#I'm laying on the couch freaking crying. I can't imagine being in this house without her. I don't WANT to be in this house without her

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I think I understand Antigone and I'm making this no one else's problem but my own. I can deal with my own devices even if those devices always break. I'm not trying to complain. I'm not complaining. I know this has to be right but I'm still here laying on the couch. world's smallest violin or whatever they say. if you go know you go as one beloved although you go without your mind.

[borathae]

~Chapter 26~ I just want to say I LOVED this chapter so much. Them making up and all the fluff 😚👌💕 My heart really needed that. Also how you describe Namjoon in your story is exactly how i think he is in real life. Like always having some really well worded advice that sounds so well thought out but he didn't even have to think about it that hard, it just comes naturally to him. Where does one find a Namjoon? And the tea part? Excuse me? That was a whole movie moment. 😭 Eternity biiitch 😭 I had literally so many song options for this chapter but at some point I had to stop myself lol

🖤 My Everything - Ariana Grande

In this chapter or rather in the time between this & the last chapter oc accepts that she wants jungkook back in her life and said let's work on what we have bc it's far too powerful & special to just dismiss it because someone made a mistake which can be worked out. I think she always knew this but now she accepted it. "I've cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them and then it was clear, I can't deny I really miss it." I think oc realised this especially once jk revealed he needs time to think and that's when it hit oc that he might not come back and that she actually can't live without him. "To think that I was wrong, I guess you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. Pain is just a consequence of love. I'm saying sorry for the sake of us. He wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing. And it's taken me a lot to say. And now that he's gone, my heart is missing something so it's time to push my pride away 'cause you are, you are, you are my everything."

🖤 It's Gotta Be You - Isaiah Firebrace

I actually think this song represents both their povs. "I hear a million voices in my head telling me the things I should have said. I don't know why I let you go, oh I learned the hard way. Tell me it's not too late. Now my arms are open wide, they're hanging forever there, waiting forever, for you. I won't give up on you this time cause I ain't holding up, for nobody else. It's gotta be you."

🖤 Blind (Acoustic) - PRETTYMUCH

I can just see jungkookie laying alone in a motel bed pretending this is seriously over, crying himself to sleep and when he closes his eyes all he sees is oc. "I lose my mind before I see you and I separated, no I'm so scared to lose you, never choosing to let go. Love's so fragile, anything could happen, and we know. Hearts made of glass, but somehow we last. Yeah we made it, no I would rather be without vision 'fore I ever watch you leave. [...] I'd be better off blind. [...] When I close my eyes all I think about is you."

🖤 Here To Stay - Josh Devine

Jungkookie is here to stay 😭 "My heart on the line, so you'll never doubt the mountains I'd climb for us now. It's all about us now. I fooled my heart, let it break. I know this time we won't fade cause all my love's here to stay. [...] Through the dark fight our way. I know this time I can change. [...] I'm giving up everything for this, we'll figure it out I promise."

🖤 Call You Mine - The Chainsmokers & Bebe Reha

I'm sorry but that's literally their story if you replace bar with diner. "When we thought that we couldn't get higher things started looking down. I look at you and you look at me like nothing but strangers now. Two kids with their hearts on fire, don't let it burn us out. Think about what you believe in now, am I someone you cannot live without? 'Cause I know I don't wanna live without you, yeah come on, let's turn this all around. Bring it all back to that bar downtown when you wouldn't let me walk out on you, yeah. You said, 'Hey, what you doing for the rest of your life?' and I said, 'I don't even know what I'm doing tonight'. Went from one conversation to your lips on mine and you said, 'I never regretted the day that I called you mine'."

🖤 Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia

This is what I imagine playing when oc just can't take it anymore and literally throws herself at jk and they hug so tight he can't breathe 😭💖 "I ache for love, ache for us, why don't you come, don't you come a little closer. So come on now, strike the match, strike the match now. We're a perfect match, perfect somehow, we were meant for one another, come a little closer. Flame you came from me, fire meet gasoline. [...] I'm burning alive. I can barely breathe, when you're here loving me." Also "I got all I need, when you came after me"

🖤 Can't Help Falling in Love - Haley Reinhart / Kina Grannis

Those are two separate covers but I just can't decide between them. You know just the whole 'so you really want me to stay?' 'yes we complete each other' vibe. "Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can't help falling in love with you? Like a river flows surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you."

🖤 Best Years - 5 Seconds of Summer

This relates to the last chapter where jk realised he wants to build a life with oc. And this just sounds exactly like something he would say to her when they're sitting together on the couch 😢 "You've got a million reasons to hesitate but darling, the future's better than yesterday. [...] Gave you a million reasons to walk away. But I'll build a house out of the mess and all the broken pieces. I'll make up for all of your tears. I'll give you the best years. [...] I promise, darling, you won't regret the best years."

🖤 Black And White - Niall Horan

Same as the previous song and also this is literally their story. "That first night we were standing at your door fumbling for your keys, then I kissed you, ask me if I want to come inside 'cause we didn't want to end the night. [...] Yeah, I see us in black and white, crystal clear on a star lit night in all your gorgeous colors. I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life. See you standing in your dress, swear in front of all our friends there'll never be another. I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life. Now, we're sitting here in your living room telling stories while we share a drink or two. And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind, we're 65 and you ask 'When did I first know?' I always knew."

Okay, okay so I gotta go on and hurry up with replying to your messages fjsdfjas. Excuse my lazy ass, but I really want to take my time with your messages and saDLY online classes didn’t let me until now 😔🤧

Honestly I totally agree with you, this is highkey how I imagine Namjoon to be in real life as well. Also no joke, working on Namjoon was always so much. I really loved his parts in the story. They were so healing for me to write hahfhads 💜 

Also I am literally so happy that you enjoyed Chapter 26 so much, it is one of my favourite chapters from the story as well. It is just so healing and cute. Like that part when Kook makes her all laugh and Namjoon is all like “damn that bitch laughs really weirdly” but Kook is all like heart eyes for her. do yOU HEAR ME CRYING IN MY ROOM?? 😔😭💜

Imma put the rest under “read more” because your bitch has a lot to say hahHAH

My Everything - Ariana Grande

Your description just hIT me like a truck. HAHAHHA BYE I am laughing in pain 😭😭 Oh god I don’t even know what to add because you described it just so perfectly well 😭😭 I caN’t here I am cryIng at the first song you recommended 😔

It’s Gotta Be You - Isaiah Firebrace

Okay lis t EN I am :( I will literally start sobbing right here and now 😭 like omfg that part when he is all like “When you walked away my heart tried to replace ya with someone like you, but I could never find it. I don't want to find it.” if that isn’t the reader trying to move on with Hoseok but realising just how much she needs Kook. But also at same time it’s Kook all trying to pretend that they have broken up, but ending up crying every night because he misses her so much. I will now cry 😭😭

Blind (Acoustic) - PRETTYMUCH

Okay you just changed my mind, this is IT. This is most definitely Kook being all sad and heartbroken in his motel room. Nooo lisTEN I AM FAR TOO EMOTIONAL I AM SOBBING :( Okay but also this part, listen this part: “I'm so scared to lose you, never choosing to let go [...] When I close my eyes all I think about is you. This is real love.” if that isnt them being all like “I’ll never let go again” later when they are cuddling in bed :( 

Here To Stay - Josh Devine

Okay... why are those lyrics literally so damn accurate?? Help I am scared? They are literally so accurate hgnfgnan bYE 😭😭😭 also omfg I didn’t know this song and I freaking love their voices. They just HIT right 😭 I can’t jajsdj like every song you’ve recommended as of now made me cry (in a good way) 😭 like just that part “We'll figure it out I promise cause all my love's here to stay.“ I will throw myself away 😭

Call You Mine - The Chainsmokers feat. Bebe Rexa

listen anonie I wanna smooch you. I do not know how you always manage to find songs that just F I T so right, I am comBUSTING 😭😭 gosh this is giving me such hardcore memories of how it felt like to start writing this story (lil fun fact for you guys, exactly one year ago I started working on the Cocktail Trilogy 😔) I can’t this would fit so well to a lil flashback, showing all the amazing times they had together. Like them just driving down the coast, the reader has her arms around his waist while Kook is sneaking a glance her way and smiles. Like just imagine 😭

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia 

Omg the moment you described 😭 this is it. I can imagine it so clearly. How Kooks eyes widen in surprise at first before they flutter closed. How he nuzzles his face into her shoulder and twists her sweater in his fingers so she would never leave again. How she is squeezing her eyes shut and twisting his hair to press him even closer. Now that they are finally together again it feels so right. The world could burst into flames all around them and yet they wouldn’t let go. Nothing matters for them except the other person. 

And now I made myself sOB again  😔😭

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Hayley Reinhart / Kina Grannis

OKAY LISTEN NO JOKE I LISTENED TO THE KINA GRANNIS COVER WHILST WORKING ON THAT CHAPTER! I love that song so much and holy shit the lines you chOSE YES!! 😭😭 this is song is them 100%, I don’t make the rules and I thank you for recommending it 😭😭

Best Years - 5 Seconds of Summer 

Anonie you are out to make me cry 😭😭 (first of all I love 5sos so much) HOLY SHIT LISTEN THIS IS TOO MUCH 😭😭 I can’t, I literally can’t. This just broke me HHAHSH 😭😭 like if that song isn’t the moment when he is all like “you won’t regret it I promise. I’ll make you so happy.” liKE HOLY FUCK MY HEART IS ACHING 😭😭 anonie seriously thANk YOU, you don’t even want to know how often I have listened to this song whilst working on Purple Rain. Good god, this just awoke so many memories 😭

Black and White - Niall Horan

ANOTHER SONG I CONSTANTLY LISTENED TO WHILST WORKING ON PURPLE RAIN 😔 anonie I can’t believe that three songs of my “writing songs” also made you think of Purple Rain. Fuck I can’t, I’m currently listening to it and I am sobbing HAHAHH 😭 like okAY listen, do you want to know which scene I always think about when I listen to that song? The one day when Kook took her to a junkyard and then when they later drove up a mountain to watch the city. And it’s that moment when they are both just like screaming on top of their lungs and then end up falling into each others arms because they are just so goddamn fucking alive when they are together 😔

Honestly anonie thank you. This playlist was such an emotional rollercoaster to listen to (in a good way). Holy shit it awoke so many memories and fuck, you just get me and my story 😔 thank you anonie, I really fucking love you 😔💜