and efficiently so they wouldn’t be left clogging up their window space when she nudged him in the side. “Your boyfriend’s coming over.”

 “Ngk. He’s not… we’re not. Anathema” he whined. She had been teasing him for months since she had sussed out his feelings for their neighbor.

 She grinned and stuck out her tongue as the bell rang over the door. "You should just kiss him already, he likes you too."

 "Go away!" he hissed, under his breath as Ezra walked into the shop.

 “Oh, will you look at the time, it’s my lunch break.” She said tapping her watch, then stood up, grabbed her bag and walked out the door heading towards her favorite café.

 He turned his attention to Ezra, “Mr. Fell, how may I assist you today?” he teased.

 “I had hoped to steal you away for a bit, but it seems Miss. Device had a hankering for caffeine… or she wanted to see her young fellow before he left for the day.”

 Crowley laughed, it was no secret Anathema had a thing for the klutzy barista. Newt was a nice enough man, but he certainly didn’t see what she saw in him. “She has asked him out three times already and he still hasn’t gotten the hint. She told me she’s going to just kiss him and drag him to bed if he doesn’t catch on soon.”

 Ezra raised an eyebrow at that, mumbling something under his breath that sounded like “I know the feeling.”

 “Hey, did you want any arrangements? I’m about to place the first order for poinsettias, mistletoe, and evergreen.”

 He sighed, “I suppose, whatever you think best dear. I do love seeing young couples getting caught under the mistletoe.”

 Crowley nodded.

 “And done, I'll bring it by when everything comes in. I think we can close for lunch a few minutes early, Anathema should be back soon, and I’m starved. What did you have in mind?” he grabbed his coat and keys from behind the counter, taking a moment to lock up.

 “Sushi?”

 “Sounds good.”

 During the walk to their favorite restaurant, their hands accidentally brushed not once, not twice but three times. he wasn't sure why Ezra kept running into him, but his poor heart wouldn’t take it if it happened again.

 Ezra took a sip of his tea, swirling it around in the mug. "What would you say to Christmas this year at my parent's place? We haven't gone home in a while and it would be nice to get away for a few days."

 Crowley grimaced, "I haven't had Christmas in Tadfield since... well, you know."

 "We don't have to, you can come over to mine."

 "You know, one of the things I have missed most about Christmas was the biscuits and cocoa. Sure, why not, let's do Christmas back home."

 Ezra grinned and popped a piece of fish into his mouth, wiggling happily as he did so.

 November soon became December, and both rarely had time to leave their shops, often staying open until 8 or 9 to keep up with the near-constant influx of customers. Their meals consisted of takeout and copious amounts of wine to survive.

  Then, finally, it was Christmas Eve. They were closed for the next three days, as Christmas had fallen on a Saturday that year and would be closed as usual on Sunday.  

Crowley had come to find that he was looking forward to his trip to Tadfield. It wouldn’t be the first time they had returned to Tadfield, often using the cottage as a retreat when the bustling London streets became too much, but it was the first time he'd gone by during Christmas.

Ezra left the night before, Crowley would be meeting him the next morning if he was able to beat traffic. He'd packed the essentials, fed Crawley and headed on his way.

By the time Crowley arrived, it was nearing noon. He noticed the wreath on the door and smiled, Ezra loved Christmas. As children, he remembered the Fell house decorated beautifully in reds and greens. Mrs. Fell always had Christmas biscuits on hand and made the absolute best hot cocoa of anyone he’d ever met.

He gathered the two gifts he’d bought for Ezra along with the extra wine and goodies he’d picked up before leaving London, he managed to open the door and push through before being hit with nostalgia.

 It smelt like his childhood, and as he took in the interior, he noticed decorations that hadn’t seen the light of day in years were out and twinkling as brightly as they had many moons ago.

 Cinnamon candles were burning, and he could smell the freshly baked biscuits wafting from the kitchen.

 He was so overwhelmed, he didn’t notice the shy smile Ezra flashed him.

 “Wow” was all he could say, “Uh, wine?”

 “I take it you like the décor? I got carried away, but Mother always made it so festive, it seemed wrong to only get a few things out.”

 “It’s perfect.”

 Ezra beamed, the room felt brighter somehow. His heart ached, he loved him so much. Being here, with the memories of the past and present made him want, the ache settling in between his ribcage. He wondered what his mother would say if she knew that he'd fallen in love with her best friend's son. She would probably tease him and run over to tell Mrs. Fell.

They made dinner together, Crowley built a fire and put on some old Christmas records Ezra had found while decorating. Before they both knew it, they were dressed in their pajamas and sipping on hot cocoa.

 “You know Ezra, I think this is the best Christmas I’ve had since we were kids. Do you remember the biscuit exchange? Our moms would spend hours decorating and baking then you and I would sneak out handfuls? As a child, I was sure we were unnoticed, but I think they left that plate out just for us.”

 Ezra chuckled, “I believe you are correct in that line of thinking, it would be difficult not to notice two loud little boys barreling into the kitchen.”

 "I used to think of those moments often, so many of my memories were made in this house. My mother truly loved your mother, they could spend hours together all the while you and I were busy causing trouble."

 "I suppose we take after them in that way" he grinned.

   Conversation quieted, as they enjoyed the company of the other while listening to the fire crackling and popping, Christmas music playing softly in the background.

 Ezra sighed, Crowley’s eyes were closed, and he had a warm grin plastered to his handsome face. He stood up and walked over to the small tree; it was the only one he could find but it had worked perfectly well. The lights twinkled and shone, casting a warm glow on the room.

 He picked up the gift reverently, fiddling with the paper as he walked back to the sofa. The package had been wrapped beautifully, he’d taken his time.

 It had to be perfect.

 This could make or break everything, he sighed.

 Crowley’s eyes popped open when he felt the couch dip as Ezra sat back down. The other man was sitting stiffly, he looked nervous. His cheeks were flushed, and he refused to meet his eyes. “Ezra?”

 “I just want you to know, this doesn’t have to change anything. I just, well. I thought you should know.” He passed the red and gold package to Crowley, atop the package was a small bunch of mistletoe.

 For a brief moment, Crowley considered what Ezra would do if he held the greenery above his head and kissed him.

 He looked at it curiously before delicately opening the box, nestled inside was an ornament of all things. It was beautifully crafted, an angel with white hair holding an apple in their hand with a snake that looked suspiciously like Crawley wrapped around him. His golden eyes met blue, Crowley's brows were knitted together in confusion.

 Ezra looked away, flushing as he did. “It reminded me of us, I hope you know how special you are to me, Anthony. You are my oldest friend, I must admit before I knew it was you, I had hoped to get a chance to meet the attractive man across the street. Then, you came over and introduced yourself and I feared I would ruin everything. I have never known a world without you in it, even when we didn’t see one another for all those years, I would think of you and hope you were doing well. Then you waltzed into my life and I have never wanted so badly.” He was fidgeting with the buttons of his tartan pajamas, not looking up.

 “You, are you? You want me?” he breathed, baffled at the thought his feelings could be returned.

 Crowley felt a warm hand softly wrap around his own, entwining their fingers.

 Ezra swallowed hard, “I do, very much and I do hope you want me too.”

 Crowley nodded, arranging himself to be closer to the other man. He reached out his other hand to rest on Ezra’s face, his thumb brushing over his lips and rubbing circles on the apple of his cheek. “I love you, Ezra.” He paused, watching closely for his reaction, “Would you mind, that is… may I kiss you?”

 Ezra sighed in relief, a beaming smile blossoming on his face. “I would love nothing more than for you to kiss me, Anthony Crowley.”

 As kisses go, it was soft and sweet. Uncertain and new, their noses bumping from time to time as they fell into a rhythm.

 Out of breath, flushed with swollen lips, Crowley pulled back, resting his forehead against Ezra’s, “Happy Christmas.”

 “Happy Christmas, Anthony.” He leaned over to kiss him once more, his fingers finding his hair and tangling themselves in the gloriously soft tresses.

 He briefly pulled away, “Oh, Crowley?”

 “Yes, Ezra?”

 “I forgot to say, I love you too. I was dreadfully distracted by your lovely mouth.”

 Crowley snorted and laughed, capturing Ezra’s plump lips in another kiss.

 Anthony J Crowley was four years old the first time he met the tiny Ezra A Fell; he wasn't impressed.

He was forty-six when he found him again in a bookshop in Soho.

 He was forty-eight when Ezra A Fell became his boyfriend.

And he was forty-nine when he became his husband.  

[trickster-shi]

Okay so. I've read your home across the universe series fully, and I'm busy with my second read through. It's just so good. I'm waiting for my AO3 account to set it up and be able to actually bookmark and comment that way but I seriously need you to know how amazing the whole 'verse you've created is. Reading it and seeing all the updates pop up has been the highlight of a very bleak year.

I absolutely love your writing style, it captures everything in such a perfect measure and mix of the emotional, physical, thoughts, actions etc. It's honestly incredible. I can picture everything so clearly as I read and it's wonderful.

I especially love the way you characterise everyone. Even while making the 'verse your own and tweeking the characters personalities cuz if their ages and lives and backgrounds, you stuck to the basics of all their personalities and that's an insane talent you have.

I'm a massive fan of Noah Stilinski and the way you write him is literally my favourite written version of him. I eat it up like I'm starving. The whole dynamic and flow of his and Stiles' relationship is brought to incredible life in your writing. I LOVE me some Stilinski fam. The acknowledgement of the ways Noah can fall short while having him do better and all that was awesome.

Also, what first gave you the idea for the series at all?? And what ideas can you share that you might have for it in future? Do you have any headcannons that you have specific to your verse?

Just go ham and talk about your writing cuz I love it and I would love to hear and see more!!!

Loads of love and support!

- Tae

Oh my gosh, Tae, this comment made my morning and made me cry! Thank you for your kind words, I’m so very happy you enjoyed my ‘verse so much, it’s the highlight of my day to know it brought someone happiness. (Internet hugs!) And I can definitely go ham talking about this ‘verse :D

To be honest, I wrote this series because I needed to prove to myself I still could write something, anything. When I started it I was near to burnout. I’d self published a book I’d been writing and rewriting for years, and every draft I wrote for the sequel just did not work. I kept finishing drafts, editing, tweaking, and nothing in it came out right. So I would start from scratch and try again, and again, until I got to a point where it was like…I didn’t know if I could write anymore. I felt like I had lost the ability, like everything I’d ever learned about writing was trickling away and there was no way to stop it.

All my words felt like garbage.

I kept trying because writing has been the main constant in my life and living without it, giving up, was too scary to contemplate. But there was a wall I just couldn’t seem to get past, so I turned to fan fiction more and more to lose myself in when writing left me feeling like a fraud.

I got hooked on time travel au’s and read everything under that tag for Teen Wolf. I also read some superhero au’s, and ideas just started click-clacking in my brain, bouncing off each other, trying to make a picture. I resisted at first because I’d never written for Teen Wolf before, just Supernatural, so I was apprehensive about getting the characters wrong. Iin the end I decided, what the hell. Fanfic was supposed to be fun, I needed something fun, something interesting and new.

And I wanted more Sheriff Stilinski because, hell yeah, he is an AWESOME character and his relationship with Stiles was one of the first things that really fascinated me when I started watching the show. I always wished more had been done with him, there was so much potential. So once I had enough ideas mashed together in my head I wrote Teenage Vigilante Witch fast and hard. I didn’t let myself sit too much on it. In fact, it was finished before I started posting and I got the whole thing up in one day and then just sat back and marveled at the fact that I’d finished something. Finished it, threw it out into the world, and didn’t let my perfectionism get in the way for once. And it grated, because that story was (and still is) incredibly rough.

But I proved I could still write. That gave me hope.

Then the comments started pouring in. It was like discovering what water was like after wandering a desert for an eternity. The kindness, the encouragement, the love that came through from everyone who read it was amazing and I couldn’t believe it. That initial validation warmed me and commenters wondered if there would be more. I was still gun-shy about sequels, especially since I hadn’t written the Sheriff’s POV yet. So Case 405 came about as testing the waters with his POV and inner voice, and that was well received, so I sat down to figure out what else I wanted to explore, because I loved playing in this world and I knew there was more to tell.

Before I started on Whistle in the Dark, I decided on some parameters for the series to keep it narrowed down and deliberate. I have a bad habit of wandering sometimes, and losing the plot, and then getting myself stuck, which was part of what happened with the sequel I wrote and burned out on.

I decided that I wanted to focus on the father-son relationship, as well as the budding brotherly relationship between older and younger Stiles. I wanted to explore the canon trauma Stiles came with and to build off it for what I changed, because so much of his suffering was swept under the rug. I wanted to dig into what it would mean to be transported to a parallel world with no hope or point in returning, how that would effect someone, how they would learn to build a new life for themselves.

So that became the focus of the new stories and as I built and explored I listened to the comments people were leaving to get a feel for what worked and what didn’t and the feedback was so helpful in how the series came to be shaped. For once I didn’t feel alone on the journey, and it continues to humble and amaze me that so many other people found comfort in the story and loved it enough to keep up with it for over two years. The entire experience taught me a lot, enough that I feel way more confident returning to original stories because my biggest dream is still to be a published author and for my books to support me.

But I’m still going to write fan fiction. Some sandboxes are too much fun not to play in and I have a TW/Firefly series that will be updated soon, as well as a couple unrelated one shots that I’ll be finishing next year when I’m not working on a new original project that I hope to have published by the end of 2023 or early 2024 (fingers crossed!).

As for the future of the series, I have one more story planned to tell in it. More of like an extended epilogue that takes place about seven years down the road for all the characters. That one will complete this series. I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that the Stilinski clan continues to expand a little, the young pack continues to get into shenanigans, the hunters are still sort of around, and the sheriff is still watching over everything with a sharp papa bear-eye. ;) Oh, and Derek and Stiles are even more adorable and supportive of each other (or more obnoxious, if you ask Mini-Stiles, he's got Opinions).

Oh, headcanons. I could be here for days with this, lol! I will say there is one head canon I really hold onto but didn’t use for this series, and that is that Parrish is actually Camden Lahey. I saw that one going around on Tumblr and forgot about it, then saw it again after writing Camden into the story and it was one of those moments I wanted to scream, because that would have been such a cool element to include and for Stiles to grapple with. But I’m okay with how Camden turned out anyway. And Parrish may find a way to appear in the epilogue in some shape or form, we’ll have to see.

Thank you so much for messaging me today, Tae. It was a wonderful present to find after I woke up this morning and thank you for asking me to talk about the series. It truly became a labor of love and it helped me combat the darkness in my own life so I’m so happy it was able to do the same for others. I would not mind doing this again if there’s anything else you want to know.

Thank you again, and I hope you have a wonderful day and/or holiday! <3<3<3

[real-south-park-confessions]

Hey guys, i'm the anon who made the south park deaths post. It was until I realized, hey! i clearly could've done a better job at the writing so....

Part 1

KENNY:

I breathed in the cold, winter air as it escaped through the windows. I smiled joyfully, another great day in South Park.

I hear my mother call my name, "Kenny! Come on out here!" I quickly put on my orange parka and headed out from my room.

"We don't have anything to eat for breakfast today, so you're going to have to wait until you can eat at school." She sighed. I shrugged my shoulders in disappointment, "Okay.." My muffled voice spoke out. My mother brought up the topic of dad never getting a job and began yelling at him to stop reading playboys, and to actually do something with his pathetic life.

I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. Maybe once I get to school It'll be better. I thought.

I. Thought.

I was walking down the sidewalk and hear someone call out my name. I looked up and saw Stan waving at me, alongside Kyle and Cartman just with arguing each other.

I made my way to cross the sidewalk, but halfway, I heard a truck honking.. I could hear Stan screaming, Kyle and Cartman still yelling at each other but louder this time, and feel my whole body shiver.

I felt the tip of the truck touch my parka, as if it was in slow motion.. then it all came crashing down on me. I could hear my bones cracking, feeling my limbs be torn apart by the impact. When I was about to cry, I died. Again.

I thought it'd get better.

I thought.

Why does this happen?

Why does god never let me be happy?

I then felt my body again, and this time I wasn't in pain. I was back, again, and It happened, AGAIN.

I woke up and proceeded to finally cross a sidewalk without dying this time. But something felt wrong. Stan looked like shit, as if someone important just died. Right in front of him. So was Kyle and Cartman, but they weren't as bad as him. Cartman seemed more confused than sad, and Kyle seemed more shocked than depressed. "Hey Kenny." Stan croaked. "You're back."

CRAIG:

What a great day to wake up to. My now, EX-BOYFRIEND just broke up with me because of "personal reasons" and that it just "didn't feel right." What a fucking asshole. I've been dealing with your freakouts just for it to come to this? Thanks, Tweek.

I didn't want to talk to anybody today. I'm just so pissed off right now.

I've never felt so horrible in my life. And i've been through stuff, if you know what I mean. I felt worthless, I hated myself. Why can't I be better? No, there's no point to that.

I slammed my locker in anger. It was so annoyingly loud that It gave me a headache. Of course. I felt someone send a glare over my shoulder. I couldn't care less though, I don't care about anything anymore. Except Stripe of course.

Just as I took my first step, I hear the front doors to the school bust open. It was a redneck. He was shouting in such a heavy Southern accent I couldn't even make out what he was saying. It sounded like gibberish almost. I then noticed the shotgun he was carrying. I began panicking and I stared at him like a deer in the head lights. I finally snapped back to reality when he fired his gun.

5. I turned around and started running.

4. I began crying.

3. I felt useless.

2. I felt scared.

1. I felt...

"Oh."

CLYDE:

I cried my eyes out. I've never felt more sad in my life. My throat burned, my heart throbbed, and I lost.. him.

I threw my fists up into the air, immediately slamming them back down again. "That fucking a-asshole!" Snot began dripping from my nose. "I HATE HIM!" I cried out. "IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT, I K-K-KNOW IT! TH-THAT BASTARD!" I started hiccuping.

"You're worthless."

"You're a piece of shit, Tweek."

"You ruined him."

"You can't even button up your shirt correctly! How dumb can you be?"

"He was better without you."

"He was happier."

"He cou-

"Just stop!" Tweek yelled at me. What was his problem? "Listen, I know I wasn't the best, I know I-I could've done better, and I'm sorry, Clyde!" Tweek sighed. "And you've been sh-shitting on me every day because of it, and I want you t-to stop!" I crossed my arms and puffed out my chest.

"And what are you gonna do about it, fuck face?"

"W-Well, I was wondering if we could talk about it at my place. And hopefully, we can resolve our problems."

At first, I thought hell no! I'm not forgiving this asshole so quickly. But then I had an idea.

I'll just kill him.

I applauded myself in my mind for such a great idea. "Fine." I rolled my eyes. "Th-thank you, it'll be at 8 by the way." Tweek quickly left.

After school was over I began running to my house, running through the newly covered snow. I ran through the front door, and closed the door. "Welcome home, Clyde!" My dad smiled. I ignored hus greeting and ran upstairs. Hearing my dad mutter "You must be in a rush..." His voice slowly faded out as I ran into my room. "Time to prepare." I grinned as I pulled out my laptop.

Time skip brought to you by Kyle's great ass.

I began walking to Tweek's house. I hid my butcher knife in my coat. He'll never notice! I glanced up and saw it. It. I noticed I began to sweat, no need to sweat Donovan! You'll just have to carry his body far out to the forest and no one would notice! Then you'll just leave, easy peasy! Tweek's parents were out on a date, so it was just me and Tweek. All. Alone. Together.

I knocked on the door, and it was opened immediately. "Welcome." Tweek's voice was unnervingly calm. "I've got you your favorite drink, Clyde. Why don't you head up stairs so we can talk?" He smiled. "Okay..." I got a bad feeling. I don't know why but.. I did. Something was totally off. Probably because I was going to kill Tweek and my nerves were just getting to me. So I set that stupid feeling aside.

I walked inside Tweek's room, legos were scattered across the floor. "Oh, don't mind that." I jumped. Tweek was so.. close. Wtf. "I was hoping we could try and build something.." He walked over to his desk and set our drinks down. I sat down next to him.

He held up his drink and said "Cheers?" Tweek smiled. I picked up my drink and returned the gesture, "Cheers." I began to chug my drink. Wow, it sure did taste odd.

I set my drink down along with Tweek. But as soon as I did, I felt my stomach explode. I fell to the floor gripping my stomach. I immediately started to throwing up. "WHAT THE FUCK!?!" I began sobbing. Tweek immediately ran over to me, grabbing my hair and shoving me onto the floor. "S-Shut up!" He growled.

"H-HELP!"

I began coughing blood.

"HELP M-ME PLE-PLEASE!"

I started to sob.

"I'M SORRY!"

I felt extremely light headed.

I started to throw up blood.

I felt like my brain was going to explode.

I just wanted justice.

I just wanted to help him.

Somehow.

But I couldn't.

I-

.

.

.

.

I failed.

okay

[erinhime83]

And the reward for the most useless design picture goes to...the one on the top right, lol. It has its point, but...considering two of the three aren't really main characters, designing alternate outfits for them is, well, pointless. ;P

So, basically, for whatever reason, it was annoying me that I had put Aerona in with Dylan's 'prince outfit' design, although it totally makes sense. And even though its been nearly a year since I did that design, I decided to 'fix' it. (Basically, I had actually done a design of Kai's formal wear, alongside Talia's casual clothes, but didn't like either of what I came up with, so...I never did anything with it.)

With Kai's outfit, I sort of went with the same idea I had with Dylan's, in that it's kinda based off Helian formal fashion, but with a Nereid twist with the high-low hem there. And then, of course, the black three-quarters sleeve under short sleeves. Somehow, it...works? Like, really well. And then the Chucks and the socks because, idk, I just sort of see her always wearing them just because, and I wanted to show that. (Obviously, if it's an actual formal occasion, she'd wear fancier shoes. ^^;) She looks really good next to Dylan there! I really like how this one turned out, even if it's just a design picture of sorts.

The next one was just me justifying Aerona's design (which a tweeked slightly), putting her with the other heirs and what they'd wear on formal occasions. Obviously, Delaney had got the same hybrid Dylan has, and it works! The Aeolians are a little less influenced by Helian fashion, so Alizea is wearing just Aeolian fashion, really. I'm surprised how well it works as well! I also redesigned her to be a Dark Aeolian, because she looked better next to the other two that way, and she looks way more striking. I really like it, and plus, I feel like I need more Dark Aeolians in the story, especially since I made Ta'leah not Aeolian.

Now, both of these are sort of pointless together, since they are designs for Book Two rather than the current book. >.< Butt that's fine. They're still needed/pretty. So pretty.

The last one is the important one. See, when my muse switched over the Earthia, it was hit with this massive urge to color Aerona with markers (of course), and somehow it occurred to me that Ta'leah would also be a great marker victim as well, what with her dark skin and her green hair and all. Plus, I had come up the idea that, since Ta'leah and her father moved to Helios when she was young that she and Aerona were actually friends previously (which is why Ta'leah ends up becoming Aerona's bodyguard). So I thought it would be neat to draw the two of them together!

And with that thought, I was struck with this picture, and...yeah, had to draw it. It turned out so well! I love how Ta'leah turned out especially, probably because I haven't drawn her all that often this way.

Overall, very happy with all these! Maybe more in the future, but how knows. *shrug*

[luckygrimreaper]

I have thoughts about New Kid, I'm sorry (Part 2)

And here’s the next one which is just if I ever did write a formal multiple-chapter for the games this would be a much later scene taking place during the second game to act as a big reveal for the truth of just who Jeremy is and how he ended up in this situation. It's probably one of the most self-indulgent parts of this whole thing not gonna lie. But also I was planning to add more character flashbacks, but you can probably see when I stopped being able to pick specific moments so I kinda gave up, plus I wrote this at midnight since I wanted it down before I fell asleep

Also probably the only one with a proper summary: And on the floor, in the back of his closet there sat a box, innocently marked mementos. However, he did not remember ever looking in this box for as long as he has had it. He realizes now that he doesn't know what's inside it. It's a very unsettling thought. Jeremy pulls out the box and sets it in the middle of his room. He kneels down and opens the box. And just like that, he remembers everything he had forgotten. All the memories that were taken from him.

And it went a little something like this…

And it went a little something like this…

He honestly didn't care about the Xbox vs Playstation debate. PC is the master race and everyone can fight him on it. But he was approached near the beginning by Kenny, who wanted to play as a Princess but was denied this by both other parties. She was going to align herself with one and then betray them for the other to get them to all recognize her rank. However what was a princess without her royal knight? She came to him and asked him to be her royal knight, to fight for and beside her. While he couldn’t care less about the debate, he also couldn't find a reason to say no to her.

When the time came he fought by her side. Though everything turned into a mess because of outside forces. There are still bright sides though, like how while no one was looking at him he got a Playstation for her since she seemed pretty disappointed that everyone was now getting Xbox Ones instead after the whole murders thing. He could almost swear he lost his breath when he saw how she lit up when he handed it over with the simple remark, "For the beloved Princess." And if he blushed when she kissed his cheek then he'll take it to the grave.

And it went a little something like this…

A game of superheroes goes horribly wrong in far too many ways. And so maybe he takes a switchblade meant for someone else to the chest. And maybe he should've stayed in bed. And maybe he shouldn't have gone to confront Cartman after hearing about the others getting trapped. But maybe he was right to do so.

Still wrapped in bandages and blood he walked his way up and through the crowd. And sure there was that stupid prophecy saying only Mint Berry could stop Cthulu, but honestly what did he care? Since when has he ever listened to something like that? And maybe he stood there, broken and bleeding, and talked his way out of this. Looked Cthulhu in the eyes and convinced it to stop, fix everything, and go back home. Maybe he saved the day not with violence, or prophecies, or fate, but rather the power of fucking friendship and diplomacy.

Carman was pissed, but hey, shouldn't have lied to Cthulhu man. And maybe he collapsed in an alley nearby after seeing everyone was safe.

But maybe it was nice to be found while at his worst and not made fun of or doted over. But just helped up. And maybe it was nice to see, once again, for all Craig likes to say he doesn't give a shit about anyone other than Tweek and Stripe, he did care about others. And maybe it was nice to know that others included him, even when he's currently being nothing more than a burden.

And it went a little something like this…

Can you really blame him? Tweek's parents have done so much fucked up shit, honestly it's crazy that he's the first one to do anything. So sue him, when they once again completely disregard Tweek's wellbeing he just fucking punched them. And shit maybe his own parent issues are getting in the way of how he reacts to other people's parents. But seriously he's justified this time! They were super pissed at him, but hey who isn't these days. Least they finally actually emote something other than joy for once.

Tweek was pretty freaked, surprisingly not about Jeremy punching his dad, but more about his parents were going to react. He honestly was expecting Tweek to care about them more. But when he's sitting in the back on top of a box, watching Tweek try his best to clean up Jeremy's busted lip and a bloody nose that his own dad gave Jeremy, Jeremy realized he was wrong. And maybe he shouldn't judge books by their covers.

And it went a little something like this…

He knew, everyone knew. Stan had a problem. Just most people didn't realize that problem didn't instantly go away like they were expecting. But he knew, though that's only because he kept looking at Stan and seeing reflections of himself. So it’s really not of any surprise that he noticed realistically speaking. And if maybe he chose to hang around more. To gently prod, without ever really judging. Who could blame him, really?

And if those quiet moments eventually got Stan to open up and say what was going on, then hey it was for the best. And if Jeremy managed to convince him to start going to therapy, real therapy not whatever shit they're trying to pass off as therapy in this town, then it was for the best. And if Stan finally dumped that bottle of Whiskey out and replaced the drink with soda to help cope, then it was for the best. And if Stan had someone to have his back and figure out gender and sexuality, then it was for the best.

And if a friendship started by accident because one person was concerned about another one day, well then it was for the best.

And it went a little something like this…

Drama has never been his thing, he's always preferred to stick to his own corner of the universe and call it a day. But when Wendy came to him for advice, much like every other dumbass, over what to do about Cartman going into the girl's bathroom, he actually tried to comfort her. Look, he thought the whole thing was stupid and that there was an easy solution to all of this. But he still has a damn heart and so maybe that meant he didn't want to invalid her feelings by saying that to her face.

And so maybe his “easy” solution led to quite a few people realizing they were trans and/or nonbinary. But hey that's not invalidating people's feelings, so mission accomplished. Plus it was nice to have someone else who knew the vibe of just pretty using whichever bathroom would be least likely to have a screaming match start when they walked in. And if the kids formed their own little trans rights group, then hey, more power to them.

And it went a little something like this…

Butters was different he supposed. Everyone called him innocent and naive. But Jeremy thought he was more nice and snarky. He had no idea how he did it, but Butters sure did. Managed to be so many things all at once. Jeremy was glad they were friends. While he could say he didn't understand how everyone else didn't like him, he did. Because it was intentional. And man was that wildest realization he’s ever had. He was caught off-guard for weeks after the fact, still reeling from it.

Because at the same time, it made perfect sense. Because it's Butters, or rather Majorine now. And oh boy did Jeremy have to help her with her hair and makeup at first, but eventually, she got a hang of it herself. That doesn't mean they stopped hanging out solely to work on her hair and makeup sometimes, but it wasn't an everyday thing. And both situations were okay. They were friends, what else more was needed? (absolutely nothing if you asked him)

And it went a little something like this…

There was a kid who lived in South Park, his parents weren’t around much, but he never minded. It just meant he had free rein of the house. And though it was awkward at first to once again be the new kid in another town he knows nothing about, it was the first time he stayed for more than a month.

He couldn’t really be blamed then when at the end of the month he opened up and found maybe this town wasn’t the worst he could’ve been stuck in. He made friends and enemies and sometimes people who were both. But he was happy with his life, it wasn’t great, but it was his for once and that felt like enough.

But then one day his parents returned and stole him away, without even a chance to say goodbye. He stayed closed off from the world. He didn’t dare care about anyone else lest he is taken from them again.

He could never forget South Park though.

He figured it was that, eventually, his parents had enough of running because he wasn’t careful enough. He doesn’t know how they did it, but they found someone who would make the world forget him. And forget everyone did, including him. All he had left was a box of mementos from his time in South Park, but he dared not ever open it.

That day everything was taken from him, even his voice. And everything was taken from everyone he once cared for, their identities, the help he gave, the help they gave him. Gone in the blink of an eye.

He woke up in the hospital. He couldn’t recall what had happened to him or who he was, not even the glimpse of a name. As if he just came out of thin air, no history, no identity. Just a body filled with questions and not a single thought.

The next day though, a woman came in, claiming to be his new foster parent. Argus Kepler. She told him his name and that this small little box she held belonged to him, that was it. He never knew what to think of her, but in retrospect, he should’ve been more than a little suspicious.

For she was the one that made everyone forget. And for all he wants to be angry at her, he can’t, it was never her idea. Besides, when given the chance to take him back to the only place that ever got the chance to be home, she did it. She brought him back to South Park, even if everyone forgot, friendships can be rekindled. She knew it made him happy, so she brought him back. For as angry as he is, for the brief time she was in his life, she did everything she could to make him happy. All because she thought his parents didn’t care enough like they were supposed to. He thinks that’s what being a good parent is, caring, even when no one else would.

He remembers now. He has a voice, a name, a history, an identity. Jeremy, Jupiter, Jacks, all him. One for every side of his gender. One for every game played. He had best friends and sworn enemies. He had a home.

And now there’s only one thing left to do, well scratch that two things. One punch Cartman, two, well, what else? It’s time the truth was revealed once and for all. Take it or leave it, it was about them as much it was about him. They had the right to know.

He packs up the box again and picks it up, he can leave it outside the base while he decks Cartman.

[southpark-sin]

Love & sacrifice: chapter 1

It was cold out in the Colorado mountains but Kenny mccormick was use to it, he stared up at the stars and took a long drag of his cigarette. He wished he could stay out here in the peace and quiet if time allowed but he had already been out here to long as it was. He flicked his cigarette out and ventured back inside the warm house of his best friend.

"Kenny! Kenny, guess what? Tricia said we get to spend the night!" Karen mccormick bounded up to him with a Smile of pure happiness. It broke his heart that Kenny couldnt provide a safe and loving home like his best friend could. He smiled back with what was hopefully a genuine smile.

"That's great Kare bear! Let's go see if the pizzas here." She nodded, still smiling, as she took his hand in hers and led him into the kitchen. The smell of fresh pizza overtook Kenny as they entered the kitchen. His heart skipped a beat when he caught sight of his crush and long time best friend.

Craig tucker was furiously whispering to someone over the phone as he absentmindly put down two pizza boxes on the kitchen counter. Craig's green eyes where narrowed in frustration with his signature scowl and kenny noticed to his delight that his straight raven colored hair wasn't hidden under his signature blue hat tonight. Instead, his hair was messy and unkempt with his bangs falling into his eyes, making him even more attractive. Kenny couldn't help but gawk at how hot craig was as his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest. Craig's eyes met Kenny's and his scowl softened a little and he nodded at Kenny in a way of a greeting. Kenny blushed and smiled back like the helpless fool he was.

Meanwhile, Karen rolled her eyes at her brother's blatant affection for his friend and immediately started eating the pizza happily all the while talking aimlessly about what the plans her and Tricia had for that friday night. Kenny tuned her out and instead raised his eyebrows at Craig in a silent question at the phone conversation craig was having. Craig just stiffly shook his head and rolled his eyes in response. Great. Craig was in a bad mood again and Kenny suspected it had to do with a certain neurotic blonde who loved coffee.

Kenny sighed at the thought, earning a glare from Craig, and tried to push away his jealousy. Avoiding Craig's eyes, Kenny started munching on some pizza without tasting it as he mentally prepared himself for what he knew would be inevitable when Craig was in a bad mood and it involved tweak. His bad moods always involved tweek these days. Kenny hated it with a burning jealousy that threatened to boil over in forbidden words he longed to tell craig but knew he couldn't.

"Hey kare bear, why dont you take some pizza up to Tricia?" Kenny tried to give her a easy going smile despite his stomach twisting in knots. Her eyes lit up at the suggestion and she quickly hugged him, grabbed a pizza box and rushed upstairs to her friends room.

Kenny smile fell as he silently turned back to face Craig, waiting. He knew Craig would talk when he was ready and any prodding from Kenny would only make him shut down and pout. Craig was someone who didnt like to talk about his feelings with anyone until he was good and ready to talk. Kenny suspected that this trait in craig was one of the reasons that craig and tweek seemed to fight so much these days. One of the many reasons they seemed to fight so much.

Craig scowled at him, whispered a rushed goodbye to the other person on the phone and hung up. Craig picked up the other pizza box and stalked to his room without another word. Kenny rolled his eyes and followed. Sometimes Craig was SUCH a drama queen.

Up in Craig's room, Kenny settled on his bed and silently started eating some pizza while the other boy stood pacing around his room, still scowling. He could tell craig was bursting to say somthing but it was obvious he didnt know what to say. After a few minutes of tense silence Kenny began to wonder if Craig was ever going to say somthing. Most of the time craig would talk to Kenny about his feelings and they would work through it together. in rare occasions, however, craig would get so emotional and caught up in his feelings that he wouldn't say anything at all and end up in a bad mood that could last weeks. In those rare occasions was when tweek and craig would fight the most and it left Kenny desperately trying to get through to craig and fix things because that was just what Kenny did. Craig was Kenny's best friend and he would do anything for craig, even it killed him inside.

Without warning, Craig suddenly spun on his heel to face Kenny, fire burning in his eyes.

"He's just so fucking jealous! I keep telling him that I love him and that me having other guy friends isn't a big deal and that I see him every goddam day and we spend so much time together! what more does he fucking want from me?" His face was turning red from the shouting but Kenny knew he wasn't done yet. Far from it.

"He gets so suspicious of everything and I always try to fucking calm him down but it seems so useless to try when he freaks out about every goddam thing! We cant have a moment of peace or go on a fucking date anymore without him freaking out about somthing! I'm so fucking tired if his bullshit!"

"Craig, you know tweek has high anxiety..."

"Your just making excuses for him, ken!" Kenny flinched at the sudden outburst directed at him.

"Look, I'm sorry its just....we've been dating for YEARS, I know this is going to sound selfish but...we should be past this by now! It shouldn't be so dam hard to BE together! It's like he doesn't fucking trust me!"

"Theres no 'should be past' anything in a relationship,

Theres going to always be new challenges presented and you just have to work them out, together. You need to communicate better with...tweek.

I know hes a little high strung and high maintenance but I also know he loves you unconditionally. Sure he gets a little jealous, but that just means he cares about you so much. You guys need to be better at communicating how you feel." Craig just sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I fucking know but it's so hard. Tweek makes a big deal about everything so when I tell him to give me some time to figure out how to tell him about how I'm feeling, he just gets even more upset and pouts or starts a whole new argument! It's like he doesn't trust me! Why cant he understood that it's hard for me to Express my feelings like you do, ken?" Kenny blushed deeply and looked down at lap, unsure about what to say. Kenny had never seen craig so upset before. Craig didnt seem to notice Kenny's uncomfortable reaction to what he said, or if he did, he didnt say anything.

"Look ken, its just....we've been fighting so much lately and we barely hang out anymore. Everytime we do hang out, it always turns into another argument." Craig looked at his feet unhappily. Kenny's heart broke at the raw emotion on his face. He looked so unhappy and so dam vulnerable.

"Craig, you and...tweek need to have a serious conversation about everything that's going on and be honest about how you both are feeling. Remember, it's you and tweek against the problem NOT you against tweek." Kenny chuckled uncomfortably. Dispite how much he helped craig it never before felt this serious before. It felt like kenny was walking a very fine line and he didnt want to say the wrong thing and jeopardize his friendship with craig whom he treasured more then anything.

"Ken....wh-what if it never gets better, even if we try and talk it out?" Kenny immediately tensed. This was serious. Craig NEVER talked about breaking up with tweek and it made kenny uncomfortable and his stomach do somersaults.

"What do you mean craig?" He didnt mean for his voice to sound so cautious but he was struggling between his feelings for craig and his friendship for craig. Kenny did NOT want to say the wrong thing and ruin his best friends relationship. Craig looked up and locked eyes with Kenny.

"I mean...what if, hypothetically, me and tweek...just arnt working out? What if...me and tweek break up?" Kenny couldnt breathe with the intense way craig was staring at him, searching Kenny's face for something, EXPECTING somthing from him.

Craig's eyes where so intense and so beautiful Kenny felt like he was soaring. Fuck! How could Kenny be thinking about craig like that when he was so vulnerable and asking about relationship advice? It was disgusting.

"I...i.."I would kiss you and ask you out. The words kenny desperately wanted to speak but was unable. His hesitation seemed to snapped craig out of the intense staredown. Some emotion Kenny couldn't place flashed in Craig's eyes but was gone in a second. Did kenny just imagine it? Craig's eyes softened as he looked down to the floor again.

"Its nothing...I'm probably just overreacting again." He mumbled. No! Kenny wanted to scream. He felt like he had missed something important, something craig had been trying to tell him.

"Craig..." but no words came. Kenny's heart thundered in his chest while he desperately tried to salvage the situation. What did he miss? What the hell was craig trying to tell him earlier? He knew it was to late to say anything when craig sighed deeply.

"Dont worry about it Kenny, I know I always dump my problems on you but really, I'm fine. I'll...see tweek tomorrow and...we'll figure it out, just like you suggested." Craig's fake smile broke Kenny's heart even more. He wanted to punch something and scream at the top of his lungs. This was all his fault! He didnt know what he did but he knew he had fucked up and now craig seemed even worse then before. Kenny could handle angry, shouting craig but he had never before seen sad, distraught, fake-smile craig.

"Yeah craig, that's probably for the best. I know you two can work this out." Because isn't that what Kenny wanted? He wanted his best friend happy and nothing made craig happier then dating his long term boyfriend, tweek. Besides, that look craig had given him was probably nothing, craig had probably wanted relationship advice and Kenny had hesitated! No wonder craig seemed so distraught. He came to Kenny for advice and kenny had been thinking about how much he wanted craig. He was a terrible friend.

Besides, kenny told himself bitterly, even if craig and tweek broke up, it's not like craig would ever date Kenny. There was no way in hell craig would ever like the poorest boy in town with the worst reputation.

"Thank you ken."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For being my best friend and always helping me." It was Craig's honest and open smile that was the final bullet that killed Kenny that night. Craig had no business giving him a pure smile like that when keeny was the absolute worst friend in the world.

But kenny smiled dispite his internal turmoil.

"You know I always have your back craig." God he was so pathetic. it seemed to do the trick, however and lighten the tense mood enough for craig to smile again.

"Now, let's play some video games and eat some pizza!" Craig cheered and the other boy agreed.

Kenny couldnt shake this feeling of unease and dread as the rest of the night went smoothly while the two boys played video games and hung out late into the night.

[anxaxid]

(Tweek x Craig)

This is my very first time writing a story, so there will be some mistakes here and there. It won't be the greatest, but I hope you enjoy it anyways.

The link is my Wattpad that I share with two of my friends, if you want you can go follow us.

Anyways here's the story.

[3rd Person P.O.V]

"Why?! Why?!" Tweek screamed to himself in his room. Today the blonde boy tried to give a simple peck on his boyfriend's lips, but instead of giving the sweet and memorable kiss he had in mind he ran away screaming "Too much pressure!" It was an embarrassing moment for him.

Tweek kept on trying not to slam his head on the small desk. Right now he was trying to build a simple building of legos while drinking coffee. It was the only way for him to feel less stressed, but this time it wasn't working. The embarrassing moment kept on haunting him in his brain.

The small kid wanted to kiss his boyfriend already. Craig kept on telling Tweek to 'Take your time' and 'No pressure' , but believe me it was a lot of pressure for Tweek. Both of them had been dating for 4 months, and the relationship has only reach to to forehead kisses and kisses on the cheek, but no lip contact.

The boy thought that Craig was getting annoyed by his nervous ass, it didn't sound like Craig, but his mind still convinced him to think that.

Tweek took a sip of his coffee before nodding his head, agreeing to himself that tomorrow he will kiss Craig on the mouth. He only hoped he won't fuck it up this time.

[Craig P.O.V]

I repeatedly tap my foot on the snowy floor as I wait for Tweek to arrive. Ever since we started dating we would always wait up on each other before school starts, it was like our thing.

I'm a bit worried about him. Yesterday he tried to give me a peck on the lips, but instead he ran away panicking. I'm actually quite happy that he tried to kiss me even if he failed miserably at it.

After some minutes Tweek's parent's car came up, and left Tweek outside of the building. "Hey Tweek!" I jogged towards him with a small smile planted on my lips.

[Tweek's P.O.V]

Oh God! He's coming! It's okay Tweek, everything is going to be all right. Before I knew it, my boyfriend was in front of me smiling. "Gah!" "It's okay, babe, it's just me." Craig spoke softly and slowly, trying to make me feel more calm which apparently worked.

"Come on, we'll be late." Craig grabbed my hand gently, and started walking to the entrance of the school. I followed him, trying not to burst out and talk about the small event that happened yesterday, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

[3rd P.O.V]

Hours passed, and school was finally over. Everyone happily left the yellow building. The gay couple went outside and decided to wait for the bus.

"How about you come to my house, so we can hang out some more?" Craig asked his twitchy boyfriend as he looked at him. The boy still felt guilty about yesterday, and he wanted to make his boyfriend more comfortable because knowing Tweek he will worry about it for more than a week.

"Oh! Um! Sure!" Tweek twitched a little, while thinking of a plan. Maybe he could use this as an advantage to finally kiss Craig.

"After I'm done helping my parents, I can go to your place." Tweek said while looking back at his boyfriend. Craig nodded, and noticed the bus arriving. He got up and Tweek followed behind him.

After two hours passed, Tweek left the café, and walked towards Craig's house. On the way there he tried to remember the things that he learned from Wikihow. When he had time to himself he searched on the website "How do you stop being nervous around your boyfriend?" "How do you kiss someone?" "How does it feel to kiss someone?"

He felt stupid for searching that up, but it was the only way he could get help. He definitely couldn't ask his parents since their stories were always useless.

"Oh Jesus!" The blonde boy was standing in front of Craig's house. "Okay, you can do this Tweek, you can do this." He kept on repeating the same thing until he stopped in front of the door. "I can't do this!" He tugged his hair, accidently pulling out some strands of his hair.

After some moments Mr. Tucker open up the door, scaring Tweek for a minute. The parent had been hearing Tweek screaming outside of his door for some minutes, he felt bad for the boy. "He's upstairs in his room." He said as he move aside letting Tweek in. The boy let out a small "Thanks," before entering the house, and going upstairs to Craig's room.

Once he got there he gently knocked on the door, waiting patiently for Craig to open up. After some seconds he did. "Hey, honey." Craig said as he move aside to let Tweek in. The blonde male anxiously walked in.

Tweek's eyes traveled around Craig's room. His eyes stopped on the TV, it seemed that Red Racer was on, Craig's favorite cartoon. "I don't know why you like this cartoon so much." Tweek sat his butt down in front of the TV. "Because it's awesome." "But how?" Craig sat down besides Tweek, explaining why Red Racer was such a great cartoon.

While Craig kept on talking, Tweek focused his eyes on his boyfriend's lips. He wanted to kiss him so badly, but he was afraid that he will mess it up all over again. The boy started thinking about the possibilities, most of them were negative. 'What if he breaks up with me?! What if he leaves me?! This is way too much pressure!' Tweek kept on having those awful thoughts.

"I WANT TO KISS YOU!" Tweek accidentally blurt out. His comment was so loud even the parents heard him in the living room.

"What?" Craig asked while raising an eyebrow. "I want to kiss you okay?! I've been wanting too for a while! I thought you were getting annoyed because we actually haven't kissed! I know you said to take my time and shit, but I still kept on thinking that you were getting irritated by me." Tweek kept on rambling about the issue.

Craig let out a soft sigh before giving a sweet peck on Tweek's lips which turned out to be a bad idea. "Ow! Fuck!" Tweek accidentally bit Craig's bottom lip, making some blood come out. "Gah! I'm so sorry!" Craig's eyes got a bit watery from the pain, but tears didn't fall.

Tweek kept on spazing out, trying to apologize to Craig. "It's okay, babe. Everything is fine." He put his hands on the twitching boy's shoulders. "We're hopeless homosexuals." Craig joke a bit, trying to lighten up the mood. Tweek let out a soft chuckle which made Craig feel happy on the inside.

"Yes we are." Tweek twitches had calm down a bit. "Wanna try again?" Craig asked, making Tweek tremble. "What if we mess it up again?!" "That won't happen, just try to stay calm okay?" Tweek nodded, still trembling anxiously. "Okay, close your eyes." The blonde boy hesitantly close his eyes. "Oh God.. Oh Jesus." Craig put both of his hands on Tweek's cheeks. He slowly leaned in, and gently pressed his lips against Tweek's.

Tweek smiled in the small peck. Craig pulled back from the kiss five seconds later. "See, everything went okay." "Yeah, it did." Both of them were glad everything went okay especially Tweek. "Lemme try now." Tweek said excitedly, Craig's kisses always calm him down.

Craig nodded, and closed his eyes, waiting for Tweek to kiss him. The male took a deep breath before giving Craig a quick peck on the lips. The raven hair male open his eyes. "We should do this more often... And maybe do more in the future." Tweek blushed at his comment. "Don't say those things, man!" Craig laughed, letting out a snort. "Fine, fine."

[tizzybella12]

The Heaviest Heart on KQ 782/311 💓💓

It's 23:00 in Dubai on the 16 April. I've just checked in and my flight boards at 01:20. KQ 311 is a direct flight from Dubai to Nairobi (Kenya). And then I hop over to KQ 782, a Kenyan Airways flight from Nairobi to Cape Town, South Africa. I feel like I've waited my whole life to get on this flight. I just want to leave already. This day has been a TMI day. Too much information..I never thought my last two weeks let alone my last day in Dubai would end this way. But it has and as much as I want to fall apart, i can't. I need to be strong and I have to go home in one piece. I have interviews in two days and a life that must go on. So let me take you back to four months ago.....

There I was at 05:00 at Dubai International Airport. I had just made the biggest mistake of my life, and I didn't even know it.

This has been one of the most challenging four months of my life. Emotionally and Mentally. I'm exhausted. I haven't slept, eaten and lived my life properly in the longest time. When I landed in DXB on the 07th of December I told myself it was too late to turn back now. I had to be strong. I knew something didn't feel right about this job but I went against my gut and I followed through. I knew it would be hard and I would miss home and my friends. I was prepared for that. I was not prepared for what was about to come my way though...nothing could ever prepare me for the lies and unhappiness that followed. Both at work and my personal life.

Firstly if you are moving to a new country for work. Find out exactly what your job entails and exactly what you will be doing. The middle east is very fond of changing or tweeking "job titles". A butler is just a fancy word for buggy driver etc... A guest relations executive is a fancy word for a glorified waitress. That was my first mistake. I didn't bother researching my job. I was so engrossed and excited about moving to a new country that nothing else mattered.

The weeks that followed were torture, I just couldn't find my feet. I didn't understand the work operation. I didn't understand what my role was and I didn't want to in all honesty. I thought time would help. Keep in mind I was doing a job I had zero experience in. Oh yes, this is very common in the UAE. We will hire you regardless of your experience is their go to slogan. By now, two months had gone by and I still wasn't performing. I spoke to my manager about my issues, i wasn't coping and emotionally I was losing it. My mental health was starting to deteriorate rapidly. There was a sense of well "We all go through it". And we can't do anything to help you kind of attitude.

I had to think fast if I wanted to get out of this, so I did. I needed to take drastic measures. One week later I had successfully resigned. I was serving my notice and I would be going home in a few weeks. I did have second thoughts, but I had made a decision and I had to stand by it. ✌ As time went on I felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. I was finally free. I was excited about going home. 😀�� I did what I had to do to be happy and I will always put my health first.

And then there was my "barely there" personal life...

This next part, I'm not really sure how to start. I was blindsided this time. I always thought South African guys were assholes, but wow you should travel more. 😂😟 They get more "assholier" north of the continent. I won't go into too much detail here. I guess I'm still trying to process it all. Guys are sneaky bastards (like leaving out the fact they are getting engaged and married soon). They tell you what you want to hear and they know how to manipulate their lies to their own selfish benefit. The bottom line is never take what they are telling you at face value and always look out for the red flags. They're always there we just choose to ignore them. I guess fantasy is better than reality sometimes.

Here's the thing, always use your instincts and your truth as your compass to navigate you through relationships. Whether it's friendships, platonic, romantic, etc. Never discredit your gut.

Below I've included some tips for how to weed out a "two timer much like the one I encountered in Dubai 😡:"

He's always on his phone when you're around:

Here's the truth, he's not texting his bff or his mum ladies. If you're around he shouldn't be texting at all. This is disrespectful and also a sign that he's not really that interested in you. If his phone seems more appealing perhaps he should have stayed home and you should be out with someone else who will respect your time and effort.

  2. He doesn't pay attention when you talk to him:

He never listens to you, or he seems distracted when you have a conversation with him. Or try to. He brushes you off. Or he says things like "you already told me that". Ugggh who wants to be around someone who doesn't pay attention to them. ✌Also it's not easy for someone with a double life to pay attention to so many woman!

3. The wondering eye:

This is an obvious one. Girls if he takes you to a bar and starts telling you he's hooked up with half the bar, run! He's doing it to seem cool but that's not a good reflection of him. And chances are, he has hooked up with all of them!

4. He starts being distant:

When a guy starts being distant he's trying to get rid of you to make room for a new person. It's really that simple..don't make excuses and try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Guys get bored after the chase is over, it's not your fault. He has his own issues.

5. He hides you from his friends and refers to his ex as crazy:

If you have never met his friends, there's a problem. He's hiding you and you deserve to be shown off to the world girl!

If he tells you that his ex is or was crazy there's a problem. Why was she crazy? What made her so crazy?? Guys say this when they have done something wrong in the relationship and aren't ready to take ownership for their fault in it. Watch out for this line.

As woman we tend to be naive, but you pick up on patterns and you need to remember these in every relationship you get into. Don't be hard on yourself, men are great at the game of deception and take great pleasure in making us feel bad about it.

As for me, I'm adjusting to being home for now and spending my time with people who are positive and who contribute good vibes to my life. I've made God and prayer the centre of my life, not just in the tough times but the good to. I'm committed to having a good life moving forward. One with balance. Thank you to everyone who supported me and sent me good wishes when I was going through a tough time abroad. I'm home now and my heart is happy again. ❤🙏

They say.....Time Heals All..but the scars remain to show us how far we have come.