#I'm a whole grown ass man so I wouldn't feel comfortable with that

[lorenzo-waterman]

Man.. You are so cool 😔can we be friends

Me? Cool? Anon you are sorely misinformed I am afraid </3 but thank you anyway!! I'm honestly kind of bad at maintaining friendships/one on one conversations though :(

[37-drc89]

the way things go; lee minho

❁ nothing warms your heart more than his presence.

trope: roommates to lovers.

genre: comfort, slight angst, work exhaustion, happy ending.

summary: finally understanding that your failure doesn't scare him away.

warnings: blood, mention of overprotective parent, family problems, let me know if i should put anything more in here.

word count: 3,7k.

masterlist

note: this is very much my first fic here, like, ever. i'm still green in tumblr, any links and mostly making posts look good, but i'll eventually master it. i look forward to seeing your opinions and things i can change or make better, i'll appreciate every comment. and, please remember that english is not my first language! if you see any typo or something doesn't make sense, please inform me! thank you:)

Coming back home on Friday after whole week of working your ass off really feels like a walk of shame. You feel like everyone passing by can tell how awfully you did at your workplace today. And they wouldn't be wrong, the amount of scolds your boss threw in your direction through past few days is worryingly numerous.

Whether it was missing out on paper work your boss asked you to do for him, because you were so sure the deadline was set on the day after, or accidentially knocking off of your desk whole cup of hot, sweetened tea that later on you had to scrap off of the covering, under the strict eye of the middle aged man that scared you so much. Especially with the amount of misfortune that chased after you lately, like it was glued to you.

Cringe makes its way to your face. You're shuffling your way to your apartment, not really in a hurry, feet lazily dragged after you as you didn't even have any strenght to properly lift them off the ground. You most likely look like you've been partying for at least three nights in a row, but you can't find it in yourself to care about it. Not now.

Seeing the building in which your apartment is placed have never felt so relieving and you can feel your legs giving up under your weight just at the thought of splashing on the bed and dozing off. Vision of passing out on the sidewalk doesn't seem appealing to you, so you rush yourself to the door, typing entrance code and walking into the elevator, stairs not even crossing your mind. Your tired body slumps itself against the wall as you patiently wait to get to the 6th floor, finding relief in having something to support yourself on. Finally getting to the door you can't help but feel excited, tapping your feet happily just at the thought of making up every hour of sleep you've missed this week because of your busy schedule. You slide the door open and the very first thing reaching your ears is eager meowing, three fur balls appearing at the entrance immediately. You can't help but smile, kneeling to give each of them gentle head pat before taking off the coat and shoes. This truly felt like a bliss, like you've just slid off a bag of stones off your back. Sigh leaves your mouth, heading to the kitchen you turn on the kettle as your tea craving grows with every second. Soonie appears next to you, sitting at the table just across from you. You've grown so friendly with your roommate's Minho's cats that neither you nor him have any problem with kitties occupying places people normally wouldn't let them sit on.

Then you freeze for a second.

You look at Soonie.

Soonie looks at you.

Your brows furrow and the cat goes back to whatever he was doing previously.

Fuck.

Minho is coming home today. He's been away for past five days due to his business trip, that was probably exhaustion fogging your mind enough to forget about this. He's coming back today. And your apartment looks like a bomb has been detonated right in the middle of it all. You can't risk him seeing how messy you got, Minho is always the one to put stuff at the right place, making his bed no matter in how much of a hurry he's in, always the one to do the dishes and basically make everything look perfect. You can't see him disappointed in you for such an easy thing, he'll think you don't even gather your life together. Not like you do, but it's nothing in his business, you shouldn't become another one of his problems. He's just your roommate and the only thing you share and should take care of is apartment that is now in complete mess. You can blame it on your lack of time, barely spending any time at your place recently, but that won't help in current situation.

Quick glance at the time, 4:23 pm, you reach out for your phone to scroll up the conversation with your friend to make sure how fast you have to act.

He's back in town at 5 pm. Could this possibly get any worse?

You scold yourself internally for letting this whole situation happen. But you don't have time to think about this now, and as you turn off the kettle you speedrun to the livingroom, gathering scattered clothes from all around the place. You blame it on Monday when you got up so late you didn't even have time for brushing your hair and of course, the shirt you were looking for was nowhere to be found. Out of all things, it was the one you needed that day.

Then you pick up empty cans of soda, bottles of water and cups of coffee from the table and quickly throw them into the dishwasher. You blame it on Tuesday, the night you realised you have to write that fucking paperwork you got scolded for missing on Monday. So you sat there for hours, head empty, taking breaks only when your tired tears started wetting your pages, scared that all your miserable efforts will be ruined.

Rushing to Minho's room you pick up blanket and pillows from his floor. You blame it on Wednesday, the day you were already on the edge of breaking down and giving up on your job. Even though the boy is only a roommate for you, you've grown so used to his presence you started finding peace in it. Even after the worst day you knew that someone will always be there waiting at your apartment to serve you cup of hot chocolate and bowl of ramen, to take your turn of folding laundry or just listen to how appaling your day was. But he wasn't home and it left you all to yourself which was never the best idea. So, seeking for at least tiny bit of comfort, you slept on his floor. That sounds so fucking stupid and weird when you think about it now, but just the aura Minho left in his room made you feel a bit closer to him. Reminds you of every time he invited you over to play some online games for 12 year olds or spill any tea that happened at his work. Though, you never wanted to interfere his private space, so sleeping in his bed didn't even cross your mind. Floor was just sufficient for you, and you let your tears flow that night, just as much as you needed it. You know he would understand. He might seem cold to others, but you know he would. He already unwrapped his side of him to you letting you see that truly, inside, he's softer than anyone you know; It's all for Soonie, Doongie and Dori. They really do get the best of Minho.

Going back to the kitchen, you gather empty boxes of instant ramen, snacks and every ready shop food that you could possibly find at the convenience store. You blame it on the whole week of rushing, not even having time to eat a proper meal. You can feel it down your stomach, body demanding anything that could properly feed it and give it any strenght to function as it should be functioning. Honestly, you can't recall the last time you didn't feel sick. Lump in your throat was your loyal companion since a week ago, constant urge to throw up not leaving your body even when you were falling asleep and you know you'll have to appreciate normal, nutritions food more.

You run around the apartment holding a wet towel, wiping quickly every mirror hung on the walls as you know nothing pisses Minho more than fogged glass. So you try your best to do it carefully, just like he does it. Reaching the last mirror placed in the front hall you eagerly wipe it, aware of your lack of time. Then it all happens at once.

Shitty food, lack of sleep, liters of coffee and ungodly amount of stress feel like kicking in all at once, like it's been gathering in your exhausted body for the whole week just for this one moment that you needed to be fucking careful.

Vision blurry, feet suddently tripping over itself, mind going blank just for a second, but second is enough for you to try holding yourself onto the small table placed right under the mirror and shaking it so hard when sudden thump reach your ears, followed by loud sound of shattered glass. You don't want to look. Because you're fully aware of what just happened. You don't want to look but you do. Eyes landing on the remains of now broken vase, water all over the floor, flowers that were resting inside it now cut in half and completely soaked.

And it was Minho's favourite vase. The first and the last thing he always glanced at when leaving or coming back home, admiring its beauty, pretty patterns, unique shape and the prettiest flowers inside. Flowers that he got for his 25th birthday that passed not so long ago from his dearest best friend Jisung. Flowers that he was so happy to receive, first thing he did after coming home that day was showing them to you, proudly, ranting about how they perfectly suit the room. And you ruined it all.

Your body slides slowly on the wet floor, water soaking your pants on your knees and you support yourself on the palms of your hands not to completely fall into the mess. You feel small pieces of glass ripping open your delicate skin of your hands, small streams of blood making their way to the floor, mixing with spilled water but you couldn't care less. Elbows start to shake under the weight of your body, shoulders tensing and your head falls, your own quiet sobs reaching your ears. It quickly turns into uncotrollable groans and whines, tears now flowing down your face with no end, nose already full, loose hair stick to your now completely soaked cheeks.

And you blame it on yourself. You could seek for anything to put his all on, like your boss, for making you feel useless for not even managing to do your fucking job properly and assigning you more work than anyone else in your department. Or your mother for not teaching you how to manage your time and how to function on your own, her overprotectiveness during your childhood and teenage years showing so often that you never even got any time to learn adult life before stepping into it. But you know it isn't their fault, no matter how hard you try to think that it is. You let yourself into this situation. You let yourself be in the state you're currently in. You didn't try hard enough to make yourself a decent person. There's no one you can blame but you.

Your endless cries must've muffled the sound of door cracking open, eyes reaching only feet of your roommate that was now standing at the entrance. You couldn't look up, even if you wanted to, you couldn't look Minho in the eyes. Not when he's witnessing your failure and the mess you made out of something so dear to him.

Meanwhile Minho stood there, body frozen, gazing at your tiny figure splashed on the floor, shoulders shaking. He doesn't even notice the crashed vase at first, your current state drawing all his attention immediately to you.

He doesn't give himself any time to think much longer about what's happening in his front hall right now, dropping bags he's been holding in his right hand and suitcase on his left and appearing at your side the second after, kneeling by your vulnerable body on the floor.

"Hey, hey.." Minho lightly lays his hand on your shaky back, carefully caressing it to soothe you. "Easy now, I'm here."

The only respond he gets is your dramatic, loud sob ripping out of your heavy chest. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Minho... Is the only thing you could get out of yourself, followed by another set of pretty disgusting, wet cries.

"Are you hurt? Let me see your hand, please," your roommate asked quietly not to scare you after noticing red coloured drops beside your knees. Gently, he took your harmed hands into his and studied small pieces of glass stuck in your skin. "Let's get it cleaned, okay?"

His hand makes its way to your waist and he stands up slowly, careful not to make any sudden moves that could put you in pain. He shuffles you to the bathroom and helps you sit on the toilet seat and starts preparing alcohol and wet towels.

You feel pathetic.

Not only you ruined his special item, something so important and beautiful, but now he has to take care of someone that caused all the damage. You feel helpless once again, like you couldn't do anything fucking right for once. Once.

Your caring roommate starts removing glass shatters from your wound, his tongue sticking out a bit from the corner of his mouth, fully concentrated in his task. He knows that if his hands twitch even a little bit, he might hurt you even more, and let me tell you, his hands are trembling. He can't recall a situation when he saw you in such state.

You always seem tough, tough against any misfortune that meets you. You surely talk to him when you need some shoulder to lay on, about your worse days and he's cautious enough to notice when you're exhausted. But he's never seen you at your breaking point, starting to believe you don't have any. Yet you're here, in front of him, not even being able to speak properly. He can't help but feel kind of relieved at the whole situation knowing that your hard, protective shell cracked a little bit, letting him see something he's never seen in you before. Weakness.

"This might sting a bit," Minho informs you as he presses alcohol soaked paper to your wound. Whimper leaves your mouth at the unpleasant feeling and you hang your head down. He quickly wraps bandage around your hand and clasps it between his warm palms.

"Hey, you don't have to worry about that the hall. I'll take care of it, okay?" He tries to lower himself, kneeling in front of you, so he can get a better glimpse of your puffed face. You shake your head and straighten your back, looking at him with serious expression.

"No." You sniff, "No, I broke it, I broke something so important to you and it's my fault. I'll clean it. I'll buy you a new one, the same one, I promise Minho."

His hands make their way to your back, slowly, eyes remaining on you for any sign of discomfort. When you sneakily lean into the touch, Minho pulls your body entirely towards his, clasping your weak figure into his arms and sways you left and right, wanting to feel your muscles relax in his embrace.

"What's wrong, hm? My roommate senses are tingling," his voice muffles itself by pressing his mouth against your shoulder, "Talk to me, y/n, please?"

"I had the worst week ever here, without you."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You just shake your head no, holding onto his waist tighter than ever. You feel him nod. His calm aura pulls you in completely, feeling like walking into hot building during snowy, cold winter. Your cheeks warm up, pressing right below his neck, his body warmth transferring itself to you.

"It's lowkey weird." You choke out, coughing right after because of how stuffed your poor throat felt.

"What is?"

"You comforting me while I'm sitting on a toilet seat."

You manage to let out throaty chuckle to light the atmosphere up, however, you can't help the warm stream of tears flowing right after.

"Want to move it to the livingroom?" Minho pulls out of the hug slightly, setting his gaze at your red face again and your eyes make their way to the floor. You still haven't looked him in the eyes, not even once, as you're scared of the wave of guilt that will follow. As if the one you're feeling right now isn't enough. You feel like a child scared to get shouted at by their parents.

Minho crouches down in front of you and you hum in question, brows furrowed. He only gestures with his hand for you to hop onto his back, already positioning your legs on his hips. You groan but don't protest, you know how Minho is and you know fighting him is hopeless. Wrapping your arms around his next securely and glueing your chest onto his back, you melt into the warmth of his body. He stands up, feeling your breath tickling the skin behind his ear and smiling to himself, noticing how it got much steadier than it was before. He leads both of you out the bathroom and again, the sad view of Minho's favourite vase on the floor, not really looking any similar to vase anymore, hits you, shoving another wave of guilt through your nerves. You close your eyes and rest your forehead on your roommate's shoulder.

"I'm truly, so, so sorry Minho. I never meant to do this, I was just trying to make the place look presentable for you and it ended like it always does." the words left your mouth as quiet squeak, taking another deep breath before speaking again; "Yet you still have to clean the mess I did, like you always do. I don't deserve it, I don't deserve you. I failed being your perfect roommate."

"Who said I wanted a perfect roommate?" he asks as you reach your shared couch, carefully laying you on it then sitting by your side, facing you. "You think I'm mad at you, but I'm not. I've broken like five vases in my life and none of this was anything I planned, just like you."

You finally find some strenght in yourself to raise your gaze and lock it at his round, dark eyes. And he's right, no matter how intensively you look into them, you can't find even a tiny bit of anger in them, they sparked with understanding and you find yourself feeling bad at even thinking someone this precious could get so mad at you. They were so pure you could see your ugly, messed up reflection in them. Before you could start thinking about this again, his eyes squinted a little bit as corners of Minho's lips curled upwards in the most beautiful, sincere, affectionate smile you've ever seen. You only realised that his hand was placed on your trembling knee when you felt his fingers caressing it softly, sending warm shiver through your whole body.

"What about the flowers? You loved them..." You turned around to take a glimpse of the mess once again but Minho quickly grabbed your chin with only pads of his fingers and made you look back at him. "I'll take over from here, you get rest now."

Just as he was about to stand up from the couch you grabbed him by his sleeve and almost agressively pulled him right into your arms, crashing in the tightest, breath taking hug as you truly couldn't believe you had him by your side. Just when you thought you crossed his boundaries by that sudden action and started to loose your grip on him, he dragged you right back to him like he was waiting for this moment to happen. His heart pressed to yours, he definitely could tell how fast and heavy its beating right now. Both of yours eyes closed, you just enjoyed this such intimate moment, very first one since you've moved in together. Neither you or him dare to make a move in fear of ruining this beautiful scene.

"Thank you," you murmur into his neck, so quietly you're not even sure he heard it. "only you can endure me as your roommate. How are you not tired of this?" Chuckle leaves your mouth but you quickly tone it out in case he responds, Well, I am actually tired.

"Because you're the only one that can endure me, too." He pulls out of the hug, though he doesn't move too far away, being so close to your face you could feel his minty breath on your nose. "I guess it's just the way things go."

Next thing your brain processes is his perfect lips landing on yours in swift motion. Suprisingly they're not rough, not even a little bit, they're so soft you barely feel them at first. Your heart goes up your throat for a mere second, dropping back down the moment he caress your cheek gently with his warm hand, now covered in the tiniest layer of sweat caused by the adrenaline. When your body finally understands what's going on, you lean into him completely, hand going up on the back of his head, tangling into his soft, dark hair and Minho takes is as a sign to continue, now pressing his lips onto yours with more force, making sure you feel them properly. A sigh of relief leaves both of your mouths and you smile into the kiss. When you eventually just slightly pull away from each other, faces still close, you notice new emotion making its way into his eyes, overtaking the rest as he studies every part of your face carefully. It's love. His eyes are full of love. Its so intense like it just have been freed from his chest after months of hiding in the deepest corners of his heart.

There's still so much you don't know about him and there's so much he doesn't know about you, but the gate has opened now and there's no turning back. You don't know what any of this means yet, but you can think of it tomorrow. Or in a month. Or in a year.

For now it's just you and him. And that's what matters the most in the world.

[myanmy]

Unrequired feelings

I LOVE ANGST!!!!!!!

Summary: You fell for Jack and you thought he liked you too, only to be proven the contary.

Word count: 1720

Warnings: cheating? But not cheating because they weren't together. (as you can see I'm very good with warnings)

Your relationship with Jack had always been weird. In the beginning it was because you were a woman and he wasn’t used to having that just yet on his ship, but he felt obligated to help you, since he was partially the reason the house you worked so hard on building burned to the ground. You were rightfully mad and against all your survival instincts, went to have a talk with the famous Captain Jack Sparrow himself and let him hear a piece of your mind. When you somehow manage to find his ship the men on his crew refused to tell you where the goddamned pirate was, but you had previously heard a lot of stories about him and the most famous one was that he was a drunk who spent the majority of his money and time on rum and women. Luckily the rumors had been right and you found him in the second pub you search, mentally you ask yourself how the hell the hundreds of people searching for him didn’t already have him locked up, the man was as obvious as a rock. You ordered him to repay the damages for your house and he obviously didn’t have that amount of money on him, so instead he offered you a deal and now you are sure you weren’t in your right state of mind, because you had accepted. 

Eventually your relationship had gotten better, the nasty looks you gave him stopped and you had even grown to like the dumb and yet so lucky bastard. Your relationship with the crew had also grown immensely, at first they seemed skeptical and even disappointed in their captain for bringing a woman on deck, but with time some just learned to accept you while the majority had become your friends and at some point you had began to see them as a family, a family that supported each other, saved each other asses while also annoying the shit out of you.

Your interactions with Jack had become strange to say the least, you would spend the whole night on the deck while drinking rum, him managing to drown a whole lot more than you, but still. You would talk for hours and hours and when there was nothing else to talk about, you would stare at the sky, laying on the wood floor of the ship while lost in your own separate thoughts, the silence always comforting and never awkward. That was until the next morning, where Jack would avoid you at all costs, when you asked a question he would answer with short answers and didn’t even bother looking at you, when he felt hungry and was planning to get something to eat, he wouldn't call you to eat with him as usual. The urge to punch his beautiful face was always huge, but you also wanted to understand what was going on with him. How can someone be talking all night about their life stories and the next day just act like you are a complete burden? 

Then Elizabeth Swann came, you didn’t hate the girl, god knows she’s in a worst situation that you are, however you didn’t like the fact that now Jack had all the time in the world for this girl he just met. It was one of those nights, where the sea was quiet and for some reason sleep just didn’t seem to be your friend today, so you grab a robe beside the bed and wrap it around yourself. Jack had stolen the robe from a rich old woman’s house and gifted it to you, saying he thought of you as soon as he saw it. The rich fabric felt like clouds in your skin, making you warmer against the cold that was surely out on the deck. You make your steps as light as possible, aware that the wood creaked with the smallest of movements. You open the door to the main deck, only to hear voices on the quarter deck above you, two voices to be precise. One you had learned to like quite a lot, the other you were just growing accustomed to. You hear Jack telling Elizabeth one of his unbelievable stories he had told you, followed by her laughing and adding a few questions, only for him to answer them quite excitedly, just like he had done with you.

You feel a weird thing in your heart, the feeling traveling up to your throat and you felt like you were back to when you were a little child, holding the tears in while telling yourself how stupid you are and how you’re over exaggerating it. You stay there for a few more minutes, your body and mind telling you to stop and listen, maybe he would leave some details out while telling that story to her, maybe he wouldn't tell her the most sensitive topics he had told you, because he had said that he hadn’t told that story to anyone else and had only told you because he trusted you, right? Right?

You stayed long enough to figure he wasn’t leaving any part out and slowly closed the door, hoping they wouldn’t notice the sound of it closing. Luckily because you were a girl, the crew had agreed that it was better if you had a little place for yourself and didn’t sleep in the hammocks between the men, you thought they were being mean and just didn’t want to be close to you, however now you were totally glad they did it. You weren’t sure if they had done it because they just didn’t like you back then or simply wanted you to be comfortable and in the process make themselves comfortable, that didn’t matter now, but you sure were glad and thankful that you had your own small tiny room for yourself. You laid on the bed and let the tears fall slowly, telling yourself that it was okay to over exaggerate while you were alone. In the morning when you wake up you can go back to the non feeling and definitely not a sad person that had lost one of the most precious friends they had.

The next weeks kept going on like this, some nights you would awake late at night and open the door to the main deck slightly, hoping there would be no voices and while sometimes there weren’t, most did and you would go back to your room, each night crying a little less.

“What’s goin’ on lass?” Gibbs asks while you try to tie some knots to keep everything in place.

“Nothing.” You answer, swiping the sleeve of your shirt on your forehead.

“There’s definitely somethin’. You aren’t even looking at him with the angry stare.” He adds.

You sigh, talking about your feelings were not something you were good at, especially when you yourself wasn’t sure what exactly you were feeling. “It’s nothing Gibbs.” You feel his eyes on you for a few more seconds, making it obvious he didn’t believe you, but eventually gave up and walked away.

That night you couldn’t even close your eyes properly and decide to try the deck, praying to whatever god was listening that they weren’t there. When you open the door the slightest bit and don’t listen to their voices, you almost let out a long breath, only when you open the door a bit more and look up, you see them…kissing. One of his hands is around her waist while the other is on the back of her head and her arms are around his neck, their lips meeting in a hungry kiss. You normally would manage the tears until you were back in your room, this time however they flowed as you watched, watched as she had everything you wanted. When you come back to your senses, you simply turn around, not caring about the open door, a clear sign that someone had been there, though you were sure they wouldn’t figure it was you.

You always knew Jack had his affairs, I mean, he was Jack Sparrow. His life involved around rum, the sea and women, but for some reason this one felt different and it hurt, it hurt so much. You didn’t want to admit it, but you had fallen for the pirate, even with you knowing it wasn't a good idea falling for a pirate, especially one with so much of a reputation. 

That night you spend crying and writing letters to your closest friends, Gibbs and some men in the crew you had befriended. You tried writing a letter for Jack, only to write his name and not a word surging in your mind after, so after hundreds of tries you give up and throw all the wasted paper on the trash. Tomorrow the ship would stop in Tortuga and you would wait until everyone got off before you put all the letters in the specific hammocks and then…you would leave. Leave this life behind, leave all the running and stealing, but mainly, you would leave him.

A short time after the sun had risen, the ship stopped in the port. Your hands were sweaty, your breath was short, and your pulse was pounding in your ears. You were nervous, and there was no way around it. This was a big moment, something you had been dreading for hours and now that it was here, all you could do was try to keep your head on straight. Your nerves were frayed, but you were going to do this, one way or another. 

After all you could hear were voices from outside the ship, the soft wind and the calm waves is when you start doing everything you had planned. You place the letters, each one gaining a tear dropping from your eyes, then you grab the essential things you had already placed in a bag. You take one last look around, flashes of good memories appearing everywhere you look, but unfortunately memories aren't enough to keep you here. You step out of the ship, knowing this was the last time you would ever be seeing it and as childish as it sounds, you mentally say goodbye, goodbye to everyone and to everything involving pirates, but more specifically Captain Jack Sparrow.

I'm writting new characters yay. Don't worry, I'll still write for Rick, trust me when I say that my crushes always stay the same, so at some point I'll write for him again. I've noticed that there isn't a lot of Jack Sparrow fanfics out here and it's so sad, I mean, it's Johnny Depp, have writers really not seen him as Jack? Anyways, so I thought I'd give it a try. Hope you guys enjoy it. 💟

[bimobuddy]

Gravity Falls TK Headcanons but it's only the characters I'm fixated on

I missed tickletober today, so take this instead

Some of this, especially in the Bill Section, will be out of character

Stanford

50/50 Switch

Obviously having grown up with Stanley, he's had his fair share of tickle fights. In some cases his twelve fingers give him the advantage, but at the end of the day, Stanley was stronger than him and better at roughhousing and usually won those

In his young adult years, that started to die down, until he met Fiddleford in college. It started off unintentional, Fidds was just a touchy, physically affectionate guy. One day he just meant pat his roommate's shoulder but his hand strayed a little too close to his neck and Ford ended up hunching his shoulders up with his breath hitching, and ever since it stopped being accidental

If Fiddleford thought Ford was working too hard for too long, skipping meals and sleep, he'd just go up behind him and slip his hands under his arms to scritch at his ribs, because it was the only way to convince him to rest. Ford was usually too tired to fight back anyway

Eventually though, Ford retaliated and he found out pretty quickly that his assistant was just as bad, if not worse than him

While doing research in Gravity Falls, he discovered the Leshy (changing the mythology a little here to be less dark and more Gravity Falls friendly, please forgive me) which is a forest trickster spirit that leads travelers from the path and may even tickle them. Ford met one that got him good, and was even fascinated with his extra fingers once they got a change to speak. That was the day he found out his knees were ticklish.

Being the only human lost between dimensions, people tend to get really curious about you, and even a bit touchy. It was pretty common for people to find out he was ticklish and then keep doing it because they found his reactions cute the same way humans think it's cute when a dog kicks its leg. He eventually got used to this

After coming back from the portal and having settled back in a little, he and Stanley sort of go back to being brothers. Stan hasn't changed at all, and one day he grabs Ford in a head lock, only for Ford to immediately go for his sides and get him to let go pretty quickly

One time he pinned Stan to the ground, arms behind his back, and just zeroed in on his ribs because he was being a pain. He wouldn't stop until Stan apologized for turning the house into the Mystery Shack

His worst spot is his underarms, it immediately renders him defenseless. He curls up and stops fighting because his body just gives up

His hands are also ticklish, but he's only ever let a certain previous banjo-playing partner of his tickle there. This spot gets him incredibly flustered since it's one of his biggest insecurities being adored and treated so gently like it's one of the most important things in the world

His laugh is really wheezy, airy, and uncertain because since he's not used to laughing that much

Stanley

Ler Leaning Switch, as in: He acts like a ler but it's also pretty easy to get him screaming if you can get past his defenses

If you manage to tickle him, he's VERY quick to pull the "I'm just an old man" card, but it rarely ever actually works because his family knows him. This man singlehandedly fought off a hoard of zombies and a whole ass dinosaur, he'll be fine

Before Ford came back, he was the family's biggest tickle monster, and could not be defeated. After Ford came back though, he was the only one that could get past Stan's swinging, grabbing, pushing, etc., to get him pinned long enough to tickle him, which immediately saps his strength and he's left just kicking and screaming dramatically

This dude's laugh is HARSH but the family finds it endearing because it's very him. The Mystery Twins even find it comforting after a while because it's their Grunkle, someone they look up to and feel safe with

His worst spot is his hips. If he's standing, his legs will just immediately give out. If he's laying or sitting, he immediately tries to bring them up and curl up while pushing at whoever is tickling him (usually Ford)

You can't have ears that big and them not be ticklish. They're ticklish. It's part of why he hates anyone trying to whisper to him, so he lies and tells people it messes with his hearing aid.

Loves to bother his twin. If he sees an opening, he'll slip his hands under Ford's arms (and catch him when his legs give out. It's a Pines trait.)

He's constantly scooping the kids up and going full tickle monster on them

With Mabel it's because he genuinely just enjoys playing with her, but with Dipper he thinks the kid needs to loosen up a little and get out of his own head sometimes. Also because he's well aware Dipper tries to grow up too fast, and a healthy dose of tickles from his uncle gets him acting like a kid again

He's the type to playfully growl when tickling someone

Big fan of tickle hugs because it's an easy way to trap a lee and get their sides

Bill

He will also use his stubble to his advantage when he can; on necks and bellies during raspberries

This applies to both of the twins but I'll put it here: As children, their mom used to sometimes tickle them, if they were sad, grumpy, or got into play-arguments with her

As much ler energy as he gives off, I think he's a 50/50 switch

Especially in a human vessel, with how much he seems to enjoy pain because it's a physical sensation he can't usually experience, I think he'd enjoy being tickled just as much

I think he'd be the type of lee to tease his ler and fluster them with how bold he is to ask for it. Like in a human form, I think he'd just plop himself in a ler's lap and raise his arms or something, he has absolutely 0 shame or embarrassment. The only reason it bothered him when Mabel tickled him is because he had a goal and he was trying to do something and she stopped him

Tried to use tickling as a torture method on Ford once, back when he didn't fully understand it still, and was shocked to discover the man didn't even really mind it that much. After all, he'd much rather tickling than something horrific like having his bones replaced with porcelain

In a human form, his favorite spots to be tickled are his tummy and back

A melt spot he ended up finding out about is under his chin, it gets him all soft and giggly

In triangle form, he can be tickled, he just never thought he could because no one ever tried

I think canonically he said dreamcatchers tickle? I'm not entirely sure how that works but it's canon I think?

He's small enough to be cradled in one arm and tickled with the other

I saw someone headcanon that his feet have toebeans, and I have to agree, and they're ticklish

Bill isn't one to start small and lead up to a big finale, if he finds a death spot, he will zero in on it until you tap out (which he will respect, because I said so)

Bill LOVES a good chase. If a lee runs from him, he loves to go after them and hunt them down, it makes the reward of finally getting them that much sweeter. (This is brought to you by that one scene where he pops up like "Peekaboo~!" in literally the teasiest voice)

Ford is his favorite Ler and Lee, he just loves to a nuisance in general to the guy

Sometimes he'll fluster Ford by filling his mind with teases and images but it also tends to backfire because Ford is just as good at teasing and he'll retaliate

Fiddleford

Ler Leaning (like 80% ler)

Having grown up on a farm, he's pretty used to roughhousing and wrestling with his cousins and friends

He used to play tickle monster with Tate when he was still a kid. Tate would go and hide while Fiddleford searched for him. Once he was found, he'd be scooped up into his father's tickling grasp while his dad playfully growled. (He was a good dad before he left)

In college he'd tickle Ford to get him to finally stop studying and get some sleep

Like many young adults in college, he'd get into petty arguments with his roommate over something small, and on more than one occasion he's wrecked the shit out of Ford if he ate something if Fidd's without asking

I also headcanon that he was friends with Stanley for a while while all three of them were in Gravity Falls together. On a couple occasions his southern sass would come out and both of the twins would gang up on him, usually with one holding him down because he's "farm-strong" despite being smaller

Even in the lab (Ford's basement), he'd still have to tweak Ford's sides a couple times to get him to stop working and go eat something or go to bed. Anything to get his more-than-friend-situation to take care of himself

[scarfacemarston]

You seem to be one of the few who can admit to that parallel of Arthur leaving Eliza and Isaac behind ALSO makes Arthur a “bad” father as well. (although he obviously regrets it & there may have been reasons.) .

I know it isn’t that serious, and they are just fictional characters but there are some who act as if Arthur can do no wrong.

I adore them both , but they’re alike in so many ways.

I don't know if it's a media literacy thing or what. The parallels are there on purpose, and I don't think people pick them up OR they don't want to. I'm so sick of some of the fans who think Arthur is perfect. He's not. The literal point of the story is he is not perfect. People act like he is their perfect baby outlaw who just needs a hug uwu. I love fluff; give me all the hurt/comfort, hugs, kisses, everything. I believe Arthur would love that, but don't forget he is a grown-ass man. He is literally 36, yet people infantilize him. Do people realize they're not doing him a service as a complex character when this happens? He is a literal killer, and his first instinct would be to rob you. That is who Arthur is for most of his life, and it's only until later in the game that he changes. However, that doesn't mean we shouldn't see the softer part; I'm just saying that people refuse to see the whole picture. They pick and choose what they want to see. We all do it.

About Isaac and Eliza: Yes, someone else made a GREAT post and I don't know if they would want me to give details about the post or their name because they could be targeted by the fandom, and I don't want that. But there was another great blog that brought up Eliza and Isaac, too, and I was so happy. I've been active in the fandom since RDR 2 came out. (But a fan longer than that) and it is only recently that I'm seeing a few posts about this.

Arthur is only marginally better than John with how he treats them. He brings them money, okay, how much? Is it enough for a single mother during this time period? I genuinely hope so. A child needs their father; how often did he see them? He was traveling to different states /regions quite often with the gang. Was it once a year, twice a year? More often than that? How does paying a bit of child support and occasionally dropping in THAT much better than John? I think he helps Jack and Abigail because of the guilt he feels towards how he treated Eliza and Isaac, and he is attempting to atone. It's just horribly sad it came too late.

On top of that, Arthur was a drunk for years. Hosea and Dutch both say this. I have all the audio files. There are plenty of files that talk about how the gang doesn't like it when he drinks. I've posted whole conversations where Dutch tells Arthur to stop going back to his drinking habit………………just like John.

You know who was considered an idiot like John? Arthur. People praise Arthur for being far more intelligent than people think he is - that's exactly how John should be perceived. People bash John for his intelligence yet joke light-heartedly about Arthur or defend him from the jokes. Yet Hosea and Dutch always talk about Arthur's intelligence.

You know who was considered a bit of a brute by the gang? Arthur. Arthur was considered a very angry, violent man. Hosea and Dutch are very clear on this. They mention how he'd use his fists rather than his smarts to talk about things. Who else is considered a very angry man? John. Who else used his anger to solve problems? John.

Arthur does not necessarily sound like a likable man at 26……………..Just like John. If we had a game set when Arthur was that age, we probably wouldn't like him as much.

There are parallels for sure, and I don't know if it's people who want to ignore it because they don't like John or if they don't see it.

[placentaeater999]

More Ramblings!

I forgot to tell you, my friends, that this May 10th or 11th marked 10 (ten) whole years since I first came out as a trans man!

(Im open to asks/questions/new friends, i believe education is an important part of the path to acceptance)

TL;DR: trans kids become trans adults, trans kids you absolutely fucking belong on this planet and you are loved and cherished, if not by your own family then by me bc im adopting you now as your older brother. My experience as a trans man is below the cut

I came out at the age of 11, back in early 2014, just before trans ppl and bathrooms had really started to catch the eye of the general public.

My dad was quick to support my medical transition, and while my ma took a moment, she got there. My dad ended up only really supporting me if i matched his machismo ideals, but this has gotten a lot better over the years.

I have been extremely INCREDIBLY lucky to be able to come out and successfully begin my transition at such a young age and every day im grateful for that. That being said, I lost a lot of family because of it. I lost close and important friendships because of it. I felt shame for such a long ass time because of it. I was bullied by students, parents, and teachers. I've been assaulted, Ive faced medical discrimination numerous times, I was the first trans patient at this psych ward i went to and got weird treatment. I have struggled a lot with feeling like i belong in this world. And now at the age of 21 I still do sometimes.

But

With all the bad things that've happened.

The family that stayed ive grown closer with. The new friends i FINALLY made in college are so incredibly supportive and I'm lucky that most of them are also trans or queer in some way (most of my friends are long distance but idc theyre my best friends). I wouldnt trade them for the world. I I havent had a typical teen experience but I've gotten to lead important projects for the safety of trans students at my high school, I've been a part of my university's qsa, I've gotten to serve on a panel for GLSEN Los Angeles where I worked with city officials on how to make la safer for trans/nb people. I've had my art about being trans get into galleries and I've won a couple awards for it. I get to attend other queer events near me and sell my art there and meet other queer folks in a town that's not a super safe place to be queer in.

I've gotten to see people grow and change their opinions on trans ppl bc now they know one and understand the concept better. Ive gotten the absolutely honor of people telling me that because I'm so open about myself that they began to feel comfortable exploring more about thelmselves.

I've lived more in these past 10 years than a lot of people will in 20. And as hard as its been I'm so FUCKING proud of how far I've come and I can't wait for the next 10.

It's not always glamorous, it's fucking hard as hell. For a long while I'd trade being a trans man for being a cis woman in a heartbeat, but now I wouldn't trade being trans for the world.

[hammerhead-jpg]

Hello friend! Why do you discuss nsfw and bas when you are 15! Uncomfortable!

Uncomfortable what? Are you uncomfortable? Because I'm not uncomfortable so I'm assuming you're saying that you're uncomfortable and if that's the case that's alright, you don't need to interact or even look at my posts, you can block me I probably won't notice

Before I answer your question I'm just going to make this post to guide anyone to that might pull the whole "aren't you a mineral 🤓 why don't you go do your homework kid 🤓" so that I don't have to keep repeating the same rant because I know that you aren't going to be the last person to say this

Aka warning this is a long response to a short ahh question so be prepared

And in the words of a wise man "excuse my vitriol, it's not really aimed at you"

If I talk about something in second person that you didn't say or imply, I'm not exactly making an accusation against you since, although I'm not the best at reading the tone of things through a screen, I'm going to assume your ask was well intentioned and not passive aggressive

To start off, just so you know, I don't have a Patreon for the reason that I am a minor and don't have a credit card. So when I talk about BA's I'm talking about the preview that is free for anyone to see. Those are nothing more than making out and a little bit of weewee didling, which I can tell you I've seen worse in some movie I've watched with my family when I was 12

Anyways, the short answer is: because I wanted to lol

I randomly came across some YY ass audio and it reminded me of the free like 3 minute long snippet of the David BA and I thought that was funny

I said "me stick me weener in jelly see though computer" because I thought it was funny

I wrote a Elliott x Scorpius smutfic that I didn't really post anywhere because I was bored and horny

The long answer:

I'm a teenager and I have hormones. It is very normal for me to feel those types of feelings and talk about those topics. I am at the point in my life where I've been taught about every STD and learned the latin name of every part of the male and female genitalia by the school system. I wanna go to fashion school I'm not your little girl anymore!!!

The only reason I see that anyone would have an issue with this is that it makes them uncomfortable. If it makes you uncomfortable you don't need to look at it. Literally anything that I post that is more spicy than a dick joke is tagged with "cw: suggestive" and has the "read more" thingy so that you need to click on it to see it.

There are so many obscure stuff that makes people uncomfortable and so I literally wouldn't be able to post anything because it might make someone uncomfortable

And I know that the whole "use your block button triggered puritan!!" thing can be hella annoying, especially when the person is like drawing borderline child porn and think that the only reason that people are mad at them is that they personally don't like it

But that statement is only annoying and untrue when the thing that you're mad about is harmful or bad in some way, and I don't know anything about me interacting or talking about nsfw media that is actively harming me or anyone else

If you want to say that it's making people uncomfortable or possibly even triggered, again, I put content warnings on anything truly suggestive or nsfw, in my about me post I specifically say that if a minor talking about nsfw topics makes you comfortable you are free to not interact!!

If you want to say that it will bring pedophiles and groomers to my page then that is just victim blaming, I understand if I was posting pictures picture of my ass or something but I am not, the most suggestive thing I've posted (so far) is a drawing of two grown consenting men doing the tongue twister

If you want to say that looking at nsfw media at a young age can cause hypersexuality and porn addiction I'd agree with you, but when people say that they usually mean like little children, like 6,7,8,9,10, not a whole teenager like me

And also- oopsies! I already developed hypersexuality from a young age from things that I didn't understand and were out of my control yikes! So it seems like that it's too late for that!

But also, being a total evangelical and forcing yourself not to express any kind of sexual feelings until the age of 18 can also lead to hypersexuality so like

And at the end of the day - sexual topics and sexuality is not something that we should treat with shame, it's a totally normal part of life especially for a teenager like me and just because it may be uncomfortable for you in particular doesn't mean that it shouldn't exist

And honestly most people that get their panties in a bunch when they see a minor say "my peepee wet rn" and act all wise and grown and then borderline attack the person are most likely just mad and have some sort of complex and are not actually concerned for the person in question

And also as a last little guilt trip, as I said I do struggle with hypersexuality and do in turn struggle with shame because of it and there just so happen to be things in my life that are mentally, socially and physically stopping me from ever enjoying sex in the future so if I want to enjoy this concept that the world seemingly revolves around by drawing or writing smut and maybe posting "haha Bakugo asmr sound like David BA" then maybe let me be

That being said me when Alexandar Solar:

[rendevousz]

mum?

mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader

avengers x reader

req by @teenwonder ; i absolutely love the entire teams adoration for reader skfksngnsf its so cute! could i please request one a little more nat based? maybe r treats and loves nat like a mom but nat hadn’t noticed that before, and the whole team is like listing examples of how and why 🥺🥺🥺

summary: the four times you needed nat and the one time she admits that she needed you too.

warnings: blood, a random attack out of nowhere because i'm not creative, inaccurate writing of medical situations because i have no idea how those things work, also let's just pretend bruce was around during iron man 2 when tony still had palladium in his arc reactor, also inaccurate descriptions of palladium effects bcs i just...don't know much about palladium pls forgive me thanks, and idk any hospitals in new york/manhattan or even the states LMAO so uh bear with this, and last but not least, my inability to write good endings

word count: 5426

notes: that's a long ass warning nevertheless pls do enjoy this fic <3

"i'm going now, bye!" you bid the team who were having breakfast together, walking out of the common area.

"bye, cupcake! don't get into trouble, don't do what i'd do and definitely don't do what i wouldn't do." tony advised and you rolled your eyes because tony says that to you every morning before you leave for school.

"wait, don't forget your lunch!" nat stands up from her seat and grabs your lunch that she had packed, from the kitchen island, bringing it over to you. "thanks, nat!" you grabbed it, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

nat smiles at the action, turning around to walk back to her spot on the table, only to find the team staring back at her with knowing looks.

"what?"

"you know, you only need to sign a couple papers and the kid's all yours." tony states matter-of-factly. nat snaps her head towards the man, an incredulous look on her face. "what are you talking about?"

"we all see the longing looks on both your faces. she's dying for you to call her your daughter and you, her mother." clint explains and the others nodded in agreement.

"that's nonsense. she has wanda too," nat reasons, sitting back down. "i'm pretty sure she sees wanda as a sister considering how much she drags wanda with her whenever she's causing trouble around the tower." steve raises his brows at the redhead who was in denial.

"she sees you as her mother, nat. just accept it," wanda tells her, taking a sip from her glass. "really? name me one time she showed it." nat challenges them, not knowing that they've been watching your interactions with her for the longest time.

"you have no idea what you just got yourself into, romanoff," clint chuckles, cracking his neck and knuckles as if preparing for a fight.

"remember new mexico?" he smirks and nat only frowns, trying to remember.

i.

"no!" you screamed, dropping down to the ground. you didn't care that you scraped your knees doing that, the only thing that mattered was the overwhelming feeling of grief engulfing your whole being. tears streamed down your face as you looked at the debris on the ground, the remainder of what used to be standing in front of you; a building. blown up, now in ruins.

clint, bucky and steve watched you break down in front of them, their hearts breaking at the sight in front of them as well as the fact that their teammate had been caught up in the middle of the explosion.

"y/n/n? come on, tony's team called for back up. we gotta go," steve tried to get you to stand up, failing when you kept your ground. you screamed when he tried again and their hearts clenched at the heartbreaking sound.

"we can't just leave her! please, we have to find her," you cried, clinging onto steve's body as he ran his hand up and down your suit-cladded back to soothe you. "y/n/n, we can't. the whole place is in ruins now," he didn't want to say it but he had to. he had to in order to get you to leave. "she's gone."

"she can't be gone! she can't just leave us! we need her! i need her, stevie.." you cried into his chest and he had to control himself so he didn't cry right then and there too.

he looked up to see bucky looking at the two of you guiltily, tapping his wrist to indicate that they were running out of time. steve had no choice but to carry you in his arms, getting you to leave the site against your will. but you were too weak to fight back now. "what am i gonna do without her now, stevie?" you asked quietly.

"we're gonna be okay, y/n/n," he tells you, sitting you down on a chair and settling down next to you as clint flew the jet to your next location. the atmosphere was tense and you could tell everyone, too, was sad about this.

"what if we're not? what if we're not gonna be okay, stevie? i know i won't be." you wiped the tears streaming down your face despite the fact that your face still wasn't drying up any time soon.

"because nat wouldn't want to see us like this. she'll be angry if she sees that we're risking people's lives just because of her." he says truthfully.

"we're landing, guys." clint announces and the team prepared for another round of fighting. steve turns to you, wiping the tears on your face as he made you look up at him. "now let's save some people and make nat proud, yeah?"

you nod at him sadly, preparing your weapons. all of you got out the jet and the second battle of the day begun. boy, were these people unlucky because they were on the receiving end of your fury.

you were busy taking down a group of guards alone when you heard a familiar voice. "y/n, behind you!" and you turned just in time to take down a guard who was aiming at you.

you didn't even have time to register your shock of seeing the redhead because more guards came at you two. you guys fought alongside each other until all the men were taken down.

"nat?" you breathed out. "yes, bub?" she answers as you both carefully walked over the knocked out men. she was taken aback when you slammed into her, hugging her the tightest you ever did since you met her.

"please don't ever do that again." you mumbled into her chest. she was about to ask you what you meant when she heard you sniffling. figuring out it wasn't the appropriate moment to ask, she continued to just hug and comfort you in silence.

"wait, that was why she cried that day? because she thought i was in that building when it blew up?" nat asks after steve finished the story. "i never found out why because she never told me."

"yeah, you should've seen her when the building exploded. completely shattered my heart, dude." clint states, remembering the broken down state you were in that day.

"wait, did you guys not grief over my supposed death then?" nat glares at clint, bucky and steve. "in our defense, they were about to blow up about a hundred people, we didn't have much time to process the whole situation." clint tries to convince his best friend, only to receive a glare again from her.

"alright but just because she cried when she thought i was dead, doesn't mean she sees me as her mum. i'd cry too if any one of you guys died," she states, still in denial.

she did love you like how a mother would love her child. but she didn't want you to feel that she was forcing the title onto you. after all, you had so many other adults around you, who's to say that you saw someone else as a parent figure instead of her? she didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

"woman, are you serious?" sam exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. "need i remind you that the girl sacrificed her life for you?"

ii.

"nat, watch out!" you stood right behind her where the man was about to attack her. you gave him a harsh kick to the head and that was all it took for the man to go unconscious.

the redhead turned around, not having enough time to comprehend what had happened before you dropped into her arms. you two were lucky the last of the men had already been taken out.

"bub? what's wrong?"

at this point, you were fully leaning against her. she was holding up your whole weight, hands wrapped around your middle to support you. that was when she felt it. the familiar thick substance on her fingers, leaking from the back of your suit.

her eyes widened, pulling one hand away from you to look at it. red. her breathing picked up as one of her hands felt around your back, finally feeling the handle of a knife sticking out from your back.

your eyes were already drooping by now and she lightly shook you awake, careful to not hurt you. she lowered you down and you were both sat on the floor now.

she presses a finger to her ear and you could hear her voice echo in your ear from your own comms. "can someone come please," she paused, exhaling shakily. "y/n's down."

if it had been any other person, she probably would be bringing them to the jet by now but it was you. she didn't know what came over her but when she saw that you were injured, it was like her whole body shut down. her knees felt weak and she couldn't bring herself to move.

"hey, hey, keep your eyes open. can you do that?" she asked gently and you nodded weakly. "bub, why did you do that?" she cried softly, moving your hair away from your face as you leaned sideways against her. the action caused your face to be smudged by your own blood from her hands but she didn't care as she caressed your cheek.

"he–he was gonna hurt you. i–i couldn't..." you paused a while, the pain getting too much for you to bear. "y/n, don't strain yourself. you need to stay awake," she tells you as tears streamed down her face.

"rather me than you," you whispered. nat's eyes widened at this. "don't say that, bub." she scolds gently.

you smiled weakly at her. "i've grown too dependent on you, nat. it's to the point that i," you coughed and nat worried that you were straining yourself but you continued. "that i'd rather die than live without you. you probably can go on with life without me but i can't without you. i need you, nat." your eyes closed and nat panics, shaking your body.

"y/n?! bub?! stay awake, please, they're coming!" nat cries out loud, holding onto your limp body.

"did we not agree to not mention that to me anymore?" nat glares at sam for bringing that up.

the night of that incident had been one of the worst nights for nat. she sat by your bed all night after you had been treated. she had been the first one you saw after you woke up. she had been the one you broke down in front of after you admitted the full reasoning behind your actions. she had been the one who opened her arms for you to make yourself at home in.

"i'm sorry but you must be blind if you can't see how really she sees you for the past years," bucky states. nat turns to him with a glare. "you don't know what you're talking about."

"oh really? who does she call whenever she has a really bad nightmare?" bucky questions rhetorically with his eyebrows raised.

iii.

"no, please, don't!" you begged, asleep and thrashing around in your bed. quiet whimpers turned into heavy breathing as you plead for your life in your nightmare. "please," you whispered, inhaling and exhaling harshly.

FRIDAY, noticing the amount of distress you were in, alerted the closest person to your room, that being bucky who was returning from a late night trip to the kitchen for some water.

he quickly went into your room, only to see you shivering and thrashing around in your bed. "doll?" he approaches slowly, finding you still asleep, though sweating a lot. nightmare, he realised.

"doll? wake up," he gently shakes you and you immediately jolt awake, breathing heavily as you register what was going on. "it's okay, it was just a nightmare," he soothes you, holding you close as one hand rubbed up and down your back while the other held your head to his chest.

none of that helped as you were still in the same state as you were when you woke up. "are you okay?" he asks, worried. "nat... i need nat.. please i need her," you whimpered, shaking in his hold. you were having trouble breathing.

"FRIDAY, get romanoff."

within minutes, nat arrived, looking panicked and disheveled like she had just woken up, which she just did. "what's wrong?" she asks bucky, approaching you two.

"she was having a nightmare and woke up and i think she's having a panic attack. she asked for you," he informs her and immediately moves away when she approaches, so that she could take his place.

"bub? it's me," you look up to meet natasha's pretty green eyes. "you're okay, bub. can you tell me five thing you can see?"

you looked away from her eyes, looking around your room. "i–i see my book on my nightstand, my lamp, my jacket on the chair, my laptop and the painting on the wall." you told her after some difficulties.

"good, that's good. four things you can feel?"

"i feel the socks on my feet, my fluffy blanket, the pillow i'm leaning on and your hands around me."

she smiles softly at you. "three things you can hear?"

"i hear your voice. a–and the faint noise from the ac and i can also hear bucky's breathing." you look up at the man and he smiles sheepishly at you, standing around awkwardly. you gave him a small smile back.

"two things you can smell?"

"i can smell my own shampoo..and my room's air freshener." you told her more calmly now, feeling the panic attack already going away.

"one thing you want to taste?"

"i wanna taste wanda's blueberry pancakes." you pout and the two adults couldn't help but chuckle. "you can have them in the morning. right now you need to sleep so you can have the energy to devour them tomorrow, okay?" you nod at the woman as she tucks you in.

not long after, you fell asleep. she then presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving with a less worried bucky now. and sure enough, the next morning, wanda made you blueberry pancakes.

"okay, so what? we all need someone to help us through panic attacks?" nat rolls her eyes. "did you miss the part where i came in and tried to help but she specifically asked for you? she needed you, nat."

"guys, i... i love her with my whole heart but she has all of us. i don't wanna make her feel like she's restricted to only one of us. you all love her too," nat reasons.

"yes but she doesn't have anyone to call her mum and frankly, i think you'd be perfect for it." wanda encourages the older woman.

"i—" before she could continue, her phone rang loudly and she thanked whoever it was that called her because now she didn't have to make up excuses about her doubt of becoming your official mother.

iv.

she looks down at the caller id, sighing when it was you, meaning the team had more against her now. of course she didn't mind you calling her, you could call her when she'd be asleep after a mission and she'd still pick up with a smile on her face. but it was the fact that the whole team could see how she softened when she realised it was you who called that bothered her. she really didn't want them to let her have hopes that you'd accept her as your mother.

"bub?" she said into the phone and half the team smirked at her while the other half gave her knowing smiles. "aren't you supposed to be on your way to school?"

"yeah but uh are you busy right now? i um, i need you."

nat immediately stands up, worry etched onto her face and the team frowned at this. "what happened? are you okay?"

"you know how i told happy i wanted to walk to school today? yeah, i just remembered why i don't walk to school anymore."

"what do you mean? what happened? are you hurt? did someone hurt you?" she bombards you with questions out of worry. at this point, the team had also stopped their chatter and teasing looks, equally worried for your well-being.

"yeah, i am. wait, maybe not. i mean, i was just being dramatic but uh, i tripped on who-knows-what and now i have a sprained ankle. i can't walk now so i'm standing in an alley right now so i'm not in the way of people. can you come get me?"

nat sighs in relief, thankful that it wasn't anything that she was thinking of. "you are unbelievable, y/n." she chuckles in disbelief at your clumsiness. "can you tell me where you are? i'll come get you now. i'll have the school know you're not coming today." you told her your location and she immediately leaves after telling the team what happened to you.

you were expecting nat to call again, to tell you she was around the corner but instead you heard a whoosh of air beside your head, followed by a crack sound. your head followed the sound, eyes widening when you saw that a dart had struck the wall beside your head. you looked ahead, trying to see where that came from.

if it hadn't been for your fast reflexes being an avenger for the past few years, you probably wouldn't have ducked in time when another dart came flying right for your head. "what the hell?" you grunted, staying low but still looking around for the source. you squinted when you looked up, the sun blazing but you managed to catch a glimpse of a man on a rooftop nearby. he had blonde hair and was dressed in all black, donning a same coloured mask that covered the bottom half of his face.

"you had one job! how could you miss her twice?!" the blonde hears his colleague hiss in his ear through the earpiece. "i'm sorry! i'm no hawkeye, how was i supposed to get her in one try?!" he scolds back.

"you didn't even get her in two!"

"shut up and just let me work! you're distracting me!"

"hurry because i see the redheaded one nearing the alley. boss'll kill us if he finds out we didn't get her in her vulnerable state."

"i'm trying, i'm trying!" the blonde closes one eye, his sight now locked on your crouched state. he saw you move once you saw him and he cursed under his breath, his weapon following your movements. "she's moving!"

"just take the shot and be done with it! you have to go now!"

and shoot he did. after he shot the dart gun, he immediately fled but it wasn't like you were going to be able to chase him down or anything. a scream left your lips as a dart pierced through your skin, right under your shoulder.

you dropped down to the ground, right in the middle of the alleyway. you cried when you felt the burn in your flesh. you had been stabbed multiple times before with much bigger objects so why did this feel different?

"y/n?! is that you?!" you heard nat's voice yell from a small distance away. "i'm here," you croaked out, feeling your body grow weaker at an alarming rate.

"oh my god, bub, why are you on the ground? it's dirty, c'mon let's get you up. which foot did you sprain?" she places both her hands under your arms, pulling you up on your feet before accidentally dropping you back when you let out a shriek, crying out in pain.

"oh my god, did i hit your ankle? are you okay?" nat assumed that your tear-stained face was because of your sprained ankle but then you wheezed, your eyes drooping the longer she stood there.

your right hand slowly reached across your left shoulder, the butt of the dart sticking out of your skin now in between your shaking fingers. nat's eyes followed your hand movement's, a gasp leaving her lips.

"y/n, what happened?!" she panicked but before she could even get an answer from you, you had already blacked out. her eyes widened, knowing it was the dart because why else would you pass out that quick from a simple penetration in the shoulder. you had dealt with much worse than that and she knew your tolerance level.

she took off your bag, careful to not move the dart. she then placed her hands under your knees and behind your back, easily picking your unconscious body up and rushing back to the tower.

when she arrived, she was met with many confused yet concerned looks from the tower staff, seeing the black widow, rushing in with the youngest avenger unconscious in her arms. they had seen you leave the tower for school about half an hour ago so they knew something must've happened on the way.

"get bruce in the hospital wing. tell him it's urgent." she tells the woman working the front desk, hurrying into the elevator and telling FRIDAY to get her to the floor she so desperately wanted to arrive at quicker. black lines appeared on the left side of your neck, slowly spreading to the right side and she assumed it was from that damned dart in your left shoulder.

"natasha! what's wrong? they said it was an emergency," the doctor spoke in a panicked voice when nat entered, immediately going quiet when he saw you in her arms, neck lined with seemingly black veins.

nat laid you down on the surgery table, frown growing when black lines steadily spread to your arms now. though she was too worried to think, she managed to at least tell bruce what was outwardly wrong with you.

"dart. left shoulder." she blurted, incapable of forming proper sentences now that she had seen more of you. the black lining your skin got her speechless and anxious. bruce got ready with medical gloves, removing the dart from your flesh before analysing the pattern of your skin. it looked familiar.

"FRIDAY, get tony down here. it's urgent."

"bruce, please, what's wrong with her?" she cried, tears now freely streaming down her face. she didn't cry much in front of anyone but when it came to you, you always managed to get her to do just that.

"hey, what's going on? FRIDAY said there was an emergency here, who's hurt?" nat heard tony's panicked voice but she didn't make an effort to reply. her gaze was fixed on only you.

tony's jaw dropped, frowning when he saw you on the bed, upper body covered in black lines. "what the hell happened?!"

tony stepped beside bruce, taking a closer look at your skin. his frown deepened. "wait, it looks like.."

"yeah, looks exactly like when you had palladium instead of vibranium in your arc reactor."

"does that mean—"

"palladium's been running through her veins for about twenty minutes now. FRIDAY, how high is her blood toxicity level?" bruce asks, sampling a drop of your blood from when he took out the dart.

"53% and it is still steadily increasing."

"tony, at the rate it's going, if she's not treated in the next fifteen minutes or so, she'll.." bruce pauses, not wanting to say it out loud.

"no, she just needs lithium dioxide. that's how fury and i cured your palladium poisoning, tony." nat finally speaks.

"SHIELD probably has them but they're all the way in dc. they're not gonna reach here in time," tony states solemnly, reaching over to move your hair out of your face, looking down at you sadly.

but he was immediately pulled aside, nat grabbing his collar and looking him straight in the eyes. "you have your stupid iron suits that can probably travel faster than the speed of sound if you try. you can go down there yourself and get the damn thing. i swear to god, tony, i'm literally going to destroy those stupid suits myself if you don't put them to good use." nat threatens, glaring at the billionaire.

tony's eyes widened, the genius having not thought about nat's idea yet. "yeah, yeah, you're right, i'll go now."

he left immediately and nat approached your bed hesitantly, not wanting to see the black lines making home on the skin on your upper body. "do you think tony'll make it back in time?" she sniffles and bruce's worried frown on his face softened. "of course he will. he won't let anything happen to y/n. we won't let anything happen to y/n." he assured her.

there was nothing they could do now but wait for tony to come back with the lithium dioxide. nat sat beside your bed, hands gingerly grasping one of your own. despite the black staining it, nat held it to her face and her tears rolled past the back of your hand.

bruce decided to give her some privacy, opting to inform the whole team of the situation instead of standing around idly.

nat pulled your hand away from her face, rubbing her thumb over the back of it, crying even more at the sight in front of her. "y/n, please. i've never told you this but i need you." she pauses, breathing in shakily. "i've always needed you and i'll always need you. you can't leave me, please. you said i could go on with life without you but you're so wrong, y/n. you're the reason i'm still here and you're the reason i still want to be here. if you're not here then it's as if i have no reason, no purpose. i need you, y/n. so much more than i'd like to admit. heck, probably much more than you need me. so please, don't leave me. i can't do this without you." nat sobs out, watching the patterns on your skin spreading and growing bolder.

at this point, the whole team had now gathered outside of the room, watching nat cry over you. they wanted so bad to get a closer look at their beloved baby avenger but they respected nat and instead, waited for her to finish talking to you. once she stood up and looked around, bruce knew she was done so he entered, followed by the team.

"status, FRIDAY?" bruce asks, sampling a bit of your blood again. "blood toxicity at 96% now."

the team looked your unconscious body in apprehension, some crying and some worried out of their minds.

"goddamnit! where the hell is stark?!" nat growled. her eyes were now puffy after having spent the last half an hour crying. the team had never seen her lose her cool like this but they figured why.

as if on cue, tony's iron man suit crashed through the windows of the room but he couldn't care less. his main priority was to get to you quickly. in his hand was a silver briefcase that he passed to bruce.

bruce opened the case before wasting no time in plunging the syringe containing lithium dioxide, your supposed cure, into you. immediately, the black patterns on your skin started disappearing. it was slow but noticeable. it started from the tips of your fingers, going up towards your neck.

everyone sighed in relief, and to tony's surprise, nat hugged him tightly. "thank you. you have no idea how much this means to me." she whispers. tony pats her back gently. "hey, i care about her too, okay? of course i'd do this for her. any one of us would."

nat smiles at him when she let him go, turning back to you and almost crying out in joy when your skin had finally turned back to normal. she let the medical assistants set your bed up and handle your sprained ankle before going back to sit by you. the team left her alone with you once again.

it was only about an hour later did you wake up, squinting when bright lights shone down on you. you moved around but you felt hands around your left and you heard a familiar voice.

"and remember when you dragged wanda to pull that prank on me with you and after you did, i grounded you like i was your mum or something?" you hear her chuckle, still not noticing that you've woken up.

"i didn't mind, though. frankly, i don't think i would ever mind if you continued acting like my mother or something," you spoke and she immediately tore her gaze from your hands, looking at you, now wide awake.

"bub!" she hugs you so tightly you didn't think you could breathe. you still returned the hug though, laughing. "i was worried you might still have some palladium in your bloodstream."

"wait, palladium?" you asked her in shock. "yeah, the dart that got you in that alley, it contained palladium. it's highly toxic so we used lithium dioxide to counter it. speaking of the dart, i'm going to find out who did this to you and they're never going to see the light of day for putting us through all of this." nat says, disturbingly calm.

"yeah...you do that," you tell her, slightly scared. "but palladium? in my blood? how cool is that? i had literal metal in my blood! i could've become like tony but like...palladium woman or something." you said excitedly.

"you do know we already have metal in our blood, right bub?" nat questions in amusement. "oh." you say dumbly. "and palladium don't belong in our body and you literally almost died because of it." your mouth opened but no words came out.

"speaking of, can you please not do that again? i really thought i was gonna lose you." she whispers, stroking your hair. "oh yeah, of course. i'll just announce to the whole world to not target the youngest avenger," you joke, smile dropping when nat gave you a stern look.

"nat, being part of the avengers at my age undoubtedly means i'll be a target for the bad people out there, but i don't care because while i get to kick ass, i know all of you have my back when it's my ass that's kicked. and i think that's the best part of being an avenger; the sense of security i get having you amazing people as my teammates." you tell her honestly and she smiles softly.

"oh come here you," she pulls you in for another hug but this time it's better because you could still breathe. you make yourself comfortable, snuggling into her.

"did you mean it?" she asked and you look up at her in confusion. "mean what?"

"when you said you wouldn't mind me acting like your mother."

"of course i do, you're like the mother i never had. i wouldn't even mind you being my actual mother." you say without a second thought, eyes widening when you realised what you had said. you swore under your breath, knowing you've just made it awkward between you two.

"i– really?" despite the teams efforts to make her see the truth, it was much more meaningful when she heard you say it yourself. "y–yeah.." you admit sheepishly.

"then you wouldn't mind if i actually adopted you?" she asks carefully, gauging your reaction. your jaw dropped, eyes going wide once again. "are you serious?!"

"yeah." she smiles at you fondly. "no! of course i won't mind!" you hug her tightly, tears forming in your eyes. you had gone all your life without parents so this was a huge thing for you. not only were you going to finally have a mother, but the most amazing woman you knew was going to be your mother.

"mum?" you tested the title, smiling when she acknowledged it. you were now crying in joy.

"hey, don't cry." she soothes you, running a hand up and down your back. "no, no, i'm just so happy. this is the best day of my life." you tell her. "me too, bub."

you stayed in her arms until you fell back asleep, nat tucking you in before going back to sit down on the chair. she looked down at you fondly.

sure, she was scared of the big step she was about to take with you but she had you with her and she knew that was enough. "i love you, y/n." she whispers, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky

[mcbethins]

Baby Kuai?

I knew you would ask about this one! <3 You know what, I will just share what I have written so far :)

"Hey buddy," Johnny's voice was soft and light as he reached for the frightened child. 

Kuai Liang flinched, backing up until he hit the wall. "St-stay back," he held out a hand, tell-tale blue-white energy swirling in his palm. Only, there was no ice weapon. Erratic crystals condensed and then dissipated almost immediately. Brown eyes widened in panic. 

Johnny's heart broke as the boy slid down the wall, sitting against it with his knees drawn to his chest. He was shivering and panting frosty breaths.  

With alarm, Johnny realized ice was creeping over him from his feet, slowly encasing him. He stared up at them, eyes full of fear and desperation. 

"Hush, it's alright," Hanzo drew the shuddering boy into his arms.

Kuai Liang gasped, sagging in his embrace as the ice melted away. Hanzo swayed them slightly, muttering words of comfort. 

Kuai Liang wrapped his small arms around Hanzo's neck and held onto him, burrowing his face beneath Hanzo's chin. Hanzo hummed deep in his chest, eyes shutting tightly for a moment. 

A wave of empathy passed over the actor as he watched Hanzo rub Kuai's back in soothing patterns.

It was bad enough that his husband was a child. Kuai was malnourished, horribly frightened, and Johnny could see bruises littering his back.

Seriously? He had to get de-aged with wounds to match?

"Hey kiddo," he said softly, carefully smoothing back the child's bangs. "Sorry I scared ya." 

Kuai sniffed, turning his head enough to cast Johnny a weary look. "Please don't hurt me," he whimpered. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he sobbed into Hanzo's chest. "Didn't mean to…don't know how I got here, I'm sorry." More ice formed only to melt as the boy cried his eyes out.

"You're alright, no one's going to hurt you." Thankfully, Hanzo's deep voice seemed to calm him somewhat. Hell, Johnny found it calming and he was a grown ass adult. 

"You're not?" Kuai hiccuped. Despite being covered in tears and snot, he was obviously an adorable kid. Johnny was struggling not to steal him from Hanzo and hold him himself. 

"No, we're not. You're safe here, Kuai Liang."

"You know my name," Kuai murmured, retracting his arms snuggling against Hanzo's broad chest. "But you're not Lin Kuei?"

"No, we are not. We're-" Hanzo made eye contact with Johnny who shrugged. 

"We're uh, we're gonna be your friends alright kid?"

Kuai's eyelids drooped, "M'not allowed to have friends." 

Oh. Fuck the Lin Kuei. 

"But you'd like a friend wouldn't you, Kuai Liang?" Hanzo asked, terribly soft. 

Kuai whimpered, "...I…V-Vortex said I can't have any friends and I can't go home and-" he cut himself off abruptly, fear in his eyes. "S-sorry, sorry I didn't mean to talk about it!" He was wide awake now, and absolutely petrified. 

"Shhhh, it's alright. It's alright," Hanzo soothed him. "You're just answering my question." 

Kuai blinked up at him, "Why are you being nice to me? Is this a test? Did I fail? Because I cried? Vortex said-"

"Hey, kiddo, Vortex isn't here. Don't worry about what he says, ok?" Johnny was hoping to divert Kuai before he propelled himself into another panic attack. 

That brought Kuai up short. "He's not…where is he?" 

Oh boy. They hadn't discussed the whole "The Lin Kuei you know are dead and gone including your brother and there was a second one but they're also gone" thing. 

"The Lin Kuei aren't here and they can't find you," Hanzo told him gently, but with his usual confidence. Hopefully little Kuai would buy it. 

Kuai Liang frowned, "But…the grandmaster said he would know if we ran and-" Kuai swallowed. "No one leaves the Lin Kuei," he whispered. "They'll, I'm, I'm gonna die, I don't wanna die!," He broke down sobbing again, only this time he was absolutely hysterical. 

Hanzo held him tightly and Johnny could feel the warmth emanating from the man. "You'll be alright, I will protect you, Kuai Liang," he promised, voice hitching ever so slightly. That was a loaded statement, Johnny just didn't know how loaded. 

 Kuai's hysteria dwindled over time; Hanzo's heat was lulling him to sleep. Johnny briefly wondered if Hanzo did something similar for adult Kuai. 

Kuai's hands were curled up against Hanzo's chest, as was the rest of him. Johnny patted his head gently. Kuai sighed, eyes closed. As soon as Johnny let his arm fall to his side, Hanzo pressed his lips to the boy's head. 

"I will take him home," he murmured, voice rough. 

"Yeah…except he's from America…"

Hanzo quirked a brow, expression dark.

"So…maybe he'd be more comfortable as Casa de Cage, instead of your place." 

"...I am not leaving you alone with him."

"And I don't expect you to, man," Johnny put his hands up, placating. "I'm just saying, I think he'd be more comfortable somewhere that resembles his childhood home."

Hanzo inhaled monumentally and let his breath out in a rush. "You are…right." The 'But I don't like it, you American memelord' went unsaid. 

"You uh, know where I live right?"

Hanzo sighed, shuffling Kuai into one massive arm and placing his other hand on Johnny's shoulder. Without another word the three were gone in a torrent of flame. 

***

Kuai Liang woke up slowly, reluctant to leave the hazy warmth cocooning him. 

He didn't want to get up and train, he just wanted to sleep a little longer. He was so tired. But Bi-Han would be annoyed with him again. Kuai sighed, burying his face into the softest pillow he had ever felt. 

Wait. 

He didn't have soft pillows. He had a cot and a thin blanket and-

Oh. Oh. 

He bolted upright, eyes flying open. Where was he? How did he…slowly, memories of the strange night before came back to him. 

Those two men…they…they were nice to him. The yellow one especially; he was so warm and soft. 

Kuai Liang wanted to snuggle under the blankets that reminded him of his bedroom, his real bedroom. 

No, he couldn't think of home. He wasn't supposed to, he'd get hit again. Except, Vortex wasn't here. This definitely wasn't the Lin Kuei…

Kuai sighed, deciding he'd better figure out where the heck he was and whether he was safe or not. He…had felt safe last night. He wanted those men…

Knock knock.

Kuai threw himself under the bed, curling into a ball. 

"Hey Kuai, buddy. I'm gonna come in ok?" 

That voice…the man with the sunglasses. He said they were friends…but what if it was a trick? What if they'd just send him back to the Lin Kuei? What if this was all a test?!

Kuai whined, tears freezing before they could fall. He couldn't stop it, his whole body was trembling with fear. 

Weak. Pathetic. Not good enough. 

The door opened. Kuai whimpered, closing his eyes. Couldn't think, couldn't-

"Aw man, I made soooo many pancakes and now I'm gonna have to eat them all by myself," the man complained. 

What? 

Kuai opened his eyes slowly, watching a pair of sock covered feet shuffle around the room. 

They pointed toward the bed, stopping right in front of Kuai. Then there were knees with a low "oof!" And then a face. 

Kuai liked his smile. 

"Hey bud, you think you could come eat some pancakes so I don't put myself in a food coma?" The man asked. 

Kuai sniffed, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not allowed to." 

"Aw kid, come on out. Let's talk about that." 

Kuai warily crept out from under the bed after the man's retreating face. 

"There ya go," the man ruffled Kuai's hair. Kuai wanted him to do it again. "Well, first things first," the man stuck out his hand. "I'm Johnny Cage. You can call me Johnny." 

"You're…American?" 

"Oh yeah baby," Johnny said. "This," he spread his arms wide. "Is my humble abode."

"... We're in America?" Kuai asked, voice hushed. 

"Yep, the Good ole U S of A."

Kuai looked around, taking in the plush carpet, the colorful knick knacks and light blue walls. 

He missed his home. He missed mama so much. He breathed deeply, willing himself not to cry again. He would be brave, he would be strong. He could do it. 

"Listen, kid." Johnny knelt down, placing a warm hand on Kuai's shoulder. "I know it's hard for you to trust me, but I promise you're safe here, ok?" 

Kuai swallowed. "Ok."

Johnny beamed at him and Kuai couldn't help but smile back. "Alright then, come on, let's get some breakfast." 

[leewritesstuff]

Lose You To Love Me |Tom Holland x Reader

Paring: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Losing someone hurts, but knowing that things get better, feels fine. You were dating Tom but feels as if you guys were slowly drifting away

Song: Lose You To Love Me

Masterlist

This is my first Tom Holland works, it's a little rusty since I haven't written something that isn't anime for a while.

You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it Set fires to my forest And you let it burn Sang off-key in my chorus 'Cause it wasn't yours

Having an on-and-off relationship was difficult. Especially when the relationship was a secret. You wanted to come out and be public but Tom didn't. The excuses were 'They will attack you' or 'I'm just not ready' but to see him posing for pictures with other models and celebrities made you feel as if you were a secret as if he was a shame.

Moving from the kitchen to sit in the living room couches, you played with his hair, feeling his soft curls between your fingers.

"Tom do you think we could go to that new cafe that opens up down the straight? I hear that they sell amazing cupca-" Without looking up from his phone, he replies with "I would love to but I don't want anyone spotting us" "Well that's fine if they do, don't you think it's time that they know?" "I just want us to keep some stuff to ourselves, ya know?" Letting out a sigh, you leaned your body off of his, grabbed the remote to turn on the tv.

I saw the signs and I ignored it Rose-colored glasses all distorted Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah

"Who the fuck is her huh?! Is that why you can't hang out? Or why you're always so late? You never have time to spend with me, heck you don't even say sorry for missing out on our planned dates!" "For fucking sake Y/N! Not everything is about you! I told you I was running late because I was at a party for work! You of all people are supposed to know that!" "I wouldn't be feeling this way if people weren't taking pictures of you and that model! Friends don't act that way! You don't see me acting that way with Harrison!"

"I swear it's like you're my fucking mother. I'm a grown-ass man, I can do whatever the hell I want! Stop bitching every fucking time!"

You looked at him in shock, still trying to register the words he used on you. Some fans have been speculating that you and Tom were dating but that was quickly debunked when a few pictures of Tom and another model were 'rumored' to be dating.

At first the rumors didn't bother you. It was for an upcoming movie, but after a while of countless photos of them together, it started to make you feel a type of way, jealously, insecure.

You didn't exactly notice that your relationship was falling apart, only feeling the distance. You nodded your head at him, "Alright"

He watched you, anger from the fight filling up his veins. He was tired of having the same fight with you every time a picture of him and a girl gets posted.

He walked over to you and grabbed your hands, holding them tightly, "Look, I'm not cheating okay? You know how the paps get when they see something like a good story. I love you, and only you okay? You just have to trust me"

You leaned into his touch, hugging him back. Still not feeling secure but decides to ignore it.

He never did say sorry to those planned dates.

We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me This dancing was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

After the incident that happens two weeks ago, nothing was the same. The relationship started getting more toxic, one of you would be yelling at the other or mentally abusing eachotherTom started coming home late and was spending more time outside than with you. He wasn't even home for your anniversary, instead, he chose to go to a pub. You tried to get Harrison to speak to him, but he would always come back at you, yelling at you for dragging his friend into his.

So you decided to go to the pub he was in.

You called up your best friend and got yourself ready. You didn't expect the pub to be so filled, but then again clubbing was never really your thing. Music blazing, the smell of alcohol in the air. bodies rolling on each other. Your friend asks you if you were fine then heads straight to the dance floor.

You head to the bar and asked the bartender for a drink. After receiving your drink you sat on one of the stools and drink it, looking around to see if your boyfriend was around.

Finishing the drink and not seeing him, you were starting to feel bad for doubting him, getting ready to leave, you got up but when you do, you saw someone who looks like Tom grinding into a blonde girl.Confusion written on your face. You walk up closer to get a good look, surprised, shock, and anger running through your veins.

You watched as he grinds his hips into her, feeling her up with his hands. It made you sick. Disgusted. What made you feel even sicker was when he turned her around and held a full make-out session with her. Feeling the tears flow from your eyes, you left and tried to find your friend.

You explained to her what happen and even in her drunken state, she tried to comfort you, you both left and head home.

So much for being the only one.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

For days you felt like shit, for days you ignored his calls, for days you hated him.

You couldn't stand seeing his face, seeing how he was trying to pretend as if ntohing ever happened. It hurt you to know that he was playing his pretend role as if he was acting about how he feels about you. He tried calling but his calls were always ignored.

Tom felt as if you were slowly slipping away from him. He didn't know what he had done wrong. He thought everything was going well. He tried calling one more time, then gave up, deciding to give you your space.

To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me

Saying hello was always easy but saying goodbye was the hardest thing to do.Trying to shove all your clothes into the suitcase, shoving his hands off so your shoulder. You watch him, feeling no emotions, just blank. Empty. Nothing.

"I never thought, you of all people would cheat on me." "What do you mean? I never-" "Oh don't lie Thomas, I saw you, a few weeks ago when you were at the club. , If our relationship wasn't good why couldn't you have said anything? I spent days, weeks trying to get you to talk to me but no. I'm not even surprised, I mean they say actors lie about their true feelings, I guess I missed the warnings huh?"

Tom watched you in shock, not expecting you to call him out on that. He didn't plan for this to happen, it was supposed to be a one-time thing but the thrill and excitement he got made him feel something. He didn't mean to hurt you, but he did. And that was something that he could never take back.

"I'm sorry.." You let out a laugh, this whole situation was funny, "Now you're sorry, for what? For missing out on dates? Coming home late? Ignoring me? Oh wait is it because you got caught cheating on me with some bimbo right?"

"Don't call her that!"

"Ha, you even protect her... I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong"

And now the chapter is closed and done To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah

Months passed, four to be exact and you have been doing better after moving out of Tom's you were able to afford an apartment for yourself which you then rented out half to your friend. You got promoted from your job and now you're working for more money.

Standing in line, to order your favorite cup of drink, someone bounced into you, knocking their drink on you.

"Watch it you asshole!" "Y/N?"

You look up and notice Tom standing in front of you, holding two cups of coffee.

"Hey, how have you been?" "I've been good, have a few acting roles coming up for a new movie. How about you? I remember you were working for a fashion store"

"I became manager, the pay is nice. If I keep it up they might move me to another firm that pays higher"

He nodded his head at you, feeling a bit proud of you," Well I'm in town for a bit, I won't be leaving until next month"

"Nice" Que the awkwardness

"Hey look, I'm sorry for how things turned out, I didn't mean for it to happen. I was kind of hoping that we could probably talk like we used to, or go to dinner or-"

"Look, Tom, no hard feelings but I'm over that. I have a life now, you started this and you can't make me forget all the pain that you caused me. I'm over that, I'm done crying and you should too."

He nodded his head, trying to hide the disappointment he's feeling, he tried to put on a smile to play it off but you know better, "Well I hope to see you again"

Grabbing your cup of coffee from the cashier, you paid her and face time. You said something which made his smile dropped as he watched you walk out.

"And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us"

[curiousconch]

Chase You/Chase Me (Pt. 7)

Part 7: Round and around we go

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: The attack in McGraw Byrne's offices reveals a deeper conspiracy that runs to the top of the law firm, which Alex pursued head on. But when the dust settles, she is forced to face the music of her own troubled mind.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 2.1k+

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / themes of violence, and trauma, language. Reader discretion advised.

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

A week after, New York City

Shit. Shit. Shit.

The gunman panted as he ran through the dark and unfamiliar side streets of New York, the covering on his face not helping alleviate the sense of panic overtaking him.

His current state of mind paled in comparison with how calm he walked into the offices of that freakishly bright law firm.

The task was simple - get the phone and get out.

But when he found himself face to face with the woman who'd sent his life into a whirling clusterfuck, he didn't hesitate to pull the trigger.

He missed.

A brute of a man rammed into him right before he took a shot. Who knew corporate slaves can be combative? By then he knew he was fucked. He snatched the phone then ran.

An earlier scope of the building gave him an easy way out, but the shitty maze of the streets of the business district didn't give much of a reprieve.

I fucking hate this city.

He didn't know how long he'd been running, not until he had to stop by the dead end wall in front of him.

Blue and red flashing lights caught him in a daze, his breath heavy, realizing he was boxed in by police officers in an alley.

"Freeze!" one had shouted. "Raise your arms over your head!"

He didn't have a choice. He's not willing to die for his uncle, nor take another sentence in prison. That scumbag wasn't worth it, regardless of how many times that man tried drilling the thought into his head.

I'm tired of this shit anyway. Though I'll miss the perks.

He raised his hands, then felt his knees buckle when someone kicked him from behind, forcing him to the ground. Someone pulled the ski mask off his head, his face now exposed for everyone to see.

He was the younger, spitting image of Koenig's CEO. Except for those piercing blue eyes.

Now everyone will know, he thought. Poor uncle Peter will be burned to the stakes after he spill every single sordid detail of all the crimes Max was ordered to do.

From that pretty little celebrity in L.A., the poisoned man from Oklahoma, the researchers from Massachusetts, and all of those other victims in between.

Good thing he kept all those souvenirs. He will prove to them that he was just a pawn.

The pawn that was Maximilian Koenig Cornell.

**

A few days after, Rooftop of McGraw Byrne

Alex took another hit of nicotine from the cigarette between her fingers, standing by the edge of the fancy rooftop lounge. She exhaled a plume of smoke, the friction in her throat giving herself a temporary reprieve from her chaotic state of mind.

By the rest of the world's standards, it should have been a beautiful day. The skies above her was indigo, filled with streaks of orange from the setting sun. The peacefulness of it a far cry from the storm that was brewing inside her.

Success shouldn't feel this way. She was having a hard time basking in her recent victories.

Alex was just named junior partner this morning, after successfully taking Peter Koenig and Sadie McGraw down. Max Cornell, who turned out to be Koenig's nephew slash hitman, had confessed. He revealed who really was pulling the ropes, all in the form of well-kept call logs and text messages.

The backlash of it all reached McGraw Byrne's founding partner. The same form of proof exposed Sadie's hand on the Koenig class action suit, as well as her involvement in tipping off authorities to paint Marcus Sharpe as Aliana's murderer. The intent was to veer suspicion away from Koenig, making thousands of dollars along the way.

Alex had completely unraveled the conspiracy, with the help of Aislinn and Gigi. Beau, surprisingly, was more than participative. But it was obvious for everyone at the firm who led the crackdown, and it didn't take long for recognition to come to pass.

In everyone else's eyes, she emerged the winner.

And now, when all is said and done, there was nothing to escape to.

Alex can no longer disassociate herself from the sight of the gun barrel held by the ghost she tried to forget all these years.

The sound of applause, soured only by Martin Vanderweil's display of pain-in-the-ass arrogance, should have made her want to enjoy the fruits of her labor. Instead, here she was, wallowing with herself to be overcame by old bad habits.

What happened in the library was etched in her mind, clear as day. The memory of that close encounter with death, being brought up to life by the lack of distractions, made her shudder.

Every waking hour was consumed by the man with the haunting blue eyes that meant death. Those same eyes from the past that suffocated her for so long.

A decade spent running away from them, yet they still caught up with her.

She worked so hard not to remember, not to let it bring her down, for it not to be her end game. She's at the top of the fucking career ladder, yet why can't she still have a sense of freedom?

Everything just felt wrong. She felt out of place.

Lost in her frustrations, she didn't hear the whirring of the elevator and the approaching footsteps that followed.

"Thought I'd find you here," Gabe said, stopping inches away from her.

It took everything of her not to swivel and look at him, opting to curse at herself for how her body quickly relaxed by the softness of his voice.

The storm clouding her mind instantly dissipated, leaving her bare. Gabe's presence made the oceans within her stand still, as if awaiting to be stirred.

"Didn't want to be found," she mumbled, closing her lips on the still burning stick of nicotine. Alex struggled to keep her gaze steady at the slowly darkening skyline.

I know. Gabe wanted to say. He knew that finding her here, seeking out the comfort of isolation screamed her desire to be left alone. He had seen her internal turmoil, hiding behind the air of stoicism she projected for everyone else.

That's why he was never more determined to find her. He wanted, no, needed, to be there for her.

Gabe knew he'd been a dick to walk out from her that morning in L.A., right after he admitted what he felt for her.

But there was rarely an opportunity to make it right. Whenever there was, there was no getting through her. No matter how much he tried to reach out, to make her see that he regretted his actions that day, she wouldn't let him in.

He couldn't blame her.

Gabe told himself he'd give her time, to give her space. However, fate had other plans.

He almost lost her that night, and it was a wake up call. When he watched helplessly as Cornell aimed at her, something in him shifted. He's no longer stuck in a limbo questioning who Alex was for him, or why he constantly wanted to be near her, wanting to make everything right.

He was decided to run after her, to stay with her, no matter what. He was done chasing after dreams of the past.

Alex was his future.

"Can't get rid of me easily," he settled on that reply, leaning on the glass railing beside her.

"Really?" she quipped sardonically. "I honestly didn't take you to be the staying type."

That had to sting.

He knew he'd hurt her by leaving, so he deserved that. It wasn't enough to make his resolve waver.

"I am," he insisted. "It just takes me some time to find my footing."

She lifted a hand to him. "Don't go there, Gabe. Just don't - "

"I'm not walking away from you again, Alex," he professed.

She whirled to face him with a look of sullen resignation. "I know."

Deep down, she wanted him too. But not in the fucked-up state she was in. She needed to think, she needed to recover, she needed to get a grip on herself.

But she needed to do it alone.

"I can't deal with us now, it's just.." She sighed. "Everything else that's happened is too overwhelming."

Gabe deflated.

It was the first time he heard her admit defeat. He's gotten used to seeing her fighting every step of the way, that finding her in this state of hopelessness felt alien to him. His chest tightened, hating himself on taking part of what pushed her to breaking point.

"I need to take a step back from everything, Gabe," she said, almost begging. "That includes you."

"What do you mean?"

"Can I to take some time off?" she pleaded, wrapping herself in her own arms. "I have to hit pause for now."

"For how long, Alex?" Gabe's voice was strained. She just made it clear that he wasn't what she needed.

Still he hoped. So he held his breath.

Alex thought quietly for a few moments, before looking back at him in determination. He found a semblance of the Alex he knew.

"A couple of weeks," she answered with a tone of finality.

He didn't want to. But in his heart of hearts, he had to respect her decision. He understood that even the strongest needed to heal. Even the brave Alex Keating.

"I'll arrange it," he relented, closing his fists at his sides to stop himself from reaching out to her. "Anything else?"

She hesitated, biting her lower lip before she continued. "Actually, there is one more thing."

"What is it?" Gabe watched intently as she raised her head to look at him, her mouth curved into that familiar signature smirk that he'd grown to chase after.

"Will you wait for me?"

As per her usual modus operandi, Alex took his breath away by her unpredictability. Almost immediately, Gabe wrapped his arm around her to pull her close. He raised his free hand and let his knuckles brush against her cheek.

He smiled softly, a tad afraid that by holding her this close could break her. And yet, the effect she had on him couldn't be stopped from spilling out, as if it was what he wanted to say all along.

"I've waited my whole life for you, so what's a few more weeks?"

Alex beamed at him, relieved. "I knew you'll be up for the challenge."

"Because I care about you, Alex," he whispered.

"I care about you too."

Alex then dared to take it forward.

Before he had the chance to move away, she tiptoed and surprised him with a tender kiss on the cheek.

Gabe wasn't able to react as quickly, the contact catapulting his senses. Just as his mind plunged back to the ground, she was already walking away, the clicking of her black heels syncopating along with the beating drum inside his chest.

His sight followed her until she stood by herself in the employee elevator, her brown-eyed gaze melting him with earnest affection. As the doors shut closed, so did the heart of Gabriel Ricci.

It shut down in anticipation of her return.

**

Two months later

Mind hazy and craving for Chinese food, Gabe had asked the driver to take a quick detour.

He had just flown from Los Angeles, spending two weeks to assist on a big hotel chain M&A. He got out of LaGuardia at around 10pm, and now his jet lag and empty stomach were taking its toll on him.

The car stopped at the familiar block, and he got out of the vehicle, grabbing his suitcase. He walked the rest of the way, enjoying the craziness of New York City on a Friday night.

For a minute, it reminded him of her.

He heard rumors of her coming back, but HR had been heftily secretive on all things concerning her. With the firm fidgety over Vanderweil's recent harassment lawsuits, he erred on the safe side and didn't poke further.

It didn't take long for him to find Hoi On. Once inside, he greeted the servers in flawless Cantonese, striding straight to the counter.

As he gave his order, the kitchen crew brought out a bag of hunger-inducing takeout box. He was almost tempted to bargain for it instead of waiting for another 20 minutes. Until...

"Order complete for Alex!"

Gabe froze.

His senses were instantly filled by the familiar scent of coffee and vanilla and the echoing beat of heels hitting the floor.

There was no doubt about who was approaching the counter.

He found her standing beside him, the woman he'd missed every single day since he saw her last. The powerhouse junior partner with the easy smile and confident aura.

The woman whose return Gabe eagerly waited for.

"So," Alex began. "I take it tinsel town's fusion of cuisines can't match authentic Brooklyn takeout?" she teased, smiling at him in the same red dress she wore the first time she walked into his office.

He looked down over her - closely looking at the tiny changes in her features. Regardless, she looked more beautiful, taking note of the longer, loose tendrils of brunette hair framing her face.

"No," Gabe shook his head in amazement, his lips breaking into a lopsided grin. "Everything else couldn't compare."

She chuckled. The radiance of her laughter showed Gabe she was really back, and that she was finally ready.

"I bet they couldn't," she winked.

In an instant, Gabe's heart awoke from its slumber. It's as if it knew that this time, the wait was over.

The chase has come full circle.

Author's Notes: This may be the end of this series, but Alex & Gabe will return.

How did you find it? Let me see in your comments/reblogs! Thank you! 💖

Tag list: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @latinagiraffe @sarcastic01lily  @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer @thegreentwin @mkatschoicesblog @made-of-roses @lillijill @kachrisberry @weaving-in-words @peonierose @wanderingamongthewildflowers

@choicesficwriterscreations @lawsofattractionfanfiction

[whitewolfmoving]

Boston Burning Part Two

Explosion

Summary: Over breakfast, Nika recounts the events of the fire for Chris; afterwards, he reminds her that she is anything but useless.

Warnings: description of fire emergency, description of fire-related injuries, description of being trapped in a burning building, slight angst, description of non-sexual nakedness

Word Count: 2218

A/N: Chapter two is here! I had so much fun writing this chapter and developing Chris and Nika's relationship. For the sake of this part of the series, Chris and Nika's dynamic is just as important as Sebastian and Nika's dynamic. Happy reading!

Waking up in Boston the next morning was a breath of fresh air for Nika. While she couldn't get her mind off of the fact that she was out of work until her body healed, she had accepted the fact that she was pretty much on a paid vacation. And Chris had upgraded from his small studio apartment in downtown Boston to a fully furnished three-bedroom condo close to the firehouse since her last visit, so at least she wasn't putting him out.

It'd been days since she last talked to her brother, and Nika was more than content to continue her stay in Boston without his hovering. They had always been close, but Sebastian could be a bit overbearing at times, which was the last thing she needed right now. She wouldn't feel guilty for not checking in with him — she was a big girl,  she didn't have anything to feel guilty for...

The scent of fresh waffles wafted through the air, finally pulling Nika out of bed. She stretched, grabbed her hearing aids from the nightstand next to her bed and shoved them in the pocket of her pajama pants. No use putting them in before she was ready, sounds of the early morning were a little too  overwhelming for her and Chris knew sign anyway.

"Hey, there she is! Morning, Honeybee," Chris exclaimed once Nika had made her way downstairs. He pointed to his ear when she sat at the island across from him, she shook her head. He gave her a knowing smile. "I wondered when breakfast would get you out of bed."

"Not just any breakfast… I only get out of bed this early for your waffles." Nika laughed, stealing a strip of crispy bacon from the platter.

"How are you feeling? Sleep okay?" Leave it to Chris to make sure she was as comfortable as possible with her arm in a sling and bandages inhibiting movement even if it weren't.

She shrugged. "Slept okay for the most part, your guest bed is really comfortable. My wrist is sore but manageable, my shoulder and chest hurt more than I care to say."

Chris frowned. Nika was always an unstoppable, immovable force to be reckoned with; for her to admit to being in pain, even a little bit, things had to be worse than she'd originally let on. He took the last waffle off of the iron and set it on the platter with the others, then nodded to the dining table. "Go sit. I'll bring juice and your meds. Let's eat, then we'll see about relieving some of the discomfort on your chest and shoulder, okay?"

Nika had to hand it to him, Chris's hovering was much different than Sebastian's. Her brother often forgot that she was a grown woman who could take care of herself, that she didn't need him constantly looking out for her every second of the day like he had when they were kids. But Chris opted for a more hands off approach to everything — unless she outright stated that she needed help, he let her do her own thing for the most part. Coming to Boston was definitely the right choice.

As they sat down at the table, Nika slipped both hearing aids in and turned them on, setting the volume lower than usual since it would just be her and Chris. She took a deep breath and sighed, adjusting first thing was always the worst part. Once the ringing in her ears died down to where it was bearable, she smiled up at him.

"Why do you always make waffles and bacon my first day here?" she asked, dragging a strip of bacon through the syrup on her plate and plopping it in her mouth.

"Why do you always defile my prize-winning bacon like that?" Chris countered, scrunching his nose up in mock disgust.

"Because you make that face right there," she said, giggling around a mouthful of warm waffles.

"Because you smile that smile right there," he replied sincerely.

They'd had that conversation a billion and one times before, and each time their answers were the same.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Chris waved to get her attention. The distant look in her eyes told him that she'd been somewhere else, and he could already guess where. He poured a glass of orange juice and handed it over to her along with the medication she needed to take that morning.

"Do you wanna tell me about it?"

"Would you believe me if I said I don't?"

"Nope. You forget I know you just as well as Seb does. So, come on, out with it."

Nika exhaled deeply. "Dispatch routed Squad, Truck, and Engine to a four-story house fire on Main. By the time we got there, you just knew we only had enough time to get everyone out before the flash. Mackie and Nova went to vent the back and clear downstairs, I went up to the top. The main floor was clear, the second floor had two. Mackie got them out and I kept going to the third floor, it was also clear. Finally reached the top floor and called out, the smoke is so thick by this point that I can't see not two feet in front of me."

"Why didn't you wait for Mack or Seb?" Chris asked. He could tell where the story was headed before Nika had even started speaking again; a burning desire to kick the ass of whoever had done this to her welled up in his veins, but he held it at bay so she could finish.

"Sebastian was off for the night. We had to clear the building before the ceiling came down, Chris. What else was I supposed to do?" She wished he wouldn't look at her like that. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and continued. "I cleared the front bedrooms, the nursery, the bathroom. I kept calling out but no one responded. I made it all the way down the hall, the heat was unbearable, the smoke was dark and bitter. I could see just enough, and I only had one more room to clear when Chief Jackson made the call to evacuate, saying it was gonna come down. You don't have to tell me twice, you know? Me and Bas have been in enough flashovers to know when to get the hell out of Dodge.

I turned to leave, head back the way I came when the door to my left burst open. A body landed on top of me out of nowhere. He just kept shouting at me, saying someone had to pay for ruining his plan and that it was my lucky day. I kept trying to get him off of me but he wouldn't budge, he just kept looking up at the burning ceiling and counting down. He grabbed my helmet, my mask… I couldn't breathe, I couldn't call for help."

Chris reached across the table and took Nika's hand in his, giving her an encouraging squeeze. There was so much he wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come.

"The only thing I remember before waking up in the hospital is the whole thing coming down on top of me. I blinked and the guy wasn't there anymore; it was just me, alone, under piles of burning debris. I could feel the flames eating through my gear, burning away my skin. And I couldn't do anything except lay there helpless. Just before I blacked out I heard Bas calling me."

"What did he say?"

"What he always says whenever I'm too far away, Întoarce-te la mine, Micuță. And then I woke up in the hospital with a broken wrist and second-degree burns on my shoulder and across half of my chest. If anything else happened between the house coming down and me waking up in the hospital, I don't know."

Chris's fingers opened and closed around Nika's. He didn't have the words to express the mix of emotions running through his body, all he knew was that he wanted to get his hands on the man from the fire and make sure he didn't get to walk away again. He blew out a long breath and looked across the table at her.

"You can stay here for as long as you need to," he offered.

Nika stood, awkwardly clearing the empty plates from the table with one hand. "Thanks. But I don't know how to do this. I'm a firefighter, I don't know how to just be a regular person. Right now, I'm completely useless."

Chris couldn't believe what he was hearing. The pain etched on her face and laced in her voice was unbearable. He wanted nothing more than to take it away, and give her back that sense of purpose she always found in her career, but how could he? Until she'd fully healed, there was nothing anyone could really do. He couldn't imagine the thoughts going through her head.

He took the plates from her hand and set them in the sink, then led her from the kitchen to the bathroom. He may not have been able to change what happened, but he could help her relax.

"What are you doing?" Exhaustion settled deep within Nika's bones. It'd been the first time she'd told anyone what all she remembered from the fire, and she couldn't help feeling like she had screwed up somehow. Why else would someone have been able to get the jump on her so easily? Why else would she have gone down without a fight?

Chris stepped up behind her, positioned her in front of the mirror, and gently pulled her hearing aids from her ears. When she protested, he held his hands up signaling her to wait.

"The woman standing in front of me is far from useless." He grabbed the hem of the t-shirt she'd worn to bed, gently lifted it over her head and carefully pulled it from her injured arm. The unsightly bandages stuck out on her chest like a sore thumb, and he watched as she wrinkled her nose at her reflection in the mirror.

He slowly pulled the bandages away, the skin underneath was raw and bruised. She stood before him half-naked, a look of annoyance clouding her amber eyes.

Chris gently washed over the back of her shoulder and across the right side of her chest with warm water, careful not to agitate the wound too much. Nika's skin was warm to the touch, he often said it was because she had fire in her veins. He looked at her in the mirror as he rinsed the soap from her chest. "She's strong, she's courageous, she's stubborn, she's wild, she's a total badass."

Nika snorted, rolling her eyes. The burn would leave behind scarring along her collarbone, breast, and shoulder blade. Nothing about her currently seemed anything like what Chris had described. "Don't be stupid, Evans."

"I'm serious." Chris used a clean piece of gauze to pat the area on her chest and shoulder dry before bandaging it up again. He moved her hair off to the side and kissed the top of her head. "I see the woman who survived a freak accident, I see my best friend. She may be a little broken, a little bruised, a little scarred. But you are anything but useless, Nik. And you'll get through this."

"Being a firefighter is all I am, it's all I have," she explained sadly. She put her hearing aids back in and followed Chris from the bathroom.

"Somehow I don't think that's right, Nik. That's not all you are."

"And how would you know? You've never done anything else a day in your life either, Chris! You live and breathe being a firefighter just as much as I do."

"Maybe. But you're also my best friend, you're Sebastian's annoying kid sister. And you're a great chef, for one. You have other things you like to do in your down time. It's not the end of the world."

"Those are hobbies. Firefighting is my life. Without it, I'm nothing."

"You're talking as if you've already been told not to go back."

"We both know Bas won't want me to go back. The call was too close."

Chris sighed and pulled Nika into a hug. He didn't have the answer this time, but he wouldn't leave her to figure it out on her own.

Nika thanked whatever god was listening that she'd cried out all of her tears in the hospital bed. And maybe Chris was right. Just because she couldn't work right now didn't mean she wouldn't ever work again. And maybe the time off would do her some good, give her a chance to see what else was out there beyond the fast-pace of firefighting.

But when she thought of what the future had to offer her outside of the firehouse, that scared her more than rushing into burning buildings did. Firefighting lived in Nika's veins.

"Hey," Chris stepped back so he could look her in the eyes. He brushed a stray strand of hair from her forehead and smiled. "Whatever happens back home, you know you always have a place here at 64."

Till The End of All Things Taglist: @arrowsandmixtapes @pinknerdpanda

[cherryblossomstars]

I. Oxford (W. Ushijima)

Taken from my AO3 series of one-shots & reposted here

Pairing: Ushijima x F!Reader

Word count: 2,636 (oops)

Genre: Fluff/Kinda crack

Summary: Aoba Johsai's volleyball team has never been able to defeat the Great Ushiwaka of Shiratorizawa. Their manager, however? She can bring him to his knees in mere seconds.

Or, Ushijima Wakatoshi is helplessly in love with Seijoh's Ace's twin sister, and the Aoba Johsai VBC is not appreciative of it.

Next

"Oh, really? When's your next practice match? I'll try to make it." You talk into your phone and you practically send the hinges on your twin brother's door flying.

Hajime lays on his bed and looks up at you from his phone with an annoyed face. You ignore the threatening glare being sent your way, and flop yourself onto his stomach. He groans quietly, trying not to interrupt your call, and tries to shove you off. His efforts, however, are futile and he eventually accepts his death by his sister's hands (or, more accurately, stomach).

Oikawa, who was sitting on the floor of your darling brother's room, looks away from the video game he was playing on the TV to send you a questioning look.

"Friday. Can you go?" Your boyfriend, the eternal rival of the man sitting on the floor, responds.

"Mm," You hold the phone slightly away from your face, "Hajime, did I have anything planned on Friday?"

"How the hell would I- oh, yeah, movie night." He answers.

You scrunch your face up and put the phone back against your ear, "what time's the game?"

Oikawa and Hajime immediately groan when they connect two and two together, realizing you were talking to none other than the great Ushijima Wakatoshi himself.

"She can't go!" Oikawa yells, "movie night's actually gonna be all day!"

"Then... why is it called movie night..." Your boyfriend asks. You can practically see the tilt of his head and the furrow of his brows.

"Ugh, ignore him," you stick your tongue out at your captain and lightly push your foot against his head, which he was leaning against the bed frame.

I will bite you Oikawa mouths at you.

Fucking try it you scowl at him.

He purses his lips and instead turns back around to play on your brother's Switch.

"So, what time's the game?" You ask again.

"If you will be watching movies with your team, then-"

You sigh, "seriously, what time is it gonna be? If it's before it starts then I'll be able to make it. Might have to leave early, though."

"Four thirty." He responds.

You hum in thought, "hmm... Movie night's gonna start around six. Think it'll last that long?"

"Maybe."

"If you finish early, wanna join?" You bite back a laugh when you watch Hajime and Oikawa's heads snap towards you. Oikawa looks like he might pass out at the thought of Wakatoshi crashing an Aoba Johsai movie night, and Hajime is furiously shaking his head at you.

"I'm not sure your team would like that." Wakatoshi concludes.

You lightly laugh, "you're right, they wouldn't, but that's why I'm asking."

"What kind of manager are you?! Traitor!" Oikawa yells in distress. "Gimme that!" He makes grabby hands at your phone.

You hold him back by pressing your foot against his head, "I'll be there, Toshi. See you then. Love you."

"See you then. I love you too." Click

You put your phone down and turn your focus to your two toddlers boys. Oikawa has once again paused his game and Hajime isn't sure if he's willing to intervene the stare down going on between you and your team captain. You try to crack a smile, but he's still not impressed.

"Zumi-Chan..." He rests his chin on the edge of the bed and pouts at you, "why would you do that?"

You can't help but internally coo at the face he's making at you. You sit up, finally releasing your brother from death by crushing, and run your fingers through his hair. "Sorry, Oikawa, you know I didn't mean it."

He sits up and leans towards you, "finally gonna profess your undying love for me?"

Your eye twitches and before you can respond, a pillow hits him smack in the middle of his face and he falls back onto the floor. "O-ow! Iwa-chan... So mean..."

"Stay the hell away from my sister, Kusokawa." He threatens, holding up another pillow in preparation for another unwarranted comment.

He puffs his cheeks out, "I know, I know." He takes one of the joy-cons off and waves it in front of you, "in the mood for a round of Smash? Iwa-chan's trash." Another pillow comes flying at him, but he effectively dodges it. Hajime takes another pillow from his bed and, instead of throwing it this time, just whacks him with it. Oikawa is only able to let out a whimper and crawls onto the bed, situating himself behind you.

You can't help but laugh out loud, "Oiks, you only call him trash cause you're a really sore loser."

"Not true!" He hands you a joy-con. "Now, c'mon. Let's play. You guys bought all the DLC and I wanna play as Joker."

"Prepare for a shameful defeat." You smirk and choose your character.

"Isabelle? Zumi-chan, you honestly choose the most awful characters." He huffs.

You shrug, "yeah, I know. It's gonna be a lot more humiliating if you lose to Isabelle. Prepare to get your ass handed to you, Oiks."

Until your third year at Kitagawa Daiichi, your world had been blue. Kitagawa Daiichi's school colors had been blue. Your brother and Oikawa have always worn blue. Those two had been your whole life. Hajime, your twin brother, who you loved dearly. When you were born, you were literally born blue. Because you were a weak baby, the nurse had stuck your twin into the same incubator as you. This resulted in an almost immediate improvement in your health, and the both of you are rarely seen apart. Oikawa, your brother's best friend (and also therefore yours), whose soul cannot be described as anything but a bright, burning blue flame has never failed to be there for you, either.

Your world has always been surrounded by blue. Aoba Johsai's colors were white and blue for God's sake. It's a color you've grown to love. It was familiar, it had an all-enveloping warmth. When you thought of the people and the things you loved, you'd have to think of the color blue, too.

And then Shiratorizawa brought in their new cannon, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Being a star volleyball player yourself, you had been too busy with your own games and tournaments throughout your middle school career to make it to a lot of the boys' volleyball games to support Hajime and Oikawa. You'd heard complaints about the Great Ushiwaka from not only Oikawa, but the whole volleyball team. The first time you'd actually seen Ushiwaka in person was on the court against your junior high in your third year.

With the third year of junior high came the great Ushiwaka, who crashed into your life and completely and unapologetically shattered your blue world. With him came a drop of maroon, and suddenly everything was different.

Kitagawa had lost. Oikawa was beyond upset, but swore he would defeat Ushiwaka one day. You waited at the gymnasium's foyer for the boys' volleyball team to finish their huddle so you could comfort your friends.

Shiratorizawa had finished their huddle first and began to leave. While most of them had already left the building, there you stood right in front of the gym's entrance and pointing a finger at the ace of the opposing team. Said ace still recalls this memory fondly, since it was the first time the both of you had met.

"You're awful." You had said with an accusatory finger pointed directly at his face.

The stolid face of Ushijima Wakatoshi had broken into one of shock. This girl, who was wearing a Kitagawa volleyball jacket and had to practically tilt her head at a ninety degree angle just to look at him, had just called him awful.

"I apologize if I have upset-"

You dropped your hand to rest on your hip. "Your spikes are ridiculous. It's obvious your setter was having a hard time keeping up with you. You need to be more consistent with your spikes. And your form needs some fixing too. If you're able to maintain your form, you're open to a lot more options while you're still in mid-air."

He tilts his head, "why are you giving me advice? I am your enemy."

You shrugged, "volleyball is volleyball. As a setter myself, it pisses me off when your spikes and your setter's sets aren't connecting well."

"You are a setter?"

You nodded, "yep." A smirk made its way to your face, "that said... You're actually really impressive. No, actually you're incredible. Especially in middle school. You've got more room for improvement, but seriously... I've never seen an ace like you before. Good job out there today."

"You are not upset I defeated your team?" He was normally confused in the manners of other people's feelings, but you were another anomaly entirely.

"You've got amazing skills. Sometimes it just can't be helped." You explained. "Don't get me wrong though. I'm upset that my team is upset. But as for the loss itself... it was a fair game. It's not like you cheated." You see Hajime and Oikawa enter the foyer. "Sorry, gotta go. But consider what I said, 'kay?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"Oh! I'm Iwaizumi [Name], by the way. I'll be going to Aoba Johsai next year."

He furrowed his brows, why was she telling him this? "I'm Ushijima Wakatoshi. I will be attending Shiratorizawa next year."

"Good." You begin to walk off, hands in your jacket's pockets, "I'd better see you at the spring high tournament next year, then. See you around, Ushiwaka."

Ushiwaka. Ah, so she's friends with Oikawa. "Set for me."

You spun around, "eh?"

"Set for me. You told me what I need to improve on and that my setter is having trouble keeping up with me. You said you are a setter."

"W-Well, yeah, but..."

"Then set for me. You want to improve as a setter, and I want to improve as an ace."

What Hajime and Oikawa don't know won't kill them. You held your hand out, and he gave you his phone. You quickly typed it in. "I'm usually free on weekends. I have morning practice on Mondays and Thursdays, so I'm free after school then. Afternoon practice on all the other weekdays. I'm out by six thirty on those days. Got it?"

He didn't, but he nodded anyway.

And thus, you were given the title of Ushiwaka's favorite setter.

Regardless, it was still hard to deal with the malice of Shiratorizawa when you went to their practice games. You were sticking out like a sore fucking thumb. You had come after school, meaning you were still in your Aoba Johsai uniform. You had gotten permission to be on campus, of course, but the intimidation just came with being from a rival school. You stood on the balcony, watching the boys stretch before their practice match. You gave a little wave to your boyfriend when you made eye contact, which he returned with a small smile. Tendou Satori watched him with confusion before turning to what he was looking at. When he noticed you, he excitedly waved at you.

"[Name]!" He yelled, a bright smile taking over his face. His exclamation caused not only the Shiratorizawa volleyball boys to turn to look at you, but the other team turned in curiosity as well. You mentally face palmed and felt your face grow red.

You gave a sheepish wave and the Shiratorizawa boys greeted you with glee before getting yelled at by Coach Washijo.

The first part of the game went well, but at the beginning of the second set the opposing team's setter landed the wrong way and hurt his ankle really badly. With him being the only setter, the opposing team wasn't sure what to do. Both they and Shiratorizawa wanted to continue, but without a setter...

"Iwaizumi, can you set?" Coach Washijo called from the floor, turning to look at you. Consequently, so did everyone currently on the gym floor.

"Eh? Me?" You pointed at yourself, "but... Um, I'm a girl."

"It's a practice match." He said matter-of-factly.

"I-Uh-I'm in uniform." You refute.

"You can't set in your uniform?" He asked.

Your eye twitches, "but... Why not make Eita-san set for them?"

"We need our pinch server." Ah, damn. You're out of rebuttals.

"Yeah, sure, I can set." You answer. "I guess." You mutter under your breath and make your way downstairs.

You strip off your school jacket, sweater, and tie and put on a practice jersey.

"Should you be playing in a skirt?" Tendou brings up.

"It's fine. I won't be jumping high enough for me to flash you guys, anyway. Besides," you smirk, "if you're paying attention to that, then your eyes aren't on the ball."

You turn to the team you will now be playing for, introducing yourself.

"Iwaizumi?" One of the players asks, "like the ace from Seijoh?"

"He's my twin brother." You explain.

"And you're a setter, huh? Good matchup. Did you learn from Oikawa, then?" He continues.

"Yeah, actually. I got into volleyball because of them. Everything I know about setting is because of Oikawa." You really hope your praise doesn't somehow make it's way to Oikawa himself. You didn't need to raise his ego any more.

"That's amazing! Let's do this, then." The team captain sets out the plan.

While Shiratorizawa had taken the first set, the addition of you on the opposing team had allowed your side to take the second set. Tendou had called you a traitor at the end of the second set. They had taken back the third set, anyway.

You were a few minutes late to movie night with the Seijoh team, but you shot the Seijoh groupchat a quick explanation before the third set began. Wakatoshi offered to walk you home, which you gladly accepted.

"You are my favorite setter." He says to you.

"Don't let Shirabu or Eita hear you say that." You joke.

"I think you have the same effect on me as Oikawa has on his own team." He explains to you.

You look at him in shock, "that's... that's a serious compliment, Toshi. Thank you." You've always looked up to Oikawa as a fellow setter. His skill was unparalleled. People could say he wasn't a genius or a prodigy, but he more than made up for it with the hard work he put into his career. Oikawa Tooru is what every setter wants to be. Sure, that first year from Karasuno (Kadokawa? You can't remember) could set with pin-point accuracy, but Oikawa's leadership skills and experience far outclassed his. Not to mention his charisma.

"Or perhaps it is because I simply trust you with everything I have." He brings up.

"Oh, so it's not because I'm a good setter." You jokingly pout, but when you gaze up at him he has a hint of a teasing expression on his face.

He simply hums in response and the both of you stop in front of your house. Before you can even open your mouth to say something, your front door bursts open.

"There she is!" Oikawa yells, standing in front of the doorway with the rest of the Seijoh team standing behind him, barely in view. His eyes narrow at the man standing next to you. "You."

You roll your eyes, "go back inside, Oiks. I'll be right there."

"You're already half an hour late." Matsukawa mentions.

"Seriously, do you have any manners? You even brought Ushiwa-"

"Maki, seriously? Right now?" You groan and turn to face Wakatoshi once again. "The band of idiots require me. I'll see you next time, Toshi. Love you." You press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I love you too." He waves to you as you walk inside the house. When the door shuts, he walks off and touches his lips with a soft smile.

Fin.

[linphd]

ex!aizawa x ex!villain!reader | mr.blue [angst]

shouta aizawa x reader

female reader

(Y/N) turned villain after many years with Shouta. But now that she's stopping, she still has to say her goodbyes.

warning : big ass angst, death, sad shouta

the lyrics are from mr.blue by catherine feeny and the whole story is 100% inspired by Bojack Horseman's ending so don't read and watch the video I've put if you don't want to get spoiled oof

(Y/N) and Shouta met when she was in her 1st year at U.A. He was a Big Three, thus he had to train her class and help them with hero work. They became the interns of the same hero, and that's when they started dating. When the girl finally graduated U.A, they moved in together. Their life was most of the time peaceful. However, when Shouta became a teacher himself, he got very busy. It was already something that hurt (Y/N), even if she knew it wasn't his fault ; he was even trying to be with her as much as he could, despite her being a pro hero as well. And she was kind of famous !

Indeed, she was one of the top 20 heroes, and the man not wanting to be in the spotlight, he was trying to avoid wherever she was going -as paparazzis were always nearby. Still, their couple and their love for each other was much stronger than busy schedules. It was Shouta who asked his partner to marry him. That night, they had gone to a fancy restaurant, they had watched a movie (Y/N) had been wanting to see for a long time, and the brunette was wearing a blue suit. It wasn't typical of him to wear blue, but it was a suit the woman had bought him. He wanted her to be happy. And after that night, it became 'the suit you asked me to marry you in' as she called it. Shouta didn't mind the name.

Their wedding was so beautiful. They both referred to it as the best day of their lives. All of their friends were there, the music had been perfect, the food had been perfect, and Shouta had even managed to dance perfectly, impressing even his now wife. He couldn't forget the smile she had worn the whole night, and even the two days after. She even got pregnant, yeah. It was a girl, and they had named her (D/N). But (Y/N) was 7 months pregnant when she had a miscarriage. Villains attacked their house, because of her rank. And Shouta couldn't do anything. Their lives couldn't be the same after that.

After what happened, (Y/N) kept training and training, her quirk affecting her sanity. It was a dangerous quirk. The legend said that whenever she was angry somewhere, the sky would turn into storm. When she would be sad, it would turn into rain. But it would only be where she would be standing, not affecting the rest of the town. And Shouta knew ; that legend was true. (Y/N) got depression. Maybe he did, too. But one day, he woke up, and she was gone.

She only left him a letter : ''(H/N) is gone. Tell the news I'm dead, that villains killed me in front of you. I'm not coming back'' it said. And Shouta knew that losing his daughter was one of the worst day of his life, but losing his wife had been even worst than anything else. He knew (Y/N) wasn't gone for real. Some nights, while he was doing his hero work, she would attack him, out of the blue, for fun. She looked like a villain, her hero costume was just a memory to him, now. Her quirk had left some traces on her ; her eyes looked crazy. She looked tired. She looked insane. And Shouta knew that that smile was fake, as the sky would always turn a dark purple with scary clouds, whenever she was.

She never got caught. Even after 5 years, she didn't get caught. As he had new students, Shouta had to investigate on the League of Villains. And weirdly, she had managed to befriend them and they were now a part of her own villain relations. They were so many. But weirdly, never once they attacked heroes he knew. The League of Villains attacked U.A, yes. But (Y/N) and her own minions ? Never once. He didn't know who they attacked. He didn't care as long as she wasn't caught.

Mr. Blue, I told you that I love you.

Please believe me.

Mr. Blue, I have to go now.

Darling don't be angry.

A few years later, it was Midnight's wedding. Everyone was having fun, and even some students had been invited as they had graduated U.A. Still, Shouta wasn't someone who partied, even after all those years. He just went outside, and stood on a hill nearby. The sky was beautiful. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard footsteps. Thinking it was Hizashi, the brunette turned his head carelessly. But how wrong he was. ''How did you hear about the wedding ?'' He asked. ''I hear about a lot of things. And I wouldn't miss Nemuri's wedding.'' (Y/N) replied, standing next to him, but far enough not to make it too intimate.

Knowing he would break at seeing her this close, the man turned his gaze back to the stars. ''She never heard I was a villain. I retired, anyway.'' The woman continued, Shouta's eyes widening. ''What do you mean ?'' He asked her, confused. ''It's over, for me. My quirk is worst than before. I may die if I use it again. I used drugs, you know ? I used to talk with the yakuzas when I was at my villain peak.'' She said, a little smile on her face -maybe nostalgia ? ''Did you like it ?'' Shouta asked, calmly. ''Well, it was nice while it lasted.'' She replied, smiling. ''Just like our relationship together.'' She continued, making the brunette sigh at her words. To him, the relationship wasn't really over. Sure, they weren't together, but there was still something

''I never broke up with you. You just... left.'' He said. He was right. It made (Y/N) uncomfortable that he was right. So she decided to make him uncomfortable instead ; it was what she used to do. ''You're wearing the blue suit. The suit you asked me to marry you in. Were you expecting me ?'' She asked, chuckling. ''Maybe ? I don't have many suits. You were the one finding them for me. Hizashi isn't really good at it.'' He explained, making the woman smile. But he kept talking. ''I loved you, for 17 years.'' He said. ''I wasn't even 17 when we met.'' She replied, chuckling.

I know that you're tired.

I know that you're sour and sick,

and sad for some reason.

''There were so many things I wanted to tell you. But now that you're here, I don't know what to do.'' Shouta said, not being able to put words on what he was feeling. ''You just feel... comforting, you know ?'' He tried to illustrate his emotions. ''Do you remember, when we started dating, you said you liked being in the same room as me, cause it was a peaceful room ?'' The woman asked, making him nod. ''I guess even after all this time, it's still peaceful.'' He said. ''Why did you never try to attack me ? You are a hero, after all.'' (Y/N) asked. ''I didn't want to. And you never did something that made agencies send me. You never attacked the school, nor our friends... you've always been clever.''

''This discussion is shit. Can you believe that ? We went through so much shit together, that we don't have anything else to say. And still, it's comforting.'' The woman said. ''I don't see why it wouldn't be comforting. I've never been mad at you. When you left, the only thing I thought was : '(Y/N) is gone, and now everything's worst.' But I don't blame you. Our life was hell. It was surely better for us to stop being together. It couldn't work, even if we still want it to work.'' Shouta said, admitting in the same time that he still loved her. He guessed she had admitted she still loved him too, as she never once said the room wasn't comforting.

''Thank you.'' She said. ''I'm sorry. Thank you.'' Those were just a few words, but they meant many things ; how grateful she had been to live with him. He was so understanding and was so in love with her, he wasn't even enraged when she left. ''Thank you, too. I'm not as socially awkward as I was in high school. You helped me a lot by making me humiliate myself in front of many people.'' Shouta said, smiling. It even made (Y/N) laugh. ''Did you want to see me ?'' He asked. ''Yeah. To tell you that I'm leaving. I've left once without telling you. I can at least see you in person now that I'm okay.'' She replied.

So I'll leave you with a smile.

Kiss you on the cheek.

And you will call it treason.

''You're okay ?'' He asked ; his memories of her being a happy person were very old, as their last moments together had just been her drowning more and more into insanity. But she did look sane, now. All the marks of her quirk were gone. Even her face looked peaceful and rest. After they lost their daughter, after she became depressed, and after her quirk drove her crazy... she was now okay. ''Yes. Are you ?'' She asked, and he nodded. He wasn't lying. He really was okay. ''We have to, anyway. We're not young anymore. We can't afford it.'' Shouta started.

         ''Life's a bitch and then you die, right ?'' He asked, almost laughing at his own sentence. ''Sometimes... sometimes life's a bitch and you keep living.'' (Y/N) replied. It was true. She kept living. He kept living. ''But it's a nice night, hm ?'' She asked, as she had been staring at the sky as well. He remembered how she affected the sky around her. But this time, the night was peaceful. There wasn't any dark cloud, the stars were bright and shiny. They couldn't hear the wind, and couldn't even feel it. She really was okay. She had grown. Shouta smiled. ''Yeah. This is nice.'' He replied -it was comforting.

Mr. Blue, don't hold your head so low,

that you can't see the sky.

Mr. Blue, I told you that I love you.

Please believe me.

        They looked at the sky together, enjoying that it was calm and beautiful. For so many years, (Y/N) had only seen dark clouds, and for so many years, Shouta was all alone to enjoy the calm. The woman sat, as she was getting tired to stand up. Hizashi had walked outside, looking for his friend, when he saw him, on the top of a hill. He recognized the silhouette next to him. Hizashi's mouth was agape, his eyes widened. (Y/N) decided to lay on the floor completely, making Shouta turn to look at her and laugh. He laughed way too much for a simple move. But he had missed it ; she laughed with him as well.

        ''Yamada-sen- Yamada, what's going on ?'' Izuku asked, still being disturbed that he couldn't use the 'sensei' now that he had graduated. ''I can't tell if that's the happiest or the saddest scene I've seen.'' He whispered, still focused on the couple. Izuku didn't understand, but as he recognized the silhouette of his former teacher, he kept watching. Meanwhile, the couple wanted to say things to each other, sometimes their heads turning to look at the other and their mouths opening as if to say something, but they couldn't find anything to say ; they had lived everything, there was nothing left to be said. They just didn't have anything to say to one another anymore.

         (Y/N) looked at Shouta ; he was still standing, looking at the sky. But he had a bright smile on his face. She was thankful that he had been in her life. But they lost so many things together, and she turned a villain, they couldn't get back together anymore. She hoped he understood she loved him ; she had never been the type to say it out loud, and never was he. She hoped he also believed everything she had just said to him, because she had meant everything. And as he was focused on the sky, she decided it was time for her to go, quietly. But this time, she couldn't be a villain. But she couldn't come back anyway. Once the brunette turned to look at her once again, she was gone.

note that the 'room that feels comforting', the 'nice while it lasted', the blue suit, the '... is gone, and now everything is worst’, the final dialogue and the fact that they want to look at each other but have nothing left to say all come from Bojack Horseman and I'm very thankful for that show it gives very good life lessons and helped me actually to deal with some stuff so 🤧❤️❤️❤️

and yeah I’m back with a Shouta story and it’s an angst it feels like it’s the beginning of that blog again right 😗✌🏻

[changminsdoll]

Yeosang 《 Firsts

Gif credits to @wooyuong

Pairing: Chaebol! Yeosang x Maid! Reader

Kang Yeosang was a household name. Literally, you lived in his house for as long as you could remember.

You used to be playmates to this young chaebol until your life's hierarchy became more evident when you grew up.

Typical rich boy.

Typical maid's daughter.

However, he wasn't a snob as some young chaebols would be.

He was quite refined. Very quiet.

Only talked when talked to first.

That was something he became growing up.

The warm, lively kid you once knew was replied by an emotionless adult.

What happened behind those closed doors of his father's study probably turned him into this... robot.

You lost touch with him despite living in the same house so you were not sure if you were in the place to ask.

Anyway, you were fortunate enough to get sent to the same university as him by his father.

You felt like you were being a spy for his dad.

It was uncomfortable.

Not to add how he forced you two to be roommates when that was not normally allowed for different genders to be roomed together in this university

You two may have been just a few meters apart but it felt like you were in different worlds.

You still served as his maid. Breakfast and clothes ready before he went to class and then with you proceeding to your own.

The only words you would always interchange was when you finished a task and he would reply with a very soft 'thank you'.

He was so prim and proper.

And you were just admiring him from afar.

He was a top student and so were you. However, your scholarship made it more difficult for you as you had to keep a certain average to keep your education.

Yeosang would sometimes be surprised when he woke up in the middle of the night to get water to see you slouched over the dining table, reading the same thick book you started to read at seven that evening.

He notices how you have been struggling juggling your duties as a student and..well your duties to him.

That was when you noticed how he barely went back to the dorm. Saying he was sleeping over a friend whom you recalled going by the name Hongjoong.

You would still do your duties by cleaning his room but you would barely see him now.

Until one night, you have never seen him like this, drunk and being carried in by two other guys who introduced themselves as Mingi and Yunho.

"You must be y/n?" The boy named Mingi asked and you gave a small bow.

"Yeosang's friend." Yunho nodded and smiles softly. Surprised how these possibly equally wealthy boys did not remind you of your title.

"He isn't quite a drinker, huh? This was the first time I saw him drink..." Mingi mumbled as the two brought him to his room.

You agreed, this was also a first sight for you.

"He was on call with his father...and suddenly his whole demeanor changed and suddenly, Hongjoong is paying up for four bottles for Yeosang alone." Yunho explained.

You always knew his father was contributing to his stress but what happened now must have flipped a switch.

"Will it be okay for you to take care of him?"

"That's my job." You gave them a kind smile and they gave you a sad one in return.

"Honestly, y/n..." Mingi was about to say something when Yunho shook his head.

"Honestly, what...?" Your eyes would switch from one pair to another.

"It would be nice if she knew." Mingi said as if trying to convince Yunho to let him spill.

"Fine."

"Yeosang had brought you up with us from time to time.. we actually found it quite interesting how he said he wanted to switch dorming with us from time to time so you wouldn't have to work your ass off for his needs. He's a grown man after all."

You blinked, trying to comprehend this new piece of information.

Yunho, noticing your confusion, added along. "Yeosang cares for you as his friend, not his maid. He mentioned you were childhood friends until... you suddenly grew out of it." Yunho rubbed his nape.

After that awkward talk, you were now left alone, kneeling on the floor as you watched over Yeosang.

He seemed sad.

Tired.

It only dawned on him that you had to witness such an unrefined version of himself. Not like he was a drunk talker anyway but he had a reputation to keep after all.

And you felt the same.

He seems to have it all but he seems to not want it either.

You hesitantly placed a hand over his shoulder and gently pat it and you watched him further nuzzle against the warmth of his blankets.

He was always so nice. Caring for your tasks when you were just an employee... well apparently not to him.

He gave you more credit than you ever did to yourself.

You gave him a small smile knowing he wouldn't see it.

You did your best to take care of him.

To the point of preparing hangover soup for him.

So it came to a surprise when you entered his room with a prepped breakfast.

It felt like he had been so unrefined as a drunk person despite just being knocked out when you saw him.

"Sorry"

"For what?"

"For being whatever I was last night."

"For being normal?"

And he gave you that one look.

Like he wanted you to help him but didn't know if you could.

"You don't think I'm normal?" He laughed sadly and that was the first you've heard him laugh in years.

"I do... but do you?" And your eyes widened and quickly shook your hands. "I MEAN-"

He waved it off. "I understand what you mean. It's been a while, y/n." He smiled at you, the smile you could remember from when you were kids.

"Yeosang... " you had let his name slip and he seems more comfortable being called that. "What happened to you?"

He sensed your worry for him.

How would he be able to downplay his situation.

He was the only child of the Kang Family and was raised to be the next heir without being asked if he wanted to be one. He never had a choice.

He did when you became his friend but his father just had to take you away from him as well.

Social classes matter. His father would always say and it made his regretful that he listened.

In his eyes, you were always that one true friend who never saw him as the heir, but just a normal boy.

He hated why you became a maid for him.

He did not want you to be classified any lesser than he was.

"Life." Was what he could reply to you.

"You don't have to tell me, Yeosang." You assured and he sighed softly. "Well, you need to eat first." You gesture at the tray.

"y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you..for still acting like a friend to me."

"Well, that one boy Yunho and the other boy Minho told me that you still considered me as one...so thank you as well.

He was lucky that you did not see the tips of his ears reddening. He knew he might have to smack Yunho and Mingi for saying that... but he also feels grateful they told you.

His eyes could not help but stay on you.

Then he felt it.

One strong heartbeat when you brought the spoon to his lips.

And he knew...that his first friend was going to turn i to his first crush too.