#I'm a little bit broken

[mariana-oconnor]

Everyone else in the Letters from Watson tag:

😭😭😭

Me:

It's Meme O'Clock, Baybee!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Look what we've become.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[neverpathia]

okay I felt like writing so off I go

average broken and smitten interaction I guess. my AU. nothing much here, not really, except them being toxic and mutually enabling each others' horrible codependent coping mechanisms. platonic smitbroken. not a ship, keep that in mind.

once AGAIN it's a little OOC because I cannot write broken for the life of me. but hey broken mentioned please give it a shot

pristine cut spoilers

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

"Do you ever feel...hollow?" A voice, mellow yet deep.

The Broken sat listlessly on the grass, legs resting sideways against each other. Gently, slowly, he leaned down to trace something on the dirt. He wasn't quite sure what it was going to be, though.

The Smitten knelt and clapped him on the back firmly in jest. Broken blinked, eyes wide in mild surprise like a baffled, scraggly kitten.

"Ow," he mumbled.

Smitten ignored the 'ow'. "But surely not! How could I ever allow my soul to remain barren; when her beauty walks the face of this very earth?"

Broken pondered this. "I guess so."

Smitten leaned forward, closer to Broken. "Why do you ask, friend of mine?"

Friend. The others saw him as a friend now, or at least one of them did. Broken didn't know how to feel about that. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die for daring to let someone else actually look at him as if he were a worthy person.

"I don't know." Broken's finger left a trail amidst the dirt; a shallow, curving depression with no particular direction. He smiled. It seemed a little fitting. "I kind of always do. Feel empty, I mean."

As if he hadn't said something like that to the other Voices a billion times.

The Smitten laughed. How was he always so amiable? Where did he find that energy? "Fear not! For she is never far off from us, and her radiance permeates all."

"You say 'she' like there aren't a lot of Princesses walking around now," said Broken.

"Isn't that even better?" said Smitten. "More of my dearest Princess, more love."

Love. The concept that had once felt so familiar, now completely foreign. But something about it was still familiar somehow. Broken didn't know if he understood it, if he could understand.

"You...haven't seen mine, have you?" Broken glanced up, away from his meaningless scribbles.

"Oh, I may not have seen all of her, but I most certainly love every facet of the Princess with all my heart." Smitten's bold voice resonated far too loud.

Broken said nothing and only looked at his stained fingertip.

"I have loved her at her best, and I shall continue to love her at my worst." The Smitten was clearly having fun. "Undaunted I shall trudge, for she is of endless permutation: but each face of hers is pure perfection! Do you not feel the same, my comrade, my kin? You are among the first to show her respect beyond mere camaraderie; to revere her as I do."

Broken didn't know how comfortable he felt about Smitten's words. They sounded a little too close to...something he himself would say, but more flowery and somehow almost worse.

"I loved...love her too." Broken picked at one of his braids with his clean hand. The ribbons embedded inside, the ornaments holding it in place. "One of her."

Smitten raised an eyebrow at him. "And how shall that do? You ought to love all of her!"

"She is above me. She showed me mercy, and I...love her for it." Did he have a choice? Would he have made a choice? "She...You've seen her, haven't you? The one they call The Tower."

"Ah. She who reigns above, is she not? She who dwarfs us all beneath her looming glory."

Broken didn't know how to respond. He hesitated for far too long before he forced the words out. "...I miss her."

"But of course! It's her, after all."

Broken didn't have the heart to tell Smitten that he didn't think he was really listening.

But he didn't like the weight of it all from before, and he wanted to get it off. He needed to get it off. So he went ahead anyway, even if he didn't like it; even if he was going to hate himself forever for speaking those words and thinking those thoughts.

"I don't know. She hurt me. And in one life, I hurt her too. But in another I forgave her. As if I was in a position to, as if I should have done that, as if I was above- as if I was equal- but...she let me. She showed me grace. She..."

The Broken brought his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, huddling into himself, the dirt on his finger smearing across his thigh.

The Smitten tilted his head, loose ringlets shifting across his shoulders. "And why else should she show you grace, if not for her sheer perfection?"

Broken tried to recall what Paranoid and Hero had said. She hurt you. She didn't know you. She wasn't who you thought she was and she never had been. She was...She was...

"I shouldn't love her." Abruptly, he covered his mouth with his hand and averted his eyes. But he continued speaking into his palm, each syllable slow and deliberated. "But I should. But she hurt me, but I hurt her, and I hurt the others too, I should have been hurt, I should have been used, she should have... I don't like this. I miss her. Maybe I shouldn't miss her. But I really miss her. And I don't want to miss her anymore but maybe I should."

"So you question yourself?" The Smitten was growing more wary now. "So you doubt the greatness of your love?"

Broken shook his head. Long lashes brushed across gaunt, cracked cheeks. "I really don't know. Is it right? Am I right to love her? But I don't want to hate her anymore. But I don't want to love her, not when it hurts so much-"

He was silenced by a strong blow across his face. The Smitten had slapped him, fast and hard. Broken cupped his cheek, astonished, reeling against the ringing pain.

"Have you lost your mind?" The Smitten was enraged. "Have you no heart at all? I believed you had always understood. Always, always, you have known! A being of devotion just as I am!"

"Oh..." Unsteadily, Broken looked up at Smitten. "I see."

"You miss her, or so you claim. You yearn for her, do you not? These are the feelings of the heart! Never have they led one astray, ever! You find yourself cherishing her presence. You find that her wrongs cease to be, because they have never mattered! For Princess and Voice were meant to be one. You used to feel like you were hers, and you still are. You love her. We love her. You love her as I do, you love her."

The Smitten stepped backwards after his monologue, heaving slightly, as if it had taken something out of him.

"Believe me." Broken dropped his gaze again. "I wish I did."

Smitten spared him a disdainful glance. "Then you do. Wherein do you unearth such frivolous problems?"

"Smitten, why do you love so much?"

"I was under the impression that you were much the same manner as I. To love is the one true right."

"Is it really the only right thing, or are you just telling yourself that it is?"

"And how could it not be echoed within the halls of my being, were it not such an absolute?"

There was another moment of silence.

"I don't know." Broken rose from the ground and began to stand. "I think you're blind."

"Blind? Blind? Fie! I daresay, the only blind one here is you!"

"I want to believe in love. I do."

"Then so you shall. Nothing stands in our way."

"There's something you're refusing to see, Smitten." Broken met his eyes. "We're separate beings now. Bodies and all. You think of me as a traitor. To love, and to you. You think I'm supposed to be like you, and you're still trying to see yourself in me."

Broken took a long breath before he said, "But I'm not one with you, and we're not the same. Not anymore, not ever. Please...let yourself be."

Smitten didn't reply for once, rendered speechless somehow, though Broken couldn't tell if it was due to anger or shock.

Broken sighed. "Maybe what I thought was love wasn't even real. If I let go of it, could you let go too?"

Smitten clamped his hands around Broken's shoulders, his grip harsh and unyielding.

"Nonsense." A low, raging undercurrent belay Smitten's tone, still orotund and loud as ever. "It was real, and it is real, and nothing can ring ever truer. Harken to your heart, its beatings, it's sensations! Harken to your soul and the very person that you are! Is it not clear, then?"

But then Smitten relaxed his grip on Broken. "I just want the best for you, my friend. I wish for you to be at peace. Why? Why must you choose otherwise?"

And at this brief, unprecedented show of kindness, the Broken was unresponsive at first.

Then it hit. He couldn't help it. He didn't want it. He began to cry.

Small, nearly imperceptible trembles and snivels. Tears gathering at the corners of large blank eyes. Why was he suddenly being nice to him? Why now, after what he had dared to say? After he had made himself a traitor in Smitten's eyes?

"It's not a choice, Smitten," said Broken. "It's what I've always been. Maybe...this is it. I still feel so numb. So tired, from forever. Maybe you're right. Because when I used to love her, it didn't feel so empty anymore. I had something to believe in. I had hope."

So what if the hope was false? It was better than this. It was better than this dark and barren and sad and pathetic thing that was his soul, his body, his entire being. It was at least the illusion of a safe refuge. A sort of escape from what he was and what he had become.

The delusion felt good. Perhaps it was all that mattered.

The Broken spoke between sobs. "How could those moments have been my worst when...they made me feel the best?" He felt the descent of tears down his face; the taste of wet salt on his tongue. It was disgusting. Weak. Pitiful. Like him.

Smitten reached over and patted Broken on the back, and he caved, melting into his friend in a sort of embrace. Too readily, too vulnerably.

"Are we just playing pretend?" Broken whispered, pressed against the frills of Smitten's vest.

"No." The Smitten spoke softer this time, keeping his voice lower. "It cannot be pretend."

Broken let him talk. He'd had enough of the argument.

"When all the fibers of your being are peeled back," Smitten murmured, "love is the only thing left. No, it cannot be pretend, for we cannot help but find them beautiful and what we feel is so profound, so pure. It cannot be pretend because it's who we are and what we were meant to do. Make her happy. You seek it. You desire it."

"I do want to," said Broken.

Smitten smiled. "And she's out there."

"I...do want to, right?"

"You do want to. Your hesitation is a lie, to none else but yourself."

The Broken felt wary and he felt truly seen. He felt uncertain and he felt resolved. He felt terrified and he felt at ease. He wanted to turn away, to return, to relapse. He wanted to love, to obsess, to languish in the comforting cage of those thoughts forever. He wanted to flee, and forget about everything, and never even think about Her again.

Despite everything, after all, the Smitten was still his friend.

Smitten pulled away and tousled Broken's hair. "You poor, poor, misguided soul. Once you saw the light and now you shun it."

Broken wiped his tears with his sleeve. "And it was brighter, wasn't it? And it felt safer...I think..."

"Sit awhile with me, my friend. Mayhaps comfort may be found in the silence yet; a calm to precede a change."

And so they sat on the grass. And so it was still.

And so it was all horribly wrong.

[finniestoncrane]

I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I need but I’m glad I’ve got therapy tomorrow

[ilianitta]

sounds like bullshit tbh

break up? after all that? after buck had realized he is in love? and tommy does not want his heart broken so it's all ends like this????? weird. weird. super weird.

[markantonys]

ADAR

[eachuisge-cc]

I'm not dead btw more cc will happen there's just so much going on

[winepresswrath]

Every character on this show struggles with feeling unlovable because they're somehow broken or dirty or just put together wrong but for my money the real winners in this terrible competition are Claudia and Armand. There are, I think, a lot of echos between them especially in showverse- parental abandonment, abuse, being rescued and remade by vampires. Armand was one year older than Claudia when a vampire found him in a terrible situation and brought him home. So naturally just as Claudia finds someone she thinks could really love and know all of her Armand is going to kill her in the desperate hope of keeping someone who might love and know all of him.

[heliosandtheminecraftians]

[Continued From Part One of This Event, Here!]

[ Past Wounds Arc - The Battle Begins ]

As Irona's cry for the knights reached their ears and she attempted to get Skadi to safety, the residents of the kingdom began to flee in terror, heading for their homes or towards the castle and the outer buildings of the village walls.

Celina and Brine could see Mason looking around for his sister and could hear Wanda, Stella, and Jewel coming from the tavern as the mobs began to near them, their friends, and the knights now standing ready.

"Jewel, wait!" Dorthy's cry fell on deaf ears as their companion and others began to run to face the mobs.

The sounds of the blades of the mobs colliding with those of the kingdom's protectors filled the air, the sounds of mobs flying through with arrows on the wind. The royals and their friends began to slash at and lash out any monster that came their way, and it wasn't long before mobs began to fall to the gravel streets. Some of the knights were struggling against the power of the mobs with their crimson eyes, and as Brine saw a few of them in this situation, he took off in a sprint--

Only for a large hand to grab one of his antlers.

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[tapakah0]

I'm always looking at your art and thinking "woah, I wish I was that good" and "I wish I was friends with tapa" and at this point it's just embarrassing :×

Don't worry, being friends with me IS embarrassing

[undead-potatoes]

Looking at the two of them you might assume Ronnie is the more experienced in their relationship with Harding, especially since Ronnie is a shameless flirt with very confident energy, while Harding has the vibes of a flustered school girl in love.

But Ronnie has never actually been in a relationship before. They've had some flings, trying to figure their shit out, but it never really went anywhere. Sex doesn't do much for them either, at least not in the most casual sense, so they've gone most of their life without. There's definitively some kind of aroace stuff going on with them, falling into the realm of sex-neutral demi-something, though they don't really have the words to describe it.

They've had their fair share of frustrations surrounding the whole thing, wondering what's "wrong" with them, if they're this way because their parents didn't love them enough, that whole song and dance. By the time of Veilguard they've mostly come to terms with their feelings, but there is a sense of relief when they start to feel a pull towards Harding in a way they've never felt with anyone else before.

And then there's Harding over here, doing god knows what in Ferelden barns. I have no idea how much experience she has in either field, but it's sure to be more than Ronnie for the most part.

[royalarchivist]

Head in my hands

At this point when errors, happen I don't even know if it's me or Tumblr's fault anymore, because like– Ok, to give you guys a peek into the clip posting process I've had to do for the past month or so:

I upload a clip, write the transcript, then write the tags.

If the clip is stuck in upload hell for more than 5 minutes, I refresh my drafts page and wait for it to show up in there.

I edit the draft, re-type the transcript that's missing (because the auto-save usually deletes half of it) and re-write the tags that are missing

Sometimes I'm able to copy over the transcript from the "still uploading" post if I don't close the tab, but occasionally, it copies transcripts of previous posts I've created (or parts of them) and I have to triple-check that nothing copied over.

I hit “post” then pray and hope the draft posts instead of getting sent back to upload hell 2.0

[deadhearthotline]

i should draw Hotline more.....

[cactusringed]

Girl I'm so embarrassed on Scott's behalf oh my GODDDDD girl shut UPPPPP JIMMY DOESNT LOVE YOU BACK HE'S SO OVER YOU HE REALISED WHAT YOU HAD WAS TOXIC STOP CLINGING TO HIM FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO CONTROL SCREAMS SCREAMS SCREAMS.

[halamshirals]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point