#I'll never be over ToddBlack

[respectthepetty]

If there is one way I was going to accept Sing coming between the GL couple in Us, that way was wet.

Because a wet Sing only reminds me of one thing and one thing only.

And that's the way I like him.

[toomoonfic]

AO3 Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @dimplesandfierceeyes! I really enjoyed this trip down memory lane.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So across my main account (jjjat3am, toomoon, boneflower, yvenger) + my hockey account (savedby), I've somehow managed 283 works.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

901 767 words. Getting closer to that million, huh.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ah, tricky question. Right now I'm writing mostly in the Thai BL fandom, if I can label it that way. According to my dashboards, I've written across 59 different fandoms.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. you're not a ghost (I'm not afraid of you) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 2. safe (right here in your arms) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 3. devil is in the details - KinnPorsche, VegasPete 4. how does a penguin build his house? - Hockey RPF, Crosby/Malkin 5. this life (all I know) - Black Panther, M'Baku/Killmonger

Is it weird that I didn't realize that my KinnPorsche fics had gotten so much traction? But I guess it just proves what a huge fandom that was that a rare pairing got over 2k kudos in the case of ghost.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I feel like communication with your reader is integral to building your community, and that's why I'm grateful to everyone that reaches out to me. I've noticed that I don't do it as much when my mental health takes a nosedive, which is why I still owe people replies from last year. I'm still doing it, but I hope it's not weird that people are getting replies like a year later.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm fairly allergic to angsty endings, so it took me a while of searching to get something that might fit this criteria. I'll go with some things never change, which is an Almost Human fanfic, so that's a definite throwback. It features robot death and I remember I exorcised some demons with it for sure.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much everything else? Just looking at some of the last things I've posted, holding on to patience (like a sunrise) my DBD fic was pretty much a typical Julija happy ending. In general that story is a very typical Julija fic start to finish.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not anymore, thank fuck. I did have a stalker back when I started posting hockey fic, that's why I made a whole other account, but that seems to have died down.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I've written 12 explicit fics in total, which is just funny when you think about it. The conditions have to really be perfect for me to be able to produce, and when I do, weirdly, it's mostly like, awkward handjobs I guess. I haven't mastered the art of the smut fic yet and likely never will.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Don't do this to me. There's only one fic I've posted that I'm genuinely embarrassed to speak about and this is it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! It's always a joy.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! Take a Chance on Me was written with @zevons and it's so close to my heart. I've done a bunch of collabs and I love them all, not just for the story but just for the connection with another author.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This is also a difficult question for someone as disloyal as me...

I think ToddBlack has such a hold on me to this day, and it's still not totally let me go, so I'll go with that, their dynamic is so compelling to me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

on the bridge between water and clay is never getting another chapter unless I decide that I'm really into Naruto again, which, okay, stranger things have happened I suppose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm just the funniest person who's ever picked up a pen, personally. Strangely some people don't agree?? Weird.

I don't know, I never have a witty answer to this particular question, so funny is what I default to, because the funny moments in my fics are the ones that always stay most memorable to me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, descriptions for sure. Things like setting and what people are wearing, and the little details that really transport you to the place in a story. I don't really notice details like that in every day life so there's nothing I can base this on to improve myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have many thoughts, I try to generally avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it must have been Lord of the Rings.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I posted hung from ladders last year and I'd have to say it's my favorite thing that I've written in a very long time. It's a horror fic I suppose, but at its core it's a story about grief and how you deal with it, and I think in so many ways I was more honest in it than I anticipated I would be. I love it for what it represented for me in that moment but I also love that while not that many people read it, I think that it really impacted the people that did and through that I really felt that sense of community that I hadn't really felt in a long time.

I don't really connect with that many people on this website, so I'm not up to date on who writes and who doesn't, but I'm tagging a few people anyway, hopefully this isn't one you've done before:

@tungtung-thanawat, @mightymightygnomepriest @grasspetty @returning-spring

[justafriend-ql]

Thai BL Favorites List Tag Game

thank you to the lovely @firstkanaphans for tagging me! the original prompt list was created by @thatgirl4815. let's get into it!

(note: i'll try my best to not make this entire list about never let me go, but you know who i am)

favorite bl: never let me go (nobody is surprised) it's unique, innovative, the first gmmtv bl series based on an original script rather than adapted from a novel. the lovechild of cringe 90s thai action dramas and BL tropes that p'jojo flirts with or fucks with depending on how he's feeling. palm and nueng live in my head 24/7 and the cinematography of the series drove me to learn how to make gifs (something i would not recommend you do if you value your freetime lol)

favorite pairing: palmnueng :) power imbalance, social expectations, and simmering sexual tension that all breaks loose at the seashore. duty turned to devotion and loneliness turned to love. two 18-year-olds whose life circumstances couldn't be more different yet find mirror images of their own insecurities and lack of self-worth in each other. clinging onto each other only to let go in the name of love. but always returning to each other, their other half, their soulmate. literally everything i could ever want in a pair. bonus: they kiss each other like they actually want to.

most underrated actor: sing! he's great in comedic roles (had me wheezing with laughter in unidentified mysterious girlfriend). but completely slayed as todd in not me. toddblack scenes make me genuinely sick. i would love to see more of him in dark dramas. also you really just have to respect his dedication. he survived infamous early series like slamdance (he was paired with drake) and put his whole pussy into the puppy play in warp effect.

favorite character: palm pannakorn jannaloy my most beloved boy. breaks my heart and heals it at the same time. he's just such a fundamentally good, kind person. and pretty much nothing in his life makes that easy. eternally self-sacrificing, without much love for himself but so so much love for others. even when they leave him behind. look! the very first gif i ever made was of him - see below and kindly disregard the quality.

favorite side character: pa jindapat out of all the series i've watched, pa is probably the character i relate to the most. that's why she's my pfp! i love her messy buns and glasses and over-sized t-shirts. she just feels very real in all her interactions with pat and her cluelessness about her very big crush on ink. the little tremble in her voice in the dark room scene when she tells ink "i liked it. i liked it so much i thought that i was special to you" makes me tear up. she's funny and she's bold and she holds her ground and i love her. very much.

favorite scene: the farewell dance - never let me go, episode 9 there's no dialogue. just music. grief-stricken palm and nueng dancing slowly, somberly in a motel room palm will wake up alone in the next morning. nueng knows he's leaving; deep down, palm probably knows too. their steps slow and palm seeks comfort in a kiss that quickly turns desperate because they're both hurting and the only thing that will numb the pain is each other. the feeling of tears running down palm's face forces nueng to pull away. the look on nueng's face as he wipes palm's tears away is possibly my favorite thing phuwin has ever done. he looks so goddamn heartbroken and guilty, because nueng feels like palm's brokenness is his fault. also one of my favorite performances from pond - and he was in the hospital earlier that day!!

favorite line: "i love you. and i want you to love yourself too." ayan to akk; the eclipse, episode 12, part 1/4. speaks for itself i think.

most anticipated bl and why: dangerous romance although i'm definitely excited for only friends, i have a soft spot for underdogs and this series seems like one (especially if it airs at the same time as only friends). i love perth especially and both chimon and him are crazy talented actors. i hope despite the silly title of the series, the script gives them something good to work with. and i hope that "i hate you" kiss in the rain from the pilot is better in the actual series lmao. the bts photos are making me super excited! also: viewjune let's gooooooo

healthiest relationship in a bl: heartliming these two make me cry. really just the epitome of finding a safe space in another person and providing them with a safe space in yourself. everything about them is beautiful. the amount of effort and care they put into learning how to communicate with each other is incredible. i love that they fight alongside each other. and: "i love it when i'm with him" - sometimes it's really as simple as that.

most toxic relationship in a bl: going to second @firstkanaphans here and say tharntype this almost feels like a cop-out because it's so obvious, but it's true. nothing will ever excuse the things tharn did to type without his consent, and type's internalized and externalized homophobia wasn't dealt with satisfactorily in my opinion. there are good kernels in every story, but the bad overwhelmed the few good ones in this series for me.

guilty pleasure series: love by chance guilty because it's mame and i don't love how aggressive they make ae (the sweetest, gentlest boy) toward the end. to be honest i skipped everything except for the aepete scenes when i watched this so i can't comment on the rest. but i often find myself returning to episode 4, in particular, because ae's feelings realization journey is lovely and soft and seeing baby perth and saint is always a treat. i liked it enough to gif it, so...

bonus! most underrated series: my only 12% created this bonus category so i can beg you to watch this one if you haven't. trust me and suffer through the bad haircuts and slow burn. i knew it was different from other series when seeiw cries while watching a queer movie with his sister, recognizing his own feelings onscreen, then sneaks downstairs to watch the rest by himself in tears later that night. that experience is so fucking real. this series seared me with its portrayal of the nostalgia and grief of childhood friendships and eventual separation, and the role reversal post-reunion is so well done it makes me insane. i was sobbing in my room at 4am and that's the best review i can give a series.

i had a lot of fun doing this and i hope if you read to this point you got... well, something, out of it. tagging @cankersoregirl @first-kanaphan @feralmuskyscentedhoepran @akkpipitphattana @ayan-sukkhapisit @nongnaos and anyone else who may like to do this!

[sherrymagic]

For the QL asks: 5, 18 & 20. Thank you! 💜💜

thank you so much Jane for these, had a lot of fun (especially with number 18, was hoping someone would ask for that one aaaaa) 🩷

5. Who is the Asian ql villain you most love to hate?

one of the very few villains that i actually hate, and i love to hate him because he makes sense, he feels like he's well written, nuanced in his story villain nature, and that's what makes the hate so strong and real. i can see what he's doing and why and he still manages to surprise me with his behavior while still totally seeing where it's coming from, so i can hate him for the reasons i love to hate on a character for. also Mek is hot and funny which helps with the love part of this hdbsnsm

18. You get to pick a side character from two different qls to put in a show as a main pairing--who are you choosing and what kind of story is it?

had at least 4 options here but i'll keep the others in case anyone else asks for this question and i choose to go with a gl crackship that's totally not based on the way my souls craves for a CiizeEarn pairing in a lesbian romcom

SOOOO i would love for Charoen to finally get rid of Ton's obnoxious presence and go to a college fair where surprise suprise there's this girl that she initially mistakes for her friend's sister Alpha because they look so much alike (always hated the doppelganger trope but this is different because i say so) but quickly realizes it's not her. Charoen wants to choose a practical major or maybe religious/esoteric related one with the thought of following up her own family's footsteps but finds it hard to leave the art stand being somewhat enchanted by Fai's presence. the two of them end up talking at the end of the fair and Charoen expresses interest in the art major despite never taking it into proper consideration before. time goes by and she doesn't really see Fai again but she keeps often resurfacing in her mind until she starts college herself and despoite going for some other faculty she still chose the same university just because she wanted to geta chance to see her again. they actually do meet again and Fai is very busy with third year stuff and always tired but still manages to give her her support every time they meet. Charoen ends up signing up for some art related club that Fai is hosting at university, they spend more and more time together for some project related to decorating the uni or making a mural or something, the point is whatever this club is doing should lead to the gl version of the Elu (Skam France) paint scene. for reference, this is what i'm talking about:

lesbians making out covered in paint, can you imagine that?? no clear idea about the conflict but canon 23.5 told us Charoen is in the bi/pan spectrum while Fai so far had no indication reguarding not being straight, so there could be either family drama or gay crisis involved. all i know it's romcom shaped with some angsty but not too heavy parts, girls being pretty criers, fights on empty streets at night, almost breakup, and super happy ending. meaningful cameos of 23.5 and We Are characters are well accepted in this imaginary show.

20. We are retelling your favorite Asian ql from the POV of a side character--who is taking over the story and what do they have to say about the mains?

this one is hard because i don't even know which one my fave would be? the one i would ove the most to be retold in another character's perspective would be Only Friends but i wouldn't call that one a fave of mine lmao. so of the ones within my faves list... Not Me would be interesting from my favorite bitch boy Todd's pov, for the way the show was built i've always felt like they could have showed and say more about him. a ToddBlack past romance that the main characters from the original show never knew about would also fit. the novel isn't really helping with forming an idea here because reading that one revealed that the show surprisingly did a lot of things better queer erasure aside so... i'm leaving this at that bsdsnskd

— Asian QL Ask Game ♡

[fanfictionroxs]

A little analysis on who is the bigger meow meow between Black and Wei Wuxian. All blame goes to this post by @bl-bracket for making me go nuts and write all this 😅 Here we go:

On one hand, Black was betrayed by his own friend and was injured heavily and entered a freaking coma because of said betrayal. On the other hand, Wei Wuxian was dead for 13 years because he was betrayed and killed by his own brother. But since Black has taken his revenge on Todd (and confessed hehehheh) and he still has his brother, things are looking better for him. Because Wei Wuxian has Lan Wangji, but he'll never be able to reconcile with Jiang Cheng since he murdered A-Yuan's entire family. And when that shit hits the fan (and it will because no way in HELL will Sizhui let the murderers get away with this injustice), even Lan Wangji might have to leave his brother and sect since they're all responsible for the slaughter. Or they might both lose their son.

Now back to Black.. his troubles aren't over yet of course because even though Todd might be the love of his life/best friend, he's still a bad guy who stands on the unethical side. It's going to bring major troubles in Black's life and there's a bit of a parallel there with ToddBlack and WangXian since there was a time when Lan Wangji was on the wrong side. Yes, he didn't actively hurt the Wen remnants or Wei Ying, but silence/inaction of a good man is worse than being outright evil and stuff. Wei Wuxian refused to join the wrong side and Black is the same. No relationship can shake their morals (god damnit I love them both so much for this), so Todd will either have to do a Lan Wangji and join Black in walking the single plank road or they'll remain separated forever.

But one very important thing is that Black has White and for both of them that's enough. They complete each other in a way that Todd and Sean never will be able to do for them, though of course those two have a very high place in their respective twin's heart. Another thing is that Black never yearned for parental validation (and if he ever did then his mother did a good job destroying those feelings) while Wei Wuxian was always in control of his so called 'mother'. Both Black and Wei Wuxian were victims of emotional abuse by their mothers especially, but Black was able to move on from it while it still effects Wei Wuxian probably because he never got the unconditional support from his brother that Black got from White. They were like a team united against their parents' abuse since childhood and sure codependancy and stuff, but still it provided them an emotional security that made breaking away from their parents much easier even when the brothers were apart from each other.

Yeah so I'll have to give this round to Wei Wuxian. He's definitely the bigger meow meow 😢

[transwegath]

Tag people you want to get to know better

Thank you to @ladymcres and @toppingjeffsatur I'm very honored ❣️

three ships:

Vegaspete. you know them. You love them probably if you're on my account. They're the most obsessive, codependent, devoted mfs out there and they are always on my mind. They're the most unhinged pair on the planet with such a weird complex relationship that anyone else would've broken up or never got together?? But because they're Vegas and Pete it just comes naturally to them. They thrive in their weird fucked up little world.

ToddBlack. Such little screentime but the IMPACT they had on me. I want a whole series about how they fell in love, eventually turning sour when Todd won't follow Black on his crusade against the elite, landing them in a bitter love/hate relationship where they fuck nasty and then Black says he wishes he never met Todd but he doesn't really mean it. He'll always come back to Todd and always choose this weird thing with Todd over more sensible options.

Dongsik/Joowon. Have I finished Beyond Evil? No. Do I fully believe Joowon wants to get down with Dongsik? Yes. Dongsik has dilf energy and Joowon has daddy issues they're a perfect match. Let Joowon fuck the old man!! Like at the very least just to piss off his shitstain father

first ever ship: Johnlock. No I won't talk about it.

last song: Louder than bombs by BTS

last movie: I haven't watched a movie in like. Months. It was probably Glass Onion though

currently watching: Beyond Evil, Island, Between Us, The Untamed.

currently reading: the final chapter of Yours and Mine by the lovely @raelle-writing just. Such a wonderful VegasPete fic. Uh haven't read a real book in like 84 years sorry :( it's the ADHD

currently consuming: water 🌊💦🌧️🧊🍶

currently craving: some gottamn motivation to write fic

As always idk who has done this so I'll be tagging some chill moots and no pressure at all!!: @sapphicblight @thisautistic @bi-wuxian @thoresque @kinnbig @aikinn

[fandork]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

i've done this one here:

but i guess some answers are different by now, so it'll be fun for a second go.

tagged by @saturnskyline and @mightymightygnomepriest thank you both! :)

Three Ships

Classics Edition:

Kuramiyu (Daiya no Ace)

DaveKat (Homestuck)

TimKonBart (DC)

First Ever Ship

that's still palletshipping.

Last Song

Venom -- Stray Kids

Last Movie

still Everything Everywhere. i don't watch movies often.

Currently Reading

now I'm really being guilted into starting Rhythm of War.

Currently Watching

waiting on new shows to start airing to replace the ones that just finished. this is the shortest my watchlist has been in over a year.

Ameiro Paradox

Gap

My School President

Never Let Me Go

The Warp Effect

Weak Class Hero 1

Currently Consuming

water

Currently Craving

i! am! getting ice cream later! (i want it now.)

Tagging:

i wimped out on tagging the last time because i think most people have done it already, but i mean, i'm doing it twice, so why not? feel free to ignore! @pharawee @liyazaki @burritosong @too-raph @springkitten @smyx @paalove @jagged1 @emberfaye

[petrichoraline]

Hi Petri! For the ship bingo, could you do AkkAyan and ToddBlack?

these are both ships i don't encounter daily so my memories are a bit blurry, i have the habit of being "meh" when i hear about a couple that i'd been losing my shit over months prior lol i guess it has to do with the amount of ships i go through monthly hahah

but let's get into it!

i feel i have to explain myself on this one because they're everyone's faves - i was really into them for the first half of the show so i remember i had very intense feelings bout them as a pair, i was also actively losing it in the later episodes so my overall impression of the show tainted my view of the ship and time just blurred the good memories, that's how i see it at least

with "never have to see them again" i meant i don't mind not seeing them anymore that much, not that i actively want to avoid them lol

i could've marked the last one solely cause of my reaction to that one bed scene in the middle of the show lmao

but yeah, akkayan are powerful af and maybe i should rewatch some of their scenes soon ☀️🌑

onto the complex couple

i don't read fics usually but this option on the card seemed appealing for the first time, i simply need to delve more into them and their dynamic, the show didn't give me nearly enough 😒 they strive for the same things but their beliefs on how to achieve it are clashing in such fundamental ways and they have so many unspoken truths in-between them, what would i give to see black open up!! they need to work it out and i need to see it! i need someone to bring their A game to the writing table and create a season 2 so compelling and black-centered that by the end of it we collectively forget seanwhite were ever the main couple 🔥 i'll act in it myself as every single character aside from toddblack if that's what they need, it'd just be me, gun and sing acting our butts off and everyone would love it regardless because everybody and their mom wants toddblack to happen soo desperatelyy or, y'know, im projecting 💞 all love to ppl who don't like them ofc your ships are valid too.. it's just that i personally am smitten by their frustrating nature and "feisty chihuahua/fancy bulldog" dynamic 💓 and a lot of others are in the same clown car as me, waiting for any crumbs gmm would throw at us :')

thank you so so much for the ask, hope it wasn't a disappointing answer, esp if these are your faves 🌼

[respectthepetty]

Todd loves Black and knows it.

That's why he was hurt when Black told him to kill him.

That's why he could never kill Black.

That's why he was upset that Black rarely visited and when he did, he was injured.

That's why when he saw Black instead of White standing in front of him, he smiled.

That's why he always smiled.

That's why he wanted to give Black the world.

That's why he let him in each time.

That's why he told the guards to leave.

Black loves Todd but doesn't know it.

That's why he couldn't.

[fanfictionroxs]

Another toddblack wip that I'll publish, god knows when:

Todd is tired of being thwarted by Black and the gang again and again. He's also miserable over not being together together with Black. So he makes a wish... that Black might have been different and that their morals didn't misalign so much.

And he gets his wish, but in a messed up way. Todd ends up travelling to an alternate universe where Black is 'evil'. His mother loves him BUT he will murder her in the future for separating him from his twin. White, who is also 'evil' in this au (because these twins might be opposites, but their core morals will always be aligned) will kill their father who adores his son. The two reunite after a satisfactory brother bonding trip consisting of parenticide.

And Todd... wants to go home. In this universe, his friendship with the twins is intact, but it's not what he wants at all. It feels like there's ants crawling under his skin when he sees that haughty expression on Black's face, when Black laughs at the protests shown on the tv, when Black shoots a man in the face with no remorse. This face, which is exactly like his beloved's, the exact same.. and yet makes Todd feel like the world, the universe itself, is all wrong.

Because Black is not supposed to be.. bad.

Because Black's goodness? His Black's goodness and his inherent need to help their society? That wasn't some magical thing that sprouted in him. No, it had been a part of Black since a young age and it showed itself in the little things. When Black would get rid of bullies or when Black would treat the waiters like humans instead of how kids from Black and Todd's background generally did. Or when Black shouted at his mother for underpaying the house staff or when Black got angry at the school administration or when Black showed up at Todd's house talking about human rights with earnest eyes that shined with honesty.

And Todd found that he was in love with that honesty and the rage inside Black that burned hot and hard to heal the world.. He loved all those things. They infuriated him... but he loved them nonetheless.

Todd didn't know what that said about him, loving a good man and loving his traits that Todd generally opposed.

All he knew was that he wanted to go home, back to Black.. His Black. The one wearing clothes from flea markets that he carried better than models, the one with the ratty apartment he shared with his brother, the one with the angry eyes that never stopped looking at Todd with a hint of desperation, shining with unshed tears and love that made him forgive, that made him never give up on Todd... Because his Black always came back, no matter how bad things got between them. Todd could always count on the ding of his elevator coming to a stop at his floor and opening it's doors to present Black to him.

And now it was his turn to return to Black.