#I'll be okay guys just need to scream into the void rn

[the5n00k]

Getting increasingly harder to get my body what it needs while doing what's expected of me <3

I tried sleeping in to combat my later free time schedule and to see if I would stop being tired

[depressedtheatrekiddo]

Reading Blue Beetle (2006) again <3

This time my thoughts while reading issues from 7 to 8 !! 🪲

(spoilers under the cut as usual ajsj)

Me when I exist (I love this shit):

+ FIELD TRIP WITH THE FAM LET'S GOOO!!

+ Jaime I love you (he's me I'm him) (how old was he during this? We might even be the same age 😌)

ALSO BRENDA IS HEREEEE!!!! HIII BRENDA 💘💕💗💞

+ Right in the old sibling issues ✋😔😭 HE ALSO CALLED HER MUNCHKIN ON THE NEXT PANEL NOBODY TOUCH ME 😭😭😭 (I promise I'm a serious person and I'll write about their relationship in deep but I'm just a silly guy rn)

+ Peacemaker is back HE'S BACK??!! Good explanation on who Peacemaker is bug guy 👍

+ BOOSTER GOLD MENTION❗❗

+ Quick kit kat but I love that all of Jaime's family and close friends know about him idk how to express it but seeing a superhero be supported by his loved ones feels so good and refreshing (besides they're all super cool and intelligent and practical)

+ Me when Batsy appears: *starts laughing with no reason*

Also this panels

Then Jaime's mom going "well if Superman asked you"

+ THE SAME TECHNOLOGY OF THE SCARAB???!!!! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT—

+ I love when the panels are like half Jaime half Blue Beetle, so sick man

+ "Blow it up" is a good tip I believe.

But also what? 🧍🏻 Can someone please explain to me what Dinah said about Ollie being upset and the poverty thing, please? :d

+ "I just want to go home" bro my sweet bug guy, I'm so sorry (JL better hide now, y'all had dared to bring Jaime into all this, now suffer the consequences)

+ NONONONONONONONNONOOOO 😭😭 pleaseplease see him see him please c'mon 😭😭😭

+ "You're heroes! Don't leave me alone!" Nobody fucking noticed? Asshats I'm gonna fucking fistfight everyone

+ STOP THIS SHIT😭😭 My bug guy I love you I'm sorry (Mili thank you I love you too <3)

Bro I swear parted panels between Jaime and the Blue Beetle fucking rule like I can fucking see him see everything again, I mean his eyes look like they do, see everything happening over and over.

+ "Dessert air" Yeah, me too Paco, me too ✋😔 (that better be a friendly hug, I don't wanna get paranoid with this but PLEASE)

+ ROAD TRIP!!!! HELL YEAAAH!!! Brenda and Jaime bickering 🫶 (Brenda kick his ass <3)

+ BAHDHSJAJS PEACEMAKER IS ON BABYSITTING DUTY RN 😌

+ Has Peacemaker just called Brenda 'Red' *has Max and Eddie flashbacks* nvm

+ FIRST SHE CALLED HER AUNT HER PARENT I'M CRYING SOMEONE GET ME OUT THE DESSERT ❗❗ ALSO LOOK AT HER SHE'S SO COOL AND SO PRETTY (I'm in love)

+ He's kinda right bug guy... (And lmao not them talking about La Dama being Brenda's aunt literally two steps away from her AVDJWNKDJS)

+ Peacemaker guy is called Dan Garett (someone give context or sum please, where does he come from (comic recs?) I think I'm gonna call him Danny 👍

+ OH MY FUCKING GODS NOT THIS CHEAP POLYPHEMUS GUY AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭 *screams into the void*

+ Bro AGDJSHJAJ Cinetico laughing at Paco for failing Spanish is real life footage of me and my best friend (Also Spanglish is what my class speaks on English time basically so)

+ Man my exact thoughts on everything (also Mili is my lil sis Istg she's the same😭)

+ So Dan is the first Blue Beetle granddaughter or sum like that okay cool(?) (not me fucking thinking it was Peacemaker lmaoo 😭😭😭)

(Brenda I love you but why GAKDBWJS)

+ Mitchell. Mitchell.

+ I'm going to collect silly Brendas on my journey through Blue Beetle issues (I can't put too much pics in just a post so I'll share her once I got a few <3)

+ Dio live reaction:

+ ARMAGGEDON?

+ "My mother didn't raise me like that. It's wrong." Okay. Okay. I'm more of a Red Hood way of thinking instead of Batsy. But I guess Jaime has his point, I respect that and I kinda love that that's his thing, like, I need to be like him and feel all the rage in a different way, to feel kinder ( love you bug guy <3)

+ Lmaooo at least they take care of the town at he end

+ Bugnuts, she said bugnuts— *wheezes*

+ Yeah, I need to hear Peacemaker's story too 👍

[nebbbula]

Serious talk:

Hey friends,

Would you look at that? It's Nebbs crawling out of her abyss!

All jokes aside, my activity's dropped off due to some personal reasons again. I don't want to lie and say I'm okay, but I don't want to dump on you guys either. For those of you who are curious about what's up, go ahead and read below the cut. For those of you who aren't in the headspace to read venting, feel free to stop here. NO ONE is responsible for my wellness but me! I just needed to write out my emotions and send them into the void, yk?

I will always love you freaky sentient machine folks ❤️❤️❤️

Anyways....

2nd semester has started up again for me, but it goes a lot deeper than that. School is actually one of the few things keeping me happy rn aside from my job.

The real problem is my family. Don't get me wrong, they're amazing and generous and very much loving towards me. I've made myself into the "good child" so I never have to worry about getting on their nerves. But other than that, I have to listen to them scream at each other and sit through their passive aggressive conversations. Every. Damn. Day. I can't leave the dinner table without wanting to cry. My house is toxic, even though I have access to all the things I should as a daughter and sister. Of course, we have good moments between all of us, but I'm reaching my limit.

Now, I'm almost 20, but I can't just move out. Have you SEEN the cost of living lately? I'm also disabled and still rely on them for support. I'll be able to live on my own someday, but that day is VERY far away.

I'm not sure if depressed is the right word. I've been depressed before, and I can feel myself slipping towards that pit again, but I'm not quite there yet. I've been sleeping a lot, which is why you've seen less of me. Hobbies tend to be the first to go when I'm exhausted.

I do have a really good IRL support system outside of my family, so don't worry about me. I just figured I owed you all some explanation for why I disappear, especially since we're a small community. There's SO much art and fic and other content I want to make for you guys, but my mind just isn't all there.