#I'll also be treating myself to some ramen tonight

[reginrokkr]

I spent the morning studying for this coming Wednesday's exam, which means that I can afford to treat myself for the rest of the day! Expect me to finally tackle IC interactions and hopefully get back to the routine of writing consistently again. I truly miss that.

[siadiary]

day 1

last time i ate was 8pm yesterday. ill fast until 2pm today. i think that's 16 hours. redownloaded all the apps to count. im gonna try to take out my stress through exercise instead of eating.

thinspo was me at my lw. i think i was 115 at the time.

looking at my old snapchat memories, i'm noticing that i do this whenever things get bad in my relationship. 2 days ago was the worst it got i think. at least i hope it was the worst itll ever be. idk what would be worse than what happened.

anyway, itll be hard for me to actually reach the weight i need to get to because ive put on muscle also, which weighs more. oh well. i'll try to let it atrophy as much as i can so i can build it better on my ass. i will admit that i don't mind my thighs being thicker. idk. between flat stomach and thigh gap, i prefer a waist.

all my work is sedentary so i have to actually put in some fucking effort now. take the longer paths, take the stairs. i also need to cut back on sugar, which is gonna suck the most because i have such a sweet tooth.

-

Food log:

breakfast - had a cup of coffee. cold brew, unsweetend. prob 10-15 cal

lunch - 3.5 oz of orange chicken, 210 cal.

exercise - danced for 30 minutes

dinner - buldak ramen, 470 cal (comfort food :P)

[total calories: 690]

[today's calorie goal: 700]

[calorie limit: 1,083]

success!

-

for future reference to remember what sent me back here:

if you can't act like his dream girl, at least look like it.

maybe he'll give a bigger fuck when you're smaller.

you were prettier before.

you were doing so well and in just two months, you can do it again.

you'll look better in videos and photos. the camera really does add 10 pounds.

-

end of the day thoughts:

stomach was so noisy today, was really embarassing. stopped myself from getting a donut and a sweet treat to end my meals today! very proud of myself. started getting really weak already. idk how i'm gonna survive weightlifting tomorrow but oh well.i must push through. i'm going to be slim thicc hehehe.

man... i hope the dining hall gets donuts when i'm on my metab day. they're really good with the desserts.

ok, time to go to bed and get some sleep. day 1 was a great success! i can rest happy with that.

plssss fasting insomia, don't come for me tonight.