#I'll try finishing everything within the next two days lololol

[camille-marshall-blog]

Birthday Ficlet Part #1

Alternately Titled: I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot

a/n: hello hello hello people, this is the first ficlet of the events that had occurred during Marshall’s Birthday. This fic honestly just tackles character building stuff and Marshall handling the departures of @phaniecastello and @maya-edwards. This is the first of a Trilogy of Birthday fics and part 2 is being right now which actually covers the surprise party and the greatness of the other events of that Christmas Eve... And if anyone’s wondering, YEAP! That’s actually a legit photo of a tiny Marshall (or rather her FC: Taylor Hill) with a birthday cake for the birthday vibes LOL, every fic will have a picture of an older Marshall with a birthday cake for cool continuity.  Soooo I guess I’ll stop talking now and leave this little fic here for your casual reading. As usual, fair warning for language (because Marshall swears like a sailor in most of her internal monologues). Enjoy!   (1612 words)

I couldn’t fucking believe it. Maya and Phanie had just fucking left yesterday morning- two of my friends in this palace, sent home a few days before Christmas. I had pictured Christmas morning to be with them- along with Vee in the matching pajamas I had bought for all of us, but now, we had exchanged contact numbers. I was left with a bitter taste on my tongue when “good bye” fell from my lips and a clutched fist as I spent the rest of the day in my room, not daring to shed a tear. 

I know this shouldn’t be a lonely time, the entire Christmas season- I mean. But it’s hard to not feel like crap when you see two friends leave your life so suddenly, no warning, nothing. One minute we were playing chess or running together, exchanging Christmas gifts, talking about the upcoming ball- the next I was hugging them while they were packing up to leave.

Even today, I can’t shake off how I felt- and I was SUPPOSED to be happy. Today was my 20th birthday AND Christmas Eve. Everyone was busy with preparing for the Christmas Ball tomorrow and Lady Collette was giving us one last dance lesson. The entire palace was just waiting in anticipation for the ball. Needless to say, I should have been jumping for joy from the moment my maids had woken me up with breakfast in bed.

Getting down to Lady Collette’s dance lesson, I couldn’t help but feel my heartstrings get pulled at remembering how much better Phanie was at these routines or Maya’s hilarious side comments. As much as I actually enjoyed the dance lessons for the past few days, I couldn’t enjoy this last lesson, wanting to get out of that hall the moment we were dismissed by Lady Collette.

My feet take me down the hallway and I know where to turn to take a set of stairs that take me to the lower levels of the palace. I needed to blow off some steam, my mood was not the best since yesterday and I quickly find myself going down the steps to find myself standing in front of the guard’s entrance. I’ve found the underground areas dedicated to the guards as the perfect place to escape the life of being a Selected. What I particularly loved was that the entire place was built like an underground base- training centers, bunkers, barracks, rec rooms, mess hall- it was a mini military base and its familiarity felt like home.

I’m greeted by the sight of two figures standing in the front of the main entrance and I recognize the two as Officers Gutierrez and Kramer.

“Stopping by again, Lady Camille?” Gutierrez says as he blocks my way.

“Gutierrez…” I give him a commanding yet exasperated tone,”I just want to use the shooting range today.”

Kramer belts out a laugh, “Gutz is just messing with you, Marshall. Come on in, I’ll guard you while you’re there”

“Thanks a lot Kramer” I nod before walking through the entrance walking with Kramer and navigating our way through barracks and small intelligence centers- what went behind those doors were beyond me.

What was fascinating about this palace was how elaborate its design was. It’s exterior- the parts seen by the public and all that- was built to dazzle its guess with its luxurious swirls and touches of gold, but holy crap, this place was built to be like a fortress with all these underground levels and resources. Exploring this palace was one of the few reasons why I was out of my room a lot. In my explorations and with guidance from the surprisingly patronizing guards (it may or may not have helped that I was in the same batch of basic training with them at Whites though), I’ve basically become a regular at their main headquarters down here.

Lucky for me, this mini base had a small firing range that was wonderful for practice shooting or in my case- recreational shooting to blow off steam.

Escorting me into the range, Kramer nods at the Master of Arms, Officer Theodore, signaling him to open a cabinet full of an arsenal of guns for my own selection.

“Honestly, I don’t get why you guys keep so many guns here- no one ever uses it.” I comment as I choose a small hand gun from the case. Today felt like a pistol kind of day.

“We actually do, mostly for the newbies though.” Kramer explains, putting his arms at a parade rest. “Who knows? This range might be useful to our future Queen.” he adds with a smirk.

“Last time I checked, I was just a Selected, Kramer.” I retort checking the gun’s amo. I was just another girl who could be sent home… like my friends. I didn’t want to dream too far.

Kramer shakes his head, “You’ve lasted this long, maybe you might be switching your wings for crowns soon.”

“Not from what I’ve heard from the maids.” I say as I tie my hair behind my back.

“Oh yeah, Delancey and Kelly told me about hearing from other people about the prince’s activities with some of the… other ladies.” Officer Theodore comments handing me a small cartridge.

I know what Theodore meant, the rumors of Nate having done god knows what and I didn’t want to let that get too into my head- I wasn’t going to add that to the list of things that bothered me. No way was I going to hold it against the prince either.

“I’ve heard someone’s been locking lips with him recently,” Kramer adds to Theodore’s comment.

“Kramer, honestly that’s above my pay grade,” I say as I put on my safety goggles and ear covers, “Now could I shoot some targets in peace?”

He raises his arms defensively with a laugh, “Okay princess, no need to get so hot and bothered about your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I give one last look at a grinning Kramer and Theodore putting on ear covers before sending my target to the back of the room and preparing myself to shoot.

I aim my gun and shoot, trying to focus all this pent up anger about Phanie and Maya at every sound. Why did they get eliminated? From what they had told me about their dates, the two of them were doing just fine with Natalie- err… Nate. And before Christmas too! Couldn’t they have just stayed a little longer for the ball?

Just, GOD. I had never felt more helpless than I did when they both told me that they were just eliminated- these were MY friends. How could I have gotten attached to those two so fast? Fuck, it felt like a mistake to attempt to make friends in the first place. No it wasn’t a mistake. The friends were worth it, they still are- but jesus, this hurt like a bitch. Attachment to people hurt like a bitch. I would know, moving around too many times had taught me that.

As every bullet left its case, I could feel the weight on my chest feel lighter. I felt some resolve come over me, letting me focus all that negative emotion leave my system. None of this was my fault. None of this was anyone’s fault. This was the way things were. 34 girls would leave in the end, only 1 would stay. I couldn’t blame anyone- especially Nate. Nate was not the one to receive the blame, this was his competition, and he was way too decent to eliminate people without having a valid reason.

When I run out of ammunition, I choose not to use the second set of bullets given to me by Theodore. I’ve accepted the inevitable, not everyone was going to stay for long- I might not stay for long- and that was okay, and being friends with them… even for the shortest of times was still good. Lord have mercy on my soul, this was probably going to wreck me.

Come what may, I’m trying to learn this as I’m going through these motions. I was not wasting this opportunity.

I take off my protective gear and step on the mechanism to bring my paper target closer for inspection, I’m mildly impressed at my attempt. Few shots to the head, a few more on the shoulders and stomach- good enough.

Kramer and Theodore clap slowly before I hand over the gun and gear; I thank them for their time before Kramer escorts me back up to the upper levels of the palace, making quick conversation about the upcoming ball and the heightened security for it.

When we’re back to the main entrance and see Officer Gutierrez standing there at the same post, I wave them both a good bye before making my own way back to my room.

I had a book and a pair of Christmas-themed pajamas waiting for me at my room. The rest of today was going to be good.