#I'm a plague upon my own earth exclusively

[harbingrs]

no bullshit on this post this is immensely personal & not meant to imply anything broader. no comments/interaction from strangers either thanks

Thinking about breakup songs & the past 15 years and it just. Makes my head spin, truth be told.

Saying it plainly: the majority of my relationships have been with men while being perceived as a woman.

I am always fundamentally Too Much emotionally. Definitely a case of Sad Too Much, Takes Things Too Seriously, Needs Too Much Reassurance, etc. Not delving into the backstory on that.

When I was perceived as a woman and dating a man? I'm being too needy. I'm histrionic and hysterical. High maintenance, even - as opposed to the Chill Cool Girl who existed to make him feel good about himself. Really, I should just learn to shut up!

When I'm perceived as a man dating a woman? I'm requiring too much emotional labour. I'm weak and pathetic. A failure of manhood, even. It's frankly embarrassing for a man to have those kind of anxieties. Really, I should just learn to toughen up!

This is not going to be some in-depth analysis of the dynamics at play here. I'm not even going to state my actual gender (the public one or the private personal one).

The point of this post is just. Damn, it's brutal out here.

[anamelessfool]

Papae Emeriti of Note Throughout Time

I've invented a whole lot of different ones 1. Because I'm doing a Ghouls Throughout Time Anthology and 2. Because it is fun.

The title of Papa Emeritus can be bestowed upon any individual of notable talent and charisma. It is a blessing (and a curse) that transforms them into a magical construct designed to feed the dark energies of the weird Interdimensional Possibly Sentient ExtraPlanar Dimension of the Void. These constructs can have relatively long reigns but recently a new initiative called the Ghost Project has accelerated wear and tear. To what end, it is uncertain.

Each Papa figure summons their own ghouls and assigns them roles. I want to draw them so badly but I'm extremely slow at drawing and not very confident in my skills. Maybe one day.

Bios (And AO3 Links to the Stories) below the cut!

Papa Emeritus Vittorio (1538-1576)

Hometown: Rome, Italy

Reign: (1565-1576)

Skill: Playwright, Singer, Comedian

Died of Plague in 1576

Notable Ghouls: Earth, Aether

Mater Emerita Chiaretta (1893-1965)

Hometown: Verona, Italy

Reign: 1915-1923

Skill: Singing (Jazz)

Notable Ghouls: Cirrus, Ifrit

Papa Emeritus Camino (1908--1984)

1945 Story w Dewdrop & Phantom Ghoul , 1957 Story w Nihil

Hometown: Washington Heights, Queens, NYC

Reign: (1941-1954)

Skill: Singing (Jazz, Big Band), Saxophone, Dance, Talent Scout (biggest supporter of Nihil's early days)

Satanic Archbishop of New York City 1956-1984

Notable Ghouls: Dewdrop, Phantom, Earth, Cumulus (summoned in his second round of ghouls post 1945 Incident)

Mater Emerita Jocasta (b. 1942)

Hometown: Vienna (?) Austria

Reign began 1972

Nihil's Protegee

Skills: Contralto Singer, Songwriting, Metal Singer

Notable Ghouls: Edelweiss Ghoul (my OC Ghoul)

Papa from WIP Works:

Papa Emeritus Albrecht (1493-1530)

Hometown: Dresden

Reign: (1523-1530)

Skills: Singing, Drums, Woodwinds,Gambling, Crushing skulls with a Zweihander, Raising General Hell (FUCK YEAH LANDSKNECHTS all i need is an actual plot though)

Notable Ghouls: Earth Ghoul, Edelweiss Ghoul (OC)

Papa Emeritus Zephaniah Baruch (1668-1738)

Hometown: Plymouth, Massachusetts Bay Colony

Reign: (1695-1710)

Skill: Orator

Ancestor of Sister Imperator, First American Papa, Disgraced Ex-Professor from Harvard, left colonies for the Ministry seat in Italy for his Cardinal Ordination in 1690

Notable Ghouls: None, but only two summoned to be used exclusively as coachmen and bodyguards

Papa Emeritus Henri Leclerc (1749-1830)

Hometown: Brussels

Reign: (1775-1792)

Skill: Violin, Harpsichord, Comedian, Baritone, Courtier

Notable Ghouls: Rain, Cumulus