#I'm just. idk i feel like im in a little bit of a rut

[starsstuddedsky]

hi hi hi! im a new follower but already so invested in "as a matter of fact". i think the storyline is amazing and i can't wait for more updates >< and my wish to your star is a fic of a love triangle b/w seungkwan, wonu and our girl y/n :) if you decide to accept this (totally cool if you don't) - i think a uni au would be nice with tons of fluff and angst. and you can decide who to end up with! thank you for reading this, your works are amazing and take care <33

Date #4

seungkwan x reader, wonwoo x reader

summary: Seungkwan and the crushing realization of having feelings for a friend

genre: angst, fluff, uni au

warnings: food mention, alcohol mention, swearing(?)

wc: 2.4k

a/n: hello!!! tysm for this request!! first of all, i'm sorry it took me so long to get to this, i was in a bit of a writing rut and also real life is so difficult.. that said i had a lot of fun writing this and i hope it isn't took different from what you imagined!! i'm not the biggest fan of love triangles (read: i despite them) so idk how this turned out.. pls pls enjoy &lt;/3

req masterlist | guidelines

Seungkwan has his apron on, tied behind his back in a bow (a skill he learned during the two months he survived working at Foot Locker). He chose all black, turtleneck tucked into his loose jeans, even digging out the sneakers he got (discount price) when he thought he was actually going to run every day. He shudders at the memory of wearing the Foot Locker uniform, thankful yet again to find a job at Soren’s. Close to campus, minimal dress code and iced Americanos whenever he wants them. Plus it rarely gets busy, so most of the time Seungkwan gets paid to read behind the counter. 

He drums his fingers on the counter, scanning the limited view of the sidewalk that the window provides. If only he could take down the giant poster, promoting some campus band, especially since the concert was two months ago. 

He smiles at the memory. Two months ago, the first of these little schemes. You wore your favorite jeans and the purple sweater, with the swirly patterns that Jihoon makes fun of for looking like obscene shapes. Seungkwan had to promise you that Jihoon was just being immature, and there were middle fingers and dicks absolutely nowhere on you. 

That was back when you still had faith in your dates. 

He can see two pairs of shoes underneath the poster, the Sketchers he got you (also discount price) and unfamiliar Nikes that are gray and worn down. Seungkwan is tempted to pour the cup of water already. 

Because of the cursed poster, he can’t see you until you’re opening the door, the little bell jingling softly. It’s still a fond noise to Seungkwan, a notice that customers have arrived and he’ll have to actually earn his paycheck. Jeonghan, the other barista, hates the noise, obvious by the way he drags his feet approaching the register. He shoots a glare at Seungkwan as he walks past, though he agreed to this at the start of the shift. 

“Welcome to Soren’s, how can I help you?” Jeonghan asks in a cheery voice. He stands straight and even though his back is to Seungkwan, he knows that the older boy is flashing a blindingly bright smile and perfectly covering his disdain for the job. 

From his stool on the corner, Seungkwan gets the perfect vantage point to judge your date. He’s tall, broad shoulders, wearing a loose navy blue sweater and brown corduroy pants. A point in his favor, definitely better than Failed Date #2 (Seungkwan still wants to know who let him go on a date in flip flops and board shorts). He has thick glasses, round frames that sit perfectly on the bridge of his nose, which is straight and looks like it’s never been broken (a step up from Failed Date #1, who managed to break his nose during the date). 

This date was set up by Jun (much more reputable than Mingyu by Seungkwan’s judgment). According to Jun, he met the dude in his freshman English class, and cited him as the sole reason Jun passed the class. “Certified genius” were the exact words he used to describe Jeon Wonwoo. 

You order first, though Seungkwan doesn’t need to listen to know what to make. He gets off the stool, hands moving without looking; he’s made your order so many times since he started working here, he could do it in his sleep. 

“I’ll take a caramel latte, iced,” Wonwoo says. His voice is smooth and deep, even Seungkwan feels his heart skip a beat. So far so good. He remembers a night where you were rather drunk and very rambly, and mentioned how you found deep voices attractive. 

Seungkwan doesn’t miss how Wonwoo pays without a word, passing his card to Jeonghan before you can say anything. Another point to the Date #4. Seungkwan has to actually pay attention to his job now, ignoring the faces Jeonghan is making at him. He pours the drinks carefully, making sure nothing sticky is left on the outside of your cup since apparently he got syrup on it last time. 

Seungkwan is proud of how quickly he finishes the drinks. He has gotten rather good at being a barista, though it feels arrogant to say. He sets them on the counter, calling out the order. You and Wonwoo stand at the same time, and your table is close enough for Seungkwan to hear the awkward laugh. 

“Why don’t we go together?” You say, gesturing for him to lead the way. Wonwoo nods, and even though his back is to you, he still smiles. Seungkwan feels a prickle in his stomach watching you two walk up together. You look good together, he realizes. 

You don’t look at him when you pick up your drink, muttering thank you under your breath. Seungkwan has to force himself to smile and nod at Wonwoo, who meets his eyes and thanks him, holding up his glass in a small toast. 

He watches you return to your table and decides it has to be a good sign that you are avoiding him. It must mean the date is going well, since you aren’t making faces at him or giving him the signal. 

You sit facing Wonwoo, though you’re also facing Seungkwan. He shifts the stool so that he can watch you out of the corner of his eye without outright staring. He’d hate to miss the signal like last time. 

The minutes drag by. Seungkwan can’t hear much from behind the bar, but can he see your face light up in that lovely smile that makes your cheekbones pop, see the way you lean into the table when Wonwoo is talking. And even when both your drinks are empty and the ice is melting, you don’t make any move to get up or give him the signal. 

Seungkwan sips on the cup of water before realizing he’s meant to spill it on you. He sets it down, realizing this means he has to resort to plan B. Even if you don’t look like you’re going to give the signal, he should stay ready. It’s his duty, as your friend. 

Friend. He frowns at the word. That is, by definition, his relationship to you, someone with whom there is mutual affection. He is affectionate to you, but watching someone else make you smile, for the first time he wonders if affection is all he feels. 

He ducks his head, wiping the counter down. These thoughts are dangerous, capacity-to-destroy-a-relationship level of dangerous. You’ve always been a precious friend to him, and he won’t throw it away because he maybe thinks he feels something. 

It’s true he’s thought of it before; the first time was in the library, when someone wanted to borrow a chair and mistakenly thought you were dating. It was a careless mistake but for a moment Seungkwan entertained the thought. It passed quickly, his essay on data ethics taking priority, but every once in a while he’ll be by your side and wonder what it would be like to be more than friends. Passing thoughts that vanish before they can destroy him. 

Seungkwan scrubs at the sink, waiting for this thought to pass, but it’s taken root in his stomach, twisting and turning. He has had one iced americano too many, and everything is a clouded mess. 

“What are you doing?” Jeonghan hisses from next to him. “That’s the wrong rag!” He snatches the rag from Seungkwan’s hand, tossing it in the back. Jeonghan shakes his head. “I trained you better than this. Sponges and orange rags only for cleaning the sinks!” 

“Sorry,” Seungkwan mutters, glancing back at you. 

“It’s going well this time,” Jeonghan says. Seungkwan turns to see that Jeonghan isn’t even trying to hide his snooping. He’d shove the older boy if he didn’t think it would get him fired. 

“Can’t you be subtle?” He whispers. 

“No fun,” Jeonghan says, craning his neck to try and get a better look at Wonwoo. 

“I never should have told you anything.” 

“Nonsense, I’m an integral part of this team,” Jeonghan says. “Plus you’re conducting this on company property, I have to make sure you don’t get us sued or anything.” 

“Since when have you cared about getting sued,” Seungkwan says, remembering last week when Jeonghan got into an argument with a customer. 

“I care about getting sued when my protégé can’t focus on his job because he’s too busy being overly invested in the love life of his friend.” 

“How noble.” Seungkwan dares to peek at you again. Is he imagining things? 

No, you’re definitely tucking your hair behind your ear with both hands, though you aren’t looking at him. Still, the signal is the signal. Seungkwan ignores Jeonghan, grabbing the mop bucket from the back. It’s time to prove his worth. 

The mop bucket clatters on the tiled floor, drowning out your conversation. Seungkwan decides it’s fate; he doesn’t need to know why you called for evacuation, he just needs to help get you out. 

So he trips. He doesn’t know how convincing he is, especially when he puts most of his effort into tipping the bucket of water over via mop handle. Unfortunately, as he falls, Seungkwan realizes two things. First, he miscalculates how much strength it would take to tip the bucket, and instead of knocking it over, he sends it flying into the air. Second, he thought the water was still clean but Jeonghan must have mopped before his shift started because the water flying into the air is very soapy and very dirty. 

Seungkwan falls flat on his back, mop handle clattering next to him. He squeezes his eyes and mouth shut as the water sprays all over. 

“Oh. My. God.” He hears your voice and opens his eyes slowly. You sit in the chair, hand over your mouth and Seungkwan realizes he didn’t just spray himself. 

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asks. He stands, the chair kicking up mop water. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” He holds out a hand to Seungkwan, covered in mop water. Seungkwan tries to think of an excuse to say no but comes up with nothing, so he takes the other man’s hand and cringes when he notices the water on his glasses. 

Seungkwan has failed before, but never this exponentially terribly. 

“I’m fine.” Seungkwan says, unable to take his eyes off you. Why haven’t you gotten up yet? 

“You’re sort of…” Wonwoo points to his chest. Seungkwan groans. He’s covered in the mop water, seeping through the apron. It’s probably all over his face. 

“Here,” Jeonghan says, passing paper towels to you and Wonwoo. “I apologize for the clumsiness of my coworker, he’s new.” Jeonghan glares at Seungkwan, sticking a paper towel to his forehead. 

“I’m so sorry,” Seungkwan chokes out, reaching up to peel the paper towel off his face and use it to wipe off some of the water. Maybe Jeonghan will let him go home early, or, even better, follow through on one of his threats and toss Seungkwan in the dumpster behind the store. 

“It’s alright,” Wonwoo says. “Accidents happen, no harm no foul.” 

You say nothing, staring at Seungkwan. He feels so small when you look at him like that, frown creasing your brow, like you don’t understand why he would do something like this, like you don’t know him at all. 

“Sorry,” he mutters again. 

“It’s fine,” you finally say, though your smile isn’t very convincing. “We’re fine, right?” 

Wonwoo nods. “Absolutely fine, though I think I’ll have to wash this as soon as possible.” 

“Oh,” you say. “Right. Me too, I guess.” 

Wonwoo laughs. “I had fun, though.” Seungkwan knows that he should follow Jeonghan behind the counter but his feet are planted to the ground, stuck standing between you and Wonwoo listening to your very first successful blind date. Except you gave him the signal. Right? 

“I’d like to do this again,” Wonwoo continues, “though maybe with slightly less water involved.” He glances at Seungkwan, as if just realizing that he’s still standing there. Everything in him screams to run but he can’t get his legs to move. 

“Oh,” you say. You don’t look away from Wonwoo. “I… I think I’d like that too.” 

Seungkwan’s heart drops. He hates the feeling immediately, he knows that he should be happy that you’ve found someone and yet his stomach still twists. 

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you,” Wonwoo says. He smiles at you one last time before walking toward the door. Seungkwan watches him leave, sees the exact moment he pauses (one foot out the door) to get one last look at you. And then he’s gone.

“What the hell, Seungkwan?” you cry as soon as the door shuts. 

“You gave me the signal!” He says. He tucks invisible hair behind his ears with both hands. “Double tuck!” 

You frown, probably trying to remember whether you actually did it or not. But Seungkwan knows it doesn’t matter. He should have seen how happy you were. With Wonwoo. 

“I really am sorry,” he says, folding his arms. 

“It’s alright,” you say before he finishes talking. “He didn’t take it badly. Actually, he took it quite well.” You smile. “I think I could really like him.” 

Good, Seungkwan tries to say. Then, I’m happy for you. The words get stuck in his throat. And he knows why, the forbidden words lurking at the edge of his thoughts, the twisted sickness that has been growing for so long without his knowledge cannot be ignored anymore, not when it demands a name. Jealousy, the cruel monster. 

Jealousy because without realizing it, he stopped thinking of you as just a friend. It’s not fair to call you anything more, but Seungkwan can’t keep pretending that this is enough, that he doesn’t want to imagine more. He’s spent too long denying it that the floodgates have opened and can’t pretend like he doesn’t want to be the one making you smile, the one you call in the middle of the night because you had a bad dream, the one you call in the middle of the day just because. He wants to look at you and not feel guilty.

But he knows you’ve never looked at him like that, not when you keep going on these dates. So what now? He can tell you the truth, risk losing you completely. Or he can stand back and watch you inevitably fall in love with Wonwoo, or some other man that sweeps you off your feet. 

He stands before you, covered in mop water and sick to his stomach. And he makes a decision. 

a/n2: i'm sorry if anyone doesn't like this ending i just really hate love triangles,, feel free to believe whatever you want about what happens next

[yardsard666]

Feeling emotions this morning huh

[irwen-s]

yeah i have Not heard good things about pledis but pls 🙏 treat our girls right

lmaooo thats so funny jiwon exploiting the shit out of her puppy eyes and saerom not realising that their little omega's got her in the palm of her hand..and then jisun's just there watching from the sidelines like lemme grab some popcorn 👀🍿

yeah i'm not sure about the scents thing but i think alphas always have a certain musk to their scent that gets stronger during ruts regardless of what the actual scent smells like

and ya got me there i'm just happy to read any fromis content bc there arent many ppl writing for them rip

i don't have any favourites for ships in particular (besides 2jirom my beloveds) but recently ive been thinking about hayoung and jisun bc they would be a very interesting pairing...they both radiate such chill but soft vibes like theyre both so laidback.. i saw that video recently of hayoung reading out her letter to flovers on vlive and jisun just bursts into tears halfway and then theyre both just sitting there crying together lmao. idk i guess it's like hayoung wears her heart on her sleeve and she's so forthright with her emotions even if others might perceive her as too softhearted, and i think that quality of hers brings out jisun's more vulnerable side. many Thoughts tonight

other than that i do have some spicier hcs..to answer your question Yes i do have a strong preference for jisun as a top like i get why ppl would write her as a bottom but i think shes a top who likes to Tease and deny a little bit >:) also chaeng as a bratty sub...i know u write her as a top but im saying it with my whole chest shes all bark no bite and that bravado melts away the second one of the doms puts her in her place

what are ur fav fromis pairings sol?

- flover anon

jisun watching things unfold from the sidelines is so on brand of her hslgkjdflgdfg

also speaking of fromis brands i got this from my friend!! the descriptions are so on point and funny hlkgjldfgfd i think im jiwon and seoyeon hhhhhh

i actually read this really interesting fic where basically the alpha was able to release their scents with different kind of like. feelings? like able to release an intimidating kind of scent or a self-soothing one or a distressed one, kinda like that. i think omegas would be able to do that as well in a way but it was just a super interesting concept that i picked up

no favourite ships >80 but down to read everything . . . flover anon thats godly hdkfgjdlfgfd since id think most people have ship preferences at least with regards to their biases

that hayoung jisun video sounds so funny oh god they just both start crying sdflkjskdfgsdfg but also thats very valid ahahaha; i remember there was a mention somewhere of how jisun isnt one to cry but if jiwon cries first then she will. which makes me assume from what youve mentioned that jisun probably feels more emotional if another member is first? hhhhhh thats so soft though yeahhhhh

omg okay and you prefer jisun as a top hdlkgjalgasd i did Not realize that even through our 2jirom discussions; i definitely wanna agree with you though ahahha jisun feels more of a top and a bit of a tease/denier. for chaeyoung HONESTLY ive written her twice and both times as tops but i think the same like??? shes honestly super soft after you get past all the snarking and joking hlkdglsdfgdf i would completely agree

my favourite fromis pairings . . . honestly any pairings with saerom :D

[sungtaro]

hiii sorry i'm late again but!!! i'm here hehe

i'm really sorry that you're having a hard time, i hope the concert does cheer you up a bit! Plus there's just a little bit left, so try to just hang in there. I wish i could give better advice but tbh idk what to say... i'm still here for you if u even wanna talk more in depth about it!! i'm also manifesting some better weather soon hopefully.

I saw the rehearsal today at work and i'm just so excited to see them do everything live!! they didn't spoil much so i'm glad for that + just seeing them puts a smile on my face <3 I hope catsitting goes well (i love cats sm they're so cute) and lmk which plushie u took!

Uni has been going okay for me, not much to do yet but i'm already struggling with the amount of classes plus work hour plus commuting.. and i know it's only gonna get worse but alas!!! i'm just not thinking abt it and taking it day by day. I've also made some new friends which is nice!! But since i'm in engineering they're all boys T.T i need some more female energy up in here!!!

anyways yeah that was long lmao sorry, i hope you're feeling better especially since the weekend is here!!!

(im on the computer so pretend there's a honey emoji here)

pls don't worry about taking time between visiting ! i remember you mentioning how much would be on your plate with uni in the mix, so take care of yourself first, i def understand juggling work and school and commutes takes a lot of energy <3 you're just getting into the routine so i'm sure it will get easier as you get used to it. and making friends who know what you're dealing with is important ! [i'll put the rest under the cut]

haha we have the opposite in nursing, it's 99% women in my cohort, although i do get to work with a couple male RNs quite often at clinical and i really enjoy working with them. it would be nice to see a better balance in both of our fields for sure!

i actually met with one of my instructors yesterday who teaches our main med-surg class but was also my clinical supervisor last semester, and i think that helped to just talk to her about how hard the semester has been. she said she knew something was up when my grade on this last exam wasn't my usual haha. but she was reassuring and basically was like, take this one loss which isn't even that bad, and i know you know what you need to do to get the next one. but she also said that if i really find myself in a rut to come talk to her again and we'll figure it out. i'm glad to know she's got my back but i'm hoping it won't come to that, i feel more motivated today to try and get ahead on some stuff and just like you, i will take it one day at a time <3 it seems we've swapped the snow for rain and the flooding has posed its own problems, but i'll take some mud and slightly better temperatures for now until it fully warms up and the sun comes back out ~

i didn't watch the rehearsal but i saw tutu is blonde now! i'm gonna have to stay away from twt tomorrow so that i don't see any spoilers for the concert before sunday. i'll probably bring my jumbo romy since i'll be sleeping (well. more like napping) there and i usually hug him in my sleep haha. whenever i am waking up at these weird hours for concerts my tradition is to have a mimosa so i'll go pick up some supplies for that today too while i'm out hehe. gonna try to get all my work done so that i can just enjoy the show without worrying about other stuff after. i'm so excited to see what they have prepared for us !!!