#I'm having a creative crisis
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Silly references of characters from favorite game
#good pizza great pizza#gpgp#I'm having a creative crisis#I really like Michael and I hope that his story will be revealed in the future#I think he should improve the dough recipe#because the pizza cannot be bland due to the toppings
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miniature paintings of valkyrie
#ensemble stars#shu itsuki#mika kagehira#watercolor#I'm in creative crisis#am I an artist?#I'm so small and insignificant#I'm also on twitter now. don't know#It's so frustrating for me to have to interact with other people in response to#my dear viewer#look at my drawings and leave me messages#without ever talking to me face to face#I'll fall in love with you and you'll never know about it#i love you. yes#you!
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i think i got accepted into the 2D animation class at my university #win #success #awesome
#talks#all of my other classes this semester are kind of boring. we kind of got the worst professors/teachers for every class too lmfao#our first semester teachers were so passionate about their job and now we only have teachers who have the personality of a cardboard box.#i really looked forward to illustration but our first seminar yesterday was a huge disappointment#and i'm lowkey trying not to have a crisis about it lol.... it's not even the class. it's the teacher & the way he chooses to teach us#which is just. sketching from real life. realistically. no room for creativity whatsoever. WE WONT EVEN HAVE A FINAL PROJECT#i'm mad about it because the other groups who had illustration last semester had assignments that sounded really fun#illustration class is the reason why i chose to study here in the first place.... and we got a teacher who doesn't gaf about it. grrrrr#anyways. i'm hyped about 2D animation!! it's the only class i really look forward to :D
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I know that my ideas aren't the best, and that my opinions seem shallow, and that I'm probably not the best profile when it comes to art or writing or anything interesting but HOLY SHIT LET ME BE HAPPY WHAT HELL!
#DAMN I JUST WANT TO STOP FEELING LIKE SHIT#I'm on the brink of stopping posting things about any fandom possible#oh you're are attacking my depression anxiety existential crisis today so much#JESUS JUST LET ME BE#If you don't like anything I post JUST IGNORE IT WHY YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT#shogun 2024#shogun#shogun fx#stellatrix#ftws#fanfiction#creative writing#writeblr community#writers on tumblr#writer problems#writers of tumblr#writing problems
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I fucking forgot I had explicitly been rolling with the poison dart frog ability theory for this fic since we didn't actually know when I started this thing.
#im going to have to go back and add an authors note to the beginning of this thing damn. i'm only 4 chapters in with 12 more to go damnit#im kinda frustrated with myself like shit should i just rewrite that out of the first chapter instead of doing this to myself#or do we just pretend beast fyodors ability is different smh#it would be one thing if i was even halfway through with it#i guess that is the risk of taking that long a break in an ongoing series for a character like that#do i care. do i not care. hmmm.#im going to be having a creative crisis for the next hour or so deciding this because it also is relevant to other parts in my outline#for future chapters.#wait but there are just immortals in general here so he ain't special.#maybe i keep some version of the poison dart frog thing because the body swapping isnt as notable like he might as well not have an ability#i guess. i dont know. rahhhhhh#-pers
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Ough
#god i never realize how depressed I've been until im applying for zines and find out that ive only done 2 finished pieces this year#like i dont know i just feel like im stagnating in more ways than one#creatively. socially. occupationally#i just. sigh#i joked today that I'm having a mid-20s life crisis but i think there's far more truth in that than i wanted
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i just realised that it might be a little strange that for a person with limitless creative drive, i have very little creative ambition?
#my sister asked me if i had any desire to leave my mark on the world#and i realised that maybe it isn't typical behaviour to scorn at those creatives in books who agonise over#being remembered when they're gone? i've done that since i was a child#i always thought it was contrived#but apparently it's a real thing and it's just so far for my experience that i never realised it wasn't just made up#what the fuck#now i'm having a bit of an existential crisis#i have always been a bit insecure about my lack of creative juices#i've always been better at reproducing than making out of nothing#but i've trained those muscles too#to some extent at least#but i still just do my things because they're fun!#not for external validation#although that's good too#feels nice man#but the internal validation i get from satisfying my creative urges is more important#and my creative urges can be satisfied by finding someone who's done something great and latching onto them and going#look !!!! they get it!!!!!#and then obsessing over them for one thousand years#internal monologue
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throws my whole story into the trash
#I don't have the time to write creatively except in small bursts and I am uninspired#it's the corporation law#soul-sucking#also the global disasters don't help#a little existential crisis inducing#rambles#also#if you are a FTH person I will email you! it just takes ~time~ and I'm currently ~time poor~
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it took me 4 years to realize it's okay to fuck around with my writing
and it, in fact, is extremely healthy to do so
#i realized i starved myself creatively fml#one of those: i hate i'm now realizing it bc existential crisis but i cannot think of any other way for me to fully understand it#i will always have mixed feelings about graduate school#tally vents
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the thing about WS beaulix brainstorming is i don't know if i'm going to or even should write the multiple sex scenes in my head but the problem is that apocalyptic world really does give so many more interesting opportunities for Sex Locations
#LIKE YOU GET TO BE CREATIVE!!!#most adventurous beaulix sex in RR/LB is in the car LOL#there might be something more adventurous in LB but i haven't figured out out yet. but still not as fun as the WS opportunities#like when else can they have sex in an ABANDONED DINER#or a wilting greenhouse?? overturned train carriage?? like is this the power of spec fic???#i never thought about this when i did my 2022 draft#i remember i had a massive crisis during nano trying to look up natural lube alternatives because i was like#this personal project is littered with plot holes for the sake of being self indulgent but god i will make the sex accurate#but all of them were so bad....i will spare.....but now i'm just like who cares LOL
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Ketu in the houses
Doing smaller(in this case not so much, but it's still more elementary and formulaic) posts before dropping the big ones. I know you all are going to love this (my blog has become a ketu information hub for a lot of you 😅🙃)
As always, keep in mind: ketu is very internal and personal. I can give you basic descriptions and observations but to connect with your ketu, due to its essence and nature, I think you'll have to shut out a lot of the noise and just listen to yourself. That concerns everything. So, if your truth is telling you that I or someone's description is incorrect, then trust it. Be careful while examining that.
Ketu in the 1st house:
Automatic and natural possession of the physical body. Comfortable in their own skin, sometimes too comfortable. Have an appearance that suits natural adornment. Quality pieces look extra good on them, but even they wear/carry something "cheap", it still somehow works. They don't have to really think about their appearance, but if they do start to, it might have enormous impact on others. They're not really fans of trendy looks of the moment as I've observed, they have the power to set the trends themselves but I'd say most of them are not aware of that. Might be loud while talking and have a sort of unrestrained/unfazed demeanor. On ther hand, they might also be really quiet.
When all else fails, just focus on yourself. Keep coming back to yourself in times of crisis. You have good health but don't ignore it, this placement might not even give you the permission to. You have enormous privilege of having amazing power, don't waste it.
Ketu in the 2nd house:
Hoarders, collectors, but not intentionally. Possessions have meanings attached to them. Intuitively have a knowing of what should go into their body and follow it, even if others disagree. Good at measuring the worth of things or people. Relaxed face. Sort of disconnected from their family or lineage, or seem that way. Family support was convenient in childhood but might have been taken for granted. Deeper voice(?), slightly intimidating way of speaking. Great singers(?).
You can always ground yourself, no matter how strongly it seems otherwise. The support and the family can be all around you if you find it inside yourself first.
Ketu in the 3rd house:
This is my placement, so it's gonna be longer(cause I have more info, not cause I'm arrogant😭) so bear with me.
Aware and alert but ironically might not be aware of this at first. Great instincts, naturally skilled. The information field is constantly on their radar. A lot of what they observe is boring to them, and they absorb everything. Movements are natural/effortless. Might look clumsy or careless with movements or speaking sometimes but they have it together, more than others and more than it shows. Have the ability to skillfully get out of sticky situations. Survivors. They have creative ways of managing tasks. Great with details but confused with too much data, they consider it pointless. Can get to the bottom of things. Can play devil's advocate but they often don't want to. Can argue but it's mainly to increase a sense of self-possession. Their "trivial" words have more meaning than they or others assume at first. Don't say a lot of what they know. Might be surprised that things that are obvious to them elude others. More shrewd than they look, but they themselves consider a lot of "shrewd" and "cunning" strategies dumb and superficial. WILL NOT trust others before analyzing them in their head. Quick, kind of messy minds but still somehow organized and sensible. Love to dig and investigate. Trust themselves before anyone else. Know that they know stuff but can't show the whole truth of it easily. Use confusion as a weapon. Relationships with siblings, cousins and childhood friends are nuanced, interesting and kind of cimplicated. Town/neighborhood black sheep but still fit there the best.
Ehh, what can I say, you're doing amazing keep going. 😭 The truth will come, don't worry, boredom is not forever and sometimes it's better than anything. Anxiety is a warning, get that b*tch out of your system, connect to what makes you calm. Look around you and get rooted to your life, like you know how to do.
Ketu in the 4th house:
Strongly tied to their home/family, whether they want/like it or not. Private about family life. Need their space a lot. Sort of clingy to their family and home but at the same time want to break out of it. Get defensive if you get too close or vulnerable. Have a natural ability to nurture but always nurture themselves first. Familial responsibility is embedded in them. May have been spoiled with attention, especially in childhood but have hated it, or have come to hate it. On the other hand, might have felt very ignored by their family memebers. Might have a very traditional family that values culture, upholding to moralities, and appearance.
Family is not the worst thing in the world and I know the ties might hurt, but there is truth and stability there for you. Find peace there and the rest will fall in place.
Ketu in the 5th house:
Fun, creativity, art has deep meaning to them. Life is built on entertainment for them. Their life is a soap opera. Dramatic and expressive. Art is their religion. Can be ignorant of other's preferences and naturally assert dominance when the situation concerns creativity, entertainment and art, even remotely. Only know what they like and don't seek to be trendy in their preferences, it's very personal to these natives. Can be selfish and get lost in hedonism. Don't discriminate between pop and indie, or discriminate harshly. Not easily infulenced in general but easily persuaded if you know their "weak points"/preferences. Generous with their attention if others can pay even more attention to them.
Yeah, life is art, but it's not for profit and not always for show. Learn to be humble when life demands it. It IS your life, but before you get lost in the art, make sure you're rooted in the truth of it.
Ketu in the 6th house:
Resilient, distrustful but relaxed. Healthy and helpful, very practical and balanced. Might have had health struggles that have shaped them and made them stronger. Natural medicine>chemicals. Will take chemicals if they consider it correct and see no other way. Expert at making the best out of the worst situations. Not confrontational but can put people in their place. On the other hand, might not hesitate one bit and be direct in times of tension. Know how to look after themselves and hate it when others interfere. Won't take advice even from close people, have a very unique and personalised way of looking after themselves, as well as a unique/personalised routine. Obstacles might persist but they can't to much to these people. Skillful and quietly cunning but it's not much work.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and squeeze them in other people's eyes if needed. You gotta be selfish sometimes, what can you do. Every day is a gift and the routine is a privilge. Don't be mean about it.
Ketu in the 7th house:
Lovers and supporters. Recognize other people easily and connect to them deeply and effortlessly. Charming and genuine. Recogize the truth behind connections and human behavior, sensitive to one-on-one dynamics. Good listeners, excellent company, giving and humble but know how they gain from relationships and connections. Value harmony and conflict resolution. Naturally attune to others and find their sense of self through them. Know how and what to sacrifice for others but have strong and specific boundaries. Love has a deep meaning to them, any kind of love. Important relationships are full of intricacy and are laced with destiny.
We are parts of something bigger than us, and we all have stories to tell. Keep finding yourself through other people and keep helping others find themselves. "Karmic" ties are not punishment, they're the simple truth.
Ketu in the 8th house:
Complicted internally, don't make much of it. Each crisis is an opportunity to gain. Survival IS life. Never reveal too much of themselves and easily read others, but can be stubborn about seeings things in only their way. Incorrect judgement costs them a lot, correct judgement gives them enormous power. Struggle anyways. Casually intense. Se×ual and private. Privacy is a must. Go through a lot of pain and become savage if their privacy is invaded. Know that selfishness is very selfless. Quietly independent, confidently dependant, carefully engaging. Adaptible but out of necessity. Hide their intensity, along with other things, very well.
The complications are alright, don't be afraid of the unknown, or fear itself. It's okay to go deep, it's okay to not, it's ok to survive however it is possible for you.
Ketu in the 9th house:
Philosophy is natural. They find truth everywhere if only they detach. They seem "higher" than others, and seem to be enjoying it. Truth is simple and exhilirating for them. They need their freedom. They exude a sense of wander and assuredness. Don't really care about conventional morals as most people see them and have a hightly personal sense of right and wrong. Religion is very familiar to them, whatever it has been. Talk to "god" and "the divine" to feel comfort, might not realize it fully. Their faith has been tested and strengthened, and they themselves might have tested their own others' faith. Might feel like nobody will understand their exact beliefs, but understand others' beliefs. Even if they feel lonely sometimes, places of worship feel weirdly reasuring. Can become a little arrogant.
Your ideals are not too high and mighty. You know what you know, and you should know that you do. Not everyone can ground themselves in a grand and utopian place. Don't let possible arrogance blur or exaggerate it.
Ketu in the 10th house:
Legacy is inherited. The world can feel like their oyster. Even if not much is going well, they might feel supported by people in power, and usually, they are, even though they never really asked for it. Older people and those with more experience bring out their natural competence and maturity. Might come from a line of influence, usually from father's side. Easily gain aqcuaintances but feel like they have to work hard to gain and keep friends. Might feel like they have much to lose but don't worry about it. Family prince/princess, or people's prince/princess, but in a quiet way. Naturally self-possessed. Might feel chained by obligations.
There are those who will stand by you as you pull back and detach. When you go into the world, people see you, and you know how to act. You don't really care about your reputation, but it cares about you. Don't lose a good thing, embrace and enjoy it, because in that, you will find your truth and your power. That stability that is too familiar to you, it's a huge privilege.
Ketu in the 11th house:
Everyone's friend, everyone's confidante, one of the girls/boys. The gang is what they trust, but they don't look for the gang. The gang is just there. Friends flock to them and they welcome all, but friendships are private and their business. The kind of people that don't have to do anything for friends to find them. Might feel like they act like a constant chameleon to everyone but feel comfortable in that place. Can be too neutral to strangers, but become proud activists for causes that are close to their heart. Strongly unbiased and multi-faceted. Others feel relieved when they're around at gatherings. Can be very uncaring and dismissive, unless you are one of their people.
You're lucky with support. Even if friends have dissapointed you, you have gotten something valuable and worthy out if it. There are those that are your people, and those that aren't. Don't lose sight of that, but be honest with discerning who is who.
Ketu in the 12th house:
What really lights them is hidden and reserved only for them. Selfless like it's nothing. Deep and understanding, floating through life like a fish following their own current. They can gently hold your hand through harshest times but it's so subtle you'll barely realize you've been affected by them by the time it's almost done. When they get lost, they really get lost, and that's when and where find themselves. Hate to force things and know how to be humble. Private like no one else. If life gets too hollow they become a recluse. Nobody sees what depths they carry within at first, but some might suspect, by their restrained behavior, or by an innocent yet wise look in their eyes. They're not mad when they go into themselves, and no matter how much you try to get to them, if they can't, they won't hear you. But it does not matter. In their own way, they hear and see everyone, and through them, they see and hear themselves.
Oh, yes, confusion is huge and it seems overwhelming. You know how to find comfort in that. So many sides to life, so many truths. If others tell you you're deluded, do not forget that everyone is. When your sacrifice and martyrdom becomes too much, stay only with yourself once more.
#vedic astrology#astrology#nakshatras#astrology observations#sidereal astrology#astro notes#astrology tumblr#ketu#ketu in houses#south node
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Reading Anne Rice seems to be a constant cycle of: This is one of the best things I've ever read. This is one of the worst things I've ever read. I'm bored. I don't want to do anything else but read these books. Whatever. This is problematic and offends every minority that exists. Educate yourself. Get a job, stay way from that character! You're weird. You're a creep even by this genre standards. You're annoying. You should die. This is so unnecessary. Why, just why? Stop repeating yourself, you have said that same thing 954869048 times now. Get to the point! This is so exaggeratedly descriptive. This is so wonderfully descriptive. I can see it so vividly in my head and love it! It feels like I'm experiencing it myself and not in a good way, make it stop! Laughs. Cries. Chills. Depression! Autism! BPD! ADHD! Dyslexia! Everyone gets a DSM condition! And some that aren't even discovered yet! And they're all amplified by vampirism! Nobody gets medication or therapy, though! The Catholicism and Catholic guilt are heavy on those people. The existential crisis is real. Whoa there, great discussion. I can relate. I hate this POV. You're my favorite character. You're my favorite ship. These two should kiss. Okay, I get it, Armand is the most beautiful creature that has ever existed. This is poetry. Those two should NOT kiss. This is so creative and imaginative, I love it. You're contradicting yourself. Nevermind, it makes sense. I take it back, I like this character now? Okay, you're just making random stuff happen without any explanation at this point? I don't even know who is who or what's happening anymore. Reads page again. Are you okay? Please, do therapy, you certainly have a lot of things you need to work on. What the hell is wrong with you? Your brain is so... something. Added stuff because I had more thoughts lol.
#interview with the vampire#the queen of the damned#anne rice#the vampire chronicles#I take what I love and reject what I hate and make this mix of books/show/my AUs and prefer it that way
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How to make a powerful, hot vampire you still want to hug
Hi tumblr! I'm Cyrus Nemati, creative director at Little Bat Games, and a voice actor you might know from games likes Hades (I did the really secure guy and the really insecure guy).
We're closing in on the release of our debut title, Vampire Therapist, and based on tumblr's response in the past, I think you might be interested in seeing our creative process.
Andromachos is our 3000-year-old vampire mentor you'll meet early in Vampire Therapist. He's a complicated character: he was an assassin and warrior for most of his 3000 years, but a personal crisis put him on a voyage of self-discovery in the 1800s. Therapy never existed in his time, but as it developed, so did he. We needed a character who expressed wisdom and strength, but also gentleness and compassion. And of course, he's a vampire in a sexy vampire game. He needed to look like a Mediterranean dream.
This was our initial sketch of Andromachos by art director Ruth Bosch (https://x.com/rthbosch). As you can see, he's already oozing confident vampire energy, and he clearly has the wisdom of 3000 years. This is someone you want as your therapist. Vampire Therapist is a game with specific needs, and a certain lightheartedness is one of them. This Andromachos is very much grounded in reality, and just might be *too* realistically sexy.
This was @nomnomroko's first test render for Andromachos before joining the team. Right away, she understood the *figure* of Andromachos and poise of a man who has lived for 3000 years, but this was a more villainous (albeit super hot character). We toned him down shortly after, and brought back in some of the more grounded humanity from Ruth's initial sketch. You can make fan art of this version, though, we won't mind. This version might come back if we ever do a prequel!
Here's his toned down version, already much closer to the Andromachos we see in the final game. He's lost none of his power, but is already the welcoming presence we needed to have in Vampire Therapist.
Body language is also a key aspect of our game. In a game about therapy, we are mostly sitting, so the ways we can express emotion and intention are more subtle. You can already see the strength of Andromachos's character here.
Which takes us to our final rendering!
I love Andromachos. Or Andy, as more familiar folk call him. And I think you will, too. To me, he's a perfect synthesis between Ruth's initial rendering and Sybille's test that fits the comedic, warm, and very human tone of our game.
You can check out our game on Steam and GOG, and your wishlists will make algorithms happy. As you know, everything is algorithms! Help us make Vampire Therapist 2?
Steam:
And GOG:
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What is your interpretation of the blood and ladder thing? Like, did Curly really see that at the time? Is it a way to convey his anxiety? Is it how he remembers the moment?
As I see it, I'm treating it the same as Jimmy's, as their subconscious and state of mind depicted and visualized for players in a cool asf way. It's a creative and visually impactful way to tell the story, the characters' thoughts and what's going on in their mind. Therefore I'm willing to accept that it is actually something Curly 'felt' in the moment. Up to you to interpret how vivid or conscious he was of it happening, it is simply where his mind was at.
Same question can be asked about all of Jimmy's mindfuckery too, with no clear indication on whether or not, (for example) he actually thought he was being hunted by a long ass horse while searching for mouthwash for Daisuke. If we accept, that Jimmy's walk in the Polle corridor after crashing the ship was what he 'felt' while sitting on the floor head in hands, If we don't doubt, that the judgement and other encounters are something that's representing Jimmy's mind state, then I don't think there's reasons to doubt Curly's too (and vice versa). It does blur a line between in-game reality and metaphorical symbolism shenanigans tomfoolery to the player and I think that's the point. It's for the story.
The vision itself comes out as extremely foreshadowy but it's something that's been on his mind. It is Curly having an existential crisis about the career ladders that reach above the Ocean Of Blood, with him "reaching the top" and safe from drowning in it. It is Curly's subconscious screaming at him about the danger in the cockpit, how he keeps on walking "ignoring all warning signs". This sequence implies so much, especially if we assume or consider that Curly has been aware of what Anya told him for a gooood while. Anticipating the doom Jimmy will bring with him by walking into the giant star (that, by the way, locks your camera on it, unable to turn away) that is leading into the cockpit where Jimmy is seated. Because that's literally what happens, Curly walks into the cockpit and gets incinerated later, because of Jimmy and Curly's own negligence and compliance. Feeling helpless in the wake of an inescapable gravitational pull is how Curly felt (whether he actually was helpless is up to debate, but it is how he saw it). He may have know OF the dead pixel but ignored it, as the warning signs were there but kept on acting like it wasn't a big deal. Until the deadly star that grew out of it consumed him.
#something about the implications of the descent into the ocean being a jump off a bridge makes me ill#oh curly curly you useless useless man#I wanna add that this sequence feels like a parallel to jimmy and burning curly scene#jim in curly's mind an everconsuming inescapable star and curly in jim's is like just. a guy. on fire. who will take the blame for him#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#asks
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So hello! I'm sitting here stewing over the Watcher news. Like. I too, firmly believe in creators getting paid. But like, also, they have to create content people WANT to watch. I don't watch any of Steven Lim's stuff.
A lot of people have talked about it but, there's something so viscerally infuriating about watching someone eat, which is basically half of my paycheck or more on a single dish. I don't like it! I don't watch it. And the fact that they've confirmed that at least a portion of their content is going to be that moving forward means that that would be the content I'm paying for.
And I won't do it. I will go back and watch podcasts. I actually stopped listening to most of their content in favor of other channels at this point, like I swapped over a lot of the content to Simon Whistlers channels (shout out to him and his writing team) because it covers a lot of the topics that Watcher covered, but it greater detail and with the same-ish bias.
Sure. Creatives deserve to be paid for their work. But when you're asking your community, which is barely getting by, suffering record inflation and a housing crisis "please pay for our videos" the answer for a lot of them is going to be "no" because they can't afford it or don't think that the content you make is worth it.
You can make it about the righteousness of paying creators if you want, but realize, most of these people are supporting creators. I'm subscribed to about five patreons which are about the cost of Watcher. I do not value Watchers content more than these others creators I'm subscribed to currently, and will not cancel one of those subscriptions for this. And that's fine. One third of their content being unpalatable (haha) to me means it isn't worth that money.
So I'll unsubscribe. I'll watch other content and be on with it.
Edit: I'm home now and can add links for alternatives.
Decoding the Unknown > Historical Mysteries Channel, goes over things like The Bermuda Triangle, Jersey Devil, Urban Legends, etc.
The Casual Criminalist > What it says on the tin, True Crime Show, thoughtfully researched and abstains from unnecessary gore
Into the Shadows > Darker Social/Historical Topics
Biographics > Also what it says on the tin, Biographies of different people, spans all throughout history
Highlight History > Look into a variety of historical topics, unfortunately, does not have a gameshow-like element, but informative
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Catie's Big Ass bucktommy fic rec (Part One)
So I'm not gonna lie, I have most of these fics priv. bookmarked because I HAVEN'T COMMENTED ON THEM YET AND I FEEL REALLY GUILTY ABOUT THAT. But more than one anon has asked for this and it tickles me pink that y'all like my writing enough to trust in my recs. So. Please, please, be better than I am and make sure to kudos and comment if you enjoy any of these works.
(Guys, there are SO MANY amazing writers in this fandom. So many truly breathtaking fics already. I got two hours into this and realized I was going to need to split this into parts because I have too many things to say about each of these and I want to do them all justice.)
Writers you can trust in:
@rcmclachlan /ao3 : I will sing RC's praises to the moon and back. There is something about the way RC injects humor into the tiniest of lines that makes me want to scream into a pillow until I pass out. You will see more than one of RC's fics in this list.
@kirkaut /ao3: kirkaut is the reason I jumped on this bandwagon. The unhinged spiral into LFJr obsession and the prevalence of well thought out meta and incredibly hot fic drew me in. If you are not following kirkaut, change that now.
@26-cats-in-a-trenchcoat / catfud_ohplease on ao3: Devastating prose. The ability to turn a theme on a dime and STAB YOU IN THE HEART with it. Mac owns my whole soul when it comes to really scratching that itch behind my eyelids for thematic imagery and really creative ideas for fic that aren't just run-of-the-mill smut/angst/fluff.
@devirnis / ao3: Ali only has one bucktommy fic up on ao3 but it is devine and I love it. Ali is also the only writer who has tempted me into reading buddie. This is not an indictment on buddie fandom or buddie fic writers in general, I just tend to be a one ship kinda gal and I don't really dive into fic for a ship I don't vibe with. Ali's writing has made me reconsider this position.
@beefcakekinard / thingbe on ao3: The domesticity. Literally just reread one of Rose's fics this morning and HAD to comment on it again because it made me want to fling myself to Jupiter.
(This is not a comprehensive list, but I just realized how many fics I have already bookmarked for bucktommy and I'm already under a readmore.)
Fics that make my brain go brrrr:
only fools rush in - somnum365 ( @firehose118)
Tommy lets Buck set the pace. Buck is ready for something.
Super hot and all about checking in. I've got a thing for discovering sex with a partner starting out with frottage and this delivers. The characterizations are so great.
Colin Firth Thinks You're Hot - IDontGoHereEither (@herrmannhalsteadproduction)
Buck is late for a special date night with Tommy, but he still stops to help a stranger stuck on the side of the road. Luckily, that stranger is about to help HIM.
Cute as fuck with a super fun guest star. Who doesn't want Mr. Darcy to think your boyfriend is hot?
sad girl poetic thursday night - screamlet
Date night menu: pasta primavera and emotional unpacking.
There's something about the pacing of this that sent me into a tailspin. The stream of consciousness that actually bleeds from the dialogue into the action and vice versa. Hng.
I Was Only Falling In Love - Princessfbi (@princessfbi)
Tommy in crisis mode.
There's a moment in this fic where Eddie has to pull Tommy back from the precipice of something and it lives entirely rent free in my head, forever and ever amen. The firefam taking care of Buck by taking care of Tommy.
let me count the ways - ashesandhalefire
Buck and Tommy in the aftermath of a good evening are chattier than they probably reasonably should be
There is something about this fic that feels like the witching hour is upon you, like you could live in this little pocket world Buck and Tommy have created for themselves forever. The dialogue is fantastic, and the way they communicate with each other is just *chefs kiss*
let's make it cinematic - kirkaut
Tommy helps Buck deal with some of his impotent rage in the face of the Gerrard of it all.
Listen, I do not have a praise kink. This kinda makes me wish I did.
"[...]Everything is.” He circles a finger around in the air. “It’s very spinny.” - this line of dialogue came for my fucking throat.
Sick with it - Mellow_Yellow
what if in an alternate universe babyslut Buck joined the 118 when Tommy was still in his closeted asshole era and they had a torrid affair??
The way this is a little fucked up. The way the characterizations aren't exactly familiar because they haven't aged into what we know them as in current canon. The way you can see in every broken line and every stutter step that Tommy is falling for Evan and has No Fucking Idea what to do with that. Ugh. Best Met Earlier AU I've ever read.
He blinked as Tommy walked by, eyes sliding closed again before he left. He felt a light touch on the top of his head but figured he was imagining it. He couldn’t think of anyone at the 118 who would touch him that carefully. - just absolutely fucking end me they're so good/bad for each other
A Full Body Workout - Persiflager
Tommy and Buck spend a day trying to distract Eddie from the *gestures vaguely* all of it.
The way this is so quiet in the way it shows you how Tommy and Buck care for each other. The way they are down bad but still so hyperaware of the pace they've set, the things they've talked about. The way they take care of their friend here. I'm obsessed with the tone of this one. Also, as a general theme, nothing draws me in more than well thought out dialogue, and this one has some fucking GREAT dialogue.
Your love is better than ice cream - Cecily_v, liminalmemories
An alternative meet-cute, where-in Tommy doesn’t know the 118 and decides Buck is worth it anyway. Buck is confused but figures some things out.
There is so much I love about this AU. How they meet. How their relationship progresses. How it feels glacially slow in comparison to the canon storyline but also how in character they both are. The foundation of their love in this fic is downright eatable.
just couldn't fall til we met - thingbe (@beefcakekinard)
Buck and Tommy spend a quiet morning in together.
This is the one that crossed my dash earlier today and made me eat fucking glass on reread. The closeness. The way they're both so tactile. The blink and you'll miss it hints at a life being built together. Eating this UP every time I read it.
The Premium Twunk Appreciation Society, President: Tommy Kinard - everythingremainsconnected
5 times Tommy almost faints like a Victorian maiden at the sight of Buck’s flesh, and 1 time he can do something about it.
“Hey,” Evan said, shoving Eddie out of the way and filling the screen with his playful glare, “organise bro time on your own time, I’m on the phone with– with Tommy.”
“With who?” Eddie repeated. Tommy didn’t need to see his face to hear the fondness in the mocking. “Who’s on the phone? I didn’t quite catch that.”
- They are so stupid about each other in this fic, please read it and watch steam blow out your ears at how sweet and hot and down bad for each other they are.
desire (i want to turn into you) - chthonicheart
The first time Buck’s really able to bury his face between a man’s tits, he nearly cries.
pwp but with a whole heaping of character study. HOT.
rule four (you were only waiting for this moment to arise) - middyblue (daisyblaine) [@middyblue]
Tommy has doubts.
There is a general mood to this piece that feels heavy in a way I can't quite explain. There was a weight on my chest all the way through this in the BEST way possible. The way Tommy navigates his mind and struggles to trust the little slice of peace he and Buck have carved out is just mindbogglingly beautiful.
Come Fly The Friendly Skies - RC_McLachlan (@rcmclachlan)
Buck meets their rescue mission's would-be pilot and is extremely normal about it.
"Throttling is what I'm gonna do to you if you don't shut up and let the nice man steal a helicopter for us,"
WHEN I TELL YOU I AM INCANDESCENT WITH RAGE over how funny and insightful this fic is.
Every characterization is picture perfect.
Maddie gives great hugs, but she's so small; if she had this guy's build and could basically fold Buck into her like an old blanket, they'd have to pry him out of her arms with the jaws of life.
In the back of Buck's mind, in a place he hasn't discovered, he's already picked out a venue and chosen his centerpieces. He's mentally putting together seating arrangements. This line of Buck's thoughts on Tommy Kinard told me so.
Please read this and join me in trying to destroy RC with my mind (lovingly).
little by little - MediaWhore
Buck & Tommy, during and after the wedding.
There is something so soft and gentle about this fic. The way Tommy just gives in to the exhaustion and props himself up against Buck because he knows he'll be able to take the weight (he wants to take the weight and Tommy knows it). The quiet flirting, the way they take care of one another. The jumpscare of Marge and Phil and how this fic is right at the edges of exploring that but Buck has me important priorities.
“It was badly done,” - the way this is so in character for Ma Buckley and the way it made me want to SHAKE HER TIL HER TENDONS SHATTERED AND SHE CRUMBLED LIKE A SATISFYING CASINO IMPLOSION
Soft and heartbreaking and mending all at once.
while you arranged flowers - newtkelly
Buck’s got a wedding date, but as far as today goes, he’s also got a regular one.
The way I want to wrap this Buck up tenderly and hide him from the people in his life who DON'T DESERVE HIS AFFECTION, HIS LOVE, HIS JOY.
The non-urgency of this, the absolute too-much-too-soon he's dealing with in his own mind while he grapples with the reality of seizing a second chance with both hands and getting to explore himself within the confines of a very lovely, very sweet and kind, VERY HOT man he wants to get on his knees for.
Beautiful prose, excellent dialogue, an insightful character study.
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic rec#catie's babtfr#i you happen to find yourself on here and i haven't included a tumblr link lemme know#i did my best to search profiles and beg. and end notes but i know i probably missed one or two of you#thanks nonny for pointing out my misspelling of princessfbi. 'preciate you#i'm collecting your tumblr usernames like pokemon every time i come across you in the tags. jsyk
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