#I'll love her till my dying breath and I will never love another as deeply as I love her

[rosalie-starfall]

Happy Birthday Miranda Richardson

Saturday Night Live - Mar 20, 1993

[shotos-kettle]

Trigger warning! Please dont read if youre easily triggered!

I'll hold you till my last dying breath" 

The words were something akin to a daydream within every person's mind, something held dear within their hearts yet so longing to reach out for such a thing would be considered unjust. said only in ones time of true need for another, the words held such deep, woeful meaning only compared to that of a cliched untruthful yet oh so desirable romance novel the youth seek out so needily.

Unknowing, however, the words they seek only go so far.  Tearful rejections, heady words within enclosed, dimly lit spaces. A parting of ways one would call heart wrenching in their young age but in reality they will move on in a matter of a few silent days concealed in deep thought and realization. For some that truth never comes within their own headspace, they cling to those sickeningly delicate words thrown around so carelessly. Taking them in with each gasp of air, holding on so tightly it begins to suffocate their own soul.

Some may escape, and yet some will cling so desperately to something unreal that it just nearly destroys their entire being. Whether it is said by a lover, or a friend, the simple exasperated actions of using such thickly spoken words in someone's time of true need can seem like the reasonable thing one could do for the ones they deeply care about although it doesn't always end the way one would plan things out.

When finally as someone finally experiences the true tragedy of life's hateful grasp they come to realize they didn't hold on as truly tightly as they should have. A body held against a strong chest as his dear friend lay near limp in his grasp, breath so shallow one could almost say she was already gone. The tears of someone spinning into that inevitably people are so afraid to accept in their daily routines as they go about their day, watching on in feigned concern, whispers amongst a sea of hypocrites and beggars as a man experiences the true meanings of what life is to a world that keeps moving forward no matter how much humanity clings to their day to day.

Crippling regret follows behind yearnful wishing as the flashing of red and blue blur through his peripheral, sights only set on what matters most to him in this very moment. Strands of chocolate brown once silky and fragrant now but a simple mop of tangled knots wrapped around fingers that refuse to let go. The sounds of sirens dulling out thoughts of pleads to a god one thought had existed but now began to give silent and frightening nothingness. 

"Let me go"

A plea of help, a simple statement with so many hidden meanings, no sane human being truly wants anyone to let go, there's always a longing to be sought after, to be wanted and thought of in a way one wouldn't want to do anything but cling to a thought of hope. Her eyes not yet void of life as she kept her gaze tipped towards that ominous sky they once longed to reach past.

How had this come to pass? How long had it been since she had truly felt nothing at all? Why had it ended this way, on a day as dreary as today. They were to meet an hour from now, enjoy a delightful dinner together and part ways once again just as they did every week just to 'catch up' as old 'friends' do in their lives apart. She knew, He had always longed for her heart and even so she never took the chance to reciprocate those heartfelt, meaningful gestures he played off as simple jokes and jibes at her choice of past lovers. How would she use her final breath, she hadn't thought of that yet but how could someone focus on such a trivial thing while they lay dying.

"I love you, im sorry"

Faint, only caught by his ears as the light in her eyes shined for just a moment morez completely missed by his gaze as he was pried from his entanglement with her lifeless body. Whether it be seconds, or hours later the words would still linger within his mind. Pushing, tugging, and gnawing at his own consciousness. Within the next week before her family would hold her funeral he would delve into a dark headspace of regret, tearful nights of sorrow and numbing distraction. 

When the night finally passes as she is laid to rest he lingers, the last one to say goodbye as the bottle in his hand slips to the cold, rainy earth beneath her headstone wearing the very clothes he had worn the night she passed in his arms. A mind filled with too many thoughts of how something so innocent could lead to an early grave.

Under a night sky, where some would assume the two were meant to be a heart filled with such deep emotion collapsed in itself. With nothing more to his name than her own heart and soul he slipped into a nothingness in hopes to see her radiant smile that once filled his life, even if just for a moment before his own light dimmed into that cold, silent yet inevitable darkness those who know nothing of life fear. In the years to come their families will talk, knowing that he held her dear, and yet so tightly to his own self. They would speak of the love he held in his heart for her, the hopefulness that allowed him to hold onto her being till his final breath.

"I'll hold you till my last breath" 

The true meaning of love, holding on against all odds. Clinging to that simple minded hope of being one with someone else's being, even if in the end it was all meant for not.