#I'm just so tired of being surrounded by transphobia constantly

[snubbullls]

Being a trans guy with a big chest has never been more torturous

[spacelazarwolf]

i was talking to another transmasc after they expressed some concern about coming out to some women friends of theirs out of concern that they'd be rejected for being transmasc, so i offered up my experience of how my close friend group saying "i hate men" and "it's so unfortunate to be attracted to men" affected me, made me feel like i was "betraying womanhood", made me feel guilty for just being gay, etc

then some other transmasc swooped in just to say "my relationship with manhood is also complicated but that's the fault of manhood, not non-men venting about oppression"

the vibe of implying that i was a misogynist for being affected by my friend group saying things that hurt me was really wild. then he went on to say that oppressed people need to vent and that he also needs a space to vent about men, and the difference between us in that moment was very stark. i'm a binary gay trans man, and he's a non-binary transmasc who is attracted to women, and occupies spaces that aren't geared toward men. we both have complex identities.

but because i don't have a connection to womanhood nor an attraction to women, i don't feel like i have a pass on being one of the "good ones" excluded when people say "i hate men". and beyond that i've been constantly surrounded by shaming for being attracted to men AND being a gay man. it's very trendy to treat gay men as degenerate, sexualized creatures and god forbid you're also a trans guy.

so i had to be like "yeah of course oppressed people get to vent but there's a point where it hurts everyone" and he kind of told on himself when he said that whenever venting about men happens so much time is spent defusing how it's not racist, it's not transphobic, etc. like you said it, not me. i'm so tired of other transmascs trying to prove they're "one of the good ones"

honestly it's exhausting how willing some trans mascs are to throw other trans mascs and especially binary trans men under the bus. i think we as trans people forget that we are not immune from transphobia, and way too many of us are only willing to unlearn it as far as it pertains to ourselves and no further. if we want to be in community with other trans people we have to unlearn it all.