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Last email newsletter of the year is out tomorrow!
#sonnet zine links are there#I'll share on tumblr eventually when i'm not sleepy#but yeah join my semi quarterly newsletter
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Writeblr Re-Intro
Yo! I'm V Saintsin. Or V or Vin or Saintsin or whatever you want to call me that sounds right on your tongue. I'm a self-proclaimed Social Media fumbler who got a late start to the party and has never quite figured it out. I hate how hipster and edgy it sounds to say "I'm bad at social media" but like I used to work with some people who actually managed the social media accounts for the business we worked for and there were rules and whatnot and damn, I think online media is just not my medium. That being said, here I am! Hah
I'm an author and general mess who's hoping to be the miracle man (somebody who makes a living writing silly little stories). I do use a pseudonym but please hear me out when I say I didn't realize how edgy it sounds, it just has some sentimental value to my personal life. I'm so sorry that I sound like I'm in my emo phase HAHA
About me -
He/Him Transguy from the American Midwest (arguably the south, depending on who you talk to, but the older people still say "Sodi-pop" and "ope").
I'm dysautonomic, bendy, permanently sleepy, and a survivor of Crappy Doctors Who Suck At Doctoring.
I like DnD, Pathfinder, Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk, Dragon Age, and other things in that vein.
I do make art of my stories and characters (Tablet is currently not working so I'm in a dry spell).
My writing background is predominantly ancient, dusty RPs from as far back as the foopets days and fanfic writing on Quizilla - I am an old and wizened elder of the net.
My formal education was music performance and behavioral neuroscience, I don't really know how I got where I am.
This is not my first rodeo with tumblr but it is the first time I have anything to SAY instead of just lurking.
In the event of malfunction, you can put me outside for 5 minutes and I'll probably factory reset.
My existence as I know it hinges on a massive number of sticky notes plastered throughout my room.
What I'm lookin' for -
Idk, whatever? I'm down for most things. Did you write it? Cool, let me see. I'm not too bent on genre or anything, just fascinated by the art of storytelling.
A bit tentative with fanfiction but that's just because if it's not a fandom I'm familiar with I am rather clueless about what the hell is going on and if it's a fandom I am familiar with I HUNT DOWN THE DEEP LORE.
I like art a whole lot, including fanart. Also art advice, love seeing things from different perspectives and learning something new.
Mutuals, really, for any reason. Building better connections on here, getting to know people. I am hideously bad at this but I try.
What I write -
Science Fiction with heavy subjects that matter to me - trigger warnings on a story-by-story basis.
High Fantasy (eventually books I think?) characters and their backgrounds for DnD and Pathfinder - I have been tempted to share these to help people get ideas or just for free use?
Things that I delete because I have crippling imposter syndrome and publishing makes me nauseous (doin' it tho).
Stories that I hope will make people feel less alone or that people could relate to, stories that I wish I had when life was worse and I was reaching out for anything I could find to keep me afloat, stories that try to be critical of things that SUCK in a way that's any helpful.
Lots of curse words and cussing (that's just how people talk 'round here), dubious science, things that I hope might make you cry but in a good way though.
Character-Driven stories that revolve more around the development of the person and less around the plot itself if that makes sense.
I've put blurb things below for my primary project/series which features a grumpy, queer, 37-year old chain smoking Frenchman and his misadventures with life and love and unbridled rage. If any of that sounds cool stick around and hang out? (This part is a plug bc I did a thing and I'm proud of it) And if my books sounds interesting the first one is 99 cents on Kindle and you just need a phone and a free app to read it!
THE SECRET OF LIFE (Published) - Sci-Fi/Psychological Thriller, Bi M Lead, Lovers to Enemies, AI but the oldschool cool kind not the real world thing that's stealing our future
Carlisle-Trystan Antoinette is a mercenary on a hard road, navigating life and death itself in an infinite cycle started by powers above his understanding. He has one mission - warn The Dianican Space Station of the coming threat and put a stop to a war that would encapsulate the whole of the Sol System before it can ever begin. Unfortunately for Carlisle, reality is a tenuous thing, made up only by our understanding of it. At least, according to his Psychiatrist, who tells him that there is no war, that he was never a mercenary, and that what Carlisle is experiencing is a severe but manageable psychotic break. Stripped of his combat enhancements, his bio monitor, and everything he's every known, Carlisle has a decision to make. Does he give in to the thoughts and memories, so real that he can almost taste them, or does he live a life of comfort and ease, returning to a husband and daughter that he left behind?
TWs: Domestic and War Violence, suicide, rape, medical trauma, grief, drug use
THE SILENCE OF ANGELS (Due 2024, TSoL 2) - Betrayal and Rage, Learning how to love again slow-burn romantic subplot, Learning how to Dad, A general inability for any one thing to just go right
(Quick Rough Blurb that offers no spoilers for TSoL) Making connections isn't easy for somebody who's accustomed to burning bridges. Isolation has always been Carlisle's mantra for surviving his life. Playing a role comes second nature, pretending to be the man that everyone else wants to see in him. When an old friend is murdered Carlisle finds himself as the primary suspect with all evidence pointing to him so clearly that even he calls to question what he is capable of. Unwilling to believe that he could commit such a heinous crime, Carlisle sets off to find the truth of his friend's death - was Carlisle framed or does he truly have the capacity to bring such harm upon those he loves? Old and new bonds will be tested, faith broken, and the future of everyone called into question as lines are drawn and sides are picked.
TWs: Violence, mentions of SA, graphic character death, more grief, more death
I don't know what else to say... Later!
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Wherever You Point To I’ll Find ~ Steve Harrington x Chrissy Cunningham
Nobody expected a budding romance between Steve and Chrissy when they were invited on this graduation road trip. But, as the two spend more and more time together away from the pressures their families, they just might find that they’re the perfect match.
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Tags: modern au, road trip, mutual pining, fluff, angst, discussion of mental health and body issues, eventual smut, adult themes and swearing throughout
Word Count: 16.1k
A/N: tumblr gave me hell trying to get this posted, so hopefully it goes up this time
Anyway, this chapter brings the story to just under 50k, and I still have 6 more chapters to go. It's wild to me that I've already written that much about these two, and that number is going to more than double before I'm done. Thanks for following along with this story so far!
After giving Steve an ample amount of time to look around the shack, the group was back on the road. They stopped for pizza on the way and ended up making it to Myrtle Beach before it was too late. The only snag in their plan was the fact that most hotels in the area seemed to be fully booked for the night.
“Check this motel up here,” Nancy said as Steve started to turn into the next parking lot. “I’m sure they’ll have vacancies if nothing else. I can’t believe I forgot to book a hotel sooner."
As soon as Steve put the car in park, Nancy hopped out to go check and see if they had any vacancies. There was no reason for them all to get out of the car if they weren't going to be staying there. They waited as Nancy talked to the clerk for a few minutes, and soon she was jogging back to their car.
"So, the good news is that we have a place to sleep tonight."
"And the bad news?" Eddie asked.
"They only had one room left, so we're all going to have to share. But there are two beds, so Chrissy and I can share one, and you and Steve can share the other. It's either that or we all sleep in this car."
"I think the four of us can manage to share a room with no issues," Steve said. "It's better than sleeping in the car."
"Or camping again," Chrissy added.
"Definitely better than camping."
"Then it's settled. I'll go grab the room key, and then we can get ourselves situated."
The beds in the room were a little bit smaller than they would have liked considering they were sharing, but they could make do. They all took turns using the bathroom to get ready for bed, and Chrissy tried not to freak out about having to share a room with Steve. She didn't know why she was so on edge about it. It wasn't like she had to share a bed with him or anything like that.
But then he came out of the bathroom without a shirt on, and she had to force herself not to stare. Honestly, it should have been illegal for him to walk around like that. He wasn't allowed to have this kind of effect on her. It wasn't fair.
She tried to busy herself with fluffing up her pillows, but it didn’t help that she and Steve had both chosen the sides of the bed that were next to the end table shared between the two. If she really wanted to, she could have reached out and touched him.
Despite the fact that she'd slept on the ground the night before, she had slept surprisingly well, and she was attributing that to sleeping next to Steve. She felt so safe with him, and now her mind was wandering towards how nice it might have been to share one of these beds with him. She could snuggle up next to him, and maybe he'd wrap his arms around her and hold her close. She'd fall asleep feeling protected, and she'd wake up to another one of his sleepy smiles. Maybe even a good morning kiss.
No. She wasn't allowed to have those thoughts. There was nothing between them no matter how much she might have liked that. She still didn't know why he'd been so upset with her when she showed up at his tent, and there was no way he was interested in her if he was that cold towards her. He'd only let her stay with him because she was scared, and he was too nice to turn her away even though her very presence annoyed him. That was the only logical reason why he put up with her. Why anyone put up with her really.
She pushed those thoughts away and rolled over so her back was to Steve. Maybe if he wasn't in her line of sight, she could fall asleep without thinking about how nice it would be to be his.
***
When she woke up the next morning, Chrissy felt awful. Not because she'd slept poorly. She'd surprisingly gotten a decent amount of sleep despite feeling like she was freezing from the way that the room's air conditioning was blasting and being afraid that she was going to invade Nancy's side of the bed.
No, she woke up feeling horrible because it finally dawned on her that she was going to be expected to wear a swimsuit and show off her body in public. She hadn’t been sticking to the carefully formulated diet her mother dictated for her, and everyone was going to notice how horrible she was certain she looked now because of that.
As everyone took turns using the bathroom to get ready for the day, Chrissy sat on her bed completely zoned out. There was no way she could go through with a beach day. She’d feel awful and exposed the entire time, and she knew she wouldn’t enjoy herself. However, she also knew that this wasn’t her trip. She was just along for the ride, and she felt like she had no right to dictate what they did when everyone else was really looking forward to their beach days. She thought that maybe she could say she wasn’t feeling well and opt to stay back at the hotel for the day, but she knew that would never work. She knew her best friend, and she knew that if she said that she was staying back at the hotel for the day, he’d give up his day to keep her company. Or, even worse, he’d convince everybody else to stay with her, too, and she’d effectively ruin this trip for everyone. She’d just have to suck it up and go to the beach with everyone else. Maybe she wouldn’t even look as bad as she thought she would, and then all of this worrying would be for nothing.
When it was finally her turn to use the bathroom, she gathered her belongings and locked herself inside to change. When she got a look at herself in the mirror, that ever present gnawing feeling in her chest only grew stronger. Normally, she loved her high-waisted bikini because she felt like it covered her problem areas nicely, but today was different. She thought she looked so bloated, and she knew it was because she’d eaten nothing but junk food the day before. She’d been trying to eat mostly healthy options on the trip so far, but the day before had been filled with fast food. Fat and salt and grease and all the things she was supposed to be avoiding if she wanted to be the perfect girl that she was expected to be. She’d ruined everything with her lack of self-control, and she could hear her mother’s voice repeating I told you so over and over and over in her ear.
It was then that she decided that she wasn’t taking her coverup off for the entire day. She’d sit there in her oversized t-shirt and shorts and watch everyone else enjoy the water. She couldn’t let anyone look at her, or she’d feel even worse about herself and the choices she’d made that led her to this point.
While Chrissy was struggling to get her t-shirt to drape just right to hide her body, Nancy was starting to get impatient back in the room.
“I’m going to head down to the car,” she said as she grabbed her beach bag. “We need to leave soon if we want to have any hope of finding a decent parking space. Just head out to meet me when she’s done, okay?”
Steve knew that Nancy wasn’t going to be okay with waiting very long. She was a stickler when it came to the schedule she’d made for their trip, and she wasn’t going to be happy if they had to park too far away and then walk the extra distance back when they were exhausted after a long beach day. He didn't want to make Chrissy feel rushed, but he knew that Nancy was going to start complaining about their schedule being thrown off if they didn't leave for the beach soon. So he tried to make his urging seem lighthearted.
“C'mon, Chrissy,” he said, throwing on his Kermit the frog impression. “We've gotta get moving right along.”
Chrissy was immediately pulled away from her self-loathing thoughts as she whipped out of the bathroom.
“I can't believe you told him,” she said, glaring at Eddie. “You promised you wouldn't say anything.”
“Tell me what?” Steve asked.
“I didn't say anything,” Eddie replied.
“Oh yeah? Then why did he do that?”
“Tell me what?” Steve asked again.
“I didn't say anything,” Eddie repeated, ignoring Steve again. “He's just like that.”
“Oh.” Chrissy got very quiet and stared at the floor.
“Can someone please fill me in on what's happening?” Steve asked.
“Do you want to tell him, or should I?” Eddie asked.
“It's silly and embarrassing,” she said, avoiding making eye contact with Steve. “I'm just a really big fan of the Muppets.”
“Why is that embarrassing?”
“I don't know. It just feels childish for them to be my favorites, I guess.”
“Well, I don't think it's childish. The Muppets are cool,” he tried to reassure her.
“You're making fun of me.” The pit in her stomach grew, and she couldn't help but feel so small. This was why she didn't tell people about this part of her personality. As soon as anyone found out she loved the Muppets, she instantly became a joke in their eyes.
“I promise I'm not making fun of you,” he told her. “There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about.”
“Really?”
She finally looked up from the ground, and Steve was smiling at her. Not a mocking smirk like she'd feared, but a kind one. A smile that said whatever opinions he had of her hadn't been changed by what she'd just told him.
“Really. I mean who doesn't like the Muppets?”
A wave of relief washed over her, but it was short-lived because Eddie was incapable of letting her hold on to a single shred of her dignity.
“She sleeps snuggled up with a Fozzie Bear plushie,” he said before racing out the door to meet Nancy down at the car.
“Do you think Nancy would be upset if I drowned her boyfriend?”
“You're really that embarrassed by still having a stuffed animal? Even though I've given you two of them in the past week?”
“Fozzie is different. A gift from a cute boy is very different from a stuffie that I've had since I was a little kid. Nobody will take me seriously if they know I still take comfort from a stuffed animal.”
What she wanted to say was that no one would find her attractive if they knew about Fozzie, but saying that would mean admitting out loud that she wanted Steve to be attracted to her, and she couldn't bring herself to do that just yet. Especially on a day like today where she knew she was the opposite of desirable.
He chose to ignore the fact that she'd called him cute. As much as he would have loved to tease her for that, he could tell that wasn't what she needed right now. He didn't want to risk her going quiet on him again, and he was pretty sure that's where she was headed if he didn't do something.
“Can I let you in on a secret?” he asked as he closed the gap between them.
She nodded and looked up at him.
“I still have the stuffie that I slept with as a baby.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I mean, I don't sleep with it anymore or anything like that, but I've kept it safe and hidden through multiple cleanings by random people my mom hired to clear the useless clutter out of the house. Sentimental reasons and all of that. So, I get it. I'm not going to make you feel bad for having an attachment to a childhood toy. I think it's normal, and if it makes you happy, there's nothing wrong with that.”
“Thank you.”
“You're welcome. I need you to keep that information to yourself though. Not even Robin knows about it, and I'd like to keep it that way.”
“I think I could be persuaded to keep that secret for you. Unlike Eddie, I don't spill secrets for fun.”
“Go easy on him, okay? He might have been the one to bring up Fozzie, but it was kind of your fault he had the opportunity in the first place when you really think about it.”
“I guess so. He's lucky I love him, or I really would drown him.” She beamed up at Steve. “So, what kind of animal is it?”
“That's classified information.”
“Come on. You know about Fozzie. It's only fair.”
“Sorry, Chrissy. I've given you all the info about it that you're gonna get. Now grab your bag and head out to the car before Nancy comes back in here and drags us out.”
“So bossy,” she teased.
Steve reached out to pinch at her hip, but she dodged him as she grabbed her beach bag off the bed. She stuck her tongue out at him before racing out the door and heading towards the car with him following close behind her.
The ride to the beach passed without incident, and they still managed to get a decent parking space, so Nancy was pleased. Everything was perfectly fine until they'd set up their spot on the beach.
Chrissy may have solved the issue of not wanting to expose her body that day, but she'd conveniently forgotten that that didn't mean everyone else would be staying covered up as well. That fact was made all too apparent when a shirtless Steve approached her with a bottle of sunscreen.
“Would you mind helping me get my back?” he asked as he handed her the bottle.
“Yeah. Sure. No problem.”
He turned around so that his back was to her, and she had to stop herself from falling over. She'd seen him without a shirt on before. Just a few brief times during the trip and only before she looked away out of embarrassment. Those few brief moments hadn't prepared her for this.
She knew he was fit, and that was even more obvious as her hands ran up and down the length of his back to work the sunscreen into his skin. Actually feeling his muscles under her fingertips was almost too much for her.
But the thing that truly made her blush was how fixated she was on the freckles and moles that dotted his skin. This man was a mosaic, and she wanted to sit and count them all.
She couldn't do that though. If she took too long doing this, it would be weird, and he'd be uncomfortable around her, which was the last thing she wanted. So, she rubbed the last bit into his lower back before dropping her hands away completely.
“Okay. You're all set.”
He turned back around to face her and took the bottle that she'd offered back to him. She hoped he didn't notice the blush that she was certain was now gracing her cheeks, and if he did notice, she hoped he'd think that maybe she was only a little sun-kissed already.
“I can get your back for you, if you want,” he offered.
“Oh, you don't need to do that. I'm not going out in the sun anytime soon. I was just planning on staying here under the umbrella for a little while.”
“You're not going to get in the water?”
“I'm not really a beach person,” she said with a small shrug. That was a lie, of course, but it was necessary. She needed a reason to explain why she wasn't taking off her clothes, and that was as good as anything else.
“Why didn't you say something sooner?”
“I didn't feel like it was my place to object to a multi-day, already planned portion of the trip. But seriously, don't worry about me. I'm happy to just hang out in the shade.”
“Do you want me to sit out with you? Keep you company?”
“You don't have to do that. Go have fun with Eddie and Nancy. Maybe I'll come hangout with you guys in a little bit, okay?”
“If you're sure. I don't want you to be bored over here by yourself.”
“I'll be fine. I promise. Don't worry about me.”
He left her to make herself comfortable in the shade of their beach umbrella, but he would have been lying to himself if he said he wasn't a little worried about her. He thought she'd seemed excited about the beach when they'd talked about this portion of the trip in the days leading up to it, and now she was isolating herself from the rest of them.
He didn't want to dwell on it too much, but he kept finding himself glancing back towards where she was sitting. She looked fine though, so he told himself that she was just having an off day.
But then she didn't eat lunch. When everyone else was ready for food, she told them that she wasn't hungry just yet, but they didn't need to wait for her. He'd offered her some of his fries anyway, and she'd looked at them as if he'd just offered her a mouthful of sand. He didn't press the issue, but it worried him more than her sitting out all morning did.
He didn't know why he cared so much when he was still feeling somewhat hurt about the way she'd reacted when she found him reading. He shouldn't have cared if this girl who judged him was choosing to avoid having fun with her friends or skipping meals, but he did. And the more she kept to herself and gave flimsy excuses, the more he felt the urge to make sure she was okay.
When everyone else was ready for dinner, she claimed that she'd eaten a late lunch, so she wasn't hungry, and Steve's concern for her only grew. He'd tried to be subtle about it, but he'd spent the better part of the afternoon keeping an eye on her after she'd declined joining them for a swim. Other than a trip to the restrooms, he didn't think he'd seen her leave her spot under the umbrella once. Maybe she'd gotten a snack at some point, but he doubted it. Something was seriously wrong with Chrissy, and he didn't know how to fix it. He didn't know if she'd even want him to fix it. He just knew he had to do something.
When the sun was just about to set, Nancy and Eddie wandered off to have a private moment together leaving Steve with the perfect opportunity to try to find out what was wrong. He approached her with two rocket pops that he'd purchased from a nearby ice cream cart, and he offered her one as he moved to sit down next to her.
“I'm really hoping you like rocket pops,” he told her as he handed her the treat. “I wasn't sure what flavor you'd choose, and I always got these as a kid because I was really indecisive, and they're three different flavors, so I figured I couldn't go wrong with this one, you know?”
With the sun setting, the breeze seemed especially cool, and he noticed that she was shivering a little as she hugged her knees to her chest. Before she could say anything about the popsicle he'd given her, he turned around and grabbed his windbreaker from where he'd tossed it that morning. He draped it around Chrissy's shoulders and gave them a little squeeze.
“That sea breeze is no joke,” he said as he offered up a small smile.
That was somehow the wrong thing for him to say because the next thing he knew, Chrissy was crying. This was the last thing he wanted to happen, and he was struggling to figure out what he could do for her.
His struggle was short-lived because Chrissy spoke up.
“Why are you so nice to me?” she asked. She was avoiding making eye contact with him, choosing to stare at the popsicle instead.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what is all this?” she asked as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her free hand. “The popsicle and the jacket. The plushies. Making me feel safe when I was scared and reassuring me whenever I'm upset about something. I've been racking my brain, and I can't understand why anyone would be so nice to me. And I know you said that sometimes people are nice just because they want to be, but I don't deserve that kindness. I don't.”
If he didn't think she'd brush him off, he'd pull her closer to him and hold her until she stopped crying. This was obviously something that he couldn't fix with a popsicle and a smile.
“Who made you think that you don't deserve to be treated with kindness?”
Chrissy shook her head and wiped at her eyes again.
“That's okay,” he told her. “We can just sit here quietly. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.”
So, they sat in silence. She waited until it had started to melt a little bit, but Chrissy did eat her popsicle. Steve wasn't counting that as a win though. Not when she was still so upset and shutting down on him. Not when he could still hear the occasional sniffle coming from her direction.
Once the sun had almost completely set, Chrissy started to feel braver. Maybe it was because Steve had sat with her while she cried and hadn't tried to force her to speak or maybe it was because she felt more hidden without the sun beating down on them - she just knew that, for the first time, she wasn't afraid to tell someone what was going on in her head.
“My mother,” she said, breaking the silence.
“What?”
“You asked me who made me think I didn't deserve to be treated with kindness, and I'm giving you an answer. I don’t talk about this with anybody because it’s not exactly the easiest thing in the world for me, but I don’t have the best relationship with my mom. I’ve always been the family disappointment, and nothing I do is ever good enough in her eyes.”
“I find it really hard to believe that a girl like you could be the family disappointment,” he told her. “You’re perfect.”
Chrissy huffed out a laugh.
“That’s because I have to be. Perfect, I mean. And I thought that maybe not being around her during this trip would help, but I can hear her telling me what a failure I am every time I do something that she wouldn’t approve of, and it’s actively ruining this trip for me. I usually love the beach, but I sat out today and punished myself for my bad eating habits because I could hear her telling me that it was obvious I’d gone off my diet and that everyone was going to stare at me because of how horrible I looked. Even now, I can hear her saying how foolish it was for me to waste calories on a treat when I’ve already done so much damage to myself with all of the junk I’ve been eating on this trip so far.
“She’d be furious if she ever found out that I was badmouthing her, but right now, I don’t care. The other day, you asked me why I never sing, and that’s her fault, too. I’ve wanted to be in musicals for as long as I can remember. I love them. I love the way that they make me feel, and I wanted nothing more than to provide other people with that same feeling. But then I was eleven, and I was singing along to whatever musical it was that I was obsessed with at the time, and my mother came in my room specifically to tell me that I had a very unpleasant voice, and I needed to stop doing that because it was never going to get me anywhere. So I did.
“I did everything she told me to. I joined cheerleading because she said that was something that I was better skilled for. I dated the boy that she wanted me to date. I became friends with the people that she wanted me to be friends with, and now pretty much all of them don’t even talk to me anymore because they sided with that boy during our breakup. The only thing I haven’t gone along with is cutting Eddie out of my life. I’d be a truly miserable person without him, and I won’t let her take him away from me, too.
“It’s like she’ll never be happy if I’m not miserable though. She picks and she picks and she picks until I feel so small that I just go along with whatever she says because that’s easier than standing up for myself while she takes away everything that has the potential to make me happy. And even if I do everything that she wants, I’ll never be good enough for her. She’ll never be proud of me.”
Chrissy hugged her knees closer to her chest and willed herself not to cry anymore. Letting all of that out had felt good in the moment, but now she was embarrassed that she’d word vomited on Steve and let him see through the cracks of the imperfect mask she wore.
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I don’t talk about this with anybody, and I just dumped all of that on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s clearly something you needed to get out, and I’m glad I could be here for you.”
“Thank you.”
He might have seemed calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside, he could feel the anger building in his chest. Chrissy deserved better than that, and he had no way of fixing this. He didn’t know if it was something that really could be fixed.
But he understood how she felt. Her situation was different from his, but it pained him how much he related to her. So, while he couldn’t fix the hurt that she was feeling, maybe he could show her that she wasn’t alone.
“You know, your mom’s voice will get quieter eventually,” he told her. “Once you’re spending less time with her and more time with people who care about you and see the best in you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because you and I are more alike than you think.”
He smiled at her, but she could tell there was something sort of bittersweet to it. There was a sadness in his eyes even though he was very clearly trying to be positive for her benefit.
“You know how I had that job at Scoops Ahoy?”
She nodded.
“Well, it wasn't exactly my decision to work there.”
“How does that have anything to do with the way my mother talks to me?”
“My dad and I have never exactly seen eye to eye about who I should be and what I should be doing with my life. I'm the family disappointment, too. I grew up knowing that I was never going to be good enough to be the man that he expected me to be. That's just how it was in my house, you know? I was always a problem because I didn't anticipate exactly what he wanted. Being on the basketball team or the swim team wasn't good enough unless I was the captain and did the best or the most in every single game. And even then, I still wasn't good enough. I could have scored the game winning point, and he would have complained that we didn't win by enough, which was obviously my fault because I didn't score enough. Stupid stuff like that.
“So when I graduated high school with mediocre grades and didn't get into a single college, I figured he was going to be even worse than normal. By then, I'd gotten pretty used to tuning him out, but it still hurt. It still sucked to hear nothing but negativity from him. He didn't say anything about it though. Just hung up the phone when I called to tell him since he and mom were on one of their long business trips at the time. That almost hurt worse. Yelling and belittling me? I can handle that. I was used to that. But him being so angry that he couldn't even speak? That was a whole new level.
“When they got home, the house wasn't up to their standards,” he huffed out a laugh. “It's so stupid to me now that it's almost funny. It wasn't even messy. I hadn't put the recycling in the garage, and there was a basket of laundry I hadn't folded yet in the kitchen. Maybe I'd left a towel on the floor or something, too. I don't really remember. I just know that he acted like I'd burnt the house to the ground instead of it actually looking a little lived in for once. He went on this tirade about how me not getting into college didn't mean that I could sit around the house doing nothing all day and wasting his hard-earned money. Told me that I didn't realize how good I had it and that it was about time for me to get a job and develop a real work ethic. Which is so stupid because I'd worked the past three summers as a lifeguard at the community pool, I was babysitting pretty regularly, and I was already actively looking for a job. I just hadn't found something yet. He didn't know any of that though. That would have required him to actually be present or to talk to me about something other than what a failure I am.
“Anyway, he made me apply for every single open job in Hawkins - even ones that I was in no way qualified for - and he made me put him down as a reference on every single one. That way he could bad mouth me to everyone who was interested in hiring me. He decided that the Scoops Ahoy uniform was humiliating enough, and that's why I ended up working there for the last year.”
“I'm so sorry,” she told him. “That sounds awful.”
“It wasn't all bad,” he said with a shrug. “I mean, the sailor uniform was awful, but at least it was comfortable. And I got to spend the year working with my best friend instead of in a boring office job with a bunch of mindless drones who kiss my dad's ass. The job was more for the humiliation than anything else, and he didn’t kick me out or cut me off, so I was able to save pretty much everything I made, so I'll eventually be able to move out and get my own place without using any of his money to do it. I'm glad that I never have to put in another shift there, but I don't hate that I had the experience.”
“Silver linings?” she asked.
“I guess so.”
There was more he wanted to say to her. Needed to say to her really. He was just afraid that he’d hurt her when she was already so vulnerable. It had to be said though, so he took a deep breath and huffed out a sigh before speaking again.
“The worst part about it was that I felt like I deserved it,” he started. “My dad has been telling me that I’m too stupid to make something of myself since I was old enough to understand what he was telling me. I was too stupid to get into college, so I was too stupid to work at his company or do any kind of job that wasn’t completely mindless. The only thing I was smart enough to do was scoop ice cream. I still struggle with the lasting effects of my dad’s words, so I know that what you’re dealing with isn’t easy. But, when I’m surrounded by the people I care about, my dad’s voice disappears. It gets a little easier to tell myself that I’m better than that.
“That’s why it hurt so much when you were surprised that I was reading. I’m used to my dad and people who don’t know me or have made assumptions about me thinking I’m dumb. ‘Of course, Steve Harrington can’t read. He’s just a dumb jock. He probably doesn’t even know what books are.’ But I thought that you and I had really been connecting with each other. That you’d seen past all of that and I could be real with you. So, it really stung knowing that you saw me as that stupid, and it reinforced the fact that maybe there is a little bit of truth to everything my dad has said over the years.”
Chrissy’s heart sank. None of that was true. She’d never once thought he was stupid, and she couldn’t let him think that about himself. She scooted closer to him on the blanket and grabbed one of his hands, gripping it tightly in her own.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “So, so incredibly sorry. I don’t think you’re stupid at all, and I’m sorry that I did something or reacted in some way that made you feel like you were. That was never my intention, and I would never purposely do something to make you feel bad about yourself. I will admit that I was surprised to find you reading, but not for the reasons you thought I was. Never for those reasons.”
Steve avoided looking at Chrissy and instead stared at where she was holding his hand.
“Why were you surprised then? If you don't mind me asking.”
“You’re just so different from what I expected,” she admitted. “I may not have officially met you until this trip, but it was hard not to hear stories about the King of Hawkins High just like I’m sure you heard plenty of stories about me. You’re so different from the person that I was led to believe you were, and the Steve that I’d heard so much about didn’t seem like a reader. Not because of how smart you hypothetically were or weren’t but because that just didn’t seem like a hobby you’d enjoy. But I think it's wonderful that you're a reader. I loved getting to see a side of you that not many other people have gotten to see, and I hope I didn’t ruin whatever connection we had. I would hate it if we couldn't be open with each other anymore because of something I did.
“And, for the record, there are a lot of things that are far more important than being the smartest person in the room. You're funny, you're so incredibly kind, and you care about people with your whole heart. I mean, just look at how much time you've spent taking pictures of a squirrel figurine just because you know how happy it's going to make your friend. You're so selfless, and I see you putting everyone else's needs above your own constantly. You've been doing that with me this whole trip.
“I know I haven't known you for very long, but anyone who spends five minutes with you can see that you're the very best kind of person, and your dad is a fucking idiot if he can't realize that.”
Steve was quiet for a moment. Partially because of how touched he was by what Chrissy had said and partially because he was pretty sure the strongest curse word he'd heard her say so far was “darn,” so he hadn't been expecting such a forceful statement from her.
“Thank you,” he finally said as he gave her hand a small squeeze. “Now, you say the same thing about your mom.”
She shook her head.
“I can't.”
“Yes, you can. Your mom is clearly a fucking idiot if she can't see that you're perfect just the way you are. I know it, and you know it. You just gotta get up and say it.”
She hesitated and bit her lower lip before shaking her head again.
“I really can't.”
“C'mon,” he said as he poked at her side with his free hand, smirking when she giggled and tried fidgeting away from him a little. “You'll feel so much better if you get up and yell it. She'll never find out because she's not here to hear you say it, and I'll hold your hand the entire time if you want.”
He moved to stand and then offered her his hand to help her up. She let him pull her to her feet, and soon they were standing together hand in hand.
“I'm right here,” he told her, giving her hand a small squeeze. “You don't have to do this alone.”
Chrissy nodded and took a deep breath as she turned to face the shoreline. She could do this. She knew she could do this. With Steve by her side, she could do anything. Everything would be okay.
“My mother is a fucking idiot!” she yelled out at the horizon. Her eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth with her free hand. She was silent for a moment, but when she moved her hand away, Steve could see that it had been hiding the largest smile.
“I did it. I can't believe I did it,” she said as she turned to face him.
“You did.”
Chrissy dropped Steve's hand before practically leaping at him to wrap her arms around his neck. He caught her and wrapped his arms around her waist, but the force of her body colliding with his knocked him off balance on the uneven ground, and soon they were falling backwards into the sand. He landed flat on his back with her directly on top of him, and after the shock wore off, they both dissolved into a fit of giggles.
“I'm so sorry,” she said through her laughter. “I didn't hurt you, did I?”
“I'm okay. Are you?”
“Never better.”
Neither of them made any moves to get up or separate their bodies from each other. One of his hands was resting against the small of her back, and she felt so seen as he looked into her eyes. With their bodies pressed together like that, she could feel his chest moving with every breath he took, and she was certain that he could feel the way her heart was pounding against her ribcage. If there was ever a moment for her to kiss him and finally express that she was interested in him the way that she hoped he was interested in her, now was the time. She just had to make her move.
He reached up to brush her hair back behind her ear as she leaned in, and just as their lips were about to touch -
“Chrissy! Steve!” Eddie called out, effectively ruining their moment.
Steve cursed internally as Chrissy immediately moved off of him and tried to put a little distance between their bodies. Eddie had the worst timing in the world.
Steve tore his gaze away from where Chrissy was now hiding her face behind one of the sleeves of his jacket and looked over at Eddie who was carrying a very sleepy-looking Nancy on his back.
“Are you guys ready to head back to the motel?” he asked. “Nance is falling asleep on me, and I'm probably next.”
“Yeah, we can go,” Steve replied. “Just gotta pack up our umbrella and blanket first.”
“You good, Chrissy?” Eddie asked, finally noticing the way she seemed to be trying to get that jacket to swallow her whole.
“I'm fine,” she said without looking up at him. “Perfectly fine.”
Truthfully, she couldn't have been more embarrassed if she tried. She'd been about to kiss Steve after insisting that they were just friends, and now Eddie was never going to let her live it down. And the worst part was that she didn't even get to kiss him. They didn't kiss, the moment had passed, and she was afraid she'd never get the courage to be so bold again. Maybe, if she was lucky, Steve would take charge and be the one to kiss her, but she was afraid that their one perfect moment had passed them by to never be recreated again.
She tried not to dwell on that too much, but it was the only thing she could think of on the drive back to the motel, and it was the only thing she could think of as she waited for everyone else to be done with the bathroom so she could take a shower. That thought was surely going to consume her.
While Chrissy was in the shower, Steve headed out to attempt to find a vending machine so he could get them all a drink. Once he was gone, Eddie flopped over next to Nancy on her bed.
“Eddie, no,” Nancy groaned. “You'll fall asleep.”
“I won't,” he insisted even though his voice was barely loud enough for her to hear him.
“You will. And then where will Chrissy sleep?”
“She can sleep here, too. I don't mind.”
“No room. Get in your own bed.”
“Five minutes.” He buried his face in her neck. “I'll get up when she's done. Promise.”
When Chrissy exited the bathroom, Eddie and Nancy were curled up next to each other and fast asleep with him softly snoring as he held her caged in his arms. Chrissy would have thought it was cute if it didn't send her straight into a panic. If Eddie was sleeping in her bed, that meant she was sleeping in his bed. And, if she was sleeping in his bed, that meant she was sharing with Steve. Steve who she would have kissed if they hadn't been interrupted. They were going to be sharing a bed that had barely felt big enough when she was sharing with Nancy, and she was certain it was going to feel ten times smaller when she was laying next to him.
She cautiously sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to make herself seem casual even if her insides were in knots. She was just about to get up and go hide in the bathroom when Steve reentered their room.
“I came out of the bathroom, and they were like that,” she blurted out before he could say anything. She didn't want him to think she'd planned this or encouraged it in any way.
“I had a feeling that might happen,” he admitted. “I didn't expect either of them to be up when I got back, if I'm being honest. I figured Eddie'd at least fall asleep in our bed though.”
“He didn't.”
“No, he did not.”
Steve moved to hand Chrissy one of the water bottles he was carrying before grabbing his pillow off the bed and tossing it on the floor.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Eddie took your spot, so you need a place to sleep. You take my bed. I'm fine on the floor.”
“Oh. I thought we could share.”
Of course, he didn't want to sleep next to her. That was too much for her to expect. He probably hadn't even wanted to kiss her, and she would have made a fool out of herself if they hadn't been interrupted.
“Are you sure?” Steve asked. “It'll be kind of crowded, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I'm not letting you sleep on the floor. I think we can manage just fine, don't you?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
He grabbed his pillow off the floor and placed it back on the bed before climbing in and making himself comfortable. She followed his lead and climbed into the bed next to him after turning off the lights, but she tried to keep as much space between them as humanly possible. He had been worried about her comfort, but she was worried that she'd crowd him too much. She had a bad habit of clinging to anyone or anything that was sharing her bed with her. She could have blamed it on her being afraid when they were sharing the tent, but she'd never forgive herself if she made things even more awkward between them now.
Steve noticed that she was trying to put space between them and failing miserably. He knew what it had to be about because it was the same thing that he couldn't stop thinking about: she'd almost kissed him on that beach. He was sure that's what was about to happen. If they hadn't been interrupted, she would have kissed him, and he would have gotten to tell her how much he'd been wanting to do exactly that.
But that hadn't happened, and now they were in this weird limbo where they didn't know how to talk to each other anymore because that missed moment was hanging over them. He was afraid that the awkwardness building between them wouldn't go away until they'd actually kissed, and that definitely wasn't going to happen tonight. Not when Eddie and Nancy were sleeping in the next bed. But he had to do something so they could both relax.
“So, my Fozzie impression is nowhere near as good as my Kermit,” he said as he rolled over to face her. “But I can give it a shot if you're missing him.”
Chrissy shot up into a sitting position and playfully glared down at him.
“Are you making fun of me?” she asked.
“Oh, no. I would never,” he said with a teasing smirk.
Chrissy gasped and placed a hand over her heart in mock offense. The next thing Steve knew, she'd pounced and was tickling up and down his sides.
“Chrissy!” he sputtered out through his laughter. “Why?”
“C'mon, Steve,” she said as she continued her playful torture. “You wanted to be Fozzie, and Fozzie just loves to laugh.”
He tried to fight her off the best he could, but she was quick, switching spots around his torso whenever he tried to grab at her wiggling fingers, and it was hard for him to anticipate where she'd move next when his eyes were scrunched shut with laughter. She couldn't help but smile and laugh along with him as he flinched whenever she hit an especially sensitive spot.
Her hands traveled lower to squeeze at his hips, and he was finally able to grab ahold of her wrists and pull her hands off of him. His laughter died down, but his smile never left his face as he tried to regain his composure.
“This is adorable. Where else are you ticklish?” she asked, wiggling her fingers in his direction while he kept her hands trapped.
“No more. Please.”
“Can I have my hands back then?”
“Never. You've lost your hand privileges for being evil.”
“I'm a big sister. It comes with the territory,” she said with an innocent smile and a tiny shrug.
“Well, if that's the case, I should probably let you know that as an only child, I don't like losing at anything. Ever. Including tickle fights.”
Before Chrissy could protest, Steve was scrambling to switch their positions, and she was laying flat on her back with him hovering over her. He kept her wrists pinned with one hand and the other hand rested against her side. He made no moves to tickle her yet. Just held her there to build anticipation.
“And what if I said I wasn't ticklish?” she asked.
“I think we both know that would be a lie.”
He punctuated his point with a quick poke to her side in the spot that had her giggling and moving away from him earlier, and he smirked down at her as she bit her lower lip and squirmed in his grasp.
“Steve, we're gonna wake up Eddie and Nancy.”
“You weren't concerned about them at all when I was the one being tickled,” he teased with a flutter of his fingers against her side. “And since I was viciously attacked for offering to do something nice, I think this is only fair.”
He kept his touch teasing and light, just enough to make her start giggling and squirming, tracing patterns on her side with the hand that wasn't pinning her wrists. Truthfully, he just wanted to see her smiling. He wanted to erase any memory of her tears from the beach because he never wanted to see her that sad again. And if playing around like this made her happy, who was he to deny her a little fun?
Once he felt like he'd teased her enough, he released her wrists to make it a fair fight and started tickling up and down her sides much like she'd done to him. Her laughter picked up, but instead of trying to stop his hands like he'd done with her, she tried to tickle him back. She got in a few good pokes, but every time she tried to really get him, he moved to attack an exposed armpit, and soon her arms were retracting to try and protect what he was assuming was her most ticklish spot from the reactions she was giving him.
When he found a spot on her ribs that had her kicking her legs and laughing so hard that she snorted, she tapped out.
“Truce,” she managed to get out through her laughter. “Please.”
“Since you asked so nicely.”
Steve's hands slowed to a stop, but he made no moves to remove them from her sides. He just held her in place as she came down from her giggle high.
“I can't believe I snorted,” she said once she'd caught her breath. “That's so embarrassing.”
She covered her face with her hands.
He really wanted to kiss her.
Instead, he removed his hands from her sides and pulled her hands away from her face.
“I don’t know. I thought it was kinda cute.”
Chrissy was thankful for how dark the room was because she was sure her face was beet red. He couldn't call her cute when her skin was still tingling from the way he'd just had his hands all over her. She wasn't strong enough to handle this.
“We should probably go to sleep,” she told him.
“You're probably right. We've got another big beach day tomorrow.”
“I might even swim this time.”
“I'd really like it if you did.”
Steve rolled over to make himself comfortable, and without him practically on top of her, Chrissy finally realized how cold it was in the room. For such a crappy motel, they were really blasting the air conditioning, and the blankets on the bed just weren't cutting it. She didn't remember being this cold the night before, but she was pretty preoccupied with trying not to obsess over the fact that Steve was sleeping shirtless in the next bed. He was wearing a shirt tonight though, so she no longer had that distraction.
She started to think that maybe she wouldn't be so cold with Steve's arms around her again. All she had to do was get him to cuddle with her. How hard could that be?
“Hey, Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“Is your offer to be my Fozzie for the night still on the table?”
God, he really wanted to kiss her.
Steve rolled back over and opened his arms for her, and she scooched over to him. She rested her head on his chest and draped an arm over his waist as she snuggled as close to him as humanly possible. As he wrapped his arms around her in turn, she immediately started to feel a little warmer. He was like a furnace, radiating heat and making her feel more comfortable.
Once she was fully settled against him, he leaned in towards her slightly.
“Wocka wocka,” he said in his best attempt at a Fozzie impression.
Chrissy gasped, and the arm that she had draped around his waist moved to tickle his side again.
“Hey!” he laughed as he grabbed her hand and pulled it away from his body. “I thought we had a truce?”
“My real Fozzie doesn't speak,” she said matter of factly. “He only snuggles.”
“My apologies.”
He gave her hand a little squeeze, but neither of them made any move to let go of the other.
“Goodnight, Steve.”
“Night, Chrissy.”
And so the two drifted off to sleep still holding hands.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Eddie woke up to use the toilet, and when he exited the bathroom, the light illuminated Chrissy and Steve snuggled up together in their sleep. He wasn't sure if he was really seeing it or if it was just a trick of his still half asleep mind. So, instead of turning out the light and going back to bed, he crept closer and took a quick picture of them with his phone. He couldn't guarantee that they'd still be like that in the morning, and he needed proof that this had actually happened to show Nancy once she was awake. It was going to be a lot harder for the two of them to deny that something was happening between them now.
***
When Chrissy woke up the next morning, she was laying on her side with her back pressed up against Steve's chest. His arm was draped over her and holding her close, and as far as she could tell, he was still fast asleep. A quick glance around the room told her that they were alone, but she could hear the shower running, so she assumed at least one of their friends was in the bathroom right now.
Normally, she was a morning person - the kind of morning person who liked to get out of bed and start her day immediately to be exact - but she was content to laze about in bed for the entire day if it meant Steve would keep holding her like that. The longer she stayed laying there the more her thoughts started to turn on her though. Even if he was cuddling her in his sleep, maybe he hadn't wanted her practically on top of him the night before. Maybe his initial offer of being her Fozzie for the evening really had been a joke, and he hadn't actually wanted to have her clinging to him like that. She'd been far too forward with him, and he wasn't interested in her in that way at all. He'd tell her that himself once he'd woken up.
And her mother would absolutely lose her mind if she knew that her daughter had shared a bed with a boy. Even if it was purely platonic - which Chrissy wasn’t even sure if it was - she could hear her mother calling her a tramp and telling her that only a common whore shared a bed with a man that she wasn't married to.
The more she thought about it, the more she needed to get out of that bed immediately, but Steve was holding onto her pretty securely. She tried to wiggle her way out of his arms, but he just seemed to hold onto her tighter.
“Good morning,” he said as he gave her a little squeeze, settling deeper into their blankets.
And, just like that, all of Chrissy's bad thoughts washed away. There was nowhere else she’d rather be when she could hear the smile in Steve's sleepy, scratchy voice. Any doubts in her mind about whether or not he'd really wanted to cuddle with her vanished when he only seemed to snuggle closer to her now that he was awake.
“Good morning,” she said, rolling over onto her back so she could look at him. His hair was sticking out in all directions, and he was looking at her with the sweetest, sleepiest smile. Her heart melted just a little bit at the sight. “You sleep okay?”
“Best sleep of my life. You?”
“Never better. Thank you for being my temporary Fozzie. I kind of really needed that comfort after everything we talked about. Plus, you're really warm. Kept me from freezing to death last night.”
“I see how it is,” he teased. “I'm just an object to you. Making me feel real cheap here, Cunningham.”
Steve tried to act offended, but it was hard to believe that he actually was when the smile never left his face which only made Chrissy start to laugh.
“And now she laughs at me! I save her from certain death, and she laughs at me. I’m wounded. Seriously wounded.”
This made her laugh even harder to the point where she snorted again and immediately moved to look away from him.
“Okay, I think I need to get up now,” she said as she started to work her way out of Steve’s grasp.
“No, I don’t think so. I’m not ready to start the day yet, so you can’t be ready either.”
“But what if I wanted to get breakfast?” she asked.
“Nope. You’re trapped. How tragic.”
He pulled her to lay with her back against his chest again as he burrowed deeper into their blankets.
“Well, if I’m trapped, I guess I have no other option than to accept my fate and stay here,” she said as she made herself comfortable again.
“A wise decision really. And, for the record, I don't mind being your personal space heater. It wasn't exactly an unenjoyable experience for me either.”
“Good to know.”
With Steve holding her like that, it was all too easy for her to fall back asleep until Eddie burst back into their room from outside.
“I come bearing sustenance!” he announced, holding up a couple of white paper bags.
She wasn't sure how long she'd dozed off, but the shower was still running, so it couldn't have been very long. But with Eddie back in the room, she was starting to feel self-conscious about how snuggled up with Steve she was. He didn't seem to care though, and he made no moves to stop cuddling her, so that helped to quiet those thoughts. If Steve didn't care about how much Eddie was about to tease them, she could try not to care, too.
But the teasing never came. Instead, Eddie just sat down on the edge of the bed that he'd shared with Nancy the night before and passed one of the bags over to Steve.
“I wasn't sure what you guys wanted since you were still sleeping when I left, but I went to this burrito place around the corner and just ordered whatever sounded decent,” he told them.
Steve moved to sit up and Chrissy had to stop herself from looking visibly upset about the fact that he wasn't holding her anymore. She moved to sit up as well and took the bag from Steve when he offered it to her. When she peeked inside and saw the size of the burrito that was left for her, she could feel her stomach starting to churn. It was massive. Much larger than anything she ever would have ordered for herself. She could already hear her mother telling her that everyone would think she was a pig if she dared to eat more than a single bite of that monstrosity, and she wanted nothing more than to set the bag aside and nibble on one of her granola bars instead.
But then Steve was nudging her with his elbow. She pulled her gaze away from her breakfast to look up at him.
“Fucking idiots. Remember?”
He offered up a small smile, and soon the furrow of her brow softened as she smiled back.
“Yeah. Fucking idiots.”
And, just like that, she was able to enjoy her breakfast. Nothing bad was going to happen to her if she ate this breakfast burrito. She didn't even notice the weird look that Eddie was giving them until he spoke up.
“What was that?” he asked.
“What was what?” Steve answered.
“You know what. Anything you two wanna share with the class?”
Before either of them could respond, Nancy opened the bathroom door and poked her head out.
“Eddie, could you give me a hand here? My bikini top is twisted, and I'm having trouble fixing it on my own.”
Eddie pushed himself off the bed and made his way into the bathroom where Nancy immediately closed the door behind him. She was already fully dressed, and there were no issues with her top like she’d said.
“After you showed me that picture, I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to pester them about what happened between them last night?” she asked in a hushed tone. “They’re not going to tell us anything if you put them on the spot like that.”
“Well, you’re ninety seven percent of my impulse control, and you weren’t out there.”
“Okay, so how about instead of questioning them before they’re ready to tell us what’s happening, you text Robin that picture and get her opinions on this situation? She might have a better insight into whether or not Steve's really interested in her or not.”
“But I already know Steve's into her,” Eddie admitted. “He's just waiting for her to make the first move.”
“When did he tell you this?” Nancy asked. “Actually, better question: why is this the first that I'm hearing about this?”
“While we were camping, and I could have sworn I told you.”
“No. This is completely new information for me, and this changes everything. What are the chances that Chrissy makes the first move though?”
“Slim to none.”
“That's what I was afraid of. Group text with Robin?”
“Way ahead of you.”
All Eddie did was drop the photo he'd taken of Chrissy and Steve asleep together, and soon Robin was spamming them with messages.
Robin: !!!!
Robin: what?
Robin: when?
Robin: how?
Robin: details! I need details!!!!!
Eddie: don't know. last night. also don't know.
Nancy: but they're clearly flirting with each other
Eddie: and neither of them are willing to make the first move so it's physically painful to watch them
Robin: has he done the hand size thing yet? that's a classic move on his part
Nancy: no. not in front of us at least. but they've been holding hands quite a bit, so I wouldn't be surprised if he has.
Robin: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Robin: why is this the first I'm hearing about this?
Robin: I demand constant updates!
Eddie: any tips for getting steve to kiss her already?
Robin: leave them alone as much as possible maybe? they're both probably feeling pressured because of you two constantly staring at them
Nancy: I am not constantly staring at them
Nancy: eddie on the other hand
Eddie: hey! I don't stare.
Eddie: I occasionally observe to make sure my best friend is having the best vacation possible
Eddie: it's what she deserves
Robin: sure
Robin: just let me know when they kiss!
“So, what do you think?” Eddie asked. “Think we can manage to give them some alone time?”
“I have an idea for that actually. Get back out there and give me five minutes to tie up some loose ends in here, alright?”
“As you wish.”
Eddie made his way out of the bathroom and back into the room’s main area where he found Steve and Chrissy still sitting practically on top of each other in bed even though they’d had plenty of time to move apart while he was gone. As much as he wanted to continue pestering them about how snuggled up they were when he came back from getting breakfast, he was trying to behave and do as Nancy said. There would be plenty of time to question them later, so he focused on finishing his burrito instead.
“I know we’re supposed to stay here for another night, but I can’t stay in this motel another minute,” Nancy said when she finally emerged from the bathroom. “That bathroom is disgusting, and we need more space than this. I did a little research this morning, and I managed to find a bed and breakfast not too far from here that has two open rooms, so we’re staying there for our last night here. Make sure all your stuff is packed before we leave for the beach so we can deal with checkout now and never have to come back here again.”
Chrissy felt a little conflicted with this new information. On one hand, the idea of a cozy little bed and breakfast where she’d have more space and a shower that didn’t look straight out of a horror movie sounded heavenly after two nights in their cramped and dingy motel room. However, she knew that meant that her opportunity to snuggle up with Steve for another night was officially off the table. She knew it was silly of her to expect that they’d end up sharing a bed for a second night in a row since that hadn’t been part of the plan for the night before in the first place, but she was still somewhat hopeful that Eddie would have fallen asleep in the wrong bed again to give her another chance.
“Sounds great,” Steve said before turning towards Chrissy. “Do you want the bathroom next, or should I go first?”
“You go first. I can wait.”
Steve finally got out of bed and gathered up the things he'd need in the bathroom. Once he was inside the bathroom, Nancy put part of her plan into action.
“I'm sorry you two had to share a bed,” she said as she started to repack her suitcase. “I told Eddie that he couldn't stay with me, but I fell asleep and couldn't stop him from doing the same.”
“That's okay,” Chrissy told her. “We didn't mind.”
“Still. It wasn't really fair to you. I know how small these beds are, and it couldn’t have been comfortable for either of you.”
Chrissy remained quiet. Part of her wanted to talk about last night with Nancy. Getting another woman’s opinion on the situation sounded so appealing to her, and maybe she’d have advice on how to proceed. The issue was that she didn’t want to talk about this in front of Eddie. She loved her best friend. Honestly, she did. There was nothing about him that she’d ever want to change, but she knew him. She knew that he would tease her about this, and that wasn’t what she needed when she was so unsure about how she was feeling and whether or not she was making a fool of herself right now.
Almost as if she could read the uncertainty on Chrissy’s face, Nancy turned her attention towards her boyfriend where he was lounging on the bed and finishing off his burrito.
“Do you mind going to get us something to drink? Maybe just some water bottles from the vending machine? Please?” she asked him.
“I thought you wanted me to pack my stuff?”
“Well, you aren’t packing right now, and I would be very grateful if you gave us the opportunity to have a little private girl talk.”
Eddie glanced back and forth between the two for a moment before pushing himself up from the bed and heading towards the door.
“You’re lucky I love you,” he said. “Both of you.”
“Thank you,” Nancy called after him as he left.
She waited until she was sure that Eddie was gone and made sure she could hear the shower running to be sure that Steve wouldn’t be able to hear them either before turning her attention back towards Chrissy.
“Steve didn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, did he?” she asked as she moved to sit down next to her. “Because I’ll go in that bathroom and strangle him right now if he took advantage of you or forced you to snuggle up to him like that. Just say the word, and I’ll do it.”
“It wasn't like that,” Chrissy insisted. “Steve was very much a gentleman. Honest.”
“Okay, good. Because I really would have strangled him if that wasn't the case. Can I ask you something else then?”
Chrissy nodded.
“If he was such a gentleman, why did you get so quiet when I brought up the beds?”
“I just didn't want Eddie to tease me.”
“Why would he have teased you?”
“Can I be honest with you?”
“You know, I really want us to be friends,” Nancy said as she considered Chrissy's question. “Of course, we've technically hung out together before, but that was always Eddie's doing. We were both there for him and not for each other. Other than Robin, I don't really have any friends that are girls, so when Eddie invited you to come with us, I was excited for the opportunity to finally get to know you a little better. I want us to be close, so you can absolutely be honest with me, and I promise I'll be honest with you in return.”
A smile lit up Chrissy's face. She'd never voice these fears out loud, but she'd spent a great deal of time afraid that Nancy only put up with her because of her friendship with Eddie. That Nancy only saw her as her boyfriend's annoying best friend and tolerated her being around for the sake of her relationship. So, hearing that Nancy actually wanted to be friends with her outside of the context of what Eddie meant to them really helped to push those fears aside. She never did this kind of thing with the other cheerleaders, but she trusted that she could share what was currently on her mind without fear of judgment.
“Well, if I'm being completely honest here, I'm the one who asked him to cuddle with me.”
“You did?”
“I did. I mean, he offered, but I thought it might have been a joke at first? But then I asked him, and he didn't even say anything. Just opened his arms to let me get closer to him, and he seemed to care more about my comfort than his own. It was very sweet actually.”
She stared down at her lap as she remembered the feeling of Steve's arms wrapped around her, and she couldn't help but smile at the thought. What she wouldn't give to fall asleep like that again.
“Chrissy Cunningham,” Nancy said with a beaming smile of her own. “Is that a blush I see?”
“I don't know. Maybe?” she replied.
“I think you like him.”
“I don't think that really matters. We barely know each other.”
“So? Do you remember when I interviewed you and Eddie for the school paper? For your production of Pygmalion?”
Chrissy nodded.
“That was the first real conversation I ever had with Eddie, and I knew I liked him by the time I left that auditorium. I felt terrible about it because I thought there was something going on between the two of you, but the feelings were still there regardless. So, I don't think it matters how long you've known him. All that matters is what you're feeling and whether or not you want to act on those feelings.”
“I'm not saying that I like him,” Chrissy insisted. “But, say that I do have feelings for him? Am I making a fool out of myself?”
“I don't think so. I've seen the way he looks at you, and I think that he could maybe like you, too. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there.”
“That's easier said than done. I've never just told a guy that I'm interested before.”
“You haven't?”
She shook her head.
“Jason was my first real relationship, and he was the one who asked me out. I've been second guessing a lot of that whole experience lately, so I have no idea what I'm doing here.”
“I don't know what I can say other than Steve is a great guy. He won't make you feel bad about yourself even if he doesn't feel the same way. I should know. I have firsthand experience with him.”
“Does that make this weird for you? Me asking you for advice on how to flirt with your ex, I mean?”
“Steve and I weren't right for each other, and it was never going to work out between us. Maybe if this had happened right after we broke up, I'd feel differently, but I view him the same way that I view my younger brother now. He annoys me to no end, but I can't imagine my life without him in it, and I just want him to be happy. If you'll make him happy, then I'm happy to give you a little nudge in the right direction.”
“You really think I could make him happy?”
“Yeah, I think I do. There's just something about the way he smiles at you. So, maybe just give him the opportunity to make the first move if you can't bring yourself to do it. I don't think you'll regret it.”
“Thank you.”
Chrissy didn't know what else to say. She might not have been sure how she would make it known that she was interested in starting something with Steve, but Nancy had effortlessly cleared away a sizable amount of her nerves about the whole situation.
“You're welcome,” Nancy replied. “Now pack up everything you don't need for the day. I don't want to spend a second longer in this place than I absolutely have to.”
With that, Nancy got up to finish packing her own things and get a start on Eddie's bags as well. Soon enough, it was Chrissy’s turn for the bathroom, and she found herself rushing through her morning routine to be ready as soon as possible. After the conversation that she’d had with Steve the night before, she was actually looking forward to their day at the beach. Her mother’s voice was still there - she knew it wouldn’t disappear completely overnight - but it was slightly easier to ignore it when she could recall Steve telling her that she was perfect.
So, when they were finally settled into their beach spot for the day, it only took her silently repeating that her mother was a fucking idiot to allow herself to take off her cover up and let other people see her wearing a bathing suit. Even if she felt a little self-conscious, she knew that her nautical themed bikini kept the parts of her that she was the most self-conscious about covered with its high-waisted bottoms. She could be brave about this, but she still felt herself freeze when Steve looked in her direction. As he approached her with his bottle of sunscreen, she told herself to play it cool. She could handle this. She knew she could.
“Mind giving me a hand again?” he asked, offering her the bottle.
She took it from him and helped him apply the sunscreen to his back again just like she’d done the day before. When she was finished, she handed the bottle back.
“Mind doing the same for me?” she asked.
She turned her back to him and pushed her hair over her shoulder so it would be out of his way. She tried to keep her cool as he took his time making sure he covered every inch of exposed skin on her back, but this was very different from them being snuggled up while fully clothed. Her skin was on fire with every little touch, and she hadn't realized just how large his hands were until could feel how much of her back they could cover at once.
After what felt like an eternity and still not enough time, Steve placed his hands on her shoulders and gave them a small squeeze.
“You're all set.”
“Thanks,” she said as she turned around to face him. “I appreciate it.”
“You're welcome. Cute suit by the way,” he said as he reached out to fiddle with one of the decorative white buttons closest to the top of her bikini bottoms. “I like the blue. It really makes your eyes pop.”
“Thanks,” she said, avoiding meeting his gaze. This was the exact kind of opportunity that she knew Nancy was talking about that morning. It would be so easy for her to just reach out and run a hand up his arm. She could smile at him and give his bicep a little squeeze. Look up at him and bat her eyes. Move a little closer to him and make it so much easier for him to lean in and kiss her. It would be so easy.
But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not there and not in that moment. Flirting with him while she was so exposed felt too intimidating. She needed a little push which meant getting some alone time with Nancy to get her opinion on how to proceed.
“So, are you gonna get into the water with us today?” he asked, pulling her away from her thoughts.
“I think so,” she replied. “But I was hoping to have a little girl time with Nancy first if that's alright with her.”
“Absolutely not,” Eddie said. “You already had girl time this morning. It's my turn. You can't have her.”
With that, Eddie grabbed Nancy around the waist and lifted her to run away from his friends and towards the shoreline with her giggling and shrieking the whole way.
Chrissy and Steve shared a look, and she backed up slightly when she saw the mischievous smile that lit up his face.
“I'm not sure I like whatever you're thinking right now,” she said as she took another step backwards.
The smile on her own face betrayed her, and soon, Steve was lunging to grab her. He lifted her with ease, and she clung to him as he ran to join Eddie and Nancy.
“Don't you dare drop me,” she managed to get out between her giggles.
It wasn't lost on her that Steve was treating her the same way that Eddie was treating his girlfriend, and she could feel her heart flutter as he gently let her down once they were about waist deep in the water.
“Look who's decided to join us today,” he announced to the other couple. “And only slightly against her will.”
“I was going to come out here eventually,” she insisted.
“Allegedly.”
Chrissy splashed in his direction which only led to him splashing her back, and soon they were enmeshed in an all out water war with Eddie and Nancy finally allowing Chrissy to act like the carefree girl she deserved to be.
***
When lunchtime finally rolled around, the group sprawled out on their blanket with sandwiches and chips from a nearby cart. After a morning of playing around in the water, they were all ready for a bit of a break.
“What are you looking forward to the most about being in D.C. tomorrow?” Nancy asked Chrissy as she started to unwrap her food. “I realized this morning that we never really got your input about what you wanted to do on this trip, and I could easily rearrange our schedule to include anything that we left out that's on any potential list you have.”
“Oh, I don't really have a list. This is your trip and not mine. You don't need to change anything on my behalf.”
“Don't be silly,” Nancy insisted. “This is just as much your trip as it is ours. If there's anything you want to do, I'll make sure it happens.”
“It's fine. Honestly, I'm just happy to be along for the ride.”
Steve frowned. If they hadn't had their heart to heart the night before, he might have believed her. But, knowing the pressure she was under to be agreeable and not be seen as a burden, he had a feeling that she wasn't allowing herself to do something that she felt might be an imposition. He felt compelled to make her realize that she was allowed to want things, and he thought he had a pretty good idea on how to do it.
When they finished eating, Steve excused himself saying that he was heading to the restrooms. Instead, he went in search of a vendor he was certain that he'd seen earlier. He quickly found them and purchased a single seashell collection jar. With a scrap of an old receipt, a sharpie, and some tape that he had in the glove box of his car, he made a new label for the jar.
Once he was happy with how it looked, he made his way back to where he'd left the group, and he found Chrissy by herself.
“I think Eddie and Nancy ran off to build a sandcastle,” she told him as he sat down next to her. “I told them I'd wait for you to get back.”
“This is for you,” he said as he handed her the jar. He watched as she eyed the label.
“The Chrissy needs to be nicer to herself jar?”
“Whenever I catch you being mean to yourself, you have to put a dollar in the jar. Every single time until we're back in Hawkins. And that includes you insisting that this isn't your trip, too. You might not have helped plan it, but you're an important part of it. For all of us.”
She was quiet for a moment, turning the jar over and passing it back and forth between her hands as she considered what Steve had told her.
“And what happens with the money at the end of the trip?” she asked when she finally spoke up.
“Well, if I see you putting yourself first, I might give you a dollar back, but I was thinking that we'd put this money towards doing something fun together after the trip.”
“Just the two of us?”
“Yeah. Just the two of us.”
“Okay. I can agree to those terms. Do I have to put a dollar in for saying I'm just along for the ride then?”
“I'll let that slide since it was before I made the jar. I just want you to realize that you're allowed to want things.”
“You know I'm not used to that.”
“I do.”
“Then you also know how hard this is going to be for me.”
“That doesn't mean I'm not going to help you get used to it.” He reached over and took one of her hands in his. “You deserve to be a little selfish sometimes.”
Chrissy didn't know if she could be selfish and put herself first. That went against everything her mom had forced her to believe over the years. She was supposed to be agreeable and go along with what everyone else wanted or else nobody would ever want her. But then there was Steve who was giving her hand a little squeeze and smiling at her and telling her that it was okay to care about her own happiness. She didn't know if she could do what he wanted her to do, but when he cared about her this much, she knew she could try.
***
Once they'd finished another long day at the beach, they made their way to the bed and breakfast that Nancy had found that morning. Nancy pulled Chrissy inside with her to check in, leaving the boys to unload and carry in all of their bags from the car.
“Now, you can say no to this, and I won't be mad at all,” Nancy said once they were out of earshot. “But I was maybe wondering if you'd be willing to share a room with Steve tonight? We have a room with one bed and a room with two beds booked, so obviously you would get the room with two beds. It's not like I'm expecting anything to happen between you two, and I don't want you to think this is me putting any pressure on you to make that kind of move on him or anything. It's just that Eddie and I really haven't gotten much alone time on this trip, and I'd really like to have a night for just the two of us, you know? But only if you're okay with sharing with Steve by yourself. If you're uncomfortable with that, just say the word, and you and I can share like we originally planned.”
The idea of sharing a room with Steve was both exciting and terrifying for Chrissy. On one hand, she'd never spent the night alone with a boy with a before. Not unless you counted Eddie, and she certainly didn't since there was no physical attraction between them. It was different with Steve. She still hadn't built up the courage to make a move or even let him know that she was open to him making a move, and sharing a room with him definitely threw that door open in a way that she wasn't sure if she was ready for.
On the other hand, the idea of potentially getting to sleep snuggled up to him again was so appealing. And knowing that there were two beds in the room helped to calm her nerves because she didn't have to share with him if she ended up being too afraid to ask him for another night of cuddles. They could just be two people sharing a room. Nothing had to happen between them.
“I can share with Steve,” she decided. “I don't mind.”
“You're literally my favorite person right now,” Nancy said as she pulled Chrissy in for a hug. “Thank you. I owe you one, okay?”
“Don't worry about it. Just enjoy your alone time with Eddie.”
Nancy got them checked in just as the guys entered carrying their bags.
“Steve, you're sharing with Chrissy if that's alright with you,” she said as she passed Chrissy her room key.
“I am?” That certainly wasn't the sleeping arrangement he'd expected.
“The room has two beds, and she's already agreed to it. You're allowed to say no though.”
“If it's fine with Chrissy, it's fine with me.”
“Perfect. We'll see you two in the morning for breakfast then.”
With that, Nancy started to make her way towards her room pulling a very confused looking Eddie behind her.
“So, are you actually okay with this, or do I need to make you put another dollar in the jar?” he asked once the other couple was gone.
“We shared a bed last night, Steve. I'm past being uncomfortable with sharing a room with you. Besides, it'll be just like our first night at the motel. The only difference is that we don't have to share our beds or listen to Eddie snoring.”
“Fair enough.”
They made their way to their room, and Chrissy called dibs on the first shower the second Steve had set down their bags. She wanted nothing more than to wash the sand and salt water out of her hair and put on some comfier clothes, and she wanted to do it as soon as possible.
When she'd finished in the bathroom, Steve took his turn which left her to think about their sleeping arrangements. To her, it was clear which bed Steve had claimed for himself. He'd set his bags at the foot of the first bed, and Chrissy's belongings were set on the second. She could easily accept this and climb into her own bed while he was in the bathroom.
But Nancy's voice was in the back of her head reminding her that all she had to do was take an opportunity to let Steve know that she was open to him making the first move. And what better way to let him know that than to be sitting on his bed when he came back into the room? And even if he didn't make a move and all they did was cuddle like they had the night before, that was still better than nothing at all. Maybe it was a little bit more bold than she was used to being, but she couldn't let herself sit on the sidelines while her life happened around her. She had to take charge in the little ways she could or else nothing was going to change.
So, without giving it another thought, she climbed onto Steve's bed and tried to make herself look casual as she flipped through instagram stories on her phone. Forget the fact that she was a bundle of nerves about how he was going to react to this. She could be cool and casual.
When Steve exited the bathroom and saw Chrissy lounging on his bed, he stopped in his tracks. He hadn't been expecting that from her after she'd made a point out of saying that they didn't have to share their beds that night. Yet there she was sitting on the bed that he'd claimed as if that was the most obvious place for her to be.
He was almost afraid to comment on it because he didn't want to scare her away. So, instead of saying anything, he just grabbed his bags and moved them over to the other bed. Then, he climbed onto the first bed to sit next to Chrissy.
“I don't know if you noticed,” he started. “But I kinda thought this was my bed.”
“I noticed. I just happened to decide that I wanted this bed, too. And I believe I recall a certain someone telling me that I was allowed to want things.”
Steve let out a laugh and smirked over at her.
“Careful, Chrissy. First, you invade my tent. Now, you're taking over my bed for the second night in a row. I'm starting to think you might have some ulterior motives here.”
She could have told him that she was hoping he'd take the hint, but she couldn't bring herself to make that final push. Instead, she playfully pushed his shoulder which only led to him pushing her back, and soon they were in a full on elbow war. Then, Steve got in one perfectly placed poke to Chrissy's side that left her giggling and squirming away from him. The same mischievous smile from earlier lit up his face again as he turned his full attention towards her.
“You know, I never did get back at you for ignoring our truce last night.”
“You wouldn't dare.” Chrissy's eyes went wide as she started to curl in on herself in anticipation.
“Oh, but I would.”
He was poised to strike, but before he could, she started laughing without him even touching her.
“Now, this is adorable,” he said with a wiggle of his fingers in her direction. All he had to do was hover his hands over her and act like he was about to touch her to elicit a ticklish reaction from her.
“Cut it out,” she said between her giggles as she tried to block his hands.
“Cut what out?” he asked. “I'm not even touching you.”
“You know what.”
She squeaked as he feigned moving to squeeze her hips, and she curled up even more in a failed attempt to shield herself.
Meanwhile, in the hallway, Eddie was trying to listen to what was happening in their room.
“Eddie, what are you doing?” Nancy asked when she exited her own room and saw him.
“C’mon. Aren't you curious about what they're doing in there? All I can hear is Chrissy laughing though, and we both know Steve isn't that funny.” he asked.
“Not enough to be pervy about it like you are right now. Get back in here and leave them alone.”
Back inside, Steve was about to tickle her for real when he heard voices outside their room that he was pretty sure were Eddie and Nancy. He paused his playful torture and signaled for Chrissy to be quiet with a finger pressed to his lips before getting out of the bed and creeping towards the door with her following close behind him. He waited a moment to make sure he could still hear them before banging on the door which earned him a very loud “fuck!” from whoever was on the other side.
“Good night, Eddie!” Chrissy called out.
They heard Nancy apologize on Eddie's behalf, and once he was certain they were gone, Steve turned his attention back towards Chrissy.
“Now, where were we?” he asked.
“Well, I think I was thinking of taking a late night stroll.” She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to shield all of her tickle spots from him.
“Really?” he asked. “Because I was thinking we were doing something else.”
He didn't give her a chance to run. He was quick, and he was able to pick her up and gently toss her back on the bed before she even knew what was happening. She didn't try to get away though. She just laid there giggling in anticipation as he climbed back onto the bed.
There was a moment as he climbed over her where he was struck with just how well they seemed to fit together. It would have been so easy for him to just lean down and kiss her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want the story of their first kiss to be that they were in bed and it just happened. Chrissy was special. She deserved better than that. And even if that wasn't the case, he didn't want her to think that he was trying to pressure her into doing something more. He could wait another day to kiss her. For now, he could be content with another tickle fight and hopefully another night of her snuggling up to him for comfort.
***
When Steve woke up the next morning, he was sad to find his bed empty. After Chrissy had surrendered in their tickle fight, neither of them had really been all that tired, so they'd put on a movie and ended up falling asleep cuddling again. But now, she wasn't in his bed, and he missed that warm and fuzzy feeling he'd had waking up next to her the day before. There was barely any light in the room, so he figured it had to be fairly early. Maybe she'd only gotten up to use the bathroom, and she was going to be coming back to snuggle up to him any minute now.
A quick glance around the room told him that wasn't the case. Chrissy was sitting on the window seat with her head tilted to rest against the glass. She looked deep in thought, and she was slightly illuminated by the beginnings of the sunrise. He didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful girl in his life. No one could ever hope to compare the way that Chrissy looked to him now.
He pushed himself out of bed to ask her to come back to get some more sleep with him, and moved to sit next to her on the window seat, but she spoke before he could make his request.
“I wish that we could stay in this moment forever.”
Her voice was barely even a whisper. So quiet that it made him question if he was actually supposed to hear her. He did though. He heard her, and he realized that he was wishing for the same thing, too.
So, instead of making his request, he opened his arms for her. She moved to sit on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her as she leaned back against his chest.
Sitting there with Steve, Chrissy felt the safest and the most content that she'd felt in a long time. And, as they sat there watching the sunrise together, she knew what she had to do. Today was going to be the day she told him how she felt. If it wasn't painfully obvious to him already, she had to let him know. Before the day was through, she was determined to open her heart to Steve Harrington.
#cheerscoops#harringham#stissy#steve x chrissy#chrissy x steve#steve harrington x chrissy cunningham#chrissy cunningham x steve harrington#my writing#wyptif#steve harrington#chrissy cunningham
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I'm a different anon! I keep forgetting to sign asks, but I'm the one who sent the tom and Jeff internalized caniblism shame thing a while ago!
I think It'd be really funny if people started wondering who this new mod that always seems to be online was then rumors started to spread that Jeff is Like this mysterious serial killer cannibal that hasn't been caught yet. Some people on the site especially new members think it's true and that Jeff recorded the dealing with the bodies in the basement and secretly hid it up on the site somewhere.
(Chris and Zach thought this at first and stayed up on Skype pulling an all nighter to find it)
The other half treat it as Like an ironic jerma or tomar thing, he's lowkey become an inside joke.
That's what catches Dave's attention. Dave started Writing silly cannibal stories as a joke and everyone fucking hated them because they where purposely annoying. But Jeff sees that over time Dave's getting better at Writing and drawing comics. It becomes kinda endearing to him even when he uses Jeff's whole username in half of his stuff. Jeff starts by leaving 1 word responses to his posts but then they get longer. Eventually they start private messaging and Dave ends up endearing himself to Jeff even more but poking fun at him and just barely skirting the line of too annoying.
One day Jeff starts nitpicking things on call and Dave's like “oh, well how do you know what people taste like” and Jeff just kinda let's it slip Like “how do you think” and then just instantly clamps just when he realizes what he said. And Dave realizes from his side of the call and starts processing that he meant it and is like “YOU ACTUALLY ATE SOMEONE”. Jeff tries to back peddle but it's too late.
He doesn't want to talk about it so Dave just keeps joking about it even though he doesn't know Jeff's tragic survival cannibalism backstory. Some of this actually turns sexual when Dave's like “what are you gonna do eat me?” And Jeff starts imaging overpowering him and breaking his arms before cutting him. They start secretly engaging in canibal role play and its exhilarating for jeff but he always gets the worst post nut clarity.
Eventually he panics and goes to Tom spilling what he's done and that he's a terrible person who abused mod privileges to get close to dave. Tom just tells him to chill out because like 90% of this forum is just fetish stuff and their both adults. So his thing with dave just continues and when he starts to get close to stamper and mic He considers telling them above dave.
He can't stop thinking about Dave, every single day he thinks about overpowering him, raping him, eating him. He doesn't even want to share the meat. He feels terrible. He doesn't want Dave to die because he's amusing, he does want to meet him though but has no idea if he'll be able to control himself.
(I'm very sleepy and get up in 6 hours so forgive me if this makes no since I wrote it quick in Google docs)
-I accidentally did something to my phone settings and I can't find emojis, this is the blue guy's hat/cap guy. My Tumblrs ijustwannatalk69 but I'll probably change it soon when I have time.
DUUUDE. IM JUST GONNA POST THIS. THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS GOOOOOD.
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I really love your characters and stories! Do you have a toyhou.se or af account for me to take a look at? I’d send you more asks about your world building but I never know what to say or I end up sleepy lol
thank you so much anon ^^
unfortunately I don't really have any good places to look into the lore of my characters ^^' I have a toyhouse but I haven't updated it in years and I never really added bios anyways lol, I'm in the process of making a neocities cite that I would eventually like to have fully fitted out with pages for my various oc worlds, but thats going to be a long time off. your best bet would be to go through my 'my ocs' or 'my art' tag on tumblr but mileage may very
when in doubt, I'll never turn down asks that are just 'share a random oc fact?' other broad questions, or any question at all really! I love talking about ocs
oh I guess I can technically use this post to boost my two interactive fiction games I'm slowly but surely writing huh? check out @faerie-market-if and @whenbodiescollide ! they're a fantasy romance and a gothic horror romance respectively!
buut just for ease of access here's a bit of a crash course under the cut!
The vast majority of my ocs aren't in any connected world. Doc and Para and my various tieflings and fursonas exist more or less in a vaccum (I've toyed with the idea of creating my own worldbuilding for a dnd fantasy world for my dnd ocs, but haven't actually done it yet). The two Big Worlds with lore and over arching characters are the World of Loam and the Superhero world
World of Loam is a post apocalyptic world built on the backs of dead beast gods that are slowly waking up and regaining power. This world is inspired by the likes of adventure time and the magnus archives, and is the home of Dr. Jackal and their assistant Jackrabbit!
Superhero world is basically what it sounds like- a decent chunk of the population have superpowers and an exploration of the abusive power structures that creates. This is the home of Dr. Griffin and his many villain personas, Maxium Overdrive the speedster hero, Lab Rat and her A.I. D.A.N.! I might also throw Para and Doc in this universe, to be seen
Doc and Para are just about my only other OCs with a properly flushed out backstory. Para is a parasidic alien piloting a human corpse who fell in love with humanity over their stay and Doc was a biologist specializing in gene manipulation who was fired from his major corp job after his research got a bit Too unethical even for the ethics board but they stole his research anyways after they fired him, prompting him to start self experimenting and turn to villainy to try and expose his former employers
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Since you really seem to love Sherlock fanfiction, I wondered if you did ever write something yourself? And would like to share it with us? 😊 Sorry, I'm curious. 😂
Hey Nonny!
No, don't be sorry, I'm honoured!
Yes, I actually have! My first forays into fandoms WAYYYYYYY back in the 90's was writing fanfiction for the Sonic Fandom (I am the author of the Metallic Touch Series, if any of y'all are still around and are now here). These days I stick to little ficlets when I do write, for multiple fandoms (the one I'm actively TRYING to finish is a Red Dwarf fic) and I have published a few on Ao3 (I have a few more ficlets on Tumblr I haven't published yet but they are on my google drive to edit and post). I do write off and on here and there, and it sounds weird, but I don't really promote my own work because it makes me feel bad (I know, hypocritical of me to tell everyone to promote their stuff, but not me, hah). That and I genuinely don't believe people like them.
I want to eventually write a meta-fic for S4 based on the Secret Episode ficlet I wrote years ago. I've been planning it for years, but my self-esteem is shit and motivation is zero.
Anyway, since you asked (and thank you for asking, I'm legit humbled and honoured), here are the ones I've currently published and links to the tumblr posts of ones I haven't posted on Ao3 yet (they will be eventually, I just nitpick so much edits that after drafting to Ao3, I end up losing it because I keep picking at it (drafts save for only a month), hence the google docs now):
I-J's JOHNLOCK FICS
See also:
Untitled/Not-on-Ao3 First Kiss Ficlet
Untitled/Not-on-Ao3 Hudders POV Caught in the Act Ficlet (this is the next one I plan on publishing, but I keep nitpicking it)
Not-on-Ao3 "The Secret Episode" Ficlet Snippet
And my first unfinished smutfic has been drafted on Tumblr for over 2 or 3 years... if you're interested in reading it, let me know, I'll try to actually finish it and post it.
And not Johnlock, but I have written a published Megamind fic on FFNet, After Shock.
My Sonic fics are no longer online, as far as I know, and got wiped when Crosswinds wiped all of their free users' websites. I have them somewhere on a harddrive.
Soft. Happy. Content. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 223 w., 1 Ch. || Sleepy Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Spooning, Morning After, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock reflects on his state of mind. Part 6 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
Do You Wanna Study Together? by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 824 w., 1 Ch. || Kidlock || POV Sherlock, Different First Meeting, Fluff) – All he wanted to do was to be left alone and study in peace. Part 1 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
The Healing Touch by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 2,307 w., 1 Ch. || Caretaking, Domestic Fluff, Stroppy Sherlock, John Loves Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sofa Cuddles, Insecure Sherlock) – Sherlock's broken his foot and he's becoming unbearably stroppy. Good thing John has the healer's touch... ;) Part 3 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
Corn Dog Daddy by inevitably_johnlocked (M, 2,719 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock POV, Fluff and Crack, Corn Dogs, Fairgrounds, Coming In Pants, Euphemisms, Military Kink, Flirting, Sexy John, BAMF John, Smol Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock and John wind down after a case in a small town at a county fair. Sherlock's imagination goes awry as John's sexiness drives him crazy. Also: John knows how to handle a meat stick. Part 2 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection
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