#I'm chewing on this topic a lot too as I go through the Scully Family In-Depth series

[randomfoggytiger]

I’ve been thinking about a lot recent that scene with young Scully and the little rabbit in the box, and how much I think it’s a defining moment for her. I think that must’ve been the moment she decided on some level to become a doctor — that desire to fix things, the demonstration of her compassion that we see so frequently in adult Scully as a little girl who wants to put a rabbit that she loves in a box for safekeeping. I also think quite frequently of how this really defines her relationship with Bill. It always seems to me that she’s trying to shield the knowledge of what she loves from her family (specifically Bill) because they don’t understand, and that knowledge may cause harm, to them or to their relationships or to her. There’s something about sequestering a desire until it’s realized that I can’t quite get at here… but it makes absolute sense to me that she clams up whenever Bill tries to confront her. For example, if she hadn’t told her family that she was considering joining the FBI until she was already enrolled in the academy I would have believed that 100%. That’s Scully. This scene and the one with Bill and Charlie and the snake communicate that she was always trying to keep up with them and shield herself from them and shield herself from them as well. She’s Catholic as well, so I’m sure that influences her beliefs and how she acts on desire and how she might voice it. She’s just so interesting! She’s so vehement about some things and then so quiet about others…

100% agree with everything you said here.

I really don't have anything to add, other than part of her behavior could stem from protection and another part from a fear of letting someone down (i.e. admitting to Karen Kosseff she needs Mulder's strength but doesn't want him to worry about her, letting Maggie fall apart at her bedside without betraying her own fear of dying, not telling Bill about her illness as a way to protect herself, etc.)

And I just remembered: for those whose canon extends into the IVF arc, she doesn't tell Mulder up front about her doctor's appointment until her hopes are crushed again, which then prompts Mulder to 'fess up about her ova. (Exactly like her actions in the cancer arc, where she had to have medical confirmation before calling Mulder to the hospital.)