#I'm just saying LUCAS' story was handled badly

[jaegerisim]

If u think that Lucas' story was handled well last season, I don't trust you.

[wheelerpilled]

Wait I saw a post saying the time skip could a 1yr+

IM SORRY THAT FEELS CRAZY??? HOW ARE THEY GONNA TIE UP LOOSE ENDS FROM S4???

like there's no way within that year timeskip Mike WOULDN'T have talked about the painting to El, I wanted to see that scene so badly 😭

AND JONATHAN AND NANCY'S SITUATION??? In that WHOLE year they probably would've talked about the college thing, Nancy probably found out he lied, so they could be broken up, idk?????

Do Mike, Lucas, and Dustin become like hated by the town because of their affiliation with Hellfire?????

Is Mileven STILL together?

how are they gonna handle these things in the story? I could understand a few months in a time skip but too long just makes it harder to answer these questions which are potentially pivotal moments for specific characters story arcs, I'm sure they'll handle it but STILL. YKWIM????

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.126 Uncle Luca

I loved how my dad loved Sophia. She was his new favorite sim, it seemed. If I ever lost him at a party, all I had to do was find Sophia because he was always somewhere nearby, admiring and watching over her. While Mama was filling me in on Alessia's situation, I saw him give Sophia a gift. He could have simply put it on the table just like everyone else, but he had to hand-deliver it so she knew he cared. If she weren't so wonderful, I think I'd have the right to be jealous, ha ha.

Just like at her birthday party, Sophia was the first one to hit the dancefloor, and one by one, everyone joined her. Even Alessia came out from wherever she was hiding. Previously, Chi Chi had latched onto Sophia and talked her ear off all afternoon, but she found a new friend in my mother, and that made me very nervous. I overheard Mama gushing about becoming a grandmother, and Chi Chi reminisced about Luna's infancy. I just knew they would eventually start talking about me, so I grabbed Less and got out of there.

We went upstairs, and as I stepped inside her room, the reality of her situation hit me hard. The familiar purple and blue color scheme I remembered remained, but everything else had changed. Three cribs had replaced her bed—two blue ones and a purple one. A changing table and other infant furniture crowded the walls, and baby play things lined the floor. These babies not only turned Less' world upside down with their presence, but also they displaced her, and now she slept in my room. I couldn't judge her for not appreciating the joy and privilege of becoming a parent because I had never faced the devastation of having my world upended like that. Me and Sophia's world would change with just one baby, but Less was having THREE she never wanted, and I felt for her.

"Less... I know this is a lot, especially since you didn't want any of it. But you're not alone. Me and Sophia will be here for you."

"No, you won't." Her voice sounded so hopeless and sad. "You're gonna have your own family to worry about and forget all about me."

"What? How could you think that? Yes, I'll be busy with my family, but you're still my family. I could never forget about you. You're my sister! And these babies are my family too. I might not be able to come all the time, but I'd never leave you in a lurch."

"Luca, I... I can't handle this!"

"You can! As soon as you see the babies, you'll know exactly what to do. It's in you! And maybe you won't like them, but you'll love them. And because you love them, you'll do whatever it takes to make sure they have everything they need."

"How do you believe that?" she asked.

"You come from a long line of amazing mothers. I'm sure you'll find your way."

"I doubt that, but I'm glad you believe in me."

I hated seeing her so down and wanted to cheer her up so badly. This moment was probably all wrong for our story, but she loved gossip even more than Mama. If I framed it right, maybe it would boost her spirits.

"You wanna know something Mama doesn't know?"

Her face was still droopy, but it lit up ever so slightly, just as I expected it would.

"Me and Sophia had trouble getting pregnant."

She gasped.

"Turns out we both had low fertility. We had to do IVF."

"Oh, Luca! I feel like such a dunce for complaining around you!"

"It's okay. You didn't know."

"Yeah, but still. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I mean, it doesn't segue well in conversation. 'Luca, I'm pregnant!' 'Oh yeah? I might not be able to have children.' Nah. Besides, by the end we were just so depressed like you are right now. We didn't want to bring anyone into that."

"I understand. I hate that for you, but I'm glad you finally got your baby. Do you want to meet mine? I know they'll be in love with you."

I was very surprised she invited me to feel the babies and hoped she was slowly coming around. I still couldn't believe she had THREE of them in her little body. I placed my hands on her tiny belly and felt an itty bitty bump. It was small, but it was there. Suddenly, hit me that I was an uncle! I never thought I'd be able to say that.

"Hey, little guys! This is Uncle Luca. I know it's a bit crowded in there, but play nice and be good for mommy, okay? I love you all so much!"

"You're such a doofus."

"Thank you, big brother. I don't deserve you."

"It's gonna be okay, Less. We got you."

[darklydeliciousdesires]

NEW STORY!

I'm not even sure how long this will be yet, but I'm saying short, multi-part so far! Where my Luca gals at? File up and form an orderly queue, because Nobody's Girl is arriving soon! A little mood board and teaser below for you!

Meet Emily Jane, my new OC. She's a little different to my usual bold, strong OC's, a sweet little flower of a girl, and the direct opposite of Luca in just about every way she could be.

“Am I safe here, Luca?” 

He sniffed, running his long, tapered fingers through his hair, his magnetic green eyes moving from the street below over to her. “From them, yes. But maybe not from me.”  

She gulped, and he saw it, the fear flashing through the storm grey of her eyes, moving to crouch before her, resting his hands upon her thighs. “Not like that, honey. I ain’t gonna hurt you, but the more time I spend with you, the more I fuckin’ want you more than any other woman I’ve ever met.” 

And he did. He wanted her so badly, it drove him to maddened distraction. She was unlike the women of his past, the fiery Italian broads who matched his ire and deafened his senses with their brashness. This dainty, quiet little creature was all sweetness and softness, a light he knew the dark in him was drawn to, a perpetual moth to her flame.  

He wanted to sink his teeth into her, eat her like a ripe summer peach, but he held himself back, resisted the urge. She was too delicate for it, for the lust that prowled through his veins like a fire breathing dragon. His heat, he knew, would burn her to ashes, yet Luca never assumed for one minute that Emily actually wanted to feel his fire against her skin. 

After all, she’d handled much worse than a horny Changretta. 

Reaching for his face, her dainty fingers toured the scars, shuffling nearer to the edge of the bed, the potent smell of his skin and cologne heady upon her senses. Her touch rained like rose petals over everything in him that was hard and foreboding, her fingernail idly tracing the black cross marked upon the side of his neck.

“Maybe I want you just as much.”  

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Burn It Down (20x10)

Ughhhh. Wow. That was not a good finale for me, for a lot of reasons.

Cons:

Gosh, where to even start, my list of grievances is so long. I guess let's go with a couple of the smaller irritants first: Jo being pregnant is such a no from me. And her not telling Link about it? What? Yeesh. I guess I'm glad that her dramatic passing out was just exhaustion and that she's fine, just pregnant, but I'm also very grumbly about the whole thing. It does seem like this show prioritizes storylines that I'm less interested in, and pushes aside the things that would really compel me.

Case in point number two, Lucas and his future fate. I wanted to be moved by everyone showing up to plead his case in front of Catherine, and in a way I was: good on Bailey and the interns for standing up to Catherine Fox, she badly needs to be told she's overstepping, honestly. But Lucas is just so fundamentally uninteresting to me, that the idea that the cliffhanger of the whole season is "but what about Lucas's career" just... sucks, from an investment perspective. Yasuda and Kwan and Jules are at this point far more interesting to me, and I like Simone a lot when she's not tied up in Lucas's drama. I'm just bummed about where the story investment is going, is I guess what I'm saying.

There's been a lot of retreading familiar ground this season, as I think at least for some of the characters, this show is really showing its age. Never have I felt that more than with Richard. Holy shit, Richard's role in this episode pissed me off like you wouldn't believe. The wishy-washy way he's almost retired or stepped back from surgery over the years makes every story like this feel like the boy who cried wolf, but honestly? Fingers crossed he actually finally fucking retires. Why? Well, so we can stop hearing about it, for one, and also... he killed a man???

I was honestly flabbergasted by the handling of this patient's death in this episode. The fact that Richard can wax philosophical about his past and say "it might really be time for me to put down the scalpel" after he realizes he made a totally preventable mistake and it resulted in a patient's death is just... so off, tonally, to me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Isn't this the kind of shit that should get Richard, and the hospital, into big, big trouble? Should we have seen the consequences through the reactions of this dead man's family or something? It just felt so flat! Someone tell Mika and Jules that they're not responsible for this man's death! And someone take Richard's badge away from him. Go on, Catherine, you're kicking every damn body else out of this joint, why not add your husband who clearly can't do his job anymore?

Before we get to Catherine, and oh boy are we getting to Catherine, let's talk about Bailey. I love Bailey, I love Ben, but this was another story that felt like such a retread of things we've seen a million times. Bailey being affected by Ben's job, worried about him constantly, it's nothing new - we see it all the time, whenever they want to amp up the potential drama here. Ben, evidently, survives the finale of Station 19, so I think hopefully we can put this to rest. I'm seeing rumblings that Ben might be coming back to surgery and thus jumping back over to Grey's. Wouldn't be mad about it, to be honest. Let's set this whole firefighter husband worry behind, for Bailey.

Then there's Nick and Meredith. Not much to say about this. I find them boring. I don't get why Meredith is invested in him. He is a nothing character with nothing interesting about him whatsoever. I hate that because of Meredith's part-time status on the show, we're probably just going to keep seeing the two of them go along in their boring relationship for the rest of however long this show goes. I wish Meredith could have been sunsetted off the show with a character I give a damn about.

And last but not least in my long list of complaints... yeah. Catherine Fox. You know, I've struggled to figure out my distaste for this character for a long time. Grey's is filled with brilliantly complicated characters, in particular it's filled with women who do bad things for good reasons, or even for bad ones, women who have egos and ambitions, women who refuse to fill a palatable role to make everyone comfortable. I'm fine with a flawed character, I'm fine with Catherine being in the wrong sometimes. But yowza! Her ego trip, her inflated sense of her own importance... I cannot with her! Do you know how much a character has to be pissing me off for me to take Owen's side on something? But when he snapped at her to let Teddy help with the surgery, I was cheering him on!

The pettiness of taking Meredith and Amelia's research away and giving it to Tom Koracick? Now, don't get me wrong, if this means we'll see Tom next season in some capacity, I'm all for it, but in terms of Catherine's actions here? It's aggravating beyond compare. Her playing politics with information that could actually save so many lives? Her complete lack of awareness that she's the one who fucked up by trying to silence Meredith in the first place? The absolutely petty move of cutting Owen's badge access off, along with Teddy's and Amelia's? Like, what the fuck did Owen do except snap at you a little bit for trying to stand in the way of a firefighter's life being saved? The audacity of her firing him too for that? Seemingly? Yeesh. Take several seats, Catherine Fox.

Pros:

Despite my many complaints about this episode, there were actually several moments I enjoyed just fine.

Catherine being annoying did allow for Owen to be a badass, and for Meredith to be even more of a badass. When Catherine says she's just like her mother, Meredith says "good, that means I'll win." Hell yeah, Mer. You tell her.

I also love Amelia so much, and I think the friendship between Amelia and Owen is honestly very charming and mature, so good for both of them there? I loved when Amelia asked him for advice and Owen said that she'd never taken his advice before, so why start now? He does eventually tell her that he personally wouldn't be giving the research to Tom Koracick, but that's just because he has extremely legitimate reasons to hate that dude.

I'm grieving hardcore for Yasuda not sticking around next season, and I hope there's a way for her contract to get renegotiated or something! Because that Yasuda and Jules almost kiss? Yes please? I haven't felt this invested in a romance that probably won't even happen in a long time on this show. But even without it being definitively a romantic thing, I love their friendship so much. I hope someone tells them right away that they aren't responsible for the death of that patient!

I'm still not "on board", exactly, for the Winston/Monica thing, but I suppose I can enjoy it for the drama for the time being? I do want Winston to be able to find happiness, honestly. I just hope Amelia/Monica is a thing we get to see in the future, too.

I'm also still in denial about Schmitt leaving next season, but I did like how annoying he was in this episode, honestly. He can be kind of a lot to handle, and I like that he's allowed to be a little more openly frustrating sometimes. Him being annoyed with Jo for not telling him she's pregnant was such a funny bit, as he realized what he had inadvertently done.

As boring as I find Lucas, I did like the little plot thread where he helps with the app to connect people who are trying to find each other. And I like that Dorian is finally discharged from the hospital - a happy ending for that patient was sorely needed after everything he's been through!

So... yeah. All in all, I'm annoyed with this episode. I'm annoyed with Catherine, I'm annoyed that Jo's pregnant, I'm annoyed that everyone's focused on Lucas, I'm bored by Nick. I'm happy that Dorian got discharged, and I'm happy that Meredith is standing up for herself, I guess? We'll be back for hopefully a bit longer of a season twenty-one. And we'll find out what the heck is going on with Kwan's amnesiac ex-fiancee... man, this show can be endearingly ridiculous sometimes.

6/10

[definitelydissociative]

Being in college has been a very strange experience for us so far--and I use "us" here because it's not just the school parts who are having a strange time. I'm absolutely not a school part, previous to returning from dormancy two years ago, I was only ever here to soak up the night time abuse. Now, somehow, I'm sitting here on a day off (it's reading week, thank god) and I'm typing this post to avoid doing homework. I somehow ended up roped into this whole mess, despite having been very, very vocally against attempting school again. I don't know how I feel about it now.

Initially, it seemed like it was all going to be one single part who handled our courses during the day and dealt with homework. Callie (the main school part) did it all on their own for the first few weeks, but I think they reached a point where she had a massive stress induced meltdown and has refused to touch homework since. Now it's just Callie who goes on campus, but there's a whole bunch of us who are contributing academically and in terms of support. There's a part who does all of our timed touch typing and typing drills. Phoenix gets us all ready to go in the morning. Luca is, apparently, the "bus guy" because nobody else can handle the stress of taking public transit here after being sexually harassed literally the first day we took the bus. I don't doubt there's more that I'm not aware of yet. Whoever is around contributes to homework, usually myself (Adam) or Jack. I'm working on a project for our graphic design-esque class, which is a brochure that's due tomorrow afternoon. Over the last week, I think it's passed between at least three of us, maybe four. It's incredibly strange to open up Canva and realize I have zero memory of what had been done by another part.

It's hard to deny the depth of our amnesia at this point. Memory sharing is weird, particularly between Jack and Callie, but most days when we get home from school and switch to home parts, nobody remembers that we'd had classes at all. Sometimes memories will be shared after the fact, though not always. It makes homework incredibly frustrating and difficult to keep track of--I've never had to be so rigorously organized before. It's just really, really fucking hard to sit down to work on an assignment and realize that I don't remember any of the lecture relevant to my assignments. It's exhausting, most of our extended homework sessions (some days I work six hours straight after school) are made so long because it takes up lots of time to track down the information we need.

Don't even get me started on dealing with trauma. It's a whole thing that needs its own post, but the short story is that we've been in deep, deep denial since disclosing to my mother went so badly last February. It's a huge part of why this blog was abandoned, actually. It's been a work in progress but that denial is finally fading and we're being forced to face the truth. The truth is just... unpredictable. It would be nice to keep, at the very least, the CSA flashbacks and triggers to at home, but it hasn't been working like that. I don't know enough about Callie's experiences to say what that's been like for her, but I am aware that it's been really distressing when she has her own school related trauma to deal with.

Anyways. I wrote this as a way to stall doing homework, but I should probably stop stalling and get the stupid thing done and over with. It's worth 20% of our final mark and I certainly don't want to get blamed for a shit mark because I refused to pitch in and be a team player.

I hate having to share my life sometimes. I just want to do my own thing, separate from the other chucklefucks and their bullshit.

[unclewaynemunson]

hellooooo there :) for the character game thing i was gonna suggest robin, but since you have already done her i’m gonna be my basic ass self and say eddie and also mike.

hitting you with two because i’m curious! (if you only wanna do one of them that’s coolio too of course) :))

have a wonderful day! <3

Yaaay thank you!

Eddie:

favorite thing about them: the fact that he never gives up. He's way braver than he gives himself credit for, repeating senior year twice and multiple times choosing to fight while he didn't necessarily have to.

least favorite thing about them: that we haven't seen him interact with Wayne :((((

favorite line: "Forced conforming, that's what's killing the kids." U R SO RIGHT SAY IT LOUDER

brOTP: i loved his dynamic with Dustin <3

OTP: steddie obviously

nOTP: i'm not a big fan of hellcheer tbh. i do like them as friends but i very much see eddie as a gay guy who doesn't understand the difference between friendly and flirty behaviour lol

random headcanon: he believes that he owes Wayne his life and it's very important for him to repay his uncle for that, even though Wayne would never expect anything in return. Eddie takes Wayne on a roadtrip "back home" to the south as soon as he has the money to do that, and when Wayne gets old Eddie and Steve happily take him in to have him live with them.

unpopular opinion: I honestly don't like anything to do with rockstar!eddie. I honestly think that would be very bad for him and a quiet, somewhat regulated life (with the band as just a hobby) would make him way happier.

song i associate with them: Can you handle my love by Walk the Moon, it's completely filled with eddie-coded lyrics (go listen to it it's a banger!!!)

favorite picture of them: SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM but i really love this one a lot bc he looks so happy and innocent here i hope this counts bc it's not technically an eddie pic lol

Mike:

favorite thing about them: i really liked how he was a refuge for El back in s1

least favorite thing about them: i guess his character development. sounds a bit mean maybe but he started out as a sweetheart and an extremely loyal friend, and over the course of the story he developed into a mopey teenager who complained about everything and treated so many of his friends badly (yes i know, he's a traumatized teenager, but as a character he's just not that compelling to me, sorry)

favorite line: "I only have like $3.50, so it's hard."

brOTP: is it bad that i don't really have one?

OTP: sorry bylers but i don't have an OTP for mike :/ i don't really have strong opinions about him and will together tbh. i care way more about El's and Will's storylines than about Mike's love life if that makes sense

nOTP: i really, really don't like him with El. maybe their dynamic was kinda sweet in s1, but i wanna see el grow into her own person and learn to value friendship over relationships.

random headcanon: when Nancy comes out to her family and Ted the Reagan Supporter™ is being totally shitty about it, Mike is the one who fiercely comes to her defense and keeps standing up for her. Underneath their constant bickering, they love each other so much, and he will always have her back.

unpopular opinion: i don't think it's super unpopular but he is very much NOT the heart of the group, like Will said. That's either Will, Dustin or Lucas, but definitely not Mike, who is actually responsible for most of their fights

song i associate with them: Stranger in town by Toto (I don't really have a good reason for this one other than that I think Mike would be a toto fan and vibe with this song)

favorite picture of them: it took me waaay too long to find this one but:

[welcometothewhitelotus]

“I healed you,” I say quietly, blinking back tears, “when you were trapped in that suit. You… left me, to be a Sith. Nine months pregnant, with our toddler. I don’t care what Palpatine said to you- you made a decision. You didn’t warn me, didn’t call me, I had the same comm number for years because I kept- I kept hoping you’d turn up. But even as Vader, you never called me.”

“Anyone else would have killed you, so weak in body and spirit. I watched this child, a child that looks like you, sounds like you, that you named our chosen names for our children, bully my son. And you just stood there. Didn’t even say anything. Just watched. You betrayed our marriage- I do not care that you needed someone. I understand needing someone. It’s been fact that you picked her of all people. Might’ve been you self-sabotaging yourself, but it still hurts. If I had been dead, it’s a terrible thing to do to my memory.”

I move in and untie Luca, setting him onto his bed, “and yet, this little son wanted nothing more than to spend time with you. Do you know why? Because Ben and I spent fifteen years talking about how wonderful his father was. I named him for you, Luca Anakin, and all he wanted to do was live up to your name. I don’t know if I would have told those stories, had I known.”

“I’m very hurt,” I look over at him, “you hurt me.”

Anakin closes his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he gives you a small nod. "'m sorry," he whispers, "I'm- it'll never make a difference, I know, but I can't tell you how sorry I am. It's not... because I was caught, or just because I know I'll have to work for what I had before all of this mess. I truly am just so... so angry with myself," he hangs his head, "And I don't- if it makes you feel better I know I don't deserve to be here. And I'll- I'll leave if that's what you want. Please just... please know I never stopped loving you. I never stopped dreaming about you, even after we were together and especially not after we were separated for all that time."

"I didn't reach out, you're right. Because I figured you would hate me. And I didn't- selfishly I didn't want to look at you, the one person I have cared about so deeply for nearly my whole life, and see hatred in your eyes. I decided that- that was just- the one thing I couldn't handle. Instead I've given myself something worse. Instead I now get to look at you and see all the pain I've caused you and know that we will never be sixteen again and you will never be in my arms in my bed again and I may never get to kiss you the way I've wanted to so badly," he breathes, taking a moment to hold in a sob. "I've done this to myself. And to everyone else. So maybe I don't deserve my sons. Maybe I don't deserve that second chance. They don't deserve to be associated with the person that ruined their chance to live a peaceful life here with all of you."

"But I'm not... going to stop trying," he says quietly. "I'm never going to stop trying to show all of you, in my actions or with my words, how sorry I am and how much I regret what I did. Because I love you so much that even if I get torn apart and rejected every time I make a step forward with progress, it is still worth trying to get you back."

[antianakin]

While there is obviously a similarity to the actions (if we take the sequels as canon), there's an ENTIRELY different motivation behind the two. Or, well, there is an obvious reasonable motivation behind Obi-Wan's choice that really doesn't exist for Luke's choice to my knowledge.

It's been pretty clearly stated by people like Lucas and Mark Hamill that Luke was demonstrably NOT READY to find out about Anakin and Vader being the same person. Luke was not ready for the truth, and Obi-Wan KNOWS THAT, which is why he holds onto that information for when he believes Luke is ready to hear it without going off the handle as a result. Luke literally commits what could be considered almost a suicide when he DOES find out, and while he's in the least ideal possible situation to hear it in, it still goes to show just how unready Luke was for that revelation.

Obi-Wan clearly has some familiarity with Luke, has had enough interactions with him for Luke to connect the name and recognize Obi-Wan on sight in ANH. Obi-Wan also clearly is fully aware of what Owen and Beru have told Luke ABOUT Anakin and that it's total lies. It doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility that Obi-Wan is FULLY aware of how much Luke already idolizes Anakin, something Obi-Wan has had next to no control over as someone who respects that Owen and Beru are Luke's official guardians and he is not. He could've like... forced Luke to find out really early against Owen and Beru's desires, I guess, but that's pretty wildly out of character for Obi-Wan and I don't see what Obi-Wan would gain from it. So by the time he DOES manage an opportunity to speak to Luke about it, Luke is 19 and has had YEARS of seeing Anakin in a particular way, which means dropping the bombshell of Anakin's true identity on Luke is going to hit HARD. It does not seem unreasonable to me for Obi-Wan to keep that in consideration, especially given, ya know, what ANAKIN did when pushed emotionally, and hold back on something he knows could set Luke off in a very bad direction until he was a LOT more sure that Luke would take it WELL.

None of this would be true for Luke and Ben Solo. I'm going to go out and say here that I think the way Luke is written in the sequels is really bad and out of character to begin with, I really dislike it, and so I just generally ignore it anyway and don't consider it a part of my PERSONAL canon. But for the sake of discussion, I'll try to do a basic comparison that will be predominantly based on my memories of the sequel films (I have consumed exactly no other sequels media and only know it through other people's posts).

Ben Solo would NOT have grown up idolizing Anakin Skywalker as the heroic father he never got to know. Ben Solo HAD a heroic father in Han, he also has a heroic mother in Leia. He knows BOTH of his parents and there's VERY little within the films that I recall to indicate that either parent did not love Ben or treated him badly at all. So he has no reason to hyperfixate on Anakin Skywalker the way that Luke would've done growing up with his aunt and uncle. Anakin's not even actually Ben's grandfather since Leia does not consider Anakin her father in any way but genetic. I find it incredibly unlikely that Ben would not have heard about Bail and Breha Organa as his ACTUAL grandparents. So while I'm sure Ben was fully aware that Anakin Skywalker was Luke and Leia's biological father, I'm also sure that Leia would've made it extra clear to her son that SHE did not consider Anakin her father, and so she would not consider Anakin to be Ben's grandfather.

Which means if Luke is choosing to discuss Anakin Skywalker with Ben Solo solely as someone good and heroic and perfect, that's... really ridiculous and entirely unnecessary. Choosing to disregard the truth about Anakin doesn't do Ben any good, especially since he'd have probably been a lot younger when Luke was choosing to tell those stories than Luke was when Obi-Wan first tells him anything. If Ben has an attachment to his genetic grandfather or a hyperfixation on Anakin Skywalker as a good heroic person, that's entirely Luke's own fault because he CREATED that separation.

Which is completely the opposite from the situation with Obi-Wan and Luke.

I will say that I think this is a really STUPID characterization of Luke, and not something I think Luke as he is portrayed in the original trilogy would have ever actually chosen to do. Luke in ROTJ never DENIES that Anakin and Vader are the same person, he does the exact opposite and that's... kind-of the whole point. Luke can recognize that Vader's done horrific monstrous things and still believe he COULD do better, can still HOPE for Vader to do better. This is not Luke just... pretending Anakin and Vader are different people or pretending Anakin never did anything wrong in his life. And I don't see the benefit in teaching about Anakin in that way to future students. It makes more sense to me that Luke would use Anakin as a cautionary tale, that he can extol that Anakin ultimately did make the right decision (kinda) but that Anakin made a lot of BAD decisions before that and that mindfulness and discipline and acceptance are what will keep them from going down a similar path. But that if they do make a mistake and hurt someone, they can always choose to do better next time.

I don't hate Luke. I hate SEQUELS Luke because SEQUELS Luke has nothing in common with the original Luke aside from the actor playing him, quite honestly.

I like thinking about all of the people in the galaxy who will only ever remember Anakin as the piece of shit nightmare monster he chose to be.

I love remembering that most people in the galaxy will only ever think of him as a villain, a tyrant, an oppressor, a murderer, and never as a hero.

Like regardless of whether he was redeemed at the end of the series or not, his legacy is hatred. The galaxy will never remember him as a good person, it will always ALWAYS remember him as the person who helped destroy democracy, genocide the Jedi, and enforce the Empire’s tyranny for 30 years.

It brings me warm fuzzies to remember that.

[gffa]

Honestly, the older I get, the more I understand the Jedi philosophy.

It’s like,as a teen- how can you just sit there and do nothing?! People are in trouble! And what the heck do you mean attachment, friends are important!!!

As a twentyish year old- okay, this is a sort of bad situation, but you still have to do something- and who the heck thinks having a former slave relive slavery for character building is a good thing?! (It was either a novel or a comic, I just noped right out because that was handled really badly by the author)

As a semi-mature adult- okay, emotions can really cloud your judgment, even the subjectively good ones. The philosophy the Jedi are based on is a good one, just a little bit different from what I’m used to, and the more I learn the better I understand the story! And a great part of me learning the story is thanks to your blog! So thank you for your efforts, they aren’t going to waste!

Of course, I still relapse on occasion, mostly when something hits me as wrong- the kadavo arc brought back my frustrations because the whole ‘exposure therapy’ or ‘flooding’ rarely works when it’s a controlled environment and the patient can tap out safely, because it’s more likely to re-traumatize a person and set back their recovery greatly. So having the council think it’s a great idea just kinda makes me 😡.

Again: Thank you so much for the information you provide!

It's interesting that I've talked to more than a few people who started out with the whole "the Jedi are a cult" and "the Jedi kind of brought this on themselves" and "they abused Anakin" train of thought and I'm one of them, too. I watched the movies when I was young, I didn't really have a lot of thoughts about them, Jedi good, Sith bad, etc. Then I got into fandom and saw people saying how the Jedi were really terrible and that was actually what you were supposed to understand when you really thought about it and I completely believed it. And then I got into rewatching the movies and watching TCW and reading Lucas interviews and waaaaait the Jedi don't actually seem that bad... well, they still needed to change, but... well, what were they supposed to do... wait, they're based on Buddhism, oh, that does change how I see them... wait, they're actually being really nice to Anakin in this scene and never took him to task unless he'd just fucked up real bad??... and, well, here I am. It's also true that, the older I get, the more I vibe with the Jedi's approach to emotions--you're not supposed to suppress them, but you need to be mindful of them, you need to let that shit go, because it will poison you otherwise. I was so, so angry when I was young. I was angry every day and the longer it went on, the more I would just seethe at people, the more I would wallow in the bad things happening to me, the more I would just be relentlessly negative. All of it was justified in any given example, but I was so fucking miserable. I was losing friends because they couldn't deal with it. I hated myself and everything. I realized I had to let go of my anger, no matter how justified it was. I still have things to be furious about today, in my personal life and in my online life and in the world around me, and there are days I handle it better than others. But every day I have to keep examining my feelings, acknowledging them, and not letting them consume me. Because that way only lies misery for me. So, the Jedi don't have to be perfect, literally nobody should be held to the standards of being perfect, nobody is 100% pure sunshine, because that's purity culture garbage. But they were genuinely trying, they were in shitty circumstances and not given correct info all the time, like, are we talking about Anakin going undercover with the Zygerrians? Because I think they trusted Anakin to tell them if he wasn't ready to do this, it wasn't meant to be exposure therapy, but that they believed he could handle it, that he might struggle with his anger about it, but if it was too traumatizing, he would say so. And he wasn't alone, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka were there to help him and keep an eye on him. It's not a perfect solution, nothing in the galaxy at that point in time was perfect, because there weren't really any good solutions. And my response isn't to try to browbeat you into agreeing or say that you're wrong, more to explain my view of things (since we're dealing with my inbox and all 😂) and why I sympathize with the position everyone was put in and why I don't think the Jedi were the worst ever or whatever. Sometimes we just disagree on things, interpret things differently, and as long as we're friendly to each other as real people (which you have been very sweet about in this message, thank you! I hope I can return it and my apologies if not), we'll be fine. And thank you for the reminder that, even if we disagree on some stuff, there are people who are fine just not seeing eye to eye and still understanding that the other person is kind and thoughtful and has their reasons, I really needed that today.

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Girl Out of Time

Paring: Bucky x Reader & Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and some eventual smut once the story reaches that point.

Chapter 3

I had been given sleeping quarters in the avenger's tower. My room only two down from Steve. My first night here was certainly a rough one. I didn't sleep much. I had too many things on my mind. I kept thinking back to my family. What became of them? How did my sisters deal with the life I left them behind in? Our father was never the nicest person. He was very controlling and horribly cruel. Even though I wasn't the oldest but the middle child I would always take the place of my sisters when it came to my father's wrath. I could always handle it more than they could. It may have hurt like hell but they never deserved it so I made sure that I always did. What happened when I disappeared? How badly had father been to them?

"Ja- Jarvis" I whispered hesitantly.

"Yes, Miss Roffe" the voice said.

"Would you... I mean could..." I groaned in frustration.

I'm not even talking to a person! What am I doing?

"Miss Roffe?" The voice asked.

"I need to know what happened to my family." I said choking on a sob.

"Certainly"

The wall in front of me lit up a few seconds later to show a photo of each of my family members. I stepped closer just to look at them.

"Can I see Amelia please?" I asked.

The images on the wall changed. It was my older sister Amelia. She looked so different. So much older. The image changed to a newspaper article. The tears fell down my cheeks as I tried not to sob. It was her death.

"Amelia Daniels, born 1921, oldest of three children. She married Jacob Daniels in 1948. They had two children together. A boy named Christopher Daniels and a girl named Willow Daniels. She died of natural causes in 2003 at the age of 82." Jarvis spoke as I stared at the photos.

I wiped my tears away. At least she had a good life. At least it sounded like she did.

"Can you show me Grace?" I asked Jarvis.

The images on the wall changed to show my baby sister. She was only ten years old when I last saw her. The images slowly moved threw her life. Showing me how she had grown up.

"Grace Yorkshire, born 1936, youngest of three children. She married Lucas Yorkshire in 1960. They have three children together. Two boys, one named Gregory Yorkshire and the other named Lucas Yorkshire the second. One girl named Annabelle Yorkshire. She resides at 1416 Dane Court in Brooklyn, New York."

A wave of excitement ran threw me knowing my baby sister is still alive. I have to see her!

--

The next morning I was banging on Steve's door to wake him up but he didn't answer.

"What are you doing?" Natasha asked from behind me.

"I need to talk to Steve." I said quickly.

"He isn't here. He goes for a run every morning. Is everything alright?" She asked raising a brow at me.

"My sister, my baby sister Gracie is still alive. I need to see her."

Natasha seemed to perk up at my words. She smiled and gestured for me to follow her. We walked into what I assumed was Natasha's sleeping quarters.

"Here wear this" she said handing me some clothing.

I laid it on the bed to look at it. It was a shirt and pants. I've never wore anything like this. My father said either dress like a lady or be treated like a man. In other words, we were to dress very modestly because if we didn't he would beat us like we were men.

"Willow, it's alright no one is gonna say anything to you. Just trust me." She said with a smile.

I nodded as I undressed. Once I had the new clothes on I felt odd but good. It felt freeing.

"Do you know where your sister is?" Natasha asked as we walked down one of the halls.

"1416 Dane Court Brooklyn, New York. All those years and she still lives in Brooklyn." I couldn't help the smile on my face.

"Let's go find her then."

I followed her into the elevator then quickly out of the front door and into the crowded street. She stepped to the side of the side walk then whistled really loud as she waved. A cab pulled up in front of us a few seconds later. She opened the door gesturing for me to get in first. I felt like a kid again going somewhere I'd never been. It was always so exciting.

"Where to?" The driver asked.

"Oh, um 1416 Dane Court Brooklyn." I told him.

He nodded then pulled back into the traffic. I watched out the window as we drove threw the unfamiliar streets. I had known this area when I was younger. Steve and I use to go all over the place. Now it was like I'd never stepped a foot in New York before.

The cab pulled over in front of a row of houses. Natasha handed him some money then we got out of the cab. I was standing on the sidewalk outside of 1416 Dane Court. Gracie is right inside there. My heart was thumping savagely against my chest. What would I do? What would I say? Would she even remember me?

Natasha gently pushed me forward towards the house. I took hesitant steps thinking this over. Should I really do this? This could go really bad. Before I could turn around and run Natasha knocked on the door.

"Just a second" I heard a woman shout from inside.

The door opened and there stood a gray haired Grace Roffe or Yorkshire now. I felt the sob rip from my chest. My baby sister was older than me now. The woman looked terrified and frozen to the spot as she stared at me.

"I don't know if you remember me. You were only ten the last time I saw you." I said wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"Willow?" She questioned with a shaking voice.

"Yes, it's me" I nodded.

She seemed to snap out of a trance then gestured for us to come in. I walked inside followed by Natasha. We both sat on the couch as Grace sat on the table across from us.

"How is this even possible?" She asked in amazement.

"I honestly don't know. I don't understand what happened to me. One moment I'm walking home in 1946 then the next I'm waking up here in 2013."

I watched Grace wipe her cheeks as she smiled.

"It's an odd thing to see you like this after all these years. You haven't aged a day." Grace chuckled.

"You have no idea. Everything is different. Can you tell me anything? Do you know anything about what happened?" I asked her leaning forward.

She shook her head.

"I was just a kid. You know how adults were back then. The children never needed to know anything. The only thing I knew was that something happened to you. You disappeared and you were never coming home. I know a little about your friends though. They were both national heroes. There's even an exhibit in the museum about them." Her smile was warm.

"My friends? You mean Steve?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Yea, that little twiggy boy Steve Rogers and the other really pretty one James Barnes."

James Barnes? I don't know a James Barnes.

"Gracie, I know about Steve but who is James Barnes?" I asked curiously.

"What?" She asked in shock.

"How could you forget James Barnes? He was beautiful! You were always hanging on him. I always use to say you'd marry him one day but you always blushed and told me to shut up." She laughed at her memory.

"No" I shook my head.

"I never knew a James Barnes." I said sternly.

Grace's smile fell as she looked at my serious expression.

"Willow, I'd never lie to you and I swear I'm not a crazy old bat even though I do look like one." She chuckled.

"Hold on, I have an old photo that Amy gave to me a few years back." She mumbled as she got up and walked to the other side of the room.

She pulled open a few drawers looking for the photo. When she found it she shouted holding it up in the air. She came back to sit in front of Natasha and I once more. She held the picture against her chest.

"This was the original photo that was used in the first article about you missing. It was taken at the Stark Expo the day before James left for the army. You were so heart broken to have him leave. Here." She handed the photo to me.

I gently took it from her and flipped it over. There I was smiling but my eyes were puffy from crying. I hadn't noticed that detail before. I don't remember crying that night. Steve's tiny frame stood next to me with his arm over my shoulder as he smiled widely. On the other side of me was indeed an extremely handsome man. His arm looked like it was tightly around my waist like he was pulling me closer to him. His smile was large but he wasn't looking forward like Steve and I. He was looking down at me. Why can't I remember him?

I felt the tears on my cheeks again. I wiped them away quickly then handed the photo back to Grace. She shook her head and pushed my hand away.

"I don't know what happened to you Willow but I know how much both Steve and James meant to you. Keep it and try to recall some of those memories. I promise they were incredibly happy ones. Every time you were with James you were so happy."

Natasha and I thanked her. I hugged her tightly and promised to come back to visit. After that we went back to the tower.

---

Masterlist

[degenerate-perturbation]

Look, if you put a human-acting thing on a screen, make it visibly afraid to die, show it forming emotional attachments to others, audiences are going to perceive that as a person. It's going to cause dissonance when audiences see other characters treating these people-seeming things like garbage. You say it's wrong to anthropomorphize the droids to preserve the morality of the characters who treat them badly, but why? Isn't it kind of dangerous to assure ourselves that creatures that show fear and pain and love aren't really capable of those things, and that it's perfectly moral to treat them like objects? Is this kind of thinking not the root of a grand amount of evils in our world?

From a purely technical perspective, the difference between a a smartphone and a droid is that a phone is a specialized artificial intelligence (and nobody is claiming those are sentient) and droids behave like generalized artifical intelligences (which has not yet been achieved in our world). You can hem and haw, but an artificial general intelligence is the complete equivalent of a biological general intelligence. What are humans but biological machines? Droids are shown to be able to think creatively, behave emotionally, and do all sorts of things they wouldn't reasonably programmed for. As an in-universe question, why would anyone program an astromech droid to talk back? And R2 only speaks binary, so it's not like the answer is "because its funny for the humans who built it", like you might argue for C-3PO. Particularly, droids are capable of development--R2 and BB-8 developed their personalities through their experiences. They are capable of learning, and on a very high level, too.

I'm not in AI myself but I'm absolutely certain any AI specialist will tell you that the droids in Star Wars are so fantastical in their behavior that there's practically no chance they're not just as sentient as you or me. A specialized AI just isn't capable of the things we see droids doing.

And okay, fine, you can say there's ambiguity there, and that maybe they really are "just" machines. But is that really a chance you can take? Like, roboethics is already a field in our world for a reason. We don't even have potentially sentient machines yet and we have established a field of debate for arguing about the right way to handle this possibility ethically.

If you take what Lucas actually wrote, and analyze it, what you see is a slave class of artificial sentient intelligences, who ordinary good people like Leia and Han are socially conditioned to not view as people, resulting in all manner of atrocity. And this happens in the real world all the time.

Did Lucas intend for any of this? Of course not. I suspect he just didnt really think about it. It's easy to dehumanize something obviously personesque without thinking about it. We have the mental machinery in place for it. And though it may be his universe, he sold the rights to it, didn't he? And even if he hadn't, you can't own an idea. Star Wars belongs to everyone, because a story is formed at the intersection of artist and audience. So I'm fully within my rights to look at a work of art, consider the intentions of the artist, and say "that's bullshit."

Where is that clear from? Remember that displaying emotions is not the same as having emotions. We have mobile phones that can feign emotions but they have less sentience than a bacteria.

I think that narrative never assessing it precisely means it’s not there. It’s Lucas'world, not ours. And he made Luke, Leia and Han 100% light characters by the end of RotJ without ever changing their attitudes towards droids.