#I'M SORRY FLEANCE

[gayest-classiclit]

ROUND 2 - survivors

[wyllzel]

ok also i tested the "kill balthazar by exposing him to the undead justiciars" method and it worked LOL 😁 i took screen recordings so i might stitch something together (#proof lol) but basically... (spoilers below)

i used rogue/ranger astarion to trigger the undead justiciar combat outside of balthazar's office

instead of letting balthazar chill in his office, i (astarion) lockpicked his office door and forced balthazar to join the combat

i (astarion) darted inside of balthazar's office and turned invisible

balthazar and his cronies (medic ghouls, flesh) joined the fight against the undead justiciars

i (astarion) waited until everyone vacated balthazar's office, then closed the door

15 rounds of combat passed (~30 minutes IRL), during which the umbral portals summoned a small army of justiciars, who slowly whittled down balthazar, flesh, and the medic ghouls

combat continued because astarion was still registered as a combat participant - but the only enemies left were the justiciar crusader (aka the giant justiciar) and 6 undead justiciars

i got XP for killing balthazar (75 XP i believe) even tho no one in my party landed any damage against him, and for killing the justiciar crusader (200+ XP). i can't remember if i got XP for killing the random justiciars or flesh :'D i don't think i got any for the ghouls...

all in all, this was a much easier fight than facing balthazar in the shadowfell or ambushing him in his office :'D

[lizardrosen]

I just think it would be cute if Laertes and Osric bickered like an old married couple.

“What do you MEAN you think the Tarzan soundtrack is bad????”

“It’s NOT bad. It’s just overrated.”

“Overrate-??? I am going to have CHILDREN with you someday and what am I going to tell them when their father doesn’t understand the lyrical genius of ‘Strangers Like Me???’”

“Babe, there are BETTER Disney soundtracks, I’m SORRY. I guess our children will have to accept that their other father is too blinded by nostalgia to see that!”

Which one is which? That’s just up to interpretation :]

GOD, how do you just live in my brain, this is exactly what they're like! Hamlet and Osric are even more like this, and in the verse where all three of them are dating sometimes they'll come to him with some dispute and he's just like "you two are so stupid, you're saying basically the exact same thing as each other" and then they call a temporary truce to turn on because he's So Fucking Wrong. (they're fighting about like. the correct way to tie a windsor knot, something that super doesn't matter)

for this particular argument, it's tough to choose. on the one hand laertes likes super cheesy things and is often blinded by nostalgia. but on the other hand, osric's tastes are so carefully manufactured so he'll look competent and put together, but also a little bit clueless so he doesn't have to work as hard at the office, but in private and with people he trusts, he's just as fueled by sentiment and nostalgia, and would be willing to admit to laertes that he likes the tarzan soundtrack even though it's "cringe".

i think i'm going with laertes is pro-tarzan, because i once saw a production of macbeth where during the intermission music fleance sang 'son of man' and in that context it became this ballad of a son who had lost his dad and had to figure out how to carry on now that his life had changed and, well.

[indigo-skies2315]

That’s it, everyone else can go home. This is the best yet. 

[source]

[dearestbanquo]

Macbeth Lockdown Part 4

Malcolm, in the kitchen with Lady Banq: I've never seen Banquo cry like that before.

Lady Banq: He usually only cries when he can't get pot roast or Beth hurts his feelings.

Malcolm: I'm sorry, what?

Lady Banq: My husband is a clown, but I love him.

Malcolm: I was not expecting to hear that from you.

Beth, standing in the middle of the fort, which has consumed most of the room: I'M THE KING OF SCOTLAND!

Lady Mac: You wish.

Fleance: Actually, I'm the king of Scotland!

Duff: You're both very wishful thinkers. The King's son is alive and well on the kitchen.

Lady Mac, under her breath: Not for long.

Banquo, staring at her in fear: What?

Lady Mac, leaning closer: You're next.

Banquo, scooting slowly before sprinting out the tent: MAUD! MAUD! I DON'T FEEL SAFE HERE!

Beth: Gruoch, what did you do to that poor man?

Lady Mac: Nothing.

Banquo, clinging to his wife in the kitchen: I think Lady Macbeth is gonna hurt meeee

Lady Banq: (sighs) Do you want some cookies?

Banquo, standing up a little straighter: Yes please.

Malcolm, to himself: Oh my gosh, he is a child.