#I'm already saying that I played sdv just for a little bit and still don't have some places unlocked

[his-writing-blog]

Crazy for you, oh boy | Shane x Harvey

Quick tags not in tags: suicidal thoughts mentioned, getting together, mostly fluff, bit of dark humor, they were friends before that, ooc sewers

Shane stood by the Saloon's bar in his usual spot. Also as usual, he was holding a pint of beer in his arm. And in his usual manner, Shane took a sip of his drink. Usually, his mind would be plauged by the visions (getting to work at jojamarkt next day).

Yoba, how he hated that place. He wouldn't work there anymore if he had any say in it. Sadly, he needed that money. Plus, he can't just leave poor Sam alone within the land of Tartarus under the lead of Krotos (Morris).

What was unusuall tonight, was the lack of thoughts regarding his little hell. Tonight his mind was stuck in the purgatory of longing after a feeling. A feeling that he wished for harder with each gramm of the alcohol in his blood.

Shane wasn't prone to those soul minglings before being brought back from the dead at The Clinic. The sight of his momentary guardian asleep on the fucking plastic stool, leaned agains the wall, legs curled to his chest and prepped against Shane's bed frame, made the ex-alcocholic stirr something deep inside of his chest and reset in his brain. He didn't think he could go back to looking at the man the same way he did before. In seconds, Harvey got promoted from being this mystical doctor seen by Shane once when he was running late to his job, to a real person that Shane wanted to get closer to.

Shane wouldn't have known what to call his current feeling if it wasn't for the new farmer, Laura. For someone so disorganised as him, Laura could muster up some good advice when coherent enough.

"The desire to be desired. And the desire to desire that thing the same way." Laura told Shane. He stopped in his track after hearing that. And then he burst out laughing. "What? If I didn't desire to pass down my legacy and Guiliermo didn't desire to be owned by me specifically, we wouldn't have each other!" She picked up her cat up to Shane's face. The orange cat looked at him right in the eye, as if challenging him. To what, Shane had no idea. But the devil's youngling must have sensed his lack of defense and meowed loudly in victory. Shane just turned around and went back to Marnie after loosing the one sided battle. He heard the farmer's laughter goes quiet as he walked.

Closing his eyes, Shane could almost see Harvey's face staring at him fondly. His mind tried to imagine his expression change to more passionate one. Shane tried not to let his mind take control. The more thoughts of this calliber, the most likely he was to send his addictions to the bottom of the cliffs alongside with him.

He looked down at his glass, half full with a beer. It was supposed to be his first and only one tonight. But with how things were going, Shane was tempted to throw the glass across the whole local and preach the words of his soul. How he felt because of the booze. How the will feel because of the booze. How it could ruin their life as hard as it ruined his. How one drink led to another to another to another to another to another to another to anot-

Warm chocolate eyes blinked at him right before his face. Shane relaxed his grip on the glass. He pushed it towards Gus, dropped some coins on the counter and left. He ignored the looks given by the townfolks and let himself fall into the fresh breeze outside. He stood in front of the darkness that loomed over the town at the edge of the forest. Without any more thought, he let himself be swallowed by it. It wasn't long before his eyes got used to the lack of the warm radiation of laps lit up around the town. The sky was truely one of the main reasons why Shane didn't get with his plans. Constelations of unwandered paths streched right above his small and meaningless life. Glittering and saying that maybe it was worth being there even if just to marvel at their beauty for a fleeting moment.

Shane wandered around the forest, his gaze lost in the stars, mind still by the fond eyes it couldn't bare to leave behind. He didn't know how long he was out there untill he saw the edge of the cliffs. Instead of heading acrossthe grass, Shane followed the overgrown path. It led to a narrow stairs that led to the large pipe that finished (or started?) the maze of sewer canals spread under the town. Drunk Shane liked to joked that it was an underground mirror reflecting the spiralls and labirynths made by stars. As if an artist scribbled down the unseen paths between stars and the pages landed on the desk of a rough engineer who tried and failed to recreate their grace.

As Shane marveled upon the genius of the cosmic blueprint, a quiet song was to be heard. He looked around, trying to find its source. After seeing nobody at the forest's clearing and no soul on the beach below, Shane was sure that it was coming from inside the pipe. His body tensed up, ready to initiate a fight or flight revalation at whatever might come from the sewer. The thing is, Shane would be nothing wothout his brain. And his brain, soothed by the strange melody, didn't want to response accordingly. So he sat at the top of the stairs, entranced by how sweet the sounds were. He was almost lulled to sleep by it when he started to sway to the rythm lightly. He got startled when he heart someone sing along the tune. What shocked him more was the fact that the voice was coming from his mouth. The words to the song came to him with a blink of an eye. Shane let himself be taken by the melody's current. And with a small smile on his lips, he sang.

"Harvey, nobody knows what I see."

[thebluester2020]

can't tell if requests are open, but can you do sdv bachelors reactions to female farmer with a GYATT 😼💪🏽

Summary: Bachelors reacting to a farmer with a crazy shelf. Warning(s): Crack, Fluff, Some 18+ NSFW + Suggestiveness. Side note(s): My req(s) are always open ngl. I just take forever to get to stuff tbh 😭

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Elliot

[Pre-Relationship]

Ngl, he really wouldn't know what to do with himself. Especially when he first meets you.

I'm more than certain he'll be respectful and won't make it super obvious that he's looking but I wanna reference that one scene from Smiling Friends where Pim is struggling not to look at this one guy while a mosquito is sucking on his eye.

You wanna look (it's fucking killing you to keep your eyes down) but god, it would feel so good to just look for more than a few seconds.

And don't get me started if he accidentally brushes up against it while you two are close next to each other (say like- a busy tavern).

He's jerking off the second he gets home.

[Established Relationship]

When you two are dating, however, Elliot will still be respectful but he'll allow himself to touch you more often (as well as look).

But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he won't be extremely blatant in regards to your ass but will more so show it.

Wearing dress? All of a sudden he's behind you and admiring your figure by placing a hand just above your butt, even going so far as to rub small circles into your back as a sign that he could and wants to go lower (you have to repeatedly tell him its okay to touch you more intimately).

If you're wearing shorts? I think he's definitely had more than a few moments where he's spat out his tea (or nearly choked on something) when you suddenly bend down in front of him to pick something up.

He also had some moments where he's taken you at random just because his hard-on is too much to bear from seeing you walk around all day being thick with no consequences.

All in all though?

Definitely an ass man <3

Sebastian

[Pre-Relationship]

To start this off, I will literally fight anyone when I say- Sebastion is a boob man and no one can change my mind.

With that being said-

Just because the man has preferences doesn't mean he's going to sit and deny you have junk in the trunk.

So I like to think that before you guys are dating, he sees the crazy shelf but he's not going wild and rocking a hard-on just from spotting it once.

It's more of a- "Damn, farmer's got that ass" and he moves on.

Ngl, he will think about how it feels from time to time though

[Established Relationship]

Now, once you two start dating. It's an entirely different ballgame after that.

He's touching your ass any chance he gets.

When you two fuck? All of a sudden he prefers positions where your ass is the center of attention.

When munch mode is activated. He'll gladly eat it from the back.

But I think his favorite part of you having a crazy shelf? It would probably be when you two are cuddling tbh.

It's super soft to the touch and kinda like a stress ball so when you two are relaxing together, he kinda just...squeezes it. It would happen so often that where you don't really pay attention to it anymore.

If you're sitting on his lap while he's working on his computer or playing video games, he's going to grab it.

If you're laying on top of him in his bed, guess what?

You guessed it, he's grabbing it.

Sam

[Pre-Relationship]

If you've followed my blog for a little bit. You probably already know how this is going to go with Sam-

Perv Mode is online

When he sees you for the first time, and you turn around. Sam's eyes would nearly bulge out of his head.

But similarly to Elliot, he'll be respectful in the sense that he doesn't want to creep you out or make him think that he's some type of pervert.

However, once he gets home that night?

Definitely jerking it, maybe even watching a couple videos on his phone with a girl that looks suspiciously like you.

But on the flip side, each time he sees you or you decide to visit his house with a gift for him. He'll blush like a sinner in church each and every time.

[Established Relationship]

He becomes touchy to the max.

Like I'm talking that his hand is on your body (mostly your ass) ninety percent of the time.

However, hear me out on this one, I don't think he'd really care about the sex part per se? (Not that I'm saying he doesn't like positions where he can see it jiggle at maximum efficiency)

Sam would be more of a fan of the clothing, to be honest.

Tight dresses, shorts that just barely cover the underside of your butt etc.

Those are what really get him off 'cause it's teasing for him. The anticipation of being able to feel all up on you as soon as you're finished with your errands from the day and you're back inside your shared farmhouse.

Side headcanon though; I'm a firm believer that Sam would be a huge fan of you teasing him by rubbing your ass over his crotch over his clothes. Just saying.

Alex

[Pre-Relationship]

Okay so Alex is yet another guy that I think is a boob man but, ass is ass and he's not going to deny you've got that gyatt.

But I do also believe that he make it more obvious where his eyes are going when you're around him?

Like if you're talking to someone in a crowd and he's around, he's not going to hide that his eyes are landing on your butt.

And if you're close by his side, his hand will practically be twitching for a teensy feel.

Ultimately though, he'll keep his hands to himself.

[Established Relationship]

King of Backshots.

I know I just said he's a certified boob man but once again, he's not going to lie that you have a fattie.

So with that being said, his preferred positions? They're in a wide variety (when he's not preferring a mating press so he has a good view of your boobs ofc)

Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Prone-boning. If your ass is the center of attention then he's going it.

Also I headcanon that if he was on a professional Gritball team then he would definitely brag to his teammates about his partner who has a fat ass.

Low-key I think he'd be open to sharing you ngl. But he's the only one who gets to cum inside you.

Harvey

[Pre-Relationship]

The most respectful man on this list.

If you have a crazy shelf of an ass then ofc he'll see it but he won't see it.

He'll keep his eyes up and to your face the entire time.

Hell, I don't think he'll even dare to let his eyes wander a little out of respect for a potential patient.

That being said, once he's off the clock. He'll probably have flashbacks to you here and there.

[Established Relationship]

Even when he's got you locked in, he's still respectful.

Similar to Sebastion though, I think him being touchy with your butt is going to mostly be reserved for cuddling sessions and when y'all are having sex.

But hear me out on this one in regards to that, while I do believe he'll be a fan of positions where he sees it jiggle.

I think he's more of a fan of positions where he can more so feel it closer to him. Say like spooning sex and other positions that require you to be really close to him.

Then again, Harvey strikes me as that one meme of "My favorite position is seeing you happy" so there's that <33.

Shane

[Pre-Relationship]

I think this man nearly spits out his drink when he first spots you.

Like- no shame to my SDV men/women (except my queen Haley, she'll always be thicc as hell in my head) but I don't think many of them would appeal to Shane aside from Emily??

So when the farmer rolls into the valley, thick as hell. I think Shane develops a low-key crush the second he sees you.

But here's the thing, he wouldn't think of you inappropriately cause he's thinking "Oh, they'd never be into me. There are more appealing people here than me."

So any temptations he has to masturbate to the thought of you? They're quickly snuffed out by those thoughts.

However, that doesn't mean those urges don't pop up frequently every time you decide to visit him in shorts that hug tightly around your thighs.

Or when you wear a sundress that makes him do a cartoon gulp.

Little did he know you were wearing those on purpose.

[Established Relationship]

When you two start dating? Oh boy, prepare yourself.

It's like a volcano erupting basically. Everything he's held himself back from doing, everything he's wanted to do to/with you?

He's trying to do it all immediately to make up for lost time.

From plowing you against the back of your farmhouse, the slaps of your ass against his pelvis sounding wayyyy better in reality than what they did when the thought would flash through his head.

Or maybe even fucking you into the bedsheets!

The world is his oyster now <3.

And he's just glad that he has his fat-assed lover by his side to do everything with now.

[marvelous-goose]

what is canon: they're all at least 18, probably in the 18-25 range, but elliott, harvey, & shane are significantly older, in their late twenties or early thirties.

however, this gives me the perfect opportunity to share all of my personal hot takes on sdv bachelor ages, and i'm not one to turn down the chance to voice my opinion. (under the cut because i'm not an asshole and this is gonna get long. also spoilers for like, ALL of their heart events & backstories.)

sam: like 18-19. do i need to explain? (i will, just give me a second.)

penny: also 18-19. now, i hear you saying, "but she's so mature! she has to be older, probably in her early-mid twenties!" counterpoint: her "maturity" isn't the kind you accumulate through lived experience, but the kind you develop after being forced to grow up too fast. she has anxiety! of course she's gonna be hyper-mature and polite!! like i find the parallels between penny and sam so fascinating -- they both have absent fathers, but while jodi responded to kent's absence by babying sam and cultivating in him (whether intentionally or not) a childish immaturity and disregard for authority, pam responded to her husband leaving her by falling into addiction and depression, forcing penny to take on all the basic household chores from a young age. also, if you interpret her as being much older than sam, it doesn't make sense that the two of them are paired together for the flower dance. with the exception of emily & shane (who are paired together because they were added as love interests in an update after the game had already come out) all of the dance pairs are foils to some regard, and i take that into consideration when interpreting the characters' ages.

haley: 19-20. i don't have any deep analytical takes for this -- she feels older than sam & penny, but not by much, and since she doesn't hang out in the saloon, i don't think she'd be 21 yet.

alex: he is EXACTLY 20. it's been just long enough since he graduated from high school that playing gridball professionally is a bit of a long shot, but not long enough that he's forgotten how cool he used to be. he gives me very "peaked in high school but hasn't sunk too low yet" vibes. he also doesn't hang out in the saloon, and i think he and haley would have been in the same grade in school.

abigail: 21-22. she spends time in the saloon with sebastian and sam on weekends (i will talk more about sam & how he fits in with abigail & sebastian later), but she's also still in college and feels the need to rebel against her family.

maru: 20-21. this has less to do with her vibes and more to do with her relationships to other bachelors. first, she's friends with penny, and i don't think they'd be too far apart in age; however, she also is friends with harvey, who is canonically a bit sweet on her at the start of the game (and if you don't romance either of them). she can't be too young, but she can't be too old. and THEN you have to take into account sebastian -- he's canonically at least a few years older than her, old enough to remember a time before robin & demetrius got married. so the safest bet i have is that she's around 21-ish, but this is the one i'm the most wishy-washy about. i could see her being 22-23, but i'm pretty committed to the age gap between her and sebastian.

sebastian: 23, maybe 24. he's a fairly successful freelance computer person (??) and he has to be at least 3 years older than maru for their dynamic to make sense. however, he can't be too old, or his friendship with sam stops making sense. like the vibe i get from sam & his friendship with abigail and sebastian is definitely "we grew up in the same neighborhood and i'm significantly younger than both of you, but not so young that it would be weird for us to play together." i had a tough time with sebastian-abigail-sam until i remembered that my little brother is friends with the neighbor's kid, who's at least 3-4 years younger than him. so 23 seems to be a safe bet.

now, all of these bachelors i think attended high school around the same time. when sebastian was a senior, penny & sam were freshmen, maru, haley, & alex sophomores, abigail a junior, etc. i think of them as their own unit & the rest of the bachelors as existing outside of that unit. (maybe that's just me tho idk)

leah: 24. she's young enough not to be an "older" bachelor, but old enough to have lived for at least a year with a long-term significant other. also, she can't be too young, or her friendship/mild romantic tension with elliott early in the game (or if you don't romance either of them) doesn't make sense.

emily: 25, maybe 26? i don't get the feeling that she attended high school at the same time as the others, and i definitely feel like she was haley's weird sister who embarrassed her a lot. waiting at the bus stop with her weird outfits and shit. she just feels older than the rest of the female bachelors.

shane: hot take, i think he's 29. he looks and feels older because of his severe mental health issues and disgruntled vibes, but i don't actually think he's really that old. also the "oh god i'm gonna be 30" crisis just feels so RIGHT for him.

elliott: like 27? ish? i have a hard time vibe-checking elliott but he just feels 27 to me. either that or he's 33 and there's no in between.

harvey: 30-31. he did med school and had a career before coming to pelican town, and he's old enough to start worrying about his health, but he's not exactly decrepit lol. also can we talk about how it's implied that the reason harvey gave up his successful practice in the city and came to pelican town is because a patient almost died on the table in front of him and he couldn't handle the stress after that??? excuse me???

so like. how old are all the dateable characters in Stardew Valley? Because some of them have jobs and some of them just stand around talking about how they played football in high school (where?? there isn’t a school here, the kids are learning by going to the museum/library) and how their parents are annoying