#I'll skip tagging the characters as that feels like a bit of a stretch

[realitys-ex]

Now, Everyone can agree that the Fullmetal Alchemist Manga is a banger (I assume both animes are too, but I haven't watched 'em so no comment).

What a bunch of people don't know is that the artist/writer Hiromu Arakawa has written 2 other original works (one is complete the other is ongoing.

Silver Spoon: About a kid from Tokyo who, to get away from the demands of his parents/the stress of academia, attends a Farming School in the middle of nowhere where he is p.much the only one without a farming background. Hilarity, character development, etc. ensues.

Daemons of the Shadow Realm: A dude is raised in a mountain village, farming, hunting. etc. Until one day a fucking helicopter comes out of nowhere, his village is 50% slaughtered, turns out that the village existed for the sole purpose of breeding him and his sister, and it is not the 1400s anymore. Oh and Demons are a thing. Violence, humour, character development, etc. ensue. (This one is ongoing)

Now they are both 10/10, and I highly reccomend reading them both But that is not the point of this post.

She has drawn hundreds, if not thousands of faces at this point, so it is no surprise that you will see some repeats between the mangas.

BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW JARRING IT IS TO SEE EITHER INCARNATION OF GREED, HIS CREW, OR ROY FUCKING MUSTANG HANGING OUT IN A SCHOOL TALKING ABOUT COW BREEDS?

REALLY FUCKING JARRING! (somewhat less jarring to see them in tactical gear murdering people, or speaking with demons, cause that feels slightly in character)

Anyway, that aside, if you liked her worldbuilding, realism, in depth characters, approach to romance, etc. I do really reccomend them both.

(She also did another one entitled 'The Heroic Legend of Arslan' but as I haven't read it yet and it is a collaboration, I didn't mention it above)

[adumbratrapedme]

BABY BUMP | teen pregnancy series pt.2

Synopsis. after revealing your pregnancy to your boyfriend (or after your girlfriend did) a few weeks passed and you finally realize the baby bump is here o.o

characters(all separated): Kiyoko, Yachi, Sugawara wc.idk god | genre. pure fluff !|cw/tags. fluff, teen pregnancy, baby bumps. teen pregnancy series masterlist here!

important ! i'll post something else later too, stay tuned <3

Yachi

It was a rare free afternoon, and you and Yachi had decided to visit the park near her house. It wasn’t anything fancy—just a quiet place with a small pond and a walking trail. You often came here to sit on the grass, watch the ducks, and tease Yachi until she turned red.

Today, the winter chill was just starting to lift, and Yachi had opted for a light cardigan over her dress. You noticed her fidgeting with the buttons more than usual, but didn’t think much of it.

“Y/N, do you think… ducks get jealous of swans?” she asked out of the blue, her voice soft.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jealous? Of what? Swans just float around acting all dramatic.”

She giggled, her usual shy laugh that made your heart swell. “Maybe they’re jealous of the attention swans get. Like… swans are just bigger ducks with an attitude.”

“Swans are basically the Tsukishima of birds,” you joked.

That earned you a louder laugh, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. As you leaned back on the grass, Yachi moved to sit cross-legged beside you. She adjusted her dress, tugging it down as she leaned forward slightly. That’s when you saw it.

The fabric of her dress stretched just enough to reveal a small, rounded curve at her stomach.

You blinked, your mind racing. Had it always been there? Were you imagining things?

“Yachi…” you said cautiously, sitting up.

She paused mid-laugh, her expression shifting. “Yeah?”

Your eyes flicked to her stomach, and you saw the realization dawn on her face. She immediately crossed her arms over her middle, her face turning bright red.

“D-Don’t look!” she squeaked, her voice high-pitched.

“is that—”

“It’s nothing!” she blurted, scrambling to her feet. But in her haste, she stumbled, and you instinctively reached out to steady her.

“Hey, hey, calm down!” you said, gently holding her by the arms.

Her eyes welled up with tears, and she let out a shaky breath. “I-I was hoping you wouldn’t notice yet…”

Your heart ached at how vulnerable she sounded. “you don’t have to hide this from me,” you said softly.

She sniffled, looking down at the grass. “I didn’t want you to freak out. I-I don’t even know what I’m doing, and—”

“Neither do I,” you interrupted, giving her a small, reassuring smile. “But we can always figure it out.”

Her tearful eyes met yours, and she searched your face for any sign of hesitation. When she found none, she let out a shaky laugh. “I-I was so scared you’d be mad…”

“Mad? Yachi, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I could never be mad at you, besidesm this is something common, it wouldnt be normal for me to be mad.” you chuckled

She bit her lip, her hands resting protectively over her belly. “It’s just… more real you know? I can feel it, and now you can see it too, and…”

You stepped closer, placing a hand gently over hers. “It’s real, yeah. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means we’ve got a lot to figure out. And we will.”

Her lip trembled, but then she smiled—a soft, genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat. “Thank you, Y/N. For… for being you.”

You chuckled, pulling her into a hug. “And thank you for being you, Yachi. Even if you think ducks get jealous of swans.”

She laughed through her tears, burying her face in your shoulder. And as you held her, the future felt a little less scary.

Kiyoko

It was a rare free afternoon, and Y/N had invited Kiyoko over to study. Or at least, that had been the plan.

Instead, both of you were sitting cross-legged on the floor of ur room, surrounded by open textbooks, a half-eaten bag of chips, and a volleyball that you had been mindlessly tossing in the air. Kiyoko was leaning back against the bed, flipping through her notes with her usual focus, while you... failed miserably to concentrate.

“You’re supposed to be studying,” Kiyoko said without looking up, her voice as calm as ever.

“I am,” you protested, though your attention was clearly on her.

She gave you a sidelong glance, her eyebrow raised. “You’ve been staring at me for the past ten minutes.”

“No, I haven’t,”you said quickly, your face heating.You adjusted the volleyball in your hands, trying to play it cool.

Kiyoko sighed and closed her notebook. “What is it?”

you hesitated a little bit, not sure if you should say anything. “Uh… I just… Your shirt looks tighter.”

Kiyoko blinked, her head tilting slightly. “What?”

“Not in a bad way!” you correctted quickly, waving his hands. “I just mean… like, your stomach. It looks, uh…” you gestured vaguely, words failing you.

For a moment, Kiyoko just stared at you, her calm demeanor unreadable. Then, as if realizing something, she looked down at herself. She placed her hand over her midsection, pressing lightly as if to confirm what he’d said.

Her fingers lingered there for a moment before she spoke. “I guess it’s starting to show,” she said softly, her voice quieter than usual.

You swallowed hard,heart thudding in your chest. “Does that… freak you out?”

Kiyoko shook her head, her expression thoughtful. “Not really. I’ve been expecting it. But seeing it is… different.”

You scooted closer, sitting beside her. “It’s kind of… cool, though. Isn’t it?”

She glanced at him, her lips curving into the faintest smile. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice warm. “I mean, it’s proof that it’s happening.”

Kiyoko’s gaze softened, and for a moment, she let her guard down completely. “It’s scary sometimes,” she admitted. “But… I think it’s okay.”

You reached out hesitantly, your hand hovering over hers. “Can I…?”

Kiyoko nodded, and you placed the hand gently over hers, feeling the faintest curve beneath her sweater. Your heart swelled, a mix of awe and nervousness washing over him.

“I’ll be here,” you said, his voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside him. “No matter what."

Kiyoko closed her eyes, leaning her head lightly against your shoulder. “You’re still an idiot sometimes, you know.”

“Yeah,” you said with a grin, “but I’m your idiot.”

She let out a soft laugh, the kind that she rarely let anyone hear. And in that moment, surrounded by textbooks and uncertainty, she had no clue what you were doing—but at least, she wouldn't be alone.

Sugawara

The morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting soft golden light across the room as Sugawara sat beside you. The day had started like any other, but now there was something different.

You had just finished your morning routine, slipping on your school uniform, but as you stood in front of the mirror, something caught your attention. Your hand instinctively went to your stomach, where you could faintly notice a small bump. It wasn't much, barely noticeable to anyone else, but to you, it felt like the world was shifting beneath you.

Sugawara, who had been tying his shoes at the foot of the bed, noticed you standing still, staring at your reflection in silence. He rose to his feet, his usual easygoing demeanor replaced with concern. "Y/N?" he asked softly.

You turned to him, forcing a smile, but it didn't reach your eyes. "Koushi... I think it's starting to show."

He blinked, his eyes widening for a moment as he processed what you had said. Without hesitation, he stepped toward you, closing the distance between you with a gentle, almost cautious step. His fingers brushed against the fabric of your shirt, resting just above your stomach. He stared at the faint curve, his expression softening with a mixture of awe and uncertainty.

"You’re right," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "It’s... growing."

You looked down, your heart racing. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this. What if I can't do this? What if I can’t handle being pregnant and finishing school at the same time?”

Sugawara gently cupped your face, lifting your gaze to meet his. His expression was steady, unwavering, as if trying to anchor you in the storm of thoughts swirling in your head. "We’re going to get through this, Y/N. Together," he said firmly. “Look at me.”

You met his eyes, and in them, you saw the same determination that had always been there—the same boy who, despite everything, always found a way to take on the impossible.

He took your hand, placing it against the small bump. "This... this little one is ours. And we’re going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure it out, one step at a time. Whether it's school, volleyball, or... being parents, we’ll do it together."

A tear slipped down your cheek as you felt the weight of his words. "I’m scared," you whispered.

Sugawara reached up, brushing away your tear with his thumb. "Me too. But we’ll figure it out. Honey, and hey" he added, offering a small, reassuring smile. "We’re not the only ones who’ve been through this. We’ve got people we can lean on."

You nodded, feeling a sense of comfort in his presence. The future still seemed uncertain, but with him by your side, it felt like maybe—just maybe—you could handle it.

"Thank you," you whispered, giving him a watery smile.

Sugawara leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Anytime, darling "

As the two of you stood there, the weight of the moment sinking in, you knew life was going to be different from now on. But with Sugawara, you also knew it would be full of love, support, and the promise that no matter what came next, you wouldn’t face it alone.

TAGLIST:

@chilichopsticks @dreadnoughtus101 @starykari @staygoldsquatchling02

if you want to be part of the taglist you can always DM me or coment! <3 tysm for ur support guysehehrbe

[torpublishinggroup]

Devilman Crybaby meets Marvel’s Venom in Exordia, the science fiction debut of Seth Dickinson, author of The Traitor Baru Cormorant. 

Ssrin Character Illustration by Julie Dillon

WHAT’S IT ABOUT

Meet Anna Sinjari, a refugee and disaffected office worker eking an existence in New York City. Her life is about to be upended by Ssrin, an alien with eight serpent heads, no qualms with cold-blooded murder, and an appetite for turtles (yum).

The universe is governed by seven passions, seven patterns which appear again and again, across species and across time. Anna and Ssrin are bound by the last and the greatest. The cosmos itself ships their very souls. Specifically for them, that means they’ll have to outmaneuver spies, armies, and government agencies to save humanity from a diabolical alien entity, hellbent on pinioning the souls of every creature on earth.

Exordia is expansive adventure science fiction that reads like a race-against-the-clock thriller in the vein of Michael Crichton, but steeped in the irony, humor, and pain of the Internet age. An alien-human epic for those who've always rooted for the monster.

[redroomroaving]

2024 Writing Retrospective

Thank you for the tag @tavyliasin, I'll try!

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

I learnt a lesson in over filling my plate. I've always had eyes bigger than my belly, quote my mother, and that apparently applies to my creative output too. I overstretch myself in many ways in life because I get frustrated by my limitations, but you'd think that after so very many opportunities to learn this lesson I actually would?

All of which is to say; it's ok for some stuff to just be ideas. My desperate need to make things exist is a good thing, but in moderation. I ended the year with way too many WIPS, and that was a problem.

How has your writing developed this past year?

I've learnt a lot about myself; the things I'm excited about writing, and the things I'm not. I learnt how to write smut! Then I practiced and got more confident in it. I've practised character voices and how to reflect alternative POVs not just in the way a character speaks but how they think; how I structure sentences, how I alternate observations and internal monologues. I've also come to take more risks and lean harder into following the stories as they go, and letting myself roll with the consequences. Now I just need to learn how to be like, organised - to plot and outline - that sort of thing.

Bad writing habits?

A zillion. Writing out of order; skipping to the good part. Not ending sentences when I should. Repetition. Starting things and then not finishing them.

Constantly going on about lilts in peoples chests.

Oh, and all the untitled documents and the general disaster that is my creative process. I called myself a bunch of monkeys with minaiture cymbals in a washing machine back in like March and I'm sorry to say that's NOT GOTTEN BETTER.

Favorite thing you wrote?

'Sufferer, I shall', which probably will remain the best thing I write. All downhill from there, baby.

'Conductor, Ringmaster' is shortly behind, because it's been so much fun to write and lets me stretch my legs a lot, creatively.

(More recently, I'm also really fond of my Bor x Geraldus one shot Stoke the Fire, which I found a very comforting thing to write.)

Biggest win?

Finishing my longfic 'The Harper & The Tower', my Rolan x Geraldus fic that is, to be honest, really an 150k monument to Harper Geraldus because I adore him and wanted to write him a big happy love story that explored his character, his history, his relationships. I'm proud that I achieved a lot of what I set out to with that story, and hope people enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Goals for the new year?

Finish some darn WIPS, especially 'Conductor, Ringmaster' and 'The Red Harp'. Write more Lae'zel. Write more women, full stop.

Get Bor at least 10 fics on Ao3.

Go outside more, be happier and healthier. Worry less about expectations and meeting them. Remember I write things, selfishly, because I want to write them, and it's ok that I don't always feel I fit in with what it feels like the fandom wants.

I pride myself in my love for the characters, and my belief in their love, as being what I pour into my work. It's a strength, not a weakness; and if I don't love it, I don't need to write it, because that feeling wont be there either. That's ok.

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

Oooh so many. Lilt. Blush. Bright. Now. Stop saying 'now' so much, damn, people get that it's happening presently.

What are you excited for in the new year?

Working on some collaborations I've been plotting! Finishing some things! Spending more time on The Red Harp and Boraldus.

Getting married; living a bit. Hopefully having better health than 2024.

That sort of thing.

No pressure tags for @librivore42 @lizziemajestic @lemonsrosesandlavender and @ankhegs-in-my-salad

[sofreddie]

Scent from Above 2

Summary: The morning after.

Characters: Alpha!Jensen x Omega!Fan!Reader

ABO BINGO: Daisies/Fresh Bread/Pine

Word Count: 1,672

Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Scenting, Scent Bond, Smut (Use of condoms, Knotting), Mentions of Marking/Claiming/Mating, Fluff

A/N: Attention thirsty bitches...get your cups ready. : ) Each part of this series will feature an @spnabobingo square.

PART 1

Jensen woke with a groan and a stretch. As he moved, he felt another warm body beside him. He cracked open his eyes, seeing Y/N in his arms, neither of them having moved from the night before. He wasn't sure what to do as he watched her sleeping.

Should he wake her?

Should he try to crawl from the bed and let her sleep?

He quickly remembered that she was in heat as she shifted to her back. Her scent struck him, drawing him in once more, his nose drifting to the scent gland in her neck.

He breathed deeply of her, musing on her scent. There was something flowery, like daisies. Something warm and rich, like fresh-baked bread. He breathed deeply once more, catching the earthy undertones of pine. Each layer brought on a feeling of home and warmth and familiarity.

After a few minutes, he decided that maybe he was being a little creepy, and maybe he should try to occupy himself until she's ready to wake. So he carefully removed himself from the bed and ordered breakfast via room service, not thinking it wise for them to be apart or in public in their conditions.

Jensen took a quick shower and dressed in a t-shirt and track pants just in time for the food to arrive. As he removed the lids and the aromas filled the space, Y/N stirred awake.

"Good morning," Jensen beamed at her as she shuffled into the main seating area of the suite.

"Morning," she blushed at him, running her fingers through her tangled hair. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her and he silently reminded himself it was only the beginning.

"Are you hungry?" he offered, gesturing to the cart, "I didn't know what you liked, so I got a little of everything."

She smiled warmly at him, "Could I take a quick shower first?" she asked, noting he already had. He nodded and silently guided her to the bathroom, watching as the door closed behind her.

He was absolutely not going to think about her naked and wet behind that door.

As he heard the shower turn on, he realized she didn't have a change of clothes with her. He quickly dug through his suitcase, finding another simple t-shirt and pants. He went to the bathroom and knocked on the door lightly, but there was no response. He took a deep breath and cracked the door open just enough to place the clothes on the counter before quickly shutting it again.

Jensen had started digging into the food by the time she came out. Her hair was down and damp, her face free of the makeup she had been wearing. His clothes draped her frame and the Alpha in him felt proudly possessive.

"Thanks for the clothes," she said as she sat on the couch with a respectable distance between them. She was nervous, not sure what to expect, and distracted herself with breakfast, "I'm in another room here," she explained, "Just a few floors down."

"What room? I'll have them send up your stuff."

"What? No," she protested, "I'm perfectly capable of getting my own things."

"It's not such a good idea to go anywhere," he began hesitantly, "And I'm not really sure I could handle it if you did," he added bashfully.

She was surprised. As she showered she thought about the events of the night before. How could she not? She was sure he would politely tell her it was a mistake, it was his rut, anything really to back out of it. But here he was, seemingly still sure.

They ate in relative silence, exchanging smiles and giggles between bites of food. They were both trying to ignore the fact that their biologies were ramping up once more, their urges becoming prevalent.

"Come here," Jensen softly spoke as he tugged at her. She went willingly, letting him guide her to straddle his lap on the couch. He buried his nose in her neck once more, humming in satisfaction as he took his fill of her. She scented him in turn, slowly allowing herself to believe it was real.

He placed a wet kiss on her neck, making her moan. He did it once more, teasing the tip of his tongue and her hips involuntarily ground down against his.

He was so very hard and so very there.

A moan slipped past his lips and Y/N shuttered. It was the most erotic sound she'd ever heard and she felt a swell of pride at being the one to bring it from him. She did it again, slowly and more purposefully this time, teasing them both.

"You want that, Omega?" he breathily asked as he ground up against her core, his hands squeezing her hips.

"So much, Alpha," she replied, before kissing him hard. Jensen responded eagerly, opening his mouth for her as she introduced her tongue. He moaned again, her hips now steadily working against him.

Their clothes were quickly shed, each piece being thrown without care as they bared themselves to one another.

"Condom?" she asked bashfully as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Jensen blindly retrieved one, his face buried in Y/N's breasts as he licked and sucked at her supple flesh. He held it up to show her, still preoccupied. She chuckled and took it from him, opening it with her teeth.

"Wait," he said, finally lifting his head from her chest to meet her eyes after she rolled the condom down his shaft, "Don't you want me to-" his fingers strayed to her core and she shook her head adamantly.

"No," she breathed, "Just you."

She shifted her hips and sunk down on his length with a long moan. His arms wrapped around her back, holding her tightly to him. The breath was punched out of him. She surprised him, he wasn't ready. But at the same time, he was so fucking ready.

Hell, he was ready to take her and claim her in the alleyway last night.

After they both adjusted, he loosened his hold, keeping his arms securely around her. She pulled back to look into his eyes as she began to move, sliding slowly up and down. Her jaw dropped open, the sensation of his thick girth pushing and stretching against her walls amazingly perfect.

Jensen almost couldn't stand the intensity, the intimacy of her gaze. This was quickly becoming the sappiest moment of his life and he couldn't complain one bit.

"J-Jay," she breathed out, adjusting her hips to a new angle and pressing her chest against his. His eyes fluttered closed at the sound of her calling his name. He groaned and went straight for her neck. After a good long scent, he opened his mouth, licking a line before clamping his lips down to suck a dark mark.

She cried out, her hips jerking, and he thrust up in response, sucking harder.

"D-don't claim me," she stuttered, riding him hard for the both of them.

"Not this time," he reluctantly agreed with a smirk.

He wanted to. God did he want to. He knew she was his and he was hers. But he also knew that she needed time to adjust. That she wasn't ready. That she wanted it but hadn't fully let herself believe it. He'd give her all the time she needed.

She panted as she rode him and he thrust up into her. He couldn't get the angle or speed that he wanted. And he wanted to be deeper. With a frustrated snarl, he wrapped his arms around her and dropped her on her back on the couch swiftly, still buried inside her.

She gasped and he plunged hard, knocking her body up the couch a few inches.

"Yes!" she cried out desperately, her nails digging into his shoulders. He growled and gave her all he had, riding them hard through their highs.

His knot popped and his teeth ached as his eyes locked onto her pulse beating rapidly beneath the taut skin of her neck. Feeling himself lose control, he turned his head, biting down into the couch cushion and growling as he emptied himself into the condom.

His teeth didn't release the pillow until his body calmed and he felt the urge pass. He immediately buried his face in her neck, lapping against the dark purple mark he'd left earlier, his mind letting him pretend it was his claim.

They spent the next few days in much the same fashion until her heat and his rut had finally passed.

"Stay just one more night with me?" he asked as she came out of the bathroom in her own clothes. Jensen ended up having her things delivered after all, "My flight's pretty early in the morning. But we can spend one more night," he pleaded, his hands on her waist as she shouldered her Winchester Bros. branded weekend bag.

He didn't miss the opportunity to playfully rib her over it either.

"I can't, Jay," she pouted. She had quickly adopted the nickname for him and he was thrilled with how comfortable she grew around him in such a short amount of time. He did his best all weekend to show - and say - just how much he wanted her and how sure about them he was.

"If you let me claim you we could take Mate Leave," he grinned.

She playfully slapped his shoulder and scolded him, "I just want both of us to be totally sure before making such a permanent commitment," she said for the umpteenth time that weekend.

"Next time then," he joked, wiggling his brows, "I stole one of your shirts, FYI," he added, blushing, "I think I'd go insane if I didn't have your scent around me."

"I guess that's okay," she said, "'Cause I took one of yours too," she looked to the ground bashfully. He laughed before cupping her face and kissing her hard.

"We'll find a way to see each other soon," he promised.

PART 3

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

@fangirlxwritesx67

RPF:

@smoothdogsgirl

JENSEN TAGS:

@akshi8278

@jerkbitchidjitassbutt

@slamminmine

@deanjensenficsandart

@woodworthti666

@charred-angelwings

[commodorecliche]

I'll be honest I'm not into He Tian/ Mo since so much of it from early on has been very physically abusive and i get that most of the fandom disregards that as "boys will be boys" but for me personally it's not an appealing relationship. But honestly you do you @ the people who are into that. I'm just gonna stay 10 miles away from it.

like... my biggest issue isn’t even that it’s such a toxic relationship (and let’s be honest here, it is toxic and unhealthy as it stands right now). my real issue is how so many fans reacts to the ship and say that clearly unhealthy behavior is cute and romantic. 

(buckle up kids, this post got long. i ramble a lot about them as characters and their relationship and their motivations) If you wanna skip all that, just read the last like... paragraph. 

like there’s literally nothing wrong with shipping and enjoying a toxic ship. nothing at all wrong with that. we are allowed to like things that are less than pure. we all have things that we like that are wrong/dark/problematique/whatever. but at the same time, i think it’s important that we are able to recognize that toxicity and not romanticize it just because we personally like it. i think it’s important to go “hey, I like this ship. It’s not healthy right now, it’s pretty toxic, maybe it won’t be in the future, maybe it will improve. but I recognize right now that it is unhealthy, and I still like it. and that’s okay.”

again, there’s nothing wrong with that!! human beings like dark things. it’s just how we are. but just because someone likes horror movies doesn’t mean it’s okay to go out and murder people. it’s important to go “wow, i love this fictional murderer! but i know that murder is still wrong.” just like we, as a fandom should say “hey, i love this fictional ship! but i know that they’re dysfunctional, toxic, and very unhealthy right now!”

but this fandom doesn’t really do that. in fact, it would seem that many aggressively don’t do that. many in this fandom will be outright rude to anyone who dares to say that tia/nshan’s behavior isn’t cute/romantic, will argue aggressively with anyone who says that mo is obviously uncomfortable and not just blushing cause of ‘gay panic’ or whatever. and that’s really unfortunate. because like i said, just because something is unhealthy doesn’t mean you can’t like it??

every single unhealthy, toxic, abusive thing he tian does to mo is seen by many fans as “cute” and just he tian “showing how much he cares”. mo’s constant discomfort at the things he tian does is, at best, ignored, and at worst, misconstrued. for example: a while back someone posted a picture set of the times mo was “blushing” because of he tian - but really it was just a picture collage of all the times that he tian has done something weird/unwanted/creepy and has made mo aggressively uncomfortable. 

and the things that are abusive (like the physical violence) just get swept under the rug by many fans. like, holy hell, he tian threw mo off of a bridge and into a creek. and the fandom just kind of ignores it and INSTEAD decides to focus on the panels after that scene in which he tian jumps down into the water and lifts mo out of the water as if it’s the cutest thing in the world he could’ve done. nevermind that he tian literally threw him off a bridge. he tian going down to ‘help’ mo doesn’t change the fact that he tian was the one who threw him off the bridge in the first place. (and let’s be clear of the reason why he tian threw mo off a bridge: it was because mo threw his phone and bag into the water. but the reason mo threw he tian’s phone and bag was because he tian had tons of creepy photos that he had secretly taken of mo. that’s not cute. that’s creepy and stalkerish. it’s a huge invasion of privacy to just take tons of secret photos of someone and mo is visibly unnerved by it. no wonder mo threw his phone and bag off the bridge! if it were a girl that he tian had done that to?? he would have been CRUCIFIED by fans. but because it’s two guys, somehow it’s cute now? 

my point is that... he tian and mo have a lot of problems. a LOT. but the fandom just doesn’t want to acknowledge it, opting instead to pretend that this relationship is okay and good as it stands right now. and what really sucks about that is that because of the fact that they are so dysfunctional right now, that means that they, as characters, have a huge opportunity for growth. they’re in a pretty bad place right now, but that means that they can only really go up. but we need to recognize that we’re sitting at the bottom of the barrel right now with this ship. and this fandom needs to recognize that they have to grow out of what they currently are in order to ever progress into something better.

there’s nothing wrong with liking this ship. i want to emphasize that again. because seriously, i mean that. i like tia/nshan. i have high hopes for the ship (even though OX continues to disappoint me. always one step forward, ten steps back with their progress it seems. that gets extremely frustrating when you think some progress has been made in their relationship and it just reverts back to toxicity but i digress). but i recognize that just because i personally like this ship and want them to eventually be happy/normal, that doesn’t mean the ship is without problems. it’s got loads of problems. and i’m just not sure why so many fans elect to ignore that fact? it’s shocking to me what this fandom will call cute or romantic. and maybe that’s my age speaking. i know many fans of this manhua are younger and just might not realize that this unhealthy behavior and not “cute” and don’t realize that this behavior will eventually have to stop if he tian and mo are ever to become something healthy.

now for some character analysis that no one asked for but that i am gunna type up anyway: 

right now, he tian and mo are 15-16 years old. they’re bratty, angry teenagers dealing with a lot of crap in their lives and neither of them have really had... great role models or easy lives that would lead to them being well-adjusted human beings. i think, given those circumstances, some of the unhealthy behavior they show makes sense. a lot of it can, i think, be chalked up to 1) their age and 2) their backgrounds. 

he tian is aggressively (and i mean AGGRESSIVELY) possessive and protective and i think it stems from the fact that he grew up learning that if you wanted something and wanted to keep it safe, you had to physically demand it and cling to it. but at the same time, he tian also grew up rich. let’s be real here: he’s spoiled. and he’s very accustomed to getting what he wants. it’s not a stretch to see that mentality extend to people he wants. and what he wants right now is mo. and he just kind of... does whatever he wants and whatever he thinks is necessary in order to exert control over mo and keep him close by. because he wants him, he wants to “protect” him (in his own weird way). and so he goes about showing this heavy affection in an extremely unhealthy and abusive way, complete with unwanted sexual advances, stalker tendencies, physical aggression, and manipulative behavior. i think... he believes his motivations to be good (because in his head he definitely cares for mo and wants to help him), but the way he goes about it is literally awful. again, if this were a girl instead of mo, we’d all be telling her to RUN. 

mo is a little harder to peg just because we still only know snippets of his past. but obviously, he’s had an absent father, he has had to become extremely self-reliant, has never wanted to depend on anyone or “owe” anyone anything. he was ostracized by his classmates when he was young: after going through an extremely traumatic experience (the restaurant scene, and then his father going to jail), his classmates branded him “bad” and not someone who could be trusted. mo then found friendship in the only place he could - with the other outcasts, and fell into the gang. every friendship mo has ever had has been toxic and physically aggressive and controlling. i mean, fuck, she li stuck dirty, dull thumbtacks into his earlobes as punishment for him standing up for another gang member. mo seems like he’s aching to have an actual sense of Self. he tian is... just another ‘friend’ who’s hurtful to him and is controlling over him. not to mention, we have no idea about mo’s sexuality. he obviously seems to have some deep rooted self-hatred and homophobia (the kid freaked out about getting a shot at the hospital in his buttcheek for god’s sake and then had a nightmare in which bullies at school said sexually aggressive things to him because he got a shot in his buttcheek). but at the same time he’s also obviously got some kind of... weird... i don’t know how to say it because it’s not affection, but... perhaps fascination with he tian. i’m not sure. because in his dream, he tian is the one that comforts him. and later on we see that mo even goes to help and ‘comfort’ he tian when he’s having nightmares too. but he’s also still aggressively uncomfortable with the things he tian does around him and the things he tian forces upon him. 

it’s just... it’s complicated.

and because of that, right now you can’t say that their relationship and the things they do to each other are cute... or happy... or well-adjusted... or even a relationship. right now, really all we have is a deeply dysfunctional acquaintanceship that is being progressed by... control and manipulation. and yes, i have high hopes that... mo will find his sense of self and will discover what he feels and what he wants. and i have high hopes that he tian will realize how he’s behaving and will come to understand that the things he does are not... good or kind... especially to someone you supposedly like and want to protect. and i mean, maybe we’re seeing a little bit of that? i mean, in the last couple chapters, we saw mo willingly asking he tian for a pair of black studs, that’s a pretty big forward motion, and mo being willing to tag along with he tian to go get them. he tian didn’t force him to climb the wall and skip class (definitely a departure from his usually forcefulness), mo went willingly. so... maybe right now we’re seeing a little development. but... like i said, OX tends to go... one step forward and ten steps back with them, and i’m afraid that the next time we see them interacting it’s going to be something violent or forceful or insulting or stalkerish. so, i just don’t know. 

but... really the long and short of it is that i wish more fans would look at tia/nshan and say “i like this ship but i recognize that it’s not healthy currently”. because that’s the truth.