#I'm just. frustrated about bodies being stupid and bad and also dumb

[blakistan]

hey did you know that apparently. unlike pretty much every other nutrient the body just. doesn't get rid of excess iron. yeah the only way to lose it faster than a basically nothing trickle is bleeding so it gets used to make new blood. and also. get this. apparently the amount of extra iron it takes to start Causing Problems is. not that much

[tyunn1ngz]

Yeonjun being your ceo hubby and you both got in a argument but had to go to a party so he spent the whole night talking with other people and you got bored so you went to go dance with a guy and Yeonjun pulled you back saying

"I know we aren't in good terms at the moment but if you think I'm gonna let you be touched by another man that isn't me the you are fucking crazy"

And either you tell him to fuck off and it turns into angry sex when you both get back or he drags you out the party and he drives to a empty car park and you both fuck in the backseat 😁

UR INSANNEEEEEEEEEEEE. cw hes kinda mean and hypocritical ? idk also i got so carried away w this dont ask me why its 1k words i literally dk what happened,,,,

no bc i imagine it would be something sooooo petty, something that clearly needed to just be chatted about but the time just slips and suddenly your attitude is just through the roof while you have to converse at this stupid party with a bunch of snobs who you decide in the heat of your anger he’s just like (you know he’s not)

and every word yeonjun speaks just serves to piss you off more >:( that dumb smile on his face like he didn’t upset you and then cater to everyone else with such ease. pretending like everything’s okay, like how dare he ! 🙄

the final straw being that maybe he laughs a little too loud at one of his employees jokes, leaned a little too close in to hear them, allowed touches that linger too long to be friendly intentions; all while he’s almost completely ignored you all evening, when you were only here for him anyway— all dolled up just for him to argue with you and then ignore you.

so you take your interest elsewhere, allowing whatever guest next hits you with a ‘no pretty little thing like you should be pouting like that’ to be your entertainment.

it doesn’t work as intended at first, your eyes consistently darting back and forth between this stranger and yeonjun, who seemingly doesn’t pay you any mind. you deflate a little, chugging back the rest of the champagne in your glass.

and then, this stranger, who you have yet to gain the name of, tries to touch you. he starts with a click of his tongue, grinning as he tilts his head a little. ‘come on, darling. don’t look so sad. i’ll keep you company… get you another drink?’ and his hands begin a slide for your waist.

alas! he’s abruptly stopped by a grasp on his wrist, tight and practically a chokehold around the limb. you know those fingers anywhere.

‘they’re fine. thanks.’ yeonjun says, composed and completely nonchalant on the surface of his tone. but you can see his grip must hurt, can hear the dip of frustration in his voice.

and then you’re being lead by his hands, gentle loving touch ever not present, until the breeze of night air bites at your skin. you frown, and pull yourself free from his clutch, standing before him looking just as frustrated as he seems to feel.

‘the hell are you doing?’ to which he scoffs a laugh, cold as the temperature that wisps at your face in bursts of wind.

‘the fuck are you doing?’

your brows furrow, anger settling under your skin again, your whole body tense. ‘what the fuck’s that supposed to mean?’

‘were you just going to let him lay his hands on you? you seemed real comfortable.’ he’ll tell you, tongue in cheek. it’s unbelievable, completely ironic that you feel maniacal.

‘you can’t be fucking serious,’ you smile despite yourself, ‘you cannot be fucking serious, yeonjun.’

silence falls over you two for a moment, every ticking second he just looks more and more pissed. you stand there practically urging him on, disbelief written across your features in such clear displays. yet, he’s still quiet, and somehow it scares you just a little. but fuck, he’s such a hypocrite! you’re the bad guy when he had hands on himself all night with no protest? you are the one in trouble like he didn’t ignore you all alone at his work party?

‘let’s go.’

you’re broken from your reverie of rageful stomping thoughts, the build up of all the mean things you want to scream at him quickly fading. now a little thrown off by the calmness of his voice, tone void of any actual emotion, your mouth drops open a little despite nothing to say.

‘huh?’

‘i said, we’re going.’

dumbfounded, you find yourself tugged along again, towards the car park where you think an awkward, tense ride home will await you. where you expect a pillow and spare blanket thrown haphazardly over the couch by the end of the night.

the last thing on your mental list to expect is being pushed up against the passenger side door, caged in with a finger under your chin, a hand on your hips. your eyes are frantic in search of explanation as you look up at your husband in shock.

his thumb moves to your lips, pressing into the soft flesh where you've already parted in a quiet gasp. yeonjun grins a little, eyes dark and full of mirth.

‘you've had an attitude all day, baby,' he'll say, 'you know well there's nobody else for me than you, hm? no matter how bratty you get with me.'

you gently bite as his finger in retort, 'still doesn't explain your sudden work wife, does it?'

his grin widens, a tad scary in terms of trying to provoke a more negative response. 'just like you throwing yourself at my coworker, yeah? bit desperate for attention, don't you think?'

you bristle, 'he was keeping me company while you whored yourself out, but okay.'

he doesn't falter like you want him to, but his hands tighten on you. he tilts his head.

'yeah? why don't you go back inside to him then? think he could fuck you right, sweetheart?'

oh.

you twitch a little, breath exhaled less confident than before, and he's quick to notice it with such a smug smile. you want to wipe it right off his face, but you fear everything you've built yourself up with tonight is quickly crumbling down.

'maybe he could.' but he can hear how unsure you sound, and he laughs. he's condescending you now. yeonjun hums, leaning closer.

'you don't sound so confident. what makes you think he could handle your attitude, anyway?'

you lack the words, the bite, falling so quiet as he stares at you intently. eyes trained on every tiny change your body language gives him. your eyes stare back, already glassy while your lips start to pout. but you snark once more.

'fuck you.'

it's a haze. because before you can even begin to think of saying anything further, he's got you in his backseat. you're bent over, his chest to your back, your attire completely dishevelled and underwear ripped down your legs, as he fucks into you so hard you know you'll feel it for days to come.

he pants hotly right into your ear, ‘you can be mad at me all you want, baby, but nobody touches you except me, you understand that?’

you can only mewl in response, already too fucked out as the pleasure turns your brain into mush. however, he’s not satisfied with that, and with a grunt he reels his hand back to lay a loud slap on the fat of your ass.

‘i asked you a question, i expect a fucking answer. or are you already too fucking stupid on my cock to talk?’

you sob, nodding your head frantically while you try to hold yourself up on trembling limbs. ‘yes, yes. i understand’

his thrusts manage to grow rougher, and you fall forward until your face presses into the leather of the seats.

‘so cute when you cry. you ready to apologise to me? hm? tell me you’re sorry for being such a brat to me.’

‘m’sorry!’ you cry, another spank this time landing on your thigh, ‘m’sorry, ‘jun. won’t happen again.’

he laughs as he throws his head back, hands on your hips to fuck you on his cock. he’s breathless but it’s so so hot.

‘liar. i’ve spoilt you too much. all you know now is how to get what you want. and this is what you wanted? for me to fuck some sense into you?’

you know it’s technically not true, he knows that too, but you start nodding frantically regardless. the haze of your pleasure renders you to his complete mercy.

‘yes! i’m sorry. just need you. always need you.’

‘you have me, angel.’ he grunts on a particularly harsh jolt of his hips, cock hitting a deeper angle as you cry out so loud you almost miss his words.

‘y’always have me. let me prove it to you? want me to knock you up? m’gonna make you a mommy.’

[louloulemons-posts]

I'm unsure if you're taking requests but if you are i'd like to send one! Could you do one where it's eddie x reader with rosacea and reader get insurance about their redness?

Cherry Cheeks

Eddie Munson X Reader

Word Count : 0.5k

Warnings : not proofread, fluffy, petnames, just cuteness, readers insecure due to rosacea, tooth rottingly sweet.

A/N : i loveee this idea, as someone who has rosacea i haven’t really seen any fics for it. thank you so much for the request 🫶🏻

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You’d always been like it, even as a child having rosy cheeks at all times. It was something you had grown with, but also something you’d had come to be insecure of.

Your cheeks were always red, especially when the cool wind whipped around, which was starting to happen now. Going into the colder months your rosacea got worse.

Sometimes it made you look like you had acne and others it hurt your eyes, but what remained was your flushed cheeks.

It was frustrating to say the least, and had caused you to push away many, feeling insecure about the way you looked. That included your boyfriend, Eddie.

He wouldn’t get it, he was perfect. Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect face, perfect skin. It was annoying how beautiful he was - not that you’d ever complain.

You’d hoped that Eddie wouldn’t have picked up on it, but sadly he wasn’t stupid. He knew you were pushing him away and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

He drove to your house, knocking on the door, being greeted by your mom. You’d heard the knocking, but thought nothing of it.

Too absorbed in putting many creams and gels on your face to help stop the flare up you were having currently. Your nose had also become very red, making you resemble Rudolph.

Hearing a rap of knuckles on your door, you called out, “Come in.” Expecting it to be your mom, but no, there he was Eddie.

“Hey,” he said.

“Uh Hi, what are you doing here?”

“Trying to figure out why I’m getting the cold shoulder from you babe.”

You couldn’t even look at him, letting out a quiet, “I’m sorry Eds.” He felt his heart break at that tone, at the fact you were upset. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

You shrugged, it felt stupid, he wouldn’t understand how could he. “Come on Sweetheart, talk to me,” he said, taking your hand so he could lead you both to your bed.

“I-it’s dumb.”

“If you’re upset about it, it can’t be dumb.” “My skin, it’s all red and splotchy and ugly. I hate it and it’s getting really back because I have something called rosacea and it’s flaring up and I just hate it and it’s embarrassing.��

“Take a breath,” Eddie spoke, rubbing his thumb on your hand. “So you’re feeling insecure about your skin?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m sorry about that. But just so you know I’ve never noticed that, I know that might not make you feel better, but I don’t think it’s as bad as you think.

“Saying that, if you wanted, we could go and see one of those skin doctors a dermo-thingy.”

“Dermatologist?”

“That��s the one. We can go see one and see if there’s anything we can do? If you want?”

“You’d come with me?”

“Course I would.”

“Thank you Eds.”

“Anything for you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Cherry cheeks.”

“Eddie!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading!

Please leave any requests 🤍

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/733536361807806464/you-know-what-medical-pet-peeve-i-kind-understand

To "answer" the first point: I know why it's a requirement, that's why I started of with "I kind understand it but I still find it stupid and hate it." I could have made it clearer that I know exactly why, but I didn't want to spend too much time on it. But to elaborate, when I was told about the requirement to take birth control, I also got an entire 10 page A4 pamphlet with every side effect and explanation as to what to expect, and what/why I'd need to do, and why I'd need to take birth control. I understood the reasoning they gave, but I also found it dumb because I'm just not in the "risk" category because I simply do not engage in any activities that could result in a pregnancy, nor would I have an interest in carrying one out if it still magically happened. Sorry Jesus 2.0. Also, I'm not in the US, and where I am abortions are legal and accessible.

As to the IUD thing. The dermatologists I spoke to, two of them, said that even if I did use a IUD I'd still be required to take birth control because it might fall out, and they also said that it's an issue of them having to prescribe the birth control together with the Isotretinoin. Basically the birth control and the acne medicine would have to be prescribed by the same doctor as a confirmation that I'm not doing it without birth control, and since they don't do IUD's it wouldn't "count" even if it was a valid option, which it isn't. No clue what happens if another doctor already prescribes a patient Birth control.

As to just not taking the birth control, I actually don't know what they'd do if you don't take the birth control, best case they don't care, worst case they might just deny me from getting the medicine I actually want I guess. I also don't know if the piss test also covers checking for the birth control, what I do know is that it tests for pregnancy, and you also get a blood test to test the liver status. Idk what more it does, I don't remember everything from the pamphlet.

There were no notes on what happens if you still get pregnant even if you're on the BC, I'm guessing you'd be taken off Isotretinoin. Not sure, didn't ask, I'm not planning on getting pregnant so it wasn't a question on my mind.

Also since I'm already talking about the pamphlet. If you are a woman, a person with an uterus, or are listed as female like on your birth certificate, you have to take birth control. Which was kinda funny because it seems to cover everyone except cis men. Menopause, transmen, even if you've had your tubes tied/hysterectomy you'd have to take it. And trans women, though I'm not sure if that was just a "cover our asses" and you don't actually have to take it if you have medical proof of being a transwoman.

It's honestly just very frustrating because I understand the reasoning, but it also makes people like me completely unable getting a treatment which could help me with a giant insecurity and give me a quality of life upgrade, just because I can't take birth control without giant side effects that could make my life much worse. Just because some people decided to fuck around and find out. It feels kinda like I'm being punished and forced towards a basically impossible choice, because of the dumb choices of others.

You know, just because some people are dumb, they ruin it for everyone who's not dumb.

TMI originally I took birth control to try and fix my skin, which is why I know the side effects on my body and stopped. I remember at some point in my teens my insecurity was so bad, and my mental health, if I had been given the information of this medication that could help me and then been basically told that I can't take it unless I again take a medication that I know causes me so much pain and I think I might have done something to myself. Like I mentioned when using birth control I had "bloating, nausea, periods , weight fluctuation, itchy for some reason, one even made me leak and then my breasts got so badly inflamed wearing a shirt was agony..." to add and explain it made my periods worse, including cramping and instead of helping with my skin it actually made that worse. I have no idea why birth control made me itchy but it also ended up with me constantly have welts all over my body because I kept scratching, maybe it somehow made me my skin more sensitive and "thin". I tried a few birth controls because my doctor back then tried to find one that worked, and none of them did.

--

You could be allergic to anything in the pills from the actual hormones to the dyes, though this description does sound like online descriptions of reactions to synthetic progesterone. Very annoying.

[timeoverload]

I did not have a good time today. I was hoping it would be easier but I was wrong about that again. The morning team lead was in a shitty mood. He was yelling at me about his frustrations as soon as I got there. I know he was venting but it feels like he is taking out his anger on me when he talks to me that way. He was getting in my face a little bit and I didn't like that. I'm not sure if he was even aware that he was acting unprofessional. That is not a good way to start the morning and he acted like that all day. It stressed everyone out. He also stayed late, which was nice of him to do but he really didn't have to. We were busy but it wasn't so bad that we couldn't manage it without his help. He has a habit of staying late during the week so that he can leave early every Friday. He didn't go home until 4:30 even though he is supposed to leave at 2:30. He was driving me nuts even when he was working on the other side of the room.

I got done with my cases at 12:30 but then I had to spend over an hour peel packing instruments. I was mad about it because I thought the reason that I had to do it was stupid. One of the eye doctors is on vacation for the next 2 weeks and the eye coordinator told me to take all of his instruments out of the cataract pans and peel pack them all. We are going to put them back in there when he gets back so all of that work seems pointless. She thinks it will save us money but I think she's wrong. Having those instruments in the pan doesn't slow me down at all and they don't move as much when they are being reprocessed so there are less chances for them to get damaged. I think they are more likely to get damaged now when there are tons of peel packs crammed into small bins. They are safer in the metal pans. They had to pay me for taking all of them out and repackaging them. The peel packs and instrument protectors are expensive but she didn't seem to care when I explained that to her. I had to run an extra cycle in the autoclave for all of those instruments and our autoclaves use a lot of energy so that isn't cheap. Everyone else thought it was a bad idea too but I had to do it anyway. I think she likes finding me more work to do because she drops stuff a lot and opens shit for dumb reasons so I have to redo it. She will see me drowning in work and she will dump more on me. She has texted and called me outside of work asking me questions about stuff. She doesn't trust me even though I have proven that I can get everything done. It also upset me that she didn't consult with anybody or tell the other eye coordinator about the changes so everyone was confused earlier. She is getting on my nerves and I think she can tell that I'm getting fed up. I'm trying not to show it but it was difficult for me to maintain my composure earlier. I wanted to talk to the director about what was going on but he couldn't make time for me today. Sometimes I feel like I am annoying him now. I haven't gotten to talk to my boss about anything either. I suppose I will just have to put up with it.

I ate breakfast and lunch today. I wanted to go outside at lunch just because I felt like I needed to leave the building to decompress. Unfortunately I don't have enough time to go somewhere else to get food. I was hangry so I didn't go anywhere. I got a salad because nothing else they had looked good. It wasn't enough but it was better than nothing. I was upset because I really just wanted to go get a burrito or something.

I lifted too much today so my body isn't very happy with me. I haven't had any more heart issues so that's good. My rib wasn't bothering me either so I'm glad I don't have to worry about that so much anymore. I am very tired though.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to stay my full shift but I did anyway. I really wanted to leave early today because I know I probably won't be able to tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be busier for me and I'm not looking forward to it. I was thinking about calling in tomorrow because I have 15 hours of PTO available but I don't think I will. I should save it. I am going to have a lot to do. I just don't feel like getting yelled at in the morning but I have to deal with it and try not to let him get to me.

I think I need to try to relax now and stop thinking about work so much. It is sort of hard for me to calm down because I saw a spider in my room when I got home. I don't know where it went. I am sure there are probably more. I don't have a problem with bugs but I hate it when they are in my room. I used to have an extreme phobia of spiders but it isn't as bad now. I am still not happy that I saw one. I'm not going to try to search for it right now because I don't have the energy at the moment. I will be ok as long as I don't wake up to it crawling on me. I am going to do my best to stop thinking about that too. I don't have much else to say. I wish I had more positive things to talk about. I really hope I sleep better tonight.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. Thanks for listening to me. :) 💖💖💖

[badboytwink]

Chapter 2: His Feelings Are My Feelings

Izaac Jensen

Tuesday, December, 19th.

*

This seating plan is frustrating. Our English teacher is such a stupid cunt, why can’t she understand that I can pay attention and talk at the same time? Now I’m across the fucking room from him and it’s driving me nuts. I can’t tell him what I’m thinking, I can’t make fun of the material we’re going over, I can’t do anything. This teacher is trying to make my life a living hell. Anger is boiling in my veins as I try to concentrate on this stupid novel we’re researching, what a load of bullshit. I don’t care about Sherlock Holmes and his gay ass roommate Watson. I care about the sandy-blonde hockey player that I’m separated from. I lift my head from the page I’m reading, glancing in the direction of the aforementioned hockey player and suddenly all my anger is gone. He brings me peace, peace from the irrational rage I’m going through like he’s a little stress ball for me.

…

Okay.. maybe, that wasn’t the most amazing analogy I could've come up with, considering I have a bad track record with stress balls, but the point is that I need my best friend to keep me from tearing this place apart like an estranged primate. It’s just a class, only an hour of my life dedicated away from him every day, it’s not that bad.

Thankfully, my imagination shows me a picture of our English teacher as a grotesque crimson imp, burning in the fiery pits of hell, being overworked by demons just like she's doing to all of us in this classroom. A small gust of air escapes my lungs, I find this to be the funniest shit I've seen all day. It's because she deserves it, I'm not a sick person, I believe that every action has an equal or opposite reaction, it's one of that science guy's laws, right? I don't know, science is Ayden's thing.

My gaze intensifies on the clock on the wall, watching the seconds tick by, while I plan my amazing escape from this hell of a classroom. I get to walk home with Ayden today because his mom is at work and can’t pick him up, otherwise I would’ve also gotten a ride home. Before I knew it, the chimes of the end of the day bell ring in my ears and I’m scrambling to put away my shit to get out of here as fast as possible.

*

We were having a casual conversation on our walk home, I took notice of the way the red hue danced along his cheekbones and the tip of his nose, likely caused by the cold December air. Turning onto the Southridge neighbourhood another conversation struck up. It was his excitement over hockey starting up again, which meant we could play together. 

“What are you gonna do if we get on different teams?” I asked curiously, before his eyes met mine, and a chuckle breezed through his lips. “I dunno, probably kill myself or something like that.”

As we reached the interior of his house a gust of warmth brushed over our shivering bodies, immediately combating with the piercing December cold. His house was almost always warm. He had one of those big houses on the edge of Southridge. Right in the front a big sign read "The Backstrom's" it was flashy and as if his family was parading around their nuclear relationship, perfect, rich, the family of my dreams. I would kill to live in this house, with a loving dad, a stable income, and a family that sits down for dinner every night and discusses their day. 

The moment we were inside his golden retriever ran up to me, coming to greet me enthusiastically. “Ryder, chill,” Ayden grumbles under his breath, probably still salty about the seating plan from this afternoon, but he doesn’t need to take it out on the poor dog.

 I've never minded when his dog mauls me like this. I love animals, like dogs and cats and stuff, but I’ve never been allowed to have any of my own, this dumb little golden retriever has always filled that empty void in my heart, though.

Ignoring the blonde’s distaste for the dog jumping on me I began to give it attention, petting it leisurely, barely thinking about how much this little fucker sheds, and how it will affect my black outfit. With closer inspection, I start to see the resemblance of Ryder and Aiden, the big brown eyes, and the sandy hair. It’s almost like they were made for each other.

“Shit!” Ayden gasps as his eyes widen. My eyebrows raise and I watch him practically throw his shoes off his feet. “What’s up?” I respond, still absolutely bewildered as to why he’s in such a panic. His jacket falls to the floor as the words rush out of his mouth. “I forgot to take out the trash this morning. My mom’s going to fucking kill me, dude.” A soft chuckle leaves my lips as I observe the sandy blonde who’s now dashing into the kitchen to retrieve the trash bag. I love how over-the-top he is, the way he's able to dramatize everything he can never ceases to make me smile.  

About five minutes of the blonde panicking, he managed to complete his task, and was able to relax, which was something I definitely appreciated more than the average person. Ayden was such a dick when he was all up in his head like this, stressed and distressed, anxious and tentative. It made me want to rip my hair out, his stress was always my stress, and it was like we had this empathetic connection. I don't believe in all that spirit shit, but sometimes late at night, I think about how connected we are, it's probably because we've known each other forever, but I can't help but think about a witch cursing us as babies, sleeping beauty style, to be able to read each other like books, now that I'm discussing it out loud it doesn't sound that much like a curse and a little more like a blessing. 

His feelings are my feelings.

[scienter]

Note: I had to copy and paste this ask from Word because when I returned to my inbox to answer it was no longer there. Idk what happened. 🤔

Hi. I'm not sure how to tumblr. I'm basically here because a friend linked me to one of your tvd metas after I started watching the show a few weeks back. I was halfway through the penultimate season when I decided to drop it altogether. Something tells me the writers either hated Stefan & Caroline or at least they didn't want them to be happy. And while I understand stefan's character trait of being consumed by revenge, he's been acting so irrationally this season that after a point even his otherwise weak-willed, bad strategist, impulsive brother was like 'I quit! You deal with your BS!' Fortunately/unfortunately I'm aware of the series finale & I think the writers never wanted Stefan's hero hair to have any character development so that they could justify his death as some sort of sacrifice but in the end it was to service his selfish brother's manpain. I wonder how people watched tvd for 8 years and I'm not saying it didn't have great moments but I also noticed how they rinsed-repeated storylines every season. For e.g Stefan seems to be dumbed down version of who he originally is and kind of reminds me of Tyler whose life pretty much changed for the worse because of Klaus or when he was so stupid that he was practically going to use his own body to put Klaus down in s4 & didn't even bother telling Caroline about it until she found out about it or something. Thankfully, this time Caroline didn't sleep with her boyfriends's mom's murderer though. What an absolute nightmare that would have been. Sorry for the rant but that wasn't the sole point of this message. I noticed you are a X-Files fan! Yay! If you don't mind me asking what's your favourite Mulder-Scully scene? And just out of curiosity,have you watched Normal People? If yes, then what's your opinion? If no, then please do watch. I think you'd love/enjoy the series.It's insane how much the characters, their individual characters arcs & overall journey is similar to that of Stefan and Caroline but with quality writing. Lastly,what does "scienter" mean? Thanks, Chandreyee. P.S: My friend is a Delena shipper & thinks Delena is the best thing to have happened on TVD * rolls eyes * but seemed to have enjoyed your blog back in the day. Hence ,the recommendation.

Hi there, Chandreyee. Welcome to tumblr!

Stefan & The TVD Finale

Oh, I’ve had my share of rants about the TVD finale and how Kevin Williamson spitefully killed Stefan because he wasn’t going to get the Stelena ending he wanted. That’s not a crackpot theory – he said as much in an interview. So yeah. We got the nonsensical finale that reverted Stefan & Damon to their season 1 characterization. That frustrated me given that I spent 8 years watching that show.

And like you one of the things I disliked about TVD was the repetitious storytelling. The formulaic storytelling drove me nuts, especially in the later seasons.  I take it as a sign that a story has gone on too long. If a writer can’t imagine new conflicts or plots then it’s time to call it quits.

Favorite Mulder & Scully Scene

Oh, wow. This is hard. Because there are ten or fifteen (or twenty) Mulder and Scully scenes that I could call my favorite.

I love their last scene in Triangle when Mulder tells Scully he loves her.  

I love their scene in Detour when Scully sings Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog.

I love their scene in Folie a Deux when Mulder tells Scully that she’s his “one in five billion.”

I love every single scene of theirs in Bad Blood.

And I love, love, love Mulder teaching Scully to play baseball a.k.a. Hips Before Hands in the Unnatural.

And of course, I’d be remiss to leave out Mulder & Scully dancing to Walking in Memphis in The Post Modern Prometheus.

I could go on. I love Mulder & Scully. They are my favorite tv couple. They are my original ship. I don’t know how to distill my love of them to a single scene.

I’ve thought about writing a Top Ten Favorite Mulder & Scully Moments meta over the years, but I’ve have never gotten around to it. Maybe I’ll do it this year. Hmm . . .

Normal People

No, I’ve never seen Normal People. I’ve heard good things about it though.

Scienter

Scienter is a legal term for intent or knowledge of wrongdoing (i.e., the defendant knew that his or her act or statement was illegal, deceptive, or wrong.) It’s random, I knew. I chose it because (1) it was short, (2) I could spell it, and (3) the word’s obscurity meant that it was available.

[brittsacademia]

Kinktober Day 3: Cockwarming

Characters: Hitoshi Shinsou X Fem!Reader

Summary: Shinsou has you cockwarm him while he studies, and he's not moving until he feels like you deserve it. That's it; that's the plot.

Warnings/Extra Tags: | PWP | Plot? Don't know her | Cockwarming | Dom/Sub tones | Soft dom!Shinsou | Sub!Reader | Swearing | A bit of praise | But also a tiny bit of humiliation | Reader either has a copper coil or is on the pill, pick your poison | 18+ characters |

Word Count: 2,213

Quick Note: day 3 was supposed to be body worship with Todoroki, but with my schedule today, I won't have time to finish it up. Instead, I opted to post a drabble that I've already finished. I apologize for the change in schedule, but the Todoroki drabble will be posted tomorrow instead! Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Minors, DNI. NSFW under the cut!

This was just about the ultimate test of your patience, though that patience was quickly running thin; you'd be edged into a near breakdown if this went on any longer. The torture was palpable, but you had a feeling that it was exactly what Shinsou wanted.

As you kept seated upon Shinsou's lap – your bare back pressed against his chest – while he busied himself with his studies, you had to focus on anything, anything but his hard cock seethed deep inside your pussy, but who the fuck were you kidding? With your mind so hazy and going dumb from the sheer need you felt, there was nothing that could distract you. His dorm room was eerily quiet asides from the pathetic little whimpers that fell from your lips.

Shinsou pulled a sharp gasp from you when he gave a single, deep thrust. It almost gave you hope that he'd finally cave and fuck your greedy little pussy, but that hope quickly vanished. The most pitiful whine you've ever heard sounded from you as he stilled once more inside you.

You wished that he hadn't done that; it was a cruel move on his part that left you unsatisfied and craving his cock even more, and Hitoshi knew what he was doing to you — enjoyed it, even. You couldn't see him, but you knew damn well that the bastard's lips had curled into a satisfied smirk upon hearing your pathetic whining.

"Are you feeling alright there, kitten?" Shinsou cooed, though you could hear the slight mockery in his tone. "What's it like just sitting on my cock like that? Hm? Comfy?"

You wanted to avoid giving Hitoshi the satisfaction of being so fucking sexually frustrated, but the hot arousal seeping from you, and your deep and laboured breaths gave you away.

Desperation soon overwhelmed you, causing you to slowly writhe your hips in an attempt to get even the slightest amount of friction. You hoped to be subtle in your actions, not wanting Hitoshi to take notice – a stupid thought, really. How you thought that your lover wouldn't take notice of your attempts at riding his cock, you didn't know. He really was turning you into a lustful moron.

"Tsk. Did I say anything about moving? Don't think – not for one damn second – you're being subtle there, kitten," Shinsou muttered; his warm breath hitting your ear as he gripped at your hips to firmly hold you in place.

His voice – the way he spoke to you – had you shuddering. Despite the calm tonality, unrelenting dominance dripped from his voice. It didn't tremble and had you not been feeling the occasional shudder from his hard cock inside you, you could have believed that he wasn't nearly as aroused as you were. He was in full control of the situation, of himself and his feelings. The same couldn't be said about you.

"Hitoshi, please. I just — fuck. I need you so bad," you begged, voice cracking.

Your pleas fell on deaf ears. "No can do, darling. S'nice and warm in there. I'm very comfortable, so hold still."

"Toshi..."

"C'mon, pretty little thing," he whispered in your ear. "You can do that for me. Just do what I say, and I'll take especially good care of you when I feel that you deserve it."

"W-When's that gonna be?" You asked.

His chest vibrated as he laughed lowly, finding your desperate state amusing. "Aw, look at you. It's not like you to be so impatient. And here I thought I'd tamed you properly; seems like I have more work to do, but let me say this: the more you squirm, the longer you'll wait."

You groaned, finding it nearly impossible to resist the temptation of moving; you were just dying to have that deliciously large cock split you apart. How Shinsou was able to keep his shit together during this entire ordeal was beyond you. Compared to him, you were laughable, and you knew that he loved it. Perhaps you did too, being his little plaything – more than you cared to admit.

You knew that you damn well could defy him and slam yourself on his thighs, fucked yourself dumb on his cock, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. He didn't even have to brainwash you; Hitoshi had you wrapped around his finger, only needing to make use of his quirk when you were being exceptionally bratty. He had you whimpering and submitting to him so effortlessly. That lazy, yet confident dominance radiating off him had you weak at the knees.

"Shit, kitten," he groaned. "That is one sloppy cunt you've got there. You're leaking all over me."

You felt the slight humiliation settle in your chest when you became aware of the generous quantities of your slick dribbling down his cock and into the fabric of his jeans that he hadn't bothered sliding down, possibly seeping through them. Neither of you would be surprised, judging by the dark, wet patch that had pooled on your lover.

Hitoshi bucked his hips once more, earning a strained moan from you. Tingles ran down your spine as the aching in your core became insufferable.

"Hitoshi! S-Stop doing that," you said.

"Oops," He mocked, loving how much he was breaking you.

You weren't certain if your ears had deceived you, but you swore you heard a slight waver in Shinsou's voice, as if he too was on the brink of letting his arousal take over. Perhaps, if you begged for more in that broken, needy tone of yours he loved so much, he'd finally fill you up with some cum.

"Please, babe, I'm so fucking horny for you. I need that fat cock to fuck me," you pleaded, not caring about your pride at the moment. "I know you want it too."

"Are you trying to sweet talk me into moving?" Shinsou chuckled. "Nice try, but it's not happening yet."

Of course, he wouldn't give in so easily. You stayed silent, trying your best to stay as still as possible and hoping to God Shinsou would come around sooner or later. Your core was fucking stirring from the sensation of his dick remaining firmly plugged deep inside of you, not providing any relief but instead serving as a way to tease you, taunt you and remind you that he was in control.

Your breaths grew increasingly hot and heavy as Hitoshi's cock pulsed up and down inside of you, just barely tickling your most sensitive area. Judging by the laughter coming from your lover, he was doing this intentionally.

"You're fucking cruel," you whined. Your throat was dry, and you sounded dehydrated. With that, a hand found its way to your throat, wrapping around it. He didn't squeeze harshly; it served more as a warning.

"Watch your tone with me, kitten," he warned. "I'm just having some fun with you."

As his hand fell from your throat, soft lips pressed against your neck, gently sucking at the overly sensitive flesh. A mixture between a whine and a moan escaped you when you felt Hitoshi's tongue trail along your pulse. Your skin was hot; you felt like it was ablaze. Minimal movements of his tongue and lips were enough to have you shivering and whimpering, only intensifying the difficulty of remaining still.

You couldn't help yourself when you moved your hands to your pussy, pressing your fingers against your clit. The slight touch was enough to send a multitude of shockwaves coursing throughout your body. It almost felt too sensitive; all of your senses were beyond crazed.

No matter how stupid the thought was, you hoped Hitoshi wouldn't take notice of the way your fingers rubbed your swollen nub. Subtlety was going out the door as you picked up the pace, moaning and desperate for an orgasm, though your wrists were soon seized by your lover, gripping them tightly as he placed your hands on his desk.

He clicked his tongue in both annoyance and disappointment at your needy defiance – you knew better. "Keep being like that, and I'll tie you up and walk away. S'that what you want? Hm? Tell me, kitten, do you really want me to leave your pretty little pussy a dripping mess with the inability to pleasure yourself? Maybe I'd get off right in front of you – gonna show you what you're missing."

When you didn't answer him, Shinsou wrapped a large hand around your neck once more. Although not restricting airflow, he applied more pressure than the last time, making sure to remind you that he was the one in charge.

"Is it?" He pressed.

"No..." you choked out, breathing a bit more forcefully due to the added pressure.

"That's what I thought," he said, lessening the pressure. His thumb and index rubbed at the skin he'd been grasping with some soft and soothing circles. He then removed his hand from your throat. "Now, you're gonna keep your hands on the desk. Think you can hold for another ten minutes?"

"I don't know... maybe?" You said.

"Try again, love."

"Y-Yeah, I can wait ten minutes," you said.

He hummed in approval at your answer. "Good girl. Now, don't touch yourself, and don't try to ride my cock. If you can hold still for another ten minutes, I'll give you what you want," Shinsou said, thrusting into you for emphasis. "Do you think you can handle that?"

You nodded, humming since you didn't trust your voice at the moment. You were torn between crying in desperation at the thought of having to wait any longer, and crying for joy because it was just ten minutes. You could handle that, right?

"That's good. Don't disappoint me. To be honest, you haven't been on the best of behaviours tonight. I'm giving you this last chance to prove to me that you're deserving of my cock," he said. "I don't necessarily want to use my quirk on you, but if you can't behave, well..."

You moaned under your breath; you weren't going to disappoint! You wanted it, and you were going to earn it, but Shinsou wasn't making it easy for you to sit still. He whispered absolute filth to you, making sure you felt his warm breath on your ear as he told you what he'd do to you, how he'd break you and make you scream with pleasure. His tongue occasionally trailed along your earlobe; he loved the way your body uncontrollably shivered at the simple gesture.

His fingers dug into your inner thighs, thumbs ghosting over your puffy lips and giving your clit some very soft flicks that left you dying for more touch. His hands would slither up your body to grip at your breasts, making sure to take your nipples between his fingers.

Everything he said and did – he made it a challenge for you to keep nesting his cock. How the hell could you stay calm with Hitoshi pushing your limits like he was?

You let out a strained cry when Hitoshi's fingers found their way back to your clit, pressing down but making no moves to stimulate you. You could feel your clit pulsing against his fingers, begging for some attention, and you had to bite your tongue and press your lips into a thin line to prevent yourself from uttering a comment that would have Hitoshi's disapproval – the last thing you wanted was for him to extend your waiting time.

"Shhh... it's okay, it's okay," he cooed, attempting to soothe your mind, but the attention only further set your body in flames.

You tried not to look at the digital clock on his desk; looking at the time would only make you feel like a minute was an hour. Distractions – what could you use to distract yourself? What could you focus on? Nothing, absolutely nothing. All you had on your mind was cumming. Shinsou had truly managed to turn you into a nearly mindless, sex-crazed maniac, and he'd barely done anything to you!

"Almost there, baby, almost there," he encouraged softly; he pressed some more kisses to your neck, nibbling with a bit more urgency than previously. "You're doing good, kitten."

Through sheer willpower, you survived the ten minutes; the reward at the end of those ten minutes motivated you to play along Shinsou's little game.

"Seems like you've learned a bit of patience, huh? Good girl," Shinsou cooed. "Now, let's see how many times I can make you cum. Hm?"

Gripping at your hips, he pushed you up as he stood from his chair as well, keeping you bent over his desk. You groaned at the feeling of Shinsou pulling out briefly; you'd gotten so used to being stuffed throughout the night. You heard the rustling of fabric and looking back, you saw your lover stepping out of his jeans. While one hand remained gripped at your hips, the other travelled up your back until it was pressed between your shoulder blades.

And all you could think was 'finally' as Hitoshi slid back into your cunt, pulling a loud, shameful moan from you as he was all but gentle with your body. It was just what you needed after what you'd been subjected to.

[tyongxnct]

𝐅𝐔 - 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐒𝐮𝐡

pairing: Johnny x reader

summary: You wanted to be all alone with your boyfriend on New Year’s Eve, but after a heavy fight, he left you before the clock struck midnight. You were all alone the whole night while he was with another woman. The woman he told you not to worry about. One day, after forgiving him for leaving you alone, you find out that she was texting him, that he cheated and you breakup. But breaking up with the love of your life was hard and you couldn’t stop yourself from loving him.

song: FU - Miley Cyrus

genre: established relationship, angst, smut

warnings: smut, cheating, swearing, alcohol consumption

word count: 5.7k

A/N: first of all thank you so so much for 900 followers!! You have no idea how happy and thankful I am. I hope you enjoy this!! 💖💖💖

taglist: @aesthetichrj @bvbyxuxi @bitchenderyy​ @chitaphrrrr​

this is fiction!

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Oh, you broke my heart I told you I was weak for love But then you went around And did what you wanted to do And now I'm crying, crying

“Don’t you fucking get it Y/n?! There’s nothing going on between me and her! Why are you always so fucking insecure?!”

“Are you being serious right now? I just-“

“Just what Y/n?! Huh?! Do you always have to ruin everything?! One night, one fucking night and you can’t keep your mouth shut! You’re so damn frustrating. It’s fucking New Year’s Eve and you just have to annoy the shit out of me!” Johnny yelled at you. He closed his eyes to calm down, but all he saw was red and he needed to go.

“But Johnny-“

“No! I don’t wanna hear anything. I’m leaving. Happy fucking new year.” He cut you off, he didn’t care about your feelings at that moment. All he wanted was fresh air and be far, far away from you.

“No please don’t go I’m sorry-“

You tried to apologize, but Johnny simply didn’t care.

It was almost midnight and you didn’t want the night to end like this. All you wanted was spend the night with Johnny. Just you, Johnny, wine, and a great dinner. This was your third New Year’s Eve with Johnny and your first New Year’s Eve alone with him. You had spent the last two years with your mutual friends at some party, but this year you wanted to be just with him.

Things escalated quickly.

First he was distracted, he was on his phone the whole dinner and then, while watching a movie he chose, he was also on his phone. Then, he got a phone call and was in your shared bedroom talking for almost an hour.

Your special night together suddenly turned to a shit night for you.

You were suspicious about his behavior. Always on his phone, always talking to someone and whenever you asked whom he was talking to he answered with a simple ‘a friend’.  But you knew exactly who that friend was and when you had enough, you confronted him about her.

Johnny left your apartment, he was slightly tipsy, the wine you drank was in his system and he knew that his next decision was stupid, so dumb and would destroy everything you had built, but in that moment, he didn’t care.

So his next move was to call her and ask her if she was free. It was New Year’s Eve, she was probably at some party or with her family, but she quickly dropped her friends and the party she was at to meet Johnny at her apartment.

The clock struck midnight and instead of kissing you, Johnny’s lips were on her lips and you were finishing the second bottle of wine. You sat on the balcony and watched the firework with tears rolling down your cheeks whereas your boyfriend was kissing another girl, pleasing another girl, and breaking his promises.

That night, you celebrated New Year’s Eve with tears in your eyes and pain in your heart.

Johnny woke up in the middle of the night.

He looked to his left to see you sleeping next to him but when he saw someone else next to him in bed, he remembered what he did. He remembered how he told you that there was nothing going between her and him and then he remembered how he fucked her, how he cheated on you.

“Fuck.” He mumbled as he looked at the clock on the wall.

03:27

He didn’t kiss you on midnight. He wasn’t with you, you weren’t in his arms, someone else was.

Johnny left the apartment without thinking and rushed home to you. Johnny couldn’t describe how much regret he felt, how guilty he felt. He wanted to cry, he wanted to delete last night from his memory.

He unlocked the door and it was dark inside of the apartment, you were probably sleeping. Johnny’s heart was beating against his chest, he didn’t know what to do. Should he tell you what happened last night? Should he tell you he cheated and broke his promises?

Johnny saw you curled up on the couch, your eyes closed but swollen, you wear wearing his hoodie and hugging the pillow tightly. The balcony was still open and the winter breeze entered you apartment. Your body was cold, hands formed to fists and brows furrowed. Two empty bottles of wine on the coffee table and one used wine glass.

Johnny got on his knees and pressed little kisses on your forehead, your cheeks and nose. He wanted to kiss your lips so bad, but his lips still tasted like the other woman he had been with that night.

“B-Baby?” he whispered softly, “Baby, come on let’s go to bed.”

You didn’t react.

Johnny carried you softly to your bedroom and tucked you in your bed. After getting ready for bed, he also got under the covers and pulled your body closer to his and held you tightly in his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” He cried out. Johnny felt terrible, he couldn’t lose you, the only option was to keep it a secret and delete last night from his memory. Johnny fell asleep crying.

You woke up between Johnny’s arms. He was holding you tightly and it didn’t look like you could get out of his arms anytime soon. He was soring softly and you could tell he was tired.

You stayed in bed for another hour and Johnny slowly woke up.

“Can you let me go?” you asked coldly. You were still hurt.

“S-Sorry.” He let go of you and you were about to leave the room but Johnny stopped you.

“Listen… I-I know you’re mad and I know I made a big mistake. I shouldn’t have left. I’m the biggest idiot on the planet, I’m so sorry I left you alone last night and… and the things I said. I didn’t mean them. I love you. Only you.”

Your hand was on the door handle, holding tightly. You didn’t answer, you didn’t know what to say. Were you still mad? Yes. Were you still hurt? Yes. You just wanted to be alone.

“Y-You left me alone o-on New Year’s Eve. You just left me all alone, I wanted to be with you. You know that I don’t have anyone. You know that I’m all alone and you still left. I only have you but you left me too.”

That was true. You had lost your parents a couple years ago and you don’t have any siblings. You don’t have any family left and you have only Johnny in your life. You were never the person to find friends easily, but Johnny was different. You were friends with his friends, but you were too shy and insecure to call them or text them. You hated it.

“I know- I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you, baby. Do you want to have dinner again tonight? I’ll cook. Or we can go out to that restaurant you love, let’s go on a date, hmm? Tell me baby. Tell me what you want.” He got up and walked closer to you. You stepped back on reflex.

Johnny stopped on his tracks and looked at you, worry written all over his face.

“D-Do you hate me that much?” he whispered.

“I-“

You didn’t know what to say.

“I think I need to be alone.” And then you left your bedroom and locked yourself in the bathroom and started crying.

Johnny knew he had to leave you alone, you had to calm down and he needed to find a way to make it up to you. He knew the fucked up, and the secret he carried was haunting him. Whenever he looked at you, he felt his heart ache.

Maybe you were blinded by your love for him or maybe you were just stupid, but you couldn’t be mad at him any longer.

You entered the bedroom and saw Johnny looking on the ceiling like a lost puppy. He instantly got up and looked at you. “D-Do you want me to leave?”

You were still crying and playing with your fingers. “I-I want to go o-on a that date with you. B-But that doesn’t mean I forgive you. I’m still hurt.” You sobbed.

“Okay baby, anything for you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I left you alone. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I love you so much.” He stroked your tears away and cupped your cheeks. “I’m not going to hurt you again.”

Ooh, it seemed like everything was going fine I found the love that I thought was gonna last Then I accidentally saw a few things in your cell I even LOL'd, man, I should've known Why, why you're doing what you do You, you might as well just tell the honest truth See, I'm not really down with this This ain't no texting shit Know I got no biz, But it is what it is

I don't really have much to say I was over it the second that I saw her name

The first couple weeks of January, Johnny acted like the perfect boyfriend. He did everything he could to make you happy, to make you smile brightly at him.

You could see that he tried to make his mistake up to you and you enjoyed how he showered you with love. You were sure that he was the one, that Johnny was your future.

But that one night, January 31, changed everything.

You were waiting for Johnny to finish his shower. It was date night and you decided to go to the movies. While you were scrolling through your Instagram feed, Johnny’s phone ringed non-stop. He received text after text and even two calls and the sound annoyed the shit out of you. You got up to turn his sound off, but when you accidently saw the last text he got, you almost dropped the phone. You didn’t want to go through his texts, but you couldn’t stop yourself from reading the text she sent him.

19:27 Sujin: hey baby, I miss u

19:27 Sujin: are you free tonight? My pussy missed your dick!!!

19:28 Sujin: *picture attached*

It was a picture of her, half naked, you could fully see her breasts.

You should’ve known. You should’ve known that he lied when he told you that there was nothing going on between him and her.

You couldn’t cry, all you could do was laugh. Laugh at how stupid you were.

Why did he lie to you? Why didn’t he just tell you the truth? You were done with him and with his lies. Maybe it was your own fault. You knew that there was something, but you still believed him and took him back that night on New Year’s Eve. He said so much mean and disgusting things to you, Johnny acted like you were crazy and just out of your damn mind. He called you insecure. Johnny called you so many things and in the end, you were right.

You went to your shared bedroom and started packing a couple of your things. You needed to leave. Now.

You couldn’t cry. You wanted to, but you couldn’t. There were no tears left.

You packed some clothes, you weren’t going to move out. He cheated, he broke your heart and he has to leave. But you couldn’t stand being next to him. You would come back when he was gone.

Johnny entered the bedroom with a towel around his waist. His hair was still wet and little drops of water glistened on his body. Suddenly all you could see were her traces on his body. Love bites on his neck, down to his chest.

“Babe?”

You realized you were staring at him a little too long, the love bites were gone and Johnny came closer to you with a smirk.

“We can skip the movie if you want to.” He put two fingers on your chin and leaned down to kiss you, but you pulled back. Almost tripping over your bag.

“Babe? You good?”

“Cut the bullshit Johnny. I want you to leave and take all of your fucking shit with you. We’re done. I’ll come back when you’re gone.”

Johnny looked at you with so much confusion written all over his face. “Babe what are you talking about?”

“Go to your whore. She probably has enough space for you two.” You said with no emotion as you grabbed your bag.

Johnny still didn’t understand what you were talking about. “W-What are you saying? Baby I really don’t understand- What do you mean? Whore?”

You started laughing, “Come on, you know exactly who I’m talking about. She misses you so much Johnny. Poor girl needs her hole filled with your fucking cock. Go to her. She’s waiting for you.”

Johnny still didn’t get what you meant. “Fucking hell, I saw her texts Johnny! I’m leaving.”

It took Johnny a minute to realize what just happened.

You were about to leave the room when he stopped you. “Listen- please just listen to me.”

You scoffed, “There’s nothing you could say, Johnny.”

“T-There was nothing serious. S-She just texted me shit like that-“

“No Johnny! This isn’t just you and her texting, this is about you being not loyal to me. You lied to me, you called me names, you broke all your promises and you still cheated. You cheated on me with her, you don’t have to lie anymore. I won’t stop you anymore. Feel free to do whatever you want. Not that I stopped you from doing whatever you wanted before, but now you don’t need to come back to me anymore.”

You voice was filled with venom, Johnny knew he fucked up and he thought you would never find out, but now that you did, he didn’t know what to do or what to say to keep you, to make you stay.

“No no no don’t go. L-Let’s talk about this. Baby please don’t leave me. I love you.” Johnny started crying. For the first time in your life, you saw him cry.

You didn’t know how to feel about seeing him cry, but you listened to your brain and not to your heart like you always did and your brain told you to leave. You were done with him. So you left without looking back.

I got two, ooh, ooh letters for you One of them's F and the other one's U 'Cause what you gotta do, is go get yourself a clue Only two, ooh ooh letters to choose One of them's F and the other one's U SMH, I'm pressing send on you

Johnny texted you about thousand messages every day since you left. He called and left thousand voicemails. After two weeks, you also got mail with letters. Letters filled with apologies.

You hated him so much, but you couldn’t stop listening to his voicemails or stop reading his texts and letters. Maybe it was because you missed him or maybe you felt better now that he ran after you like a lost puppy. But you couldn’t let go of him if he keeps sending you things like that.

22:04 J: I won’t stop trying.

22:05 J: I love you too much to let you go.

You laughed at that. He loves you? Is cheating his way of loving you? You decided to answer him.

22:10 you: Fuck u Johnny. You don’t know anything about love so just stop and don’t embarrass yourself.

22:10 J: I can’t believe you texted back. I knew you were reading my messages. Please, let’s talk.

22:13 you: Don’t you get it? I don’t want to see you.

22:14 J: Okay, then answer the phone. Let’s just talk.

Your phone started ringing and you almost answered. It rang and rang and he called you again and again, but you never answered.

22:50 you: stop calling. Stop texting. Just leave me alone.

You shook your head angrily.

He left you alone on New Year’s Eve, why was it so hard for him to leave you alone now?  

Could've been this, could've been that We done been there, we done been back You ain't with it, could've said that Why you tripping, let me hit that I ain't trying to argue more. I do it all for you, You know you're my right eye Baby, let me show you

Johnny was about to lose his mind.

After you left nothing made sense anymore. He was lonely. Lonelier than ever. Johnny has many friends but he never left the apartment to hang out with them.

There was no point in going out and coming back to a lonely home.

He missed you, he missed everything about you. He realized, after you left, that he loved so many small things about you. For example, the way you sneezed, that was the cutest sound he has ever heard or the way you always fell asleep with a little smile on your face. A smile he missed.

Johnny missed to see you on the couch, a pillow between your arms because you couldn’t hug Johnny, he had to take a shower or for whatever reason he couldn’t watch tv without you.

Oh, how he wished he could just drop everything and cuddle with you on the couch. You could’ve been in his arms right now, you could’ve been kissing him like you always did. You loved kissing him and he missed the feeling of your lips on his.

He regrets cheating on you. He regrets it so much and there’s not a single day without him crying about that.

Johnny rarely cried, you knew that, but after you left, he couldn’t stop his tears.

He had to show you how much he loved you, how much you mean to him. Johnny had to show you, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Johnny would do anything to get you back.

Oh, I know what's been going on Don't even try to act like Mr Super Nonchalant What makes you think I'll stick around I'm not as stupid as you sound And you sound really dumb right now From A to Z, ooh I got a lot of nasty things flowing up in my head But none of them are worth my time You're not even worth this rhyme And I don't, I don't give a flying

It was hard for you to find a place to stay and Johnny knew that, but even though he wanted to be with you, he left your apartment so you could stay there. The only friends you had were Johnny’s and it was hard for you to ask them for help, you hated to ask other people for help, because you didn’t want to be a burden. That’s why you stayed in a hotel for two days, until Johnny texted you that he left the apartment. It hurt you a little, the fact that he was gone but you tried to ignore that feeling, just like you tried to ignore everything else he did. You overthink everything and you were scared to annoy his friends with your presence, which wasn’t even the case. After Johnny’s friend heard about what Johnny did and how he broke your heart, they lectured him and were angry. Yes, he was their friend but you were their friend too and what Johnny did was unacceptable. A couple of his friends reached out to you, they wanted to be there for you and help you go through the pain.

A month after your breakup, you met Johnny again. One of your mutual friends held a BBQ party and she insisted for you to come. Of course she told you about Johnny also being invited but you didn’t care about him at that moment. You wanted to have fun, but now, with him right in front of you, you wanted to go back home and hide under your bed. But you wouldn’t show him that.

You felt his eyes on you, no matter what you did or where you were.

Playing beer pong outside, his eyes were on you.

Cutting tomatoes in the kitchen, his eyes were on you.

Drinking your cocktail in the living room, his eyes were on you.

Not like a creep, of course. He watched you like someone who saw the love of their life for the first time and he saw the love of his life for the first time after the breakup. He thought about ways to approach you, to talk to you and apologize, but the timing was always bad.

Except for now.

“Y/n.”

Your turned around as soon as you heard his voice. The others were inside whereas you went outside for fresh air. Johnny followed you, he saw an opportunity to talk to you and he wouldn’t let go of that.

“Don’t walk away- please.”

“Why would I stay here with you?” you scoffed.

“Just listen to me, just once-“

“You think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know what you’re going to say? It’s always the same shit. Oh, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t mean anything to me. Please forgive me. Blah Blah Blah.” You said in a mocking tone.

“But it is the truth! She doesn’t mean anything to me. I just love you, it was a mistake-“

“Johnny, come on. You sound so dumb right now. Just stop. Whenever I see your face, I just want to punch you and her, but you aren’t worth it. She isn’t worth it to be in my head. Fuck you and fuck her. Oh, wait, you did that already, right?”

Maybe you were being a little pathetic right now, but you didn’t care.

I don't really have much to say I was over it the second that I saw her name

“I don’t really have much to say. I was over it the second that I saw he name on your phone.” you said, looking him straight in the eyes. Your voice was so cold, just like your eyes.

“But I have things I need to tell you. I need to tell you how much I love you and how sorry I am. Just listen to me, just this once and If you’re still done with me, than okay, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Fine. I’m so fucking sick of this.” You mumbled.

“I didn’t lie to you on New Year’s Eve. There was really nothing between me and her. She would text me but I never really replied to her. We went out a couple of times, but not just us. We went out with other friends and I barely noticed her. We were just friends, even less than that. On New Year’s Eve you pushed my buttons, I’m sorry to say it like that, but something inside me switched and all I wanted to do is to h-hurt you.” He looked down, ashamed, “I was drunk and angry. A really bad combination. I called her, she invited me to her home and before I knew it, I woke up with her next to me.”

You closed your eyes, you tried to imagine little butterflies and the sea, but all you could see was Johnny with another woman.

“As soon as I woke up, I came home and I-I didn’t know what to do. I hated -hate- myself for what I did that night, for hurting you and leaving you alone like that and for c-cheating on you. I know it’s not an excuse but I was so drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. It just happened. When I saw you at home, asleep on the couch, it broke my heart. I wish- I wish I could turn back time and stay at home with you that night.”

“Johnny-“

“I’m not done. I deleted that night from my memory. I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t lose you. I was selfish and I thought that you would never find out. B-But that night you saw her messages, you only saw her messages. It looked like we were still texting and s-sleeping with each other. But here-“ he pulled out his phone and showed you their conversation.

“I always told her how much I loved you and that she should leave me alone. That I did the biggest mistake in my life and that you’re the love of my life. I swear Y/n, I am so sorry, so fucking sorry that I hurt you like this. But I mean it when I say that I only love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I did so many mistakes and I totally get that you h-hate me but I want to show you how much I actually love you and I know that you love me too.”

You scrolled through their texts. He said the truth, he always told her to fuck off and leave him alone, she was also blocked now. Johnny told her that he wants only you and that he would spend the rest of his days regret hurting you, but he’d also spend the rest of his days loving you.

“I-“ you didn’t know what to say.

He was right, you still loved him.

“Johnny… can you take me home?”

I got two, ooh, ooh letters for you One of them's F and the other one's U 'Cause what you gotta do, is go get yourself a clue Only two, ooh letters to choose One of them's F and the other one's U SMH, I'm pressing send on you

Johnny was bigger than you and stronger, but right now you felt like you were the stronger one.

You pressed him against the wall as you pressed your lips on his. You caught Johnny off guard but not even a second later, he kissed you back and put his hands on your waist.

“Don’t touch me.” you pulled away to say this and when he thought it was over, you kissed him again. Your hands were on his shirt, slowly pulling it up. When you were done, you pressed your hands lightly on his chest. You loved every inch of Johnny’s body.

Johnny was obviously stronger than you and he could push you away easily, but he couldn’t, until your hands landed on his belt. “N-No, Y/n wait-“ he said as he pulled away.

You ignored him.

You kissed right above his jeans, slowly going up leaving wet kisses on his belly and chest. You couldn’t reach his neck, you wanted to leave love marks, and that made you mad.

“Fucking big asshole. Why do you have to be so big?!”

“Y/n- I thought you wanted to talk? I don’t want you to do anything you might regret later.”

“Just shut up and let me do what I want to do.”

“You’re drunk.” Johnny said. Yes you had a couple cocktails but you knew what you were doing.

“Fuck you, I’m not drunk! Do you want to fuck me or not?!” you yelled now, annoyed that he hesitate so much.

“Of course I want to fuck you but-“

“No buts. Take off your pants.”

Johnny didn’t move. He didn’t know what to do. On the one hand he wanted to feel you close again, on the other hand he was scared to push you further away after having sex with you.

“Fine I’ll do it myself.” And you did. You unbuttoned his jeans, pulled it down along with his boxers and kneeled down.

His cock was semi-hard. The way you acted turned him on and now you’re on your knees looking absolutely beautiful and sexy.

You slowly started pumping his cock and Johnny bit his lip as he watched you. His tip was leaking with precum and you used it to make it easier to pump him. You put your lips on his tip and kissed it and then you licked it like a lollipop. You twirled your tongue on his tip, your hand still pumping him up and down. When you put his cock in your mouth, Johnny’s hands softly gripped your hair.

You pulled away, “No touching.” And he let go instantly. He was going crazy, he needed to touch you.

You put his cock back into your mouth and bopped your head. Johnny’s cock was big, you couldn’t fit all of his cock inside your mouth but the way he hit your throat turned him even more on. He was a moaning mess. You softly played with his balls and you felt him twitch. He was about to cum and right before he could, you stopped and pulled away.

“Fuck- What why did you stop? Are you alright?” he asked you. First frustrated that you stopped him from coming and then worried that he hurt you.

“Lay down.” You ordered him.

Johnny listened. He laid down on your bed and watched you take off your dress and your underwear. A sight he had missed so much, so fucking much.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“Stop talking.” You ignored the butterflies in your belly.

You crawled on top of him and slowly put his cock inside of you. You were definitely wet enough. Johnny lost his mind, he missed being inside of you. He missed being this close to you.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He moaned and his hands landed on your hips.

You grabbed his hands and pressed them down on each side of his head. “I said no touching, Johnny. No. Fucking. Touching.” You didn’t stop moving your hips as you said that you knew it turned him on as you felt him twitch again.

You weren’t going to lie. You felt amazing. You were embarrassingly close, all you did was sucking his dick and riding him for not even a minute.

You kept your hands on his wrists as you rode him faster and faster. The way you clenched around him, the little sounds that left your from kissing bruised lips, he loved it. Johnny loved you.

“I’m going to c-cum.” He moaned out.

“C-Cum inside of me, I want every drop of your cum Johnny.” You were so close and when Johnny came inside of you and closed his eyes while moaning your name out loudly, you came too.

You let go of Johnny’s wrists and collapsed on top of him as he pulled his cock out of you.

Chest against chest, heartbeat against heartbeat.

Your head was in the crook of his neck and you were breathing heavily. You tried to catch your breath and stop yourself from crying, but Johnny heard you sniffle and not even a second later, you started sobbing in his arms.

“Y/n? Are you crying?” he rubbed your back softly, not sure what else to do.

“Fuck you. I’m not crying I’m dancing you i-idiot.” You cried out.

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling, you didn’t notice how hard you were crying until it got hard to breath.

“Hey hey hey, I’m sorry. Look at me. You have to calm down.” Johnny softly pushed you up and you wrapped your arms around your boobs, suddenly feeling completely exposed and vulnerable.

Johnny was about to move away and you immediately hugged him tightly, you were scared that he would leave after fucking you. You were scared that you were just imagining this and that he wasn’t actually here. But Johnny actually just wanted to give you his shirt.

“Fuck you. I hate you. Y-You broke my heart.” You cried out as you hid your face in his neck.

Johnny slowly stroked your hair and with his other hand he held you tightly. “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you, but I love you so, so much.”

He was crying too.

“Y-you really don’t deserve me. Fuck you for hurting me, fuck you for cheating on me and fuck you… I-I still… love you.” You finally said it. It was so hard but all the weight on your shoulders vanished and you felt relieved.

“I love you. Only you. Please forgive, please let me love you again. Please I need you so much.” Johnny said and left little kisses on your shoulder.

You pulled back softly and looked him in the eyes. Your eyes were as red as his and full of pain and love.

“Please don’t hurt me ever again, please no matter how much you want to hurt me, just yell at me o-or I don’t know throw something at me… b-but don’t do that again…”

Johnny’s heart ached, he would never forgive himself for hurting you like this, for breaking your heart. It was a punch in the face to hear your words. Was he really such a monster? Yes he was. He was a monster who hurt his better half for something so stupid and now you were suffering. You were always right and he would do anything to make you happy. How could he even get mad at someone as kind and lovely as you? How could he even think of hurting you?

“D-Don’t say that. I will never hurt you again, I promise. I could never get mad at you, Y/n. Everything was my fault, I did this to us and you never deserved this. You are too good for me and I’ll make sure to show you how much I adore you, how much you mean to me. I’ll never let go of your hand.” He took your hand in his and placed a kiss on your knuckles, “I love you, Y/n. Can you give me a second chance?”

You looked him in his teary eyes. You were going to follow your heart and your heart told you to try again. You could see his love for you in his eyes and you could hear it in his broken voice. You were ready to give him a second chance, you could forgive him but you would never forget what he did.

You nodded softly “Y-You have to make it up to me and it won’t be easy.”

“I’ll do anything.”

“Okay.” You breathed out.

“Thank you.” He looked you in the eyes with his brown puppy eyes and you couldn’t stop yourself from pecking his lips. You pulled back and watched his reaction. Johnny smiled softly and both of you slowly leaned in and kissed. A soft and slow kiss, with so much passion and longing.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[yourmidnightlover]

Hiii❤

Bestie 🎉🎉🎉congrats on 1k🥳🥳🥳, i'm so happy for you

I love your writing so much so to celebrete i chosse to request this promps: Smut 1 & 2 and Fluff 1

Much love ❤

ahh, this was very well played, my friend. i’m very excited 😌

if anyone would like to request another blurb, the link can be found here.

smut #1: “i’m just pregnant, you don’t have to go that easy”

smut #2: “... you’re not wearing underwear?!”

fluff #1: “will you let me rub your back?”

CW: smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink (duh), pregnant sex, horny reader and spencer (duhhh), creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

you were now nearing the sixth month in your pregnancy. you were just ready to be able to see yours and spencer’s sweet baby girl growing inside of you. what didn’t help with your impatience was the immense pain you felt when doing nearly anything - and the fact that spencer refused to fuck you.

“shit,” you groaned after dropping a plate because of a sharp pain in your lower back, shattering the glass on the floor.

apparently trying to lean down to pick up the pieces was not the right call, because you felt yet another pain in your back, shooting you right back up.

“sweetheart?” spencer poked his head in the kitchen from the living room where he was working on old case files.

“yea?” you strained a response, turning slowly on your heels in attempt to not hurt your back any further.

“honey, what’s wrong?” he walked over to your obvious struggling position, placing a hand on your shoulder and lower back.

“i was doing the dishes and then my back hurt really bad and then i dropped the plate and then i tried to pick it up and that only made it worse and then i corrected it and now you’re here and i’m still hurting really bad and i’m sorry,” you rushed out, not realizing tears were falling down your face until he wiped them away for you.

“you don’t have to apologize,” he chuckled with a supportive smile. “it’s okay to be in pain. although i know it must hurt. you’ve been carrying around another human being in your body, it’s bound to bring discomfort.”

“yea ‘discomfort’ is one way to put it,” you chuckled as you wiped your own tears, leaning into his touch. “it really hurts.”

“will you let me rub your back?” he asked, his fingers tracing patterns on the very place he offered to massage.

“really?” you mumbled into his chest.

“yea, really,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“yes, please. that sounds amazing,” you sighed and pulled back from his touch. “right now?” he nodded. “ugh, i love you so much.”

soon enough you were laying down on your bed, your face down in your pillows in wait for spencer. you would guess that being frustrated isn’t good for the baby, and maybe that frustration included sexual frustration.

ever since you got pregnant, spencer refused to have sex with you. he just wanted what was best for the baby, but your hand wasn’t cutting it anymore. you needed something more. you needed spencer.

so... maybe you decided to tease him a bit during the massage. was that such a crime? by you just wanted your lovers help with your situation.

and tease him you did. well, not so much as tease but taunt.

“that feels really good, spence,” you groaned as he worked the flesh on your shoulders.

see, he had a thing for you in a sundress. a big thing. and when a sundress is paired with no underwear... things are bound to ensue.

“mmm,” you moaned once more. “fuck, right there, spencer.”

“here?” he questioned, hitting the same spot once more.

“mhmm,” you nodded your head in the pillow, sighing out with relief. “feels so good. can you go a bit lower?” his hands trailed down your back a bit more. “lower...” they went to your lower back, his weight going onto your upper thighs. “right there,” you announced as he stopped at your lower back.

his hands worked wonders on your muscles. you weren’t lying about being sore from carrying a baby around.

“i actually have a surprise for you,” you grinned, in spite of him not being able to see you.

“what would that be?” you could hear the confusion laced in his voice.

“look a bit lower on me, baby,” you moved your hips up so he could get a nice look at your bare core.

“... you’re not wearing any underwear?!” he exclaimed, not moving from his spot on your legs.

“nope,” you mocked him. “i need your help, spence,” you pouted, knowing he couldn’t refuse.

“i don’t want to hurt t-“

“don’t want to hurt the baby, i know!” you huffed. “but i also know that you know that there’s no harm in having sex within the second trimester. i’m cleared for it from my doctor and i’m frustrated spencer,” you tried to explain, turning onto your back to give him a better look at you pouting.

“do you know how frustrated i’ve been?” he asked himself. “you walking around here in your little sundress and moaning underneath me?” he motioned to the noticeable bulge in his pants. “i want nothing more than to fuck you.”

“then just do it,” you argued, now sitting up to face him, you now sitting in his lap. “please. i need you,” you began grinding your bare, wet core against his leg.

your head dropped into the crook of his neck, he let his leg begin grinding underneath you to give you more friction. he connected his lips to your neck and sucked a dark mark into your skin as your breathing began to pick up.

“spencer,” you kissed beneath his earlobe before sucking it between your lips, nibbling it gently to feel his body shiver beneath your touch.

“c’mere,” he moved his nimble fingers below the hem of the dress, allowing them to stroke gently through your folds.

you pulled back and looked him in the eyes before connecting your lips together. you drew his bottom lip between the two of yours, much like you had his earlobe, and moaned into his mouth as he drew circles on your clit. your chest heaved against his own as you reached your high, your breathing turning into pitched squeals as your nails dug into spencer’s back.

he let you ride out your high before lifting you up gently, sliding you back up the bed to lay down. he slid between your legs as he pulled the sundress up and over your body, your stomach and breasts now revealed to him.

“so fucking beautiful,” he awed before connecting his lips to one of your breasts, marking it while kneading the other.

he took your nipple between his teeth, relishing in the faint moans leaving your mouth as he worked your body. he switched breasts and began grinding his knee between your soaking core. your hands found his hair, tugging it lightly to bring his lips back to yours.

“please, spencer,” you begged. “i need you so bad,” you pulled his shirt off as he worked at his own belt, pulling his pants and underwear down.

he started kissing down your stomach once more, you knew where he was going. you didn’t need that anymore. you just needed him. so so bad. you pulled him up once more by his shoulders.

“just, please,” you reached between the two of you and lined him up at your center.

he slowly pushed into you, emphasis on slowly, to allow you to adjust to him once more. he treated you as a glass vase on the edge of a shelf as he began slowly rocking into you.

“so fucking tight,” you could tell he was holding back.

“harder, spence,” you sighed as you bit into his shoulder.

“i don’t want to-“

“i’m just pregnant, you don’t have to go that easy,” you reasoned before kissing the mark you made on his shoulder.

“you want me to go harder?”

“mhmm, need it,” you sighed into his warm skin.

“i can go harder,” he started slowly speeding up his thrusts into you. “want me to fuck another baby into you? gonna wreck you so much.”

“yes, please,” you wrapped your legs around his waist, allowing him to get even deeper into you. “fuck, yes.”

“you want me to fill you up again? make you mine over and over and over?” he kissed beside your ear as his hips began snapping into you at a ruthless pace.

“oh my god, yes. i want it so so bad,” you lifted your hips to meet his.

“walking around in sundresses all the time, looking so good carrying my baby, you think you’re so fucking cute. don’t you, bunny?” he growled. “remember how we got into this in the first place? these stupid fucking dresses, right? or does my dumb bunny not remember?”

“i-i remember,” you sighed, feeling that warmth beginning to pool in your stomach once more.

“you remember how these make me feel? how they make you look? i bet that’s why you wear them all the time. to drive me fucking insane,” he whispered, you felt the warmth spread over your entire body. “you know how many times i’ve had to excuse myself because i see you walking around in things like that, looking how you do? to. fucking. many,” he punctuated each word with a particularly harsh thrust.

“spencer! fuck!” you threw your head back as you came on his cock, him following you over the edge and spilling himself into you with cries that were similar to your name.

“it’s a good thing you’re already pregnant,” he laughed after he took a few minutes to calm down, laying on your chest as you stroked his hair. “because after that, you definitely would be.”

“i don’t think i’d mind,” you sighed. “as long as you keep fucking me like that, i really don’t care at all.”

[kart0]

meds update plus rant: day 20

almost 3 weeks guys ! I'm doing it !! I need to schedule an appointment cuz I only have 10 pills left oof

hmm...folks, not gonna lie... these few days have been tough.. I started becoming more and more frustrated cuz I felt like they weren't working ( days 16-18 ) and my mom also asked me a few days ago "so... Dani... have you been feeling better ?" in which I replied "nope" and she asked "do you feel any different at all ?" and also again "nope"

btw it's not PMS lmao I swear

and then I got even more upset that, maybe I might just be undiagnosed with adhd ? cuz I'm still struggling with doing tasks, procrastinating, forgetting stuff, getting overwhelmed easily, getting angry easily. I had to change my bed sheets and I really started crying. I am so tired.. and it's hard to change the sheets cuz of my mattress and the shape of my bed and also I have to fold and put the comforter a certain way and its not exactly a simple and fast task and it can mess up the sheets and make everything look and feel wonky and... like fr I am not exaggerating... and then also I just. started going on a spiral yet again :(

I feel so insecure and I just wanna cry all the time. because I'm so tired. I keep forgetting or procrastinating to fix my sleep schedule. it's 2am rn...

I feel horrible with my appearance, I hate my face and my body, I hate everything about how I look. and I feel very ugly all the time, I'm too self conscious and too self aware of my surroundings and I can't never relax... don't slouch, don't show your teeth when speaking or smiling, don't move your head too much, don't touch your hair, don't stand this way it makes you look weird. I'm exhausted, why can't I just accept how I look...

I feel dumb, and untalented. I feel lazy, and stupid, because I keep seeing people around me succeed and I can never do that. yes I am fucking envious of people. no I do not wish them bad things but all I can think about is.. that could've been me if I had tried harder. if I had tried enough. if I forced myself to do it.

and it's taking such a toll on me rn I feel stupid and dumb and lime a failure.

I'm frustrated cuz I can't improve my artstyle either, nor my poses or composition. my art is so repetitive and unoriginal, and uncreative. predictable. forgettable.

boring.

n also, no one fucking interacts with me on twitter and I don't blame them cuz I never post art, not interact with them, and all I ever do is cry and vent like a fucking loser. who wants to read this shit anyways. but what makes it worse is that I'm currently at my peak, I have never had this much followers ever. and I know it doesn't mean worth but I can't seem to change this mindset

which makes me feel like such an imposter... how can I have this many followers when I don't post shit. when my art is shit. when I am a shit person. why are they following me, I don't deserve anything. and now it's even more pressure I want them to be happy I want them to not see how much of a loser I really am.

and I just. I don't know. I could do such great things. I know I have the talent. I know I am smart. but why can't I just be better, use my time more wisely, and improve myself. I am such a waste. that's how I feel most of the time, I'm wasting myself, wasting my time, my parents money. I'm so tired of being stupid and not doing what I have to do just cuz I don't want to do it.

it's a bad bad bad day and week. I guess this is the confirmation that the meds aren't working, or haven't started working yet. I just want to die

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ TWO COFFEES ❜

✨ REQUEST: Oh can I have a Nestor imagine where Miguel ends setting the pair of you up??? 💜♥️💜♥️💜

✨ MADE BY ANON.

Gif credits: to the author.

WORDS: about 1.6k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤ — this work also includes sentences in Spanish, as reader can speak it.

❚❙ NESTOR OCETEVA MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

“Two coffees, please”.

You were with your back to him when you heard his husky voice and a soft latin tone in it. You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow with some kind of confusion at his order. Who comes to a Starbucks just asking for two coffees? Turning at the man with your lips pressed in a funny smile, you took a second to look at him behind the counter.

He is familiar to you. You know him from somewhere.

His black braids were the first thing that caught your attention, before focusing on the red and black shirt under the jacket of his suit. His hands were hidden inside the pockets of his pants, but you noticed his nervousness in the way he had closed them in two fists.

“Normal or decaf? With or without milk? Normal milk? Lactose-free? Soya milk? Almond milk? With sugar, saccharine, or mocca? With or without cream? Do you want it hot or do you want it iced?”

“Normal, no milk, no sweetener, no cream, no ice. Just two coffees”.

You were about to laugh until you heard him talking again. A tone more firm letting you know that he wasn't in the mood for jokes. You could see him gulping a little ashamed when you changed the gesture in your face, but you didn't say anything else. The order was easy and ready in less than one minute. Closing the cups and offering him, you tried to show him another gentle smile but you couldn't. Offering you ten dollars, you waved a hand between the both of you.

“It's on me… Sir”. You told him, an instant before he threw the money inside the tips jar.

Watching him leaving the cafeteria made you feel strangely bad, not knowing exactly why. Sighing as the black car, parked in front of your workplace, disappeared from your field of vision in a jiffy. You hadn't seen that man before, but you wouldn't mind seeing him again. To apologize for being so stupid, of course.

—— NESTOR POV ——

“I fucked up”.

“Yeah, we all have seen the face of that poor girl. I bet you scared her”. Miguel laughed in the back seat of his car, taking a sip from the coffee.

“What the fuck you told him, man?” Vargas stopped the vehicle at a red light, turning at his boss.

“I asked for two coffees, and she started to… give me a lot of options, like milk and sugar and I just got nervous”.

“You? Nervous?” Miguel leaned forward, placing his forearms in both seats, sticking his head out of the gap between both. “The fearless Nestor Oceteva feeling nervous?”

“Fuck off, Mickey! I've been trying to talk with her for a week”.

“Yeah, and you scared her. Did you forget you only had to scare people while you're working?” The other man raised his eyebrows, making his boss laugh behind them.

When the night came and the cafeteria had emptied of customers, you turned off most of the lights inside and locked the main door, to count the cash and write it down in the account book. Playing some soft music on your phone, you took off the green cap and the apron of the same color. It was a long day and all you can think about was in that mystery man with two braids, and who made you feel frustrated for some reason. It wasn't like you wanted to make him smile or to know his name, or maybe get his phone number. Of course not.

Knocks on the crystal door claimed your attention, turning your head towards it and interrupting your task. Gulping nervously finding two suited men with his hands tangled in a big fist, respectively, under their abdomens, you stepped out from behind the counter to lead your feet to their position.

“Are you alone?” One of them asked without any doubt in his words.

Simply nodding, the other man walked to the car parked behind them. Then, you watched Miguel Galindo coming out from it. And now, you were fucked. Of course, you knew the man who came that morning. Licking your lips, freaking out, you unlocked the door to let him walk in.

“Buenas noches”.

“Buenas noches, se—señor Galindo”.

“Are you occupied? May I come in?”

With your heart racing, you gave him enough space to pass you away to the inside.

“I'm sorry if… he tho—thought I was making… fun of him. I didn't me—mean to be disrespectful”.

Your hands were sweating, rubbing one against the other behind your back. Barely breathing. Praying anything you knew.

“Tranquila, it's okay. Do you think I came to… make you something?” His calm attitude gave you shivers. The kind of ones that put your body to tremble. The laugh that echoed all around the empty cafeteria provoked your nausea. “The truth is… you like him. He has been some days trying to encourage himself to ask you out, but my brother is a little dumb”.

Tilting your head with confusion, just like a dog would do, you narrowed your eyes not sure if he was being serious or he was teasing you to have some fun.

“I do—”.

Miguel raised a forefinger to stop you, as soon as his phone rang inside his jacket. Grabbing it from the pocket and reading the name on the screen, he answered the call with the speaker on.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Mickey? Emily just told me you went for two coffees. The fuck you have? Five fucking years old? Leave the waitress in pace!”

Feeling like shit, you bowed down your head because of his words, recognizing the voice at the instant. The man in front of you watched the gesture frowning his brow.

“Nestor, the speaker is on”.

Pi, pi, pi. He had hung up.

“List—”.

“Can you, please, leave? I think you have had enough fun. And you should be ashamed of using your position to do this kind of bullshit to someone humble, who only wants to live her life without being a target to your free time”. Trying to be polite, you pointed at the door with a hand.

“No, no, lis—”.

“If you don't leave right now, sir, I'm calling the cops”. You ruled, taking a step forward with your eyes glued to him, about to cry because of rage. The rage that helped you to lose any fears about confronting the dangerous Miguel Galindo.

In silence, he nodded only one time, turning around to leave the cafeteria. After locking the door, you let the tears fill up your eyes and run down your cheeks. Needing a little break before finishing your work and going home.

A few days have passed since then, not being able to stop thinking about it and why you. Why they decided to play that prank. It wasn't funny. At least, it wasn't funny for you. But you were sure that, later, they commented it and laughed about your gestures. Turning the filter holder of the professional coffee maker, to fit it into the gear, you can't help but look through the reflection on it over your shoulder. Your heart jumps when you find Nestor bent over the counter with both forearms, waiting to be attended to.

“What would you like, sir?” The question comes out from your mouth with a cold tone of voice, not even looking at his eyes, ready to take his order in the TPV.

“Two coffees”. He replies trying to not show any kind of emotion, taking off the sunglasses covering his dark eyes. “One like… just coffee. And another of your choice”.

Filling up the cups with the drink and securing them with the covers, you put them over the counter to grab back the money and give him the change. Holding one with his right hand, the man offers you the other with his left.

“Do you have a moment?”

“No”.

“Por favor”.

“I said no”.

“I'm going to stay here, till you say yes”. The smile curving his mouth, showing you two perfect rows of teeth, convinces you somehow.

Rolling your eyes and tapping your co-worker's shoulder, you make him a gesture to cover you to take a short break. Nestor follows you then to the back alley, not saying a word but trying to prepare a monologue to apologize. Stopping your track and facing him, having a sip from your coffee, you wave your hand waiting for something.

“I told him to not do it”.

“So… was it a bet, or what? Were you bored and thought that could be fun making me feel stupid and ashamed?”

“None of that”. His jaw tensing calls your attention, bowing his eyes to the drink between his hands. “I really wanted to ask you out, but I wasn't sure if you were going to accept. I was nervous and… Miguel thought that he could help me”.

“He didn't”.

“I know”.

“And you, shouting through the phone, either”.

“Yeah, lo siento por eso”. Looking at your eyes again, with regret, he keeps his free hand in a pocket. “If you don't want to hang out with me, it's okay. I came to apologize for what happened”.

“Thank you”. You just whisper.

He tilts his head, pressing his lips and forcing a smile. Nestor waits one second, hoping that you add something else like you would like to have a date, but you don't talk again. Giving up, he nods turning around disappointed, walking out of the alley.

But actually, you're just making him suffer a little. It's called payback.

“I'm free tomorrow night”.

With a brow raised, the man turns around, facing you some steps away.

“We can meet at Jin's chinese restaurant. At seven”.

His smile appears again, infecting you with the same gesture.

“I'll be there at six”.

“Why?” You chuckle, not understanding him.

“To not make you wait”.

“Todo un caballero…”

[kuronanox]

Something there - Renji Abarai

"It hurts right? You like her but she likes someone else." (Your Name) says as her and Renji walk behind Ichigo and Rukia as the two argued about something stupid they saw.

"No no!" He fluster back as she smirks and walks ahead of him.

Renji looks down when they walked ahead and sadly smile. She was right though. He always had a crush on Rukia but he knew her love was somewhere else out of his reach.

"I hate that your always right."

Even after years of being friends with Renji he never looked at her the way he did with Rukia. She was beautiful and enchanting, something she was not.

Sighing she laid on her barrack floor thinking about all the good memories they shared together. Renji was a goofy tsundere, a hopeless man.

She long for his touch and comfort but they were nothing but friends.

A soft knock came from outside as she covered her robe more and opened it slowly to see a familiar red head.

"What's up?" She says as he walks in with a bottle of sake and sit on the ground roughly.

"What's going on? You depressed again?!"

Renji shakes his head and pours her a shot and grins. "A little bird told me you had a rough day and was crying." He tells her as she rolls her eyes. "Hinamori!"

She sits across him in silence eyeing him and then takes the shot slamming it down on the table.

His eyes widen a bit as he chuckles and brings both hands up. "Woah woah someone did have a rough day."

"Oh hush don't act like you don't!" She bite back and looks away pouring a bit. "You know I'm an raging alcoholic aside from Kira."

Renji looks back at all the times he's drank with Kira and he sweats a bit understanding the dude did get drunk all the time when they go out.

"So what happen? I can be a listening ear."

"Nothing much just a few petty argument with some squad members and contemplating my life's decision."

Renji nodds his head and pours her another shot as she drank most the bottle ranting about her problems and how she needed a break from everything.

"Do you think it's best to cut off people in your life?" She then ask him with tiny eyes and a pink face. The alcohol kicking in as she was half drunk and half tipsy not thinking straight.

"Well last time I tried to we came back together." He laughs thinking back about Rukia's execution.

"She's beautiful and strong, she's independent and cute. I wish I could be her." (Your Name) sighs laying on the floor looking up on the ceiling feeling a bit sorry for herself.

"Ahh don't say that! You have your strong features too!" Renji defends as she laughs bitterly.

"She has everything...even him."

There was silence before Renji plopped up with widen eyes.

"You like Ichigo?! Oh god! Why him out of all people! Jesus (Your Name) I thought you had taste!"

Renji took 2 shots to that and shakes his head.

"Not him stupid." She says and leans on her elbow yawning as he blushes a bit.

"Kuchiki taicho! Hey hey I know he's a good looking man but that's her brother."

(Your Name) groans out loud and rolls her eyes. "Why is he so stupid?"

"Anyways! Your wrong."

There was a long silence between the two before he covers his face and blushes a bit falling onto the floor. "Me?!"

"Bingo! But hey this doesn't change our friendship. Don't think I'm sad about it. Even though I am." She closes her eyes letting the world spin around her.

"I'm so sorry I didn't know you felt that way. I wouldn't have made you feel this way." He apologizes ashamed he told her about his love life and how miserable he was.

"I mean it's cool, we are both struggling at something right." She shrugs and pours the sake bottle that happen to be empty now and she grits her teeth slapping it on the side.

"(Your Name) why didn't you tell me!"

"Because would that change anything? Would that change your heart to open up to me? To love me? No!" She yelled at Renji as her body trembled a bit looming over him with hurt eyes.

She places her hands on her hips after because it was silent in the room now. "It's getting late. Maybe you should go home now."

"Wait let me-"

"Just leave for now I'm not sober. I don't wanna say or do something I will regret."

Renji cleans the mess they made before leaving her barracks. "Good night (Your Name)."

She avoided all contact with Renji the past week and stayed away from the 6th squad as much as possible. "I can't believe I confessed to him! Ugh how stupid can I be!"

Kicking the floor she looked up to see Byakuya standing infront of her. "Kuchiki taicho!" She stampers as he nods his head.

"My lieutenant has been feeling down lately, please fix him it's affecting his work ethic."

She looks down embarrassed that the noble man could see that she had feelings for his lieutenant the whole time. "I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about."

Byakuya doesn't say one word and walks past her as she gasp for air afraid of the nobles man presence.

Renji lays on the grass looking up to the sky, he truly felt bad for (Your Name) he always thought they were best friends and she was only being nice and felt sorry for him.

Renji knew she was an attractive women and he had only laid eyes on one women in his life. He was very closed minded but he knew he had options but never did he think it was one he would actually see a future with.

Yes he loved Rukia but he knew the longer he kept his heart there he would never feel happy and satisfied. She had her love for someone else.

Renji knew it was time to move on but he didn't want (Your Name) to feel like an second option.

"Ugh!" He yells frustrated with himself.

"Renji?"

He looks up to see (Your Name) her hair was flowing in the wind as she gave him a small smile.

"(Your Name)!" He says and sits up as she took her place besides him.

"You've been feeling down?"

"Not really."

She raised a brow and he looks away flustered that she knew his feelings from the start.

"That's not what I heard from Kuchiki Taicho."

"Oh great he basically snitched on me."

(Your Name) pokes his cheek and laughs a bit before turning away and getting up. "Whenever you're ready to answer me I'll be waiting."

Renji looks up and grabs her hand before she could leave. "I have my answer. I do like you a lot but please forgive me if it seems like you are an second options because you aren't. I just didn't think you would be into me like this."

Slapping his head he stands up and hunches over her. "Why did you hit me?!"

"Because can't you see nothing is wrong with you! Anyone would be dumb not to like you!" She argues back as he chuckles and brings her into a hug.

"I don't think I deserve you."

"You don't but I like you so you're lucky!"

Renji grins slowly letting go of the past and moving on with the future. It was always easy with (Your Name) she was sassy but also kind and easy going.

"You're going to be the death of me."

She smirks and brings him into a head lock walking out of the fields. "Where are we going?!"

"To drink and celebrate our success to a future of happiness!"

Renji smiles and unlocks himself holding his hand with hers before letting her take the lead.

"Let's celebrate then!" He cheers.

(Author note: short story, nothing serious! Who should I write next?)

[catzula]

Don’t be late.

Warnings: Cursing, 4.5 k words, fluff in general, Bakugou being a dumbass, reader is always late.

a/n: I genuinely had fun writing this fic and I hope you guys have fun reading it!

Synopsis: you're a student at the support section and since Bakugou literally drove everyone else insane, you were the last person that would help him with his costume. Little did he know that you had a crush on this sparky sparky boom man.

Everybody in the support section just hated that one guy. That guy named Bakugou who would practically harass people until he got what he wanted. Well, okay, almost everyone who knew Bakugou hated him but people in the support section hated him in a whole new level.

He was a nightmare. Nobody could even stand him.

Well, nobody except for you. You thought of him as intriguing, as well as a pain in the ass. But even him being a pain in the ass could be justified in your eyes, you knew he was doing all this simply because he was a perfectionist. Of course he could tone it down a bit, but... That would.be very out of character, wouldn't it?

He thought of himself as the best and it shouldn't be a surprise, for him to want to have a hero costume that was also perfect. You could understand that, but it still didn't change the fact that he was the worst kind of customer anyone would ever have to work with.

He had never worked with you though, he was in class 1/A for gods sake, of course he didn't work with you... Well, that until he ran out of people that would help him willingly.

"You know what? I'm done. Go fuck yourself." Were the words that echoed in the room, suppressing even those deafening machine sounds. Your friend threw Bakugou's costume in his face harshly, still cursing under his breath.

"Tch, whatever! You're just some extra that can't even do what I asked for." You watched Bakugou as his upper lip curled threateningly, reminding you of a wolf, and boy did he look pissed. Like, really pissed. His crimson eyes glaring at the guy in front of him, who was packing his supplies and trying to get away from this angry dude as soon as possible.

"That's the thing, Bakugou! What you want doesn't exist! I don't have these miraculous powers that when I snap my fingers your costume just turns into something else. You have to give me details of what you're asking and you have to ask something that makes sense! Not just some dumb idea that popped into your mind!" Everybody knew that was a lie. Bakugou always had the most amazing ideas, so creative and so... Logical. It's just that they were too... Much. To much to execute, they were brilliant but not doable.

"First of all, it does make sense, it's you who can't understand! Second of-"

"Whatever, Bakugou. I'm done with this shit. Go find someone else to help you with your costume."

"Who the fuck are you to not let me fucking talk? I will fucking kill you-"

"That's enough Bakugou." A monotone voice that came from the door made Bakugou freeze. You knew this black haired guy, he was the Eraserhead! You saw him around the campus but never from up this close!

Bakugou looked at his teacher, never losing that wolfish expression on his face, and he exited the room without saying anything, which was a first for everyone in this room. Eraserhead also exited, looking like he was about to go in a coma.

The room was still silent, until it wasn't.

"Oh my God, what a fucking jerk."

"I can't even believe how you managed to put up with him that long."

"He's not even that good."

Lie. That was a big fat lie because Bakugou may not be a lot of things but he was that good. Still, you chose to stay silent, your eyes still glued to the door he just exited from.

He amazed you, really. You noticed him the first time he came to the support section, his aura screaming confidence. He started to come there frequently, making everyone else go crazy, but you just kept noticing small details about him every time he came there. He was an asshole, no one could deny that, but he was also amazing.

It was amazing how determined he was, even though it was a pain, his perfectionism also left you in awe, how smart he was, how confident he was, how strong he was...

You realized your big crush on him the day you saw him on that sport festival. The other people thought it was so unheroic of him to go that hard on Uraraka, which was so stupid. Didn't she also want to be a hero? Wasn't she going to the same school as him, going through the same trainings? It was only normal for him to beat her, because if he didn't, she would have beaten him. Would people tell her it was so rude of her to go that hard on him too? No, you thought he was astonishing to act the way he did.

Him being so proud, not accepting the first rank made your heart beat faster. He was just so strong, so proud, so vulnerable it made you want to hug him tightly and tell him that he was your hero.

Not that you would ever have the chance though, or so you thought.

He came back not even after a few days, making everyone groan in frustration. He went straight to the table that displayed the recent projects that were done. The table existed to give an idea of what anyone could do so they could choose along shit what they had in mind. So that meant, who's item he chose would have to work with him. All of you eyed him, waiting to see who was the very unlucky person.

He picked one invention of the table, looking somewhat intrigued, and looked around the room trying to guess who it belonged to. When he couldn't guess he went to the nearest person and shoved the invention in their face. "Who does this belong to?!"

The person he was holding eyed the object he was holding suspiciously, relief written on his face when he saw it didn't belong to him. "I think that's Y/N's."

You could hear the sighs of relief around the room. So did he, but he didn't seem to care. Instead he walked towards you, he was so close you could smell-

Why on earth did he smell like... Caramel?!

"Is this yours?" You felt the tingling sensation of excitement all over your body, giving you goosebumps. "It is." You answered, which made him narrow his eyes, looking at you suspiciously.

"Is it really yours? You did this?" Now that was straight up rude. "Yes, it's really mine, asshole. What kind of a question even is that?!"

He shrugged shit a smug grin on his face. His eyes wandered over you, looking at your (e/c) eyes, your face, your figure, and his grin grew wider.

"I haven't seen you around here before." Ah, the angry boy was back. His upper lip curled ever so slightly, looking at you like you were some lowly human. "Oh yeah? Well I have seen you quite a lot here. You know, while you were making everyone else go crazy."

Your answer turned his face red with anger but -a miracle- he was holding back! You could see it was really hard for him not to scream insults in your face but he was aware that you were his last chance. Oh didn't that just boost your ego. Now it was your turn to look at him with a smug grin on your face.

"Whatever." He mumbled pulling you to the nearest table. "What are you-" Before he even let you finish he shushed you and lay down the papers he was holding on the table. You looked at what's on the paper, it was a costume drawing, a really detailed one at that. As you got closer to the paper, inspecting it, he was watching your every move with narrowed eyes.

After you memorised everything on the paper you bir your lip, trying to hide your admiration. "Did you draw this? Are these all... Your ideas?"

The drawing wasn't amazing but it was neat, everything was calculated to the very core, the ideas were so clear on the paper, making you feel like you only had to follow these instructions and do nothing else. "Yes, of course I drew them! Everything you see there is mine." He said angrily but you could see he wasn't actually angry, just proud.

"Well, they're pretty good, if I'm going to be honest." You said trying to hide your excitement. You traced the drawing with your finger.

"I know they are. But can you do it?" His smug grin was back and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at him. Could you do it?

You smiled sweetly and surely enough he smiled back, already knowing your answer.

"Nope."

His smile dropped, leaving it's place to a furious look in his eyes. "You dumbass, then why the fuck are you wasting my fucking time?!" He screamed, people around you shot you a knowing look. He pulled the paper of the table harshly, about to leave when you held his wrist and made him stop.

"Can you stop for a fucking minute and listen?" His eyes widened when he heard you cursing, a big contrast to your sweet tone and face. "I can't do this, but neither can anyone else."

"What the fuck does that mean?" He screamed making you winch. "Can you just- shut up for a second? This is not possible, get that in your bigass head. But-" you stopped thinking for a second. You shuffled around the drawers in search of a pen. "But, I can do this instead. This would be much more possible, and it would give you what you were aiming for. Of course it wouldn't be the same but the end product will be helpful."

You said quickly sketching your idea on the paper, as quick as possible before you forget what you were thinking about.

When he saw what you drew his burrows furrowed and for a second you thought he was mad at you but instead he huffed. "Tch, not bad I guess." He said, but internally he was so impressed that you actually came up with this alternative in a few seconds of so.

"Wait, does that mean you'll work with me?" You said eyes open wide. Well the question was more as, would you work with him, but he didn't say that. "If you can do it, I will."

"That's amazing, now I finally have a worthy client!" You said excitedly and on of his burrows went up, sending you an questioning look. "Worthy of... You?"

You shot him a killing glare but stayed quiet. "Let's work on this idea a little more, what do you say?"

He shrugged. "It's too noisy in here. Lets go to the library." He said ready to pull you out of the room but you shot a glance at your phone, pouting. "Can't, I gotta finish this side project today. Meet me at the library tomorrow? How is 4pm?"

He wasn't really happy since you couldn't work on it immediately but he had to be a little nice to you, not just because you were the last person that would actually help him, but your idea was also pretty good. "Tch, whatever. Don't be late."

You smiled sweetly, making his heart beat a little faster. Why did his heart beat this fast? Was this your quirk or something?

"Bye Bakugou." You waved as you started to sketch something on a sheet of paper.

***

Bakugou was sitting in the library, shooting angry glances at the clock. When he saw you coming towards him with a big smile on your face, your hands full of papers, books and stuff, he felt his heart jump. This had to be your quirk.

"Hey! So I worked on this idea we talked about yesterday and-" Before you even sat next to him you started to talk without even stopping to breath. "You're late." He murmured with and angry look in his eyes, you looked at your watch and smiled apologetically. "Oops, sorry, I was with Shinsou about- well that's not important is it? It's 5 minutes anyway."

Bakugou had always been an angry individual but today he could practically feel his explosions itching for him to release them. You saw the look in his eyes and laughed, "Hey, chill out. I'm sorry, alright? I'll make it up to you with a coffee, how does that sound?"

Bakugou didn't even like coffee but he couldn't refuse this offer either. "If you get there in time."

You laughed once again, a sweet sound that made Bakugou feel proud, even though he didn't even know why he was proud. "Yes, yes, I'll be there on time. But let's discuss this now." You lay the papers down, showing a few new sketches.

You both worked on it for a long time, even though it felt like a few minutes at most. You sometimes felt his gaze on you, instead of the paper in front of you, which made your cheeks flush red.

"So um-" you said, not really sure what to even say. "This was nice."

He had never heard anyone from the support section say that working with him was nice, but he still took the compliment. "Meet me at the coffee place tomorrow? Since it's weekend we can meet a little earlier too."

His eyes narrowed as he looked at you. It was weird having someone who actually wanted to work with him and it felt odd. A good type of odd, if he had to confess.

"Don't be late." He said.

You laughed. "I won't."

***

You were late.

Bakugou was about to go crazy waiting at the coffee shop. He felt so stupid for waiting for you but felt even worse for not being able to leave. His mind kept making you excuses, every time the door opened he felt his heart jump and that made him so angry at himself.

He was about to leave when the door opened once again, this time it was actually you entering. His eyes widened when he saw you, you looked incredibly pretty without any dust smeared on your face, your (h/c) hair in a cute style that enhanced your beautiful face and was that... Make up? He wasn't sure, hell, he never even realized any of these things before. But he couldn't take his eyes off of you and felt his anger die inside him.

You saw him and your eyes shined in a way that made him want to smile too, a cute smile was on your face when you came to his table.

"You're late!"

"That can't be I'm actually-" you checked the time and pouted. "Oh, I'm late."

His eyebrows furrowed, so he wasn't even important enough for you to actually show up on time? He was about to say something mean but held his tongue when you giggled. "I actually left the dorm an hour early to be here before you..." You shrugged. "Apparently I'm incapable of actually arriving anywhere at the time we agreed on. I hear this all the time, I just can't get anywhere on time!"

He felt a little better knowing it wasn't only him, but still. He was Bakugou Katsuki for Gods sake! He wasn't just someone, he was the future number one hero. Still, he couldn't help but feel good knowing you intended to be here early.

"Whatever." He said not looking at you. "No, I'm actually sorry!" You said biting your lip.

"It's whatever. Let's just get some coffee and get this shit done with." You felt a sharp pain in your chest, he wasn't wrong, but it felt bad hearing that from your crush. You should have known he wasn't actually interested in you, he wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't his last chance.

You still didn't let that spoil your mood, at the very end you were here, drinking coffee with him, weren't you?

"Well, what would you like to drink?" You asked, taking your wallet out of your handbag. His eyes shined with anger when he saw what you were doing.

"Like hell I'll let you pay for it!" He said, stopping you.

"But this is for making you wait yesterday!" Feeling his hand holding you made your heart jump. "And well... Today too." You added.

"I don't care, I said I won't let you pay, and I won't."

"But-"

"Stop arguing for fucks sake!" You closed your mouth at that. "O-okay. Well I'll have (your favorite beverage)." You saw him smile at your answer and stood up.

You were trying to calm yourself while he was buying you coffee, didn't even realize someone was calling your name. "Y/N!"

A hand touched your shoulder, making you jump in surprise. It was a certain indigo haired boy who looked very much sleep deprived. "Oh, Shinsou!" You smiled sweetly. You have helped him a lot before, which ended with you guys being close friends.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, even though it was a stupid question, he was addicted to coffee. "Well, duh." He said, shaking the carton of coffee on his hand. You smiled at that. "But what are you doing here?" He looked around to see anyone familiar that you could be waiting for. He saw Bakugou ordering coffee, but it was such an impossible thing for both of you to be together so he didn't even think about it.

"Well I uh..." You didn't even have time to answer when an angry boy came close to your table. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Shinsou's eyes widened ever so slightly looking at the angry boy, and then back at you. "You're here with him?"

"You got a problem with that?" Bakugou asked, taking his seat right across you.

"Well, we're working on his costume." You said sensing the tension.

Bakugou scoffed, apparently not happy with your answer. "Well, okay. I'll see you around?" Said Shinsou, you could understand why he was walking away, since his motto was stay out of drama. "Yeah, sure!" You smiled sweetly, feeling a little bad because you felt like you were dusting him away.

"Are we gonna start working or not?!" You flinched when you heard him scream, a sinking feeling reminding you once again, he wanted nothing to do with you other than working on his costume.

"Sorry." You mumbled. "So I um, worked on this a little more after you left and I think it would be much better if we changed this to this. Because otherwise it would be too heavy."

Bakugou scoffed. "Hah, I can handle heavy." You glanced at him, surprised by his unnecessary narcissism. "Yeah, I know. But still, wouldn't it be better if it were lighter?" He stayed still for a while then shrugged.

"Tch, whatever." Oh, you were starting to see a pattern here. Maybe it wasn't just unnecessary narcissism, but more like... Trying to impress you?

"Are you training today too?" You asked, just testing the waters. "Of course I am! If I'm going to be the number 1 hero, I gotta train every fucking day."

You tapped your chin with your finger. "That's true. Although I've seen you train before and it looked pretty intense." And that was true. He was training so hard it made you shudder just thinking about it.

"Oh, you were watching me?" Oh, shit. You tried to ignore the heat rushing to your cheeks. "Well I wasn't watching you specifically, but it was so... Extra so I may have looked your way once or twice." You tried to cover. But the smug grin on his face told you he didn't believe it a bit.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say."

"So, what do you think? Should I change this part? Oh and I thought it would be better if we did this too-" You stopped talking when you felt his eyes lingering on you, instead of the paper. "Bakugou?" You said smiling. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm not staring at you!" He shouted, your smile dropping almost instantly. "Why the fuck would I even stare at you?!" His hands were tight fists on the table, his red eyes reminding you of flames. Your eyes widened at his response and you forced a laugh.

"Well, ouch." You said with the same forceful laugh. "I- I wasn't implying anything, you know..." You mumbled.

"I- I..." This was the first time you have seen Bakugou in a loss of words. You shrugged. "Yeah, I know, you want to get this over with as soon as possible."

That was far from what he wanted to say but he accepted it nonetheless.

You both worked on it for hours, once again the time passed quickly, felt like it was a blink of an eye. "That was intense." You said while stretching a bit.

"Well, that was it. We finished the whole design and idea process and I'll take it from here."

His brows furrowed. "What do you mean by I'll take it from here?"

You shrugged. "I just have to actually do this now, so we don't really have to meet like this." Why did Bakugou feel that sting in his chest? For Gods sake, what the fuck was your quirk?

"Y/N." He said that made you stop stretching. Hearing your name from him made your heart beat faster. "What the hell is your quirk?"

"My quirk?" You asked, a little surprised at the sudden question.

"Yes!"

"Well it's not a big quirk. I can manipulate shadows." You shrugged. Your quirk had never came off as handy but it was fun to change the shapes of people's shadows and seeing their reactions.

Bakugou desperately tried to find a relation with your quirk and this weird sensation he felt every time you smiled but he couldn't find any.

"That's a dumb quirk." He said instead. You giggled, surprising him. "It is, but I don't really need a quirk to be special, I can work without it just fine."

His brow quirked up at your response. "If you say so."

***

Everyday for the next week, Bakugou had visited you in your workspace. "I want to see if you're doing a good fucking job." He said when you asked him why.

He stayed with you as long as he could, telling you about his day, about those damn extras in his class, with the exception of "Deku." He was talking about Deku like he wasn't even a part of the class. You knew he was talking about Izuku Midoriya, that green haired shy guy who broke a limb every time he used his quirk. Oh, Bakugou talked about him a lot, with great hatred too.

But even though he was just rambling, you loved to listen to him. And even though he never even implied it, you knew he liked watching you work too. It was probably because he was interested in how his costume was coming up but you still enjoyed it very much.

But the truth was that he had almost completely forgotten about his costume. He was coming to see you every day, every chance because you... You just understood him. But Bakugou was so foreign to these feelings, it made him feel scared and vulnerable.

You weren't aware of any of this, of the internal crisis he was having, so you were surprised when he suddenly stopped showing up.

You couldn't really work too, since your eyes were practically glued to the door, waiting to see a glimpse of the spiky blonde hair, but you never did.

The day you were done with the costume, you texted him. You tried to look as good as you could, cleaned the dust off of your face and your uniform, wore your best perfume only to see someone else who came instead of him to pick the costume up.

It was Kirishima, you had chatted with him before, he was a pretty cute guy, and you knew from your daily chats from Bakugou he liked him too. So just seeing him reminded you of Bakugou which made your mood even worse.

"Is... Is Bakugou okay?" You asked.

You saw the uncomfortable look on his face and you knew Bakugou was avoiding you. "He- he- he is okay... He's just-" You sighed but smiled nonetheless. "It's okay, I understand." His eyes widened. "You do?!"

You shrugged. "He's done with me, I see that. I had the same treatment from some other students too, although it's not very nice, is it? Still, say hi to him for me please."

"It's- it's not like that, he's just-" Kirishima looked a little embarrassed but mostly panicked and you couldn't help but giggle. "It's okay, I'm just happy I could help him."

When Kirishima went back to the dorms, only to find Bakugou on the couch looking at his phone, he was pissed.

"Dude you must be the dumbest person alive."

"Who the fuck are you calling dumb, shitty hair?!" Bakugou jumped from the couch, about to end Kirishima once and for all but Kirishima wasn't having it. "You! I'm calling you dumb! I took your costume from YN, the girl you have been avoiding like the plague, and I was embarrassed for you!"

Kirishima saw Bakugou stiffening as he mentioned your name and smiled knowingly. "Bakugou, if you don't go there and talk to her I will kick your ass."

"You can't kick my ass, idiot." Bakugou answered gruffly.

"Oh but I can. Go fucking talk to her dude! She asked about you, you know? What you're doing is so fucking unmanly." Kirishima gave Bakugou the costume he was holding and Bakugou could swear he could smell your scent on it.

"You call me unmanly one more fucking time and you won't have a tongue to call anyone unmanly. I am the definition of manly."

"Not with that attitude you're not."

"Who the fuck are you, my mother or something?" But Bakugou knew Kirishima was telling the truth, and he just couldn't get rid of this stupid feeling in his chest. Yet, he had thought that if he just stopped seeing you, he would never feel this way ever again. He was wrong. Oh, he had thought of you almost every second of the day, his heart feeling heavier with every second he didn't see you and it was more than he could bear.

He knew what he had to do, he just didn't have the courage before.

"I think- I have to go." He said practically running to the door. He passed the now entering Kaminari with such force and speed, Kaminari almost lost his balance. "Woah, where the fuck is he going?" He asked looking at the grinning Kirishima.

"You'll see." Was his answer.

***

You were about to leave the workshop, later than usual but you didn't really mind working a little longer, anything that would take your kind off of him, you accepted gratefully.

All of that until you heard his voice.

"YN!"

You jumped not expecting this at all. Your eyes widened when you saw the face you had longed to see for almost a week, and there he was, cheeks flushed like he had ran all the way here.

And you knew why he was here. You weren't stupid, the look in his eyes just gave it away. So a smile found its way on your lips, the sweetest smile he had ever seen that made him feel like he could die right than and there.

"Bakugou!" You said, walking towards him. "You're late."

[little-precious-baby]

This 2020...

First of all, I know most of the people did this many days ago but I thought today was like the best for me to say goodbye to this year.

Not to mention that this year has been very difficult, not only for me but for everyone. A pandemic that brought us many changes of which many are not yet comfortable and is understandable. In my case, in this year I have been able to understand many things, I have suffered and had to face other problems, and of course, I enjoyed important moments with my friends and family. My first decision this year I remember was cutting off my bangs without my parents' permission. I was scolded for weeks, even months and yes, I accept that seeing that picture from the first day of the school year is going to haunt me for a long time but I don't regret what I did. Is not a secret that for many of my irl friends, I'm like a little child that needs attention because if you give me your back, probably I'll be cutting my hair or even doing something worse.

As for emotional and friendship issues... I have to admit that I broke friendships in a non-gentle way, there were also discussions over totally stupid topics and not to mention love issues that simply ended up being a failure—a waste of time, to be honest.

While it hasn't been such an easy year, there's something I still don't even regret doing: coming here to Tumblr. My previous account has many years to created here —probably in 2017— however, at that time I didn't try to search much as I got to do this year and I'm glad I did because I met great people. Sadly I doubt at some point to meet you in person, but I hope you keep in mind that you make my days happier with your comments or just being you. I hope our friendship continues and that you all don't get sick of me so easily. Also, I wish you all the best as I know each of you is talented and has the ability to succeed in your lives. <3

Uh, the paragraphs 👉🏼👈🏼

Also I want you to know that this isn't in an specific order and that I hope you don't feel bad with my words.

💙 - @latte-fairytaekwoon

How can I start this without you rejecting my love? <3 You were one of the first people I decided to approach. I remember reading one or two of your works and just thinking "Wow, she writes very well... I'm going to follow her; it's going to be fun and interesting." I was planning not to talk to you at the beginning, to be honest. My end in mind was just to read what you updated and since you were the third account with content I had decided to follow, I thought it was a good plan. But one thing led to another and I decided to talk to you —which you probably regret since I bother you a lot lmao— and yeah, that's how we met and still talk to each other. I also need to mention that whenever I tried to talk to you about my problems or things that overwhelmed me, you always knew what to say to me even if that included to scold me. You always made me come to my senses. Many times I mentioned to you that you were like a mother to me as you "gave me those vibes" but how can you not? While you don't usually show so much affection through direct words of "I love you" "I care you," I feel them when you advise me. It's going to sound too idk, but I really don't regret to met you, Kitty. This looks like a bible and words repeating over and over again but how to show you that I appreciate, admire and love you if I always try to let you know? At this point if you still think I don't care of you, you are dumb 💖 By the way, it's worth mentioning that you and I have a long path together and you'll continue to be attacked with my love, support and jokes. I love you, mom 😗💙

💖 @winterviolet1

To be honest, I feel bad for not remembering how we started talking... I don't remember if I followed you first or if it was the other way around but hey, let's look on the bright side, it was fun to have met you and come together to always annoy Sofie with Hongjoong gifs <3 I hope we can still be little demons together and please, PLEASE, stop killing me 💀 I love when you send me gifs of Jongho because wow, that boy is definitely a daddy and more when he dances —I refuse to deviate from the subject but he jdudbd— but yeah, he kills me even when he just smiles. My point is that when I see those gifs, I went into a state where my mind goes to places that is better not to mention and I blush because yeah, we talk about my bias isbdkddj and I also frustrate because I find myself unable to return the same treatment to you dkdnskd. Ps: Let me know when we'll be demons again <3

💖 @teeztheflag

Your reactions are idejdindd art I feel shy as I know I never got to create a bond big enough to make you call my friend or that you consider me your friend but hey, it was great to talk to you. <3

Atte: the Slyffindor Girl 💀

💖 @twancingyunhoe

ALLYSSA 🥺 Okay, okay, just mention your name and I'll get in cute mode. I remember following you, yet I hadn't dared talk to you much. The safest thing I'd ever said to you was "Hello! I walk by giving love and support!" for days later asking if you were going to adopt me to have adopted Gabby as my sister 🥺 You're a beautiful person who has such a big, beautiful heart that makes me soft. I know I haven't exchanged many words with you this past month, but I hope that's not going to affect the fact that you're important to me. Thank you for accepting me, giving me love and always being so pretty. <3 kith kith

💖 @tinkerbellwoo

You are such a gift to me diejsndis. Since the first time I knew you, you were very kind and lovely to me. You won a part of my heart with your kindness and yeah, I do remember going to your asks and just "Hey, here is a bunch of love from me to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also I hope we can be friends" kejebskssi. That was like my way to ask to be one of your closer moots because you were just so cool and I wanted to be friends with the wonderful person I saw had interactions with some of my moots. I'm sorry because I have time without actually having a large conversation with you and is completely my fault... I hope this new year will change that and I can talk more to you 🥺💖

💖 @yungidreamer

My older sister :( I'm so happy I had the opportunity to talk to you 👉🏼👈🏼 I still don't forget that you once used the dissapointed card with meeee, your little cute princess angel baby sister. I have cero regrets welcome you into my big, not normal, Tumblr family because yeah, probable we aren't the same but at the same time we are the same, if you know what I mean 👀 I hope we can have more conversations between each other because I know is very interesting to talk to you but at the same time I'm so shy :(

💖 @yunderland / @shangri-woo

How can I began this? Ksbsdusbs First, I need ti be honest. I do have my thirst times and well, I read many of your works in ghost mode 👉🏼👈🏼 I was kinda shy to just idk, interact kdidbdkd. Also I began to see you interact with Amelie and was funny and I began to think "What happens if I do try to be friends with her?" but also "What if she doesn't like how I am? I ccan be a bother some times...". And yeah, I was thinking that for maybe two days until I decided to make a move. I followed you and I said "Hi 👉🏼👈🏼 I saw you talking with Amelie... You seem like a kind and lovely person, mind if I try being friends with you?" skdbsudbdks. I. Will. Not. Regret. Talking. To. You. You are such a good person :( Every time we talk, you are just so attentive that makes me soft. Please, keeo being my friend :( even if you don't consider me as your friend :(

💖 @ursaurora

Well, I don't have that much to say because I just said hi while being in hiatus but hey, I really really like the idea of being friends with you. This doesn't stopped me to wish you a good New Year and hey, why not hoping to have a good relationship between each other? <3

💖 @illicit-roses

Rosa xkenskd you sidjdndid are isbddkdj a ksudkdid baby. Such a beautiful, sweet, kind and big hearted baby. I was also the first one to talk to you and I was the one that began being surprised by your words isbwkdz. Not to mention that I also got shy and touched by your words. In this year, I would love to be more close to youuuuuu <3

💖 @inkigayeo / @woo-san

Vivi, I don't know if you will read this so probably if you do, is because I told you in private kxjsksdnsk. I don't feel like remembering you how I began talking to you because you asked and I already told you that but something I for sure need you to know is that... I'm still very touched by your encouraging words to me. I think our first first conversation was about me being depressed and how I was feeling toward myself, then about my admission test that hey, you did amazing with your words. I remember I cried because yeah, I was anxious but you told me a great advice. And when I didn't do well on that an also began saying sorry to you for not doing well, you gave me anither good words that hey... How not be in love with Vivi? Vivi is just a Queen with a big heart and kindness to give to everyone :(( <3

💖 @atinyedits / @atinywrites

My lovely and beautiful Anrose kdbdkzkzd I remember I began to talk to you after I saw a post of Cottons talking about how you were such a fk rat brat and my first thought was "Hey, I want to be her friend" lol. And guess what? That's what I did isbszlxudbzk I went to your asks and I asked you if you wanted to be my friend and you accepted. We began talking and I began having this love to you idbesldjdbs. But something I do need to make clear is that I didn't thought you will be part of my Tumblr family as my mom kdjdsldudhs I still remember reblogging with an "you are married with Allyssa?! She is my mooooom" and yeah, you were welcome to a natural habit of a family who is thirsty 24/7 for Ateez or each other and yeah, such a triangle live attraction and the foughts you still have with my other mom kdisjsnd. But I hope you feel the love I have for you. Because I do love you and I trust you enough. Don't you remember how I send you photos of my body? I do feel insecure about it and still regret to be being called a Queen but yeah, I trust and love you enough, my Anrose <3

💖 @atiny-ahgase

Gabby, my sweetest sister 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I began this? Well... Not to mention that I usually read your interactions with Zad and as I wasn't someone you knew, I was scared to talk to both of you. You because I was mostly shy and for Zad because I thought he was intimidating, funny, right? Well, I'm not sure if I do told you about giving you tons of love and support directly but I do remember adopting Zad as my brother and he telling me he had a sister and my first thought was "Hey, why I can't have a big sister too?" and then I began talking to you and with what I was welcomed? By tons of love and cute gifs of kisses and hugs. You make me feel lovved, Gabby. You are such an angel 🥺 Please, don't stop loving your baby sister Mei <3

💖 @shinyddeonghwa

Omg, omg, omg. I feel bad because I don't even know how I began talking to you T^T I feel bad to admit that I get confused between you and Treasure and ksbsizbdsis I think it was with you that I talked in Portuguese jzusnsks and if not, I'm sorry for the miss understanding ksisjs T^T but something I for sure remember if you trying to dom me and then getting flustered when that didn't worked and it was my time then isnwishsslsns I also need to mention that is always cute everything you do dkdbskzusks even how you talk to me <3 I hope our friendship can last for more time <3

💖 @sansbun & @choisans-dimples

Bun and Cass, the brat in denial 👀😗, the sweetest babies I have met. Two lovely babies that love cats and San. I think my first interaction with the both of you was because of the Tumblr family. Bun, I'm sorry for not talking too much to you. You are such a kind person and I would like to be closer to you in this new year. And for Cass, we talked more in discord but still wasn't that much :( But it was actually funny to see you fighting with Mari, it was cute nsisnslds. I hope both of you know that your auntie loves you so much <3

💖 @galaxteez

ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH <3

Our first conversation was something thirsty, I'm 100% sure about that. And how to forget how I always forgot to turn on to be anon siwnsibddk8dn. But I'm still sure you loved to see my asks while me being anon than when it was actually me because mine was just cute, giving tons of love to you when my anon... Well... My anon 😗 I know I have time without having thisty talks with you so maybe this new year will mark the difference 👀 <3

💖 @ateezstanlove

Ndyensiddhsihssjwj here is when my mind is having problems to remember how I actually met everyone and that's making me feel bad skdbwksjzns but something I can be 100% is that I tried really hard every day to make you feel all the love I can give. I still remember when I saw you were on hiatus and thinking about leaving Tumblr. Being honest, I was really sad but hey, you are here now to receive all my love and have those lustful thoughts about Wooyoung's thighs —I saw that, sis 😗. But yeah sksnqisndks. I love you and I hope we can have more time as sisters this year <3

💖 @ateez-little-star

Jas, the beautiful star in the sky 🥺 You were actually my first sister in my Tumblr Family. I still think is funny how I try really hard to baby you but at the end is in the other way, you end baby me skjssksisns 🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I be more grateful to met you, uh? You always listened to my problems and I do considered a lot your opinions, is very kind to talk to you. I feel always loved when I talk to you. Also not to mention how I felt when during the night you left and when I searched you, you were gone. I was really sad and my first thought was "If she doesn't come back... She will remember me?" ksudisbskd but in days you came back and I was so happy :(( Please don't leave me again, Jas :( You are very soecial to me, my baby sis 🥺💖

💖 @hiatus-kittenmbb

Msisnsiddn MU AUNTIE HERE, EVERYONE. MSIWBSKDJDSBSB I want your love, cuddles, kisses and all the things you can give me and I'll make sure to make you feel the same, with tons of love <3 Not to mention how funny is to talk to you and all the times you told me to bother Kitty mom hahaha such a good and lovely relationship both of you have hahaha. Ps:Don't forget I love you so much, Auntie <3

💖 @hwastreasure

Mia :( I'm sorry because I don't have many things to say but at the same time I don't want you to feel sad about it. I remember I told you I will talk constantly to you and I didn't do it. Please forgive me :(( Can we try again and be closer now? :(

💖 @hongjoong-a-holic

SOFIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-.... Oh, no. My mistake. Let me try again. MY LIL LIOOOOOOOOOOOON GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~. I don't have a lot of words how to describe the love and affection I have for you. You were always paying attention to me and giving me love —not to mention that you told me I needed to hug you just because you wanted nsisns and I say no lol— and that's cute sksnsksis. I also want to say that all those times that I do bother you with Blue about gifs of Ateez dancing sexily and those smuts and all that explication of sexuality... I have cero regrets! :D lmao. If you really thought I will say sorry about that, is a nono. I know you love it at the end lmao. But there is something I for sure need to be sorry... I know you were sad about me leaving ti be on hiatus and I still did but baby, I really needed to do it. I promise I'll be back soon. Very soon, just wait for me <3

💖 @hwaberrykiwi

Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam :(( I began to talking to you thanks to Jas that she asked me if I knew you and I said no and she just make me talk to you and guess what? I'm happy she did that because hey, I met an amazing person. And even if we didn't talked that much, something my heart will not forget are the words you told me when I said Uw as going on hiatus. I was really touched, I cried. I really did at the end but yeah. I would love to be more close to such a person with a big big heart <3

💖 @joongieblue

I don't even know how to began this because I think everything I need you to know, you already know it but at the same time I feel like I still need to say a lot :(( I don't want you to feel less as a person anymore... I know you said that way of thinking is because of your depression but baby, try to look at the amazing people who are with you, that cares about how you are and of course you are very important to them. You are very sweet and amazing as a person, let me tell you that I see in you a soft light. A very pure light that needs to shine bright in the sky but the darkness is making her feel like a insuficient and lonely light. Don't worry, things will get better soon. Trust me <3

💖 @seonghwa-is-babie

How can I began this without this looking awkward? 👉🏼👈🏼 I met you thanks to Zad and what I learned is that you were such a good, kind and shy boy but of course I still think you can be very intimidating if you want to. I'm sorry for not having a lot of conversation with you since I met you but I promise I'll try harder to be close to you. Of course, if you don't mind <3

🧡 - @seacottons

How can I began this?... The first time I talked to you, it was me trying to tease you really bad. I can also remember I told you to cald me kitten or something like that at that moment and the next thing we talked was about how I wanted to be adooted by you so bad isnsldks I don't regret doing all what you wanted me to do so you can adopt me because hey, you are amazing, wonderful as my other mom. Talking to you is like a way to calm my insecurities and stress I had during the day. You always giving love to me and even those cute hugs in the head you give or when you are too much sleepy to even type correctly iwjeneid you are such a baby :(( I'm still sorry for the time I called you a rouch, you aren't a bug... You are a beautiful, sweet, kind Queen I have the posibility to call mom. Not to mention that you are also my sweet, cool pumpkin —favorite— mom. Also, I can remember all those times you told me to bother or kick Kitty just because "she need it" dkbsskdjd the time you also wanted to disown me dibedidnzsj Leaving that topic to say cute things I love about you again is that... I'll be forever happy and gratefull with you. You gave me great advice when I needed them the most. You gave me a shoulder and a soft comfortable place to talk about my deep problems, my insomnia, depression, all of that. Thank you, mom. Thank you so much for letting me be part of your life and of course, youre mine. I will not share with Kitty <3

💖 @jongpleasure

My lovely, sweet and innocent twin ^^ lmao, we know we both are like really really twins. Our birthdays are very close, we both are Cancers, have the same bias that we share with each other because damn, he is really nice. But hey, is still very good to know you because you are talented, really really talented. The videos you create are wonderful and I am not saying that just because I know you, they are very good. The same with your fics, are amazing. You are an amazing writer, why you can't see that, uh? Want me to kiss your cheeks and hug you hard till you learn it? If you do want it, you are free to come to me and I'l give ut to you because msidbwks you are my lovely twin that I love so much. Have a great new year, I hope all your problems get resolved and you can noticed how you are talented enough to succeed and that you have friends in here that love you so bad. Kyra, my sweet twin I love so much <3

🕷️🕸️ - @yunhoshoe / @jonghoshoe

Aw, my baby prince Zad :(( The one I can trully see as a baby even when you are such a year younger than me. I want to protect you every time, even when I know I can't do that much virtually... So everytime I need to make me feel that I gave you all the love I can give and hope you can feel all the love I try to give you every time we talk. I'm still sorry for that time I make you feel uncomfortable with my missunderstanding about spiders and all of that... I'm also sorry for that time I send you gifs about dogs when you were scared of them... I'm really sorry, baby. Your big sister is dumb many times but hey, she is also still learning and want to give all she can to you. I hope this new year, we cab still be closer. Who is my little sweet, cute baby prince? Of course, you <3

💖 @xiuminswifeforever

I know we aren't that close, sadly. I follow you on twitter and here and everytime we talk is probably you being horny and wanting to have sex or somethung with your hmm... Is funny to talk to you and I know you told me that you are mostly in twitter and that was why we don't talk that much but hey, I would love to talk more with you. Want to try in this new year? <3

💜 - @yunhoiseyecandy

My sweet angel Violet :(( HoW I can began this? Kdsndid I don't remember very well how I began talking to you... Like I try really hard to remember how I began talking to you and my mind is in blank siwnsksus I'm sorry because of that but at the same time, is the good memories that are important to remember, right? How can I not be feeling grateful with the angel that with some kind words that came from her heart, made me a crying mess because of how touched I was? :(( There are many things I know I will not forget. That time I was feeling low beecause someone was just being very mean with me and you were protective, your kind words when I was just losing my mind and feeling all that pain inside and you helped me release that... For this year, I hope we can still be friends because you are amazing and I don't want to lose you :( <3

💖 @treasure-hwa

I feel really bad if I began saying this but I do want to say the truth and the truth is that I usually get confused between shinnyddeonhwa because you both had/have Hwa in their profiles and I know you both don't even write in the same way but idk, is easily for me to get confused, I'm sorry T^T Changing the subject, I really loved that time when we began talking in Portuguese and Spanish at the same time. Was really funny to even think how everyone would saw that ksjsnskdd Also I am very touched and happy when you roleplay with me... You are very sweet even while roleplaying and that makes me soft in such a way dksbskdid I would like to roleplay again with you, only if you want to any other time 👉🏼👈🏼 Also in this new year, I hope we can still be talking to each other for a long time, sister <3

💖 @cometoceantrenches

Not me being speechless every time I began writing a paragraph kwusnekdid also not me becoming your friend the second you asked me how was the relationship between Cottons and I 👉🏼👈🏼 But look at the good side, we are sisters now and guess what? I noticed how you have a big BIG heart and all the love you can give is just so cute when I receive it or just read it. I hope in this new year we can make new and memorable conversations together. Don't forget you have an special space in my heart <3

🤍 - @vocalyunho

Amelie, my sweet and lovely wife :(( How can I began this? I remember the first time I talked to you. I said your writing skills were amazing and that you were cute and I wanted to try being your friend. Not to mention that two days later I ask you to be my wife dkebdidbdkd But I don't regret that at all. I'm really happy I met you because every time I talk to you, I feel in a safe space... A place I can say how I really feel without being judged... And what do I receive every time I talk my problems out? Sweet words and advice :(( Amelie you are such a good girl, a good advicer and an amazing friend. Thank you so much for letting me be your friend. I know I won something big with your beautiful friendship. Also I know that you have problems and stress but hey, as you said, things hopefully will get better, we just need to be patient and wait. And don't forget that you can come to me everytime you want. I'll be here for you, Amelie. Anlso in this new year, I hope our friendship can grow bigger and yeah, why not trying to create new memories together? Remember you are Yunho of our 2Ho. Love you <3

💖 @sollyho & @ateezinmymind

Well... Maybe this will look like a very short paragraph but... I felt bad at the same time because I don't have that much to say... For sure, I'm happy I met both of you because during our conversations, I can deduce that I can trust you because you are lovely and all of that. What I regret so bad is that during this 2020, I didn't talked that much and that's why I feel bad for not writing something big but please, don't feel that I don't care about you because I do :(( i hope in this new year, we can talk much and maybe be close friends 👉🏼👈🏼

👑 - @barnesbabee

Queen Trixie 👉🏼👈🏼 Well, what I can say is that first, I love your humor keiwbsnd also that everytime you tive your opinion about something, you have valid points. This will sound stupid but I do really like to read when you post something. As I said some days ago in your dm, I really would like to be close to you but at the same time I do feel like that will not occur or will not happen that easily because I am not that cool and well, I don't know, I feel like I would be that kind of person you would dislike easily. Something I promised this year and will keep till this new year is the tonw of love I give to you and the support you need as a powerful queen. <3

💖 @multidreams-and-desires

My baby sis that I love so much, always taking care of me ane telling me how much you love me :(( this year was amazing. Probably our talks are mostly about problems or just giving each other love. I'm happy that I met you because you are always kind and of course you have also those thirsty moments that all our Tumblr family have —that's why we all get along, we are a bunch of people that have Ateez as their weakness lol. Also, I need to mention that in this new year, you need to know that I'll be giving you more love so just wait for me <3

💖 @msmadness99

Seven, my lovely Seven ^^ First of all I need to mention the iconic moment we both noticed we talked in Spanish after months of always talking on English lol. I know some of your insecurities about your writings and I still want to let you know that when I say that your works are amazing, well written and calls the attention easily, I'm being honest and saying that not as your friend, I say that as a fan of your works. I don't know who tells you or makes you feel insecure about them but hey, is amazing. Even those short things you write and don't get me started with Break Out serie siendjdbdkdys Every time you update, you make me have my heart in my throat kduebwdkd You are very talented, don't let others make you think other way. I love you, Seven <3

I think that is all 👉🏼👈🏼

I hope you all receive this new year with a smile and always being positive ❤️

I’m so grateful for your support and love this year. May you have a prosperous, happy and healthy New Year.

May all your dreams come true in 2021! You got this!❤️