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tricksterconfessional-blog · 7 years ago

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I hate my body

155 pounds and all I can think about is shedding calories I intake. I look at my fitbit after every exercise, after every day and look at the calories I’ve burned with pride. Like that’ll some how help me. Like these numbers give me comfort in that I’m not gaining weight...but then I look in the mirror and I continue this self hatred of my body. Little voices whisper that the exercise isn’t helping...that I’m getting bigger. Little voices then urge that I should eat less. Starve myself...because that’s when I feel happy. I feel happy when I only eat one meal a day with less than 1200 calories. But then stress and depression and anxiety beg me to eat for comfort. Then I struggle and repeat. Count calories. Cut my intake. Exercise more. Lose it. Lose it all.

#I'mnotsurewhatI'mfeeling #I'mnotsurehowtostopthis #I'llprobablydeletethislater #Ineededtovent #Ihatemyself #Ihatemybody #i'm not attractive #this is all very hard #I know no one will help me #i don't know what to do #I feel like I'll never be pretty #I feel like I'll never be loved #tricksterconfessional

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