#I'll be lost in a crowd; surrounded by people who like me (and how useful I am) and then alone at night forever till I die

[medicinemane]

Well, I seem to have gotten my minecart system working. No lost carts this time

Just... slowed the whole system way way way down, after a lot of research the best answer seems to be that too many carts too quick overwhelms the hopper, and taking a closer look as I was dismantling things showed me that the observer was managing to send two pulses

So I added my go to comparator decay clock and then with a little work put a falling edge monostable circuit (ie a piston with an observer on it that triggers nothing when pushed but something when pulled back), so basically it's extended when the signal is decaying and only goes off once the signal dies... double pulse from the observer just extends the timer

Still reasonably depressed. I've said it before, I'm just brittle at this point. It's not like some stupid cart system in minecraft is making me want to die... I'm just fucking tired of living, so guess what? This just adds to the list of reasons to fuck off

Nothing I do matters. This doesn't matter in the slightest. I build it more compulsively than with any purpose

I want to finish that mountain base (which is still probably a few years off at least at this pace), and I just kinda want to finish it cause I want to finish it... but can you honestly say that once it's all said and done, that I won't just pass it to my friend who I play with, and then in like 20 years when I'm dead it won't fall victim to digital decay without anyone even having seen it?

Like be honest for a minute, it's not gonna stop me working on it, but be honest and ask yourself... will anyone besides one other person even see it?

I don't need a million fans or something, I'd just like some of the shit I do to matter or last a bit... and nothing does

Tell me a single thing I've done that actually has some kind of meaningful impact... or anything that I'll ever do

[reysdriver]

Drunk Walk Home | R.L.

You take your drunk boyfriend up to his dorm after a party — remus x fem!reader fluff

warnings: alcohol, remus gets drunk, underage drinking

words: 1k

You had come to the party with your boyfriend, Remus, at the beginning of the night. When you met by your dorm and went down to the Gryffindor common room, you two were almost immediately whisked away from each other by your friends. Remus had gone with James, Sirius, and Peter to play some drinking game, while you hung out with Marlene and Lily. 

You had lost track of time since you had arrived, and likely would have stayed until the morning if it weren't for Remus coming up behind you, gently wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck while you were listening to Lily tell the story of James' latest attempt at wooing her. 

"Hi." You said as a goofy grin strung itself across your face. 

Lily paused her story when she noticed him embracing you. You could smell the potent air of firewhiskey surrounding him and figured that he had lost whatever game he was playing with the other Marauders. 

"Hi, love." He slurred. "I missed you."

"You brought me to this party a few hours ago." You giggled. 

"Maybe, but it feels like it's been forever."

You looked over at Lily and Marlene, who both waved you off, telling you that you should be taking Remus to get some rest. 

"Well, that just tells me we should be getting you back to your dorm for the night."

"No, no. I wanna stay and listen to Lily tell you about how James asked her out. James told us this was finally the time she said 'yes'."

Lily's eyes widened. "He's telling people that? I'm going to kill him! Goodnight, you two. Marls, I'll be back." Lily said as she stormed off to find James. 

"I'm going to go see what she's going to do to him. Goodnight, if you're leaving." Marlene said to you, then followed Lily.

You realised that while they were talking, Remus had let go of your figure. You turned back around to face him. "Alright, come on, we need to get you upstairs." 

 "No, I've barely seen you today, I want to stay here with my girlfriend." He whined. 

"I'm coming with you, obviously." You told him. "Someone has to stop you from falling and hitting your head when you try to go up the stairs."

"I'm not going to hit my head on the stairs." He said, rolling his eyes. 

"No, because I'll be there to stop you."

He looked pensive—as pensive as someone on the verge of blacking out could be, that is—then he looked down at you again. "Okay, fine, I'll go with you."  

You flashed him a happy smile. "Perfect. Do you need to hold on to me while you walk? You can hold my hand." 

"I don't need to, but I will because I love you and I just want to hold your hand." 

"That works for me."

You held your hand for him to take, which he gladly accepted. You lead him through the crowds of students, saying goodnight to all your friends as you passed by them on the way to the dormitories.

You went slowly up the stairs to make sure Remus didn't fall, but it was relatively easy since he held onto the wall as he trudged up to his room.

You opened the door and let the two of you into his dorm.

"Okay, c'mon, love." You said, closing the door behind you. "You've got to get changed and ready for bed."

You turned around, going to grab the water bottle from his nightstand to give to him, when you felt Remus' familiar lips on your cheeks, kissing you from behind.

He spun you around, his lips staying on your jaw.

"Remus, what are you doing?" You asked him softly.

"What does it look like?"

"Something you shouldn't be doing tonight." You told him.

He sighed and stood up straight. "I can't kiss my beautiful girlfriend?" 

"Not when you're drunk and you need to sleep." 

"I don't need to sleep, you need to sleep." He pouted.

You rolled your eyes slightly. "Yes, I'll be going to sleep too."

"With me?"

"Do you want me to stay the night?"

You looked up into his eyes and saw a hopeful twinkle in his eyes as his lips curved into a faint smile.

"I always want you to stay with me." 

"Okay, well then, take a big drink of water for me, change out of your whiskey-soaked clothes, and get ready for bed, and I'll stay here."

You watched as he walked over to his nightstand, taking a swig from the water bottle. 

"Will you read to me?"

You smiled, happy Remus was still in want of your company, even in his inebriated state. 

"If you do the rest of the things I asked, then, of course. Do you need help with any of it?"

He shook his head, then stopped when it obviously gave him a stinging headache. "No, no, you just sit down all pretty like always and find the book you'll read to me."

He turned around and gathered a pair of plaid pyjama pants as you grabbed a book from his bedside table and settled under his blanket. He cursed himself out several times while he was getting ready when he stumbled or hit himself on some inanimate object, but he still insisted he didn't need help. 

You waited a few more minutes for your boyfriend to get changed and clean himself up before he walked over to meet you under the covers of his dormitory bed. 

You looked over at him with a cute grin as you held out your hand for him to take as he laid down. "Hi, Remmy." You whispered. 

"Hi, love." He said as he crawled into the bed beside you. He laid his head on your chest and you began to comb your fingers through his sandy brown locks, holding the book in one hand.

"Do you want me to start reading now?" You asked quietly, pressing a kiss atop his head.

"Start whenever you'd like." He said, already half asleep in your arms.

[allgoldenelite]

Translation of various things surrounding DDT 8/25 (Ibushi's return match)

It's a long one, so click to read it all after the cut

On the mic after the match, Ibushi said:

In these 20 years I've been wrestling, there truly were times when I didn't know if I liked pro wrestling or not. Coming back to the DDT ring and being able to have a match here, it really made wrestling seem fun again. But my love for wrestling is still only at 60%. It's not enough for 100%, but from now on I will get into the ring in AEW and DDT and gradually find my own true wrestling style that's fun to me. Endô, let's have a singles match next. I'm always waiting.

Kôroku Yuya:

I was no match that presence that changes the atmosphere of where he is just by being there, or that aura he has. It was a good experience to get a taste of Ibushi Kôta live like that. But I have to defy him, don't I? There are many passionate guys among the rookies in DDT right now that you don't even know about. Remember that. Thank you for the nice inspiration.

During their backstage comments, Ueno and Mao were more critical of Ibushi coming back to DDT. Ueno said:

We're here right now because Ibushi built the history of DDT. But him coming back to DDT is nothing amazing. What is Ibushi going to do in DDT? What are we going to do in the future? That's [what I want you to] look at. I lost but I'll go forward.

And MAO said:

The guys who had their dreams together with Ibushi Kôta, they can't forget the era in which they dreamed together with him, they'll chase after the shadow of that time their entire lives. How do you think we've been feeling when we built our own era after that?! I don't care about Ibushi this Kôta that, but 'that time' is over! We are the now! We lived through the hard times, and even after DDT was picked up by CyberAgent when the numbers were low, they were still a bit low after that—that the numbers are finally looking good again, that's thanks to the era we built! Don't take us for idiots! You middle-aged lot, don't give yourself up to the 'golden star syndrome'. Wake up. We are the current generation.

To which Ibushi said:

A return to DDT after a long time I'm dead tired, but it felt like something nostalgic, something new. I'm going to physically stay a heavyweight for a bit... It was fun, but, well, I don't have any interest at all in the criticism? inferioty complex? of the rest of the roster and I don't want to get involved with that at all, so I'm going to ignore it. It crossed my mind if [he?] is going to do that kind of wrestling again, but Endô has really grown!"

Oh, these people are the aces? I guess they're from a generation I'm not familiar with [typo]. Either way I'm tired of superfluous jealousy so if this repeats I can always fade out, and also please get bigger crowds again, in the future I won't accept that kind [typo] of jealousy even if it's in wrestling. I'll leave I got AEW too"

And then Ueno had this to say (reposted by MAO and Chris):

For me it's not at all like that. Neither myself nor MAO has any kind of criticism of you or feels inferior to you, Ibushi. It's simply about the problem with the stance of those people who share their opinions. If you could, I'd implore you to watch our backstage comments again. I'm sorry it's about us, but please forgive us if our language is rough. I think the fact that [people] feel nostalgic about the DDT that you built under Takagi, and what the current you is going to build in DDT from now on, are two completely different things. Please don't just look at the past, but at DDT as it is now, as a promotion, as the individuals. It's not just about what's happening right now. The present continues a bit into the future. That's our DDT, us who're living in the now. The DDT the way I see it. It's extremely sad to see this as jealousy or inferiority complex or something like that, that's just unfortunate. I'll show [people] everything I've acquired as a human being. I think that if we can't shift our focus because there are other places, then that's the last stop for us as we are now. If you are born of Takagi Sanshirô and wrestling is fun for you to experience, then please experience DDT until you've had enough. Please don't give up on yourself or others. It's all in DDT. If singles are easier to do then let's have one immediately. We're the children of Takagi Sanshirô, so let's enjoy this. It'd be a waste [not to].

Chris:

At the end of the day, pro wrestling is a fight, so if someone snaps at you, you should snap back. I think no one is expressing petty jealousy, and I think if you think that we are then you have a pretty narrow world view. And the people who are blindly agreeing with that kind of misunderstanding aren't helping the situaton, either. DDT is a kind place with kind people, so let's enjoy this together. If it's not from the heart we won't get anything out of it, after all.

Mita Sayoko:

When Endo asked Ibushi, 'Ibushi, do you love pro wrestling' and Ibushi answered in his actual voice, 'I do', I remembered that time in 2013 at the show in Ryôgoku when Dieno and Ibushi, after their singles match, had this back-and-forth: 'Ibushi, why do you wrestle?' 'Because I love it'.

[the actual back-and-forth took place before Ryôgoku, and went like this:]

Dieno: “Thank you very much for so thoroughly and utterly smashing me to pieces for daring to think I could win even a little bit. Oh, damn it! Ibushi, can I ask you something? Why are you wrestling?” Ibushi: “Because it’s fun.” Dieno: “What a coincidence. [I feel so] too. One more, why are you in DDT?” Ibushi: “Because I love it, because I love it here.”

Ibushi also replied to the first post in this thread:

I really was so lost that I weighed in my mind whether I loved it or hated it. A lot of things raced through [my head]. When I asked myself how I would feel if I didn't have pro wrestling anymore right now, I knew definitely that if it went away I would regret it. I've only ever had like, one regret in my life, but this one I would regret! So then I said, "I do [love it]."

[back to Mita:]

Endo belongs to the last generation in DDT who were deeply influenced by Ibushi, and Ibushi's not just the wrestler who inspired him to become a wrestler but 'someone I will always look up to'. I'm really glad that they each came up through an era when pro wrestling is unbelievable and that I could see with my own eyes the day when they could face each other in a DDT ring [after that]."

And then MAO comes along and throws a fastball at these sentimental feelings. When I saw him yell, "You middle-aged lot, don't give yourself up to the 'golden star syndrome'! Do you have any idea how hard we worked since then?! That era is over!", I felt like I couldn't just carelessly say "I want to see a match with Ibushi and the DNA generation after him" anymore,

and furthermore I knew that Ueno, who had lost his championship and had been made to talk about Ibushi only after his match, was [also] thinking, don't take us for idiots, so I trudged home, thinking around in circles about everything.

Dieno on his blog (this was the free part, there is also a paid one):

First, I should say, 'Welcome back'. This is probably putting the assclusion first, but let me talk about what's great about Ibushi in DDT. It's his degree of madness. That he's a psychopath. If you forgive the crass expression, the guy is insane. But because he has an unbelievable talent for wrestling, people pay attention to him, whether it be because of his moves of his physicality or his unique, hard work, and as a result he was successful in major promotions as well, not to speak of how accepted he was. Although he went to a major promotion, his madness didn't fit in there. That's all this is about. We will never know how much Ibushi was worried when he left DDT. Some people maybe even think it wasn't good. Well, a lot happened. Sorry, but I don't care about that. What does he mean to me? That's the only basis by which I judge Ibushi.

So then he returned to DDT yesterday (8/25). He made sure to dress up in madness. I think his injuries and ring rust did have an effect on him. But this was Ibushi at his most 'Bussan' to me. The same way Endô is 'Tecchan' to me. Ibushi was 'Bussan'.

I don't care if he himself agrees or not. If he's going to be a heavyweight wrestler than he's going to get bigger for that and a build a body he can use for that. I think he will adjust that himself in the future. As far as yesterday is concerned, I think it's enough that he showed up as 'Bussan'.

I guess I'll go into detail? This is jumping around in the timeline a bit, but somehow Endô made his challenge after the main event. It feels like before that he was looking at himself and checking what it was that he himself needed right now. Through the match with Ibushi. His question to Ibushi after the match was probably also part of that. In other words 'Do you love pro wrestling?' You get it, right? Tecchan was asking himself that. In reality the answer was already there. Because he was asking that inside a wrestling ring. But for him, that was probably the last piece needed [to make his] challenge. 'I wrestled because I love wrestling. But sometimes it was difficult in wrestling. Would I continue to love wrestling despite that?' That led to him declaring his challenge after the main.

Kôroku. I'm glad he got a taste of Ibushi before the others. I don't know how Ibushi is going to wrestle for DDT in the future. But I could see him wrestling in matchups that are meaningful. Consequently I guess he won't really wrestle those with shorter careers we call rookies. Thus it's a valuable experience that shouldn't be wasted. And on top of that. Of course, I don't know if this is the correct answer. I don't know, but if I had been Kôraku, I think I would've said 'This guy is crazy' during the match. After all, he tried to asphyxiate him. So I get the feeling that he acted in this kind of position in the match. And by doing so [Kôroku] became a key person of the match. But I don't know if it's the correct way to go to repeat that over and over. It changes depending on how you want to be perceived. Wrestling is hard.

Akito controlled the match. At the very least he did for our team. Akito's control of the chaos was very effective when it came to how excessively often it was Ibushi's turn, even though this was his return match after injury. There was a way everyone conducted themselves that was like, 'Everyone wants to see Ibushi in this match.' The nerve of this guy to have this kind of important position in DDT, in deed as well as in name. How upsetting to think that, I thought in admiration.

And actually, me and Ibushi. This is important for this match. I was able to predict the fact that Akito would help 'Ibushi's match' along the way I noted earlier, so here I shoved in my story with Ibushi, as is my nature. I thought I would do it as soon as Ibushi made his entrance. I write about this in more detail in the paid part, but I understand where Ueno and Mao are coming from. I guess you could call it a concern for the "current DDT". That's why I brought my story with Ibushi here. I think the result was worth it. We mustn't go back to 8 years ago, after all. Not just the wrestlers in this match. Every wrestler in DDT right now. The whole of DDT, in a way. And neither should Ibushi. We live in the now, facing the future together with the past. ...This is the kind of thing I will get deeper into in the paid part.

[scarlettjohanssons-mistress]

Anything Scarlett x reader 🥰

One night, or maybe more

Warnings: First meet, fluff, night adventure

Word count: 1.1 K

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Scarlett meets a girl who makes her feel like one more person, so, she invites her to spend a fun night with her all over town.

Requests: OPEN

[Main masterlist] [Actors and actresses masterlist]

*Story based, partially, on real events*

"Ok, anyway, can you explain why I'm helping you choose clothes for a celebrity-filled event?"

My roommate and friend, Clara asked as she helped me get every last piece of clothing out of my closet.

"I already told you, my classmate from Italian literature class, Veronica, was invited to the party thanks to her Youtube channel, and since her best friend canceled, she thought of inviting me" I said as I began to connect the iron for the hair

"Wow, who do you think you know?"

"I don't know, I might know Henry Cavill himself" I joked, knowing that he would not be present at the party.

“Girl, never say never” She slapped my arm playfully “What do you think of these pants and this shirt with the back uncovered? It looks party-worthy, it's sexy and elegant. It's an 'I'm a bitch, but I'm an expensive bitch '”

We both laughed, but, she was somewhat right, it was worthy of a party the magnitude of tonight's.

"Clara, you are magnificent"

———————————————————————————

To say that it was a party full of celebrities was an understatement for the amount of famous people that were in that place. Figures like Jennifer Aniston, Chris Evans and even Madonna were present at the party, enjoying a cocktail.

"Wow, when you said famous, I didn't think it would be so many famous" I joked with Veronica

“I know, I didn't expect this quality either” she returned the joke, suddenly someone approached her and began to speak in her ear until she walked away “hey, I have to go interview the person who invited us; I hope I won't be long"

"Do not worry it's alright"

"Don't get lost" she said goodbye with a wink and a squeeze to my right arm

"No" I returned the smile seeing how he began to walk away "I'll stay here"

My gaze began to travel all around me, feeling a little self-conscious about the people, the noise and the great amount of talent that surrounded me, making me feel small, like a little ant.

Trying to get that feeling out of my body, I decided to walk to the small bar and ask the bartender for a drink.

———————————————————————————

After sitting for a long time, taking drink after drink, I felt like a body collided with my back.

"Forgiveness"

I turned my head just to see that famous blonde hair, green eyes and that big smile.

Holy crap, Scarlett Johansson had bumped into me!

She ordered a drink, but surely she felt my gaze on her body, so she returned the gaze, causing me to look away and bow my head.

"I've never met you before, are you new to the guild?"

I turned my head, just to confirm that her question was directed at me.

"No, they invited me" I saw how her look changed, so I hastened to answer again "but don't worry, I'm not here in fan mode. Just… you know, I coming to party”

"Well, thank goodness" she laughed, placing a hand on my bare shoulder. "Well…"

"Y/N, my name is Y/N."

"Well, Y/N, what's a girl like you doing here?"

“I just came to accompany a classmate from the university…”

"University? What are you studying?"

"Literature"

“That sounds interesting… where do you study?”

"Sorry, I don't mean to sound rude, but why would an Oscar-nominated actress like you take an interest in the life of a college girl?"

She took the glass that had been brought to her and toasted my drink, forgotten on the bar.

"I'm just… interested in the life of a pretty girl"

The conversation was only going up, it didn't even seem like she was talking to one of the biggest stars on the planet. We were just two women having a light flirt as we got to know each other more and more. Until, little by little, the room became more and more crowded, making the conversation more difficult to carry.

"Damn, people are starting to tire me out" Scarlett began to complain, as she took the last sip of her drink "Do you want to get out of here?" she ask

"Where?"

"I know a place where we can have fun" she took my right hand, forcing me to get up from my seat and guiding me to the exit of the place.

Taking me on a late night adventure.

———————————————————————————

Scarlett took me on an express tour of New York City, she knew I hadn't had the chance to meet her in the few days of my stay, so she showed me everything there was to see. I took some photos in Times Square, we went through the art museum, we bothered a guard at the Empire State and I even took some of the statue of liberty. When I least wanted to realize it, Scarlett had brought me to the door of what looked like a school.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, watching as she brushed aside the vines to reveal a hole through which we could pass.

"Come, trust me"

And even so, without knowing her at all, beyond a public figure, still, I trusted her.

I got into the school and let her guide me to the pool and watching how she began to undress.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I started laughing at the strange situation I was getting myself into.

"Do you want to swim?" When she was in her underwear, she quickly got into the pool, laughing and swimming until she was close to me again. "Did you know that I studied here?"

“Really?” I asked as I began to remove my pants "Turn around, I don't have a bra"

"If you want you can wear my shirt"

I took off my own blouse to put on Scarlett's and get into the pool. We both started playing and swimming.

When I least wanted to realize it, Scarlett's lips were on mine, in a heated kissing session, but with her hands holding my cheeks, trying not to bother me. She was just trying to be gentle with me, with soft but constant kisses; until the noise of my phone interrupted us. I quickly got out of the pool and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" asked Veronica

"Damn, I left the place, but I'm coming back now"

"I'll wait for you. You have 20 minutes to arrive”

"It's fine"

and hung up

"I have to go" I said as I began to dry myself and put on my own clothes.

Without realizing it, Scarlett got out of the pool and hugged my hips from behind.

"When I could see you?"

"You have my phone" I laughed "Just dial me and you could send a private plane for me" I joked with her, causing her tender laughter

"Maybe I will." she kissed my cheek.

"See you then" I kissed her lips.

"See you"

Note:

I don't know if I can post these days, but if I don't post before December 24, I'll do it until December 28, so… MERRY CHRISTMAS!, LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. Thank you very much for making this year a wonderful year. I love you (I know I already said it, bear a little more of my love) ❤

I hope you enjoy it

I appreciate the reblogs, the likes and the comments

taglist: @littlebitchsposts

message me or send an ask to be added to my taglist!

[george-weasleys-girl]

Impervious

Chapter 1

Y/N is a unique individual. She's immune to magic. She can neither wield it nor be affected by it.

Warnings:one curse word

~•~

Y/N knew she shouldn't be here. Wherever here was, surrounded by people in cloaks and funny hats, all of them carrying wands.

She looked around in awe. Mesmerized by the unusual sights, sounds, and smells. If she hadn't experienced bizarre things all her life, she'd think she was dreaming. But this was no dream. It was a hidden world right under everyone's nose, and only she knew how to find it.

~•~

Ever since Y/N was little, she'd seen things she shouldn't, just like everyone else did. Except, unlike everyone else, when the people with their magic wands came and did their little "men in black" trick, making everyone forget, she didn't forget. She never forgot. Not once.

Y/N remembered all the times someone made something appear or disappear. All the odd creatures. Every time, that strange bus raced through London's streets at a breakneck speed. And she understood at a very young age to pretend that she didn't remember.

But that was all she understood.

Everything else was a mystery. Why was she the only one who could remember? What was so special about her?

It was for this very reason, when she was 14, that she followed one of those magical people to a pub she'd passed by a million times before, never realizing until now that no one but her and those strange humans with their strange wands could see it.

~•~

Meandering in and out of shops, Y/N took in this mysterious, magical world. In her search for anything that might give her answers, she spotted Flourish and Bots bookshop. She couldn't buy anything, obviously, not having access to the currency used here. But, at least, she could peruse the books and maybe find something relevant.

As she began to cross the street, something slammed into shoulder, causing her to stumble, but then someone grabbed her arm and steadied her. Looking up, she found herself staring into the freckled face of a tall, ginger-haired boy.

"You ok?"

"I--yeah. I think so," Y/N answered, rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm g--." Y/N was interrupted by the boy's doppelganger.

"Oi! C'mon George!"

"Sorry, I have to go."

"It's okay," Y/N replied with a smile. "I'll be okay."

The one named George gave her a quick nod before racing off to catch up with his twin. Y/N watched them for a few moments before she turned her attention back to the bookstore.

The place was standing room only. Apparently, some celebrity was there signing books. After several minutes of being stuck in the entryway, Y/N had almost decided against trying to brave the meleé when a narrow path opened up to the second floor. Taking advantage of the opportunity, she wove her way through the milling crowds.

Without any idea as to where to start, Y/N started by grabbing any book that caught her eye. Once the stack in her arms began to waver precariously, she sequestered herself to a quiet corner to dig into her collection.

Everything fascinated her, even if she didn't understand most of it. For a while, she forgot why she was there in the first place. It was only when she stumbled across the word "muggle" and learned that it meant someone without magical abilities, that she pulled herself back on track. With that knowledge under her belt, she spent the rest of the afternoon searching every book for any mention of muggles.

~•~

Y/N was lost in thought when someone cleared their throat. She looked up to find a pale, waifish gentleman staring down at her over the half-moon glasses perched on the tip of his nose.

"We close in five," he paused to check his pocket watch. "Make that four minutes. If you're planning on purchasing something, I suggest you do it now."

"Oh, um, no. Sorry. Here, let me put these back." Y/N moved to pick up the mountain of books but accidentally hit them with her elbow, causing them to topple in every direction.

The man gave an exasperated sigh. "Never you mind. I'll take care of it." Pulling a wand from his pocket, and he uttered a few words, and all the books flew into the air, putting themselves neatly away. Y/N froze mid-step, watching in quiet awe as the books zoomed through the air around her.

"I trust you don't need help getting down the stairs." The wizard gave her a haughty glare, snapping Y/N out of her mystified daze.

"No, no, of course not," she mumbled, scurrying past him. "Going now. Sorry."

Y/N checked her watch as she raced down the stairs and out the door. She'd not intended to stay so late, but, luckily, she still had a little over an hour before her parents got home from work. Plenty of time for her to--

The world tilted sideways as she crashed into someone for the second time today. Except this time, she didn't just stumble but almost bounced backward through the open bookstore doors.

Something caught her mid-flight and stood her upright. "You alright there young miss?"

Y/N looked up and up and up into the face of what seemed to be a giant.

"I--," everything whirled around her. "Yeah, yeah. Fine. Never better." She began to edge her way around the giant who watched her with bemused eyes. "Yer out a bit late, are ye?"

Y/N looked around. The once bustling street was now empty save for a few stragglers.

"I don't believe I've seen ye before," the behemoth continued. "Are ye one of the homeschoolers?"

"Homeschoolers? Uh--yeah, yeah. A homeschooler, that's me." Y/N backed away from him. "S-sorry. Would love to chat, but my parents are waiting for me in the pub. I'm super late." With that, she turned and darted away. She didn't look back, and she didn't stop until she was on the side of London she knew.

~•~

"What the fuck?" She mumbled as she leaned back against the brick wall, rubbing her temples against her oncoming headache.

If your url is crossed out, I'm unable to tag you.

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @princess-paramour @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @alexistonks @imshiningjustforyou

[myadalastdon]

DECEIVED EMOTIONS .

Kyle spencer X female reader

Part one

1.4k words

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [𝚈/𝙽 𝙿𝙾𝚅] ࿐ྂ

"Hey can you stand here for me? I need to use the bathroom right quick." My roomate hayden told me. I nodded. I tried pulling my dress down a little. Because it was too short and tight. I hate wearing tight revealing clothes.

I normally wear baggy clothes. But my friend hayden said that you can't go to a frat party with baggy clothes on. So she gave me one of her dresses from out of her closet.

Which were slutty and short. I feel so disgusted. I don't know why we are here. She says that i need to have fun and catch a dick. I really wanna go home. Parties aren't my scene.

While standing here alone. My eyes scanned my surroundings. There were people dancing. No they were literally bumping and grinding on the dancefloor.

I shook my head. Walking through everyone. I never been to a party. Yes i'm a sophomore in college and i never been to a party. Not even in high school.

I know it's embarrassing but i just don't do parties. I looked around in awe. This is interesting. I saw a ice sculpture. It looked real nice.

I also felt eyes on me. It was a boy. He was staring at me. I didn't feel creeped out or anything. He was just staring at me like i was the only one in the room. I stared back at him.

We were staring at each other through the ice sculpture. He was cute. But definitely not my type. I smiled at him. He smiled back at me.

I walked away to find somewhere to sit down. I was tired of standing. I made my way through the crowd of people. I was so lost. So i just stood in front of the stairwell.

While standing there. The same boy that was staring at me walked up to me with a cup in his hand. Is he following me? How did be find me?

"Hey. I thought you looked thirsty." He says, handing me the cup that was in his hand. I let out a chuckle.

"Is that your superpower. You can sense hydration?" I said. He smiles at me. "One of them."

"Ah a frat boy right? I think frats are full of fascists." I said crossing my arms. The blonde hair boy let's out a laugh.

"I don't mind being reduced to a stereotype, but... i'm on a scholarship." He tells me. He was so cute. The question is why is he talking to me. There are much prettier girls around here dancing. "My mom lives down in the ninth ward. Besides, didn't you come here with a movie star?"

I laughed. "Yeah. What does that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I dunno. I'm kyle by the way. You must me be?.."

"Y/n." I added. He had his hand out for me to shake, i shook his hand. God his hands are soft. We were talking about random stuff.

"Really? How come i never see you around here?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "I just stay out the way, i guess."

"Wow." He says.

"I don't wanna talk about me anymore, okay?" I said. He was a frat boy. And i know how they are. They like to talk to you till they get into your pants. And i'm not letting that happen ever.

"You're the first hot girl. I ever met. Who doesn't want to talk about herself." Kyle says to me. "There's got to be something wrong with you."

I laugh. He does have a point. But I don't trust him. I have to remember he's a frat boy.

He covers his face. "I know. You have a boyfriend."

"No, I don't." I answered. I sighed deeply. "Kyle i like you. But it's not gonna work out. Have you seen my friend?"

He sighs. I walk away so i can find hayden. I looked everywhere for her all around this house. I walked back to where kyle was.

"Hey, I can't find her anywhere." I said letting out a breath. "What, you think she ditched you?"

I scoffed.

"I'll look around upstairs. Hang on." He says, patting my shoulder. I just stood there and waited for him. "Hey, i looked around everywhere. She isn't up there."

Hearing yelling. "Nevermind. I know where she is."

He grabs my hand. We walked through the crowd of people. And there was hayden. She was sitting on someone's lap. There was a group of people sitting on the couches.

"There she is! Y/n we we're playing truth or dare. C'mon girl." She gets up from the boy lap and grabs my arm.

"We're gonna have so much fun! I see you met kyle." She smirks. We sat down on the couch.

"These are my friends. Autumn, brittney, and heidi." Hayden introduces me to her friends. I waved at them. "Hey." I said shyly.

"Where did the boys go? We're supposed to be playing truth or dare." Autumn whined.

"Relax. They went to go grab some drinks." Heidi assured. A few minutes and the boys had came back. I met them and they seem cool.

"So who's up first?" One of the frat brothers asked. His name is tyler. He is an asshole.

"Kyle." Everyone says. He lets out a sigh. "Okay what?"

"Truth or dare." Derrick asks him. "Truth." Kyle answers. He eyes derrick for a couple of seconds.

"Is it true that you actually banged peyton last year?" He asked kyle.

"Dude no. That never happened." Kyle says, he picks up a cup that was full of beer and chugged it.

Ew.

"Okay now its y/n turn." Hayden turns to me. All eyes were now on me. I swallowed a lump of salvia.

"I'll do the honors of asking her." Heidi smirks. Something was off about her. I don't like it not one bit.

"Fine. Whatever." I muttered. "So y/n truth or dare?"

"Dare." I challenged. Everyone around me gasped. "Okay. I dare you to make out with kyle for one minute."

My eyes widened. "I'm not doing that."

"Yes you are. It's either that or go skinny dipping in the pool." She smirked with her arms crossed. I'm not skinny dipping in no cold ass pool. And I'm definitely not taking my clothes off even though it feels like I don't have any on.

"Fine i'll kiss him." I said sighing. "Okay. I'm going to set a timer on my phone for one minute. Now get to kissing."

I bit my lip nervously. "You don't have to do this." Kyle whispered in my ear.

"It's fine." I assured. I never kissed anyone before. Well i kissed someone in grade school. It was more of a peck though. And it was spin the bottle.

I grabbed him by his collar pulling him towards me. We were now facing each other.

"The timer starts now." Heidi says quickly. Kyle stared into my eyes, then smashed his lips into mine. The kiss started off slow. Our eyes were closed.

We kissed in sync. His lips glided over mine smoothly. His hands also moved down to my waist. My head tilted. We kissed slowly and his lips were soft.

I felt the sparks between the kiss. I also felt safe. His fingers tips pressed against my skin. I never felt so safe and his touch made me wanna risk it all.

My heart was beating with excitement.

Before his tongue could slide into my mouth. We were interrupted by the timer beeping.

"OKAY STOP!" Heidi yelled. She was laughing. We opened our eyes and kyle smirks at me. I blushed. My cheeks were a rosy color.

"That was nice." He smiles at me. His eyes weren't dark anymore. They were just his regular eye color. Chocolate brown.

"Yeah." I agreed. Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I bit my lip. His eyes gazed at me for a couple of seconds.

"And you're a really good kisser." Kyle complimented. He wipes my lip gloss from his lips.

"Thank you. It was my first time." I blushed. His eyes widen. "Wow."

The whole night we played truth or dare. I'm surprised nothing got too wild. It was fun. I sat next to kyle the whole time. For some reason i felt safe around him.

"Okay guys. We have to get going." Hayden said letting out a yawn. I could agree with her. "Come on y/n lets go. I wanna sleep."

I'm so glad we are roommates. While getting myself up from the couch. Kyle grabs my arm. "When will i see you again?"

"I don't know. You'll have to find me pretty boy." I tell him, then tapped his nose. He bits his lip. "Okay that's fine by me."

"See you around kyle." I said. "See you around y/n."

He let's go of my arm. And smiles at me.

With that. Hayden and i. Leave the frat house. Kyle and that kiss we shared was all i could think about.

[rollercoasterwords]

#do not even get me STARTED on the overlap w zombie media godddds

I for one am very here to get you started on the overlap with zombie media if you’d like 👀 I love your meta and I think you’d have some really interesting thoughts!

omg omg omg ok kissing u on the mouth first of all second of all i don't even think this is going to be coherent it's just gonna be me rambling but it'll probably get way too fucking long so i'm gonna put it under a cut

okay so the thing about zombies is that they are the perennial "other," right, even more so than most other types of monsters, because the defining feature of the zombie is ego death. like--werewolves, vampires, frankenstein's monster...even creature features like alien or the thing, all these horror movie monsters still have some form of subjective identity, some sense of self, and usually the conflict comes because these monsters live in ways that cannot coexist with human life.

zombies have no identity beyond consumption. like, i would argue that the core feature of a zombie even moreso than just "reanimated corpses" is this violent need to consume--and, in that consumption, to reproduce, to create more zombies. (this gets played around with in a lot of more recent films but i'll get into that later). so, in a way zombies are the antithesis to humanity, because humanity requires coherent identity, and zombies do not have that. in a way, it's almost utopic; zombies are genderless, sexless, without race or capital or religion or politics or any of the things that creates conflict between humans. zombies typically have no issues with each other; theoretically, in a world with no humans and only zombies, there would be absolute peace.

but, ok. hang on. let me back up a bit. because the thing about trends in horror is that they reflect societal fears of the time, and zombies have changed quite a bit throughout history. like, most people agree that the original zombie movie was White Zombie in 1932, which i haven't personally watched but i have read about and like. my interpretation is that a lot of the fear the movie speaks to is fear of the foreign, particularly foreign men/the masculinized foreigner, and as much as i want to go on a rant about like the historical context surrounding that and the gendered dynamics that arise from the movie and how it can be read onto a war story (particularly since we're dealing with the lost generation here, like all these young people who are traumatized from wwi), i am going to reign myself in. and just say: in the original zombie movie the core focus of the zombie was not consumption--in fact, as far as i'm aware (again, haven't actually watched the movie), eating people wasn't even part of it. instead, the zombie was just a mindless puppet being controlled by somebody else, and this is because the zombie mythology that White Zombie was drawing from originated in Haiti, where the zombi was a reanimated dead body that was used as a slave (which really illustrates like. the colonial overtones of White Zombie, where a cultural figure representing the fear and pain of slavery was essentially taken and pasted into a story where the primary monster is the foreign threat to white americans).

SO it's not until 1968, Night of the Living Dead, that romero introduces cannibalism to zombies, and also introduces like...the concept of The Horde. like, in White Zombie, the focus is really just on a single zombie (although there are a few more), but i don't think it's until romero that we get this like cultural image of a horde of cannibalistic ghouls crowding in and attacking.

and so like--this is 1968, right? fear of the Other looks a bit different but is still very much swirling in U.S. politics--like, we've got the cold war, the civil rights movement, the vietnam war, the space race. and the monsters in Night of the Living Dead are actually tied to both fears about aliens and nuclear radiation--supposedly they were created by the radiation from an exploding space probe or something. so in a lot of ways, these mindless hungry monsters are standing in for any number of broad, "evil" forces that the American public is being constantly warned about. but at the same time, there is an argument to be made that romero critiques that fear in the survivor dynamics he portrays and especially in the way he ends the film with Ben's character (again, refraining from another sub-rant within my rant).

okay so THEN after Night of the Living Dead we see the rise in this cultural figure of the zombie, and in the later half of the twentieth century the zombie is normally portrayed as these hordes of reanimated, cannibalistic corpses. but we don't really get this boom in zombie media until the late 90s/early 21st century, particularly post 9/11 with the rise of the war on terror. once again, a lot of these nebulous fears about the "Other" are in the foreground--we've got the advent of the internet, which begins to globalize and connect the world in unprecedented ways; we've got the AIDs crisis and fear of disease and contagion; we've got the war on terror and fear of the cultural Other who takes the form of violent, mindless hordes in the american imagination. and we get not just movies like the 28 Days Later franchise but also other media like The Walking Dead comics (debuted in 2003) which will eventually become staples of the zombie genre.

and so by the early 2000s we've got the zombie established as a horror monster + cultural figure, which opens things up to start pushing the borders of what makes a zombie a zombie and sort of exploring with new forms of zombiism. and we start to see this more in a few different ways--one is the simple physical conventions, which i'm less concerned with, but i think 28 Days Later is the best example of this--suddenly, you not only have fast zombies, but also zombies that haven't died and come back to life at all, but rather have a monstrosity rooted in disease. but then you also have movies like I Am Legend, where we're starting to explore not only different physical forms of zombiism, but also the possibility of sentient zombies.

(sidenote--i know that we saw sentient zombiism explored somewhat before the 21st century, with movies like Day of the Dead, but i feel like it wasn't really until the 21st century that the concept started to take root. just let me have this one lmao)

and now the thing is--remember what i said earlier? a core feature of zombiism is ego death, and it's that ego death that is key to making a zombie a zombie and separating them from humans. so what does it mean when zombies suddenly become sentient--when they can communicate and form their own societies? where is the new line between human and zombie?

we start to see the sentient zombie really take root in the 2010s--2013 is a big year, with both the release of Warm Bodies and the initial air date of In The Flesh (an AMAZING show if you haven't watched it you should. i will forever be bitter that it was canceled). and we start to get a lot of movies that really, really blur this boundary between zombie and non-zombie. a non-comprehensive list of just ones i've seen that come to mind: All Cheerleaders Die (2013), Raw (2016), The Girl With All the Gifts (2016), Zombie For Sale (2019), and now, most recently, if you think about Netflix's Army of the Dead (2021), we see this growing trend of zombie media blurring the boundaries between human and zombie. and i've limited myself to movies for the most part here--this trend can also be found in zombie TV shows (think Santa Clarita Diet or even Z Nation--one of the most atrocious shows ever made which i think absolutely everyone should watch), books, probably even video games (although that's one area of zombie media i really haven't consumed, so honestly i'm not sure). like, at this point we've got zombies that can fall in love (I Am Legend, Warm Bodies, In the Flesh, All Cheerleaders Die, Zombie for Sale, Santa Clarita Diet), zombies that can build their own societies that mirror human ones (The Girl With All The Gifts, Army of the Dead), zombies that literally live and function alongside humans (Santa Clarita Diet, In the Flesh, The Girl With All the Gifts), even zombies that sire or give birth to children (Z Nation, Army of the Dead).

of course, there's still an abundance of zombie media making use of more "traditional" zombie monsters, too. but i think this steady increase in zombie media eroding the boundary between zombie and human has ultimately left zombies with only one uniting feature that holds true across almost every distinct form of zombie media from the latter half of the 20th century onwards (at least, i can't think of any exceptions): their cannibalistic hunger.

and so like this is where we start to hit the sweet spot of crossover with cannibal movies and zombie movies, because not all cannibals are zombies, but all zombies seem to be cannibals. and what does it mean that zombies, over the past fifteen years or so, have become monstrous less for their mindlessness and ego death and more for their violent consumption?

like, at the end of the day i feel like what's happening with the zombie genre and also the growing popularity of cannibalism as a horror trope (and the changing form it's taken--oh i could write a whole 'nother essay about the sexification of cannibalism. like, remember when cannibalism was very much "the hills have eyes" grossness? and now it's timothee chalamet in a romance movie?) are both spinning around this centerpoint of our own growing horror with the culture of consumption that late-stage capitalism has trapped us all in, where we are no longer individuals but instead only consumers. and, simultaneously, products to be consumed. and we are beginning to see more and more that the only forms of connection available to us are through consumption, and just like sentient zombies, we might be horrified of what we're becoming, but we cannot rid ourselves of this hunger for connection, even if the only avenues left to seek it are by consuming or being consumed.

so like, to summarize, i sort of see the evolution of the zombie as: monster representing fear of slavery -> monster representing fear of the proverbial Other -> monster representing fear of ourselves

like i think we are beginning to see a cultural shift in zombie media where it's less blatantly nationalist propaganda (or propaganda against whatever x group is being Othered in the cultural consciousness of the moment) and starting to turn towards these questions about the blurry lines of humanity as late-stage capitalism looms larger as like the Monster of Cultural Consciousness. which is!!!! so interesting to me!!!!

[ace-angel-judas]

Performance

Pairing: Chaewon/Yua ft Kid Milli

Series: Lost Girl Original Kpop Group AU

Genre: None?

Synopsis: Chaewon goes with Yua to a performance

"Why did you bring me to this?"

Yua looked over at Chaewon, shrugging slightly. There was a crowd of people surrounding them, they both had a mask and hat on their faces to hide their identities.

"Hazel definitely wouldn't come, she doesn't even leave the dorm on her days off," Yua explained, "And Eunji wouldn't be any fun,"

Chaewon laughed slightly at Yua's explanation because there was some truth to her words.

"The line up looks really good," Chaewon could see the massive grin behind Yua's mask.

"What makes these guys different to us?" Chaewon asked.

"Well, they don't dance," Yua pointed out.

"We don't dance either," Chaewon snorted, "But seriously,"

Yua smiled, "They haven't been trained, they sort of put themselves out there and get picked up that way, like in the Wastern industry,"

Nodding, Chaewon crossed her arms over her chest. Yua loved rap music, she had a few albums from the Korean hip hop artists that she really loved.

"Emma's picking us up in two hours so I'll just explore," Chaewon explained, "Call me if you need me, okay?"

"Alright!"

Sneaking off, Chaewon made her way through the crowd. Hopefully herself and Yua went unnoticed for this entire time. This place was like a club, allowing Chaewon to find herself a little secluded area.

There was a text on her phone, from Hazel about something about where the last tube of toothpaste was. Chaewon pursed her lips, maybe she should have told them she used the last of it.

A tap on her shoulder made Chaewon jump, brows furrowed together as she looked at the person. He had a nose piercing and a neck tattoo.

"Can I help you?" Chaewon mumbled.

"You know, people only where a hat and a mask inside if their trying to hide who they are," He pointed out.

"Well don't you have wonderful observation skills," Chaewon rolled his eyes, "You're wearing a hat too,"

He laughed at her comment, "My friend thought you were an idol,"

"Well I'm not," Chaewon spoke, it wasn't a complete lie, "I just don't like people looking at my face,"

"Can I know your name if I can't see your face then?" He asked.

Chaewon furrowed her brows together. Should she tell him her name?

"I'm Chae..," She spoke.

"Wonjae," Her grinned, "You alone?"

"No, I came with-"

A loud ringing sound made Chaewon look at her phone, finding a text message from Yua. Before she could open it, a hand grabbed her arm and she was pulled.

"What the-"

"There's a saesang!"

Yua's words made Chaewon's eyes go wide, grabbing her hand and they both rushed towards the exit. How could there be a saesang? Which one was it following?

"I called Emma," Yua stated, "She's on her way,"

"Can't enjoy fucking anything," Chaewon mumbled as they made it out of the exit.

An SUV was already waiting, making them both breath a sigh of relief. Emma opened the door, both girls quickly crawling inside.

"Do you see why I said take security?!" Emma lectured as she got into the car, "And why did you two seperate?"

Chaewon and Yua were both silent as Emma began to drive. Yua glanced at Chaewon before she spoke.

"How did you meet Kid Milli?" Yua asked.

"Huh?" Chaewon looked up, "Who?"

"The guy you were talking to," Yua stated, pulling out her phone.

There was a picture of the same man on her phone screen, Chaewon's brows furrowed together.

"I spoke to him for five minutes, I don't know who he is," Chaewon shrugged, "And it's not like I'll ever meet him again,"

[sharkchanic]

But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Cinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about his! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

"god, how long is this-"

[the-art-in-arthesia-is-loud]

"My Disappointment Is Immeasurable and My Day Is Ruined."

THW TITLW IS A JOKE BUT THE WHOLE THING UTC IS NOT 💀

———

"Ah, so you're the God of Light."

This is an unexpected kind of greeting that Hikaru would get, but nonetheless, he got it.

Maybe visiting Aegle City isn't that much of a good idea. A lot of the citizens seem to be very hostile of him. He doesn't exactly know why, though. He has been...very out of touch with whatever is going on in the living world.

"Uh...why yes. That is me." Hikaru awkwardly responded to the lavender haired man standing before him. The man, who is dubbed 'The Aegleseeker' by many of the people in this city, gave him a rather sour look. He seems rather disappointed in the God for whatever reason. Hikaru still isn't sure why, either.

Oh Amazing Mighty, if only Tessi or Fate could've at least filled him in on what the hell happened here.

"You. I have a lot of things to say to you." The Aegleseeker said, his voice tone indicating that he isn't fucking around. There's no point in fucking around here, anyways. The atmosphere between the two is already tense enough to make the both of them go into serious mode. "I guess I can understand. I don't...exactly know what happened in this place, so maybe if you could fill me in—"

"What do you mean, "you don't know what happened in this place"? You're a God. You should know by now. God sees all, they say." Aegleseeker cuts in, not sparing anymore time to voice out his concerns. "When Aegle City lost its light, you didn't even do shit. "I don't know what exactly happened here!", my fucking ass."

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know! Not even The Testifier herself told me anything about whatever the hell happened here!" Hikaru explained, but it doesn't seem like The Aegleseeker is buying it. "Hmph, you shouldn't be relying on the other Gods to even KNOW what the fuck happened to this place! Are you dumb or what?"

"No, I'm not! How would I even become a God in the first place if I was dumb?" Hikaru asked. Aegleseeker sighed. "Look, listen—" "No, YOU listen! You're the God of Light! You're supposed to be the one who helps the city of literal light! When Aegle City didn't even have any light in it, who provided it? Nobody!"

"And who brought light back to the city? Me, right? Not you. You didn't even do shit. I shouldn't even call you a God if you're not even doing anything about that." Hikaru only remained silent, nodding his head as a way to tell the other man he understood everything he said. Now that Hikaru thinks about it, he does feel bad.

"Alright, alright. I'll admit it, I am in the wrong here, and because of that, I'd like to apologize." He spoke, which caught Aegleseeker's attention immediately. The man only glared at the God, there is clear disappointment in his eyes. "I...I am a bit disappointed in you, and I get that you actually finally admit that you're wrong and you do want to apologize, but..."

The Aegleseeker paused for a bit, before inhaling. "...Not even an apology can make up for not being with us when we truly need it." "Then what can I do?!" Hikaru then frantically asked. He just wants to make up for it. But if an apology wouldn't work, then what would?!

"Nothing."

The answer was simple, yet it hurts Hikaru a bit.

He can't do anything.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter to me anymore. Arguing with you even further about this will only make me feel even worse, so I'll be taking my leave now. As for everyone else, you..."

Aegleseeker's words can only fade out as Hikaru's thoughts get clouded with that one word.

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

...

"Nothing..." He muttered, and before he even realized it, the large crowd surrounding him and The Aegleseeker have moved on with their day.

And Aegleseeker himself is no longer near him.

[kandadiff]

Taste of Venom : The Red Room

~

Walking into the red light of The Red Room, made me tense with Anxiety. The bouncer let us in right away and I'm surprised he didn't send away the people desperate to make it in the exclusive club.

Inside, the music pumped onto the dance floor that was lined with various members of the Red Dragon. "We're surrounded." Nate whispered and while I didn't like him. He was right. I looked up at Negan but before I could say anything he shook his head ending it. I knew he thought of this, which is why Rio was also here with Makayla on his arm.

I thought about how much I would miss her and then my thoughts flashed to the knitted mask in my bag. I brought all three in case, quickly stuffing them in my purse before Negan or Simon could notice. I could bring her. But what about Katya?

I sucked in a deep breath seeing Jennie walking towards us. "G's in the VIP section, I can bring you there."

"You guys go." I said looking up at the looming black rails that cut the VIP section away from everyone else. "I'm going to go to the bathroom first."

"Are you sure?" Negan eyed me and I rolled my eyes.

"🌶I'm not going to leave." I whispered harshly at him. "🌶I'm going to pee. Can I do that, warden?"

His jaw tightened at my words but he gave a curt nod and followed Jennie. I waited for them to be lost in the crowd before I made my way over to the bar. If I was going to do this I needed something to at least calm my nerves.

"Bay Breeze in a tall glass please." I say pulling out my purse for money.

"Min," a familiar deep voice chimed in next to me "its on me." I looked up seeing Seunghyun looking at me from the end of the bar. the bartender nodded, moving to make the drink and I gave him a weak smile.

"Thank you." I mumbled and he motioned to the seat next to him. I hesitantly sat down. I watched the bartender mix the various juices and liquor into mixers until he was done. He handed me my drink and after accepting a thank you from the both os us. He left us alone. I wasn't sure what to say so I didn't sat anything, instead tracing patterns on the glass.

"I need to ask you a question," he said then chuckled "well maybe two." I nodded and turned to face him. He sighed and looked at me for a few moments, flashes of our past coming to the surface of my mind.

"Ask me anything." I said taking a sip of my drink. "I'll tell you the truth."

"Am I going to hear news tonight that is going to upset people here?" he asked and I knew he knew. I mean it was obvious. Gd might have called the meeting under the guise of just talking with his friend but I knew it was an apology - just like the note said. I knew if GD heard rumors then he definitely told TOP about them as well. Even though the pregnancy rumor was fake - Negan did come here to announce our soon to be marriage despite the possibility that it would bring a war.

"Yes." I answered truthfully.

He nodded and took a deep drink of his scotch. The ice clinked in the glass as he put it down. "Are you happy?"

I chuckled in spite of myself and mimicked him - taking a deep drink of mine. "No."

That answer simmers between us for a few moments until my eyes spot Simon not to far away looking at me. I stood up but before I could thank him for the drink he stood up, blocking Simon from my view. He looked down at me forcing me to look up at him.

"Do you need help?" He whispered.

My heart melted at his soft tone and I stood on my tip toes, throwing my arms around his neck and he pulled me into a tight hug. "I don't know." I whispered to him.

"If you need it, you have it."

"Come on, kid." Simon's voice interrupted us. TOP let go of me and and eyed Simon who did the same to him. "We have to go." I nodded following him upstairs.

~

GD wanted to speak about business later, obviously preoccupied by something on the dance floor - though, I couldn't tell exactly who he was looking at. The boys went to speak privately leaving me with Draven, Katya and Makayla sitting at a booth, Hoodie joined us, sitting next to me wearing sunglasses. I never asked her about when she did - I knew what it meant when she did. Under those she was sporting a black bruise around one of her eyes. It was quiet between us, each of us deep in thought. I thought about who I would bring - then thought for a minute. Fuck it. I'm bringing whoever the hell I want. I couldn't choose between the three of them. Fuck it, Maddy too. She could do better than Nate.

"Listen." I said looking around and pulling out the three masks. They all looked at me then down at the table confused. Before they can interrupt I keep talking. "The music is going to cut off for some fake technical issues." I keep my voice low and lean in to the girls. We all go to the bathroom and some people are supposed to come and get us from here, we're supposed to wear the masks but we don't have enough and im not choosing two people between all of you. We all go or none of us go. Before you ask, I'm not sure who is behind it but we are supposed to go with some girl named ... umm" I open my purse for the note but it is Katya that speaks up.

"Clara." Katya said with a small smile. " We're supposed to wait until we hear 'FUCK YOU' in a song and she's going to lead us to another exit." She reaches into her purse pulling out her own mask. "I got a note too and I don't know who it is but fucking anything is better then this."

"Wait did everyone get one?" I asked reaching for hers, feeling the material. It was the same.

"Me too!" Makayla squeals throwing her down on the table. "Oh god, I'm relieved I don't have to do it myself. I was so scared. Someone named Joechella is supposed to bring us to the person who wrote the notes."

Draven puts out her cigarette and smiles pulling out her own. "Anyone knows who it could be?" Hoodie fingers the materials and I giver her one of mine, bringing a small smile to her face.

"Who connects us all?"

"The xo's make me think its Lux." Draven admitted.

"Or adi." Katya shrugged and I sighed.

"Well we'll find out soon enough." I said stuffing the masks back into my bag.

~

[foolforharrry]

Coachella

POV: You meet Harry Styles at Coachella

This is the first chapter of my new book called Strawberries & Memories

Here is the info/chapter index for Strawberries & Memories

If you guys wanna check out my other works, here's my masterlist

I just met Harry freaking Styles.

Now, you may wonder how this wonderful, life-changing, crazy experienced happened to someone like me. And I'll get to that in just a minute.

But first I'm going to tell you one thing. My throat fucking hurts.

- 4.5 hours earlier –

"He'll be on soon, right?", Dom elbows me to get my attention.

Ouch.

I put my phone back in my wine-red, leather pocket, ignoring the sweat making my hands clammy with nerves and the nervous excitement making my chest tingle as well as the slight annoyance towards Dom. The elbow was a little too much "I think so."

"You're totally freaking out, babe." "I am not.", I argue, scowling at him for calling me out.

Of course, I'm freaking out. It's him. Who on earth wouldn't be buzzing with excitement? We haven't been standing around here sweating our butts off for me not to be excited.

There is actually no feeling I can properly compare to being surrounded by hundreds upon hundred people who are all here for the same reason I am. No matter the different lives and stories, there is one thing we all have in common.

Dom pinches my side, looping his arm around my waist before he leans in to whisper in my ear, "You don't think he is going to spot you and call you backstage to fuck you, do you?" The mocking tone of his voice has me rolling my eyes, squirming away from him to the best of my abilities. But the tight crowd surrounding us makes it more difficult than I anticipated.

"Shut up, will you?" I don't have the patience for him to be making fun of my 17-year-old self and her fanfiction phase. "I regret ever telling you about that."

I can practically hear the smirk when he pulls my body back to his side, "If you don't go home with him, there is always room for you in my bed."

"You wish you were that lucky, don't you?", I remove his hand from my waist firmly by his wrist, patting his pale cheek condescendingly.

He doesn't get the chance to cover up the disappointed look on his face. Because as he opens his thin lips to do just that, the lights go out and the angel-like sound of the intro has over one hundred thousand people yelling and cheering in pure excitement.

Myself included.

My ears are ringing with a combination of the insane, deafening volume of everyone around me and the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

But I swear my heart stills in my chest and the world stops spinning when his face is suddenly on the big screen and his voice is booming through the speakers.

"We're going for it! Are you ready!"

I'm not sure whether I'm alive right now or in heaven.

I think heaven might be more realistic seeing as a literal angel is making his way down the catwalk. Pink leather pants hug his long legs perfectly. The cheeky H S on his ass still has me pinching myself as well as the strawberries on the front of the pink vest.

I can barely spot him from where I'm standing, so I am thanking whoever invented TVs for the massive screens with him splayed out all over them.

The intro to what I'm assuming is Kiwi has a chill running down my spine. The drums and guitars feel like something simply out of this world.

It feels like they're tapping into something powerful and compelling. In a way that you can't do anything but just try to absorb it the best you can.

Never mind that he is punching the air, holding a water bottle in one hand as he waits for his cue to throw the water it holds at. Spinning in circles as he lets himself get lost in it all again.

"This is so cool.", Dom exclaims excitedly. But I don't even turn to look at him, too enthralled by the literal rock star getting ready to soak the crowd. It feels like everything is moving in slow motion as the water is being thrown. The droplets fly everywhere on the beat before the bottle follows.

It's the most surreal feeling bubbling in my stomach watching him like this. In real time. To literally be able to feel the music reverberate through my body. The vibrations in my chest from the deafening bass. This is literally a dream come-

"Ow! What the fuck?"

A sharp throb shoots through my forehead out of nowhere. My hand flies up to hold the painful spot underneath my bangs, something hard dropping on my shoe. I can feel tears starting to form along my waterlines.

That shit fucking hurts.

I manage to squeeze myself down to a crouch, cursing under my breath when I start.

Dom taps my shoulder, and I meet his eye seeing the concern evident in his. So I give him a small smile in hope it reassures him that I'm fine. It does the trick when he goes back to screaming and watching the show.

What the fuck was that?

I would have assumed it was someone's elbow or something apart from the fact that it was something small and hard. And it was fast.

There was no way I could've seen it coming.

Thankfully the dizziness subsides pretty quickly. I scan the ground for the culprit responsible, spotting it almost instantly. Something small and made out of some sort of metal is reflecting the lights by my feet.

I pick it up before standing upright again, thanking the girl who takes a step to the side to give me enough room to do so just as the song actually starts and realisation slaps me in the face.

"She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes..."

I have seen this before.

"This is fucking insane! Anna! Why aren't you freaking out?"

I snap my head in Dom's direction, "Huh?" He rolls his eyes playfully, "You're being weirdly calm for someone who just saw Harry Styles leave the stage."

"Oh."

People dressed in bold colours and feather boas are bumping into me as they all start leaving now that the artists they came here for are done with their set.

I should probably join them. Leave now before the traffic gets too bad and all the cabs and taxis are gone.

But all I can think about is the fact that I am holding Harry Styles' ring clutched tightly in my fist and I don't know how to return it to him. The hard edges of the Lion shaped jewellery dig into my soft skin because of how tightly I'm squeezing it.

"I have his ring.", is all I can breathe out. It's what's been bouncing around in my mind ever since I picked it off the ground. I couldn't even take in the last two songs he performed.

Dom's eyes widen in surprise as his mouth drops. "You- his ring?", he points at the stage with crew members milling around and taking the set-up apart. "Are you saying you have Harry Styles' ring?"

I swallow hard and nod.

"Oh. My. God." Dom grabs my shoulders in his large hands, shaking me with every word, "Bitch! You know what this means right? You can sell this on eBay or something and get rich! Or you can get famous on it! This is huge!"

It takes me a second to let his words sink in. But when they do, I shake his hands off me, aware of the disgusted look plastered on my face.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Dom?" I take a step back, not wanting to have him near my personal space anymore. Unintentionally holding onto the ring a little tighter. I cut him off when he goes to defend himself, "No, Dom. Don't even try to tell me I'm being dramatic. He is a person who lost something valuable. I'm not going to fucking steal his ring. Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"He's rich. It's not as if he can't afford to buy a new one."

I can't even believe my own ears. And so instead of entertaining this conversation any further, I turn on my heel and walk against the stream of people still trying to leave grumbling to myself, "Buy a new one? Why don't you just buy a new dick after I cut it off?"

Now how the fuck do I do this?

"Just wait right here and I'll be back in a few minutes, yeah?" "Don't you want-"

I stop mid-sentence when I realise he's not going to be able to hear me considering he's already jogging down the hallway.

If I thought I was nervous before, that's nothing compared to the nerves wracking through my body right now making my head spin.

Where the fuck did Jeff run off to? He didn't even take Harry's ring with him. Maybe he lost his mind or something?

After I left Dom alone, which might have been a little bit mean if I'm honest. But so is suggesting what he did. Who even does that? It was not very treat people with kindness of him. He was also starting to creep me out a little bit.

Anyways, after leaving him there I must have asked just about 15 different people how the fuck to return the ring or who I could talk to before someone could actually point me in the direction of his manager.

I didn't want to just leave the ring. With some random crew member. They may very well have just kept it to themselves the same way Dom suggested I do.

There is a slight chance I'm overthinking this.

I was honestly shocked when Jeff actually took the time to talk to me and listen to what I had to say. Especially when he didn't snatch the lion ring out of my hand without even looking at me twice.

But instead, he brought my hand open hand up to his face so he could inspect it closer before he thanked me profusely for finding him. He then told me to just wait right here and not move.

I look down at myself. The high-waisted red, leather pants that hug my body tightly before flaring out at the bottom may not have been the best choice of clothing for the hot weather. But they made me feel confident enough in myself to wear the black, glittery bralette I've had laying around in my closet forever. I didn't put on the black, knitted cardigan I brought until a few minutes ago.

It was way too warm to wear it earlier. People seriously don't joke when they talk about how hot it gets in massive crowds.

Cutting my hair short for this might be one of the smartest choices I've ever made.

"Let's go."

I'm snapped out of my head when Jeff speaks, standing in front of me with a smile plastered on his face. "Go where?"

Jeff starts walking back in the same direction he jogged towards earlier, leaving me no choice but to trail after him as I adjust the strap of my tote bag on my shoulder. He answers my question, making me stop in my tracks. "He wants to thank you in person."

And that's when my heart starts beating harder in my chest. It can't be. "Who?"

"Harry."

He says it like it's no big deal. Like it's nothing.

Which it probably is to him. But I think he is forgetting that not everyone is lucky enough to meet their idols.

Does he know I'm a fan? He must've, right? I would think my 'Treat People With Kindness' tote bag would give it away.

Maybe I should throw my bag away? If he thinks I'm crazy I might cry. Although, that might happen regardless.

I can already feel myself starting to freak out the more I think about it and the further we walk. I will not freak out. I can't freak out. I am completely chill.

Sucking in a deep breath, I force back my tears and catch so I can quickly catch up with Jeff just as he stops outside a plain door with a piece of paper hung on it.

A piece of paper with a name I've read so many times written on it.

Oh. My. God.

Someone should give me an award for being able to keep my breathing almost steady. At least I'm not hyperventilating. Or on the floor sobbing when Jeff knocks on the door. Normally I wouldn't have ruled out the potential need for an inhaler.

That's a fucking achievement if I've ever known of one.

"One second."

The words are muffled, but I recognize that voice through the wall. There is actually no way this isn't a dream.

Shoot me now.

One second later the door swings open. The fucking door opens and I am praying internally to whatever God there is that I don't faint. Looking at my shoes is the best way to make sure that doesn't happen.

So looking at my shoes is what I do. It would be pretty embarrassing if I passed out in front of Harry Styles.

Sadly, I don't get to distract myself very long with the barely visible little scratch on the top of my right boot when a hand is blocking my view.

I look from the outstretched hand to the face of the person it belongs to, my eyes trailing along the length of his arm and over his shoulder before settling on his eyes. His eyes that are looking right at me.

Am I the only one getting dizzy?

I blink. Hard. To make sure I'm not hallucinating before I raise my trembling hand to shake his. My heart is hammering so hard inside my ribcage that I'm convinced he would be able to hear it beating if he tried hard enough.

"Hi. I'm Harry.", he introduces himself, happily shaking my clammy hand.

It should be illegal to look that good and act this normal. But nevertheless, I offer him a small smile, "I'm Anna." Again. Everyone praise me and how fucking steady my voice is. "Where did Jeff go?"

"I told him to go home to his wife." Harry lets go of my hand, stuffing it in the pockets of his grey sweats. As he blows out a chunk of air as if he was nervous.

I get a little distracted just looking at him for a minute. I don't know why I would've thought he'd look completely different when he's right in front of me, but he doesn't. He just looks ten times prettier than any camera lens would ever be able to capture.

I honestly don't know how long I was just staring at him like a creep, but when he scratches the back of his neck I realise that he probably just wants his ring back and doesn't need a 24-year-old anybody gawking at him forever. I turn my palm up with the ring in the middle, holding it out for Harry to take. "Here's your ring. I'm sorry if it's a lil sweaty. It was warm. And I held it pretty tight so I wouldn't-"

My rambling dies in my throat when Harry carefully takes the ring out of my palm, his fingertips brushing against my skin before he slides the ring back on his pinkie finger where it belongs. His broad shoulders sag in relief when he does.

"Can I hug you?"

I feel my face screw up in confusion, and Harry notices. "If you're comfortable, can I give you a hug?"

Is the sun hot?

Not really knowing what else to say, I nod, awkwardly holding my arms out for him. He chuckles shaking his head before he loops his arms around my back tightly, bending down to make up for the height difference. I hug him back trying to match the strength he uses.

I need to work out more.

My nose is immediately filled with...him. As of right now the only distinct smell I can make out is something soapy. With a tinge of vanilla. It would probably cost more than my apartment. But I can't help but find it just as comforting as the warmth his body expels.

That might be in my head though.

I don't know how long we stand here, swaying back and forth ever so slightly, but I'm sure as hell not moving.

I can hear his steady heart beating in his chest and it makes me unable to wipe the disgustingly wide smile off my face. Harry Styles is hugging me.

"Thank you so much, Anna.", he says genuinely. "I don't know how the hell you found it. Or why you didn't keep it."

He pulls away slights, keeping his hands on my upper arms while keeping eye contact. I have to crane my neck to be able to keep it up.

God, his eyes are beautiful.

"I know a lot of people would've. Either to sell it or whatever assuming I would just buy myself a new one. Or that it didn't have some kind of sentimental value. Which for the record, it does. But you gave it back. It means far more than I can ever tell you." My heart breaks a little when he talks because I know it's true. Dom proved that when I told him I had the ring and his first suggestion was to sell it on eBay.

I don't really know what to say, genuinely taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. It's making it really hard not to start crying like a crazed woman. His accent is also making my head spin, so all I say is; "You're welcome."

A beat of silence passes before he pulls me in for another hug. "I don't know how to ever pay you back."

I laugh, jokingly suggesting, "Follow me on Instagram and we're even."

When I feel his shoulders tense for a second, I instantly want to snatch the words from the universe and shove them back down my throat and pretend they never existed. I probably offended him. It was just supposed to be a stupid joke.

When he once again takes a step back, I am certain he is going to have me arrested or something, but instead, he fishes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me with a cheeky smile on his lips after unlocking it.

I stare at the search bar on his Instagram in shock. My eyes flick down to his profile picture in the bottom right corner before I swallow hard. That's not the profile picture for @harrystyles.

I've looked at @harrystyles' profile picture. A few times.

I gather myself quickly, quirking an eyebrow at him, "Harry Styles has a finsta? Never would've guessed."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Where else would I put all my nudes?"

I cackle, slapping my hand over my mouth in embarrassment immediately as blush spreads on my cheeks.

But nevertheless, I find my account and hand the phone back to him.

"And here I thought you'd have a burner account for sugar daddies."

"I met Harry Styles. Did you know that?", I tell the taxi driver for the 4th time. I forgot his name, but in my head, I've been calling him Pierce. "He also hugged me. More than once. Plural."

He told me his name 15 minutes ago, so I don't want to ask again and make him feel like I didn't listen. But I'll settle on naming him for the collection of piercings he wears.

How a person would willingly have a needle put into their face that many times, I don't understand.

I don't really expect an answer considering he's kind of the silent type. From what I've observed at least. So I'm surprised when Pierce gives me a response, "Oh?" I'm not even offended by the fact that he didn't even look at me through the rear-view mirror.

I take that as an invitation.

So I tell him all about how I had a ring hit me and then realised it was Harry's. I tell him about my struggle to get the ring back to him and how that lead to Harry Styles being right in front of me and talking to me. I tell him how Harry smells even better in person than I could've ever imagined.

I tell him how Harry and I actually talked for a while before he invited me to go out for drinks to celebrate. I lastly tell him about how I had declined because I didn't want to intrude. He had looked a little disappointed but said he understood.

It might sound like I'm bragging. I promise I'm not. This is just me processing to the poor man who got stuck driving me back to my hotel. But there is one thing I don't tell him.

I don't tell him about how Harry Styles now follows me on Instagram. From his secret, private Instagram. And I don't tell him about how I just got a notification about a message request from him.

I do squeal though. Like a freaking teenage girl.

Props to Pierce. He didn't even flinch. In fact. His face has been emotionless throughout my whole storytime.

Ok. Not everyone is an enthusiastic listener.

He nods at my outburst. "Cool."

Hey. That's a response, right?

I'm about to ask him about how his day has been when it dawns on me that I haven't really been including him in the conversation. However, just as I'm opening my mouth he pulls the car over, telling me we're here.

I thank him for the ride and pay for the ride before I practically run through the lobby. All I can think about on the elevator ride to my floor is that I have a DM from him waiting for me. My phone might as well be burning a hole in my pocket.

He might just be texting to ask me to never ever speak a word about him to anyone ever. If that's it, then I'll pretend that Pierce never existed.

That wouldn't be mean right? I mean, I couldn't really call him and ask him to never mention a word about what I told him in his cab or anything. Considering I forgot his name the minute he told me about it. Not that I think he really cared about any of it.

The second I'm inside the hotel room, I'm kicking off my boots, groaning when my feet are finally free and allowed to breathe after being trapped in those things the whole day. Quite literally.

How people walk around like this in heels, I am never going to understand.

When my phone vibrates in my back pocket again, I panic, tripping over my own feet in my hurry to get it out of my pocket, barely managing to catch myself on the nightstand in this tiny, musty hotel room.

Fuck tight leather pants.

My heart is once again hammering in my chest. But for very different reasons since my life damn near flashing before my eyes.

If this keeps happening, my heart is probably going to pack her bags and give out way before I turn 30. I couldn't really blame it. I hate physical exercise too.

I hold my phone to my chest, sucking in deep breaths to calm myself down again before I sit down on the bed. The mattress creaks under my weight when I do, and I am internally cursing myself for cheaping out on the hotel room.

Right now, I kind of wish I would have taken Dom up on that offer of his. He did not cheap out.

I'd just steal the bed. He could've slept on the floor or couch. But since I walked away from him after he was a complete ass of a human being it's a little too late for that.

I can't be frustrated with Dom right now. Not when my phone vibrates for the third time.

This is going to be a long night.

-

Chapter 2

[bitchkay]

"If I was the court of darkness mc" usually ends with something dissing the mc which I will 9/10 agree with

But let's be real, if I was the mc, if I was actually in that world, in Saligia, in her situation

I either wouldn't take shit seriously, be mentally unstable or a menace to society--

Nah cus you drop me --ploop-- into this new ass world and the first people I see are these mfs, half of them wearing mediocre ass outfits (we're NOT gonna talk about Roy's sleaves-- LYNTS BOOTS- 🤭) and they on my ass bout "who are you", "where you from" WHO ARE YOU⁉️⁉️

Nah yall out here tryna kiss me when I don't even know yall names I'M SWINGING‼SWINGING- FUCK ALL YALL FR--

But on the flip side, imagine I just wake up, don't know where I am, scared cus I don't know where I am, and I'm just approached by literal strangers asking me what's my name, where am I from, how'd I get here, imma start crying- NAH CUS- I'm already confused, more then just lost, literally been transported to a place I know nothing about, and yall crowding me??? trying to interrogate me??? Please back up. No I'm being so serious cus the situation is already an overwhelming one, being an anomaly in a place I'm foreign to, the feeling of being lost, not knowing shit or why it happened, just confused on all levels, and while my mind is already scrabbling cus I was literally transported to another realm yall gonna come up to me like I'm not already having a crisis and start asking me questions??? I will literally have a mental breakdown right then and there. Deadass.

However😏

Shit the mc was like 'this has to he a dream cus ain't no way' imma be like 'bet this a dream? Imma fuck shit up😈' even after confirmation that it isn't a dream imma still act up I'm surrounded by hot guys and pussy tight pussy clean pussy fresh-- the princes fangirls?? I'm either fighting them or entertained like damn I did that, what I do next, I'd have sex with Fenn almost right off the bat just to see what the hype is about, I mean yall bitches so cock drunk over this man you think I wouldn't wanna know why, lemme see what yall talking about, I'D FUCK WITH GUY SO HARD, I talk back. Plain and simple, if he rude imma be rude back, I REFUSE TO SUBMIT, if guy pisses me off one too many times, I'm swinging, prince or not, I'll kick in his testicles, I'd teach Rio curse words and how to use them, I'd take this opportunity to begin my hoe era, no ones safe😈😈

[tomhardyspinkyfinger]

31 and 90 for Tommy Conlon pls 🥺 i love how u write Tom's characters, you're really talented <3

"Look it was really fun at first, but I just think we're better off seeing other people! But I'll never forget you, thank you for being in my life." Thank you for being in my life? What kind of asshole would do this?

Oh, my boyfriend that's who. Ex.. I guess.

"Mark, are you really breaking up with me right now?" I questioned in shock. The bar was packed... with all of our friends. Mark broke the news to me as I sat on the barstool looking like a moron. He felt that being surrounded by our friends would make this easier for me to accept. Luckily, no one seemed to know what was going on.

"Listen sweetheart, we just aren't right for each other! And I think-" I slid off the barstool and wormed my way through the crowds to get away from the entire situation. Some of our friends smiled and said hello, some starting conversation.

I needed to do something drastic, right now.

I scanned the bar until a man sitting at the end of the bar nursing a beer caught my eye. He was jaw droppingly handsome, and he would do perfectly. I sat next to him and tapped his shoulder.

"Hello, If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?" I questioned blatantly. His eyebrows furrowed.

"What?" He spoke, quite clearly caught off guard. I let out a sigh.

"See the guy at the other end of the bar looking this way?" The man nodded. "That's my boyfriend of five years, he just broke up with me in a bar filled with our friends so I would take the news well." I explained. The man grimaced.

"Jesus. What does that have to do with me?" He questioned.

"Well, I've spent five years of my life tied to one man, I lost all of those crazy mid-life experiences of hooking up with random strangers and being spontaneous. So, if you'd be so kind, I would like you to kiss me right here, right now." I shrugged, the drinks I had earlier giving me courage. The man set his beer down and turned to face me, looking for my approval. I nodded and he brought his lips to mine, the feeling making me moan lightly.

I could feel eyes on us, I'm sure my friends were widely confused, but I just didn't care. After kissing this unknown man, he pulled away and swiped my bottom lip with his thumb.

"Anything else I can do for you?" He questioned.

"Yeah, actually. Care to be my first one night stand?" I questioned, making myself appear as confident as possible. The man with the plump lips stared at me for a beat, before turning and hailing down the bartender.

"Put her drinks on the tab under Tommy, and could you ring us a cab?"

[randomshyperson]

Left Behind - Chapter 10 - Atlantis

Gif was made by @abimess aka wifey

Summary: The one where you lived in the apartment under the Maximoff family in Sokovia, or, your journey as a Sokovian civilian to Avenger.

Series Warnings: (+16) Violence, fighting, cursing, civil war environments, abuse of power, assault, torture, underage kissing, psychological torture, substance use, mention of assault/fighting of children, smut, kissing, teasing, insinuation of sexual and moral harassment, verbal offenses.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader || platonic bucky barnes x reader, mentor!natastha romanoff and mentor!steve rogers, bruce banner x reader (friendship), pietro maximoff x reader (friendship).

Words: 3.445K

A/N> I should warn you for the angst in this one i think. Please don't hate the ending of this or the fic. Good reading you all. Also, listen to "Atlantis" by Seafret, i chose the name based on that song.

All Works Masterlist || Read on AO3 || Series Masterlist

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Chapter 10 - Atlantis

You ignore the insinuating look Pietro gives you when he sees you leaving Wanda's room in the morning.

"Not a word." You warn threateningly as he raises his arms in surrender, holding back his laughter.

You turn and go back to your room, trying not to smile like an idiot as you prepare for the mission, and failing miserably.

You try not to think about last night, or the morning after, but the feel of Wanda's lips on your skin is all that comes to mind for the next few hours.

Even during breakfast, where after she stole a kiss on your cheek in the hallway before you guys joined the Avengers, and sat beside you at the table while Steve went over some details to everyone, all you could think about was the last night. In Wanda's taste, her hands inside…

"Stop it." She warns softly at your side. Lower enough so only you can hear, and not to get in the way of the captain's speech. You blink in confusion, and then you understand. Feeling your face heat up, you look at her with a mixture of surprise and indignation.

"You can...?"

"Yes, now eat in silence please." She interrupts in the same tone, equally embarrassed as she keeps her gaze on the plate in front of her.

"Wanda?" You try next. And she mutters under her breath, and then she realizes. She rolls her eyes, and goes back to eating. You smile. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you could hear thoughts."

"It was kind of obvious don't you think?" She retorts mentally. "My whole thing is mind control."

"Your whole thing is to be the love of my life." You tease and she chokes lightly on her coffee, making you hold back a laugh as you gently touch her back. She says she's fine softly, and Steve, who had given her a worried look, goes back to talking about planning for the defenses in Sokovia.

"When this is over, I want to try a few things." You mentally tell her and Wanda looks at you quickly before turning her attention back to Steve. You imitate the movement.

"We'll leave as soon as you finish eating." Steve says already getting up. You suddenly feel anxious.

Wanda notices the way your body has tensed, and looks at you immediately.

"Hey, everything okay?" she asks tenderly. You give her a weak smile, placing your hand on her thigh. Wanda puts her hand on top of yours.

"I'm nervous."

"Me too." She confesses. "But we'll be fine. I got you."

"And I got you."

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As soon as you join the jet with the rest of the Avengers, you could already feel the control serum starting to wear off.

Sighing a little, you don't even have to ask to have Wanda's hand in yours. Her eyes and fingers glow red for a moment as she helps you, before returning to normal. You mumble a thanks, resting your back against the jet's wall.

"Remember what we trained, Avengers." Announces Steve upon entering. "Removing the civilians is the support team's priority, while Clint searches for Natasha. The strike team must deal with Ultron's guards."

"Yes, captain." The team says in understanding, and then the jet is leaving.

It takes ten minutes for Pietro to start teasing you.

"I hear we had a girls night yesterday." Commented the boy out loud, attracting the attention of Bruce and Bucky, who were standing next to you. Wanda glared at her brother.

"Pietro..."

"What is it, sestra? I’m just saying.”He joked. You wondered if you could throw him off the jet from that high. "I heard that this type of activity is a great stress reliever."

You felt your face heat up, and you sank into your seat. In the next second, the rest of the team understood. Clint whistled loudly, and Tony laughed. Bruce blushed and pretended to pay attention to his boots while Bucky giggled at Steve's embarrassed expression.

"Forgive me, I'm not following the reason for the humor in this conversation." Vision commented then.

"Don’t you dare." Wanda warned when he saw Pietro raise his hand to tell Vis what was being said, and the boy laughed before ducking.

Vision watched the interaction with confusion, but it was Tony who threw his arm around him.

"They had sex, champion." Tony announced, making you grunt in embarrassment. "I can't wait for Nat to know, she owes me fifteen bucks”.

“What?” Wanda asks, confused.

"Ah, it's just that before you arrived, the golden eyes there were always talking about you." Tony counts with irony. "How much she loved and missed a certain little witch and her inconvenient brother. So we made a bet that you two would work it out. I said it would happen before you went back to Sokovia, but Natasha thought Y/N was slower and would just work it out after we’re done with Ultron."

"Thanks for the faith, Tony." You mumble awkwardly, adjusting your posture. "Now if you don't mind, can you stop talking about my life?"

The team laughs but the comments about you and Wanda stops. Until you reach Sokovia, you spend your time playing with Wanda fingers as you both lay against each other's shoulders while listening to whenever small talk the Avengers build up.

Things get tense once you reach the country.

Steve signals that you arrive and starts moving around to get read for the jet to land.

You only let go of Wanda’s hand to put your suit on and once you’re done, she’s right in front of you, smiling tenderly as she puts a jacket on.

“Are you good?” She asks.

“Yes. You?”

“Yeah.” She aswerns as she moves forward to kiss you firmly on the mouth. It relaxes your body completely, and you keep your hands on top of hers that are on your face until you break the kiss.

You wish you could care about the teasing looks the team cast to you too, but all you see is Wanda.

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You sat down quickly on the ground, your body against a wall, while trying to get your breathing back to normal.

Wanda was using her powers to get civilians out of their homes, and well, it took some of her magical attention away from you.

It didn't take long for you to be able to detect all the biological life around you again, meters and meters away, quickly feeling overwhelmed.

"How are we?" Steve asked over the communicator, probably already advancing with the rest of the team towards the former Hydra base. You looked up at the sky to get a quick glimpse of Tony flying in his suit before he vanished away.

"All right around here, Captain." Clint responded first followed by the rest of the team.

Your hesitation made Steve specifically call you, but before you could say anything, Wanda was kneeling beside you, one hand on your shoulder and the other on her communicator.

"We are good." She responded before turning her attention to you completely. You felt her magic envelop you quickly, your body relaxing. "How do you feel, dear?"

"Better now." You respond with a smile. "Thanks."

As she helped you to your feet, you noticed her worried expression, and placed a hand on her cheek.

"I'm fine Wanda, I promise."

"Just don't push too far, okay?" She asks. "You can go back to the jet whenever you want."

"I'll be okay, Wanda." You mumble. "Let's get this over with so we can go back to bed." You teases with a mischievous smile, stealing a kiss before walking away, giving her a wink before heading towards the rest of the civilians.

Ultron had better plans than this.

“We need to get everyone out of here immediately.” Tony told through the communicator. “A vibranium bomb. We don’t have time.”

“Working on it, iron boss.” You mock as you helped another family move out of their home. Just like, Pietro had already headed to police stations and hospitals to remove people from there. There was a large crowd of inhabitants heading out of town, but there were still many more.

Peace ended quickly.

Ultron activated the robot army, and they literally began to sprout from the ground.

"Bucky, we're going to need support here pal." Steve warned through the communicator while you were drawing your pistol to prevent one of the robots from advancing on you.

"On my way, cap." The soldier warned. "Just don't tell my therapist."

You and the team laughed lightly as you fought. The whole thing getting bigger and bigger every minute.

Wanda covered for you while you guided people out, but it was becoming untenable.

So, as soon as she tore apart the small group of Ultron’s army that was surrounding you two, you called her.

"You can't keep babysitting me , this is getting too bad." You warned, your voice almost muffled by the length of the fight. The robots flying above you, and Thor and Vision facing them in the sky.

"I won't leave you." She insisted seriously and you swallowed hard.

"Wanda..."

“End of discussion.”

“You are cute and all, it's just that we have a situation here. Mind getting back into the fight?" Natasha's voice interrupted the moment over the radio, sounding amused and teasing. You sighed with relief when you realized she was okay, and you exchanged one last look with Wanda before going back to fighting. “By the way, Tony said I lost the bet.”

“Please don’t bring this back.” You ask Natasha, that just laughs before hanging off, not without teasing you about being proud of you for making a move.

The ground shook beneath your feet, making it difficult for you to keep your balance.

"Guys, what's going on?" You asked through the communicator.

Sokovia is going for a ride.

Friday tells the whole team. You gasp in surprise, looking around.

The ground is breaking apart, and the city is rising into the air. You don't need your powers to know that not all buildings are empty. The debris will end up hurting someone.

And even with all that, the advances of Ultron's army get even worse.

You barely have time to duck before Wanda rips apart a robot that attacked you.

Clint catches up with you two the next second.

"We need to regroup, Tony needs us back there." He warns you. You frown.

"Not a chance, there are civilians all over the place." You say, moving quickly to fire at the machines that have appeared behind you.

"Well, we need the offensive back at the church." He counters. "That's where the bomb is."

"You two go then." You say when you finish shooting. Wanda, who has just destroyed three machines at once, turns to you in indignation.

"No."

But you don't look at her, you look at the blue flash figure approaching.

“Hey Peete, do you mind?” You shouted to him as he stopped next to you two. He nods at you before picking Wanda up, who has no time to complain. He teases Clint "Keep up, old man." before disappearing at high speed, making you laugh.

Clint looks at you.

“Are you sure?”

"It's my job to protect them.”

“The Maximoff or the civilians?” He mocks, making you roll your eyes.

“Go, Barton.”

It doesn't take long for your biological detection to come back.

You think you're going to pass out. But you take a deep breath, and stumble among cars and wrecking machines.

Calm down. You remember Wanda's soft voice in the glass room. The feel of her fingers on your skin. Calm down, I'm here. You can do this.

"I can do this." You mutter to yourself, trying to keep your balance.

You find a horde around the corner, almost close enough to a group of civilians coming out of the municipal hospital.

Ignoring the feeling of being overwhelmed at being able to feel the fear and despair of those people, you advance with the pistol in your hand.

The machines were destroyed, but not by you.

"You took your time, Barnes." You tease with a wry smile, rushing to help the civilians, feeling their superficial wounds before helping them. Bucky smiles and shrugs, a rifle in his hand as he gives you cover to help the population.

"Two minutes out here and I'm already missing my retirement." He comments as he fires, making you laugh, a bit breathless due your powers. Bucky notices right the way. "Are you all right?"

"I'm just considering retiring too after here." You retort by standing up again, helping the little girl who had bruises on her forehead to join the rest of the family. She smiles in thanks, but you're already walking away again, your head pounding from how many people you can feel at once.

You stumble around the rubble to the front of the municipal hospital. Ignoring the memories you have of the whole neighborhood, you try to focus on some group.

"Y/N, I think there are kids coming out of that corner!" Bucky unnecessarily warns you because you've already felt them.

You recognize Church clothes that the adults leading the group wear. They are coming from the Orphanage where you grew up.

You run to catch up to them, and it's the first time you've really noticed Ultron's cruelty. It's a horde that arises, and they notice you right away. The machine in front follows your gaze to the small group, and it has a chance to shoot only you, but it turns its mechanical hand, and aims directly at the kids.

You widen your eyes, feeling your heart race.

"NO!"

Something explodes in your chest. Everything turns golden before returning to normal color. You can’t see the golden wave that reaches the group because there’s a pain in the back of your head that makes you close your eyes tightly.

The robot fired, but if it weren't for the gunshot marks on the robes, no one would know as none of the civilians had any injury. The kids were wide-eyed, and you fell to your knees.

Bucky shot the machines before looking at you in amazement.

"How did you do that? They were practically a street away." He asked in shock, watching the nuns guide the kids to cover quickly, just as in shock as he was. Your lack of response alarmed him and he turned to face you quickly, touching your shoulder. "Y/N, you're bleeding..."

"I know." You grunt weakly, taking a deep breath as you lean on Bucky to get up. "Let 's keep going."

You wiped the blood running from your nose with your hand, but ignored the wet sensation in your ears. Bucky hesitated.

"No, you're not okay." He insisted. "Let's go back..."

"Let go of me, Bucky." You exclaimed angrily, pulling his hands away. "I heal, don't I? I'll be fine. Let's keep going."

"Y/N..."

But you are already walking. You can feel all the injured, and you need to keep going.

You help at least two more groups to shelter, until you're resting your hands on your knees and trying to stay on your foot.

You see your blood dripping to the ground, and you hear Bucky's footsteps approaching, so you wipe your face quickly while disguising the way your head is spinning.

"This isn't working Y/N." He says as he looks around at the wreckage. "These things seem to grow out of the ground, and there's no end to them. The city is too high right now and these people have nowhere to go."

You were going to agree with him, but something in the sky caught your eye.

"I think that's their ride." You say while pointing straight ahead.

It's a gigantic ship, flowing alongside the city. You and Bucky exchange a look, before he uses the communicator to confirm that this was a good thing.

With Shield providing shelter for civilians, you started running to help evacuate people from the floating capital of Sokovia.

Your head was spinning, and your feet were about to give up, but you forced yourself to continue.

Your body is shaking when you turn to help a boy who cut his leg.

"Ty angel, devochka? (are you an angel, lady?)" He asks, scared when you heal him and you give a weak laugh.

"Net, ya Avenger. (no, I’m an Avenger.)"

The wound isn't that big, but it's enough to rob the air of your lungs. Bucky guides the boy with the rest of the group back to the ship, and you can barely stand, your stomach turning.

You force yourself to get up. Just a bit longer.

Lifting your hand to your ear, you call out to Wanda while leaning on the car beside you so you don't fall to the ground.

"Wands?" You say wait for her to respond. She sounds worried when she says your name, but you just sigh. "Babe, when this is over, I'm taking you out on a date. Like the cliches we've never done before, okay?"

"Why are you talking like this?" She asked, scared. You can hear the background noises, the way she was probably keeping the bomb safe but facing Ultron's army. "Where are you?"

"I think we should try Disneyland too. Americans seem to love that." You continue as you begin to walk again. One hand on the tech inside your ear and the other in the wound in your belly, formed while you faced the last horde of robots, not healing anymore. "You would like a candlelight date with wine and music, wouldn’t you?"

"Please tell me where you are, I'll come to you." She begs through the radio and you smile before hanging up.

You saw Clint run further to the town.

You take a deep breath, rushing to catch up. You also see the jet Ultron stole rounding the city towards them, the rifles outside ready to aim.

That's why Clint ran there, to save one of the civilians left behind, you notice as you see the little boy on your friend's arm.

You try to do what you did before. Project your healing magic to them to keep them protected, but as you lift your hands to do that, all you feel is a sharp twinge in the middle of your chest and you almost fall to the ground.

Fine, I'll heal them myself. You think impatiently as you ignore your own limit and run.

You are almost there. But so is Ultron. If you stay up front, you think you can protect Clint and the civilian, you'd heal later, no problem.

“I’m gonna win.”

You widen your eyes in surprise when Pietro whispers in your ear, disappearing in his speed the next moment.

No. Don't do this.

You feel the shots before you hear them. You feel it through Pietro's body, who stepped forward to protect Clint.

You throw yourself forward, desperate.

You reach Pietro the second his heart stops beating.

"Piete?" You call to him as he falls into your lap. You can feel the air disappearing from his lungs, life fading away "Hey buddy, don't do that. Pietro! Please..."

You bury your face in his chest, trying to hear something. Anything. You press your hands against his chest next, then his face.

"Don't die on me, Pietro." You beg with a sob. You force your magic in despair. No matter how much it hurts, Pietro cannot die. He just can't.

You can only remember the skinny little boy running with you in your childhood. Laughing with you on the roof. Teaching you to fight.

Your tears mix up with your blood.

"Captain, we have a problem." Clint announces at your side.

No.

I'm not giving up.

You grunt in pain as you press your hands hard on Pietro's chest, your veins popping with a golden light. You're not dying on me.

Something starts to pulse in your head. Loud enough to completely disorient you. Your eyes are heavy, and you choke on your own blood coming out of your mouth.

You smile because you can feel the air returning to your friend's lungs at the same rate as it leaves yours.

When Pietro breathes again, your eyes close.

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[killerskillercaptain]

Applause

pairing : Levi Ackerman x Reader

wc : 1.8 k

themes : the ceremony honoring Levi's squad (including you) after the reclaim of Shiganshina went wrong, angst, hurt, comfort.

warnings : angst and hate

A soft light drenched your silhouette standing in front of the mirror. Inspecting yourself, you flatted out any crease on your long army jacket while arranging the collar of your shirt. You stood there staring at the image reflected to you : you looked put together, but your face still reminded you of everything that happened just days ago. Retaking Shiganshina didn't feel like a victory at all. With all that was lost, there was no praise, no glory, no nothing, only a bitter sweet sense of accomplishment, more torturing than satisfying.

You looked at the bags under your eyes, at the cuts lacerating the side of your face, even though you've been granted enough sleep and medical care to recover, you were still exhausted, and you could still see that dark cloud veiling your eyes, images of hell still flashing in front of you.

You heard a small knock on the door of the quarters you have been assigned to. It was time to go, the ceremony was about to start.

You shouted a weak but audible "yes" before heading out of the room. When you opened the wooden door , you were met by two even more tired eyes.

Levi

"They're waiting for us"

You walked side by side in the sumptuous corridors, you were in the capital and inside this part of the walls, everything looked so lavish that you felt out of place. You didn't exchange any word for a long moment until Levi broke the silence by asking if you were able to rest.

"Not really no"

By the way he stayed silence after you answered his question, you understood that it was the same for him.

The reason you weren't able to rest was the anticipation, no, the dread you felt in regards to this ceremony. With the suicidal charge Erwin commended causing the death of so many soldiers, both young and older ones, all of you who had survived this, felt sick to your stomach, you were all eaten by a sentiment that vastly resembled guilt. You, the rest of Levi's squad and Levi himself being the ones always coming back alive started to sound like a bad sonata to the ears of the population, they would rather see their sons, daughters, cousins and husbands coming back rather then the ones who always manages to make it, so eventually, you were expecting the worst to come out of this ceremony, and you felt that this honoring event was gonna put you all on an unwelcoming spotlight.

Approaching the great doors of the ceremonial chamber, all of you hesitated to to enter as the guards invited you in.

-----

You were totally right, the moment the heavy and palatial looking doors opened to welcome you, you were met by very concerned looks. Soldiers and other various members as well as government big heads were undressing you with disapprobation, you felt your heart tighten, all of you already felt horrible enough that you cursed those blaming looks for adding more weight to your already busted shoulders.

Levi's name was called first to be given his medal, impassive as usual, Levi climbed up the stairs to where Historia stood solemnly, each one of his steps followed by a horrible comment directed at him, sometimes in a low voice, sometimes not.

"How come they're always the one coming back"

"Yeah, nothing ever happens to them how come ?"

"I bet they throw the young recruits and the less competent ones right into the titans mouths so they can protect their lives"

"I guess they don't put their lives on the line so much to be able to always come back in one piece".

"This is Levi, he can take on anything, heh, must be nice to be invincible"

Some of the comments being whispered were down right nasty and they were all directed to Levi.

Of all the people, the captain was the one to whom was directed the messiest of remarks. Everyone knew he was the strongest soldier alive, and they hated him for this exact same reason.

Seeing how Levi manages to stay composed and be able to dismiss these comments made your heart ache, you realized he must have heard them so many times to be able to ignore them like this. You knew the captain, you knew that he actually cared but had to learn not to, you felt bad realizing that this became familiar to him.

You felt so bad for the fallen ones, your heart was still mourning them to this instant but you couldn't possibly describe how gut wrenching you felt seeing Levi having to bear all the weight of the culpability people unrightfully put on him.

You clenched your fists, closed your eyes and told yourself that it was going to pass, like all the other times.

You haven't been this targeted by hate yourself, but now you were put on this unwanted pedestal and everyone could see who were the usual lucky ones, and you could feel yourself being put on the the condemning spot as it was your turn to be called and climb those cursed stairs.

You kneeled before Historia, feeling her hands ghost over your head as she put and secured the medal around your neck, repeating the same careful but solemn gestures for the second time.

"They don't deserve the medals !" shouted a particularly angry red haired youngster.

More whispers could be heard now from different parts of the ceremonial room, enough to fill the spacious chamber. Small groups started forming, their chatter was now all you could distinguish. Some were agreeing while others were quizzical, you could hear the people's subtle judgements but all you could feel was your hands becoming sweaty and an incredibly uncomfortable heat, filling your head. You already felt bad enough, you already felt undeserving enough, you already felt guilty enough, why did they have to be so-

do they not know what war is like ?

"This Arlert recruit shouldn't have been the one to be saved ! Levi's duty should have been to keep the commander alive !" spat the red-haired young man, emotion seemingly making his blood boil.

You could only stand where you were at the top of the stairs, looking at this seemingly unsatisfied and outraged human, making you doubt every single choice you made back there, you wrapped your hand over the medal holding it tightly, trying to ground yourself.

"Enough !"

It was Levi who spoke this time, putting a hand over the boy's shoulder, understanding yet firm enough for the young soldier to turn around and face the shorter man.

"A lot of tough decisions had to be made back there, if there's anyone who wants Erwin to be present with us today more than anyone, it's me."

You felt yourself trembling listening to the captain instill some sense of understanding to the soldier who seemed to try and contain his rage, even if he didn't look convinced with Levi's words. He seemed to have already judged you all as guilty.

"It wasn't an easy choice to choose Armin, it was an even harder decision to let Erwin go, but his woman out there, you say she doesn't deserve that medal, maybe, maybe none of us do, but she and all the others faced hell back in Shiganshina and had to make the toughest of choices. You're still young, but if you ever make it, you will be met with the same inconceivable decisions we did, so the least you could do is show some respect."

Levi ended his speech with a firm tone that made everyone observe a ponderous silence and just like that, every person in the room understood that the talk was over.

Soon everyone made their way to the great halls, you were informed by some subordinates that honorary soldiers would be awaited at the great dinning hall, this news made Jean and Connie start chatting vigorously about how this was the least they could do for them, both of them trying to cheer Armin up, the poor boy looked beaten down and quite affected by the guilt tripping going on in there some minutes ago.

He wasn't the only one affected by what happened in the ceremonial room, you were still trying to calm your beating heart and your pounding head, still feeling quite light-headed. The crowd, the heat, the mischievous and unforgiving gossiping, even though the ceremonial chamber was one of the largest space you've seen, you felt almost claustrophobic in there, surrounded by so many people who blamed you all for getting a chance to live longer. Your already blood-shot eyes were all watery, they stared watering when the ceremony got interrupted and you could swear Levi noticed it when you were heading towards the halls because he kept looking at you directly

"I'll be back, i'll go breathe some fresh air outside" you waved at Jean, Connie, Armin and the others, Levi had long disappeared from your view and you didn't see which direction he went so you assumed he was with Hange.

You turned around and took the opposite direction of the hall, where there were two massive gates. They were opened on an incredibly well maintained garden. When you sat foot on the marbled path you were met with gigantic and well kept trees, all sorts of trees, with even more gigantic walls guarding the property. Each wall had an impressive amount of lush greenery drapped all over them.

You walked to the wall that was the further away from the gates and stood there, your back against it. And right there, once you were sure no one would observe you, you let it all out. Within seconds, you felt heavy damp pearls making their way through your burning cheeks before landing everywhere, your shirt, your jacket, your leather boots, the soil beneath you. You weeped silently, your head suddenly empty from being too crammed seconds ago. You were ready to weep some more if it wasn't for a light touch that brushed you.

Levi was standing by your side looking at your burnt cheeks, swollen lips and red eyes.

"Don't let it get to you" he said.

"Your guilt doesn't justify their anger" he added, resting against the wall. "Yes they're angry, that's what wars do, they stir anger, pain and resentment. Everything humans don't like to be reminded of"

"Let's honor their death with the decisions we will make" he added putting a comforting hand on your shoulder, at which your heart fluttered a bit to your own surprise.

He pushed himself off the wall, hands in his pockets and headed for the gates as the familiar smell of food being cooked started filling the air, only here, even the food smelled expensive. You followed Levi into the hall, walking by his side as he silently invited you to. Heading for the dinning hall, you felt a great amount of solace being in his presence, and right now, he would never know how thankful you were to have each other's shoulders to lean on when the whole world was up against you two.