#I'm actually taking a break from writing and baking dinner right now

[antinitoniny]

anton as your affectionate bf: headcanons

this is so long help + it’s organized in sections 😁😁

💭 anton x fem!reader

💭 texts in pink: oc, texts in blue: anton

💭 fluff fluff fluff (and crack)

physical touch

- anton might be the humanized version of ‘physical touch.’

- hand always on ur back or around ur hips

- top of the head kisses

- fixing ur necklace or hair while you’re talking

- as long as you’re in the same room, anton can’t last a minute without physical contact.

- anton’s hand will always be on ur hip or around ur waist.

- he’s backhugging u like 30% of the day

- morning kisses. barely awake kisses.

- tracing anton’s nose while he’s sleeping (he’s actually awake so he’s giggling w his eyes closed)

- “TON I LOVE U BUT IT’S SO HOT. STOP HUGGING ME” “are we breaking up”

- waking up w his leg on you, his face nuzzled on ur neck, and his hand placed light on ur head — it’s a heavy morning.

- “can i bite you?” */stares at anton for 5mins* “is that a yes”

- imagine being against pda while dating a guy who'd tear up if you sit on the other side of the table at dinner? yea, anton.

- fav kissing spot: anton’s nose

- his fav kissing spot: */his nose bled while trying to answer the question

- you guys would last for 5hrs on the couch in silence as long as anton’s wrapped around you

down bad anton

- when he’s talking about his day but you’re rlly focused on what he’s saying so he got flustered all of a sudden “stop staring at me, you’re making me nervous” — “YOU’RE telling a story, where else am i supposed to look at?”

- suddenly smiling from ear to ear during breakfast because “1 year ago, i just thought you’re really nice to me and now i’m eating breakfast with you in our shared apartment” */insert anton giggles (and grumpy you ‘coz u js woke up & he’s talking non sense)

- smiling from ear to ear whenever he hears ur name in his group of friends. (would result to 1hr of anton yapping about how cute you were yesterday and the day before that, and two weeks ago)

- anton buying matching EVERYTHING. and giving them to you with a shy smile.

- matching rings, matching trinkets, matching bracelets, matching phone cases— told u, everything.

- “why are you hugging me all of a sudden?” “you’re the cutest i adore you so much” (you’re just eating bread)

- “hi, can we date with the intention of marrying you & having pets as many as you want”, “anton, we’ve been together for almost two years”, “oh, i thought i was being delusional”

- even on casual days, anton would send his newly made playlists for you.

- "i'm gonna take a nap" "okay, me too" "are you sleepy?" "no" "then why..?" "i wanna take a nap with you"

- anton taking care of you when you're sick. and you always feel bad. "baby, sleep somewhere elsee. you'll catch my fever" "i can't sleep without you next to me"

- "have i told you that i love you?" - anton says while eating dinner.

- anton having five story highlights with just you

- anton using a photo of the two of you as his profile photo in every social media platform.

- has two pouches of things that you MIGHT need in his everyday bag (thats why his bags r always gigantic)

- anton's really expressive. he's expressive but would get shy right after saying that he loves you.

cute stuff

- "they're cute, they're just like us" - anton w every single couple in a romance movie

- anton learning how to cook your favorite foods & baking ur fav pastries at home

- would always be on a facetime w u even in social events (he can’t function w/o seeing u)

- anton massaging u after a long week !!!

- handwritten notes :(

- anton writing post-its and sticking it on ur forehead while you’re sleeping whenever he has to leave early in the morning

- anton writing DETAILED handwritten letters for you every monthsary to tell u his favorite moments w u that month, to tell u that he’s proud of u for every single thing that u’ve done that month. he’s such a words of affirmation guy.

- anton not ordering a lot because he knows that u get full easily so he’ll get to eat ur leftovers anyway

- but anton would always make sure that you’ll eat A LOT. that’s why he’ll research a lot about the restaurant menus that you’ll eat in.

- anton brushing your hair every night

- anton letting you style his hair (once went to work w pigtails)

- reading together (and anton falling asleep on ur shoulder right after one chapter)

- SUNDAY RESET IS ANTON’S FAVORITE DAY !!! the everything shower, doing each other’s nails, cooking together, eating a homemade fancy dinner with candles, talking about your week, and ending the day with wearing couple face masks while watching a 2000s romcom movie.

- anton going with you to ur nail appointment and him sitting next to you for 2 hours.

- anton’s closet is basicslly your closet, and your closet is basically anton’s.

- you wearing anton’s clothes & anton wearing your watches and accessories in a daily basis

- gazing at each other in the midst of the crowd, exchanging warmest smiles

- anton running to you to carry you in a hug

- you mentioning that you like this specific cake ONCE in a casual conversation and anton buying it for you every night.

- “did you hear something?” “BABY STOP SCARING ME”

- when you wanna wear something revealing but you asked anton first so now he doesn’t know if he’ll be mesmerized with you or he’ll be offended that you think he won’t let you wear that

- anton waiting for you to come home til midnight because he wants to have dinner with you (it’s 12am)

- anton carrying your handbag / shoulder bag as if it’s his bag.

soft spots

- arguments w antons barely happen but when it does, it often ends almost immediately.

- anton’s always the one to apologize first. even though you’re at fault, anton makes sure to talk to you without making you feel invalidated.

- anton’s definitely a date to marry guy. which is why during deep talks, he’s always talking about the future with you.

- anton finding you crying. he won’t ask why, he’ll just hug you warmly til you feel better. once you’re feeling better, he’ll buy u guys pints of ice cream and watch your comfort movie in silence and in each other’s arms.

- imagine anton’s soft voice welcoming you home after a tiring day. "how was your day, my love?" anton asks, carrying your bag, gently pulling you to the couch so he can massage your shoulders while you spend 2 hours talking about your day.

- mornings with anton are always so warm. you're cooking your breakfast while anton's just hugging you from the back. his face buried at the side of your neck, while talking casually about your plans for that day.

[cryoculus]

— guard dog 01 ⟢

pairing: thoma x assassin!reader

summary: you’re a skilled mercenary who takes odd jobs all around inazuma to make ends meet. so when the shogunate hires you to assassinate the lady of the kamisato clan, you don’t think much of it. that’s until you grossly miscalculate how good of a guard dog her chief retainer actually is.

word count: 5.5k words

notable characters: thoma, kamisato ayaka

tags: found family, enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, eventual smut

warnings: drugging attempts, assassination attempts

notes: i'll be posting chapters one to thirteen everyday at double intervals! this is one of the fics i'm immensely proud of writing, so i hope you like it hehe :')

header art cr: n0yunn on twt

masterlist

You’ve always wondered what the Kamisatos of old had been thinking when they decided to build a mansion by the cliffs of Mount Yougou. 

First, you’d either have to make the trek up the mountain or navigate your way through Chinju Forest. The locals of Narukami Island already regarded that place warily—with all the talk about bake-danuki kidnapping lost children in the cover of night, never to be seen again.

And then there was the sudden drop all the way to the rocky shores of the coastline below. One wrong move, and you might just find yourself dead on the beach if you carelessly traipse around the edges of the property. 

But you knew, more than most, that the natural terrain wasn’t what made the Kamisato Estate so difficult to breach. 

The guards of the Yashiro Commission were stationed uniformly across the area—looking intimidating enough to send any amateur thief packing. One could tell from a glance that these guys had years of training under their belts.

After all, they were guarding one of the three noble households in Inazuma. But it’s not like anyone who knew about Kamisato clan and its retainers was stupid enough to cross them like that. 

Unless, of course, they were you.  

A flock of birds flew overhead from your vantage point, momentarily distracting you from the task at hand. It was nearing sundown again, and the princess should be tending to the sand gardens right about—

“Now,” you whispered, biting down on a lavender melon as you watched the scene unfold. 

Normally, scouting your targets from a perch so high up was impossible. But your employers were generous enough to supply you with a pair of binoculars for the job. You were never one to tinker with any Fontainian contraption imported into the country, but if it works, it works.

Now here you were, hidden away in one of the slated slopes of the mountain as Kamisato Ayaka stepped out into the foyer to admire the scenic view. 

She strode gracefully into the garden, rake in hand before gazing out into the open sea. The waning sunlight glittered across the surface in warm tones, and you would have been mesmerized too, if the circumstances had been any different.

Still, this was a sight Ayaka saw everyday, and the princess spared no time soaking up the scenery longer than she had to. 

This was your seventh day of lying in wait—familiarizing yourself with each person who went in and out of the estate at all hours of the day. Where they went, what they did, who they spoke to.

Well, not really. Even a dedicated mercenary like you had to take some breaks in-between. But one week was enough for you to memorize the daily habits of the Yashiro Commission. 

A greenhorn would never have noticed the way they loosened security in the first hour of twilight. Only five guards out of the original ten stationed outside would remain, and the others would be invited to eat dinner inside the pavilion.

After twenty or-so minutes, they would switch with the guards that stayed behind—rinse and repeat. 

During this momentary give in their defenses, though, Ayaka would trace circles into the sand garden in quiet meditation.

Vulnerable. Exposed.

If you decided to take her out with a bow and arrow, gravity would favor you in more ways than one. But you were a shit archer at best, and there was…something else that threw a wrench in your plans. A wildcard in your weeklong observation period that you just couldn’t pin down no matter how many alternatives you tried to come up with. 

The lavender melon turned bitter in your mouth once you caught sight of him.

Thoma was someone that’s very hard to miss. You’ve seen him a couple of times around Ritou—all golden hair and swindling smiles—but you never once dared to make his acquaintance. Fixers were crafty people by nature, and you’d rather not get outfoxed by someone like him by any means.

In fact, your constant avoidance was finally bearing fruit now that you’ve been entrusted with the assassination of Kamisato Ayaka. 

But while everyone else in the Yashiro Commission stuck with their day-to-day routines faithfully, Thoma seemed like he always just acted on a whim. That man had no concept of routine at all.

Unlike Ayaka who committed herself to her own schedule without fail, Thoma was someone who did something different everyday. 

In hindsight, it was expected. He was an undercover fixer—of course his daily to-do list wasn’t patterned the same way as everyone else’s. 

The other day, Thoma left the estate at the crack of dawn only to come back a few hours after midnight.

Yesterday, he leveled the hedges as he watched Ayaka practice her swordsmanship in the courtyard.

And now, after bidding a few words in farewell to his charge, he was walking out of the estate with a carefree hint to his strides. If you drew any closer, you might even hear him whistling. 

Case in point: this wasn’t the first time you were hired to kill a noble. It was, however, the first time you’ve had to deal with a variable that’s as unpredictable as Thoma.

You watched him take the path that led to Chinju Forest through your binoculars—tossing the stem of your lavender melon to the side. He was probably headed to Inazuma City from the looks of it.

Patiently, you waited until Thoma’s form disappeared into the mist before heaving a long sigh in relief.

Now that he was out of the way, you could afford some room to think.

Admittedly, you weren’t sure why the shogunate even contacted someone like you to carry this out. You were nothing but a lone swordswoman who took on odd jobs to make ends meet. Killing other people for money wasn’t exactly above your moral compass, but could your feats be impressive enough for the Tenryou Commission to seek you out personally? 

“Kill the girl and make it seem as if the Sangonomiya rebels were behind it,” said Kujou Masahito, the night he and his men found you. “We’ve been in a stalemate long enough.” 

It was a tall order, now that you thought about it. What person in their right mind would accept a mission to: one, infiltrate the Kamisato estate; two, murder the lady of the house; and three, frame the resistance for the act? Sure, the Tenryou Commission practically offered you millions of mora in exchange, but was all that really worth risking your neck for?

However, asking questions wasn’t something you did with your clients. Whoever they were, whatever their motives, so long as they came to you, offering the right price, you would see the job done.

Your discretion has always made you quite the favorite in the Inazuman underworld, and you’d prefer if things stayed that way.

Rising from your aching haunches, you shoved the binoculars into a knapsack. You then cast the estate below a sidelong glance. The sun had long set, and a slew of yellow lanterns lit up the courtyard.

You could see Ayaka being escorted back inside the house by one of her attendants, possibly to join her brother for dinner as well. You paid it no mind. 

You’ll allow her some last moments of serenity before putting an end to her life.

About two hours before midnight, you descended from your perch—ducking behind trees while skilfully evading the guards’ line of sight. You quietened your footsteps as you approached the building in which the estate’s denizens resided. 

There was no need for you to draw this close, as you’ve already gleaned most of what you needed to know from a distance, but… 

It was about time for the princess’ nightly routine. An elegant dance performed beneath the moonlight—with her signature fan scattering white snowflakes in the height of summer.

You’ve heard about the Shirasagi Himegimi’s mesmerizing performances in passing. How she was always the star of every cultural festival in Amakame Island.

You were only human, so you were naturally inclined to be curious. And it’s not as if seeing her dance in the moonlit foyer will derail your plans. 

But you’d been a few minutes too late, it seemed. Because now, Ayaka was seated by the edge of the pavilion, gazing silently at the clear sky above. In her hands was a teacup patterned with herons in flight—one of her favorite pieces. 

To a normal onlooker (A.K.A., anyone who didn’t spend seven days deliberately stalking her), Ayaka didn’t seem the type to drink tea all by herself. She had an entire Commission’s worth of company, and she could always ask one of her retainers to sit down and nurse a few drinks with her.

But you’ve come to realize that the princess was someone who didn’t like disturbing others—regardless of how minimal the disturbance might be. 

Kamisato Ayato took charge of the political dabblings of the Yashiro Commission. Kamisato Ayaka was the face of the clan; the heart of the people; adored by each and every person who knew her by name.

But…why did she look so lonely?

“Milady, you shouldn’t be staying up so late.”

The sound of Thoma’s voice made you seize up like a cat tossed into a basin of water—making you reflexively duck behind the rigid walls on the side of the house. There were no lanterns on this side of the estate, so the darkness should be able to conceal you well enough.

“I was waiting for you to return,” Ayaka admitted aloud, the sound of her sandals scraping against the stone-littered path ringing in your ears. “I…I would have had a hard time falling asleep either way—knowing not everyone is safely back in the mansion at this hour.”

You arched an eyebrow but continued listening in.

“Oh?” There’s a hint of amusement in Thoma’s tone. “Even if I specifically informed you earlier that I might not be back until tomorrow noon, you still waited? Milady, you honor me, but I can’t continue imposing such—”

“You’re not imposing,” Ayaka sighed, and it’s the first time you've heard her sound so…exasperated. But then again, Ayaka was only ever this animated in the company of her chief retainer. “As one of the leaders of the Yashiro Commission, it’s my responsibility to ensure the well-being of my retainers.”

“Isn’t it the other way around, though?” Thoma laughed, and you got the impression that you were intruding on something you weren’t supposed to. (A little too late to have those sentiments now, but you still had some integrity, at least.) “Well, I know there’s no changing your mind when it is already set, milady. How about we pair your evening tea with some sakura mochi I brought from the Teahouse?” 

A pause. “You’re going to tell me what you were doing in Inazuma City, yes?”

“It would be a disservice not to.”

Knowing you’d already lingered for too long, you fled the scene—silently backing away until you heard a loud crunch echoing into the evening air. You jolted, cursing under your breath when you realized you’d stepped on a damn twig—!

“Thoma? What’s wrong?”

Then, footsteps—accompanied by the sound of the chief retainer’s accessories jingling on his person. You ducked behind an unsuspecting aralia tree, but right in front of you was a sheer drop into the ocean. Archons damn it. You hadn’t realized how close you were to the edge of the cliff. 

Instinctively, you pressed your back further against the tree bark, wondering what the hell Thoma was even doing here when he supposedly had business to attend to in the city. 

“It’s nothing, milady,” he sighed, and you felt your shoulders sag with relief as you heard his voice draw further away. “Just thought I’d heard something.”

“You must be tired if you’re starting to hear things.”

Not waiting for Thoma to come up with a response, you made your timely escape. 

Somewhere down the deeper corners of Chinju Forest was an abandoned shrine. It was on the smaller side—the ornamental roof layered with thick moss, and the talismans having faded with age. You hadn’t the slightest clue which deity it was dedicated to, but it was for that reason that you declared it your designated territory of sorts. 

There, you took out a shovel from your knapsack before digging a hole into the ground. It was safer to leave what little belongings you had where no people could even begin to look. And you’d rather not be carrying all your possessions when you’re about to infiltrate a mansion.

Once you’re satisfied with the depth, you began to rummage through the bag. You only took what was strictly needed—a pouch of powdered crystal marrow and a lone dark feather.

Mora and weapons wouldn’t be necessary if you did the job properly, which you will. But before you could turn around to shovel the unearthed soil back in place, you twisted the feather in your fingers. 

This was the item that secured your agreement to the Tenryou Commission’s outlandish request. Kujou Sara was known to be a fierce warrior on the battlefield, so if Masahito managed to procure one of her feathers and give it to you, it was the real deal.

The shogunate really was out to tip the scales and launch the country into a civil war. 

However, the feather was also a contingency plan of sorts.

“If you foresee yourself being unable to complete the mission, burn it and we’ll send someone to come to your aid,” Masahito informed, and while you were grateful for the possible fallback, you wondered if burning it rendered your reward money null and void. You didn’t ask, nor did he elaborate.

It was normal to have your reservations about this. After all, you could very much go down in the history books as the match that ignited the bloodiest war in Inazuma. But you never really cared much for appearances. Not now, not ever.

Once you accept a job, you’ll see it through until the end. 

“H-Help, please… Help.”

The guards were quick to act once you emerged from the forest the following day—bloody and beaten and quivering in your boots. One of them managed to catch you before you could fully collapse to the ground, and he immediately barked orders to prepare a room and call a healer. 

Faking your identity to mislead victims was a trick you picked up from an old acquaintance. The acting that went into the entire charade was as troublesome as it sounded, but you weren’t exactly given many cards to play here.

Hell, even the method you’d decided to assassinate Ayaka with was far from your usual. But you didn’t build a reputation for yourself by cutting corners and half-assing your jobs, that’s for sure. 

Of all the members of the Tri-Commission, the Yashiro Commission was the most impartial. They had the hearts of the people of Inazuma, and the Kamisato clan collectively cared for them in return.

Whether you’re a rebel or a shogunate officer, if you turned up half-dead on their doorstep, it was ingrained in their principles to take you in. That kindness, however, was a double-edged sword.

They’d just invited a murderer into the heart of their stronghold. 

However, their retainers weren’t complete idiots. Before rushing you into a room to get your injuries tended to, a due interrogation was conducted. (Who are you? Where did you come from? What happened?)

All their questions, you answered with a somewhat convincing act—you’re woozy from the “blood loss”, unable to respond coherently, drifting in and out of consciousness. But they could glean from your tattered maroon disguise uniform that you were part of the resistance. 

“She probably tried to infiltrate the Kujou Encampment,” suggested one of the female attendants. “Both sides are growing more and more desperate each day… Should we inform Lady Ayaka and Lord Ayato?”

The proposal was met with a grunt from a man you recognized as Madarame Hyakubei. “Lord Ayato requested for us not to disturb him today, and Lady Ayaka is resting for the afternoon. Granted, Master Thoma didn’t say when he’ll return either so I suggest we keep this under wraps for now.”

Keep this under wraps. Yeah, that definitely worked in your favor.

With a silent, unanimous agreement, the rest of the guards left you in the hands of their resident healer—a meek woman who introduced herself as Hina.

You knew better than to respond to any of her inquiries, so you continued masquerading your own deliriousness as she patched up your self-inflicted wounds. Hina didn’t linger longer than she had to, and once you stopped fake-moaning in pain, she eventually got up and resumed whatever task your arrival had rudely interrupted.

There were still some curious attendants sneaking glances into the room they’d put you in, though—whispering amongst themselves in hushed tones. Thankfully, those gossiping girls went about their own business sometime later, and you’re left completely alone. 

You couldn’t really do much in your current state. The people around the mansion were led to believe that you’ve been gravely injured. It would definitely raise suspicions if anyone saw you tiptoeing around the house, so you bide your time.

You’ve waited an entire week to put your plans into motion, what’s a few hours more?

When night fell, you expected one of the attendants to bring you dinner—if the Yashiro Commission’s extensive hospitality was anything to go by.

The anticipation might have also been fueled by the fact that it’s been days since you’ve eaten a proper meal. Whenever the guards outside ate altogether in the pavilion, the food prepared for them looked so appetizing. You couldn’t really blame yourself for pondering what they’ll serve you.

But the person who emerged into the room a few minutes later was the last one you’d expected to come.

“L-Lady Kamisato,” you stammered, sitting upright to bow your head. “It’s an honor. Please don’t trouble yourself with this…” 

Ayaka flashed you a gentle smile, kneeling on the tatami to set the tray of food on your bedside. “It’s only proper that I see our guest with a warm welcome. You must be feeling better now that you can speak to me. My retainers said you were practically unintelligible earlier.”

Fuck. You broke character.

Swallowing thickly, you managed a dry laugh. “Your healer was amazing, miss. I didn’t think I would make it through the day, actually…” 

She nodded in understanding, a grim look suddenly crossing her pristine features. “I see. You’re one of the Sangonomiya rebels, aren’t you? May I ask what you’re doing all the way here on Narukami Island?” 

You purposely let your shoulders sag in a false show of emotion. “I…was sent for an espionage mission, but I got hunted down by the shogun’s lap dogs. Thanks to you, though, I’m still in one piece.”

“I had no part in your recovery. It’s all the work of my retainers,” Ayaka clarified with that same, unwavering smile. She gestured for you to take the food she’d brought. “Go on. I’m sure you’re hungry, so you better eat something.”

You were gladly about to indulge in her offer before—

“Milaaaady,” drawled an obnoxiously loud voice coming from the halls. And when a head of golden hair poked itself into the room, you felt your appetite vanishing in a puff of smoke. “Why’d you leave me in the kitchen? I can’t look after you if you’re going around without me, you know?”

There he was—the wild card that constantly threw your plans into disarray. 

“Thoma, don’t be too loud. She’s still resting,” Ayaka chided as he knelt beside her on your bedside. “This is Thoma, the chief retainer of the Kamisato clan. He normally isn’t this noisy, so I hope you forgive him.”

No introduction needed, thank you very much, you wanted to say, but kept your mouth rightfully shut. Instead, you met Thoma’s green-eyed gaze as you tilted your head in a curt bow. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” he chuckled before folding his arms together. “I believe I haven’t caught your name yet…” 

A name. Right. You had to give them a name—not your real name, of course. You weren’t that overconfident. 

“Kira,” you spoke softly. “My name is Kira.” 

“I see. So, Miss Kira…you’re from the resistance, huh? What’s the status over there in Watatsumi Island?” 

Again, you assumed your role as a fugitive rebel with sigh. “Not too good. They’ve pushed us back so far that we had to resort to underhanded tactics.”

Thoma raised an eyebrow. “Such as?” 

Immediately remembering the suggestion of one of the attendants earlier, you decided to use that as a reference. ���Infiltrating the Kujou Encampment to gain some intel. Though, I hardly got that done at all since…” Then, a wordless gesture towards the bandages wrapped around your body. 

Ayaka flashed you a pitiful expression while Thoma hummed to himself. Did you really sound that convincing? Nonetheless, the chief retainer spoke again. “A wise man once told me that the best way out of a predicament is through. Why don’t you guys just march straight into Inazuma City and take it up to the Raiden Shogun herself?”

“Why don’t we step out and allow our guest to have some peace tonight?” Ayaka intervened, rising to her feet while tugging on Thoma’s sleeve in the process as she turned to you. “He asks too many questions sometimes. Again, please forgive him.” 

You shook your head. “I’m already taking up much of your time as is. The one seeking penance should be me, milady.” 

The princess shook her head once more as they made their way out of the room. “We hope for nothing but utmost health for you, Miss Kira. Please don’t hesitate to call for us if you need anything. We can discuss your situation further in the morning.” 

When the door slid shut behind them, you could still vaguely make out some fragments of conversation. Ayaka was saying something along the lines of, “You should really be more polite to our guests,” and Thoma only responded with a peal of laughter. 

Then, your eyes flickered towards your dinner—braised salted fish with pickled seaweed on the side.

“All these formalities for a complete stranger?” you muttered, pulling apart the chopsticks they’d provided as you shook your head. “Bunch of fools...” 

Once you’ve had your fill, you tossed the blankets aside and stretched your limbs. Acting bedridden could easily make you feel the part, and you had to keep your blood pumping for what you were about to do. 

For some reason, Hina and the guards didn’t bother inspecting you or your clothes, which proved to be quite the advantage.

Walking over to where they’d set down your boots, you turned the left boot upside down—shaking it rigidly until a satin pouch and a dark feather fell to the floor. 

The pouch that contained the poison you were to use weighed almost nothing in your palm, and it was for that reason you chose it.

Powdered crystal marrow was so easy to conceal that slipping it into the princess’ evening tea was mere child’s play. You then shoved Kujou Sara’s feather in one of your pockets, praying you didn’t have to use it at all. 

When the door to the room slid open again, you were completely prepared. This time, it wasn’t Kamisato Ayaka nor Thoma who went in to collect the tray.

It was one of the attendants that had been gossiping outside while the healer was tending to your injuries. 

She paused by the entrance when she noticed you weren’t in your futon, and it was at that moment that you pounced—muffling her nose with a cloth laced with poison. Not enough to kill her, but certainly enough to knock her out.

Knowing that you’re quickly running out of time, you disrobed the attendant and replaced your disguise with her clothes swiftly.

The sleeves billowed just right around your arms, and the obi wasn’t too difficult to tie. And since you felt slightly bad for having to drag her into this, you covered the attendant’s bare body with the thin blanket of your futon. 

With the tray that Ayaka had dropped off in hand, you closed the door to your room—eyes darting around for anyone who could have gotten wind of what just happened. 

Fortunately, there weren’t many people milling inside the mansion. Just a couple of attendants dusting furniture and scrubbing the tatami.

None of them spared you so much as a backwards glance. But, knowing you couldn’t exactly disguise your face, you made yourself scarce—heading to a hall that you had a hunch led to the kitchen. 

Based on the brief glimpses you’d seen prior to your relocation to the room, your guess should be right, and the attendant you’d just taken out was about to bring Ayaka her evening tea. You didn’t perform a weeklong stake-out for your calculations to be incorrect. 

With each step you took across the hall, your heart pounded dreadfully. This was it. You were almost there. If you managed to pull this off, your mantle as Inazuma’s most cunning assassin would be set in stone. Your services would be sought after, and you’d be raking in millions from each job. 

(And then Inazuma would be plunged into chaos. The fall of the Kamisato clan’s eldest daughter undoubtedly offsetting the peace that the people of Narukami tried so hard to maintain. The Electro Archon would no longer have any reason to hold back. But would the Raiden Shogun lash out on the very people whom she promised a never-ending eternity? 

Would someone like you even be spared from her wrath?)

Your predictions have been correct. You were headed the right way. The kitchen was at the far end of this hall, and none of the other attendants were present. 

Instead, the one that greeted you was the chief retainer in all his smug glory—instantly ripping you away from your musings of the future, and back to the dreadful present. 

Thoma stood in front of the counter, a fresh tea set patterned with Ayaka’s favorite herons painted elegantly on each ceramic piece. Behind him, a kettle sat on top of the stove—the low flame illuminating the room just a tad brighter.

He didn’t seem surprised to see you, nor did he have any outward reaction to the fact that you’re wearing an attendant’s uniform. Instead, he leaned across the wooden surface, sighing. 

“Well that’s just disappointing,” he lamented. “I really rooted for you, you know. Hope you’d give it up and leave once you’ve gotten a taste of milady’s kindness.” 

You kept your lips sealed, straightening yourself as you sauntered over to the sink. Your movements were quiet as you set down the bowl and chopsticks they’d given, and Thoma watched your every move.

You had absolutely no clue how he’d managed to sniff you out as quickly as he did, but if he wasn’t pinning you to the floor and tying you up yet, then you still had some leeway for escape. 

“I’ve already expected your arrival, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Thoma supplied. “You’re good at not leaving any tracks, but you aren’t exactly keen on concealing your presence. It’s almost like you wanted me to know what you were up to.”

Despite his friendly tone, you kept your silence—gaze roving around the kitchen for any clean-cut exits, only to realize there were none. 

You half-contemplated using the rest of your powdered crystal marrow to incapacitate him and make your escape. Though you’re yet to witness it firsthand, Thoma would definitely be worth something in a fight if he was the Kamisatos’ chief retainer.

The injuries you’d sustained from throwing it down with a bunch of mitachurls to look convincingly mangled weren’t all fake. If you were backed into a corner now, you’ll definitely lose.

But you reminded yourself that every dose you got your hands on was few and far in between. You didn’t want to risk your future kills for a momentary lapse in judgement. 

So, like any cornered animal, you did what was logical at that moment. 

You ran for your life.

.

.

. 

Or, at least tried to. 

Before you could even step out of the kitchen, Thoma was already on you—seizing both of your wrists and twisting them behind your back. Your jaw throbbed as he slammed your face against the wall, and no matter how hard you struggled, you couldn’t break free from his grip.

“Get your hands off me, guard dog,” you hissed, desperately trying to kick him in the groin as a last resort. 

Thoma let out another stupidly carefree laugh as he evaded your attempts at his family jewels. “Guard dog? That’s a new one. And you say it like it’s an insult.” 

“Fuck you!”

“Now, now. That’s not a very kind thing to say.” He pouted. “And milady was so insistent for me to be polite. Not so deserving now, are you?” 

Irritated, you considered spitting in his face, but remembered you had more tact than that. “So? Just kill me then. You already predicted I’d try to kill her, didn’t you?”

The moment you’d articulated the words, it struck you that Thoma was acting awfully calm about your blatant revelation. If it had been one of the other retainers, they’d probably be fuming at the knowledge.

Maybe they would’ve called the police by now. Worse, they’d have you executed on the spot. 

But this man didn’t look like a fiercely loyal retainer who prioritized the well-being of his charge above all else. As you struggled to get a look at him from the impossible position he’d pinned you with, Thoma flashed you a conspiratorial grin that gave you the creeps. 

“Killing you would be too easy, don’t you think?” the chief retainer sighed. “And besides, milady seems to have taken a liking to you. She’s never met a member of the resistance before. She even wondered over dinner if you two could be friends.” 

You clicked your tongue. “I thought you already knew that I wasn’t—”

“Yes, yes. I knew you were a fraud the moment you answered my questions earlier,” Thoma interjected with a chuckle. “No bona fide member of the resistance would give away sensitive information like that so freely. They’d rather kill themselves first before revealing the strategies of Her Excellency, Sangonomiya.”

Oh. So that’s how he figured out.

“Okay, so my acting could be a bit better,” you began snarkily. “But what does it matter now? You caught me. The Almighty chief retainer of the Kamisato household has caught another mouse in the trap. Now could you please just get to the part where you lead me down to the gallows to commit seppuku?” 

You were stalling. No one with a survival instinct as desperate as yours would easily resign themselves to a soundless execution.

In reality, you were wiggling an arm out of his grasp in an attempt to reach for the feather tucked in the folds of your stolen obi. Thoma held you conveniently close to the stove, and if you could just toss it into the low flame—

“Hm? But what if it isn’t my intention to have you killed at all?”

That made you pause.

As if to prove a point, Thoma unhanded you and put his palms up in faux-surrender. You scoffed as you rubbed your face. 

“Look, I knew you’ve been scouting the area for days now, and you basically just admitted to your own intentions on milady’s life,” he elaborated. “I also knew that this place is too tightly guarded for you to execute your plans as smoothly as you liked. So you had to carry out your mission in the most roundabout way possible.” 

“Yes, yes. Of course, of course,” you spat sarcastically. “If you’re so smart and all-knowing, just cut to the damn chase.” 

Thoma let out another laugh, and you were so close to sacrificing your last stash of powdered crystal marrow just to see him drop dead.

“The point is, even if I know all these things…milady doesn’t.” 

“...I don’t follow.”

Sighing, Thoma leaned against the counter with another disdainful sigh. “I’m offering you an alternative, Miss Kira. Heh. Even the name you picked was a dead giveaway. Seriously? A name that means kill?” 

You clicked your tongue. “What alternative are we speaking of again?” 

This time, the chief retainer flashed you a look that made you feel like he was mocking you. 

“I’ll forget all the information you just revealed to me tonight. I’ll pretend as if our…altercation never happened.” He listed each condition on his fingers before pointing at your stolen garbs. “And I’ll even deal with the poor attendant whose clothes you nabbed. I’m sure I can bribe her into keeping her silence.”

Not liking how good the odds were for you if Thoma simply feigned ignorance like that, you asked, “What do you want in return?” 

What came out of his mouth in the next moment, however, was probably the most ridiculous job you’d ever been saddled with in your life. It put Kujou Masanori’s orders to utter, absolute shame.

“Well, it’s very simple, actually.” Thoma grinned. “I want you to be…milady’s friend.”

next ->

© cryoculus | kaientai ✧ all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my work on other platforms.

[flusterfluff]

Altun and Harmony's answers under the cut!

1a) Altun likes fruity drinks, and isn't afraid to order something large. 1b) Harmony would order a glass of baking soda if she could speak enough to order. She goes absolutely feral for the stuff.

2a) Altun is rigorous about scrubbing her scales and bathes at least two times a day, occasionally even going to bath houses to soak and relax. A lot of her work is a strain on her back and legs, so she enjoys water a lot 2b) Harmony doesn't groom. She doesn't shower, and she only bathes when forced into water by Altun. It's a lot like trying to get a cat to take a bath. This only happens about three times per week, but she doesn't seem to need as much hygenic upkeep for some reason. 3a) Altun is rigorous about the upkeep of her submersibles and mammets, but lacking the skill to maintain them herself, most of her spare income goes to paying engineers when one breaks down. 3b) Harmony doesn't understand the concept of money and paid four million gil for a single drink, once. How did she get that much money? Who knows. Wait, she has -retainers-? Since when!? How!? HARMONY, YOU BETTER BE PAYING THEM! 4a) Altun's back is HEAVILY scarred from a fight earlier in her life with a Courser Chocobo. She took a Choco Meteor right to the back, but ended up victorious. She won't say she won, but she DID have dinner that night. 4b) Harmony has no scars, but thin veins of gold run across her body in a curious manner. 5a) She won't admit it. She did it behind closed doors, in a bath, when her mentor died. That was a long night, and there was probably a bit too much alcohol involved. 5b) Some time before she was corrupted. It's impossible to know further details. 6a) Orphaned at a young age, she doesn't know if she has any blood relatives left alive. (She does, like two cousins that she has VERY NARROWLY avoided meeting because oops) 6b) She was the youngest child of a noble family in Voeburt. I only learned as much as I'm writing this. 7a) It varies based on conditions. She actually has two pairs of footwear, something light for moving around more easily and heavier boots for trudging through coerthan snow 7b) If you look below the dress, she's actually barefoot. Yes, even in the snow. On paving tiles. In houses. On carpets. Barefoot. This doesn't seem to bother her, or somehow leave any mess. 8a) It's a mess. Altun sleeps where she works, sometimes making her way to her mess of a bed from her desk. 8b) Harmony might not sleep? I don't know, she won't tell me. 9a) Altun is really fond of Starlight. She remembers seeing Ishgardian fireworks displays courtesy of the cannons on the Steps of Faith from afar as a child. It's a quiet appreciation, but she really likes the mood. 9b) Today. Tomorrow doesn't exist, yesterday can't be changed, but today is here and now. Harmony is happy to exist, and every day is a gift. She well and truly lives every day like it's a holiday, and that's not just because she doesn't understand what a holiday is. Only partially because of it. 10a) Altun actually has a mood necklace that she wears almost everywhere, even if it doesn't quite work. It does, however, reflect the role of whatever job she's on because I'm a nerd about my glamours like that. She also has a trusty knife that she's incredibly fond of. The blade is super worn down and almost too short to be useful from how many times it has been sharpened, but almost useless isn't useless. 10b) Harmony has way too many cookies. She has had them since at LEAST last hatching-tide, and they're all super stale and some are even moldy. Do not accept cookies from her. It's for the best if you just let her eat them in peace, no matter how enthusiastic she seems to share them.

So my problem with most ‘get to know your character’ questioneers is that they’re full of questions that just aren’t that important (what color eyes do they have) too hard to answer right away (what is their greatest fear) or are just impossible to answer (what is their favorite movie.)  Like no one has one single favorite movie. And even if they do the answer changes.

If I’m doing this exercise, I want 7-10 questions to get the character feeling real in my head. So I thought I’d share the ones that get me (and my students) good results: 

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory) 

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.) 

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.) 

What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.) 

[criphd]

okay ... to do list for today .... the death knell [nell?] of this awful piece of writing ::

-> eat breakfast :)

-> go over what i printed out & write new paragraph [s]

-> take a break for half an hour, get dressed probably, etc (listen to the vampyre?!) [actually decided i cant concentrate on my screen right now so im gonna walk to the library and print out what i have so far so i can mark it up.. so it will b like a 45 minute break but it shld b okay lol i'm just too tired for this !!!]

-> 30 minute writing session [i am going to play a game to get myself to do as much as possible called 'how many words can i write in 30 minute segments throughout the day'] {485 words} {900 in an hour}

-> 30 minutes writing adding in the next quotations / vibes

-> decide if i can keep working in my flat or if i need to go to work on campus [probably].... or maybe have a brief nap bc i am so tired n have been awake since 5am and i need to keep going for as long as possible???

-> buy lunch !! [want a baked potato :)] [and snacks?!] on my way to campus

-> take a break ??

-> edit piece for 15/30 mins

-> send draft to mari

-> whilst i'm waiting for the return i need to do my references... at least a little more lol [15/15]

-> when it's back from mari check word count again... 15 - 30 min working on the 'onward' section [3500 :)]

-> work on the specific novels section / integrating them into the main body of the piece [30 mins] [check word count !]

-> then just keep writing and editing until im too tired / i dont think i can do more or i get to 5000 words ! [reader, i did not get to 5000 words lol]

-> eat dinner.... relax.... write the email....

-> send it !!! hope it makes some sense !! go to sleep !!!! ugh :(

[through-blue-eyes]

I had a startling realization just now, as I ate my dinner - the plate on the right (leftovers). I usually don't stop and think about what I am eating. I'm just satisfying a need - hunger. At work on my lunch (pic on the left) I focus on my coworkers and our conversation - usually always work related, we use our lunch break as a way of bringing each other up to date on work. So I guess it's not really a beak at all 😂😂 but that's a post for another day. Anywho...

When I'm home, I usually eat while I watch TV or scroll my phone - again focusing on that instead of my actual food. Today though - today I focused. And that's when I took the picture. Because I knew then that I wanted to write this experience out.

As I ate the meatloaf, I thought about the person who put it together- my sous. I thought about the person who baked it, and made the sauce - my student. I thought about the recipe - my version of an old friend of mine's recipe. I thought about all of the people who played a part in that dish. And even now - I'm humbled as I think about the hundreds, if not thousands, of people behind it. Those who raised the produce, made the ingredients. And so forth, and so forth.

I did the same thing for the mashed potatoes and gravy - another student made the potatoes, and they turned out perfectly, which reminded me of all the times my previous class would over salt.

I thought about the gravy - which I made. It was a quick shortcut version, a blonde roux added to beef broth and then seasoning adjusted. I thought about where I learned that - a hospital that I used to work at, where I met some amazing people who changed my life - one of which is still in my life is a huge way.

And then I thought about the plate. The faded apples of my childhood. I would eat off of these plates every morning and evening during the summer - at my grandparents. 7am breakfast, then tending to the farm, 4/4:30pm dinner, usually followed by more work. My grandmother's plates.

She passed away last December, rather quickly. I wish that an autopsy would have been done - for me it would have given closure to know exactly what happened. We know she had cancer - Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma - however because of her pacemaker she couldn't have an MRI. It wasn't even two weeks after they confirmed the cancer that she passed. I'm glad that she didn't suffer - truly I am. She was sleeping through most of it, and she just slipped in her sleep. I just know that a simple signature would have given me the answers I needed and that opportunity was missed.

I miss her - she had the best hugs. Firm hands. A good grip. When she looked at you and smiled, you could feel all the love she had for you. I saved her last voicemail - I play it when I miss her the most. I wear a necklace - a moon. It came with another - a star necklace. That one is buried with her. I never take it off, and it brings me comfort to know that she is never without hers either.

I didn't exactly know where this was going to head, but I didn't exactly expect to end up here. I'm grateful for this experience though - I'm thankful that I have enough awareness to call myself out on things like this. Because the me from last year couldn't.

[nopantsfriday]

What I’m Working On...

Tagged by @vir-ghilani if she says everyone bet your buttons I’m hitching my wagon to it

Rules: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever…

Art

So I have a couple projects outside of my school work that I’ve been working on. Mostly Dragon Age and Mass Effect stuff because I’m a nerd and I hyper fixate on things. I’m actually working on finishing these up so I can focus on more original stuff. But I will be making the shift no matter what after this summer. So some of my top projects are:

“Var Lath Vir Suledin” - It's a Solavellan piece that is sort of coming out of the thumbnail phase and moving toward lineart and color planning.

“Elven Antics” - A comic I’ve been stuck on since some time last year, it keeps getting pushed to the side for school work and because it's the most demanding thing when it comes to my hands. I mean backgrounds, Orlesian fashion, armor, so many characters, and nugs. Since its been a project of long standing its evolved into being more detailed than I originally planned. Hopefully I can work on this with more focus during my break that is coming up.

“Red Lioness” - It's a portrait piece for Isala. Its another side project that’s been sitting in the queue. It’s still in the planning phase, outfits, style, and research has stalled this. It’s my sort of experimental piece that is moving slowly but I’m okay with that.

“Boys In Blue” - It’s a piece that I want to use as the banner for my Mass Effect blog. It’s Garrus and Jaal in a sort of Noir Detective AU. I’m focusing on sort of monochromatic color scheme for this, blues, the only other color would be Jaal in his purple beauty.

Creature Concept art for a project I’m doing with some friends.

“Fallen Daugher” - My original story and comic, I’m finishing up some character designs and the script. This is a project that I have a long history with and I’m trying to shake off the desire for utter perfection and just really get it rolling now that the story is more solidified.

Writing

“The Chronicles of Inquisitor Lavellan” (COIL) - It’s Isala’s story that’s come to a complete standstill and been on a prolonged hiatus due to school and my art projects.

“Fistcourse” - Another writing project that got put on hold. This one was inspired by @vir-ghilani and I’m horrified how long it's been since I started it and it fell into hiatus. I’ve started on it again and now I’m fixing a few things before I continue onto the next chapter.

“Swans of Thedas” - This is a project that I’m drooling over doing and hasn’t escaped the draft phase mostly because of all the projects above and school. I don’t really want to sink my teeth into it quite yet until I’m further into COIL and have checked off more of these projects but I go to it every now and again when I send things to betas, or am taking a break from drawing for my hands.

My clan metas for Revassan, Shalelan, and Lavellan - these are personal things. Mostly for exploring the two clans I made for Isala’s story. They’re two wholly different clans with different morals, ideology, and inclusion in the Dalish community. I’m almost done with these because I have most of Revassan’s written back from my winter break but am polishing it up before posting it in one master post.

I give myself a large project list and sleep when I pass out. I’m happy this way. Though sometimes it feels like I get inspired to add another thing so my idea notebook/sticky note corner is constantly being added too. But that’s okay. As long as I finish things.

tagging @mishikaiya @nicoledraws and anyone else who wants to do this

[iamasimpingh0e]

Hey!! I LOVE your work and i wanted to request something with Antonio dawson where the reader (who is a lot younger than him) wants a baby but Antonio feels like he's too old for that. And after some talking they agree on start trying for one but then she finds out she actually can't have babies. So she gets really upset and starts to distance herself because she feels like is her fault that she got Antonio excited about a baby and now she can't give him one.

I'm sorry if that's too specific, you can take it from there and make the changes you want but please with a happy ending😅🙏🏼

Antonio Dawson x reader

Words: 4353

Characters: Antonio Dawson, reader, ...

Warnings: infertility, talk about woman trafficking

Genre: sad, fluff

A/n: I know this is long and all, but I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you enjoy reading this and I would really love an opinion. Also send requests:)

You sat at the dinner table lost in your own thoughts, dragging your food around the plate.

"You're not hungry?" Your husband asked you.

"Huh?" You looked up to see him looking at you worried.

"I asked if you're not hungry. You look like you've seen a ghost." He said.

"No, no I'm good, just had a stressful day at the office, that's all." You told him.

"You wanna talk about it?"

No you really didn't because there was nothing to talk about.

"Nah, not right now." You told him.

"Okay, I'm here for you." He smiled at you and took your hand in his.

"Remember that Diego and Eva are coming over later, we promised them a family game night." He said as he stood up to put away the dirty dishes.

"Why they coming over so late though and don't eat with us?" You suddenly asked, looking at Antonio.

"Something about Laura taking them out to eat with her new boyfriend, I don't know. You know her." It made sense, if you were completely honest, Laura always breaks the agreement she and Antonio had, if it was about her.

"So when are they coming over exactly?"

"Said they'd be here in about an hour and a half. Why?" Antonio smirked at you, probably having something special in his mind.

"Great, that gives me a lot of time to bake some cookies for later." You said as you stood up.

You loved baking and always did that when you got something on your mind, Antonio knew that.

"Babe, you don't have to bake. We can just go to the store real quick and buy some snacks."

"But I want to 'tonio." You said, walking over to the cabinets and grabbing everything you needed.

After the cookies were done you cleaned the kitchen and soon there was someone knocking at the door.

"Babe, can you open the door? I'll be there in a sec." Antonio asked you from the bedroom.

"Yeah" so you walked to the door and greeted the kids.

The evening was spent with a lot of laughter and Eva gossiping about her new crush with you, while Antonio and Diego were distracted.

But while you loved those kids like they were your own, something was still missing. Since you were a kid, you knew you wanted to have your own children someday. To feel this enthusiastic feeling mom's always talk about when they were pregnant. To go to the appointments and see the ultrasound for the first time. To hear your baby's heartbeat and to feel them kick as well. All of that, even the morning sickness and the weird cravings, you wished you could experience those. Young into your relationship with Antonio, he made clear that he didn't want more children. His first reason was that he already had two beautiful kids and the second one was that he didn't feel the right age anymore. While you were still young and in the perfect age to have children, he felt too old to take care of a baby.

Sure it hurt as hell as he had said that but you tried to not seem as disappointed.

And you would rather have no children of your own than not be with Antonio for the rest of your life.

After the kids got picked up by their mom, you made your way into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Looking into the mirror above the sink, you could see Antonio leaning on the doorframe and looking at you. His deep stare made you grin.

"I got some on my face?" You asked him.

"Nah." He came behind you and hugged you.

"You just have been awfully quiet today. You really don't wanna talk about it? I'm worried."

"I already said I'm fine." You snapped.

You didn't want to sound that mean but he was getting on your nerves.

"Obviously you're not fine, if you don't fucking say a single word the whole evening." Now Antonio was also getting mad. He knew that something was wrong and it was killing him not to be able to help.

"God, 'm just tired, alright?" You tried to get out of his arms and leave the room but he blocked your way out. With crossed arms, he now stood in front of the doorway.

" I really wanna believe you, but I know you y/n. I know when some is up." He honestly told you.

"Alright, fine. I want a baby." You now looked at him and you know what he would say next.

"Y/n we already talked about this."

"I know but what can go wrong? Why are you so worried, you're literally the greatest dad ever." You tried to convince him.

"The decision to have a baby isn't just made in one night, baby. Also I already told you that I don't want more kids." His voice grew louder.

"Oh right of course. Don't you notice? The whole time it's about what you want? But let me tell you what I want, yeah? I wanna carry my own bundle of joy. I wanna experience all the shit, young moms get to experience. From morning sickness to ultrasounds and even to contractions, even though they hurt like hell. I want to teach them how to walk and talk, buy cute clothes for them and hold them after they had a nightmare. I get it, I really do. You already went through that, twice. But I never did. I NEVER DID." Now you had tears in your eyes.

"You know what? Forget I ever said that, I'll go to bed now. Night" You mumbled as you dodged around Antonio and went to bed.

That night you felt like you didn't get a single second of sleep.

-------

Antonio was worked up the next morning. First you left before he even woke up without saying goodbye.

Then Voight wasn't in a good mood and let it all out on the team and after that he had to do a lot of paperwork, he would need the whole day to do so.

The only upside was that the bullpen was quiet because everyone was busy with their own papers. This gave Antonio time to think about the argument he had with you yesterday.

A cup of coffee was placed in front of him and as he looked up, he saw Jay looking down at him. Jay was the one that introduced him to you in the first place.

"You look like shit, so I thought you needed this." He said, before he went to sit down on the chair across from Antonio.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"You don't got your own shit to handle?" Antonio gestured to the stack of paper on Jay's table.

"Nah, everybody needs a break sometimes, don't they?" Jay told him.

Antonio knew that Jay wouldn't give up so easily so he just told him right away.

"Y/n wants a baby."

"Oh man that's great, isn't it? Why are you beating yourself up about it?"

"When we started dating, I made it clear that I don't want kids anymore. She knew that Jay. And now she acts like I'm the asshole for holding her back."

Antonio felt ashamed about talking about this at his place of work. But he knew that Jay was one of your best friends and could probably help. Also he needed a small break from all the paperwork as well.

"You know y/n. She would rather have no kids than be without you man, but she's also the kind who always wanted a child. When we were younger, as cliché as it sounds, we always played family. It was the only time we could try to create a perfect one. Y/n always wanted to be a mom, she wanted to act like she cooked for us and all that shit. She was also the kind that wrote as her dream job, in those friendship books, mother." Jay said.

He knew how much you wanted children, you told him that before you even started to date Antonio.

"And maybe seeing you with Diego and Eva, knowing that you got to experience everything she always wanted, ripped that one part open again."

Antonio thought about what Jay said, after the man went back to work.

Instead of focusing on his own work again, he made a list, a pro and contra list to be exact.

He wrote down everything that was against, and that was for having a child. Looking at his finished list, he saw that there were a lot more reasons for having another kid, than against it. The last reason he had written down, was that it would make you happy.

So after work he was finally ready to talk to you about having another child.

-----

"Hey" He greeted you as he stepped into the house.

"Hey, how was work?" you quietly said.

Sure you were still sad and mad about yesterday, but you couldn't ignore him forever.

"Nothing much happened. But...I thought about yesterday"

You really didn't want to hear anything about it and relieve the moment. You were disappointed enough.

"I think we could try for one of us." He said and you looked up at him.

Was he serious?

"I mean, if you think about this, a mix of you and me running around? That would be perfect." He went over to you and put his arms around your waist.

"Yeah? What made you change your mind?" You were curious.

"That doesn't really matter does it? Are you in?" He asked, eyes locking with yours.

"You sure?" You quietly asked.

"Never been more sure, baby." This made you smile and he quickly took the opportunity to kiss you.

The kiss held so many feelings in it. Excitement, love, a little bit of sadness and more.

Antonio picked you up and carried you towards the bedroom. There he dropped you on the bed and you guys quickly went to work on having a baby.

------

It's been weeks now, since you and Antonio tried for a baby the first time.

You sat in the bathroom, waiting for the pregnancy test to finish. As your timer went off, you walked towards the sink and turned the test around. Another negative. Great you thought as you threw the test away to the other ones you took in the last few weeks.

You were clearly disappointed and asked yourself why it was so hard to become pregnant. Why does it take so long for people who actually want to have a child and teenagers get to get pregnant every day by accident? Why was the world so cruel to you?

After more weeks went by and you were still not pregnant, you tried to get in contact with a specialist.

Becoming pregnant shouldn't have been a problem for you, you were still young after all.

You found one nearby and made an appointment for the following week, not telling Antonio to not necessarily worry him.

------

"So Mrs. Dawson, your test results came back." The doctor told you as she sat down on the other side of the desk.

After you didn't answer she continued talking.

"I'm sorry to tell you that you're not able to have children." She gave you a sad look.

It was part of her everyday life to tell women that they can't have children on their own. But even though she experiences it all the time, it didn't become anything less painful. The look in their eyes right after she told them the news.

"Wh-what?" You asked.

Your hope was smashed. Before you came here, you were full of hope and now, boom. Your dreams will never become reality. Never ever. You will never have a little child running through your house, having your eyes, nose, mouth or hair.

After the doctor explained to you why exactly you weren't able to become pregnant, you left the clinic with a hole in your heart.

The drive home felt like an eternity, and the feeling was welcome. You didn't want to face Antonio just yet, you were scared of his reaction, after all he was finally excited to become a dad again soon.

Driving into the driveway, you saw Antonio's car already parked there.

You felt like a robot, not sure what you were even feeling. Your movements felt monotone, like someone else was controlling every step you took.

Unlocking the front door and taking one last breath, you stepped into the house and directly were met with a beautiful smell.

It smelled like Antonio cooked your favorite food.

"Hey baby, how was your day?" He asked you as you stepped into the kitchen.

You didn't want to ruin the nice dinner, so you put your best fake smile on and went for a kiss.

"Hey, it was great." You said as you went for a kiss.

"Whatcha cookin?" You asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Your favorite, now sit down and enjoy the service babe"

You did as he told you and sat down at the table.

After you both ate dinner, you talked a little about you boths day.

"So should we continue trying now?" Antonio asked you as he came behind you and massaged your shoulders.

You knew you eventually had to tell him, so you took the opportunity to let the bomb explode.

"I can't have children." You suddenly said, tears glistering in your eyes.

"Whatcha mean, you can't have kids, huh?" He asked now standing next to you, so he had a better look at your face.

He softly swiped away the one tear that fell down into your cheek.

"I went to a specialist today." You said between sobs.

"She said, I can't have them because something is wrong with my hormone level or some, I dunno, I zoned out when she told me."

"Hey, hey, it's okay." He embraced you and softly stroked your cheek.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." You were a sobbing mess now, everything from the last couple of weeks coming to the surface.

"It's alright , babe look at me" He took your chin in his hands and made you look at him, kissing your tears away.

"We'll figure something out. You and me we're a team, yeah? We're in this together."

You nodded but you also felt that something changed.

-----

You don't really know what changed that day but you felt as if you were in a bubble. Shut away from the outside world. It was only your own thoughts. Thoughts you weren't able to control. Thoughts that told you that all of it was your fault, even though you wouldn't have been able to change it.

You shut down completely after the talk with Antonio. Only leaving the bedroom to grab something to eat, or to go to the bathroom. Not showering in days and only staying in bed.

Antonio really wanted to help you out but he knew there was nothing he could do, aside from showing you that he was there for you.

He knew that you, as the one who couldn't have children, would have worse sadness overtaking you, than him.

Maybe you just needed to talk to a professional, or to someone who, in some way, could understand the pain you were in.

That's what he told you as he brought you dinner. You really didn't want to hear all that bullshit about going to a help group or a therapist, but if it would make Antonio happy, you would try to do so.

------

The next morning you made an appointment to talk to a therapist. Antonio was proud of you for taking a step towards accepting your faith, and he would support you in every way possible.

The appointment went smoothly and maybe it has been the right decision.

You felt better after that and finally, for the first time in weeks, you stood in the kitchen and wanted to bake something. Not because you wanted to take your mind off of things but because you genuinely wanted to.

----

Meanwhile Antonio had a rough case at work. They had cases about women trafficking, including many dead girls. It broke his heart to see them so helpless, so used without an own choice to make.

While they were getting ready to raid a house, Jay came over to Antonio to talk to him.

"Hey, what's wrong with y/n? Haven't seen her in forever?" He asked.

"Nah she's good, we're just going through some stuff right now, it's all fine." Antonio said as he patted Jay on the shoulder and left the room.

It wasn't his place to tell him anyways.

"Dawson and I take the back, Upton and Halstead the side and the rest takes the front." Voight said as they all were coming together at the corner of the road, leading to the house they were going to raid.

"Okay go" with that the team split up and went to their ordered place to be.

Upon opening the door, shots directly began to ring through the room.

"Chicago P.D put the gun down." Antonio yelled, standing next to Voight.

The raid was successful and they were able to save some more girls before it was too late. As they were searching up the house for more hiding places, Antonio opened up a small closet and couldn't believe his eyes.

In it was sitting a small boy, not even looking 3 years old. The boy looked at Antonio with such scared eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Sarge?" He yelled for his boss to show him the boy he found.

They took the kid with them to stay at the district while waiting for CPS to pick him up.

Antonio sat at his desk, doing paperwork since they closed the case as Platt came up the stairs.

"There's someone here to see you, Dawson." She said as she left again.

You came walking into the bullpen, a tray in your hand.

Quickly Antonio stood up to embrace you and take the tray from your hands.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked you.

"I baked some cookies, thought yall would like some." You answered.

"Uii yes, thank you." Jay suddenly appeared behind you, stealing a cookie from the tray.

"I'll just put them down in the breakroom, yeah?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Antonio said without mentioning the boy that was still sitting in the breakroom. He hasn't talked a single word, since they found him in the closet.

As you walked into the breakroom you saw him right away, sitting at the table, coloring something. He looked sad so you thought a cookie might make his mood go up.

"Hey, you whispered as you slowly crouched down to be at his height.

"You want a cookie?" You asked him as you slid the tray into his direction.

The boy looked up at you and then eyed the tray. After that he looked back up to you.

"Don't worry, you can take as many as you want."

With that he took one from the tray.

You sat down on the chair opposite of him.

"What's your name?" You softly asked.

He looked at you again, thinking about if he should answer or not.

"Cole." He whispered.

"Hey Cole, nice to meet you. I'm y/n." You smiled at him and he smiled back.

Maybe it was faith that everything happened the way it did.

"What are you drawing there, pal?"

"A dragon." If you were honest the drawing didn't look like a dragon, more like a random line but you smiled at it either way.

"Wow, it looks really cool. Can I draw with you?" Cole slowly nodded before passing you some pens.

Antonio walked towards the break room, looking for you because you haven't come outside for a while, when he saw you sitting there, in front of the boy, drawing together with him.

His heart swelled with the sign as suddenly one of the CPS workers appeared next to him.

"This him?" He asked gesturing to the boy.

"Yeah, we got a name or anything about him. Hasn't spoken one word since he came here." Antonio told him.

"Alright let's go."

The worker opened the door to the breakroom and Antonio followed him.

"Heyaa pal?" The worker crouched down in front of the kid while you suddenly looked at Antonio.

He could see that it broke your heart to see that Cole would have to go into foster care.

"What's your name, little one?" The social worker asked but Cole didn't answer.

"His name's Cole." You just simply answered the question for him.

The social worker and Antonio both looked at you surprised. The boy never talked to anyone so how did you know?

"He told me." You said as if you could read their minds.

"If you could leave us alone for a while, that would be great." The social worker said with a bitch face, not liking that you were here.

"Alright" You said as you stood up but before you went towards the door, Antonio quickly grabbed your wrist.

"Hey, my shift ends in like 30. You can wait at my desk if you'd like."

"Yeah, I will, thanks."

So you exited the room and went to sit at Antonio's desk while chatting with Jay for a while.

Meanwhile the social worker tried everything he could but Cole just wouldn't talk to him. He would sit there, looking at the picture you drew and be lost in his thoughts.

"Hey little man, why don't you tell us a little about yourself huh?"

But Cole still didn't answer, he just pointed at the drawing.

"Yeah, pretty drawing isn't it pal? You drew that?"

Again, no answer. Again he pointed to the drawing.

"Maybe he wants to talk to y/n?" Antonio suggested.

"Who's y/n?" The social worker asked.

"The woman you just sent out of the room, the one he seemed to talk to." Antonio said, trying to sound nice, even though the question the social worker asked was kinda stupid.

"Alright send her in."

You were surprised as Antonio came out of the room to call you back in, after all you got sent out in the first place.

"You gotta talk to him." Antonio told you.

So you went inside and crouched down next to the social worker.

"Hey pal." You softly said.

"This man's a nice guy, yeah? He's gonna take you with him to find you a new home."

Cole looked up at you and you could see tears in his eyes.

"But I wanna stay with you." The boy whispered and it broke your heart. You only spent a couple of minutes with him and he was already trusting you more than others.

"I know buddy, I really wish you could but it isn't possible. They'll find a nice home for you though. No need to worry." You tried to calm him down.

"No." He simply said.

"I wanna stay with you."

"This isn't my choice." You sadly said as the social worker went to pick up Cole.

"Come one buddy." He said but Cole gripped the table as hard as he could, to not get carried away. And right after that he began to throw a tantrum.

"Hey, hey, Cole, it's all right." You tried to calm him down over his sobs.

Antonio saw how much it hurt you to see him this way, but he couldn't do anything.

------

"What are they gonna do with him?" You asked Antonio as you paced your kitchen.

"I dunno babe. They'll find him a foster home till they find him a permanent place to stay. There's nothing we can do."

"But what if there's a way." You suddenly asked out of nowhere.

"Whatcha mean?" Antonio was confused.

"What if we take him in? I mean he already trusts me and it would feel right, ya know?"

"Y/n, it's a difficult process to get accepted to be a foster parent, ya know. Gabby went through it and it was hard work."

"I know, I know. But it's worth a try, isn't it?" You looked at him.

"You really want this, don't you?"

"Yeah. Antonio I saw this boy and I just had to talk to him. Maybe it was faith that I can't have kids of my own. Maybe I had to meet him." You tried to convince him.

"You really sure?"

"Never been more sure." You walked towards Antonio.

"Okay, I'll see what I can do."

-----

You were nervous to say the least. Hopping from one leg to the other the whole time, playing with the ending of your scarf. It made you calm down a little but the nervous feeling was still there.

Standing in the freezing outside weather of Chicago wasn't your favorite thing to do but it was all worth it.

And then you saw him and he saw you.

A grin spread through his features and he took off running towards you, leaving the social worker behind.

You crouched down and opened your arms, welcoming him with a loving hug.

"Hey buddy, long time no see." You whispered into his ear, pulling him closer to you.

Antonio kept his promise, he had to contact a lot of people, to fill out a lot of paperwork and to have a lot of home visits for this but seeing you happy made his heart explode with excitement. You had Cole in your arms for the first time in two weeks and the boy still remembered you. He was your new foster kid and if everything went great, you could maybe fill out the adoption papers in the future. Life may have given you lemons a while back, but you made lemonade out of them, and you couldn't be happier.

You looked up to Antonio and smiled at him as he came closer to you two.

He put his arm around your shoulder and you three walked into a new chapter together. A new perfect chapter.

[spideyspeaches]

Heart made of glass ↬ t.h

A/N: Beta read by the lovely @hollandcrush​ !! <3<3

Request (Summary): can you please write one about Tom, who is on the filming process of cherry and has some emotional problems because he feels that his character is already part of his life, so he comes home very angry and in a bad mood, so he just snaps and creates a big fight with the reader and just says things that he obviously didn't meant, you know very angst, and at the end just very fluff.

Hope you like this anon! Lemme know your thoughts heh <3<3

Warnings: breakdowns, slight vomiting but it’s not graphic. I’m not in any way romanticizing or sexualising breakdowns. 

WC: 2k+ 

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist || Taglist

Tom was an ambitious guy. He took his roles seriously, no matter what his character was and who he played. It was an admirable trait, the way he both enjoyed his work and worked hard to earn a high place in such a place as Hollywood. 

You always took pride in how amazing and accomplished your boyfriend was, your heart swelling whenever you heard his name being mentioned in events and interviews. You enjoyed how he tried to diversify the movies he worked in. 

("I've been playing the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man for so long, it's about time I play someone different now." He once said in a Jimmy Kimmel interview. You were watching from the audience, smiling as the audience roared in affirmation. 

"Well looks like you took quite a big leap from playing a superhero." Jimmy said, smiling at the audience with his paparazzi smile. 

You knew the question was scripted, quite harmless, but you still noticed how his shoulder stiffened, his smile not wavering once. 

"Well yeah, I used to be a superhero and now I'm a heroin addict." He joked, winking at the audience as he ran a hand through his nearly hairless head.

He cried himself to sleep that night, burying his face in your chest as you shushed him. )

It always worked in his favour, with the incredible support his family and fan base provided. And he was always so humble about it. 

Filming Cherry, however, was way different than he thought it would. With filming Cherry came consequences that he didn't necessarily like. He knew what he was bringing on himself and his family when he was first introduced with the script.

(Contrary to popular belief, he didn't actually give out spoilers, it was just small promotional stunts that kind of took over as his reputation to spoil minor details.)  

The process was intense, getting into the mindset of "Cherry" was taxing, and people were beginning to notice it in him. He was more restless, tugging at his non existent curls when he thought no one would notice. 

He was more clingy, more appreciative of your body and you, letting you know that there was no sexual intent behind his acts of caressing your waist at random times. You didn't notice the change in his behaviour. 

He had always been like this, watching you with the most gratifying gaze a man could muster, his pretty brown eyes like globes of whiskey, staring at you with a muffled expression. You didn't notice. 

There had always been a cutting edge to his voice, you knew and adored it. Behind the British actor who played Spider-Man, he was your Tom. Your Tom who gave you forehead kisses and baked cakes with you and made silly playlists that reminded him of you and you of him, your Tom who worshiped the ground you walked on, your Tom, your Tom and your Tom.

(Sometimes you envied that he was an actor, so good at hiding any emotions he felt, it came easy to him, just another fake emotion like he was a face behind the camera.)

He was never aggressive towards you. Never. Even on tough days, he was soft, caring and understanding to the point where it made you mad, immediately making you feel guilty. He worked so hard and yet here you were, blaming him for being nice, never standing up for himself.

"Uh, Tom, Tom stop, wait." You grunted, pushing his shoulders as he scrambled away from you at your discontent. 

You held his face, his breath hitching, hyperventilating as he tried to get himself together. 

Ever since he had started filming Cherry, he had been away from you. And now that you were finally here, he had been all over you, making love to every inch of your skin, like it was a holy grail he had to find, caressing your warm skin under his fingers making you shiver as his nimble fingers wandered. It was the intimacy, sexual and quasi-sexual, that made you realise, that there was something wrong.

Sex- it had been a constant in your life other than Tom. But of course, you didn't live on it. It was but a fuel that strengthened your relationship, it was about discovery and showing your vulnerable sides. It was a reminder of the coffee dates and baseball matches. It was loving, gentle and raw, like a gentle breeze caressing your face.

But this, this was different. And you noticed. This, what you had been doing, it was fucking. It was aggressive and needy and it felt good, but at the same time, it felt different.

"Baby?" You asked softly, trying to meet his eyes in the dark lit trailer. It was late, way past filming times, the only time you got to see his vulnerable side. 

You should have been in his hotel room, but you were in his trailer instead. All alone in the all encompassing darkness, it made your heart stutter beats. 

"Baby speak to me. What's happening, who's doing this to you?" You ask once again, holding onto him firmly this time, his squirming frame making you loosen your hold. You didn't care that you were naked, he had already seen it all. 

Fiddling with the rough sheets, he huffed a heavy breath. And that was all it took for the dam to break. 

"Tell me how do you feel baby, you're starting to scare me." You urged. All you got in response was his muffled sobs. Pulling him forward, you let his head rest on your bare chest, rivulets of tears sliding down your warm skin, almost burning you like acid, his tiny hair tickling you, a very contrasting feeling. 

"I can't do it. I can't take it anymore." He sniffed, wrapping his strong arms around you, shivering at the contact. It was a cold night in Cleveland, and you were naked and he was crying. You were berating yourself for not noticing. 

"What can't you take anymore?" You hold him, tracing circles on his buzz cut hair, just the way you did when he had his curls. 

"I feel like I'm becoming him. I don't like it at all, I try and try but I can't." He sobs, shoulders hitching with each sob. You felt your heart break, the sounds of his cries sending daggers into your skin. 

How could you have not noticed? The lively sunshine of a man was almost an empty shell. The interviews with former drug addicts had been excruciating for you, pity, disgust, sympathy and every other sinful emotion swirling in your mind. 

You couldn't believe that you hadn't thought about Tom, of what an effect it would have on him. 

"Bub, listen to me, carefully," you said, shushing him as he continued to look at you, teary eyed and red nosed, snot dripping out of his nose,"you listen to me. You're strong and resilient and nothing like him okay? He's not you. You're Tom Holland. You're brilliant and brave and amazing okay?" 

"But I don't feel that way!" He said, his aggressive stance surprising you, "he's- he's…" 

"He's what?" You asked, a little too impatient. Muttering a sorry, you rub your palm on his cheek, kissing the soft, moist skin.

"I don't feel so good." He croaked, getting up suddenly, making a run for the washroom. You rushed after him, watching him as he heaved into the toilet. Rubbing his back, you muttered affirmations, curling besides him as he sat on the ground, his back to the cold wall. 

You got up to switch on the lights, feeling his hands tugging yours, a soft "stay" coming out of him. 

"Better?" You asked, feeling him now against your collarbone. 

"I shouldn't be this affected, this- this isn't fair. I'm overreacting, I'm sorry I worried you baby I swear I didn't mean to-" 

"Shh, Tom first of all, you're not overreacting okay?" You smiled, kissing his nose, moving towards his brows and his forehead, "It's perfectly reasonable. The role you're playing...It's not exactly picking daisies. Fuck you're playing a heroin addict Tommy, a broken soldier with PTSD, a breakdown was inevitable. It only shows that you're human." 

"Really?" He smiled, it looked more like a grimace, a plea for reassurance. 

"Yes, really." You said, booping his nose, eliciting a giggle from him,"now, you better go to bed mister, you have an early shoot don't you?" You playfully scolded, kissing his lips, laughing as he carried you bridal style. 

"Tomorrow will be better." You whispered, kissing his eyelids, already closed, chest moving rhythmically as you counted his pulse, making sure he was completely asleep before slipping on your clothes, covering him with the thin quilt. 

***

"Is everything okay on set?" You asked casually, watching the crewmates work tirelessly in the daylight. 

You were standing next to Ciara on a prop jeep, fiddling with the water bottle held in your hand. 

"Hmm, as okay it can be with two people playing drug addicts." She shrugged, looking at you with a small smile. 

"Are you okay?" You asked, turning to give her your full attention, remembering your boyfriend's breakdown yesterday. 

"It gets… intense at times. Some scenes are hard to play, but we're okay. Mostly." She answered, taking your water bottle and chugging the water. 

"I'm not a therapist, but you can talk to me, you know?" You smiled, holding her shoulder as she gave you a bashful smile. 

"It's been tough on Tom. He's more aggressive, nearly had a breakdown during a scene." She said. 

"Yeah, that.. that happened yesterday too." 

"It was time, a person can only hold so much right?" 

"Yeah." 

You pondered her words, wondering if you could do anything to curb this. 

"I think I need help." He said one day while you were eating dinner. Harry, who was sitting next to you, looked up from his plate, giving you a knowing look before clearing his throat. 

"I'm gonna get some water." He said, waving awkwardly at you and getting up. You took that as a cue to scoot closer to Tom, running your hands through his camel hair. 

"That's very brave of you hun, asking for help." You smiled, kissing his cheek softly. You felt him smile, sliding closer to you, holding you by your waist. 

"I learnt from the best." He muttered in your hair, kissing your forehead. 

You felt his love that day, felt the way he ran his smooth fingers on your waistline, sliding across your thighs with care and softness you hadn't felt in a while. He was healing. It was a process, it took time but it happened.

***

You were walking across the library, his hand in yours, your hearts beating in silence. 

"How was your appointment?" You asked, shivering in the cold air. You rubbed your palms together, bringing your jacket closer to your chest, huffing the cold air. 

"It was good, much different from what the media portrays. She even showed me this meme she thinks you would like, look." He said, bringing out his phone to show you the saved meme. 

You laughed at his eagerness, kissing his lips as a final gratification. 

"Well it looks like you're having a great time. You have another scene left to do today in the evening so we better scram." You reminded him. 

You always did that, remind him of his schedule, reminded him to take a breath when he felt like he was drowning. You reminded him of home and what he had to look forward to.

"Why can't we have a lazy day today?" He whined, kissing your neck, making you giggle as it tickled. 

"You know you can't do that hun, you already took three days off." You snickered, poking his sides. 

"Well that sucks. I just want to spend my day with my girl, is that too much to ask?" He smiled, kissing your forehead, one hand holding yours, swinging back and forth, the other holding a large cup of coffee in a tight grip. 

You reached to loosen his fingers, taking a sip, slurping loudly, making him laugh. You decided you liked this laugh much better, it was breathy and free, a melody to your ears. 

You noticed how he was more relaxed and back to being that ray of sunshine. Back to being your Tom.

Thanks for reading! also as a side note- here’s a similar fic @itsallyscorner​ !!

[orthodox-femininity]

Reconciliation of Nature and Reality

I want to be a stay at home mom. All I want in life is to have a gaggle of children with my husband and never have to worry about leaving the house and neglecting the most important developmental years. I want to fulfill my obligation and nature given to me by God.

Right now, however, I work a full time job in politics and digital marketing. Which, to some of you, may sounds incredibly contradictory. And it is. More and more everyday, I wish that I could just quit and leave.

This job, this line of work, work outside the home in general is just not suitable for someone like me. I'm sensitive, emotional, and think too much with my heart. That's not a bad thing, that's actually a good thing because that it what I am made for. However, I have a job where I break my back 24/7, even weekends because politics never stops, for clients who are rude and uncaring and only care about their pockets. Issues like being pro-life, pro-traditional nuclear families, pro-gun, etc. are not things they actually care about. They care more with lining their pockets and getting their names in the media.

I find it extremely hard to reconcile my current reality with my ideal reality. I feel hypocritical quite often when I tell someone that a woman should not work outside of the home or even home mindset (for those who work from home) but then I turn around and here I am writing emails and placing online ads.

I know it's not really my fault, I have to do this for my fiancé and I to make ends meet and the American economic system has been destroyed since letting women into the work force. But wow, it's hard to remember that sometimes.

I think my point is here that if you’re in a similar situation, this is a real emotion to have. It’s not your fault that this is your current situation but do everything in your power to change what you can around you. You work in an office? Bake for your coworkers and wear a dress instead of dress pants. Work from home? Take your lunch break to clean the bathroom and start working on dinner. You can always do something instead of nothing!

-Scholastica

[itsadamcole]

but ... it’s valentine’s day

fem!reader x jon moxley

reader loves Valentine's Day, but Jon isn't the biggest fan of the holiday and he makes sure everyone knows that ...

word count: 2.2k+

warnings: kinda fluffy, public touching and a little teasing, smut

— we’re gonna ignore the fact that this is being posted almost 2 months late. okay? okay. —

masterlist || request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You walk back to your locker room after your match with Britt Baker. You're all sweaty and feel gross, even after you've wiped most of the sweat away. The match was for the number one contender's tournament, and you lost but you're happy for your best friend since she advanced, even if it was because she beat you.

The door closes behind you and you fall onto the little loveseat with a sigh. You close your eyes for a second, literally one second, when the door opens and you hear your boyfriend ask, "Why does everyone make a huge deal about Valentine's Day?"

"It's a day to show some extra love to your significant other," you say, closing your eyes again. "Balloons, chocolates, and romantic dates. You know, it's a thing."

Jon sits beside you and says, "I can give you balloons, chocolates, and romantic dates any day of the week."

You look over at him and say, "You haven't given me balloons or chocolates. Romantic dates, yes, but not the balloons or chocolates."

He blinks at you and says, "I don't have to give you balloons or chocolates. I give you the hottest sex you'll ever have, whenever you want."

"You do," you giggle. "Maybe I'd like some chocolates and balloons today though."

Your boyfriend moves closer to you and puts a hand on your thigh. "Or," he says, kissing your jaw. "I can just give you some hot sex again." A sigh escapes your lips and you smile.

Jon rubs your thigh a bit as you say, "I have to shower and I do want to at least do dinner tonight since it is Valentine's Day. Then after that, all the hot sex you want, baby."

He looks at you and asks, "Can I join you in the shower?"

"As long as you promise you won't try anything and actually let me shower," you tell him, standing up.

Jon nods and says, "I promise, baby."

He doesn't keep his promise. Not at all.

***

You get home after Jon turned a 20 minute shower into an hour-long shower. Dinner is very late because you had a match, and because of the long shower, but you still get dressed up to go out. You dress into a two piece red dress. The top is lacey, almost see through and has long sleeves. The neck dips low, revealing a lot of your cleavage, and it's cut like a crop top. It hugs your body. You know Jon will love that, especially since it reveals a decent amount. He'll also love the fact that the skirt is short and tight. You put on red heels and put your hair up in a high ponytail, adding some light makeup after. Not too much though.

Just so you can use it against Jon later, you don't wear any underwear. You're completely commando.

Jon waits downstairs for you. He sits on the couch and scrolls through his phone. You click into the living room and clear your throat. "Ready?" you ask.

Your boyfriend looks up from his phone and his eyes almost bug out of his head. "Damn, baby," he says. "I don't know if I can make it through dinner with you looking like that."

You walk over to him and stand behind him. He's looking back at you as you lean down, putting your hands on his shoulders. You say, "I have a surprise for you after dinner, but you have to be good. Okay?"

Jon says, "I can't promise you that. Look at what happened last time I promised you I wouldn't do anything."

"Touche," you giggle. "Come on. Dinner then sex, I promise."

Your boyfriend reluctantly gets up and leaves with you to go to dinner.

Both of you decided on the way home that you would just go to a nice place that wouldn't be completely booked since it's late on Valentine's Day. Most couples would be home by now so you're hopeful to get a table pretty quickly.

You do have to wait a little bit. You sit with Jon in the waiting area on a comfortable bench that's cushioned. Jon sits very close to you. You look over at Jon, saying, "You better not do anything, Jon. Or no present for you."

He holds his hands up and says, "I'm not doing anything to you, baby. I promise. See? Hands are up and I'm not touching you."

A smile forms on his lips and you shake your head, a smile forming on yours. "You are really testing it," you say.

"I'm not testing anything," he says. "But I still don't get romantic dates on Valentine's Day. I can take you out whenever you want to. Why couldn't we stay home and have sex or something."

You say, "Because Valentine's Day is about spending the day doing romantic stuff. Not about how hard you can fuck me, Jon. I know how hard you can fuck me and I've learned the hard way just how hard you can fuck me."

He snickers a bit and says, "You really couldn't walk for the rest of the day."

Laughing, you say, "I couldn't. That was your fault."

Jon smirks, proud of himself. You take his hand and rest your head on his shoulder.

Soon after, your name is called. A table is ready, and the hostess leads you to the table. Jon sits adjacent to you and you begin looking over the menu.

Younger couples surround you in the restaurant. The couple that are parents are probably home with their kids at this point.

A waitress comes up to you and Jon, saying, "Hi, my name is Andi and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I get y'all to drink?" She has a slight southern accent.

Jon says, "A bottle of your finest wine for the table, please."

"Anything for you, darlin'," the waitress says, writing down Jon's request. You blink at the waitress as she walks off.

You continue to look over the menu, trying to find something to eat. It's a fancy restaurant so there are steaks and there are pasta dishes. You're not really in the mood for anything specific.

The waitress comes back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Okay, what can I get y'all to eat?" she asks.

You say, "I'll have the broccoli chicken alfredo. Can I get some extra alfredo sauce on that please?"

She nods and asks, "And for you, handsome?"

That little comment made you a little angry, you won't lie. You stare at Jon and he says, "I'll take a 12 ounce sirloin steak with mushrooms and onions. And for the sides, I'd like a loaded baked potato and french fries."

He got french fries. He knows you love french fries and he knows you'll snack on them. A smile forms on your lips.

The waitress nods and walks off. You pout a bit at Jon.

"What's wrong, babe?" Jon asks, looking at you. "Are you feeling okay? Sore from your match?"

You say, "She was flirting with you."

Jon reaches out and tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ear before he says, "I didn't notice. My girlfriend is looking sexy right beside me."

Blood rushes to your cheeks, warming them. Jon laughs as you blush. "It's not funny," you say.

"You're cute," Jon says. "And I love you."

You smile a bit and say, "Okay, fine. I love you too."

He leans over and pecks your lips. When he pulls back, you lean into him and press a longer kiss to his lips. One of Jon's hands slip between your thighs under the table. You put your elbows on the table and put your head in your hands. You look at Jon as his fingers slip further up your skirt.

A soft gasp leaves your lips as Jon surprisingly discovers you're not wearing any underwear. A mischievous smirk forms on his lips. "You're leaving yourself vulnerable to me, Y/N," Jon starts.

"You are not fingering me in the middle of a restaurant," you loud whisper at him. "So help me, Moxley. No surprise for you."

Jon chuckles and he just plays with your clit under the table. You have bite your lip to stay quiet. You feel yourself getting more wet with every movement of his fingers. This goes on until your meals get to the table.

Both of you are very turned on at this point because of him teasing you and touching you under the table so after you're done eating, Jon pays the bill and quickly leaves with you. You get in the car, and Jon gets in too. He drives to your shared house. You've taken off your heels by this point so you can get inside quicker.

It takes about two seconds for Jon's lips to find yours as soon as the door is closed. He presses your back against the door as you start to unbutton the buttons on his nice button-up that he wore to dinner. He quickly sheds the shirt and it drops to the floor. Your tongue slides into his mouth.

Jon's hands are on your thighs before he picks you up. You wrap your legs around his waist as Jon walks into the living room. He drops you on your back on the couch, breaking the kiss. You sit up and undo the button on his pants. You can see the very obvious bulge in his boxers when you pull his pants down. You trace the print of his dick for a second before you pull the boxers down.

You gently begin to stroke his member. Jon sighs softly before grabbing a handful of your hair. "Be nice and suck it," he almost commands.

"I didn't hear a 'please'," you say, smirking.

Jon says, "The only time you'll hear the word 'please' tonight is when I'm fucking you and you beg me for more."

The dirty talk is definitely a turn on for you. You bite your lip and take his dick in your hand before you take him in your mouth. You begin bobbing your head, using your hand for what can't fit in your mouth. Jon's hand is still in your hair as he begins to thrust into your mouth.

You hum around him. You know that drives Jon crazy. Your hands are on his thighs and you grip a little bit. Jon grabs your ponytail and tilts your head back after a moment, his member sliding out of your mouth. You stare up at him and wait for him to do something.

Jon takes off the top of your two piece dress before taking the skirt off. He smirks when he sees that you’re now completely naked. He knows you went completely commando under your dress.

“You’re so bad, Y/N,” Jon tells you.

You grab his wrists and pull him onto you. He braces himself on the back of the couch and looks at you. “I had to learn from someone, didn’t I?” you say innocently.

He pushes you onto your back and puts your legs over his shoulders. “I know you learned from me, Y/N,” he says.

A smile forms on your lips as Jon lines himself up with your entrance. Without warning, he slams into you. It’s not as painful as it used to be because he almost always starts out like this when you have sex. You’ve gotten used to it, but it feels more pleasurable than painful.

“God, fuck,” you cuss. “Do it again.”

He listens to you and thrusts hard into you again. You moan out his name and grasp onto the couch cushions. Jon hovers above you as he begins to repeatedly slam into your core. Your moans are loud almost from the start.

Jon goes harder and harder every few thrusts. You gasp and moan. When he finds your g-spot, you scream, “Jon! Right there! Please don’t stop.”

Your moans and the sound of skin slapping fills the house. You grasp onto Jon’s arms, digging your nails into the skin as he fucks you.

A pit forms in your stomach and you know you’re close, but you still need to give Jon his Valentine’s Day present.

So, much to Jon’s surprise, you roll so you’re straddling his dick, which is still inside of him. Jon stares up at you and you begin to bounce up and down on his member. Your moans are loud and his hands are on your waist.

The pit in your stomach explodes without warning and you release around Jon, moaning his name. Jon cums inside of you, not wanting to dirty the couch cushions. You’re okay with it.

You collapse onto Jon’s chest. You bury your face in his neck and he wraps his arms around your shoulders. Both of you lay and catch your breaths.

“Best Valentine’s Day sex we’ve ever had,” Jon pants. “You need to top me more often, Y/N.”

A smirk forms on your lips and you say, “With pleasure.”

[angstyaches]

Ooooh you have a delicious writing style- it's so descriptive! I'm afraid I'm quite new so don't know your characters much yet, but if this scenario could fit I bet you'd write it amazingly! Perhaps Character A is down on their luck, longterm or short-term wise, and is walking through town, having not eaten since the morning prior. Suddenly a store window catches their eye, displaying all sorts of amazing baked goods or meat cuts, and they can't help but stare while their hunger pains have them wincing openly. Character B notices them staring before Character A even realises what they're doing.

Agh, what a beautiful prompt. I think this is actually the first hunger fic I've written on request, so thank you, anon! I hope it’s okay that I used fancy pizza; I really wanted to use Payton for this and pizza is one of the few foods they would genuinely go weak over.

Pre-Payton and Autumn Getting Together

CW: hunger, hunger pangs, stomach noises, mentions of character unable to afford (decent) food, stress, overwork (it's Payton, what did we expect?), food mention

___

Payton sighed as they felt the drizzle start to fall around them. They stepped under a deserted bus shelter and stared out, wondering if the rain was going to get worse before it cleared up.

It was a fitting end to the day – or rather, the week – they’d been having. They couldn’t wait to get home and take off the stifling shirt they’d worn to a job interview that morning and then worn all the way through their shift at the café. They just wanted soft clothes and their bed and maybe a podcast to fall asleep to.

It all seemed so far away still, their energy sapping by the second and leaving them stranded five minutes away from the tram stop. Their feet stopped moving, rooting them to the pale grey concrete.

A gorgeous smell turned their head. Frantic interview prep, snooty employers, and stuffy clothes all faded from Payton’s mind. They were stopped across the street from the city’s most expensive food store. Built into a complex from the late 1800s, it was the kind of place where a sandwich cost €12. The kind of place that sold imported goods and “foodstuffs”.

An elaborate window was positioned behind the delicatessen section of the shop, where a chef was artfully piecing together a pizza on top of a copper paddle while another sat in a brick oven. The smell of the crisping dough must have been piped out deliberately onto the street, to entice those with money to burn, and to tease those without.

Payton fell into the latter category lately. With all the time they’d been spending on interview prep and assignments, they’d been taking shorter shifts at the café. Rent was going to clean them out this month. Today’s shift hadn’t even been long enough to warrant a full lunch break; they’d only taken fifteen minutes, and had spent thirteen of them taking a nap at the break room table.

Only now did they feel the twists of hunger in their stomach, the shakiness in their legs. Payton didn’t even realise that they had edged closer to the bus stop so they could sit down on the bench, one hand resting on their belly. Their stomach hurt, and it really was no wonder when they thought about it.

The last thing they’d eaten had been a bowl of cereal at seven a.m., the same cereal they were planning to have for dinner when they got home.

Payton’s stomach groaned unhappily at the prospect, and Payton groaned too; I’m right there with you, they thought miserably, rubbing at their stomach and continuing to watch the pizza chef through the window.

They didn’t know how long they grimaced and gazed across the street before they were interrupted.

“Payton? Hi!”

Payton jumped, head snapping up to see who’d said their name, and their heart skipped a beat.

A navy polka-dot umbrella sat over her shoulder. She was wearing tight leggings and an oversized sweater, her shoulder-length hair thrown into a lazy side-bun. She was wearing no makeup and looked a little sweaty, like she was heading home from the gym or dance practice.

She was a sight to behold, as always, even as she fumbled with her umbrella.

“H-hey,” Payton stammered, stumbling to their feet and trying to appear as though they weren’t so light-headed they were seeing stars.

Autumn glanced across the street, her eyes lingering there for a moment. “Uh, you don’t take this bus, do you?”

“I – no,” Payton admitted, glancing at the timetable and list of stops. “I was just sitting. Long day. Spaced out a bit.”

“Yeah, I could see that,” Autumn said, glancing across the street again. She let out a little laugh, though she seemed to consider holding it in for a moment. “I thought you were going to start drooling.”

“What?”

“The fancy pizzas.”

Payton’s heart dropped. Their face was feeling hot under their bangs. “Oh, I, uh, I didn’t even realise I was… staring.”

“Don’t be embarrassed! I watch them all the time when I’m waiting for the bus,” Autumn laughed.

Payton still blushed deeply, since they’d had no reason to sit down at the bus stop except to stare through the shop window. They were suddenly hyper-aware of their hand resting on their belly. They felt their stomach quiver under their palm, a low growl working its way through.

“You doing okay?” Autumn sat down on the bench, nodding for Payton to join her. She didn’t seem to hear the complaint from Payton’s belly. “Feels like forever since we last talked.”

“Y-yeah, sure does,” Payton half-laughed. Their shaky legs and dizzy head were thankful for the relief as they sank back down, leaving what they hoped was a healthy number of inches between the two of them. “I’ve been, um… I’m okay? I think. And – and you?”

“I’m actually… I’m great,” Autumn grinned, tucking some hair behind her ear. “I, um, I just found out today that I’m going to be Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors.”

“Are you serious?” Payton smiled, their mood genuinely lifting a bit at the sight of Autumn’s proud, shy little smile.

They often envied her for her absolute passion for musicals and acting, since they were failing so spectacularly at finding their place in the film world, but right then Payton was happy just knowing she was happy.

“Yeah! I still can’t really believe it.”

“I can.” Payton extended a long arm to pull Autumn towards them. “You’re brilliant.”

“Agh – ew, P, you don’t want to hug me!” she laughed, pulling her shoulders up tightly. “I’m all sweaty and damp!”

“I don’t care!” Payton wrapped their arms around her and pulled her close, so that their cheeks were just inches apart. “Your news deserves a hug.”

Autumn gave a deep, happy sigh as she leaned into the hug, probably unaware of the fact that the contact was setting Payton’s heart racing. It almost felt selfish, holding her like this when they were clearly getting more out of it than she was. They went to remove their arms from her, their chest fluttering as she buried her face deeper in their shoulder and kept her arms firmly around their waist.

It was lovely.

And yet, for the first time in a while, Payton felt a pang of loneliness, their core aching with the knowledge that they couldn’t hold her like this all the time. Deep in their bones, Payton wanted to kiss her hair, tickle her sides, and whisper happy little declarations of affection in her ear.

They didn’t whisper anything to her, though. They didn’t say anything as they held her. But their empty stomach was still twisting itself into shapes, and it clearly didn’t get the memo on holding Autumn quietly. A sharp growl had Payton wincing and trying to clear their throat (to cover up the noise) all in the same breath.

“Whoa, is that your stomach?” Autumn asked, lifting her head from Payton’s shoulder.

Payton’s body stiffened. “It… might be.”

“Are you okay? You must be starving.”

“I’m… Yeah.” Payton swallowed hard, letting a hand rest on their belly again.

Autumn moved back to give them some space. She was staring like she expected an explanation, eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed. Payton’s stomach rumbled under their hand again, bringing a twist of pain, and they didn’t know if they wanted to laugh or to cry.

“I guess I haven’t been taking care of myself too well.” They flinched again at the crack in their own voice.

Lifting her umbrella from where it had been resting against her leg, Autumn got to her feet. “Come on.”

Payton looked up at her, blinking behind their bangs. Exhaustion weighted them to the bench. “Come on where?”

A little hum escaped Autumn’s throat as she jerked her head. Her umbrella popped open and she stepped out of the bus shelter. The rain pattered against the fabric, a little heavier than it had been before.

“We’re gonna go eat pizza. Not – not there,” she clarified, gesturing towards the expensive deli. “I was thinking top floor of the Greene Centre. They sell by the slice and it’s super cheap.”

Payton swallowed again, guilt piling itself on top of the embarrassment. They felt as though they’d somehow coerced Autumn into offering to buy dinner, and the thought made them physically shudder. They got to their feet and moved a little closer to Autumn so she could hear them.

“I probably still can’t afford it,” they mumbled, staring at the ground.

“It’ll be my treat today, okay? You can pay me back by letting me ramble about my show.”

Payton gave her a shaky smile. “Are you sure?”

“Hundred percent.” That shy smile crossed Autumn’s face again. “It’s gonna sound weird, but when I found out I got the part… You were the first person I wanted to tell, Payton.”

“I... Really?” As they chewed their lip, a deep rumble came from Payton’s tummy. They frowned and folded their arms around it, noticing how Autumn's gaze drifted towards it too.

"Come on, I can't listen to your poor belly complain anymore." She lifted her umbrella a little higher with one hand – Payton was a few inches taller than her – and stuck out her elbow for Payton to link their arm through hers. “Shall we go?”

[writerfae]

Modern AU headcanons about Henry and Callan

I talk about modern AU Aiden and Talon so much it's time to talk about these two sweethearts instead

Henry is a plant dad

Callan does yoga

their students all ship them pretty hard

Henry once broke his leg and Callan insisted on nursing him back to health

Callan is a couple months older than Henry but he keeps teasingly calling Henry an old man (because sometimes he behaves like one xD)

they call each other "love" 🥺

Henry also either calls Callan other cute nicknames or he calls him Cal but almost never Callan, except for if Callan is in trouble or he's worried for him

one of Callan's favorite phrases probably is "that's my husband". he brags about Henry all the time

Henry talks a lot about his husband too. sometimes he'll bring a something to eat to work that Callan made and if asked he's all like "Callan made it for me <3"

as young boys they would often go eat ice-cream together when Callan visited his aunties over summer break and even now, years later, Henry still takes him on ice cream dates each summer

the two met when they were six, which means they know each other since before Aiden was even born

they act like an old married couple most of the time

they cuddle a lot. kissing too of course. being affectionate lies in the family

kings of PDA

a friend of Callan once said they are "disgustingly cute"

sometimes they do "very adult things" (Callan's words, not mine) like going to dinner parties and brunch with their friends

they have date night once a week and it's holy to them

so is eating breakfast together tbh

SLOW DANCING (that's it. that's the whole hc)

have I mentioned Henry is quite a decent singer? no?

anyway sometimes he sings in the shower or for Callan and it's the cutest thing

like... they're dancing in the kitchen and he will quietly sing along to whatever love song is playing for Callan and it gets Cal all flustered and ahhhhhhhhhh

he also reads books to Callan sometimes cause his voice is really nice

actually they take turns reading to each other, they have already spent many rainy evenings like this

Callan learned how to bake Henry and Aiden's mother's apple pie just for Henry cause it's his favorite pie and reminds him of his mom

Henry cried when Callan first made it for him

Henry sometimes brings Callan flowers

they love sitting on their porch during warm summer evenings and enjoy the quiet together

once when it was winter and a lot of snow fell they had a snowball fight in the backyard

they like bathing together

they sometimes share pyjamas (Henry wears the pants and Callan the shirt)

they don't usually share each other's clothes, just some mornings Callan will wear Henry's button down shirt (it still gets Henry flustered even after years of dating)

getting Henry flustered is one of Callan's favorite hobbies

that picture of them kissing when they won their last volleyball match in high school that was in the newspaper? Callan loves it and has a framed copy of it, it stands right next to their wedding picture

Henry always says that Callan isn't just his husband, he is also his best friend

I should stop probably. This is getting too long again. And I'm getting too emotional. I love them.

more about the modern AU

(using the Knights of the Alder tag list this time, I hope that's okay)

tag list: @shattered-starrs @soupopoireau @a-ray-of-moonshine @quill-of-doom @heyabella @vibinwiththehomies @elisabethrosewrites @charleeyy @iced-ginger-tea @hell-yeah-fantasy @violetcancerian @that-one-potato-blep @annoyingwritingtrash @stardustspiral @shipdest @writingqueensworld @imintheunderworld @thewalkingnerdx @abalonetea @andifthestarsweretodie @fictional-semantics @cordaks @kpmccolgan @deekshablogs @myhusbandsasemni @magsiswritingnow @a-box-without-hinges @meiyanaalexia @contes-de-rheio @rhikasa @phantasticdomains @thegirlwithnonickname @marewriteblr @kimblewrites @daisylincs @treesandwords @writingbyjillian @write-for-your-life2 @deadlycupid @yejidoesthings @nora-theteawriter @ladywithalamp @the-writing-avocado (if you want to be added or removed from the tag list let me know!)

[undergrounddweller89]

(look you don't have to like this, I'm not expecting anyone to, I just needed to write and if there's the possibility that even one person was hoping I'd write more and enjoys it then that's cool, just don't be a dick about it, it's more house mate au stuff, don't hope for continuity by that I mean it's just all over the place and nothing makes sense , just expect what ever came to my head at the time lol)

Walter was sat at his work table, fiddling with one of his new devices working on to perfect it, no I can't think of anything specific so I'll let you fill in that with your imagination.

The day had been long, his lab assistant Timothy Lawrence (Yea that Timothy if you know him because reasons) had been pretty quiet but done as told so at least that made it easier.

He was tired as the day had gone on his mood had sunk, what was he doing teasing Killian like that, honestly spanking him with the hair brush, he knew some of the things Killian had been up to.

But it was more likely a sign of marking territory or just because he had needs right and it was exciting to do things where you shouldn't.

The blade he was handling slipped and ran across the pad of his index finger, he hissed in pain, seeing the blood smear under the blue latex, pooling to drip, focusing on the red colour he hadn't even noticed Timothy running to fetch the first aid kit.

Pulling his gloves off he discarded them and popped open the box that had been set on the table.

"Thanks Timmy."

Walter smiled a little as he tended to his finger, he hated how the skin felt parting every time he flexed his finger.

Cleaning up and applying what was needed, thankful it wouldn't need stitches.

He wondered what Killian was up to, watching TV, reading maybe, did he eat, did he have enough to drink, was he in a depressive mood, was he mad that hed spanked him, he really should send a message.

Pulling his phone from his lab pocket he texted him.

'Hope you're day has been good, hope you're well, sorry if I upset you this morning.'

He shifted and rubbed a shoulder, he didn't realise how stiff his back had gone, being in charge of a division meant he'd somewhat lost track of self care making sure to do his stretches.

Timothy stood here watching his boss, lot better than the last one, this one was kind and genuine, always looking out for people, honestly Beckett made him feel safe and relaxed, he wasn't looking for anything serious but even he could see that furrowed bow and the lean that spelt hey I'm exhausted let me die.

Walking around and behind him he slowly massaged his shoulders, they were small and rather petite for someone Walter's age but it was more lean muscle and just body build, he just hadn't seen many men like Walter where he'd come from, he was rather pretty.

Walter had considered telling him to stop but when his fingers pressed into that one perfect spot in his shoulder blades he melted, ooooh that just felt so damn good and shit when was the last time he'd had contact, had someone be closer to him...he liked Killian...wondered if they could be more, but he didn't believe for one second that they could be lovers or bed fellows for one moment...not that he wouldn't be interested in finding out but Killian had been there a month, like he wasn't going to make him uncomfortable and feel like that the only way he could stay was if he dated him.

(I keep forgetting times or how many days set shrugs just don't expect like decent continuity, I write these because I need to just write things and moments)

Walter leaned forward arms folded and face buried in them

"Sorry sir, am I doing that badly?"

Timothy's enquired nervously, his hands going still.

"No, please don't stop, I literally didn't realise how stiff I was, you have good hands, I'm just so tired Timothy, I could really use it if you don't mind that is."

"Not at all sir."

Tim smiled happy to know he was helping, yes much nicer than his last boss, Walter was smart but he was also fragile, like him he loved his mother and when he'd heard Walters mother had died when he was small he wanted to scoop him up and just hug him.

A talk with Lance at one point and he'd learned that was a natural reaction for anyone with a heart around Walter who didn't have their head up their ass.

Which had practically been the last tech department Beckett had worked in, that totally wasn't cool that they'd done that to such a brilliant mind, it was so much fun working on items that didn't kill people and actually helped them!

Walter was imagining the fingers loosening the knots in his back were Killian, wondered what that would feel like with those pretty metal claws, but he never forgot it was Timothy, after all Timothy deserved more respect than that.

Looking over his shoulder at him, auburn hair flopping off to one side, Tim's hands on his waist he noticed the subtle blush.

"You wanna go grab some dinner or something in a minute there's a corner café I know, makes steak sandwiches and baked potatoes with a perfect crispy skin, a warm meal sounds pretty nice don't you think?"

Tim in the angle he was in was trying not to think about how suggestive this looked, he would absolutely lean down and kiss Walter if he thought it was an option, it really was a casual thing he felt, but Walter just looked so pretty and like he needed someone to carry him right now.

Continuing to rub his back Timothy nodded

"Yeah that sounds pretty nice actually."

---

At home Killian had found plenty to do, he'd read, watched tv, all in Walters bed of course, just to feel close to him as he could, he did wonder after handling himself, if Walter could see him as anything more than a friend, someone more than a few passing jokes between the other...turning his head and taking in his scent as he buried his face into a pillow again, looking forward to seeing those blue eyes...he should really get out of Walter's bed and get the covers washed.

Beckett brought comfort to his mind after his years of suffering, the sunrise after the storm.

He'd talked to Lovey, wondering if she could understand him, she was surprisingly responsive to his rambling as he worked on his arm, updating the tech and keeping up with maintenence.

Living here with Walter and slowly working past things with Lance and seeing he had genuinely started changes of his own, it made it easier with how Walter talked about him on the job, that he considered all options before violence and discussed the situations with him...it was good to know Beckett had helped Lance to.

He was glad to know Walter's field partner was a good one, though his lab partner, this Timothy Lawrence seemed to be pretty chummy didn't he, he'd seen a picture, thick brown hair, heterochromia eyes, blue and green to be exact and a chiseled jaw, in other words a damn pretty boy and he didn't want him around Walter.

He huffed folding his arms, yes he was jealous he was going to be pouty, before his injury he had thick black hair and had been known to be a very handsome man, now he looked like he'd been put through a grinder when he took off his holo mask and this Timothy Lawrence just had to be Walter's lab partner, he'd be around him alot and-

His phone buzzed, it'd been put on the side table and he read the text that'd come through and there was another one.

'Going out to dinner with Timothy, don't know what time I'll be back, have fun you probably need a break from me anyway lol 😂'

Killian's eye twitched, he nearly threw the damn phone, but how would he explain that, honestly he couldn't, Tristan sighed, shoulders drooping a little and answered his questions

'It's been a relaxing day, did work on the arm, Lovey' s surprisingly easy to talk to, watched a little television but perhaps you could suggest something to watch, it's rather hard deciding with all these options and no Walter you didn't upset me, though you left in a hurry, you do not need to avoid me. You're not a bother. Are you alright?'

'I'm so happy you're warming up to her! That's awesome! Also it's good you have time to relax, ten years of hectic stress you're more than overdue! I...well I was more embarrassed than anything, I reacted on instinct, last boyfriend liked that well that's probably more than you needed to know, but yeah I'll help you pick something to watch see you later!'

Last boyfriend? Spanking, Walter had, he had...Killian shifted well the blankets were starting to tent, the idea of being put over Walters petite lap and being told he was a very bad man came to mind.

He liked it.

A lot.

He looked at his phone as it pinged again.

'And god damn it, make sure you eat something for dinner, don't just go picking out the cupboard!'

Killian snickered and replied

'Yes Daddy, I'll make sure to eat something.'

After sending the text he realised what he'd written and wished he could take back that text, wincing as he managed to look at the response

'Behave, eat dinner or I'll put you over my knee young man.'

Killian stared and stared at that answer, he knew Walter was just teasing but, his cheeks were warm and he was...was he blushing.

----

"You all set to go Timothy?"

Walter smiled, his back was feeling a hundred times better after Timothy had dug into the knots, it wasn't a surprise that he was good with his hands, you had to have nimble ones to work with the tech they used here.

"Yeah, just coming boss!"

He pulled his satchel over his shoulder after pulling on his old brown leather jacket

"Please Timothy don't call me that, call me daddy."

Walter laughed at how silly that sounded

"I'm sorry, pfffft don't call me that god please, no, Walter's just fine."

Tim had paused a moment a slight fear he might have a streak like his last boss after all but that laugh was too warm and giggly and just shook his head with a smile

"Wouldn't dream of it Walter, you're more of a kitten anyway."

Timmy felt his insides tighten a little and there was that hint of Jack Dna surfacing.

"So shall we go?"

Beckett enquired looking up at him, huh he kinda looked like Killian, just a little.

"Ready when you are."

And with that they were off.

(Alright end of this ramble, Timothy has been thrown in because I needed the gasp drama of prolongation and shit and didn't have the energy to create an oc and honestly I'll mash anything from anywhere if it's convenient bleh)

[fashournalist]

Just finished watching To All the Boys I've Loved Before: Always and Forever! Now I can't stop listening to Beginning Middle and End! Sigh, it's perfect for hopeful romantics like you and me.

Also it was my first time to attend a watch party via Scener, thank you for the invite, AJ sist!!! Am happy we got to hang out again even through a virtual movie date. Someday we'll attend film festivals when the pandemic is over, looking forward to the day cinemas open again!!

Time flies indeed. I just finished reading TATBILB book 3 on May 11, 2020 and I couldn't wait for the movie to come out and now it's here!! (Trivia: I shortlisted 30+ books during Big Bad Wolf 2020 but could only afford seven books. So I got six nonfiction (as a nonfic junkie) and only one novel—this was that novel.)

I'm glad it showed that love shouldn't hinder the pursuit of dreams; and they can grow together (both as individuals and as a couple) even when they're miles apart. I've seen people do that. One of my favourite power couples studied at Harvard and UPenn respectively, and their relationship made it. They're now happily married and I'm so happy for them. Relationships like these are goals :))

I can't help but compare the book with the film, but I enjoyed the movie in itself, too. 🥰

Some changes:

It rushed the proposal to Trina;

It totally simplified the promposal to Lara Jean;

It didn't show the initial conflict between Margot and Trina

It didn't show Stormy's passing (would have been a really sad scene huhu) and Lara Jean meeting John Ambrose again.

Lara Jean also gave the memory box instead of making a scrapbook.

Peter didn't give her the best tasting cookie in New York, but it's good she tried it herself.

The film also didn't show the conflict between Lara Jean and Peter's mom.

But if there's a change I liked, it's that Peter told Lara Jean their first ever meeting through the dedication he wrote on their yearbook. In the book, Peter wrote a really short dedication (and Peter gave Lara a hot photo of him so she could post it on her dorm room haha).

I also liked the little film surprise that Kitty had a happy crush on Dae!

Oh and of course, the major changes include the schools. And I actually liked it. Though the book has beautifully captured the campus of the University of Virginia, the plan B with William and Mary, and the plot twist of University of North Carolina, I think changing them to Stanford, Berkeley and NYU made it more relatable to a worldwide audience because they're more globally well-known.

Overall, it's a film that gives you all the feels while at the same time excites you to dream big. It tackles hard topics as well such as dealing with grief and growing up in a broken family.

I felt the bittersweet feeling when a trilogy or series that you love has ended.

I could relate with Lara Jean a lot, especially on the first movie when she never had a boyfriend yet and she was just writing letters. I love letters! And I never had a boyfriend, until today. Never been kissed, never had an MU or whatever haha. Though on the dreaming side, I could relate more with Margot. I'm a huge dreamer and I want to see the world. As for Kitty, I see the little me in her. Mataray, doesn't sugarcoat. But growing up, I've become more of Lara Jean with my quirks and very sentimental self. I'm also a daydreamer like her, and an idealist. Oh and, I'm a homebody! Give me books and movies and they'll be my date haha. Am a hopeful romantic. Although, I don't bake. But I make scrapbooks since I was a kid. I put art in everything I do. And I also wore literal gift ribbons on my ponytail in highschool haha. I hope, like Lara Jean, I find my Peter K someday (or actually, John Ambrose haha). But not anytime soon. Because unlike LJ, I think I want to pursue my master's degrees (yes, plural, that's the plan hahhah and yet here I am not even applying to any school so far) as a single woman haha. Well maybe unless I meet someone who can change how I feel, someone who will not hold me back from reaching my dreams, in as much as I will not hold him back from reaching his. But until then, it's best to be single haha! As a solo traveller, there are still so many countries to see on my own. Okay I'm daydreaming now hahaha!

Thank you, TATBILB and Jenny Han for giving us LJ and Peter K. Thank you for the feels and the pastel aesthetic and the great soundtrack. Thank you for introducing me to Leah Nobel's music!! (Am now in love with Coffee Sunday NYT and Talking to the Dog at the Party, aside from Beginning, Middle, and End!)

I wish I saw more of Josh Sanderson, though (I had a second-lead syndrome during the first film!! And I loved John Ambrose, too. Jordan Fisher is one of the best)

And thank you for making me want to go back to New York because clearly I have only seen less than 0.1% of it :(

I love how you captured a glimpse of NYC's splendor in just a few minutes! Of all the places you showed, it was only Times Square that I've seen in real life. But in time, will be back, experience the city, taste the same cookie Lara tasted—the best cookie in the world. And more. I'm daydreaming again haha! Here's a little selfie I had five years ago at Broadway 😄

For now, will take a break as my Dad and I are scheduled to watch Godfather II after dinner : ) Someday I will take him around the world!!! Amen in Jesus' Name <3

Omg I was just typing this and then Dad told me stories (right now) about his dreams to travel the world and we're going to places for lovers or astronomy. He's one big astronomy junkie, I tell you.

Who needs a date when I have the best date in the world, my Dad!!

Advance happy Valentine's Day, world changers!!

[mynameisminhooooo]

They get to spend all of quarantine with their s/o (Monsta X)

Request : Hi!! Could you do an exo and/or Monsta x reaction to getting to spend all of quarantine with you?

Sorry I put in bullet points bc it's felt like it made more sense? Sorry if you didn't like that. I also included what y'all would do. Bc why not¿

Shownu :

Omg this precious little bear was beyond excited to spend quarantine

Like as soon as his manager said plans were cancelled until further notice he ran out of the practice room

"Y/n I'm staying with you during quarantine..."

"Oh. Aight"

Your guy's quarantine consisted of laying in bed from the moment you woke up till 4 pm

As well as making a lot of food

And taking baths bc social distancing who?

Leads to other things 34% if the time, bc why not??

And of course singing together and him teaching you how to dance to all the songs

Cooking with this dude, where do I start

100% chance of making a mess

Would knock over bowls of side dishes while trying to grab a towel to wipe his hands

Just smiled at you when the food is all over the ground

Talking to the other members over the phone during dinner so it was like you guys were all eating together

Taking food to the other members and leaving it on the doorstep

One time they came outside before he was able to run back to the car and he was convinced he was contaminated

You had to spray him with Lysol to make him feel better

Him just being a whole lil bear the whole time

You guys would go on walks when you'd feel couped up too much

Y'all would be that extremely cute ass couple during quarantine

"I'm so glad I got to spend my quarantine with you" he'd say while kissing your forehead

"I love you y/n"

"I love me too, but your cool too"

"That's not funny" cue pout

Wonho :

Would literally be so happy to spend time with you

Hasn't seen you in like 2 weeks because of his rigorous schedule

When he finally gets to you're guy's apartment he'd just drop all his stuff and run to you, wrapping you in the biggest hug

You guys would eat until you couldn't breath

Ordering take out everyday sometimes for all 3 meals

You guys would take an online art class because why not

Video chatting his family and ofc the members to make sure everyone was well and healthy

Calling his mom 3 times a day

Would be the person who stocks up on toilet paper

Disinfecting everything every morning

Singing karaoke every day after dinner

Doing workouts in the living room because you guys gained weight and he wanted to watch his gorgeous figure

You'd help him write lyrics

You guys would try to be productive and do fun things like read at least once every other day

He'd be so happy to spend time with you like omg

Would literally cry when he looked at you sometimes bc he just loves you that much

Your guy's favorite things to do was lay in bed in each other's arms

"I wish we could stay like this forever, I love you so much y/n"

"I love you too, but can you let me go I have to pee really bad"

Your guy's quarantine would honestly be so fun

Minhyuk :

Would honestly act like he didn't want to spend time with you

"I guess I'm stuck with you"

\(-_-)/

"Your so lucky to have me, huh because I bought food"

Supports every small business and buys from all of them so they'd keep going

"I'll have 3 jars of kimchi, 2 bowls of kimchi jjigae, just give me half of everything"

"Minhyuk where are we gonna put all this the fridge is full"

Gives almost all the food to his family and the members

Buys like 2,264 board games

"Hey, you wanna play Monopoly I'll let you win"

Once again \(-_-)/

Fights about the dumbest thing

"I wanted to buy boardwalk!"

Throws your character off the board

Another person who stocks up, but he bought all the ramen

Your guy's quarantine would be so unproductive honestly

Like you guys just sit around playing board games

Listening to music all day everyday

Going for walks when the sun went down

If he sees an animal on the street he is bringing it home for "safety reasons"

"Look y/n this poor pigeon was left on the street"

Did I mention \(-_-)/

"Minhyuk... It's a pigeon"

Dancing throughout the house

He broke the TV while doing a twirl

Blames it on the pigeon, who you guys have name Piggy

Trying on each others clothes

But at the end of the day he'd be so happy he could spend his quarantine with you and Piggy

"I guess your ok to spend time with..."

Kihyun :

He would be so happy to spend time with you

Would be the most precatious person

"Put on gloves y/n"

"I'm changing the channel..."

Would 10/10 spray down everything before you guys touch it

You guys baked a lot during quarantine

Burning almost everything

Would try to make jokes the whole time

They were not good...

He would try to teach you how to hit the highest notes

Him almost breaking the window

Singing together while reading

Would call every member every day to see how they were doing

You guys would try gardening together because you guys got bored

10/10 the type of dude to telling everyone to buy from small business

If he saw anyone in the street outside the window, he'd yell at them

"Get inside!"

"Do you want to die?!"

You guys would people watch

You guys tried everything possible to pass boredom

Yoga, Singing, Staring Contests

If you got sick would literally call an ambulance

"They want to know if you have a fever, are experiencing lethargy, or have a cough?"

"Kihyun I just have a stomach ache"

Would be so relieved when he just found out it was just gas

He would not let you leave the house

"I really care about you, I cant risk you getting sick"

"You do knows there is a 3% chance of death right"

"But I wouldn't be able to see you"

Wow, whatta man

Hyungwon :

He honestly would be one of those ppl who didn't take it very very serious

"You wanna go to the park?"

"We can barely leave our house to get food?!"

"Ok, loser"

Was happy to spend time with you, but he wanted to actually do things with you like go to dinner

He just wanted to spend quality time with you

You guys would just lay in each other's arms everyday watching TV

Blinds closed letting no light in

The members would call you guys because after 3 days of nothing they were worried

"Oh we're fine, we've just been eating, sleeping and watching TV"

You guys would watch watch every variety show they have been on

You guys would try dying your hair by yourselves

"Wow y/n this blue is really nice"

"Blue it was supposed to be lilac"

How???

Shopping online for everything, food, clothes, furniture

"Y/n we need a new couch I just bought one"

\(-_-)/

You guys got erasable markers and literally drew on the wall

But they did not come off...

He would be kind of sad that he couldn't take you anywhere

But being the cutie he is he'd find ways to do cute date ideas at home

Jooheon :

"Guess what I'm coming home for quarantine!!!!"

Literally couldn't wait to hold you in his arms

Would cry when he came home, because he gets to spend time with you for who knows how long

You guys just hold each other and cry

Would follow you everywhere

If you went to get the mail he'd go with, if you needed to run to the store to get food, he's right by you

"Why is the door locked??? Y/n, you alive? Did corona get you???"

"Don't break the door down! I'm taking a bath"

"Ohhh, let me in!"

This little jerk picked the lock

You guys just sat in the tub for like 3 hours talking about what you should do during quarantine

Things you would do together during quarantine include sitting in the tub for 3 hours everyday

Calling his sister every day so he could talk to his cute niece

He would teach you all his rap parts from every song he could

You guys would send the members a goodie package every week with food and toiletries

Because he worried about them

You guys would take online dance class

Because why not???

Tango, Rumba, Foxtrot, Meringue

He would enjoy every minute with you

You're guys little vacation came to a halt when he fractured his fibula after falling down the stairs

He felt bad that you had to take care of him

But he was so grateful to have you by his side to help him

"Y/n you don't have to get up I can go to the kitchen to get a fork"

Could barely get off the couch

"Just please sit hear"

"So like you wanna bang?"

"No, I want you to get better"

After he got injured he just got so sad that he couldn't do anything with you really anymore

"I love you y/n"

"I love you too"

I.M :

He already was used to seeing you basically everyday

The only difference was you guys got to stay home

You guys didn't even have to change your schedule

He was grateful that he was able to wake up to you every morning tho

"Good morning, cutie"

"Why are you so close??"

Would be so nice the entire quarantine

Need him to wash your hair, just yell for him

Need something off the top shelf

He got it covered

There would be days where you guys just laid in bed the whole day though

You had online school throughout this time

"Y/n hang out with me!¡!¡"

"I'm doing homework for my English class"

"But I'm cuter than English class"

*insert pouty face*

Would try to get in your pants every other hour

You'd let him because ofc

"No, not now Changkyunnie..."

"Yes, now... Pleaseeeeee"

All the members would worry about you because you guys were the youngest and they thought you wouldn't take this seriously

Y'all did though, you only left the house for food

"Y/n am I cute?"

"No, now go to sleep"

"But I love you and I miss you"

"I'm right next to you and it's 3 am"

Bro. Idk why but this drained me I'm gonna write the exo one different bc I literally ran out of ideas of what to do doing quarantine.

[juminsmysticmc]

Okay here is another idea. It would be rfa + minor duo: An MC that works at a daycare. I know it's not very detailed but I'm fine with it being taken in any direction you want.

RFA + Minor Duo with a Mc who works at a daycare 

Thank you for everything you do my love! 

Jumin

One day, right after your honeymoon, Jumin arrived home earlier than expected. 

However, you were missing.

The young man couldn’t reach you on your phone and all possible thoughts haunted him.

Did someone kidnap you? Perhaps you escaped on your own? Was there something wrong?

Jumin Han’s fears hit him as he tried to find out what happened to you.

However, when the bodyguards told him that you went out with a bag in your hands Jumin lost hope.

,,She escaped. I won’t try to take her back, or maybe that’s what she wants?’’ Jumin said out loud.

,,Are you troubled? Tell me,’’ you suddenly asked him, kissed his cheek, and went to the bathroom to wash your hands.

,,Yeah. My wife escaped and I wonder what I should do now. What do you think, Mc?’’ he asked you and looked up.

,,Huh? Mc? You came back?’’ he suddenly jumped up and looked at you.

His heart grew warmer. Was this happiness?

You chuckled and nodded.

,,You also come back after work, so why shouldn’t I come home?’’ you laughed. 

Well, the atmosphere got awkward. Jumin Han didn’t even know that his wife was working.

But then you reassured him and told him that you actually kept it hidden on purpose.

,,I think your job is amazing. Thanks to you, children have the possibility to play with other children and learn different kinds of things. When they have a Nanny, they perhaps can’t make any friends,’’ Jumin nodded as you told him about your part time job in a daycare.

Zen

,,But you need some time for yourself. You need to rest too!’’ Zen complained when you told him that you wanted to become his manager and keep working at the daycare center.

,,I know, but they are both part time. Besides, I don’t think that it’s hard. It’s almost like taking care of my own children,’’ you told him, trying to reassure him.

Zen’s eyes shined when you told him your feelings over your job.

,,I also want children by the way…’’ he told you, making you laugh.

,,Perfect, because I want you to become the father of my babies,’’ you confessed.

Sometimes Zen even came to your center to look at you from the window and observe you playing with the children.

Often you looked over their shoulders and sometimes it seemed as if you were helping them with homework.

,,You indeed do a lot of things at work, don’t you?’’ he asked you.

But nevertheless, Zen was amazed.

Every child was different, but you still managed to take care of them all and love them as if they were your own.

Yoosung

,,Are you okay?’’ Yoosung asked you when you came home.

You let go of your bag, jacket, and threw your body on the couch, beginning to sob immediately.

,,Hey, Mc, what’s wrong?’’ he asked you.

You sadly looked at him.

Something must have been wrong at work. You were the kind of person who loved her job with her whole heart.

As soon as a child felt sick, you felt responsible.

But that was also the reason why Yoosung loved you that much.

,,I- am I even good at what I do?’’ you asked him, sobbing into his shirt.

Yoosung nodded and then asked you the reason for your insecurity.

,,Today was the most hated day in my job - we needed to tell the parents about their children and I know that something is wrong with Dan-i. She can’t talk yet and she needs therapy so that she can finally talk. But the mother didn’t want to listen to me and said that if she’s too lazy to talk, it’s better that way! That’s not how a mom should be!’’ you kept crying.

Yoosung nodded.

Sometimes parents made decisions for their children which weren’t always right.

,,Listening to a stranger may have made her feel bad. Give her time and call her in two days. I’m sure that she paid attention to it by the time,’’ Yoosung told you, making you feel much better.

,,My co-worker is bugging me,’’ you kept going.

,,For the children’s health we need to sanitize the mats, but she just won’t do it!’’ you complained.

Yoosung quickly grabbed your cheeks and made you look at him.

,,You’re the team leader in there. They need to listen to you. For once, you can make them feel that you’re their supervisor!’’ Yoosung told you.

Like always, your husband had the perfect words to make you get up in a good mood the next day and overcome the day once again.

Jaehee

,,Have fun!’’ Jaehee laughed as you left the house and the coffee shop in her care.

You were still three times in the week for four hours working in the Daycare.

You just needed the balance between baking cakes, making coffee, and serving clients.

Working between children was totally different for you.

However, both jobs were challenging and as soon as the weekend came, you couldn’t wait to fall asleep next to your loving girlfriend.

,,How was your day?’’ she always asked you.

,,I’m feeling worn out and… sick?’’ you mumbled.

Jaehee mumbled, thinking that you were just sleepy from the hard day. However, she quickly realized that you were actually sick.

,,I hate it…’’ you mumbled, feeling bad that she had to be alone in the shop once again.

,,It’s normal. You are with children so it’s normal that you get sick too. Just rest a lot today,’’ she always made you feel better.

However, your job wasn’t just exhausting.

There also existed these beautiful days when you could successfully teach a kid something and got praised for your hard work.

Saeyoung

,,Have fun playing!’’ Saeyoung laughed as you were about to leave.

However, you stayed in the same spot for a few seconds more.

,,You know,’’ you began ,,working the whole day in a daycare isn’t as easy as you think. Of course, we can do a lot of fun things such as watching Disney movies or reading a book together, but I would like to see you change a diaper.

Or to make a toilet break, tidy up dirt, poop, and food,’’ you responded.

You lived and loved your job and whenever someone said that working in a daycare was a joke, you got angry.

Because it wasn’t.

Saeyoung kissed you and apologized.

,,I know that you do more, that you write reports, make lesson plans, keep a close eye on all the children, take care of them, and often your job is heartbreaking.

I’m sorry if my joke was tasteless,’’ he honestly told you and smiled at you again, lifting up your mood.

,,Thank you Saeyoung,’’ you whispered and really went to your students.

Saeran

,,It’s amazing!’’ Saeran smiled at you brightly when you told him that you would start in a daycare.

You were crazy about children, wanted their best, and you wanted to help children.

You wanted to make homework assignments with them, keep an eye on them, teach them how to walk, eat, and talk.

You wanted to love them and make them feel loved.

But one of your other reasons was that you wanted to keep a close eye on children who perhaps could have been abused.

You didn’t want anyone to have to live in pain like Saeran and Saeyoung had.

You wanted to do something for children.

Of course it was hard. You first had to take a lot of tests, pass on different things and learn a lot of different stuff.

And your pay wasn’t even high.

You had to tidy up vomit. A lot of vomit.

And for the first time, you even got awfully sick when a kid was sick too.

The worst was that whenever you got sick, Saeran would get sick too and since he was kind of weak it always worried you.

,,It looks like we got immune,’’ Saeran laughed as he thought about the last illness you told him about.

You nodded and hugged him.

,,Let’s have a child on our own soon,’’ you told him, making him feel ready too.

Jihyun

,,I look up to you,’’ he confessed one day when you arrived home with Lucy who was at the same centre as you.

You smiled at him and asked Lucy if she would please wash her hands first. You did the same and went into the kitchen and prepared dinner.

,,Why?’’ you asked Jihyun since he praised you out of nothing.

,,Well,’’ the blue haired man began.

,,You go there with our daughter, take care of her and a lot of other children. You teach them how to eat, take care of themselves, make them take naps.

You don’t have time for yourself, you prepare for the next lessons, and I just think that you are amazing, Mc,’’ he ended.

You nodded and looked at him, you knew perfectly what he wanted to say with his words.

,,You know, you did a great job with Saeyoung,’’ you told him, placing your hand on his cheek.

,,Saeyoung is so thankful to you, and we are too. And even though you have the feeling that some things didn’t work out the way you wanted, always think about it: someone else is thankful to you and things that you did great. Besides, it was your first time taking care of a child and you were young yourself,’’ you told him, your husband who blushed and thanked you for the compliment you gave him.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

30.03.2020// 00:01 MEST