#I'm an tone deaf Peeta truther

[atelierlili]

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

The title is inspired by the song with the same name by Tom Leher.

This is just a silly medieval/fantasy/dnd-kinda inspired Everlark Oneshot AU. It came to me in the daze when my kitten woke me up at 4 am. It's barely edited, but i'm just happy I actually wrote something and finished it. Lmao.

Snippet:

"Could have done us all a favour and put her on stage first," I grunt, glaring at him as he hands me my drink back. "Your wailing could land you a cozy job in the gallows. Heard Snow's been trying to find new ways to torture people. I could even put in a good word for you." 

The bard laughs, "I think so too. But my girl is stage shy so I do what I can to make her comfortable." 

A pair of travellers walks into the tavern. Wouldn’t raise much of a fuss if it weren’t for the wailing of the out of tune lute that the boy was strumming. Did the fella smash someone over the head with that thing or something? Boy must be deaf ‘cause he’s chippier than a squirrel. 

The Lass following behind him who doesn't seem to mind the noise. She’s dressed in all black, like a shadow, and carries a bow that hangs off her arm. Poor thing looks like his bodyguard. She looks good though. Small. Thin. No breasts to comment about, but there’s a hint of a tight ass there. Maybe I can convince her for some time away from this bellend she’s traveling with. I got some coin. 

I take a sip of my ale and let the booze warm my blood. A couple more glasses of these and maybe I can tune out the Lad’s annoying lute plucking. Maybe if I’m lucky someone will punch the daylights out of him. 

“Big crowd tonight! First time in the 12. And you do look like a dreary lot. I think it’s a great time for a song, don’t cha think?” 

I frown and look into the stage. Ah bugger. The bard with the detuned lute is on stage now. Who's bright idea was to give this guy an audience? 

Despite asking the crowd, the idiot begins to sing. And dammnit all, this fucking blows. I’ve heard of strangled cats that sound better than this bloke. He’s more out of tune than the fucking lute. 

All the world seems in tune On a spring afternoon When we're poisoning pigeons in the park Every Sunday you'll see My sweetheart and me As we poison the pigeons in the park

Then, over the strangled tunes of this botched siren comes out a wailing "Oh brother, this guy stinks! Get him outta here!" 

I join in on the booing. I even chortle when someone throws a full mug of ale at the bard. The Lad takes it all in good humour and bursts out into laughter. 

"What an encore!" he laughs, ducking as someone hurts a wooden fork his way. "We got one more song for tonight and - woah, good throw! - but I'll let my good friend take the stage!" 

The bard turns to his female friend, holding out his lute to her. The lass is fighting the grin on her face as she takes the lute from him and kicks him off stage. She's a pretty thing, so once she sits down, the tavern riles down. 

She teases us too. Carefully plucking and tuning the lute until it rings just right when she strums. 

Are you, are you comin' to the tree? Where they strung up a man, they say, who murdered three Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be If we met at midnight in the hanging tree

Oh. She's got a voice on her. Better than anyone I've heard around these parts. I can tell I'm not the only one to think so cause the folks around me stop and stare. And judging by the staring, I got some competition if I want to get some time with that Lass tonight. 

"Quite the songbird, isn't she?" I jump, nearly dropping my cup as the Bard slides into the seat next to me. He takes the opportunity to swipe my drink from me and take a sip. "Doesn't believe me when I tell her that the gods are envious of that pretty voice of hers." 

"Could have done us all a favour and put her on stage first," I grunt, glaring at him as he hands me my drink back. "Your wailing could land you a cozy job in the gallows. Heard Snow's been trying to find new ways to torture people. I could even put in a good word for you." 

The bard laughs, "I think so too. But my girl is stage shy so I do what I can to make her comfortable." 

I grunt and take a big chug of my ale, annoyed but not surprised at the revelation. What the Lass sees in this loser is beyond me. She could use a real man to tell her how things work. 

"Besides, this is only a side thing for us. A cover up." 

I got a brow and wet my tongue. The ale is thick and sweet on my tongue. It gives me a pleasant buzz. "So what do you do?" 

"You'll find out soon enough, Cray." 

I open my mouth to argue, but I find myself suddenly feeling sluggish. Like my arms and legs are made of lead. My tongue feels larger than it should, large enough to me to choke on it. 

My face hits the table with a thud. I can feel the cool liquid of the ale spill onto the table. Before everything goes dark, I can hear the low out of tune humming from beside me. 

Every Sunday you'll see My sweetheart and me As we poison the pigeons in the park…

"I can't believe you left me there in the tavern to fend for myself." 

I laugh at Katniss as she scowls at me, arms crossed, hip jutting out, and a foot taping furiously. 

"But you had such a big encore- a sincere one too!  I couldn't bear to ruin your spotlight to help me carry this guy out." I prove my point by kicking the Peacekeeper's shoe. He grunts and tips over like a log. 

I know I'm forgiven because Katniss reaches out and curls into my side, wrapping her arms around me. On instinct I bend down to press a small kiss against the side of her head. 

"This is the guy, right?" 

I sense Katniss looking over my shoulder and glare. She's told me stories in the quiet of the night, of what her mother did for her and her little sister Prim. What she gave up so her girls could eat. She told me of the man that preyed on her mother until there was nothing left. 

Katniss nods. 

I peel myself off of Katniss, and rummage through the Peacekeeper's pockets. There I find what we're looking for. A gold key. I hand it to Katniss, who takes it without a word. 

"Think we'll be able to find where they took Prim with this?" Katniss asks me in a small voice. 

I don't know, but I have to be strong for her. I need to give her a little hope. I give her hand a squeeze. "It's our best bet so far." 

Katniss sighs. "Well, now what are we going to do with the body?"