#I’ve started series five and I��m scared

[callsign-joyride]

Don't Fear The Reaper - Chapter Three

Description: Weird things start happening around the camp. You start putting the pieces together.

Content warnings: For the fic; violence with a knife, blood, death, gore, sexual themes, drug use. For this chapter; blood, animal death, gore, descriptions of a dead animal, fear.

Pairing: Daisy Jones & The Six x OC Donna Smith

Series Masterlist Playlist Taglist Previous Chapter

June 13, 1978 All of the kids huddled in the mess hall as The Phantom Tollbooth played on the projector. You were originally going to go swimming at night but rain was in the forecast and none of you wanted to risk it. You had made it about twenty-five minutes into the movie before Astrid walked up to Daisy and asked if she could take her to the bathroom. Karen and Graham were in the kitchen, pouring M&M’s into disposable bowls when you all heard a loud bang from somewhere outside.

“What was that?” Camila asked.

“I don’t know. Probably fireworks,” Billy said.

“Dude, we’re in the middle of butt fuck nowhere. I don’t think that was a firework,” Warren said.

“Let’s just stop talking about it, okay? You’re gonna scare the kids,” you said. Warren nodded his head and put his arm over your chair. You didn’t pay any attention to the fact that he nestled his face into your neck. Daisy and Astrid came back in and Daisy looked freaked out.

“You guys heard that, too, right?”

She felt relieved when you all nodded your heads, but Karen said that you weren’t going to talk about it in front of the kids. Once the movie was over, you and Camila stayed to clean up as rumbles of thunder could be heard. You were standing on the deck of the mess hall and talking, but Camila kept on looking at something behind me.

“Someone’s about to come and scare me, right? That’s why you keep on looking over my shoulder?”

“No… I think there’s something in front of the art cabin.”

You swiftly turned around and you could see the faint outline of something under the dim porchlight by the door of the cabin. You started to run over to your cabin to check it out, and Camila was trying to keep up with you. She came to a screeching halt right as you did, nearly crashing into you in the process. The sight made you feel overcome with nausea as you shined your flashlight on it.

“Stay here. I’m gonna go get Warren and Billy,” you said, with your voice barely above a whisper. 

You frantically knocked on the door and Warren stood there in a Star Wars shirt and basketball shorts.

“Woah, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said. The roof of your mouth was beginning to feel dry.

“There’s… There’s something at my cabin. I need your help.”

“Okay. Alright, kids. I’ve gotta go help Miss Donna with something but I’ll be back. I’m turning off the lights now and I want you all asleep by the time I get back.”

“Is she okay?” One of the little boys asked. Warren didn’t say anything as he turned off the light and walked out into the warm night air. You grabbed Bily from his cabin and anxiously walked to Camila. As soon as Warren saw what it was, he pulled you behind him.

“What is it?” Billy asked.

“I think it’s a dead deer. It looks like it was shot first but the head is obviously gone,” Camila said. Billy stepped forward and crouched down to swipe his fingers on the blood-soaked wood.

“This is fresh. I’ll go get Graham and Eddie. We’re moving it now so that the kids don’t see.”

“But the-,”

“We’ll scrub off the porch. Maybe put a rug over it for now. Donna, it’s okay. Warren, can you take them back? I don’t know how long this’ll take.”

Warren nodded his head and took your hand. Camila followed shortly behind, but none of you said anything. Billy, Graham, and Eddie dragged the deer behind the cabin and threw a tarp over it. It was too dark to be able to see the blood on the porch so Billy went inside of the cabin in search for a rug that was big enough to cover the stain for now. In between the floor boards, there was what looked like a folded up piece of paper. Graham bent down to pick it up, and his heart sank at what the message said. When Billy came back outside with a large rug, Graham passed him the note with shaky hands.

“Probably just some stupid prank. Everyone knows what happened back in 48.”

Warren walked you into your room and closed the door as you sat on the bed to take your shoes off. You put a tank top on and sat next to him with your head on his shoulder. The anxiety from what you had seen was finally starting to pass. Warren had his hand on your thigh as Because The Night by Patti Smith started to play on the clock radio. This time, your heart wasn’t beating from fear or anxiety, it was beating from excitement as Warren put a hand on your cheek and slowly moved closer to you. 

You were interrupted when Camila knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for a response.

“Sorry! I didn’t know you two were… Nevermind. I was gonna ask if I could eat some of your ice cream.”

“Yeah, go ahead. But you really didn’t need to open my door like that.”

Camila nodded her head and closed the door. You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks as you turned to Warren.

“Uh, I should probably go. We both need to sleep and someone’s gonna need to clean out the pool in the morning. Just try and get some sleep, okay?”

You nodded and watched Warren leave before closing your window and turning the fan on. You could barely sleep. When you were able to keep your eyes closed long enough to welcome sleep, nightmares about the dead deer and the slasher from thirty years ago haunted you. Deciding that you’d just have to deal with being tired, you gave up on the idea of sleeping at around four in the morning. It was noticeable at breakfast when you almost fell asleep over your bowl of cereal.

“Donna, you good? You seem exhausted,” Daisy said.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just couldn’t really sleep last night, is all.”

“You know you can go and take a nap, right? We’re gonna take the kids to play kickball so you won’t be bothered,” Warren said.

“I’ll be fine, I just need another cup of coffee.”

Everyone took your word for it and you all walked out to the scout cabins after cleaning up from breakfast. Camila had to stay in the nurse’s cabin in case one of the kids got hurt but she gave you her camera to take pictures of everyone having fun. The game went well, and Billy showed all of the kids how to do archery before sitting with you and Eddie. None of you were paying attention to the blocked off trail, but you didn’t think that you needed to. That was until you heard a shriek and saw Astrid running out of there with tears rolling down her face.

“What’s wrong?” You asked as she ran up to you.

“There was a man back there and I followed him and then he scared me! Miss Donna, I wanna go home!” You immediately gave her a hug and stood up.

“I’ll take you to Miss Camila and she’ll check you out, okay? I’ll call your parents later and we’ll see if we can get you home. I think we’re having s’mores again tonight.”

“Will you be at the s’mores?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. I’ve gotta call your parents and see if anyone else wants to go home, but we’ll see.”

“I’m not allowed to be there when you call my parents?”

“I don’t think so. This is a pretty serious situation so it’s going to be a grown-ups only conversation. But I’ll let you know what they say. Let’s walk back to the camp, okay? Eddie, do me a favor and see if there’s someone back there who shouldn’t be.”

You ended up having to carry Astrid back to the camp. She genuinely seemed frightened, but you wouldn’t have minded if she felt too tired to walk. When you walked into the infirmary, Camila stood up and walked over to Astrid to ask her what was going on. As she told her story a second time, Camila glanced up at you and sighed.

“Come sit over here. Miss Donna is gonna get you a popsicle and bag of chips, okay?”

Eddie walked over to the trail and stepped over the neon orange “DO NOT CROSS” tape. He walked about 100 yards into the trail and stopped to look around for a moment. Billy and Karen kept an eye on the area until he came back a few minutes later.

“I didn’t see anyone. What if she’s lying?” He asked. Warren got up and walked over to him.

“I don’t think she is.”

“Come on, man. She’s a kid. Kids lie. I didn’t see anyone or anything that seemed out of place. She probably just needed an excuse to go home.”

“She looked terrified, so either she’s really good at believing her own lie or she actually saw someone back there. He could’ve run away or something, y’know. It’s not impossible.”

Astrid finally calmed down after she ate her popsicle. Camila said that physically, she was fine. She was obviously pretty freaked out, but before you left, she tugged on your arm and looked at you and Camila.

“Am I gonna be in trouble? I know I wasn’t supposed to go back there and I’m sorry,” she said.

“Oh, no, you won’t be in trouble. We’ll make sure of it and I’ll make sure this never happens again. Do you wanna go back to kickball or do you wanna go and color a picture in my cabin?”

“Color a picture.”

The other kids kept on asking if Astrid wass okay on the walk back to the camp. No one really knew what to say. Astrid seemed to want to stay with you for the rest of the day, eating lunch and dinner at the same table as you and the other counselors. A few other kids walked up to you during clean up saying that they also wanted to go home. Everyone was freaked out after what happened with Astrid. 

While they were eating s’mores and singing songs by the campfire, you and Camila pulled forms and started making phone calls. Teddy had said to call him in an emergency, and when you did that, the line gave you the busy tone. You tried to call three more times with the same tone playing.

“What’s going on?” Camila asked. She wasn’t going to start calling parents until someone talked to Teddy. It was part of protocol.

“It’s not ringing,” you said.

“Move over. Either he disconnected his phone for whatever reason or we have a problem.”

You watched as she pressed 9-1-1 and you both anxiously waited for someone to pick up. She looked like she was about to cry as she put the phone back on the hook.

“We have a problem.”

The wait for everyone to put the kids to bed and get to the infirmary was painfully long. Camila sat on one of the beds and you paced around the room as they all finally walked in. Warren walked over to you and gave you a hug before anyone asked what was going on. As Camila explained the situation, Eddie walked over to the phone and started to dial random numbers.

“So we’re trapped here,” he said.

“We have our cars and the bus that the kids were on to get here. We’re not trapped.”

“But we can’t call anyone for help. Parents don’t know that we’re trying to get kids home, and we can’t all leave at once because there are some kids who want to stay. I think she might’ve been lying about seeing someone in the woods because I didn’t see anything, but something is definitely going on. Smeone cut the phone lines, for fucks sake. It doesn’t seem like a prank anymore.”

“So what are we gonna do tonight?” Karen asked.

“Go back to our cabins, act like everything is normal. We’ll get this figured out in the morning,” you said.

“You want us to lie to the kids,” Daisy said.

“Not lie, but you shouldn’t tell them the truth, either. I don’t wanna scare them any more than they probably already are. Just say that we’re staying away from the scout cabins. Don’t mention the phones, though.”

“I think there’s something that you all need to know,” Graham said.

“And that is?”

“Last night, with the deer, there was a note. We shrugged it off as a stupid prank because pretty much everyone knows what happened here but now… I don’t know.”

“What did it say?” Eddie asked.

“That he was gonna kill all of us.”

The room went silent as you clapped a hand over your mouth and started to cry. Warren wrapped his arms around you and leaned over you as a way to hug you. You started to sob into his chest and Karen joined in on the hug. Camila had a death grip on Billy’s hand and Daisy was pacing around the room. Eddie started to argue with Graham and Billy about what the new plan was.

“We’re not gonna die! None of us are gonna die! So, everyone, let’s just quiet down and find something to agree on,” Daisy yelled.

“We need to get this to the police, like yesterday. We also need to get all of the kids out of here. I say that if he’s coming for us, let him. But he’s not touching the kids. If he was the man that Astrid saw, he already messed with them. That’s where I draw the line,” Karen said.

“Okay, Graham and I will go to the police first thing in the morning. We need to get the bus running, too. Protecting those kids is our top priority,” Eddie said.

At the entrance of the camp, the man parked his truck to block it off and broke off the top of the ignition key. The parking lot was somewhat out of sight from the camp and everyone was distracted, so it was easy for him to pop the hood of Eddie’s red ‘75 Pontiac and take the battery out. With the battery under one arm and his tools under the other, he walked back to the truck and slashed all of the tires with his pocket knife before making the trek back to the cottage.

Taglist:

@idontcare-11 @kmc1989

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Meet Me In The Hallway, Chapter Four:

pairing: frankie morales x f!reader

rating: M (lots of sexual pining but nothing explicit in this chapter, weed consumption, talks of past addiction, one mention of frankie’s past as a government paid pew-pewer, 1 asshole male interaction, alcohol consumption, dick talk, foul language)

wc: 4.4k

series masterlist | frankie masterlist

It had been three days since the bathroom incident. Three days of the two of them acting like nothing ever happened. Three days of absolute torture.

Dylan couldn’t sleep, not with the memory of his mouth on hers playing over and over in her mind, not with the way she swore she could still feel his fingers curling into her, the mere imagining bringing her close to the edge but it was never enough to finish the job. Nothing was, in fact. Not her hand, not the toy in her nightstand, nothing. Nothing but him would suffice from now on, but she refused to be the first one to break, not when he seemed to be doing fine without her.

Needing relief, Dylan grabbed a joint she kept hidden away in her nightstand, her eyes narrowing at the bullet vibrator that couldn’t manage to do the job as well as her roommate across the hall. With a mildly forceful slam, she closed the drawer and sighed as she slipped her slippers on.

She crept through the hall, twirling the joint in her hand as she walked, but right as she passed the living room to slide open the patio door, the sound of a little girl’s giggles made her freeze in place. Turning around, she spotted Frankie and Rina in the kitchen, a bowl of ice cream beside the five year old as she sat on the kitchen island.

“Can we have a little more?” she asked, lacing her tone with sweetness just to assure she got her way.

“I don’t know, you’ve already—“ Frankie spotted Dylan mid-sentence, his eyes lingered in visible reverence that made her golden skin flush. Frankie seemingly realized himself, his eyes flickering to the sundae he had finished with his daughter's help. “We’re, uh, having ice cream, you want some?”

“Definitely in a little,” you subtly held up the joint in your hand, causing his brows to raise and his head to nod in understanding. “Ri, make sure your dad saves me some.”

“Okay, but hurry, daddy’s gonna eat it all if you take too long,” she replied, earning an eye roll from her father before he scooped a bit of whipped cream from the bowl and dotted it on her nose.

“I promise I’ll save you some,” he offered, looking back to Dylan with the kind of smile that reminded her why she needed the help of weed to relax in the first place. It seemed Frankie was hell bent on winding her up to the point of madness. With a nod, she turned around and slid the patio door open before walking out to the furthest corner of the yard to do her smoking.

By the time she entered the house again, she was already in the clouds, a warm, happy buzz fixing a permanent smile onto her face as she found her way into the now-empty kitchen. Dead set on getting the ice cream she was promised, she opened the freezer door and found the pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

“Hey,” Frankie appeared out of nowhere as she closed the door, making her jump. “Shit, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, you’re good,” she sighed out the remainder of her fright, resting her hand over her heart as she walked the pint over to the island and set it down before reaching in the utensil drawer to fish out a spoon. “Rina crash already?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, pulling up a seat at the island and resting his elbows on the countertop. “So…we haven’t gotten the chance to talk about what happened yet.”

“No, we haven’t,” she agreed as she leaned forward onto the island and stuck her spoon in the pint to pick up some of the strawberry ice cream. “Was starting to think it was a hallucination.”

“No, it was real,” he smirked at the memory. “I just…I guess I’ve been a little nervous to say anything. Didn’t…didn’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Frankie,” she replied, her voice thick with desire. Her eyes fell to his lips, the weed only making her want him more as she watched his tongue swipe over the plumpness of his bottom lip.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” he confessed in a whisper, forcing her eyes to meet his again. She stuck her spoon in her mouth upside down, her eyes remaining locked with his as she slowly sucked it clean, eliciting a deep but soft groan from him. “Have you…been thinking about me?”

“All the time,” she whispered. Frankie swallowed thickly before standing up. He kept his eyes on hers as he rounded the corners of the island until he was turning her to back her against the edge of the countertop. She placed her spoon in the pint and focused her full attention on him, resting one hand on his face with the other laid over his heartbeat. “You finally gonna kiss me, Frankie?”

He nodded, a smile flickering on his lips as his eyes fell to hers. Leaning in slow enough to make her whine, he was just about to crash their lips together when the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs pulled them apart. Frankie turned around, pretending to be making himself a glass of tea while Dylan returned to her ice cream. Will rounded the corner, shirtless and rubbing his stomach, his eyes hardly open.

“What are you two doing awake? It’s what, three a.m.?”

“It’s eleven, man. You just go to bed at eight like an old man,” Frankie replied.

“Which one of you smells like weed?” Will asked next as he opened a cabinet and pulled out a glass before going to the fridge and filling it with water.

“Me,” Frankie replied, taking the heat.

“Aren’t you supposed to be quitting that shit? You have your drug testing for your new job coming up in like two weeks,” he scolded, making Dylan’s stomach churn with guilt.

“Yeah, I know. Last time,” Frankie grumbled, his back still turned as he set the kettle in the stove before turning it on.

“I’ve heard that before,” Will chided with an eye roll. “Just…be responsible, man. For Rina.”

“I know, Will,” he snapped, turning to look at his friend with a stern face. “Go back to bed.”

“Alright,” he sighed, glancing over at Dylan. “Night, Dyl.”

“Night,” she managed, watching him as he walked away before bringing her eyes back to Frankie. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Rather have him bitch at me than you,” he returned from over his shoulder as he watched the kettle heat.

“Well, I wouldn’t.” Dylan placed the lid on the pint of ice cream before putting it back inside the freezer. Frankie remained silent as Dylan walked her spoon over to the sink and washed it. “You didn’t tell me you got a job.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Got the call last week. S’why I haven’t joined you outside in a while. Gotta pass the entry drug test.”

“Well, it’s good that you’re getting back to flying. What’s, uh, your schedule going to be like?” she asked as she dried her hands. Frankie turned to look at her, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned his hip against the counter.

“Busy. Worryingly busy, especially because of Rina,” he sighed. “And…just…I won’t be here very much, you know.”

“This your way of telling me something?”

“Just, you know, I’m not gonna be here a ton,” he replied, his eyes nervous as he searched hers. “I get it if you want to find someone who’s around instead.”

“Is that what you want?” she asked, her brows lacing together.

“Not really, but—“

“Then why say it?” Frankie shook his head and shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “Just want you to have what you deserve.”

“What if I think you’re what I deserve?” she asked, stumping him again. “Because I do. I think you’re what I deserve. What I want.”

“Even if you only get to see me once a week?” Dylan swallowed the longing she felt at the mere thought of him being away from her before answering.

“Yeah.”

Frankie chuckled and shook his head before turning back to the kettle, catching it just before it began to whistle and lifting it off the heat.

“We’ll see,” he muttered. “One day at a time.”

“Yeah.” She walked up behind him and rubbed his shoulder. “One day at a time. Stop making me worry over shit I don’t need to worry about yet. We haven’t even kissed since—“

Frankie surprised her with his lips against hers, his hands strong as they held her waist tightly and carefully, like she was his most prized possession. Pulling away breathless, Frankie leaned his forehead against hers and panted.

“Was that okay?” he asked.

“More than,” she replied. “You…want to come to my room?”

He exhaled as if he was in pain before shaking his head against hers.

“I want to take you out first,” he whispered.

“I don’t care about all that—“

“I do,” he interrupted. “I care about it. About you.”

Dylan hadn’t ever been with a man so concerned with giving her what she deserved, she very clearly didn’t know how to handle it.

“Okay,” she breathed out a chuckle. “Well, I’m free whenever.”

“Gotta find a babysitter for Rina first, but maybe this weekend?” He pulled away, his thumb stroking over her hip as he held it. “I’ll be sure to avoid The Cantina.”

“That would be appreciated,” she giggled, looking down at his hands as she peeled them off her hips and intertwined his fingers with hers. “Don't make me wait too long, Morales. It’s torture watching you walk around knowing what these hands are capable of.”

“I won’t,” he promised. “And just so you know, it physically pains me to keep my hands off of you.”

“Well, whenever you’re ready to put them on me, you can,” she purred and he groaned.

“You’re gonna drive me crazy.”

“That’s the goal.”

Morning arrived and Dylan granted herself a day off to recover from her night of restless sleep, her late night talk with Frankie doing little to soothe her yearning. In fact, she wanted him even more now that she knew their time together would be drastically cut once he started work at the airline. But, like the gentleman he was, she had to wait for him to wine and dine her before she got another taste of him—but that didn’t mean she had to play fair in the meantime.

Getting up, Dylan walked over to her vanity and quickly styled her hair in messy, honey-blonde waves before doing her makeup, nothing intense but more than she ever typically wore around the house.

It was September now, but in Tampa, that hardly meant anything. It was still 90 degrees outside and sunny, which meant she could throw on her favorite bikini, a white tank top and denim shorts on to cover it, and head out to the beach for some sun.

Walking out into the hall, the house was already busy and full of life. Santi and Imelda were in the kitchen cooking breakfast and cleaning up simultaneously while Benny and Lennon remained curled up on the sectional watching some reality television show Lennon no-doubt chose on her own.

“Hey,” Dylan greeted Imelda with a smile as she entered the kitchen to pour herself some water.

“Bacon-egg burritos are coming up soon if you wanna wait for ‘em,” she announced in a sing-song tone. “I make the best breakfast burritos.”

“She does!” Benny agreed from the sofa.

“Going anywhere today?” Santi asked as he scrubbed away at the island counter.

“Was gonna go to the beach,” she answered between sips of her cold water. “You guys are welcome to come—“

“Fuck yeah,” Benny sprang up from the sofa with a boyish grin.

“Babe,” Lennon whined at his enthusiasm disrupting her comfortable position.

“You in bebé?” Santi asked Imelda and earned an eager nod. “We’re all in. Frankie and Will are outback waiting for Cassandra and Rina to get back from the grocery store, I’ll go—“

“No—“ Dylan interrupted him quickly, earning an eyebrow raise. “You’re cleaning. I’ll go ask.”

“Uh-huh,” he nodded skeptically. Dylan didn’t stay around to hear his teasing, her feet practically gliding over the tile to the patio door. “Give Frankie’s ass a kiss for me since you’re already—”

She cut him off with the closing of the patio door.

As she stepped out into the backyard, she spotted Will mowing the grass while Frankie trimmed the weeds around the fence with a weed-whacker. His back was sweaty, his gray t-shirt soaked along his spine. To make matters worse, the hat he nearly always kept on was now off, his chocolate waves also soaked with sweat from the sun.

She attempted to call out his name, but the loud buzz of both machines drowned her voice out, leaving her standing on the patio with her hands on her hips. Eventually, Frankie shut off the weed-whacker and turned to walk to the patio, finally noticing Dylan standing there with a tilted head and a smirk.

“Finally, you notice I’m here!” she called over the still-whirring buzz of the lawn mower. Frankie smiled to himself as he walked over to the patio to grab a half-drank bottle of water sitting on the table.

“You look good,” he commented with a smirk as his eyes raked over her form. “Going somewhere?”

“The beach,” she replied, smiling hopefully. “Everyone inside is going too. Came to ask if you guys wanted to join.”

“Yeah, uh—“ Frankie turned to Will and whistled loud enough to earn his attention. Will turned the mower off and wiped his face with his t-shirt before walking over. “Guess everyone’s going to the beach. You and Cass wanna join?”

“Wish we could but we’re going to lunch with her parents, but you all go get drunk for me,” he replied before going into the house, leaving Frankie and Dylan alone again.

“This some sort of torture thing?” he asked, pulling up a seat at the table. Dylan joined him, sitting in the chair across from him.

“I have no idea what you mean,” she shrugged and batted her eyes innocently.

“Oh? You have no idea that me having to watch you walk around in a bikini all day is actual torture?” he asked, leaning his elbows onto the table as he gave her a grin.

“Nope. Just a bikini…a tiny, string bikini,” she purred, sliding her fingertip beneath the string over her collarbone supporting her bikini top. Frankie shook his head at her and licked his lips.

“Not fair,” he grumbled as he sat back in his chair. “Should torture you by not going.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll be just fine without you there,” she retorted, attempting to sound nonchalant. Frankie only half-chuckled before standing up. “W-where are you going?”

“To change,” he replied, as if it was obvious. “Not going to risk you hitting it off with some lifeguard before I get to take you out on a real date.”

“Yeah, yeah. So far all you’re all talk, no action,” she teased, catching him as he reached for the patio door.

“Guess we’ll see,” he winked.

Dylan bit her lip as she watched him disappear into the house, her smile reaching her eyes as she sat there smitten as she ever was. Whatever this game they were playing was, she liked it. It was fun and exciting and so fucking torturous.

Frankie was sweating as he sat beneath the shade of the pop up tent Santi brought along to the beach and it had nothing to do with the 90 degree weather. He sat on a beach chair watching Dylan play in the sand with Rina, helping her learn how to play horseshoes. He tried playing too, just ten or so minutes ago, but physically couldn’t take being so close to her when all she had on was a tiny, barely fucking there white bikini on, her golden skin glowing in contrast to the fabric and blue sea behind her.

And he wasn’t the only one staring.

Frankie watched from the comfort of his isolation as an obvious gym rat walked across the beach from where his own party was set up to come say hello to Dylan. She seemed to be nervous over the interaction, keeping her eyes on the sand or on Rina as she tossed the horseshoes at the metal pole sticking out of the sand. Finding his courage, he decided he’d come over and offer her an out, if she wanted it, from this conversation.

“You work out?” Frankie overheard the younger guy, probably around twenty-five if he had to take a guess, ask. Dylan chuckled and shook her head in response.

“No,” she replied. “Not a masochist like that.”

“What’s that?”

Frankie couldn’t help but chuckle at the guy’s lack of vocabulary, earning Dylan’s attention.

“Hey,” she chirped, moving closer to him and further from the stranger. “You see the progress I made with her?”

“Yeah,” Frankie smiled and nodded, his eyes flickering to her friend who remained. When she gave him a widened stare and a subtle nudge of her head, he took his cue to intervene. “Hey man, you need something?”

“Nah, was just coming over to say hi to your sister,” he replied. Frankie didn’t fail to notice the way his eyes combed over Dylan’s body hungrily, like he’d pounce on her at any moment.

“I’m actually gonna just get back to my boyfriend,” Dylan spoke up, pointing at Frankie as she turned to the guy. Frankie felt his stomach full with butterflies at the title, even if it was only granted to get her out of this unwanted interaction.

“Boyfriend?” he chuckled, as if the mere thought of the two of them being together was preposterous. Frankie thought it was too. Dylan was beautiful, and not in a small-town way. She could make any head turn in any room anywhere, and Frankie…well, he was a shaggy ex-coke addict and former killer for the US government. Not exactly the kind of people anyone would think to put together.

“Listen,” Dylan started, her polite smile now gone as she folded her arms and glared at the young man. “I’m not interested. So, you can go back to your friends.”

“Crazy fucking bitch,” he muttered as he turned to walk away.

Frankie maintained his cool, growing docile in his thirty-six years, it seemed. A part of him wished he was still twenty-something and brave like an idiot so that this juice head could learn a lesson, but he reckoned his daughter and roommates wouldn’t care much for all of that.

“Sorry,” Dylan turned to Frankie and mumbled an apology, causing his brows to furrow.

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything,” he whispered back, not wanting Rina to overhear and get curious.

“Daddy!” Rina interrupted Dylan before she could reply, tugging on the hem of his t-shirt. “I wanna swim.”

“Why don’t you go with Uncle Benny and Lennon? They’re swimming, baby.” Frankie pointed into the water where Benny was currently splashing Dylan’s younger sister.

“I don’t wanna swim with them, I wanna swim with you,” she replied, frowning up at her father. Frankie sighed and nodded, sweeping her curls back before whispering an “okay”.

“Go grab your floaties, they’re under the shade,” he ordered, watching as his little girl went sprinting up the beach before turning back to Dylan. “I’m sorry that guy was a fucking prick, Dyl. I would’ve said something if Rina—“

“No, you’re fine,” she insisted, giving him a smile. “You coming over was all the help I needed. I can tell a dude to fuck off myself, but it’s nice to know I have someone in case—“

“Case the steroids takeover,” he joked, earning a chuckle.

“Yeah,” she hummed, eyes lingering on his. “Well, hey, I must look decent…to attract an ‘alpha’ male like him, I mean.”

“Now you’re just playing with me,” he rolled his eyes and smirked as Rina came running back up to him with her floaties on her biceps. Frankie scooped her up and perched her on his hip as she started squirming with excitement. “Come on bebecita, let’s get this outta your system.”

“Are you coming, Dyllie?” she asked as Frankie started to walk off towards the water.

“Do you want me to?” Dylan asked and Frankie tensed. Now she was not only going to be in that bikini, but she was going to get wet in it, too? He wasn’t sure how much more he could take of this torture. “You know what, Ri, I think I’m just going to go over and help Uncle Santi and Imelda with the hot dogs.”

Frankie breathed a sigh of relief and continued on towards the water with his daughter mumbling a complaint over Dylan’s rejection.

“What, you like Dylan now? I thought you didn’t?” Frankie asked playfully, though he knew his daughter’s initial distrust and reluctance over bonding with her new roommate ended a couple weeks after she’d moved in.

“Daddy, that’s a lie. I love Dyllie,” she scolded her father sternly as they arrived at the water. Frankie apologized with a smirk, his heart growing warm at the knowledge that the woman he’d started to fall for already had the seal of approval from the most important person in his life.

It was then that he decided that all this waiting had to end. He needed to make things happen while he still had all this free time to spend with Dylan, because soon things would be hectic and crazy and too stressful to try and start up something lasting, which is exactly what he wanted this thing between him and his roommate to become.

Back at home, the evening dwindled into something warm and content, the entire household congregated outside in the freshly manicured backyard. Will grilled steaks and corn on the cob with the help of Santi since Imelda had gone home for an early night. Benny and Lennon sat at the patio table playing blackjack, their laughter sounding out through the yard, bringing a smile to Dylan’s face as she sat on the swing set of the small playground Frankie had built for his daughter during the first few weeks of having her back with him. Dylan couldn’t have felt more content, her belly full of hot dogs and beer, watching Frankie laying in the grass with his daughter pointing up at the stars that had just barely become visible in the twilight sky.

“Dyl!” Lennon called, pulling her from her daze. “Come here!”

Dylan got up and walked past Frankie, shooting him a wink as she walked over to the table and sat down beside Benny.

“Settle an argument,” Lennon started.

“Okay,” Dylan chuckled.

“Frankie’s dick—it’s average size, right?” Lauren continued, causing Dylan’s eyes to widen at the unexpected question.

“Uh—“

“I’ve seen it,” Benny argued. “Not for very long and not…ya know, fuckin’ hard, but I saw it. I know it’s above average.”

“I—I wouldn’t know,” Dylan shrugged, trying not to blush too hard at the subject that she’d given plenty of thought to in private but never in public. “Haven’t seen it yet.”

“Felt left out.” Frankie appeared at the table and took the seat on the other side of Dylan. She couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face as he scooted his chair back in much closer to hers than it had been before. “What’re we talking about?”

“Nothing,” Benny answered, eyeing Lennon with a smirk.

“Frankie, can I ask you something?” Lennon leaned over the table a bit, a mischievous smirk growing on her face as she watched her sister glare at her in warning.

“Shoot,” he shrugged.

“What’s like, in your opinion of course, the average dick size?”

Dylan turned to Frankie and watched as he choked on his beer before composing himself.

“Uh, I don’t know. Average is relative,” he replied, his eyes glancing over at Dylan who was fully turned to face him. “Like five or six inches, I don’t know. Why?”

“Five or six hard? Or five or six flaccid?” Benny probed.

“In your case, hard,” Frankie retorted, earning a scoff from his friend and a laugh from Dylan.

“But…in your case?” Lennon continued.

“Len,” Dylan snapped.

“Hey, you need another beer?” Frankie asked Dylan with a tap on her shoulder as he stood up.

“Yeah, I’ll just join you.” Benny and Lennon whistled as the pair walked into the house, causing Will and Santi to join in with their own hollering.

“Jesus,” Frankie sighed as he slid the patio door shut, silence falling over the house. “Like living with a bunch of middle schoolers.”

“I’m sorry about Lennon.” Dylan opened the fridge and pulled out two beers while Frankie took a seat on the sectional. “She’s obsessed with your dick size apparently. Seems to think you’re small, but Benny disagrees.”

“What do you think?” he asked, eyes locked on her as she walked his beer over and sat down beside him with her own. She hugged her legs up to her chest and smirked, shrugging.

“All I know is you’re good with your hands. Long as you have that down, you’ll get the job done,” she answered, bringing out that dimple of his when she reached her foot over to nudge his thigh.

“So,” he started, changing the subject from his manhood to something more pressing. “I was thinking, if you’re still up for it, maybe I could take you out tomorrow? There’s this old drive-in theater that’s playing The Shining, but if that’s not your thing—“

“No, I love The Shining,” she interrupted with an excited smile. “I think that sounds like a good plan, Frankie.”

“Yeah?” he grinned through his disbelief at the fact that he was actually going out on a date with this dream of a woman. Dylan giggled and nodded, moving to close the distance between them before resting her head on his shoulder.

“Put a movie on,” she ordered in a whisper. Frankie hummed a “sure thing” and reached over the coffee table to grab the remote, turning the TV on. As he scrolled through Netflix, Dylan cozied up into his side, relishing in the feeling of his arm wrapping around her shoulder. “This feels nice. Feels right.”

“Yeah,” he whispered, smiling to himself. “It feels really right.”

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[jungkxook]

—make it right. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: punk!jungkook / band au / exes-to-lovers au / angst / smut

⟶ words: 11,528

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

⟶ warnings: jungkook has a tongue piercing, oral sex because of said tongue piercing (fem!recieving), more tattooed and long haired jungkook to feed my fantasies, angsty pining clingy sex, also just general soft sex, crying sex lol, riding, creampie, slight praise kink themes, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: here’s my one year blog anniversary present inspired by the first ever fic i posted on here! yes this is technically a sequel to melomaniac but not really. sort of like an alternate universe to the alternate universe but you don’t really have to read one or the other to understand the other. so, i hope you enjoy!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

You swear you’re over Jungkook.

In fact, you would even go so far as to say you hate him ━ but you know that’s not true. It’s just that it’s much easier to believe that if you tell yourself you hate him enough times, then maybe you’ll find a way to fix your broken heart, and the pain in his absence won’t hurt so bad. 

As it turns out, it hardly works.

Seven months since he had left you to travel the world with his band, basking in promised eternal glory and fame and money, and yet even miles and oceans away from where you stand, he’s all you can think about. There’s a myriad of reasons as to why trying to forget him was an useless endeavour. The hardships of trying to forget a cherished life-long friendship you had grown accustomed to was one of them, and those lingering happy moments you had shared with him as lovers however fleeting they may be was another. But then there was the ever present fact that Jungkook and his band were so quick to rise to fame, their names far exceeding the seemingly cramped and small city you had both reigned from, and suddenly the boy you had known forever, and everything special that makes him, was now being shared to hundreds of millions of adoring fans.

You were certain it was all Jungkook ever wanted, the added attention and the pretty girls fawning over him, because he had always been a casanova in many ways despite always promising you that you were the only one for him even before you had started dating. You had told him it wouldn’t work ━ I trust you as my best friend, you had said in a moment of despair, grasping at straws. I don’t have to worry about you breaking my heart. But I don’t know if I can trust you as my boyfriend ━ far before he and his band had been signed to their record label and paraded around the world, when they were still practicing in rented storage units and friends’ garages and rundown local studios, playing gigs anywhere and everywhere from dingy bars to college campus parties, supporting him every step of the way if only because he was your best friend, and he had been so persistent that it would work, chasing after you even when you tried to push him away. I would treat you right, he had urged so ardently late one drunken night after stumbling back to his apartment. I already practically worship the ground you walk on.

And how could you ━ who had already been so madly in love with him but scared of him breaking your heart, scared of losing him, scared of this happening ━ ever resist him? He made love seem so easy, and maybe that’s because it was when you were with him. But now, he was no longer yours; now, he was the world’s, and you were nothing but a mere hazy fragmented memory in his mind, long forgotten, watching from the side of the stage much like you always had from the very start of it all.

“Hey, isn’t this that band?” Jihyo’s voice bursts through your wandering trail of thoughts.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, finding yourself not in the arms of an ex-lover or stuck in a bygone time of months past, but in the cosy and amiable café nearest your campus and frequented by a plethora of your fellow peers. You’re fortunate to find that your other group mates have also become sidetracked, trailing far from the assignment you were all supposed to be working on. Dahyun is perched beside you, chin nestled in the palm of her hand and elbow propped on the table as she scrolls aimlessly through her phone; Jihyo and Taeyong were sat across from you, gossiping fervently about some mutual friend of theirs. You hadn’t known the pair long enough to know much about them or the tragic affair of whoever Mina is for accepting her cheating boyfriend back for the second time, and, likewise, they seem oblivious to your own self-wallowing once you realize what’s caught Jihyo’s sudden attention.

You hear his voice first.

It’s easy to discern, even after all this time and even amongst the muffled chatter and clanking of porcelain and cutlery of those seated around you. The sweet, velvety lull of Jungkook singing throughout the café from the overhead speakers, pretty upbeat melodies and synths mixed with wistful words making up the song he had written for you before he left, before the fame and fans, as a way of telling you how he truly felt about you. It feels like a dream, and maybe that’s because it is, bringing you instantly to another time, and another world. You still remember him showing you the unfinished song for the very first time, curled up next to him in his living room, listening to him serenade you to sleep, humming in places where he hadn’t formed the words yet, strumming along with his acoustic. It was yours and his until he showed the world almost a year ago on their very first show at the Seoul Olympic Stadium in front of thousands of people, as a final desperate act of proclaiming his love for you after a disastrous attempt at a first date that he had begged from you. Just one, he pleaded. To prove it to you that I can be a good boyfriend. And if things don’t work out, we can pretend it never happened and just go back to being us. That’s a promise.

At the time, you had treasured the song. It was beautiful in every way, his love transcending his words and enveloping your heart in pure warmth.

Now, you hate it.

It’s the third time you’ve heard the song that day. Despite avoiding it as best as you could, it seems to find a way to make itself known in your daily life like the nagging nuisance it is. Because fate seemed to enjoy its sadistic behaviour of having the song be one of the main reasons Jungkook and his band had skyrocketed to fame in such a short span of time and, suddenly, Jungkook disappearing from your life meant little when his voice remained as a constant reminder of what could have been, what couldn’t have been, and what fell apart at the already fragile seams. And what was a proclamation of love to you turned into nothing but a fabled tale of lovers. You wonder if people who hear it ever think about where they’ve gone, or who they’ve turned into, or if their love was made to last. You wonder, above all else, if people ever think about it at all.

“Beyond the Scene, right?” Taeyong asks. He seems just as animated to be discussing the song as Jungkook’s voice fades into Jimin’s.

“God, I love this song. It’s so dreamy,” Jihyo lets out a longing sigh as she slumps against her seat. “Y’know, I’m seeing them this Friday. It’s their first time being back in, like, five months.”

“Dude, I’ve been trying to get tickets to see them for months now!” Taeyong gaps incredulously. “How’d you score them?”

“A friend of a friend knows the guy who plays keys,” Jihyo says. “The cute mysterious one.”

“Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah━”

As the pair dive into a passionate discussion about the boys and their first full-length album released under their recently-signed-to label from Columbia Records, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Dahyun almost immediately straightens up, eyes flickering from the pair to you and back again. You’re both fortunate she’s there, having known your past with Jungkook, and despise it a little more, wondering what her pitying gaze must mean.

“Hey, Dahyun. Y/N.” Taeyong’s voice grabs your attention now. “What do you think of these guys? Didn’t some of them used to go to this school?”

“Yeah, I had a few classes with their drummer.” Dahyun waves her hand airly, swiftly brushing over the fact that she did far more than have a “few classes” with any of the boys but was also one of their closest friends. “I think they’re great━” She glances sideways at you one more time. “Hey, maybe we should get back to the assignment now━”

“I had a class with their lead guitarist, Jungkook, last year,” Jihyo continues, her excitement getting the best of her as Dahyun’s voice drowns out in the foreground.

“No way!” This dubious exclamation comes from Taeyong.

“I tried talking to him once but he totally blew me off,” Jihyo says. “Which is fine, because he’s still hot. If I had known he was gonna be a famous rockstar, I’d have tried asking him out a second time━”

Suddenly, you feel sick.

It’s odd to hear two strangers discuss Jungkook’s life while you’re seated across from them, as if you’re nothing more than an outsider to whoever Jungkook has become now. But you can’t stand it anymore. You’re certain you look insane to them when you push your seat back abruptly, the metal legs screeching against the floor as you stand.

“Whoa, what’s wrong━?” Taeyong starts to ask but you’re gone before he can finish the question, murmuring a half-hearted excuse about how you forgot you needed to be somewhere.

You’ve rounded on your heel and have fled from the café before anyone can try to stop you, with nothing but Jungkook’s mellifluous voice fading in the distance as he croons aloud for you in a time long since passed.

You don’t care. Besides, you’re sure Dahyun will cover for you.

The worst part of it all? The dreadful realization that sinks into your mind, and into your heart, beckons the question: who’s to say you aren’t a stranger now to Jungkook’s life altogether?

“So, what are you trying to say?”

You remember the moment so clearly despite wanting nothing more than to forget it all, and the pain associated with it. Because even from then you knew you would always be in love with Jungkook, but you couldn’t have him. It’s hard to remember whose fault it is this time that caused the sudden fight, though random little arguments had been a frequent occurrence nearing the end of your one year relationship more often than not. You hate blaming it all on him, because you were certain you were at fault too. Maybe a little bit wary at times, a little selfish, wanting him all to yourself. Even though you knew he has an obligation to the world, it still hurt when he started making promises he couldn’t keep, blowing you off for soundchecks, or spontaneous interviews, or record label meetings. More and more you could feel the both of you drifting apart, maybe without even meaning for it to happen.

It was just that Jungkook was destined for a lifetime of greatness, and you were starting to think that meant without you.

You had stopped him late one night after he had stumbled home from his and the band’s nightly studio sessions as they worked through recording their debut album as a signed band. Lately, it seemed as if that was all that Jungkook cared about, and while you knew the band meant the world to him and you would always support him in his endeavour, you couldn’t help but feel lesser in comparison. That, and you hated seeing the boy overwork himself to the point of near exhaustion every night if only because their label was so adamant about having the album finished before the month ended.

“You want to, what? Break up?” Jungkook asked, this time more incredulously and less dumbfounded as he had initially been. He didn’t believe you just yet, but you couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking anymore at that point.

“I just figured we could use some time apart,” You had suggested awkwardly. “Just a break.”

He had let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. “Y/N, this is insane.”

You flinched. You remember having to look away, refusing to meet his suddenly sorrowful look. “Is it, Jungkook? I mean… Look at us. We’re falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually. We tried to make it work but maybe we’re on different paths now.”

“But I love you,” Jungkook gasped, exasperated. “Where is this coming from?”

“And I don’t want to have to tie you down for the rest of your life,” You continued on stubbornly, “or make you think you owe me your whole life just because you said you fell in love with me when you were thirteen━”

This seemed to catch Jungkook’s attention. He grew rigid in front of you, a look of wary agony contorting his face. “Is that what this is then? You don’t love me anymore?”

You didn’t respond immediately, instead the dread of the night seemed to finally catch up with you and you had grimaced. You had loved him even then, but the thought of voicing it aloud when you were supposed to be breaking up with him didn’t feel right. The tears began to swell in your throat and blur your vision. Jungkook must have noticed, because he always seems to spot the small things about you that even you miss. Almost instantly, the sour look on his face softened and his gaze turned helpless, with those big puppy-dog eyes that you’ve always been too fond of. He closed the distance between you at once, warm hands grabbing at your own.

“You do.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He knew you were still in love with him ━ or maybe he’d just been hopeful. “I know you do. So then why are you breaking up with me?” 

He let go of one of your hands to reach up to your face, calloused fingers gentle and soft against your cheek as they brushed away a rogue tear you hadn’t realized had fallen from your lashes. For a moment, you had let yourself get carried away. You leaned into the comforting heat and touch of his palm as he cradled your face.

“Don’t━” You choked out after a moment of silence, hating when your voice splintered into a sob. “Don’t touch me. Please, Jungkook. You’re only going to make this harder.”

His hands sprang away from your face almost at once, as if he had just been burnt by scalding fire. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms but he had refrained the urge somehow, miraculously. So, instead, he grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists as his arms fell limp at his sides.

“Then don’t do this. Don’t walk away,” Jungkook pleaded desperately. “I don’t understand. If you love me still, why are you making this harder for yourself?”

“Because what if that’s all we have in common anymore?” You asked wretchedly. “We care about each other. We always will. But you’re focused on the band, and this is my last year of school. Maybe we just need time to focus on ourselves.”

Jungkook blinked once. Twice. His stare was suddenly devoid of any emotion as he gawked at you, but you could tell that he was hurting. It was there in the fluttering of nerves in his jaw; there, in the way his lips pulled taut into a thin line; there, in the way even you could see his eyes begin to shimmer with wet tears that he unabashedly displays without trying to wipe away.

“So that’s it?” he asked. “After everything we’ve been through. You’re just gonna end it, like that? Y/N, come on━”

His hands had found purchase on your waist, and you had lingered for a moment too long; then, fumbling, he tried to grab delicately at your face, probing you to look at him. But you couldn’t. The moment you met his wounded gaze, you shook your head furiously. You had slithered out of his grasp, slipping through the seams of his fingers just like that.

“I━” You paused. “This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, Jungkook. How can you not see it? I’ve felt so alone these past few months. It’s like you’re here but not entirely. Your mind is always somewhere else, always thinking about the band and never about us.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he had asked hotly. “The band is my everything.”

“And what am I?” You asked. The question only mildly offended you, a shot right to your heart. Because if the band was his everything, what were you in comparison? “A distraction until you get everything you want? I can’t keep being that.”

“No!” he protested. “You’re not a distraction. You’re━” He stopped himself short, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep pinning this all on me. You just don’t trust me, do you? You never did. Always thinking I’m with some other girl when I’m not with you━”

“That’s not true,” You admonished.

“Isn’t it?” Jungkook retaliated.

“I don’t want to hear it,” You had said at once. Your tone was final, a decisive ending to your argument with him. “My mind’s already been made up, Jungkook. I don’t think we should see each other again until we sort all this out ━ or, until you sort out whatever your priorities are.”

Jungkook’s stare had hardened, a frown deeply etching into his face. He had straightened up then, perplexed and upset with your standoffish demeanour, as if thinking this surely meant nothing to you. But little did he know this would become one of the hardest decisions you would have to make.

“Fine,” he said rigidly. “If that’s how it is, then I’m gone. You’ll never have to see me again.”

You hadn’t known at the time just how terribly you had messed up ━ neither had Jungkook. He had left before you could stop him, or before either of you could change your minds. Because nothing’s worse than a broken heart, blinded by stubborn and defensive rage. Accusatory fingers and blaming him or you wouldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed, and ending things seemed to only make it worse, months of lonely heartache without Jungkook to further prove just that…

The last time you spoke to Jungkook, you told him you never wanted to see him again ━ or, at least, that seems to be how he interpreted it.

Now, you were standing in the midst of his domain, surrounded by everyone in his public sphere of friends and colleagues and acquaintances, and there was certainly no way of escaping him.

You were starting to think you’re losing mind, because you’d truly have to be insane to have worked up the nerve to agree to go with Dahyun to a party being held celebrating the band’s recent tremendous success and headlining their first world tour. Their manager, Jin, had personally reached out to you and Dahyun, calling you as a means of asking you to attend, though you had given him a timid and dismissive response at first. If it hadn’t been for Dahyun purposely and almost quite literally dragging you out under the premise that “even if you don’t want to see Jungkook, you at least owe it to the boys to go,” you don’t think you’d even be here. But while you didn’t know where you stood with Jungkook anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still proud of him or the rest of the boys. It just became harder to bask in their success with them when you had gone from knowing every detail of their lives, of Jungkook’s life, to knowing only what you could hear from gossiping fans around you, or plastered in tabloids, or all over any form of social media.

The party is held at some sort of fancy lavish restaurant, the entire back room rented out by the band’s record label and management, and is filled with dozens of people you don’t know. Fortunately, you and Dahyun aren’t left alone for very long, as an elated Jin and Jimin, the appointed lead singer, bustle their way through the crowd to you almost as soon as you arrive, leaving very little time for you to feel so awkward that you consider running away again. Jimin, in all his spritely and extravagant blue haired disposition, wastes no time in engulfing you both in a comforting hug as if months hadn’t passed since you’ve last seen them.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Jin smiles from over Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s been forever,” Jimin affirms.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dahyun says. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t forget about us, considering you’re big rockstars now.”

“Rockstar is a bit of an overstatement.” An effortlessly charming smirk unfurls on Jimin’s face, which seems to immediately dazzle Dahyun. “Besides, we could never forget you. Hey, come with me to find the guys. I think we could all use some time to catch up━”

He places his hand on the small of Dahyun’s back as he guides her away, leaving you with Jin. A moment of silence passes, in which time you can feel the boy’s eyes lingering on you.

“He knows you’re coming tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jin says carefully, treading over his words lightly. It’s too painfully obvious who he’s talking about, though you’re fortunate he doesn’t bother mentioning Jungkook’s name anyway. “There’s no point in hiding. I think you should talk to him.”

“I━” You trail off uselessly, your voice croaking. Fearing an imminent breakdown, you shake your head. Then, holding your chin a little higher, Jin’s startled to hear you pretend as if he hadn’t said anything. “It really is good to see you guys again. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

And you’re gone once more before he can say anything else. On your lonesome, you find refuge at the bar, though you only order water because you’re certain you won’t be able to stomach anything stronger. You don’t know how long you spend there, blankly staring at a spot on the wall as your mind wanders everywhere and yet nowhere at all until━

“Y/N?”

There it is again. The familiar sound of his voice, only this time it’s much more attainable, closer to your world and not elsewhere so high in the clouds like a hopeful dream. You brace yourself before turning to face him.

This close, Jungkook looks breathtakingly and painfully beautiful.

As always, he’s adorned in all black, the first few buttons of the silky blouse he’s wearing left undone so that it teases the exposed flesh of his collarbones and the rose tattoo that inks his chest, the thorny stems crawling up the side of his neck just below his ear, accompanied by a pair of leather pants. He’s the same as ever. The same imperfect tattoos that decorate his fingers and arms that you’ve always loved, the same ring-clad fingers painted a chipped black, the same hoop accentuating his button nose. His hair is still his natural dark ebony color (something he’s seemed to stick with much more as of late despite dyeing it wild colours throughout his past), only it’s a little longer than you last remembered, and the sides of his head are shaved in the form of an undercut. You’re foolishly surprised to find he still looks the same, but almost a year away from someone can both change nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jungkook…” You want to say something more, but your words fall short.

It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or upset at seeing you there, but you don’t think he’s either, and you have an inkling of a thought that he purposely sought you out amongst the many faces. Instead, he looks hesitant, apprehensive, as if dreading how you’ll respond to see him. As if you’ll yell at him, push him away. You do neither, fortunately.

Just when the dense silence starts to become almost unbearable, Jungkook clears his throat. “I━ Wow… You look great.”

You blink once, a flustered blush warming your face that you hope he doesn’t notice. “Oh. Thank you. You do, too.”

His eyes flicker over your presence as he nods absentmindedly. Then, he’s offering you a pretty smile, soft and sweet in nature. No malice, or ill-intent. “Um━ How have you been?”

You hate this. You hate the awkward pauses, the prolonged periods of silence. A year ago, even despite knowingly pining for one another, your moments alone with Jungkook were never so terrible. He always found a way to say something cheekily flirtatious even when you were just friends, if only because he knew it would make you blush and giggle because, no matter how many times you would roll your eyes or nudge his sides, he also knew you secretly loved it. All the inside jokes, the milestones shared together, the ardent fleeting touches ━ where did it all go? And while you were both noticeably trying to maintain the peace and pleasantry between one another, it didn’t feel the same. It felt forced, fake. Distracted.

“I’ve been good,” You lie. “How about you? Actually, don’t answer that━” You let out a breathless chuckle. “You’ve clearly been doing amazing. I mean, your album, and your world tour. And tomorrow you’ve got a big day with the hometown show. I heard it sold out in the first ten minutes.”

“Something like that,” Jungkook says modestly. “It’s been kind of crazy. Namjoon says it’s good, but I miss━ I just miss a lot of how it used to be. The slow pace. I dunno. The quick burn up is quick to burn out, right?”

“Maybe,” You admit. “But I think you’ve all got it in you. You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Enjoy it while you’re in it. You deserve it, Jungkook.”

His stare softens as it meets yours. “Thanks.”

Another beat of silence passes. He looks as if he’s warring with himself, as if he’s fighting the urge to say something more, gnawing at his lower lip, brows knitting together.

“Yo, Jeon!” A foreign voice from amongst the crowd beckons aloud abruptly for the boy.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder swiftly in search of the source, then waves his hand as if to motion he’ll be there later. Then, he turns back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t keep you,” You say. “I know you’re busy.”

“But━” He stops himself, his jaw clamping shut. Changing his mind, he decides to ask hopefully, “Will you be at the show tomorrow?”

“Of course.” The affirmation seems to relieve him, even though it’s a spontaneous decision made by you on the spot. Before this moment, you hadn’t been so sure you could go.

“Promise?”

You can’t help but shake your head, a chuckle slipping past your lips at the innocent boyish question he asks. “Yes, Jungkook.”

His smile widens a little more, however sheepish it may be. “Then can you promise me one more thing?”

“What?” You quirk a brow, intrigued to say the least.

“Will you drop by the hotel we’re staying at tomorrow morning, so I can take you out for a coffee? Just to catch up. It’s been a while,” he says timidly. Then, feeling a little stupid for being so bold, scrambles to explain himself. “And no pressure if you don’t want to. I just thought━”

You can’t possibly say no. Not when it comes to Jungkook, all your past struggles seemingly vanishing without a trace. “I’d like that a lot, Jungkook.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Then he’s positively beaming, his self-indulgent grin making your own heart flutter in your chest. When he leaves your side that night, you find yourself looking forward to the future perhaps a little too optimistically. But how terrible could grabbing coffee with your ex be, if you had survived the first wretched encounter?

So, in the morning when you wake, there’s not a stutter in your step or a wavering flicker of your confidence as you make your way to the Four Seasons hotel Jungkook had told you to from the night before. In fact, a selfish part of you almost thinks that maybe things will start to look up. That maybe you and Jungkook can finally make amends. That maybe you never had a reason to fear Jungkook breaking your heart if he made such an effort to heal it.

The hotel itself is one of the most luxurious ones in Seoul, a considerable contrast from when the boys were slumming it on friends’ couches and in their run-down van touring the country. The room Jungkook tells you to meet him at is one of the hotel’s grand suites, located on the higher levels of the building. But as soon as you reach the landing and have begun making your way towards the designated door, it flings open and a pretty girl comes stumbling out. She’s giggling at something that has just happened inside, her hair a dishevelled mess which she ruffles up in an attempt to fix it. She’s adorned in a pretty little dress, the skirt of which is hiked a little higher up and one strap falling down her shoulder, as she clings her shoes and bag to her chest. She smiles at you on the way past, though she’s too far gone in her own little daze that you wonder if she even notices you at all.

But you certainly notice her, and, all at once, your reverie of him and what could be comes crashing to the ground once more.

Maybe you should have stayed, should have waited for Jungkook to let him explain, but you were too afraid to hear an answer you weren’t looking for. You try desperately not to imagine Jungkook loving someone else. You try not to think about him holding her the same way he held you, his lips finding purchase on some other girl. But by trying to avoid the thought, it beckons the unwarranted memories of how it felt to be loved all over by him once upon a time. You wonder how many girls he’s hooked up with in your time apart, and the overwhelming sense of regret washes over you.

You don’t bother to wait. You know fleeing is the easiest option rather than facing your fear, but you’re far too timid of rejection again. Instead, even before you can approach Jungkook’s hotel room and knock on the door, you turn on your heels and run.

You’re long gone by the time Jungkook comes to the door, prying it open in search of you on a whim. When he doesn’t see you, he glances up and down the hallway but to no avail. Namjoon comes slinking past inside then in his own disoriented haze, having just woken up from moments ago when the girl he had taken back to their room the night before left. Even then, Jungkook had warned the rhythm guitarist against bringing the girl back, pointing out the fact that they had much to do today ahead of their concert. Namjoon had promised it wouldn’t be long, that she would be gone in the morning, and Jungkook was fortunate enough that the suite had two separate bedrooms on the opposite ends of one another so that Jungkook didn’t have to hear whatever it was the pair were doing in the other.

“Did Mina leave?” Namjoon asks through a yawn, digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. When Jungkook nods, a sliver of a reminiscent smug grin tugs at Namjoon’s lips. “You missed out, Jungkook.”

The cheeky quip is met with a roll of Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m sure I’ll survive. You know I’m not like that.”

Like that━ As in midnight hook-ups and cheap thrills alike. He tried it once, far ago when you had first broken up with him, on a drunken spur of a moment as a way of healing the anguish in his heart. It hadn’t worked then; he assumed it would never work.

Namjoon seems to understand this immediately. He gives Jungkook a look that the boy doesn’t notice. “Well… is Y/N here yet?”

“No. But I’m sure she’ll be here,” Jungkook grimaces. He hopes. “Something probably came up.”

Namjoon clasps a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, humming aloud, “Good luck, dude.”

But you never arrive, even though Jungkook waits for most of the morning, nervous eyes flickering to the door at every commotion outside, running to check only to see room service delivering breakfast or concierge showing guests to their rooms. He has no choice but to give up on the thought of you coming when Jin knocks on their door, prompting the boys to get a start on their day. Interviews and soundcheck await, but how could he possibly go on with his life without knowing what happened to you?

Which is why you stay on his mind for the rest of the day, distracting him in every aspect, mixing up his words when he’s in the midst of his interview, tripping up on stage as the boys set up and begin to rehearse. As the hours wane down to just an hour before the show, the thought of performing in front of thousands of fans starts to make him nervous and he doesn’t know why. He’s done this countless times before, almost nightly during the tour, so what stops him now? Of course he knows the answer, had grown all too accustomed to the feeling the first few months in which the break up had been so recent. It would always be about you.

But just before the show starts, Jungkook is making his way backstage from the greenroom, where the band had been waiting, to the stage. Fiddling with his in-ear piece, he almost doesn’t notice you and Dahyun weaving your way through the roadies and sound tech, being guided by Jin to the pit on the side of the stage where only family and friends are allowed. You don’t see him, and there’s a split moment where he thinks he should just let you go, until he doesn’t.

As he makes his way to you, the tour manager for the band intervenes part way, shouting out to the boy. “Where are you going? We’re on in five, Jungkook!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back━” He waves the manager off as politely as he can, wasting no time to chase after you. He calls out your name, though it drowns out in the sound of the music being blasted through the speakers of the arena and the screaming fans. “Y/N, wait up!”

He’s relieved when he sees you stop in your tracks, turning to face him as Dahyun and Jin become lost in the chaos of the backstage. He comes to stand just before you, smiling breathlessly at you, unaware of the way your shoulders tense at the sight of him.

“You didn’t show up this morning,” he says as a way of greeting, his voice a curious prob. “What happened?”

You try desperately not to get lost in his big beautiful eyes, laced with such hope. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, looking away. “Something came up.”

It’s then that Jungkook senses something is wrong. You’re upset with him, though he can’t tell why. Aside from the obvious rift in your relationship that had initially split you two up, you had been so pleasant to see him the night before. But he doesn’t give up just yet. “Well… you’re here now.”

You meet his gaze with your own hardened one. “For the boys.”

A shot right to his heart almost makes Jungkook gasp for air. He flinches, and then his stare softens, and you wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, out of fear that you might just relapse into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He closes the distance between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you, but refrains with much difficulty. There’s dozens of things that could be wrong, and he braces himself for your retaliation. “You didn’t want to come, did you?”

When you don’t respond, but also don’t stray from his side, Jungkook hurries to speak again if only to fill the tense silence.

“Look, last night… Maybe it was just me, but last night seemed like things were okay,” he says. “Was I wrong to feel that way?”

“Jungkook…”

“Please, just let me know,” he begs. “Because you’re all I can think about these days, it’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on, but the reason I wanted to see you this morning was because I hate how things ended between us, and I wanted to tell you…” He swallows nervously as he trails off uncertainly. “I wanted to tell you that I’m still in love with you. And I can’t get you out of my head. These months away from you made me realize that I━”

Suddenly, you’re shaking your head and he knows you don’t believe him. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets saying it, if only because they seem to enliven you. Now, you push yourself away from the boy. “I’m not doing this right now. You’re not doing this right now.”

As if to further your point, the band’s tour manager can be heard calling out frantically for the boy. “Two minutes, Jungkook!”

But Jungkook is hardly paying attention now, instead solely focused on you. “Please, Y/N━”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me,” You admonish hotly. You can’t bite the words back, no matter how hard you try. “You don’t love me. You think you love me, but you don’t.”

His jaw clenches, and his brows furrow into a frustrated stare. “I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Stop.” The harsh word makes Jungkook clamp his mouth shut. You shake your head furiously, but you know it’s only to distract yourself so that you don’t let the tears fall. “You’re being selfish, Jungkook. You don’t get to take all of me, love all of me, and leave, only to come back months later and pretend you’re still in love with me. And whatever this━” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, “is, or was, doesn’t exist anymore. We both need to stop pretending otherwise.”

Jungkook winces, eyes tinged with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

You don’t respond. Elsewhere, his tour manager starts to grow impatient, scolding the boy aloud, “Jungkook, we’re gonna be late. Hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” Jungkook calls back, irritated. Maybe he is being selfish. He’s wasting precious time by not leaving, all the hard work that the crew put into tonight’s show, and the fans awaiting his and the band’s arrival. He can still hear the crowd, this time their buzzing voices amalgamating into unanimous chanting muffled by the walls that sounds akin to the band’s name.

“You should go,” You say now. “Don’t wanna disappoint them.”

But he’d throw it all away for you if you told him to. He promised you that even before he had left for tour, before the band had been signed. Had you forgotten? Because he surely hadn’t.

“Y/N…”

“Good luck out there.”

Then, you’re gone before Jungkook can even make a move to stop you ━ but even if he did, what could he do to make you stay? The feat seemed impossible, and you always seem to find a way to slip from his grasp no matter what he does. Only this time he has no choice but to let you go, out of fear of being berated further by his tour manager or angering the boys so much to the point where he gets kicked out of the band.

He makes it on stage in time, the band filing out to take their places one at a time, deafening screams blowing out their in-ear pieces that stand no chance as each member joins the stage. The lights fizzle out until complete darkness cloaks the venue, but Jungkook still looks for you. He finds you in the pit on the side of the stage, Jin and Dahyun standing beside you, and finds it hard to keep his eyes off of you even though you attempt to pretend as if he’s not even there.

After their first adrenaline-filled opening song of the night, Jimin takes to the microphone to greet the crowd who scream back an indiscernible shout as, elsewhere, you notice Jungkook pry himself away from the microphone stand on his side of the stage to wave the rest of the boys over to Hoseok’s drum kit. They murmur amongst themselves briefly, though they go unnoticed by Jimin or the crowd as the lead singer entertains them.

“Seoul! It’s good to be back. We’ve missed you all so much━”

Jimin’s words get cut short when Jungkook, having just parted ways with the rest of his members for their impromptu meeting, beckons the lead singer over, out of range of the microphone. They seem to discuss something just as shortly as Jungkook had talked with the rest of the boys, in which time Jimin nods understandingly, then steps away from the microphone. Then, Jungkook takes to the microphone, the rings on his fingers glistening under the spotlight as he grips the stand.

“I know the night’s only getting started,” Jungkook’s voice wavers as he speaks, “but we’re gonna slow things down for a moment. We hope you don’t mind.”

Intrigued murmurs echo around the crowd, suddenly buzzing with excitement as they watch Jungkook with eager eyes. A few encouraging bellows has Jungkook smiling smally. Jin, on the other hand, looks perplexed.

“What is he doing?” Jin asks no one in particular, a quizzical look on his face. “This isn’t part of their set.”

“I think a lot of you might know this next song,” Jungkook continues, “but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how much it means to me. This next one, I wrote for a special someone, and it sort of helped us achieve all of this. So, I think it’s time that person knows how much they mean to me.”

Jungkook glances nervously over at the boys standing behind him, each in their own respective spots. Then, sweeping his gaze across the crowd, he finally finds you already staring up at him. His own eyes soften into a look of longing, however hardened by past tribulations and sorrow it may be. As if he’s determined not to lose you again; determined to make it up to you.

“This next one is for Y/N,” he says timidly. He has to turn away from you in the next second, afraid he might just break down before the fans and the boys and you. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

As the boys take their place, with Jimin taking an acoustic and fading back from the limelight, you wonder why. But then you hear it, the familiar beginning chords making up the song you had so wholeheartedly claimed you hated. Only this time they’re gentler, made up of acoustic strums of a guitar, Hoseok’s drums, and Yoongi’s keys, all amalgamating into a pretty song almost unrecognizable.

Then, Jungkook starts singing, and what was once a wistful dreamy song of prospective lovers suddenly turns into a melancholic requiem for you. Some lyrics are changed, present tense turning to the past, and Jungkook sings his way throughout the entirety of the song in contrast to the one that plays all over the radio featuring the other member’s voices. The fans sing along, their voices melding with Jungkook’s into some sort of celestial mellifluous choir, and you’re left no longer wondering if the fans would ever know the meaning behind the song that Jungkook had brought to life. Because now, it wasn’t just Jungkook singing to you; it was the whole world. And yet, paradoxically at the same time, it felt all that much more intimate. As if it were just you and him once again, seated on the couch in his small apartment, listening to the beginnings of what would be their number one selling song.

Above all else, you realize that you don’t seem to hate the song as much you claimed to.

That night, you can’t sleep.

You find yourself leaving the venue earlier than everyone else, even when the boys invite you and Dahyun to join them for celebratory drinks, returning to your home in the hopes of forgetting the night altogether. Instead, you stay up tossing and turning, your mind filled with memories consisting of only Jungkook and his haunting voice singing to you, and for you. But at some point during the night nearing one or two in the morning, just when you give up on the idea of sleep, the sound of incessant knocking at your front door rouses you from your trance.

When you finally answer the door, you’re more than surprised to see that Jungkook stands on the other side of the threshold as if coming to you from a dream. But then you register the fact that he’s a complete mess. Dark circles line his weary eyes, now smudged with that faint hint of charcoal liner he had worn for the concert, hair so messily mused beyond repair, and you notice quickly that he’s crying, fresh tears glazing over his pupils and streaking down his face. It’s startling to see him in such shambles, a complete contrast to how effortlessly charming and confident he usually portrays himself. But though you’ve seen him cry before on various occasions, now is all the more unsettling.

“I━I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he shakes his head. He fumbles over his words, slurring them together in his rush to get them out. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, no, I swear━” He pries his eyes open to meet your desolate stare, tears unabashedly falling from his lashes. His voice thins with desperation. “You said we need to stop pretending, but I’m not pretending. I never have been. And if you think ━ if you truly believe ━ that there’s nothing here between us anymore… Tell me. Right here, right now. And I’ll leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again. I just━ I’ve missed you every moment and it kills me.”

You’re silent for a long period, pitying gaze sweeping over him, but he doesn’t care if he looks insane. He just needs you to know how he feels.

“Well, how do you think I felt?” You ask the question carefully, but then the memories come flooding back and the semblance of a scowl forms on your face. “You leave and suddenly everywhere I look I see you. Your song is playing everywhere, you and the guys are everywhere, and I’m reminded every day about how we ended. About how you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. He shakes his head stubbornly, the nerves in the corner of his jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth. “You were the one who said we should take a break.”

“A break!” You snap sternly. “Fuck, Jungkook. I didn’t want you out of my life forever. I wanted you to fight for me.”

“No, don’t put this all on me,” Jungkook pleads helplessly. “I have always fought for you. But the minute things got rough, you bailed. You told me you never wanted to see me again. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I was scared!” You try to swallow the tears away that start to form as a lump in your throat but to no avail. “I was, and I still am, so fucking scared of losing you. And you━ It felt like you gave me no choice. Like you were over it. I would have wanted to make things work but you left. You just… You left, and suddenly it was like you were never in my life at all. Seven months, and I get no word from you.”

“I fucked up, okay!” He cries out so suddenly, it silences you at once. He bites at his lip, and straightens up half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair. When he meets your stare this time, he’s zealous yet sincere. “I know that I messed up. I know. And it fucking kills me every single day. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it did, and I know it’s all my fault. When you said we should take a break and I agreed, I was only thinking about you. Because I knew I was disappointing you every day, and I was afraid that was all I would ever do, and you don’t deserve that. I thought it would be better this way, if I was just gone from your life for good. But I can’t forget you.”

“How can I trust you?” You ask. When his pained stare gawks at you, you tilt your chin a little higher. “I came by your hotel room yesterday morning, just like you asked, only to see that girl leaving.”

Jungkook’s gawk turns into a dumbfounded expression. He looks weary as he shakes his head, as if struggling to keep up with the way you accuse him now. He tries not to focus on the fact that you actually came to the hotel, then feels inconsolably terrible when he realizes why he never got to see you. “That girl was Namjoon’s fling. We were sharing the suite, and they were in a whole other room. I didn’t even think about her━”

Your stare droops from him, and he knows he’s struggling to keep you on his side.

“Okay, fine. You want trust? I’ll give it to you,” he says. A newfound sense of confidence seems to possess him, though he approaches the topic with extra caution anyway. “After we broke up, I was crushed. I couldn’t move on from you, and the guys thought I should get drunk, find a random girl to bring back to our hotel one night on tour. And I listened, because I wanted to forget you, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. Every time she touched me, every time she kissed me, I could only imagine it was you. And when she left that night, I broke down because I felt like such a fucking idiot. I instantly regretted it. Like, even though you and I weren’t together, I still did something to hurt you by sleeping with that girl. And all it did was hurt me too in the process.”

He pushes himself forward, taking a step over the threshold. Even despite him admitting his wrongs to you, you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. Because, at the end of it all, he’s here at your doorstep, pleading for you to forgive him, but he had already won the moment your eyes had landed on him.

“You’re the reason I am who I am today.” His voice is hoarse when he speaks, almost in a whisper. “That I get to do what I love for a living. But all of it means nothing without you. You saw me at my worst, and my best. And you were the best I ever had, and I ruined it, and the worst part of it all is that there’s nothing I can do to make up for it. But I promise I can make it better ━ I can make it right again ━ if you just give me a chance.”

There’s a short pause filled with poignant silence in which Jungkook thinks you’ll push him away or scream at him. He’s fortunate when you do neither; instead, he hears you whisper faintly.

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

And it’s more than enough for him. His heart thrums in delight as he wastes no time in reaching out for you. His hands are warm as they come to grasp at your face, holding you delicately; then he’s leaning in to you, drawing you closer and closer until his lips are pressed against yours. It’s unadulterated, but not without feverish passion, noses smushing together in both your eager hastiness to close the distance between the two of you. It doesn’t last long either, though that’s partly because Jungkook can taste your tears mingling on your lips, and can feel your faint smile form against his mouth. Kissing him feels both foreign yet familiar at the same time. You know the feel, the taste, and the sense of comfort that comes with it, but months apart from one another has left it feeling different.

Jungkook’s thumb wipes away at the tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

It’s a useless question, he knows, but he needs something to fill the silence. He’s relieved when he hears you snicker. “Because I miss you, you idiot. And I’m sorry I’ve been acting like such an idiot. I’ve messed everything up.”

His own shoulders quiver with contented mirth. “It’ll be okay.” As he leans in once more for another kiss, you can feel him murmur against your mouth, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Then make it right,” You say, “right here and now.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he promises earnestly.

Jungkook understands the underlying yearning in your voice even without having you explain yourself. He knows, if only because he can feel it too. As his hands fall to your waist, fingers digging into your skin, your own arms wrap around his neck and pull him into your apartment. He has you pressed up against the nearest wall within seconds, kissing at your throat, then up to your jawline.

“It’s been so long,” he sighs.

You hum in agreement, though your mind is already spinning, and all you can muster is a weak yet urgent croak of his name. “Jungkook.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging at the roots and he croons with delight. His lips finally meet yours again, only this time he lets his tongue lav at your lower lip. Almost as soon as he does so, you notice something strange. It takes a moment for you to register the small metallic object that grazes your lower lip but when you do, you pull away from the boy.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a confused dazed.

“Is that…” You rasp. “Did you get your tongue pierced?”

Suddenly, Jungkook is smirking, one brow shooting up to his hairline in a smug demeanour. He sticks out his tongue for you to see the silver ball poking through and you almost moan at the sight of it as the thought entices you.

“Oh.” Your face warms with a flustered blush. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Always wanted to get it done. Guess I was saving it for the right moment.”

“Right moment, huh?” You scoff as if the implications don’t already have your thighs rubbing together. “Care to explain?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough.”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, marvelling at the way Jungkook’s familiar flirtatious bantering can soothe your troubled heart at once. It’s almost as if time hasn’t lapsed between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” You sigh. “I’ve missed you, Jungkook.”

You spot him smiling before he’s kissing you again, this time his tongue slipping past your parted lips to meet yours midway. The piercing is strange to adjust to, but you get used to it quickly, humming at the feeling of it against the soft flesh of your tongue. It’s easy to get lost in one another’s lips as you pull and tug at Jungkook, guiding him to your bedroom, nearly tripping and stumbling over one another in the process. He knows the path like the back of his hand, the same way he knows every curve and dimple of your body as his greedy hands explore you. He has you sprawled out beneath him on the bed in a matter of seconds, carelessly shedding each other of your clothes until you’re left naked and he’s without a shirt.

As he’s tugging off the hoodie you’re wearing, he realizes two things abruptly. One: you’re not wearing anything beneath it, your bare body dazzling him at once. And, two: a sudden thought jogs his memory that makes him ponder aloud, “Is this my sweater?”

“Yes,” You admit sheepishly.

He smirks. “Was wondering where it went.”

“You forgot to take it back when…” You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you tug your fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck, as if scared he’ll leave again. He doesn’t. Instead, he nestles his body between your legs, tonguing patterns on your neck. “I wear it sometimes, especially when I’m missing you. I don’t know… It just━ It still smells like you, even after all this time.”

Jungkook’s heart nearly implodes. He wonders briefly if he’d prefer fucking you without or with the hoodie; but then he’s letting himself time to study your naked body and he deduces he needs to gaze at you in your entirety a little longer.

“Keep talking,” he murmurs. He starts kissing down your body now, starting from your throat to your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, then your navel. “Tell me more. How badly did you miss me?”

“So badly,” You whimper. Your legs instinctively part to make way for him as he shifts downward, kissing just above your core. A shudder runs down your spine when he kisses the inside of your thigh. “Sometimes I’d put your sweater on and touch myself to the thought of you.”

He grunts against you, teeth softly biting at your flesh. His tongue pokes against your thigh, the metallic piercing a dully cold sensation as he licks upward to your core. He laps at your folds, as if to taste the glistening cum that starts to form.

Your breath audibly hitches in your throat, hips jutting forward to meet his mouth. “I missed your hands, and the way they made me feel. Missed your mouth between my legs. Missed cumming on your tongue, or your fingers.”

Now, you’re starting to understand what he meant by waiting for the right moment to use the piercing to its fullest potential. As he lifts his head higher to tongue at your clit, the piercing makes your head spin. The contrast between his soft tongue and the harsh metal works wonders against you, rubbing you just the right way that has you a moaning mess beneath him within a matter of seconds.

“Fuck━” You cry out, hands twisting in his hair. “My hands never feel the same. You always made me feel so good, Jungkook.”

He hums something in response, the sound reverberating up your spine. He busies himself by replacing his tongue with his finger, rubbing small, controlled circles against your clit as he lowers his mouth to your folds. He teases the piercing against the sensitive flesh before lapping at your insides, burrowing further into you.

“Ooh, Jungkook━”

The noise that eclipses your throat is a piqued sob of delight. The piercing that scratches against your walls has your insides throbbing, body twisting and turning beneath him. You grab at your breasts, fingers pinching at the perked buds as you imagine Jungkook’s hands in replace of yours.

His mouth wraps just right around you and he sucks hard, earning a beautiful moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to draw closer to your high, sputtering and whimpering at every action he does. Soon he’s burrowing his face even closer against your core, nose nudging against your clit in a way that makes you writhe and squirm. Before he can get carried away (and he certainly could), Jungkook decides to come to a stop which seems to thoroughly surprise and upset you. When you feel his missing warmth between your legs and the sticky wet mess accentuated further by the cool air that hits you, you pout like a child.

“That’s not fair,” you whine.

“Sorry, baby. Need to feel you.” He pulls away from you and crawls over your body once more. He kisses your lips, sloppy and heated, and lets you taste your own succulence on your tongue. “God, I need to feel you so bad.”

You’re just as much startled as you were seconds ago to hear the slight whine in his voice, a sound hot enough to almost push you over the edge.

“I’ve missed you too, just so you know,” he moans, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers continue to scratch delicately at his scalp and he simpers delightfully against you. He ruts his hips eagerly against yours, the bulge in his pants rough against your core. “So fucking much.”

“How much?” Now it’s your turn to ask, your curiosity getting the best of you once you find your voice.

“Every day,” he sighs as he continues to grind his hips into yours. “Get so hard at the thought of you. Your pretty mouth moaning my name. Your hands in my hair, just like this━” You pull a little tighter at the roots of his locks, and he has to stifle his contented moan. “And your body━ Fuck, your body. You take my dick so well, baby.”

“Jungkook,” You mewl impatiently. “Wanna feel you in me.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay━”

He hastens to rid himself of his pants and you help, arms momentarily tangling with one another in your rush. Then he’s kneeling before you, one hand planted firmly on your hip, rings digging roughly against your skin, as his other hand wraps a fist around his hard length, slowly pumping himself. He guides the tip of his leaking cock to your core and pushes himself forward carefully. He easily slips past your folds, coaxed by your slick walls, that he has to pause to give you both time to adjust to the feeling. It’s just as he remembered, though somehow better, and he isn’t so sure how long he’ll last. You don’t know either, marvelling in the way he stretches you open.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts.

He watches as your jaw drops open in a silent gap, your eyes fixed only on his. You grab at his hips, fingers scratching delicately over the laurel tattoos inked there, prompting him to move. He does so in one languid movement, burying deeper and deeper into you until you feel so full and he feels so warm. He fucks into you a little sluggish at first, taking his time and enjoying the way your clenching walls feel around his throbbing cock. It’s a pace so maddening that it soon has the both of you panting, heavy moans filling the space around you. Your own fingers dig into his shoulders, his back, his hips ━ anything to keep a hold on reality as you slowly lose yourself to the pleasure. He reaches for one of your hands, eager to feel you in more ways than one, and laces his digits with yours, pressing your clasped palms above your head. You squeeze tightly, his name falling from your lips in a cry.

“Doing so good,” he mumbles through gritted teeth. “Feel so nice, baby.”

Jungkook grasps at your hips and flips the two of you over. He lands on his back on the soft mattress and you fumble to not break the pace. Firmly planting your hands on his chest, you grind against him, sweat coating your forehead. He watches you with a dark fascination, brows screwed together and jaw clenched as your own cum starts leaking down his length. Not wanting to waste another moment without being beside you, he sits up and shifts you in his lap. Then he pulls you close to him, chest pulled flush against chest to the point where he can feel the rapid beat of your heart against his. You whimper aloud, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as he guides your hips back and forth on him. There’s little to no space between your gyrating bodies, sweaty skin sticking to one another.

At some point, Jungkook notices you’re crying again, steady tears tangling in your lashes and wetting your face. Despite the way you’re driving him to near euphoria, he brushes your hair out of your face and manages to ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry━ fuck,” You gasp. He can tell you’re genuinely sympathetic for whatever’s making you cry but it’s hard for you to convey it properly when you’re still so consumed by him. “I’m so sorry━ I’m okay. I just━ You feel so good, Jungkook.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, rubbing tender circles against your waist that contrasts with the fierce burn between your legs. “You’re okay, baby. Doing so well for me, aren’t you? Cum for me, yeah?”

You won’t tell him why you’re crying ━ not yet, at least. But Jungkook thinks he knows why; he can feel it too. The bitter sense of longing and mingling regret for all the time lost. The overwhelming feeling of love of finally being reunited. You continue to roll your hips against his, and he, breathless, rubs his nose faintly against yours, resting his forehead against yours.

It doesn’t take much longer after that for you to come tumbling to you high. He strokes your hair so lovingly as you ride him recklessly, leisure rolls of your hips driving you to your high. When you cum, the feeling completely washes over you and electricity crackles in your veins, warming your entire body. He holds you close to his chest the entire time as you writhe with pleasure, your walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off as you busy yourself by sucking a bruise onto the underside of his jaw.

He reaches his high moments later just as you’re beginning to wince at the feeling of oversensitivity. He grunts and groans, spilling his hot seed into you, and then, with his hips slammed against yours, grinds leisurely to ride out your highs.

Then, the room falls silent.

Neither of you move from your warm embrace, with you still perched on his lap, his cock softening inside you as his cum runs down his length and onto your thighs. Your face is hidden in the crook of his neck, and he waits until you’ve both calmed down from your orgasms. You’re running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but he knows you’re still sad. He kisses you all over in the meantime, a few ticklish kisses that make you smile sleepily and a few loving ones that have your heart swelling. Then, he gingerly shifts your head to look at him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks silently.

It takes you a moment to respond. You cling to him tightly when you do and all he can do is cradle you closer to him. “I don’t want this to be some kind of drunken one night stand thing. Like we both needed one last fuck to get over each other, or something."

“You mean more to me than a one night stand,” Jungkook says and it makes you smile smally, a little timidly. 

“That’s good,” You say, “because I’m not over you or us. I want us to work out. I love you too much to lose you again, and I’m scared this might be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Jungkook shakes his head furiously. “I’d be an absolute idiot to let that happen. You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere this time. You’re my priority, Y/N. You always have been. Not the band and definitely not the record label.”

“I’m sure the boys will love to hear that,” You snort to yourself.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jungkook grins. But you’re only joking, and you know he sort of is too. That’s not to say the band isn’t still important to him, but you take precedent over it. “Without you, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be where I am now.”

You nuzzle your nose against his own, and he steals one sweet kiss from you. 

“Do you really mean all that?”

“With my whole heart.”

And, when he says it, you know he means it. There’s no reason not to trust him.

You’ll both move eventually from one another’s arms, soft touches from Jungkook peeling you off of him and wrapping you in your covers before falling asleep beside you, and waking up in the morning with you in his arms. But, for now, it’s just you and him, a little broken still yet all the more in love.

While you both know healing a broken heart will take time, you’re both prepared for it because you’re both worth it to one another ━ and that’s all either of you really need in the end to make it right.

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work. 

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 01  —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 4.3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

The winter’s coldness is hardly enough for you to bear. Even though it’s just the beginning, Seoul is known to just go from season to season without a fucking warning. Not only that, but the first snowfall is going to come soon. The weatherman has been talking about it non-stop for the past few days. It’s going to be a brutal one he says but he says that every year so why believe?

Turning off your alarm, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and stretch. Barely any sleep once again but that’s an everyday thing now.. without Jimin. It’s been some rough months not having his body wrapped snugly onto yours. These days you long for his touch, but completely dread at the same time for very good reasons.

Your kitten greets you with small licks on your thigh in which in return you pet her head softly with a smile.

‘‘ At least I still have you babygirl. You keep me company. “ You coo softly while grabbing your phone off the charger. Texts from your best-friend just spamming you with love and apparently she’s coming over. Great. That’s normal.  But one text catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook.

You furrow your eyebrows as your finger slides to open it after typing in your password. In relief, he’s just checking up on you as always. Rolling your eyes, you muster enough strength to actually pull yourself out of bed. The cold tiles hit your feet like icicles. You jump from from foot to foot cursing yourself for not turning on the floor heaters as you walk out the room. Clara, your kitten, follows you out purring nonchalantly with a few meows here and there.

‘’ Alright Clara I hear you. Im getting your food now.’’ You chuckle, grabbing her food from the bottom kitchen cabinet right under the sink and pour her half a cup of cat food and a whole bowl of water.

After snacking on your morning granola bar you prepare yourself for your morning routine. Shower, brush teeth, skin care, get dressed, clean. Your phone dings once more just before stripping yourself of your clothes. You don’t bother to look it’s probably just a social media notification.

Drying your hair with a towel as you get out the steaming hot shower, you head straight for the mirror. Dark circles remain under your eyes from months of barely any sleep. You sigh, and gently rub under them. Jimin is the cause of this. Why would he do this to you. Surely enough he would not like to see you like this at all. The worriedness he would have over you is huge. But he has moved on and you just have to accept it no matter how in-love you still are with him.

As you clean up around the living room, another ding from your phone occurs. A groan escapes your lips as you place the pillows back as they should be. In hopes of it just being your manager giving you some good news, you let out a sigh and plop yourself down on the grey suede couch. Three new messages. Jeon Jungkook, who has text you twice, and Ryan your bestfriend. 

‘‘ Damn it Ryan why must you consistently text me twenty four sev- “

“ Beause I need to know if you’re okay.”

You jump and drop your phone onto the hardwood floor from the voice that comes from around you.

“ Holy fucking shit you scared me! “  You whine, turning around to face your best-friend. She smiles and holds out her arms for a hug. You roll your eyes and open yours waiting for her embrace.

“ Oh i’ve missed you so so so so so so so-”

“ You just seen me yesterday..” Your voice sarcastic and bland as you let go of her. You sit on the couch first followed by Ryan sitting right next to you.

She looks good today, the navy blue coat she has on suits her very well. Although, you cannot figure out why she decided to wear leggings today. It’s going to rain a bit later but you disregard that seeing as though she’s the fashion deisgner and not you.

You. The model and seemingly ex girlfriend of one of the biggest solo idol in the world right now. Thats what they call you in the news, headlines in magazines, and real life as if you don’t have a real name and just was his acessory. Your modeling career had taken off way before dating him. The world, or Seoul to say the most, didn’t acklowledge you to that point yet. 

“ Okay but still. You know we should be roomates. It’ll be easier for me to watch over you. “

Your head turns towards her quickly shaking no, “ I don’t need to be looked over im 20 years old.”

Silence takes place for the next few seconds. You know what she’s going to say next but pray she doesn’t. Those words will just make you even more upset. It’s already enough you have that constant reminder in your head. 

You watch her fiddle with the rings on her index and pinky fingers. “ But you know… you haven’t been the same since you and Jimi-”

“ Don’t fucking say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

She sighs harshly and stands up, “ Im just worried about you Yn”

“ Don’t be. Im fine. “ That lie escaped your tongue way too easily. 

Truthfully you haven’t and won’t be fine. Everyday there is something new about that girl and Jimin on twitter. Gossip pages, twitter fanpages, and online entertainment pages just always talking about them. They did this, they did that today. Oh we caught them going to this and that restaurant. That used to be you and him.. but now everyone has forgotten about you and focused on them.

Ever since you’ve told reporters and paparazzi repeatedly that you will not be holding or going to any interview they just stopped. A few calls here and there to your manager about scheduling one but she knew you didn’t want to do them so every request is denied. Although its been a year and some change, they still seem to want your side and your opinion to weigh in on. I guess that’s what happens when you date an Idol.

“ The door.. Y/N the door somebody is at the door.” Ryan says, tapping you over and over. You shake your head interrupting your thoughts for the time being. A few more knocks come through.

Finally up onto your feet you harshly walk to the door with each step making noise. It’s to early in the morning for someone to actually be knocking at the door right now. Whoever it is better be dropping off some sort of package, or they’ll surely get a piece of your mind.

Your frail hands grab onto the doorknob and swing it open. Your eyes almost pop through your sockets. How? How did he know you were here? You certainly did not tell him your knew address.

There he stands, his tall frame looking down on you. Lips formed into a tiny pout along with his eyebrows scrunched slightly. His brown eyes forming an ungodly stare into yours with his specs on.

“ Yn! Do you know how worried I was about you? Why did you not answer my messa-”

“Jungkook how do you know where I live?” You pace your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow at him. To your knowledge, you never gave Jungkook your new apartment address.

Jungkook swallows slowly and puts on his best innocent face on. Oh please like that would work in this moment right now. The only person who has this address is Ryan because she’s the one who helped you move. Even if you had the choice of not giving it out to Ryan you would of but you couldn’t do that to her. She would of been so upset.

Ryan’s voice blares in the background full of excitement. Here we fucking go. “Jungkook! Come in Come in.”

“ Ryan says I could come in.” He says quickly, brushing past you and removing his shoes.

You heavily sigh and slam the door shut. What is this a family reunion? On your way back to the couch you notice them laughing and giggling like two five year old children. They don’t even notice you when you sit right across from them.

You study their expressions. Their chemistry is something so strong. The way their eyes light up when they meet, the way that Jungkook smiles and scrunches his nose more often when she’s around. You miss that. You miss doing that.

“ So are you both coming along this afternoon?”

Your attention focuses back on them. Of course you weren’t paying attention once again.

Your eyes slowly meet with theirs, “ Huh? Where are we going?”

“ Kookie finally bought a house! He wants us to come tonight for chicken and beer. You’re coming right?”

A sharp pain goes through your heart. If the both you you guys go then theirs a possibility that Jimin was invited too. After all, that is his brother. If Jimin comes then he’s most likely going to bring Isabel. A recipe for disaster. Your poor heart, that most likely could not bare the sight of them infront of you, would shatter into a million pieces.

Jungkook’s expression is ready to burst into happiness or to turn into a pout awaiting for your answer. If you let him down he’ll surely be mad at you. But putting yourself before him this time would be the right thing to do right?

“ Listen Jungkook I.. don’t think I can go.” You start off, playing with your hair with your head down.

“ I’ll space you two apart.”

Your face automatically lifts itself up in shock. Somehow, that little confirmation of Jimin being there, gave you some hope. Hope for what though?

 “ Wha-what do you mean?”

Jungkook sighs heavily with his hand going up to his brown hair running it through lightly. “ I’ll make sure you two are distanced apart. You don’t want to come because of Jimin but I’ll make sure I’ll invite more people to keep you company and away from him. Okay?”

“ Please Yn. I’ll be there too.” Ryan begs, laying her head on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook smiles a little, caressing her cheek with his other hand upon waiting your response.

Weird. When did they get so close?

The first thing you want to say is that you really could not go. But they already know the excuse now. You might as well just give in.

‘‘ Fine. What time tonight? “

Skincare and makeup products are scattered everywhere on your vanity. You needed the perfect look for tonight that says ‘Yes im doing fine without you’, but in reality you’re doing worse. This is the night where you’ll actually see him. Damn it’s been a while.

After you apply your highlight you step back and take a look at yourself. Not bad at all. You smile to yourself and start cleaning up the mess of products you had  distributed across the vanity. A new text appears on you phone as soon as you gather everything up and put it back in it’s place. Grabbing your phone, it’s Ryan giving you the address to Jungkook’s new house.

You sigh and mentally prepare yourself, ‘‘ Okay Yn. You can do this. It’s just one night of conversing among people. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new.”

Before heading out you grab your coat and scarf. Clara follows you all the way to the door letting out her little meows once again. You bend down to pet her head lightly with a smile. “ Clara im coming back. I’ve put food in your bowl babygirl.”

She purrs under your touch then walks away to settle herself in her bed. You take one last final look at your decent sized apartment before heading out.

The subway ride was agonizing pain for you due to it being 30 minutes long. Well, at-least you can ride the subway now. Your mind wouldn’t even of thought of that when you were with him. Everybody would have noticed you and bombard you with questions.

The outskirts of Seoul is peaceful and quite. Not many people live over here. Mostly famous actors and idols. The taxi takes a few minutes to get to the fairly clean subway station. Once you’re inside you take a good look at the driver who seems to be eyeing you in suspicion. You pull out your phone and read the words to the address exactly to him. The taxi man pulls of into the empty streets of god knows where.

All it took was a ten minute ride and then you’re there. The taxi man pulls up to a security guard booth. Just beyond the gates is more street but  by squinting your eyes you can make out just a few newly built houses.

‘‘ Who are you here to see?” The taxi driver says.

“ Jeon Jungkook.?

The driver talks to the man for a few seconds before you see the security guard pick up a phone and start dialing. The security is extremely uptight, thats good. After a few moments of speaking the security guard finally opens the gates to be let through.

As you pull up to the house you’re automatically mesmerized on how big and beautiful it is. There’s fresh bushes and some white roses growing in the front of it complementing the white modern style home. The roundabout is full of luxurious cars, in which might be all the other guests.

‘‘ 10 dollars’‘ He says. You give him the ten, thank him, and grab your purse, closing the door behind you.

Your eyes meet face to face with the expensive house. Behind you is the tire wheels backing up and running off back down the roundabout. The time on your watch reads 8:15. Only fifteen minutes late, not bad right?

With each step you take fear quivers inside of you. What if he opens the door? What if that girl opens it instead? The wind blows harsh-fully hitting your cheeks making them turn slightly colored. You raise a small, shaky fist to knock on the door. Your blood turning cold, and face turning pale already. Your anxiety already taking its place inside of your body.

The door swings open revealing Ryan smiling from ear to ear. She pulls you inside without even a greeting. You kick your shoes off in a hurry as she pulls you more and more inside. Scanning the area around you, its a nice huge place. First the both of you pass the entrance, then the chef sized kitchen, which then leads you to the spacious living room where everybody seems to be sitting.

All eyes are on you now with some familiar faces and some not. They smile and greet you one by one and you slightly bow your head with a fake smile.

‘‘ Ah Yn, nice to see you again huh.’‘ Hoseok, the smiley one says, getting up from his seat to greet you once more.

‘‘ Nice to see you to Hoseok. Is Chae-Yeon here? I’ve baked the cookies she likes.’’  You say, holding up the big tuba-wear of freshly baked cookies. Nobody can resist those.

‘‘ No she had to work sadly, but I will enjoy them for her.’‘ He chuckles, bringing the tuba-wear out of your dainty, cold hands.

A very familiar voice booms from behind you causing you to turn around. “ Yn! You actually did come!’’ Jungkook, the owner of the voice exclaims. He wipes his hands with a napkin just before pulling you into a hug.You pat his back just before letting go.

Ryan smiles and shakes her head, “ I told you she would come.’’

Only one hour and 30 minutes into the festivities and half of the people here are drunk or nearly there. You on the other hand do not drink at all. Staying sober throughout this whole party is a must. Who knows what would happen if you start drinking and saying things.Ryan seems to be doing good with Jungkook who’s laying on the floor laughing and cracking jokes with her head laying on his stomach giggling along with him. The others have casually invited themselves into the guest game-room to play some pool.

You just sit there on the couch, munching on a cookie and smiling and laughing here and there at one of Seokjin and Jungkook’s back-to-back jokes that seem to never leave the air.

Only for a knock on the door to interrupt  their flow of jokes.

‘‘ I got it I got it.” Seokjin stammers, placing a beer bottle down and stumbling towards the door. You freeze, face turning pale once more. It’s them. It could be them. Your teeth find their way to your lips and you begin to chew on it excessively.

Ryan notices it and automatically gets up from Jungkook, ‘‘ Come Yn, lets go see if the game of pool is interesting.’‘

You nod your head slightly as you get up from the couch. What are you worrying for? You look extravagant tonight. No need to worry yourself.

Just before taking your first few steps you stop, that voice. That oh so familiar voice begins to inch closer and closer. The famous laugh that he always tries to stifle by putting his hand over his mouth, that you’ve always thought was so fucking cute, fills the air.

You don’t know what got over you, but you sit back down dragging Ryan down with you. “ Yn? What are you doing I thought you wanted to avoid him.’’

‘’ No it’s okay. Im going to be fine.’‘ You say, awaiting upon his arrival into the room.

The footsteps are haunting you with each step they take.

one..two..three..four..five..si-

‘‘ Everyone, Isabel and Jimin are here.’‘ Seokjin stammers, smiling wide clearly drunk from all the beer consumed.

Your eyes go directly towards his. The pit of your stomach flutters with nervousness as you hold the long stare with him. His facial expression shocked but not showing it at all. His partner, who’s arm is linked with his, smiles brightly at everyone bowing her head slightly to them including you.

‘‘ Sorry we are late. Jimin didn’t want to come out of his home studio but I’ve made him come along with me.’‘ Her voice gentle and soft.

‘‘ Yn I forgot let me show you my new painting i have received.” Jungkook says quickly, trying to escape you from the awkwardness.You can bare it though its not as bad as you thought.

‘‘ Maybe later Kookie. I’m going to grab some juice.”  You say, getting up from your spot. You brush past Jimin lightly with Ryan tailing along with you.

The spacious kitchen was perfect for you to escape for just a moment. Silence is golden. Ryan sighs, pouring you and her a glass of juice. Nothing is to be said yet. But you know she really wants to have her input.

Raising the glass to your lips, you take a sip letting the tanginess run across your tongue and down your throat. ‘’ Say it Ryan.’’

She puts her cup down and looks at you with your eyebrows furrowed, ‘’ You aren’t fine. Please just avoid them for the night.’’

You knew it was coming but you have to face the fact that they area couple anyways so why avoid it? Maybe your mind will finally accept it to see it in person.

‘‘ I have to face it one way or another so why not now?’‘

She shakes her head in disapproval, finishing the rest of her juice. “ No you don’t. You’re making yourself suffer and I don’t like it.’’

‘‘ Yn.. did you make these cookies?’‘ A voice says behind you. Ryan’s eyes go wide and then looks at you signaling for you to not turn around. But you do it anyways.

Isabel. How dare she call you by a pet name? You don’t even know her like that and she’s doing this. Anger wants to get the best of you but you remain humble and calm.

‘‘ Yes. Is there a problem though? Are they not good?’‘ You say, putting on your best innocent act.

She smiles as she moves a piece of hair of her perfectly framed face, ‘’ No they are great! I was wondering if i can have the recipe.. for Jimin’s purpose of course.’’

You breathe through your nostrils with your eyes closed. She knows what she’s doing. She likes seeing you suffer huh? ‘’ You can follow any recipe online. I just add almond extract and substitute white sugar for brown.’’

Ryan shakes her head slightly while sticking her cup into the sink. ‘’ I’m going to be back I have to use the restroom.’’

Once she leaves Isabel’s smile drops.’’ Almond? Im- Im allergic!” She says, semi yelling at you. You’re shocked more or so at the sudden outburst that you can’t speak. You had zero knowledge of her being allergic, it’s an accident for sure.

 “You did this on purpose!’’ She says, tears filling her eyes as she goes into a coughing fit.

Shit. You didn’t know if anyone was allergic to nuts here but you had put it in anyways because that was the secret ingredient

‘’ I- I didn’t know im sorry is there anything I can do?’’ You say, guilt taking over you while you rush to her side patting her back. 

‘‘ Get off of me! You did this on purpose! You never liked me anyways. Jimin! Jimin!‘ She scream’s, coughing and wheezing making her face red.

Multiple footsteps rush into the kitchen. You don’t know what to do at this point so you just back away and let whoever take over. All the commotion going on and yelling is starting to give you a slight headache. All of the boys surround her, bombarding with questions and asking each other what to do. 

‘‘ What’s all the yelling about? What happened! “ Jungkook exclaims rushing towards her hunched over body.

‘‘ What’s going on? “ That voice that haunts you everynight finally comes inside the kitchen. When he see’s Isabel he automatically rushes towards her side. It pains you to see him rush to another woman’s body. But that figure is no longer yours so he has every right to do that.

‘‘ She-She put almond in the cookies on purpose! She’s trying to–to-’‘ She manages to wheeze out before another coughing fit.

Jimin’s eyes meet yours full of rage but then taken over by concern. He knows your hurt. Still hurt from the past and from this very situation now. You don’t manage to keep eye contact, so the floor is your eyes’ bestfriend right now.

‘‘ Yn. is this true? Why would you do that?”  He says, eyes never leaving yours and voice soft.

You shake your head quickly, “ I didn’t know she was allergic. I always put almond extract an-’’

“ You knew better than to put any type or form of nut in a dish when bringing it to ones house. You never know if someone has an allergy to it.’‘ Jungkook scolds you, eyes furrowed in shame.

‘‘ Don’t blame her. She didn’t fucking know.” Ryan’s voice enters the room in madness. She comes to your side with her arms crossed. Your own personal savior. Without her, you’d still be feeling guilty and taking the blame.

‘‘ Besides, you knew better than to invite him if you knew he was going to bring the girl he cheated on her with.. right?’‘ She says, cocking her head to the side as her attitude takes over.

The room is silent again. Good girl Ryan. 

Isabel lifts her head in disbelief along with Jimin. “ Listen that’s beside the point. Just don’t do it again.” Jimin says, focusing his attention back on Isabel. He reaches into her purse to grab her Epi-pen.

His scolding is enough to send your eyes into tears. You shouldn’t of agreed to come. This is a disaster. You take the tuba-wear of cookies from the counter on your way out of the kitchen and dispose of them. Your vision is blurry and you don’t know where your going but you just need some air. You make lefts and rights down long and short hallways till you reach a room that has a balcony.

You slip on who-ever’s house slippers and open the sliding door revealing the winter’s cold harsh air. You lean on the railing and close your eyes breathe in and out heavily.

Wiping the tears away, You open our eyes and look straight ahead. The whole city is lit up such a beautiful view for a sad moment. The sad moment is cut short by the sliding door opening and closing. You don’t bother to turn around it’s probably just Ryan checking on you again. When are people going to stop doing that?

“ Yn.”

Thats the last voice you wanted to hear.

‘‘ Are you happy? Happy for scolding me infront of everybody.”  You sniffle, wiping away your leaking nose.

You hear some rustling before something is placed on your shoulders. You look down at the material and shrug it off of you.

‘‘ Give it to your girlfriend.”

‘‘ I can’t let you be cold. Put it back on.’‘ He sighs, picking it back up and coming closer to you. You both stand side by side. Jimin puts his jacket around you once more and before you could re-do your action just before, he speaks.

‘‘ Shrug it off again and I’ll scold you. Do you understand?’‘ He says firmly.

You don’t bother to speak. Silence is golden.

‘‘ Listen.. i know you still aren’t over the fact that we are through but-”

‘‘ Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Please go tend to your dying girlfriend.’‘ You say, sarcastically.

He huffs, “ She’s resting right now. She wouldn’t have to be if you wouldn’t of put-’’

You turn towards him slowly and meet his eyes daring for him to finish the rest of his sentence. ‘’ Don’t you fucking dare Park Jimin.’’

‘‘ Honorifics.’‘ He says, slightly looking down at you due to the height difference.

‘‘ You’re right Jimin-ssi.’‘

Jimin’s expression is taken a-back. You knew that one honorific word would hurt him.

‘‘ If we are done speaking I will take my leave now.” You say, eyes never leaving his as you take off his jacket and toss it to him, leaving him outside in the cold

This night was one of your worst mistakes. You thought you could handle it, but couldn’t. So maybe Ryan and Jungkook were right. Maybe you can’t handle it at all..

[loki-is-my-god-of-mischief]

Damn Holmes (Sherlock x Female!Reader)

A/N: This is part 3 of my The Game Is A Foot series. Please read part 1 & 2 first.

It has been a nearly a month since (Y/N) moved into 221B baker street and she has barely left the flat. John has been making regular visits to check in on her and make sure Sherlock is taking care of her properly. Let’s face it, Sherlock can barely look after himself never mind someone dealing with shock and grief. He even sometimes brings Rosamund with him to offer some distraction from (Y/N). Which works to bring a smile to her face….if only because Sherlock pouts at having to put his experiments away after John claims them to be non-baby friendly. ‘How else are they supposed to reach their cognitive developmental milestones John!’.

Today was one of the days that John had come to visit. He was sat in the living room with Sherlock, taking glances towards direction of the bedroom door. “Has she come out today? She seemed to be doing better the last time I was here. Has she eaten ye-” Sherlock flashes John a look that stops his rambling in its tracks. “Sorry. It’s just…I’ve been here for two hours and she still hasn’t come out. I’m worried.”

“You think I’m not?” Sherlock snaps.

“What? No, of course not.”

Sherlock opens his mouth to retort when the recognisable sound of a door opening interrupts him. Two pairs of eyes turn to watch as (Y/N) silently walks through the living room towards the kitchen, not even giving the boys a glance. There are various sounds coming from the kitchen of cupboard doors opening and closing followed by the fridge. After five minutes, (Y/N) re-emerges from the kitchen door. “Oh! Hey John. Sherly, we’ve got nothing in so I’m going to the shop. Need anything?”

Sherlock and John share a quick glance and John decided to speak, “I was planning on going to the shop anyway, I’ll go and get everything you need and bring it back.”

“No, that’s ok. I got it. Just tell me what you want John and I’ll grab your stuff too.”

The boys shared another glance, and this time Sherlock was the one to speak. “(Y/N)…” He was quickly interrupted by (Y/N).

“No. Stop. Don’t treat me like I’m a fragile baby. You’ve both been doing that non-stop for nearly a month. I’m going to the shop. It’s just ten minutes down the road. I’m not going to be scared into staying indoors all my life. I’m climbing up the walls in here, I’m ready to get back out there.”

(Y/N) stared both of them down with nothing but determination and neither one of them could begrudge her the opportunity to get their life back. “If you wanted to get back out there then why don’t you join me on my cases? I could use a doctor now that John is too busy looking after baby Sherlock”

John’s quiet mumble of “That’s not her name” went ignored. “Do you actually need a doctor or is this your way of keeping an eye on me?” (Y/N) accused.

“I don’t see why it can’t be both?”

“Ok, I’ll consider joining you on cases…..If you let me go to the shop.”

Neither John nor Sherlock could come up with a justifiable excuse, so they lamented. Besides, like she said the shop is ten minutes down the road, how much trouble could she get into.

________________________________________________________________

(Y/N) had dropped by at Mrs H’s to see if she needed anything from the shop whilst she was there and is now on the way with a big shopping list. Mrs H had been delighted that (Y/N) was finally getting out of the house again that she had provided her with a list of what looked to be at least fifty items. How she was expected to get this back alone was beyond her but she appreciated that it would give her more time outside. So engrossed in checking the list, she never noticed the black car with tinted windows creeping up behind her along the road.

“Get in” an unfamiliar female voice commanded. Startled, (Y/N) flinched away from the car. Her breathing started to pick up and she belatedly realised she was panicking. She didn’t recognise this woman, what if she had something to do with what happened to Claire. The mystery woman quickly realised that (Y/N) wasn’t going to get in the car anytime soon if she was panicking but she also didn’t have the time to calm her down in the street. She exited the now parked car and grabbed (Y/N) by the arms leading her towards the back of the car. (Y/N) instantly started to struggle, but she had no chance when she was struggling to even catch her breath. Once in the back of the car, the woman spent the time attempting to calm her. Asking her to name five thing she can see, four things she can touch, three things she can hear, two things she can smell, and one thing she can taste. It calmed her enough that she managed to finally stabilise her breathing only for her to pass out in the back of the car.

________________________________________________________________

When (Y/N) woke up, she was sat in a surprisingly comfortable chair. For a moment, she thought she was still back in 221B with Sherlock and relaxed back into the chair. Her eyes flew open when she remembered the car and the unfamiliar woman. Glancing around the room to gather her bearings, she was greeted with a familiar man sitting behind a desk, a slice of cake in front of him.

“Mycroft.”

“Hello (N/N). Would you like some cake?” (Y/N) stared at Mycroft astonished. Did he just ask…?

“Would I like some……No! No I would not like some cake! What the hell My? You can’t just have people grabbed from the street, that’s kidnapping! Who even was that? That wasn’t Andrea”

For a fraction of a second, Mycroft looked genuinely ashamed. He wiped it from his face very quickly. "I apologise. Andrea is ill and her sister Charlotte has been filling in for her. I had gotten used to using Charlotte instead of Andrea that I had not considered your reaction to someone you didn’t recognise collecting you for me. It was not my intention to scare you.” If Mycroft had been speaking to anyone else, expect maybe Sherlock, then they would have found that comment patronising. However, (Y/N) had known Mycroft a long time now and could recognise that he was being sincere.

“You should also know that I am doing everything in my power to find the person who killed Claire. I won’t let them hurt you. You’re family. Besides, it would be a waste to lose someone who is a lot smarter than the rest of the goldfish in this world.” As he was speaking, Mycroft has picked up the fork, ready to eat his slice of cake”

“I thought you were on a diet. I’ve been your doctor for the past year My, you shouldn’t be eating those with your current levels of cholesterol.” (Y/N) says in concern. Mycroft sighs, ponders, and eventually puts the fork back down.

“I suppose you’re right.” Even though he agreed, he couldn’t stop the disappointment from appearing on his face. (Y/N) sighs, hugs Mycroft and thanks him for trying to find Claire’s killer. Charlotte meets her at the door, ready to take her back home. Before she leaves, she turns back to Mycroft. “I suppose one small slice won’t hurt.” She had never seen a smile so warm on Mycroft’s face before.

________________________________________________________________

Charlotte had dropped her off outside of the café underneath her flat. She took a few minutes to collect herself before she goes back inside to face the inevitable interrogation from John and Sherlock. It brough a small smile to her face, thinking about how much they cared for her and have been there for her the past few months. As (Y/N)’s hand touches the doorknob to head inside, she pauses……she hadn’t gone shopping. “Damn Holmes”.

[favefandomimagines]

Enigma (b.b.)

Summary: you’re Bucky’s enigma. and he finally finds out why

AN: i love bucky barnes ALSO who says i can’t write about the multiverse?? there are no rules anymore! 

i’m also thinking about making this a little ongoing ‘series’ kind of like the tom holland one i’m doing. same characters, same characters plots, just different plots for each part, if that makes sense. 

taglist: @amourtentiaa

You and James Buchanan Barnes had a complex relationship. And that was putting it lightly. Ever since you joined the team, Bucky had some sort of hesitation towards you. You didn’t know why, you were always nice to him but he just shrugged you off. 

You tried not to take it personally but it was hard when he seemed to be the only person who didn’t like you. The reason he was so standoffish was because you were an enigma to him. You were something he hadn’t really seen before. 

Mainly due to the fact that you weren’t given your powers in an unfortunate circumstance. No one really knew how you got them, it was like you were just born with the power to control the cosmos or anything with cosmic energy. Which was something unheard of. He didn’t understand how someone could just be born with powers. And what he didn’t understand, he was scared of. 

But his constant distaste towards you began to deter you. You were beginning to want nothing to do with him and he could sense that. You would stop greeting him in the kitchen every morning. You’d stop offering to go on jogs with him and you barely spared him a second glance. 

Add that to the list of the things Bucky didn’t understand about you. 

__

You woke up one morning feeling off. Something seemed wrong but you couldn't quite figure out what it was. Pins and needles were creeping up your spine and into your neck and your fingers kept twitching. 

You've been able to safely control your powers for some time now so you didn’t know why you felt as if you couldn’t. 

Exiting your bedroom, you were too busy shaking your hands out to rid yourself of the tingling feeling, you weren’t watching where you were going. 

You ran right into someone and looked up slightly, seeing Bucky  standing before you. “Oh, sorry.” You said quietly, moving around him. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, grabbing your elbow gently. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” You lied. 

Bucky knew something was off. Your usual sunny disposition was replaced with a solemn attitude. Which was very rare for you. But you weren't going to tell him what was wrong and he didn’t blame you for that. 

He watched you walk away, walking like you were at a constant level of pain or discomfort. He walked down the hall towards Steve’s room, seeing that the door was open and invited himself in. 

“Hey, something’s going on with Y/N.” Bucky announced. “What do you mean?” Steve asked. “I ran into her in the hall and all she did was say sorry. No conversation, no attempt at telling me a joke.” Bucky explained. “Well, she did say she was going to give up on making you like her. Maybe that’s it.” Steve replied. “This was different. She looked in pain.” Bucky rebutted. 

“I’m sure she’s fine, Buck.” Steve said. The rest of your day seemed to go on like normal, minus the dull ache in your body. You did some reading, helped Bruce in the lab like you always did. Until Steve scheduled you for training. 

The thing about Steve, was that he wanted  everyone to be in fighting shape. So, he’d schedule everyone for training sessions designed to focus on their strengths. On any other day, you wouldn’t complain, but today was not your day. 

You reluctantly walked into the training room, finding both Steve and Bucky present. “Alright, Y/N, you ready?” Steve asked. “Want the truth or just what you want to hear?” You questioned. “I know these aren’t everyone’s favorite thing to do but they’ll make you stronger which makes us stronger as a team.” Steve explained. 

“Now, your powers are very multipurpose. So, I just want to start on the cosmic defense, okay?” He added. “Is that why Barnes is here with a gun?” You asked. “He’s just here to help.” Steve said. “Yeah right.” You muttered. 

The training session began and everything was going okay. You harnessed the right amount of cosmic energy to block Bucky’s bullets and Steve’s shield. 

But soon, it became too much too fast. You could practically hear your heart beating in your ears and the pins and needles sensation became a million times worse. You couldn’t focus due to the pounding in your head. 

You stopped defending yourself as you gripped your head out of pain. You could feel the meteor showers, the solar flares, everything the pain was causing. You were reducing the objects in the training room down to the atom. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Steve asked, him and Bucky approaching you. “It hurts. It hurts so bad.” you cried. “I told you there was something wrong.” Bucky told his friend. 

He moved to pick you up and rush to get you help wherever he could find it. 

“Banner, can you help her?” Bucky questioned, entering the lab. You had curled yourself into Bucky, trying to relieve some of your pain. 

“What happened to her?” Bruce asked. “I don’t know. We were just training and her powers went out of control. But something was wrong this morning.” Bucky explained, setting you down on the table. “That explains the cosmic phenomenon no one can explain. Meteor showers, solar flares. NASA reported three cosmic storms in the past five minutes.” Bruce explained. “I need to sedate her before it gets worse.” He added. Bruce stuck a needle in your arm and you soon visibly relaxed. 

“Do any of us really know anything about her powers?” He questioned. “You don’t, but I do.” Tony announced, standing in the doorway. 

“There was no crazy experimentation, no cosmic event that gave them to her. She was simply born with them, because her father had powers too,” Tony started. “It’s called the X gene. A genetic mutation that gives the person different and unique abilities. They were all wiped out years ago by the US government. She’s the last one and her father came to me to keep her safe.” He added. “She’s a mutant?” Bruce asked.

“Yes, she is. And no one knew until now. The thing about the X gene, is that it makes it harder to learn control. The more the body changes the more the mutation changes. I thought she had a handle on her powers but I guess not.” Tony explained. “Will she be okay?” Bucky asked. “She just needs to sleep it off.” Tony said. “Who was her father?” Bruce asked. “His name was Erik. That’s all you need to know.” Tony answered before leaving the room. 

You were unconscious for hours. The much needed sleep completely calming your powers down. When you awoke, you were back in your bed and it was already dark outside. You looked over and saw that Bucky was asleep in the blue chair you had sat in the corner. 

“Bucky,” You spoke gently. The man stirred slightly before coming to. Bucky noticed you were awake and moved to sit on the edge of your bed. “Are you okay?” He asked. “Wasn’t sure you cared.” You answered, sitting up straighter. 

“Believe it or not, I do care. I’ve been this way towards you  because how you make me feel scares the hell out of me. I call you an enigma. Because you’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. And that’s before I knew you were a mutant.” Bucky said. 

You looked up at him at the sound of the ‘M’ word, not remembering having told him of your mutation. 

“Did Tony tell you?” You asked. “Yeah. Told me and Banner.” He said. “Now you know. The crazy genetic mutation that made me the  last of the mutants. What made me feel alone once again.” You laugh bitterly. 

“You’re not alone, Y/N. As long as you’re here, you’ll never be alone.” Bucky told you. “How can you promise me that?” You asked. “Because I’m going to try like hell to make sure you never feel that way again.” He answered. 

You gave Bucky a look of disbelief at his words. “You really do care don’t you?” You asked quietly. “It’s been really hard not too, doll.” He told you. 

You gave him a warm smile, one that Bucky had never seen you use towards him. “Who was your father? Do you know?” He questioned. “All I know is the name they gave him. Magneto.” You answered.

“But he’s gone now. I don’t know what happened to him or the rest of the mutants, but I’ve never met him.” You added. “I’m sure he’d be proud of you.” Bucky said. 

You didn’t believe him though. You don’t think your father would be proud. How could he be proud of the daughter he left behind? 

“I know I’m proud of you.” Bucky added. That’s all you needed. You didn’t need your absentee father’s approval. If you had Bucky, that was enough.

[butterflydm]

wheel of time (pre-rewatch)

I’m planning on rewatching the first three episodes of Wheel of Time this weekend, and I might do reviews for each of them, but I wanted to share some overall thoughts first.

So, I actually watched this with my mom, because she’s the one who introduced me to all of these sorts of books (I also went to Dune with her, which is another thing I want to rewatch in order to really dig into it, but going to the theater again is harder than just queuing up episodes on prime, so!), and she and I were both pretty thrilled with the adaptation (my mom actually liked this better than she liked Dune 2021, which I am not personally willing to go as far as yet, lol, but I liked it a whole lot).

They changed a lot of things from the books, but all the changes so far do make a reasonable amount of sense to me. Now, I did deliberately refrain from re-reading the books once we knew for sure the series was happening, because I wanted to be able to experience the show with a somewhat fresh eye, and I think that approach really worked for me. I wasn’t caught up on specific scenes but more thinking about if the flow of the show suited the series as a whole, which it definitely did for me.

(and now we go into Book Spoilers territory)

To start with the most controversial thing... Perrin’s short-lived wife. I get why she existed and why she died. Was she the best way to convey that information (Perrin being scared of his own strength and terrified of losing control and hurting the people he loves)? I’m gonna give that a firm... I don’t know. But there are more than enough female characters with rich and interesting stories that I’m personally not too emotionally hung up over her death. I mean, given that the prologue isn’t in the show (...yet? we might get flashbacks in the future idk), I kinda feel like we just traded one fridged wife for a different one, you know? And Perrin is even more in his own head than the other boys are, so it helps to have something external to illustrate his issues.

I straight-up just approve of the change in Mat’s background. It fits very thematically with where his character goes in the future and gives him some emotionally grounded moments before his personality gets affected by Shadar Logoth.

Egwene and Rand’s romance upgrade before the break-up -- I liked it! I liked all their scenes together, honestly. I’ve always had a soft spot for them, though Rand’s upcoming set of relationships is my everything. If I get canon polycule on-screen, I may well expire on the spot. Like, Rand’s polycule was my Sense8-type emotional awakening before Sense8 existed, if you understand my feelings on the matter. There is a line directly from my love of the polycule to my love for Sense8.

Lan and Nynaeve were perfect. That is all. Oh, wait, Lan and Moiraine’s incredibly-close but non-sexual relationship... also perfect. Moiraine saying Siuan’s name while she was delirious and sick? Perfect. tbh, if they use introducing Thom later as a way to subtly begin to un-canon M/T so that we can get M/S endgame instead, every change they made is absolutely justified and I will defend them to the death.

Oh, other amazing characterization things -- loved the change they made to the Taren’s Ferry scene. Moiraine was so cold there but so justified in it. The show did a fantastic job of illustrating the Three Oaths in action, imo, in that scene and then in the Whitecloaks scene.

(the Whitecloaks? Terrifying!)

I felt like the episodes did get stronger as they went along -- three felt the strongest of all, for me -- oh! yes, loved Dana the Darkfriend. Getting that nihilistic philosophy out there near the start of the show was a good thing and that actress was amazing.

For me, the show is a five out of five banger and I am going to be on the edge of my seat every week waiting for the new episode to come out.

[onbeinganangel]

hello! question for a rainy day. what are your top five favorite fics you've ever written? why?

hello my evil little darling, brightest star in the sky 🌟 you know exactly what you’re doing with this question and i hate you so much for it, thank you xxxxx

1. [redacted fic I can’t talk about as well you know, you terrible, terrible human being]

seriously though, even without that this is such a tough question buuuuut in chronological order we have:

1. Forever Yours/Yours Forever (wolfstar, M, 2.8k) — This was the first thing I ever posted on ao3 and it’s a very Mari brand of angst imo! At the point I posted this I think I had finished writing Inevitable but was too scared to post something that long and I had also finished taught by thirst and wanted something angstier and less spicy to balance it all out. I wrote it in one sitting and I’m still really proud of the post-Azkaban Sirius voice that I wrote for it. My feelings and thoughts on the Harry Potter series have shifted a lot in the past few years for a lot of reasons, but Sirius has always been a character I really love and I think even in canon his story is so so heartbreaking and he’s truly one of those characters you wish you could wrap up in a blanket and protect (shit just keeps happening to this man, like, give him a break) and I really enjoy writing his POV.

2. taught by thirst  (jeddy, E, 6k) — I wrote taught by thirst for Sudsfest 2020, which was my first fest, so that makes it really, really special in my eyes. I didn’t know a lot of people back then, I was mostly still lurking and I was super nervous about it, but really wanted to go for it. I immediately fell in love with the prompt that inspired it, but I told myself to wait a couple of days (convinced the prompt was so good someone else would take it) and if no one took it, I’d claim it. And there it was, waiting for me when I went to check days later, so I no longer had any excuse not to write it. The prompt also came with a really good choice of pairings and I think I was a bit nervous about writing Drarry and just thought why not try my hand at a little bit of Jeddy? I think it’s a really fun piece and I do like a devious Teddy (I mean, come on, he is Tonks’ AND Remus’ kid, the boy is TROUBLE!!!) and I think there’s a really good balance of smut and sweetness and mischief in it.

3. Inevitable (From the Very Start) (drarry, 54k) — Lord, I’m sorry, I AM going to talk about it again. You did ask, though. I started writing Inevitable sometime… last summer? I don’t know? And I was… not doing so hot back then. This is truly one of those “I want to read a fic about X” and then you blink and you’re suddenly writing a fic about X. I keep describing Inevitable as my ultimate horcrux — I think everything you write or create ends up having a little bit of you in it whether you want it or not, but I am convinced Inevitable may have a little bit more of my soul in it than your average piece lol. I don’t like re-reading it because I feel like I’d write it really differently now but I still love it a lot. It’s Drarry in their 40s just… navigating life and really settling. You’ve got a neurotic widower Draco carrying a fuckton of grief and anxiety with him wherever he goes and you’ve got a no-fucks-given go-with-the-flow divorcee Harry just completely arse over tit for Draco. There are some big angsty/dramatic moments in it, but I feel like it’s all very slice of life, falling in love, lives melding together with all there is to them (friends, children, devious ex-wife, dead wife, jobs, dreams, etc).

4. Petrichor, Pineapple and Pomegranate (wolfstarbucks, E, 6k) — What’s a girl to do if she really loves triads and Wolfstar but also has a soft spot for Prongsfoot? Write. This. Fic. I’m going to be honest, I don’t even remember how my Year Of The Threesome Series idea came to be anymore (other than I was affectionately bullied into it by some people) and I don’t know how I decided that this would be the first one but it just happened. I wrote most of it in one day, it has one of my favourite passages/paragraphs I have ever written in it, I got to indulge in some scent kink and I got to write three best friends just banging it out. What’s not to like?

5. heavy (drarry, E, 6k) — Right. This one. Good afternoon from the most self indulgent shit I have ever written. Truly. heavy is the last of my Kinkuary series which proceeded to kill my ability to write while also teaching me that I am capable of so much more than I could have ever imagined. I’d saved the drarry pairing for last because they’re my favourite and tbh it seemed like a lot of pressure. There are already so many good kinky Drarry fics out there and I was so intimidated by the idea — so many of my favourite fic writers write mostly/exclusively Drarry and it was honestly daunting to even think about it. So I ignored it and wrote all the other filthy rarepairs like there wasn’t a massively scary thing waiting for me at the end like a sour middle to a delicious sweet. What ended up happening was that I was so fucking exhausted when I got to the end of Kinkuary that I went ‘fuck it.’

(Where’s that ‘I’m gonna give [me] everything [I] want’ or that ‘I’m gonna create a [fic] that is so [self-indulgent]’ meme when I need it? Lmao)

All through February, I kept a list of possible kinks to write for it since the last day didn't have a prompt/was a wildcard, and when I got to it I just... wrote a fuckton of them all into the same fic just because I wanted to!

In the end, I wrote the scary kink I’d wanted to write for ages, I wrote drarry falling in love through little snippets of smut packed with a ton of subtext and feeling and I was just really pleased that I put together this porn soup I would have never have put together in any other context.

And there you have it. I will change my mind again in 0.3 seconds but right now those are my favourite 5 fics I've written! Thank you for coming into my house and forcing me to pick my favourite puppies out of the litter lol

[washymylifeaway]

IwaOi fanfic recs: my top 10

Okay so I have like so many wips that I keep looking at and then I like don’t? do? them? It’s fine :’))))) But instead of me finishing those, here’s my top 10 picks for IwaOi! This will probably become a series for the ships I like, but we’ll see LOL. Usually when I rec fics, it’s just any that I’ve read and enjoyed, but these are the ones I keep coming back to! Also I made this cause the IwaOi ship has SO many fics and if I had to do a WHOLE fic rec list, I would never finish (ie. the sakuatsu draft ahahaha).

Let’s get this party started :D

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Ignore the fact that some of these are from my other posts OKAY :(

1. The Loyalty of a Traitor by DeathBelle (E) 76.9k /cp/ ok so does me liking this fic make me basic cause I feel basic LOL. I really love mafia fics, and the way the story line developed was SO good, like IN LOVE with this story. This is a fic where you should read WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARY before diving in, but if the length scares you, don’t be. It’s so easy to fall in and get lost in the writing!

2. Conquering the Great King by SuggestiveScribe (E) 105.6k /cp/ I LOVE THIS SERIES AHHHHHHHHH. Honestly I know the 105.6k word count is SCARY I UNDERSTAND BUT it is SO worth it. This is the first fic of the series and it's mainly IWAOI, but there are other ships too so if IWAOI isn't your thing, check for the other ships :) Also if you don't mind smut (cause it is explicit for a reason LOL) then please I beg of you to read the whole series!!!!!!! I love love love this one and it really got me invested in the whole fanfic thing LOL.

3. Shiver by Yuu_chi (T) 16.7k // THIS UGH. I’ve BEEN in LOVE with this fic for like five-ever omg. It’s SO good and the character portrayal and plot progression in this is AMAZING. Whenever I come across it, I always reread it cause it’s just so worth it! (Also that paragraph about Iwa trash talking himself made me laugh OMG.)

4. the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu (chanyeol) (T) 66.3k /cp/ again, basic? Probably LOL but it’s good so I have no shame ;) Again, pls don’t let the word count scare you (cause it scared me LOL), you get really into it after like 2 paragraphs, so just make sure you have enough time to finish hehe.

5. dyspnea/arrhythmia by carafin (T) 10.8k // I adore medical fics and I also love Iwa being good with kids,,,, (I think it’s very fitting okay? And the pokemon cameo was great) This was such a great fic and Iwa + Suga being friends is SO CUTE (crying into his orange juice, I want to be). I REALLY loved this fic, and the ending was *chef’s kiss*!!!! (STAN PAEDS IWA)

6. Build A Temple In Me by Authoress (T) 39.7k // God Oikawa and idgaf Iwa is such a good combination. UGH. I loved the plot of this fic and the conflict was done SO WELL. I also loved how Iwa kept coming back and HIS GRANDMA IS THE BEST <33333 But also their friendship was SO CUTE (THE SONG GUYS THE SONG) and poor Kyoutani :( (There’s also a spicy second fic you should read hehe!)

7. i'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you by baekuugo (insxouts) (M) 22.5k // UGH SINGLE DAD IWA? Yes please!!! I really love the plot in this one and sassy Kageyama + Hinata + Yachi is such a cute friendship! Also a proud stan of the IwaOi + SugaDai friendship agenda,,,, I love them. (Beware some spice is included aka smut LOL)

8. to be first, to be best by kittebasu (chanyeol) (T) 26.4k /cp/ okay I think I've read this fic like 3 times already (4 now cause I reread it for this list and I remember why I love this fic AGAIN LOL OOPS), but the plot never sticks with me LOL. Not cause it's a bad fic, but because I have a crap memory. Regardless, I know it's a good fic because like I said I managed to re-read on 2 3 separate occasions so yea. (it’s a really cute fic and I really enjoyed the ending, esp the extra! Also stupid, oblivious iwa is bae)

9. silver tongue by ohhotlamb (E) 10.3k // OKAY THIS WAS FUNNY. Like the betrayal and such made me laugh and it was embarrassing. All the emotions in one LMFAO. And like everyone in this fic and the secret operation? OMG. Anyway, there’s a second fic and ITS PRETTY MUCH GOLD AS WELL so like go read them both (RIP pizza party) :D (SMUT ALERT AHAHA)

10. love me like you do by crossbelladonna (T) 100.5k // this fic was SUCH a rollercoaster omg. First, the concept itself was great and the execution was flawless and Ushiwaka was ajfnlajsdnf. AND THE ENDING!!!! THE ending omg. And Lev being a car made me laugh LMFAO. And we love f ups AHHHHH. If this made no sense, you’re right,,, it didn’t,,, so you should go read it so it does HAHAHA.

In hindsight, this 10 limit made me cry because I had like 20 of them and I had to sift through them but even then the 20 was from a larger pile which was in a larger pile.... TLDR: I wanted to put more fics :’))))) But honestly, the ranking of these are pretty loose and like when I say that I mean you could literally just randomize the numbers and I would accept it LOL. The way I might just end up making a pt 2 of IwaOi cause as I was making this list, I kept rereading all the fics (which is why it took so long to come out hahahahahahha) and I fell back in love with IwaOi (like I was ever not lost in IwaOi hell)...... But yea these are my “top 10″ theoretically (misinterpret that as you will as I cry over the fics I couldn’t/didn’t include).

[santigarcia]

Electric Plug 🔌

Human Touch Part Seven

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

word count: 4.5k

rating: M for smut, dirty talk, slight mentions of violence and cheating (pls don’t read unless ur 18+!)

summary: You go see Nathan after his accident, and an old flame rekindles. 

a/n: thank you all so much for reading this series! let me know what yall think! thank you to @punkpascal​ and @sergeantkane​​ as always!!

You call the hospital, pleading with them to give you information if he’s ok. But all you hear is a loud click. This is the only time that Nathan’s fame bothers you. It makes you sick to think that people want to know if he’s ok for their gossip mags. You feel guilt, and that gnawing raw feeling deep in your gut that only he gave you.

For the next few weeks, you keep tabs on him. Your wedding is in less than a month, and you’ve spent more time stalking the internet for info on your ex than you have with your own wedding. But all the work is being done for you. Jack seems to be more involved in it than you.

All you can think about is Nathan. You suppose that’s a bad thing, right before your wedding. But you want to know he’s alright. He could have died thinking you hate him. And while you did for some time, you don’t anymore. If you’re being totally honest you kind of hated him even when you were together. He drove you insane sometimes, but you miss that.

As soon as you get the word Nathan has been sent home, you call your cousin up.

“Aren’t you getting married in a week?”

Yes, yes you are. But you need to see him. You tell her that you need to get a way for just a day or two, that the stress of the wedding is too much. She agrees to let you come up, and you plan to fly back to the states together.

It’s been so long since you got lost and showed up soaking wet at Nathan’s door. This time, you dress for the occasion. Your best little black dress. Sleek heels. You do your hair, makeup, and wear the perfume that used to drive him wild. You’re not entirely sure why you do this, but deep down you know. You just won’t admit it. You want him to admit he fucked up. You want him to want you back.

So, when you knock on his door, you yourself feel a little thrill. But the nerves hit. You haven’t spoken to him in at least two years, and neither of you got closure from the situation. You’re about to reopen a wound that’s barely healed.

Or maybe not – he’s not answering the door.

You start to bang on it, you know he’s home. The lights are on.

“Nathan! Open up!”

When the door finally opens, you’re greeted with Nathan, his face one of surprise, but it quickly turns to a scowl.

”I know I am the last person you want to see right now but-“

“What? What do you want?” he cuts you off. You think of all the things you want to tell him. To ask him. You want to apologize; you want him to apologize. You want to know if he’s ok. But that’s not what comes out.

“Ok I know things ended badly, but I'm getting married next week and-“ you grab him and kiss him deeply. Your tongue delves into his mouth, and he quickly deepens the kiss himself. “I need you.” You tell him, you’re breathless.

“You’re gonna regret this, baby,” he grabs your ass and pulls you to him, and somehow manages to close the door behind you both.

“Make me regret it,” you moan into him. Damn, you’ve missed this. This is the raw passion you’ve been missing. His strong arms hold you tight and he backs you into a wall. His hands are on your dress, already quick to hike it up over your hips.

With the quirk of a brow, he looks at you when he sees you’re without underwear. Ok, maybe this is what you wanted.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ ruin you, baby.” He sucks on your neck as he wraps your legs around his waist. His teeth almost hurt, but it’s a good pain, you wouldn’t trade it for anything. “You shouldn’t even be near here. Near me.”

“Please, I’m begging you,” you whine. You didn’t mean to sound this desperate but now that his hands and mouth are on you it just comes out. You claw at his shirt, wanting him to take it off. You need his skin on yours. He pulls back to tug it off, and in the process, he rips your dress open. This frees your bare chest, and he grabs your tits with a fiery aggression. He squeezes them and bites on your shoulder.

His chest is heaving, and the truth spills out.

“I missed you so fuckin’ much, you know that? No one takes my cock quite as well as you do.”

You hate that he’s right, and it only makes you wetter for him.

“No one gives it like you do,” you tell him, moaning trying to get him to push himself inside. You’re desperate, aching.

“Damn right.” He lightly smacks your clit, and you cry out. “I’m the only one who fucks this pussy right.”

“Please!” you buck your hips trying to urge him on. “I need you!”

He finally gives you what you want and thrusts into you hard. He fills you so well, and you choke out a gasp. He’s so proud of himself, he can’t let this moment slip by.

“Oh, you always take me so well kitten,” he grunts shifting his position and hitting you deeper. “This is my pussy, isn’t it? You love it when I fuck this tight pussy? Say it.”

“Nathan!” you dig your nails into his back, and he buries his face into your neck.

“Say it.”

“I love it when you fuck this tight pussy!” you scream as he rubs his thumb over your clit. He’s giving it hard, but you need it. You need all of him. And he fuckin’ knows it.

“Yeah, I can tell how much you love it,” he growls. “You love having my big cock inside you, don’t you? I bet your little fuck toy fiancé can’t fill you nearly as well as I do, does he?”

“No,” you gasp, “only you. I belong to you.”

“Good girl, fuck!” his head falls on your shoulder, he rubs your clit harder to match his heavy thrusts. “I want you to come for me and show me just how good you can be. Okay kitten?”

You whine and claw at him, “I’m so close, please! Let me come!”

“Do it. Come all over my fucking cock.”

With the sound of his voice and the press of his thumb, you find your release. It’s white hot and intense, and your lower back cramps from the intensity of your squeezing around him. You gasp for air and grunt while he still pushes into you. He’s chasing his high and you want him to hit it.

“FUCK! Fuck, can I come inside you?” his voice is full of need, he’s not above begging to fill you up.

“Do it,” you say back to him. “I want all of you.” And that’s the truth.

“Fuck, fuck. That’s it. Oohhh. Oh shit, you take my cum so well,” he chuckles and kisses your cheek. Your bodies still but your chests heave together.

“He doesn't - not like this.” In fact, he’s never given you such pleasure. It’s only ever about him.

“Poor baby, you’ve been neglected, haven’t you?” He smirks kissing you again. “Your thin dick fiancé can’t take care of you properly, hmm?”

“Nathan you wouldn't believe, he- he just doesn't- You know exactly what to do to get me soaked,” you sigh and flutter around him when he pulls out.

“I know you. More than just sexually.”

You nod, he truly does.

“Fuck we made a mess,” he grins and sets you down on the floor. Your knees tremble and your dress is torn around your waist. Nathan’s slick is sliding down your thighs. “Come on,” he hands you his shirt off the floor, and he pulls your torn-to-shreds dress off your body.

You follow him down the familiar maze of his home into your bedroom. You sit down on the bed and he disappears into the bathroom. He returns with a rag to clean you up, and when he’s finished, he lays down beside you. He curls up close to you and kisses your neck before he gets settled.

It’s quiet for a while. You just hold each other in silence. It’s nice. A still moment with him is what you’ve been missing.

He breaks the silence with a sigh, then comes the question you’ve been waiting for.

”Do… do you love him?”

Tears well up in your eyes, and you feel your chest tighten. Nathan’s calm, but you know he’s dying for an answer.

“I- I don't know anymore. I started dating him after we broke up because well, he wasn't you. And now that's- that's the problem. He's safe.  But he’s boring. And he only cares about himself.”

It’s as if you’re just now realizing what you’ve known all along.

“Don’t marry him.” It’s not a plea, it’s not a demand. It’s a casual statement. But when he buries his face in your neck that tells you how he really feels. “I know we didn’t part on the best of terms, but… fuck, I’ve missed you.”

“Really? I- I mean I know we just angry fucked – But I thought you would never wanna see me again. Especially after what I did to you. We both did stupid things.”

“Baby I missed you the whole time. Didn’t you know? I was angry and scared because I was in love with you and it just seemed better to let you go then to end up hurting you.” He sighs pulling you in closer, his lips press softly into your skin. “But then cuz I was an asshole I hurt you and pushed you out.”

“I know, I think I always knew.”

“And he’s cheating on you anyways.”

“What?”

“Oh shit, that’s right. You never saw the texts. I told you everything.”

You sit up and look down at him laying in the bed. He’s so gorgeous, it’s as if you’ve forgotten. You’re still that girl with a crush on him.

“I ignored the texts cuz I was mad at you over the AI. He’s really cheating on me?”

“I know,” he smiles sadly. “I’m onto new tech now though. Smart Home Devices. But yeah, shit baby, I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you. I stalked him online,” he clears his throat. “You know-“

“Cuz you were jealous,” you giggle and lean down to kiss the grey spot on his head.

“Ok, yeah fuck it I was. I wanted to see who I lost you to. But then it was pretty obvious he was cheating, and I tried to let you know, but you never answered.”

“I’m sorry about that, by the way. For not answering.”

“I’m sorry I did all that behind your back.”

“It’s just- if I had been here,” you start to sniffle. You look down at the scar on his chest, and it makes your heart pound. “What if something had happened, and I never got to tell you…” you wipe your tears on your sleeve. “Are you okay?” You reach out and touch the scar on his chest. His skin chills from your touch, but he’s still, he lets you touch him.

“I’m not okay without you. But yeah, I’m fine. Couple scars.”

“And what did you mean earlier? When you said you were in love with me? Was? Does this mean you aren't in love with me anymore? What am I even doing here? I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone has been making decisions for me. No one cares about what I want.”

“Hey, easy kitten.” That familiar nickname. “No, I… I’m still in love with you.” He sits up to cup your face, forcing you to look at him. “I want you to choose. if you want to stay… I want to be better for you. But I want you to make the choice yourself.”

“Nathan, I- the fact that you want me to choose is making me want to stay.”

“Then stay,” he strokes your cheek with his thumb. “But only if it’s what you think is best for you.”

“You're what's best for me, no one has cared for me like you do. And no one gets under my skin like you do either,” you lean up to kiss his lips. “Listen to me right now Nathan. If I do this, if I call off that wedding, you have to promise me right now some changes will be made around here. For both of us.”

“I promise. I swear. Name it and it’s done.”

“I'm not telling you to stop drinking, but go easy ok? You scare me sometimes when you overdo it.”

“Done. Truth be told, if I have you, I won’t really need to drink. Being with you… it quiets my mind. What else?”

“I wanna be the only one. If you need to, I don't know, fuck one of the AI’s for some science thing that's fine, just tell me about it and don’t lie to me. But if it's for you to blow off steam? Come get me. Ok?”

“You’re the only pussy I want, I promise. And I’m done with them. Could never get them wet and warm like you,” he winks and pulls you into his arms. “You’re all I need.”

“And last thing….I need you to help me think of a way to tell my family and my fiancé this whole thing is off,” you wince at the thought. Either way you’re breaking it off with Jack because he’s cheating but bringing Nathan back after having just slept with him means you cheated too. “Because I technically cheated on him with you,” you say aloud.

“Nah, kitten. You decided it was over with him the moment you came out here. Fuck having cold feet, you were done.”

“You’re right,” you sigh, you couldn’t admit it to yourself, but he sees right through you. He always has.

“I know,” he grins.

“Ugh you ass,” you shove his chest.

“Ow, my scar!” he flops back dramatically on the bed. You play along and kiss all over his face.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“I’m not. What if you had gotten hurt? I’d never forgive myself. I was already a damn mess after you left.”

You can’t curl into him any closer, but it doesn’t stop you from trying. His warmth is so comforting. The smell of his soap on his skin. The expensive beard oil. You’ve missed rubbing that into his beard. Everything about being close to him reminds you that this is right, this is what you want. He is who you want.

“What about the wedding? It’s next week,” you sigh. The thought fills you with dread having to cancel everything.

“What if you went through with it? And then I come in and crash the wedding,” he chuckles. “Always wanted to crash a wedding.”

“Wait, that’s not a bad idea,” you giggle.

“We can do anything you want, baby. Hell, I’ll crash your wedding and be your groom if you want.”

“Did you- did you just say what I thought you said?” you sit up to look at him, you want to read the expression on his face. His eyes are serious, but there’s a slight smile on his lips, he nibbles on his lip.

“If you wanted. I know we’ve never talked about that, but… I’d like to. I wouldn’t mind getting hitched,” he shrugs, but you know he means it.

“I thought you didn’t believe in marriage,” you feel tears welling up in your eyes. This changes everything.

“People assume that,” he chuckles sitting up, his hands rub your thighs. “I’m not opposed. And if it would make you happy, then why the hell not?”

“I want that more than anything!” you lean forward to kiss him, and he leans back pulling you with him. His thumb strokes your back while you kiss his cheeks and lips.

“Then let’s get married. I wanna make you Mrs. Bateman,” he hums kissing you and he squeezes your hip.

“You’re gonna hate Jack,” you laugh realizing they’ll have to meet at some point.

“He’ll hate me when he realizes I’m stealing his fiancé.”

“I can’t believe I was going to marry him. I felt like I had to. I was mad at you, and I thought that would be my way to get back at you by saying yes, even though I felt pressured. I don't know what made me come back here to you, but I'll spend the rest of my life glad I did.”

“You came back because I’m irresistible,” he gives you a playful look. “I’m glad you came. I’m so glad you’re back. I want you to make your own decisions, so… I really hope you don’t feel like you have to marry me.”

“No, I want to. I want to marry you. I want you in my life. You respect me enough to make my own decisions. And you know where my g-spot is.”

He snorts out a laugh, “Ahhh, yes, my primary function as your future husband. Honestly wouldn’t mind if you just used me like a glorified sex toy. That’d probably be hot.”

You smile and kiss him again. You can’t seem to stop, and you don’t want to. He wraps his arms around you and your legs tangle between the sheets. He pushes into you slowly, your bodies mold together and it’s everything you could want.

“I can’t wait to crash your wedding,” he muses. You laugh imaging the chaos.

“You can’t wait to make a scene, can you?”

“Kitten, I am the scene.”

“What am I getting myself into?” you laugh.

You fall asleep in his arms that night and leaving his warmth the next morning is one of the hardest things you do.

“It’s just a few more days kitten,” he reassures you. And you know that but having him and then leaving is worse than you could have imagined.

Now you have to go back and pretend you’re excited to marry Jack. The excitement part is easy, you are excited about getting married, just not to Jack. You almost feel guilty, living this lie. But then you remember Jack has been cheating on you this entire time.

You went back and read the texts Nathan sent you on your flight home. Some of them broke your heart. Some of them were genuinely funny and he was trying to make you laugh. Anger burned in you when you found the texts about Jack. It was plain as day and you felt stupid, you’d missed it. You know all these women and it makes so much sense. There’d be nights when he was gone and had no excuse to be out of the house.

You don’t blame Nathan for fucking one of his AI’s. He was stressed and overwhelmed with love for you he panicked. Sure, it was a dick move, and he wasn’t thinking straight. But he knew it was wrong and apologized for it. Over and over. He’d tell you later that after you left, he couldn’t get off like he could when he was with you. The AI fucking was over, and after one almost killed him, he gave it up.

But Jack is flat out cheating on you and has been lying about it for years. He had the nerve to propose to you while he had women on the side. You feel so stupid.

You’re out of it during the rehearsal dinner. You pay attention to nothing during the actual rehearsal. Nathan is going to be there tomorrow and break it all up. You feel those butterflies thinking about him coming to save you.

He’s nervous. He’s barely talked to you, but you know why. This is a big change for him, but one he’s ready to embrace. He’s not one to back down from a challenge.

You wake up the day of your wedding with a text from Nathan. All it says is “good morning.”

If there was any doubt he wouldn’t show up, this blew them all away. He’ll be there.

You just don’t know when.

It changes everything. When you put on your dress, all your bridesmaids and family comment on how you’re glowing and radiant. You got this dress with Nathan in mind, you can’t wait for him to see you in it.

There’s a tremble in your step as you’re escorted down the aisle. No one knows the secret you’re hiding.

It’s at this moment you start to get anxious. You don���t know when he’ll interrupt. What if he backs out and you have to leave Jack in the middle of the ceremony?

Jack takes your hands; your heartbeat is rapid and sweat is on your palms. This isn’t the man you want, and it’s taking all of your willpower to not turn and look for Nathan.

The minister opens his mouth to speak when you hear a loud “STOP.”

Everyone else turns with shock to see Nathan at the end of the aisle, but you- you’re beaming, and tears fall down your cheeks.

His expression is soft, his eyes look like they’re about to spill over with tears. You’ve never seen him look so handsome. His beard is trimmed, he’s in tight grey slacks and a crisp white dress shirt. The sleeves are rolled up on his forearms, and you want to eat him alive he looks so good.

You waste no time running down the aisle to him. His arms open ready to catch you in a hug when you leap for him. He chuckles when your bodies touch- the air knocked out of him.

“Hey gorgeous,” he kisses your cheek. “You ready?” he asks stroking your cheek softly.

You nod and he takes your hand.

“Don’t look back.”

You take his hand; he squeezes it tight and you walk out front where a sleek black car is waiting for you. It takes you into town to the justice of the peace. The two of you thought this was simpler – and more appropriate than crashing a wedding and taking it over for your own. And as much as Nathan likes to make a scene, a smaller ceremony is more his speed.

“You look beautiful,” he tells you as you walk inside. He can’t take his eyes off you.

“Just don’t rip this one in half,” you snort out a laugh taking his arm.

“Baby, I’ll buy you a new one,” he pretends to pout.

When you reach the office, you gasp to see a handful of your immediate family standing there waiting for you.

“How did you-“ you gape looking around at them all.

“Called your family ahead of time,” Nathan shrugs. “Consider it one of my many wedding gifts to you baby.”

You marry him there in that little office. His warm hands cup your cheeks when he pulls you in for a kiss. He cries. It’s exactly the kind of wedding you pictured with him. No mess. No fuss.

But you take full advantage of the reception. Everyone else is there and is happy to welcome you. You’re glad for it because you finally get some good quality pictures of you and Nathan together.

He indulges you in all the little wedding reception traditions. He feeds you a bite of cake, and maybe kisses you a little too dirty for that crowd, but you can’t be bothered to care.

The best surprise of the night is when he pulls you on the dancefloor. His arms wrapped tight around you as you sway together.

“Where do you want to go on our honeymoon?” he asks you. “Anywhere you want to go. Name it.”

“Anywhere there’s a bed,” you giggle. You lay your head on his shoulder and breathe deeply. This is where you’re meant to be.

Your dance ends when the DJ starts to play a funky disco song. And it’s all Nathan can do not to start dancing right away. You burst out laughing and let him go. He dances all around you while tears of laughter stream down your face. A little crowd has gathered around watching him and he doesn’t even see them, only you.

He takes a bow when that song ends, and you can’t remember the last time you’ve laughed that hard.

The moment turns when a very drunk Jack walks in.

“Oh no,” you grab Nathan’s arm. He pushes you behind him when Jack makes his way towards the two of you. His speech is slurred, and his hair is a mess.

“So, this is who you left me for?” he looks Nathan up and down. Nathan’s jaw is ticked in anger, but he doesn’t want to waste his time on him.

“You were cheating on me, anyway, why do you care?” you shake your head. You’re still so angry at him.

“So? Didn’t you say he was too?” he jabbed a finger onto Nathan’s chest. He brushed him off and breathed out his nose like an angry bull ready to charge.

“It was a mistake dude, and I regret it every fuckin’ day.”

“Did she tell you? She called me Nathan in bed? How I had to live with the reminder of you?”

“Oh, so cheating makes it better?” Nathan’s blood pressure was beginning to rise.

“Well, I needed to get pussy from somewhere, since she wasn’t putting out-“ Jack could barely finish his sentence before Nathan’s fist collided with his nose – breaking it.

Jack leaned back holding his bloody nose as Nathan grabbed him by his shirt collar.

“Don’t you ever insult my wife like that again.”

Jack wanted to swing back and attempted. But Nathan caught his fist, and punched Jack in the stomach. Shame more than anything else sent Jack on his way.

Nathan turned to you to apologize for making a scene, but you’ve never been so attracted to him as you have in this moment. Your new husband just defended your honor.

“Take me home,” you wrap your arms around him.

“You wanna join the-mile-high club? Or can we go fuck in your childhood bedroom since your house isn’t far from here? Do you have any posters of me on your wall?”

You shake your head with a laugh and playfully smack his arm. You pull away from him and greet a family member, and Nathan chases after you.

“That’s not an answer. Babe! Do you have one?”

“Would it make a difference if I said yes?” you grin turning back to him. You loop your hands around his neck, and he puts his hands on your hips.

“Fuck. Fuck, it would make a huge fuckin’ difference. Can we spend the honeymoon in your room?”

“So, you can look at a poster of yourself while you have sex with your new wife?” your smile gets bigger and bigger.

“Fuck. What picture is it?”

“Nathan!”

“Just kidding,” he smiles kissing your lips. “I booked us a nice hotel for our first night.”

“No posters in there,” you giggle.

“I’ll buy one,” he kisses you deeper. “Do you really have one of me in your room-“

He’ll find out soon enough, but you’re not going to tell him that you don’t just have one – but two.

 xx

  tagging: @pascal-isaac​​, @wasicskosgirl​​, @velvetmel0n​​, @huliabitch​​, @shadow-assassin-blix​​, @writefightandflightclub​​, @aellynera​​, @softboywriting​​, @veuliee2​​, @spider-starry​​, @mylifeliterally​​, @millllenniawrites​​, @ntlmundy​​, @foxilayde, @writingletterstothefire​​, @mandoplease​​, @anetteaneta​​, @feelmyroarrrr​​, @artsymaddie​​, @shakespeareanwannabe​​, @poedameronsbeard​​, @deanfanatic67​​​, @magicsuperheroes​​​, @phoenixhalliwell​​​, @that-one-weird-one​​​, @mariesackler, @yourbucky084​​​, @woakiees​

[karaokesoul32]

I know I don’t have a huge amount of followers, especially in the DA Fandom, but I thought you might like to know a little bit about me if you have started following me recently - this won’t be news to those “old guard” who know me from my SG1 days of course (luv ya Chelle & the others xoxo) 

I’m quite old, married a loooong time now and a mum of one and granny to a five year old Angel/Princess who I don’t actually post pictures of on here.

I called myself a middle-aged rock chick for years, I LOVE music - rock, britpop and really great singer-songrwriters. I used to gig a LOT in my forties and am proud of the fact I have done the “proper camping” bit at a few Festivals, and “moshed” at Muse a couple of times - nearly killed me in the process but I did it!.

I got into internet fandoms first with music forums (brutal & vicious) then found Sci-Fi, in particular the Stargate SG1 fandom and I mean REALLY got into it, going to Conventions, visiting Vancouver and the set where it was filmed, meeting & getting to know some of the actors and travelling all over North America, Europe and the UK indulging my “hobby”. I also found my first m/m pairing through the, at that time, MASSIVE Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson slash fiction sites and I was hooked - still am.

I LOVE travel, and have travelled extensively in Canada, the US and Europe. I’m married to a half-Belgian and consider myself a European Brit..I LOVE Europe but also my own English roots and heritage and think that my county, Kent - Garden of England, where I have lived since I was 2 years old - the most beautiful place on earth..sometimes.

I also love to cook and eat out. although probably indulged too much, which resulted in a BIG health scare 3 months ago, which I’ve just about recovered from, losing both my gallbladder & over 2 stone in weight and getting a lot of my health conditions (Diabetes & Blood Pressure) FINALLY under control. I still eat out and “fine dine” but not quite as much as I used to.  

I fell into the DA Fandom by watching the film first - I avoided the series for many years, because I’m a butterfly with the attention span of a gnat and don’t do long-running series really well - hence my other “historical” fannish choice “Versailles” (gay love story, sense a pattern here) which ran only 3 series of short episodes. But once Mr Max Brown and Mr Richard Ellis, 2nd Valet to His Majesty entered the scene, smiled at the gorgeous Mr Thomas Barrow (and me) on the screen I was hooked. Within days I had started a re-run of DA from Ep.1 to the end and started rooting through AO3 to find my “fix”.

Which I did, am still doing, and will be doing (along with Jack and Daniel, Monsieur & Chevalier de Lorraine) till I’m old and grey & in my dotage. Well I’m grey now, but all that’s hidden under bright Violet Purple Hair - did I mention I surround myself with Purple.

So as the title of this blog says - Eat, Geek, Travel, Repeat. 

It’s What I Do. 

Discodiva (Deeds), Karaokesoul, Carol (to those that now know me in RL) xoxo

[sunsetcurveofficial]

jatp fics by yours truly

[so, since i’ve written quite a few jatp fics in my time now, i decided that it’s time for a little masterpost before i post something new. sorted the way they appear in my ao3 stats.]

Force of Nature [Luke/Reggie, 49k, T, famous!AU]

Luke meets Reggie in a toilet stall at an award show when he's just trying to hide from everyone. He's the frontman of famous pop punk band Sunset Curve, and Reggie is an international country star. Something shifts in his life when he asks Reggie to sneak out of the award show together to attend an underground punk rock gig instead. Luke doesn't believe in love at first sight, but Reggie sure as hell makes him question everything he's ever believed in before.

A Change of Scenery [Luke/Reggie, 32k, M, camping AU]

“Oh! Apparently, there are 36 questions that are designed to make anyone fall in love with anyone,” Reggie says, eyes wandering over the page. “That sounds easy.” Luke peers at the article and snorts. “Yeah, right. You mean to tell me that if I do these with Bobby’s dad, I will fall in love with him? Sounds likely.” Reggie shrugs, a grin tugging at his lips when he meets Luke’s eyes. “We could try it. Scared to actually fall in love with me, Patterson?”

or, Luke takes Reggie on a camping trip to the woods in an attempt to cure his writer's block and gets a little more than he bargained for.

Not That Straight [Luke/Reggie, 4.8k, T, post canon]

“Am I the only straight person in this group?” Three heads immediately turned towards Reggie, and three pairs of eyebrows were raised at him at the same time. Alright. They didn’t have to make it quite so obvious that he was the odd one out, right? “You sure, Reg?” Alex asked with a fair amount of disbelief in his voice. Luke snorted. “I’ve seen the way you look at me, bro. You aren’t that straight.”

Keep Dreaming Like We'll Live Forever [Luke/Reggie, 10k, T, post canon]

A few weeks before the Orpheum, Luke wrote a list of things he wanted to do before he turned 20. Obviously he never got that far, but the list is still there, crammed into his notebook. Death didn’t make him quite as dead as he expected, though, so maybe there is still a chance to do all the things he missed out on when he was alive.

(Part 1 of the Bucket List series)

One Life, No Regrets [Luke/Reggie, 12k, T, post canon]

After crossing almost everything off his bucket list of things he wanted to do before he turned 20, Luke tackles the second list he wrote a few weeks before the Orpheum: Things he originally wanted to do before he turned 30. Life after death still has more in store for him than he ever expected, including some valuable lessons about love and happiness, and about pain and heartache.

(Part 2 of the Bucket List series)

Sometimes Two Is Better Than One [Alex/Reggie/Luke, 2.1k, poly soulmates AU]

It’s weird, this soulmates thing. Alex has always thought so. People are born with random sentences scribbled onto their skin, and they’re supposed to be the first words their soulmate ever says to them. Generally speaking, he does think that the soulmarks make sense, too. For most people. His, however, has never made any sense at all.

Because his soulmark says "Hi, I’m Reggie. Reggie says you’re killing it on the drums, man."

Alex And His Rose Bush Boys [Alex/Reggie/Luke, 6.6k, poly pre-canon AU]

Five times Alex has to watch his two drunk and supposedly straight best friends make out with each other, and one time he finally gets to join.

Or, Luke and Reggie are completely oblivious and Alex has a lot of feelings.

Two Can Play This Game [Luke/Reggie, 5.9k, pre-canon AU]

Luke Patterson is a menace. He’s stubborn and persistent, and when he wants something, he stops at nothing to get it. And that includes flirting with Reggie to make him go to a punk rock gig in downtown LA with him. Luke is so sure he's going to win, but two can play his game. Reggie won’t just let him have it, and he will most certainly not go down without a fight.

For the prompt: “Stop flirting with me, I’m not going to fall for it.”

In Heaven I Can Skate [Alex/Willie, Luke/Reggie, 3k, post-canon AU]

The boys get drunk on liquor that Willie smuggled out of Caleb's cursed club, and Alex decides that it's the perfect time for Willie to teach him how to skateboard.

Meanwhile, Reggie feels a little impulsive.

Booksmart [Luke/Reggie, 1.5k, post-canon AU]

“This says that one in four people are gay,” Reggie reads out loud. “That means at least one person in this band is gay. I hope it’s Luke. Because Luke is cute.” Alex looks like he's about to have an aneurysm. “Dude. I’m literally right here. I’m the gay one.” Julie giggles. “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but I have a feeling he’s not the only one who’s a little gay in this band.”

Better Think With Your Mouth [Luke/Reggie, 2.3k, pre-canon AU]

“You kissed me!” Reggie shrieks, spluttering as he drops the guitar pick he’s been holding onto for the entirety of his rant. Luke merely chuckles and goes right back to strumming idly on his acoustic guitar. “Luke!” Reggie tries again, staring at his friend like he’s lost his mind. Luke must have lost his mind, right?

or, Reggie keeps going on extensive rants, and Luke starts kissing him to shut him up.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang [Luke/Reggie, 2.2k, post-canon AU]

It's New Year's Eve and Reggie just wants a kiss.

Bed Head [Luke/Reggie, 2.3k, pre-canon AU]

Here’s the thing. Reggie loves Luke’s messy hair. He would never admit it, of course, but the messier Luke’s hair, the more he enjoys watching him.

For the prompt: "Your bed head is really cute."

Post-it Notes [Luke/Reggie, 1.3k, pre-canon AU]

Reggie cleans Luke's room and leaves small notes on his things that make them both rethink just how platonic their feelings for each other really are.

For the prompt: “Don’t be sorry… it was kind of cute, actually.”

Loving Luke Patterson [Julie/Luke, Luke/Reggie, 7.2k, post-canon AU]

Julie and Reggie talk one afternoon and end up realising they're both in love with Luke. So, naturally, they become best friends. And Luke? Well, falling in love with people is just what Luke Patterson does, apparently.

Every Storm That Comes [Luke/Reggie, 5k, post-canon AU]

"Luke wants to be with Julie, because she’s awesome. Because she’s more than good enough. It doesn’t even matter that he’s a ghost and Julie isn’t. He wants to be with her anyway. He’d never want to be with someone like Reggie."

Or, Reggie has some mental health issues to work through, and his feelings for Luke don't really help. He learns that there is so much more love in his life than he ever realised, though, and that every storm has a tendency to come to an end eventually.

Through The Ages [Luke/Reggie, 4.2k, post-canon AU]

“So Luke, huh?” Alex asks, a small smile pulling at his lips. Reggie just grunts in agreement. “You know, I couldn’t stop him from confronting Julie about the song, but it‘s only a matter of minutes until she tells him that she didn’t write it.” “It doesn’t matter now,” Reggie says quietly. “He didn’t even stop to consider that it’s mine. He just thinks I’m a loser who writes bad country songs.”

or, After a few failed attempts at telling Luke how he feels about him, Reggie decides to write Luke a song instead. He sneaks it into Luke's journal, excitedly waiting for his best friend to find it. But when Luke finally does, he assumes Julie wrote it.

[theotherace]

Fic Recs: Taang

I’ve made two or three rec lists over the past few months, but I thought I’d make a proper, comprehensive one that’s easy to add to in the future. Not all of these are exclusively Taang, but they all feature the ship to some degree. I will only recommend one or two stories per author, but some profiles are definitely worth checking out further. So! Here goes.

Multi-Chapter, Complete

Whisper Into the Sky by damagectrl – Toph has two choices: Go home and get married or have the family fortune and her inheritance given to a stranger. Her problem: She wants to keep her ties to her family, but is quite content traveling with Aang. Her solution: Fight her way through suitors for her freedom. Literally. | General 

The Slow Path by Tazmainian Devil – Eight years after the fall of Ozai, Aang returns to the friends he left behind. | T

A Matter of Honor by Adridere – Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. | M

Roommates by breeeliss – An unlikely tale of two unlikely people being forced to live together under unlikely circumstances.| Modern AU | T

Fall of the White Lotus by Boo-82 – Three years after the war Zuko is living a life of duty while Katara reluctantly travels the world with Aang. So, when General Iroh orders them to find Zuko’s mother and save his Order they seize the opportunity with both hands. It’s the beginning of an adventurous journey of discovery, but as time runs out a rising threat puts their bond to the test. | T

Half Asleep by The Crushinator – Five years after the Hundred-Year War, Fire Lord Zuko is hit with an assassin’s dart, and falls into a coma from which he cannot wake. A week passes, and his prognosis is grim. But Katara could swear she hears him in her dreams… | T

Yaaburnee by aviatordame – Avatars aren't meant to belong – that's as much as Aang can fathom. | M

Getting Lucky by roca-dos – Crazy things happen in college every day. | Modern AU | T 

All Fall Down by DJNS  – Aang copes with a tragic loss and finds renewed hope in an unexpected place. | M | Warning for Major Character Death

The Princess & the Badger-Cat by panaili – In a land never torn apart by the Hundred Year War, the sixteen-year-old Avatar Aang is trying his best to keep the balance between the four nations, including the increasingly antagonistic Fire Nation, which, despite his friendship with the Crown Prince Zuko, refuses to acknowledge him. Elsewhere, Sokka and Katara have been separated on their quest to find their missing father, and Sokka, pursued by the same bandits who kidnapped his sister, finds himself on the balcony of some rich girl’s house in Gaoling. Oh, and a sorcerer has turned him into a badger-cat. It’s just one of those days. | Teen and Up

Reborn by Jakia – Life. Death. Rebirth. This is the cycle that all spirits must abide to, even the Avatar. Aang and Toph face death and the reincarnation cycle. | T

New Girl by tiffaniesblews – After coming home early from a business trip, all Katara wanted to do was surprise her boyfriend, Jet. Imagine her surprise when she got home and Jet was in bed with another woman. Not wanting to live with her ex, and unable to live with her best friend, Suki, Katara takes her brother Sokka's offer to move into his loft with his two roommates. Aang is perky and sweet, the owner of a st. Bernard and a cat, who's often confused about his direction in life. Zuko, on the other hand, is a closed-off bartender, who takes some time opening up to others.The four could not be more different, and yet? They work out perfectly. Even if Katara's feelings for Zuko get a bit more complicated as time goes on. | Modern AU | Mature 

The Ties That Bind series by LdyKirin – An exploration of the ties that bind for good and ill. Toph and Zuko are both shaped by the family they were born to and the family they choose. Lots of found family feels. | T

What Happens In Kyoshi by BlackVelvetBand – Prince Zuko, and the GAang take a vacation on Kyoshi Island. Flirting, fighting, and embarrasment ensue as Sokka takes it upon himself to defend Katara's virtue...in a dress? A short,chaptered fic featuring Zutara, Sokki, and Taang. | T

Under the Night Sky by mycomfortblanket – Aang hears the chattering of teeth during a cold night. Was an AU that I found on tumblr that I made fit into this story. Orginal prompt: "We have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we are complete strangers | General

On The Precipice by JoyDragon – They’re just best friends. Or maybe they’re teetering on the edge of being something more. | General

Oneshots, Complete

Air and Stone by Wolvenfire86 – A few Taang stories munched together. My first submissions. I hope everyone likes them. Please review, it makes me feel special. | K+

Taang Week 2020 series by teabagginses | Teen and Up & Mature

Our Little Secret by IrisPlumeria – Toph and Aang, sat next to one another dressed in their finest under paper lanterns and surrounded by copious amounts of food and friends, cringed at the disgusting noises coming out of Sokka’s nostrils as he blew his nose into Suki’s handkerchief. “I can’t believe two of my best friends are finally married!” Sokka sobbed, earning a supportive pat on the back from Suki, who didn’t flinch at the snot coming out of his nose. “I’m so happy for you guys!” Toph and Aang's family are happy for their nuptials, but will they be able to survive their wedding party without letting slip a big secret?Written for Taang Week 2020 - Tradition. | General 

All Roads Lead To Ba Sing Se by irisbleufic – "I was thinking," [Mai] said, tucking her last remaining dagger into her belt as she strode to meet him, "that it's about time I let Fire Lord Zuko know that I quit." When Kuei smiled at her, she could see the sunshine at which she once cringed."Notice that's six years overdue is better than none at all." "Indeed," said the Earth Queen, and grinned at him. | Teen And Up

Lady Fu’s Fortune Telling by Lady Cleo – Katara and Toph visit the local fortuneteller to get their fortunes told. Added a part two with Zuko and Aang. | T

The Perfect Companion by Morna – Aang seeks comfort outside of the arms of his wife, Katara. Taang, slightly lemony. | T

Box by JoeMerl – Written for Taang Week, one-shot. Toph ticks off Bumi, but Aang is willing to fight his old friend tooth and nail to get her out of trouble. Humor, light romance. | K+

2 am by shmulia – Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara's shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. | Modern AU | K

And its sequel, 11:45 – House parties aren't Katara's thing. Sokka's drunk, Suki's on a mission to set her up, and Toph is... well, Toph. But for every cloud there's a silver lining, and for Katara it comes in the form of a second chance with her neighbour... | Modern AU | T 

Treat by PsychEmpress – She felt the corners of her own lips quirk as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Consider this my treat,” he said and Toph allowed a smile to break out. OR In which Toph is a stressed architecture student who gets a free cup of coffee from the handsome waiter after she helps his friend. Taang. Mentions of Sukka. | Modern AU | T

Sawaru by metacognitive – This love is simple. Non-Korra compliant. | K+

Newlyweds (and basically everything else) by PandaCookie – Everyone’s a bit hopeless right after they’ve been married. | K+

Rhythms by xcgirl08– For now, though, her child’s heartbeat was hers to contemplate. | K 

Tenderness by Adridere – He wanted to keep her, even though he was not supposed to. He promised her freedom, and she promised him sanity in his own household. She kept her part of the bargain, but he found a way not to keep his. | M

Holy Matrimony by Loopy – After their marriage, Zuko and Katara deal with conflicting religious beliefs, and look to the friends for advice. Between the Zutara and the religious satire, every single person who reads this should feel offended. | General

Blind Maiden’s Grace by Adara_Rose – You can learn a lot of things from a flower… | Not Rated (I’d say General) 

Etched in the Earth by Dance_Elle_Dance – She knows the feel of Aang’s footprints better than her own, and that reality scares her. | Teen and Up

No One Asks About The Scars by voleuse – Write about how you learned to curse in order not to be cursed. | General

When in Rome by dtmars – She wasn’t stupid. She knew what she was doing and what she was getting herself into. They both did. | Modern AU. | Explicit

Like Real People Do by DerAndere – The moon is full and bright when he falls out of bed, awake, asleep, inside a dream, and starts walking, driven by the feeling he does not understand, tugging on him relentlessly, and he is Aang, and he is not, and the world is cold. | General | Full Disclosure: This is my story.

Meet Me Under The Table by avatarfan16 – A story of how Toph and Aang find love, in the most unusual of places. TAANG | K+

Aftermath by Zaram'delar – In any celebration, there's always one or two people with a habit of disappearing. Taang drabbleish series. | T

I Choose Dare by for_darkness_shows_the_stars – An ode to how Aang, under the power of a mighty temptress, was forced to grow a beard. Oh, and the birth of his first child, too, he supposes. | General Audiences

Multi-Chapter, In Progress

Heartbeat by AngelicBee – Avatar Aang's soulmate probably died 100 years before, but he can't help but feel she's closer than he thinks. | Teen and Up

a mighty ocean (or a gentle kiss) by poweradequeen – no, the title doesn’t make sense but i don’t care. i couldn’t think of one so now you’re stuck with a cheesy line from two by sleeping at last.it’s a taang fine arts university au. because i said so. | Teen and Up

Neither is Love a Cage by cali-chan – Love is the freedom of flying accompanied. It is letting be without possessing. PG-13 (possibly M later on), drama/romance/angst, Zuko/Katara + Aang/Toph, post-finale but diverges before LoK canon.

Operation: Zutara (REVAMPED) by dtmars – Everyone could see that those two were in love with each other. Everyone except for them. So Toph takes the initiative and fills in for Cupid to give them a little push, while Aang just tags along for the ride. | Teen and Up

Taang One Shots by stitch1830 – A collection of short stories about Toph and Aang that I've had saved in my notes for a few months. Stories are in the ATLA/LOK universe (not canon compliant), and typically revolve around their relationship and family. | Teen and Up

[yuzukult]

effortlessly pt. 5 (m) || jungkook & reader

title: effortlessly pairing: jungkook x reader genre: fluff, romance, school!au, smut (watch out bitches!! jk i tried) words: ~4.2k (... after i edit it multiple times lol) note: this fic is turning out longer than intended.......... yep oh well warnings: this chapter contains smut.

series: part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || part nine || part ten || epilogue 

It’s a series of letters.

As I sit alone along the shoreline of the beach here in the States, the only sounds are the waves crashing on the rocks that sit by the water; it’s a reminder of how isolated I am. Out of all the people I could be thinking of, you’re still occupying my mind. Maybe it’s how supportive of a friend you are or possibly just how effortlessly convivial you can be amongst a group of people, regardless of the familiarity but I long for that comforting feeling you bestow on those lucky enough to receive. 

--

I met a girl today.

She’s sweet, and also Korean. Communication can be rough here, and if I’m being completely honest, I thought that these emotions I had harbored for you were just something I kept out of the loneliness. But meeting this girl was almost solidifying what I felt for you, and how much I regret coming here, away from it all. Dreams are dreams, they’re aspirations that you hoped to aim for, but as humans, we are selfish, desiring for more. I wanted more. I wanted you.

--

Reminiscing to the time we first met, I thought of you as just Jungkook’s little friend who stuck by his side like glue. Someone who followed him around because she crushed on him and he didn’t reciprocate. Boy, I was wrong. I never realized how much Jungkook enjoyed your support, wanting you to be there, how motivating it was for you to cheer in the sidelines until I was one of the people you were encouraging. 

I never felt so driven to my goals in my entire life. It’s probably how I’ve gotten so far. At this rate, Jungkook is going to be an olympian because of you.

Alarmed by Jungkook’s presence, you jolt in your seat on the bleachers, holding the letter against your chest. “Fuck, you scared me.”

He’s drying his soaked hair with a towel, shirtless with only his swim trunks on, eyeing you prudently. You had been reading the letters that Taehyung had left in the envelope, all written on thin pieces of parchment paper as if he didn’t own any actual stationary. They’d been so flimsy yet folded in such a way that when it had fallen out previously, it almost seemed like just one sheet of paper. 

“What did those letters say?”

“Uh, nothing worthwhile.” You respond abruptly. 

Jungkook pauses in the midst of his actions, bewilderment written on his face. “Are you alright? You... are acting a bit suspicious.”

Ambiguously, you hunch over, slipping everything back into the bag. Jungkook and your relationship was fresh, so fresh that it had only been a couple days of being together and you were already hit with an obstacle. Do you tell Jungkook things Taehyung said? Do you let him read the letters? They felt personal, something between just the two of you, but Jungkook was your boyfriend now.

“Let’s... talk about this later,” You conclude, ascending from the seat while grabbing your personal items. “Will you be ready soon? I kind of want to go right now.” Taking your wrist, his hand warmly tightens in the grip but loosens up promptly. “Hey, are you alright? You seem a bit off.”

From behind Jungkook, you detect Taehyung walking in your direction with Hoseok by his side, exchanging laughter during their route. His eyes meet yours for a moment before you quickly avert your attention, fixating it back on Jungkook as your cheeks flush pink. “I just want to go home. Can we go home?”

He nods, unzipping his duffel bag and pulls out a T-shirt. “We can go. I need to go change my pants in the bathroom—“

Taehyung and Hoseok are getting closer.

“OK— let’s go,” Snatching his bag, you tug on his arm and rush to the locker room, Jungkook trailing behind with his shirt barely on. “Oh— what—“

Finally reaching the changing room, you look around for any potential athletes. Sighing after realizing everyone has left, you rummage through his belongings for his shorts. “Don’t be mad if I tell you this.”

“Why would I ever be mad at you?”

Your eyes look through your curled lashes, Jungkook watches your expression with a tightened heart. Jesus, even when you’ve got him so anxious that he feels like he’s sitting at the edge of his seat, he can’t help but think how pretty you look.

“I think Taehyung was trying to confess to me.”

Immediately, his face washes over with anger. “What? Taehyung tried to confess to you? Is that what those letters were about?” Nodding in response, you fist the hem of your shirt restlessly. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to view his role model in a different light. “Well, they were just letters he wrote with how he felt about me while away. I’m not sure how to react. I’m sure it’s nothing serious though—”

“You don’t, that’s what you do. Why would you do anything? Other than reject him, you tell him you have a boyfriend now and that what he’s doing is wrong.”

“But he’s a friend, Jeon.”

“A friend who just told you he likes you despite the fact that he knows you’re dating someone.”

“He didn’t know before that.”

Thwarted, he leans over and pulls the waistband of his shorts down, exposing more of his skin than intended. He’s too annoyed and frustrated to even care that his swim trunks are down to his ankles, completely revealing himself in his all naked glory before taking his shorts out of your hands. Blood rushes into your cheeks at the sight, turning your head away. 

“Why do you keep defending him? Do you still like him?”

Your face snaps back to his direction, forgetting about his current state before reversing your head away again. “Of course not, why would you ask that?”

“Because you’re acting awfully uncomfortable with him around and defending him like you have something to hide.”

���Jeon, I don’t. You know that I like you.”

“If I’m being honest,” He’s in the midst of dressing himself as he speaks before running his fingers through his hair. “We’ve only been dating a couple days and before that, I assumed you still had a crush on Taehyung.”

Standing up, you scowl at his response. “That was just an observation you had, not the truth. Jeon, are you jealous?” You find yourself drawing closer to Jungkook, arms draping over his shoulders before caressing the nape of his neck gingerly. He exhales out a deep breath, giving into your touch and resting his hands on your waist, lids falling shut. “A bit, yeah. How could I not? You used to tell me all these things about him— how kind and sweet he is, how he gives you snacks during our practices, how he does these little things for you that shows he cares... how am I supposed to compete with that?”

“You don’t,” You reiterate his words from earlier. “You don’t try to compete, you don’t think about him or what he has done. You’re just you, that’s more than enough for me.”

“Okay, okay. I know. It’s just... I’ve always looked up to Taehyung, and you know this. He has everything I could only dream of having, including you—”

“Jungkook, he doesn’t have me. You have me.”

His eyes soften. After being friends with you for so long, he couldn’t believe that he’d been lucky enough to have you in his arms. His anger diminishes from the tone of your assuring words as he presses his forehead against yours. It had been a haunting thought in his mind throughout the decade, how you could ever possibly be his. And with you in his embrace now, he’s not sure if he deserves having you here or how to keep you.

“Okay, I... alright. Maybe you can have a civil conversation with him about this and let him down easy.” He suggests, lifting his solemn gaze to meet with yours. Jungkook felt uneasy at the idea of you being alone with Taehyung, but he’d come to understand that it was the right thing to do. “I just don’t want to be dropped because Hyung suddenly realizes what he’s missing.”

“Well,” You shrug nonchalantly as you continue. “He’s super late. You’ve always had me, it just... took awhile for me to realize it too. Thankfully, I wasn’t late.”

“You would’ve never been late,” Jungkook admits, feeling as though all the pieces have fallen into place after hearing your confession on that very night. To him, it was the start of something new, despite always having been by your side. You were finally his. “I couldn’t even notice any other girls, look how many had confessed to me yet I was so blinded by you!”

Clicking your tongue, you slap his chest in unison with a light laugh. “Oh, shut up. Guess it’s my turn to let someone down.”

A week later is when you’re confident enough to confront Taehyung.

“You wanted to talk?” Taehyung asks, approaching you on the sidelines of the football field that’s occupied by the players during their daily practice. The sound of the coach’s whistle rings in your ears, interrupting your thoughts as well as Taehyung’s voice. You wanted to talk to him alone, not entirely alone, but enough to not cause any discomfort.

“Yeah,” You say softly, the bag of gifts and letters in one of your hands. “This... thank you, Taehyung, for this. But I can’t accept your gift if it means I have to accept your feelings.”

His expression is sullen. “I’m not asking you to accept them, I just wanted to let you know that they exist, and that they always have.” Taehyung lets out a sigh, glancing over at the field. “Keep the gifts, they were things I bought because I thought of you when I laid my eyes on it.” Arms dropping along with your body, you plop onto the bench. “Why did you decide to tell me now?”

“I’ve wanted to tell you since the moment I realized it when I was in the States. I was waiting for my next trip here to finally let you know,” He declares, sitting beside you. “Didn’t think Jungkook had the balls to actually confess to you. It was about time.”

“I was the one who confessed.”

Taehyung turns to you with widened eyes, startled. “Really? You’re the one who confessed? Turns out Jungkook really doesn’t have the balls.”

You frown. “Don’t say that, I did it discreetly and he overheard. He didn’t think I felt anything back for him.”

“Regardless, I can’t believe he actually made a move. He’s been crushing on you forever. What friend talks about his best friend that frequently without having feelings for her? He even had me falling for you with how he describes you.”

“You fell for me?” Appalled, you turn to meet his gaze. “You’re in love with me? I thought you just... liked me.”

“Are you kidding?” He exasperates, shaking his head in disbelief. “Look at yourself, you’re gorgeous. Understanding of others, kind, selfless— who wouldn’t fall for you? Your only flaw is how oblivious you are to these things. You know how you thought Jungkook was an idiot when it came to girls having feelings for him? You’re the same way but with men! Hoseok even liked you for a bit before realizing that Jungkook had already been smitten by you.”

“What?” Was the only word you managed to choke out, astonished by all the information being thrown at you at once. “Did Jungkook never tell you? Hoseok said he liked you but Jungkook mentioned something about loving you for so long... but don’t get me wrong, Kook would never tell his friend not to go for it.”

“Then what?”

“Hoseok... waited. Wanted to see how legitimate Jungkook’s feelings were for you. Figured out that Jungkook couldn’t even get himself a girlfriend because he was so caught up with you so Hoseok gave up so Kook could... chase.”

“And you?” You’ve got your bottom lip between your teeth, biting anxiously that it would be swollen by the time you let it go. “What about you?”

He chuckles at your reaction, pushing his hair back, away from his face. “Probably around the same time as Hoseok, I got caught too. Difference is that I knew Jungkook liked you, just wasn’t sure if it was worth ruining a friendship for.” Taehyung shakes his leg apprehensively, eyes warding from you and focused on the players running amuck. “It wasn’t. Jungkook looked up to me, despite the fact that we are friends. He wanted to be me— with this scholarship and opportunity overseas. But I hope he realizes what he’s giving up if he gains all of that.”

You raise a brow questioningly. “And what’s that?”

“What I said in the letter,” His stare trails down the field as the members of the school’s football team begin another set of drills, yelling and hollering at each other. “You’re away from the people you love. You’re away from the girl you’re in love with. Your friends aren’t near anymore, not a phone call away. You start to miss your mom nagging your ear off and the way your dad chews his food so obnoxiously.”

“Is... that how you feel?” Pulling your legs to your chest, you rest your chin on knees, lips pressed into a straight line. “Are you lonely over there, Tae?”

“All the time,” He confesses, gathering enough courage to finally turn and watch you. “I miss everything about here, that’s why I grabbed the first flight I could to come back. I missed my friends, I missed my family. It wasn’t the same without Jungkook’s personal cheerleader sitting in the crowd, hollering out everyone’s name. You were just as a motivation to me as to him.”

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m with Jungkook now.”

“I’m not asking you to date me,” He concedes, and your brows fall inwardly in complexity. “I just want your support. I don’t have that over there. It’s like I’m chasing this dream but there’s nobody to share the success with. What’s a dream when you don’t have the people you love around you to share it with?”

Unconsciously, the conversation between you and Taehyung flooded your thoughts throughout the rest of the day.

It had become a personal concern, something that disregarded Taehyung’s feelings for you and your relationship with Jungkook.

What did this mean for you, someone who was close to graduating high school? Would you go to University? And even if you did, what would your field of expertise be? Your major? What were you even good at? It had become clear that the length of time spent at Jungkook’s games were for supporting him, yet he couldn’t come to anything of yours because well... you didn’t have a passion.

“You’re awfully quiet.”

“Huh?” Your train of thoughts are interrupted by Jungkook who glances over at you while driving in his signature beat up car with the windows down and the breeze running through his chocolate brown locks. He looks angelic like this— in his happy place (which is his car), on the way home from school after waiting for you in the parking lot after talking to Taehyung.

“You’ve been silent for the whole time. Since you came into the car and the entire ride. Something Taehyung said?”

“Possibly,” You’re short, but you don’t mean to be. “Where are we going?” Jungkook makes an unfamiliar turn, changing his route away from the direction of home.

“Somewhere special so we can talk.”

Momentarily, you reach somewhere in the suburbs with mostly trees and grasslands. You’re parking under an overpass, it seems, but out of use. There aren’t many cars nearby, but the view of the sunset is clear and the air is clean and crisp as you inhale the freshness of nature deeply with your eyes closed, embracing the feeling. Jungkook twists his keys as the engine stops it’s ruckus noise, and the car comes to a halt as his body is now facing you in his seat. “Talk to me.”

“Jeon, it’s nothing.”

“Just because I’m your boyfriend now doesn’t make me less of your friend than before. It just means I’m more.”

You roll your eyes. But regardless, he’s right. You’re insecure about your career path, your choices and what you’ll do in the future, but sitting beside a guy who seems to know everything he wants is intimidating. Especially when he’s someone you want to be deserving of.

“I...” Hesitant, you know that it’s something you have to do anyway. Jungkook has been with you— thick and thin— so what makes this time different from the rest? “Taehyung kept talking about his dream. How, although he’s over there chasing this aspiration, it doesn’t feel fulfilling because he’s not around the people he loves to share it with.”

Jungkook scoffs before letting you finish. “Sounds selfish—“

“No,” you interject. “That’s not where I was going with this.”

“Then where’s your head at, love?”

You pause. There’s a lot to uncover here, and if you’re completely unfiltered, Jungkook will realize how absolutely lost you are. Admitting you’re lost might make Jungkook’s feelings ambivalent, but nonetheless, you take in a deep breath of fortitude and continue. It was either now or never.

“I don’t have those aspirations. I don’t know what I’m going to do or what I’m going to be, and you’re here with the biggest dreams. You have so much motivation and will to get there— but what about me? I don’t have anything. I don’t have a passion, a hobby... nothing. What am I supposed to be? Jungkook’s cheerleader for life?”

He sighs at your words, leaning over to brush a strand of hair away from your face. His lips purse in thought for a moment, causing doubtful ideas popping into your head before he bursts the bubble by shattering the glass of quietude. “You are and will always be, Jungkook’s personal cheerleader. But that’s not your title and entirety, it’s just something you are because I love your support and beliefs in me. However, love, I don’t want you to think that’s all you are and all you’re made for.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well,” he begins, leaning back in his seat. “That’s for you to decide. I don’t want you to feel like all you are is my support team. You’re more than that, you’re capable of anything. Everyone is lost at our age, only some of us know what we truly want to do. And I’ll help you find your way— I’m also your personal cheerleader.”

“Isn’t it tiring?”

“What’s tiring?”

“Trying to be a personal cheerleader of someone who doesn’t have anything to cheer for.”

Jungkook takes a moment to organize his thoughts, peeling off a bit of the leather on his steering wheel. “No. Everything I do for you feels effortless. Everything I feel for you is effortless. I don’t have to try in order to want to do things for you, and I don’t have to try to love you. I just do, it comes naturally. But... I also don’t want you to feel this way, and I want to help you find what makes you happy.”

Just listening to the way he speaks about you and the expression on his face is full of worry warms your heart. You feel stupid— how could you have waited that long to tell Jungkook your feelings for him, and thinking about other guys when you had one right in your face all along?

In the spur of the moment, you’re not sure where you get all this assertiveness from, but you cup his cheeks, pulling him into a kiss. It’s heated— the way his tongue fights its way into your mouth, slipping between your lips as you climb over the center console to straddle his hips while he pulls his seat back for more space. His hands barely hover your waist, so innocently and gentlemen-like, and you take notice of this, placing your own on top of his then guiding him to wrap it around your frame as he complies. Pressing your hips down against his, he lets out a groan from both your boldness and the feeling of your weight against his jeans.

This was different compared to the first time— back then, you knew you wanted Jungkook, but you weren’t sure how to show it. You held back, both from inexperience and uncertainty that he’d find out about your love for him, but this time, he knew, and he reciprocated those emotions back.

Your fingertips played with the fabric of his shirt on his shoulders as his own traveled their way up the hem of your skirt, rubbing the skin of your thigh that it made you shiver. Pulling away from his lips, your foreheads pressed against each other, watching with hooded eyes and heavy uneven breaths. 

“Well,” He says between breaths. “This isn’t like the first time.”

“No, it’s the second. We’re more experienced now. And stop counting, it’s weird.” With that, you push yourself down against his crotch, earning another moan emitting between his swollen pink and plump lips, his hands accompanying your hips to maneuver and gain more friction. You watch his euphoric expression as his head drops back onto the seat, lips agape and brows furrowed, focusing on the movements. His neck exposed, you can’t help but attach your mouth on the skin, so soft and smooth, licking and tugging it between your teeth before he pushes you away slightly, your brows crinkling in confusion.

“Something wrong?”

“I might actually cum in my pants if we keep doing it like this.”

Seconds later, his pants were hung low just enough to free his cock. The tip is leaking with pre-cum, and he’s pulsing against his stomach from the brief humping session. He has a hand wrapped around his cock, smearing his arousal and giving himself a couple pumps. You weren’t going to lie—but seeing him unraveled like this beneath your grasp sparked confidence in your blood, wanting more. “Should I take off my panties?”

“No,” He responds, fingers toying with the fabric underneath your skirt. “We’re in public, if we get caught, at least we can have some dignity and get dressed quickly.” You roll your eyes at his response, but nonetheless, he tugs your underwear aside, sufficient enough for access. He keeps his eyes locked onto yours, hand trailing down to meet with your center, thumb swiping across your slit. Gently, he slips a finger in, waiting for the nod of approval from you before letting in another until you felt ready enough for him.

“Fuck— I forgot a condom.”

“Don’t... I’m on the pill. And... I trust you.” He twitches at your words, a husky grunt leaving his lips as he positions himself under you, watching your contorted expression while he lifts his hips upwards as yours does the opposite, head rolling back at the feeling of fullness. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Compared to the first time, you were so bare, so wet for him. He thought that losing your virginity to each other was when he felt close to you, but this was a whole other meaning to close.

Never in your life you would’ve thought you’d be dating your best friend, let alone fucking Jungkook in the driver seat of his beat up car. You also never saw yourself having enough courage to be riding him either, hands now on either side of his head, resting on the seat for more control and leverage as he angles his hips up to hit yours, the sudden new change of position causing a whimper to leave you.

“Deep?” He asks, his eyes barely open from the intense pleasure. You nod dumbly, loss for words, the car rocking and creaking underneath the rough thrusting. His fingers are digging into your ass, guiding your hips to move at a quicker pace, erupting noises from you that you never thought you’d make. You were filled with this new movement, unable to hold back any longer.

Suddenly, his hand slides down between where your bodies meet, pressing and rubbing against your clit that you feel the coil in your stomach tightening, letting out loud gasps and moans that are music to Jungkook’s ears, jerking up sharply into you messily. Head spinning relentlessly at the pleasure, you feel yourself hitting your peak, and Jungkook knows this from you clenching around his cock. “Close?”

“S-so close,” You whisper, too fucked out to even respond properly. Moments later, you’re coming, body shivering at the overwhelming amount of pleasure, long and hard with a hand clenching and nails digging into his shoulder. He gives you a second to regain yourself, riding out your climax before he snaps up into you sloppily, reaching his own high. In an instant, his crotch stills in you, body trembling underneath you as his cum paints your walls.

You drop your body tirelessly on his, panting from exhaustion as he grows limp inside you, arms wrapping around your waist. 

Although he was out of breath, chest heaving densely, he still managed to speak. “Did I make it up to you this time?” 

[freebooter4ever]

The final part of this fic series which no one asked for but i finished anyway lol - third section deals with fighting in the rain on Okinawa, coming home, and settling down together in a house.

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In the beginning of the campaign, Okinawa is a respite from the heat. After the easy landing, and the easier invasion, many of the guys start dropping their guard. It's too tempting to revel in the cool air, and ignore the minor discomfort (compared to battle) of hauling heavy packs along muddy roads. But every night in their foxholes they remember they're at war.

One night, when Eugene wakes Snafu up for his watch, he also leans in for a quick peck on the lips. Snafu thinks Eugene's finally lost it. He keeps one careful eye on Eugene and refuses to sleep for an entire day and a half after that. Yet during every switch of their watch, Eugene continues to kiss him. Like it's normal, like it should be expected. Snafu gives in. If it's just the two of them in their hole, he lets Eugene snuggle in close. Snafu starts sleeping better, and when he wakes Eugene for his own watch, Snafu starts kissing him too. There's never any urge for anything more, with the long heavy marches and the constant state of slight hunger, having any feelings beyond numbness is hard. But the little kisses are a reminder of good things. Snafu indulges in the comfort of them so much that the one time they share a foxhole with Burgie, Snafu completely fucking forgets himself. Earlier in the day they'd found a source of fresh water and Eugene washed his whole head, scrubbing the grime from his neck. His lips are bright and pink again, and when Snafu catches sight of them in the dim light of a flare as he goes to wake Eugene up for his watch, Snafu doesn't stop to think. "Sledgehammer," Snafu whispers in Eugene's ear. He pulls back just enough to make eye contact and ensure Eugene's awake. And then Snafu dips in for a kiss. Their helmets make the familiar soft 'thud' when they collide, and for a minute Eugene melts into Snafu, and kisses back. Then Eugene suddenly shoves Snafu away and glances over at the third person sharing the foxhole with them. Snafu glances at Burgie too, wide eyed, and scared, and wondering how this is going to go. Burgie doesn't even look shocked. "You guys think you're quiet but I kept having to leave the tent on Pavuvu almost hourly just to escape the noise from you both." "Shit," Eugene swears. "Stop watching me, watch the line, get your head on straight Sledgehammer," Burgie orders, "I'm not going to say anything to anyone. And the only reason I'd tell you to quit it with the kissing is if you end up in a hole with someone else less understanding. Understand?" "Sure thing, Burgie," Snafu says with a wash of relief. Burgie becomes their automatic third whenever the company is divided into groups, and Snafu stops trying to hide his affection for Eugene during that time. Eugene is a little more reserved. Snafu is the one who needs constant physical contact whenever he can get it. Something as simple as gripping Eugene's hand while they are waiting behind a rock for their march to get moving again is a lifeline. But living on top of each other also means lashing out when the real battles get too much to handle. Once the rain starts, and almost washes them away alongside the mud, the lazy sunny days of marching seem like fond memories. Snafu is cold and wet and his body won't stop shivering with it. Long after Snafu gives up, Eugene continues to try and dig their private little foxhole like the stubborn asshole he is. "Don't even bother," Snafu trills at Gene from underneath the tarp where he's huddled with Burgin and Hamm, "Nobody wants to squat in a cold stinky bowl of muddy water tonight." "We need a foxhole," Eugene demands angirly. Snafu sighs. They're not at the very front line, there's no compelling reason for Gene to be this insistent. Snafu knows what Eugene really wants - without a foxhole, without somewhere to hide, the two of them won't be able to share each other's warmth. Plus out of all of them, Eugene is the least likely to ever break protocol. He goes by the book, he swears by it to stay alive, and his foxhole is always an exact depth and five feet from everybody else no matter what. Usually Snafu admires this about Gene. Tonight it's driving him nuts. "Sit down, Gene!" he orders. "Not until I can sit in a damn hole!" Eugene yells back. They shout at each other for longer than Snafu feels comfortable with. If Eugene were to decide that Snafu isn't worth putting up with anymore, Snafu isn't sure he would survive. "Fuck you Eugene," Snafu whines

halfheartedly as the yelling slowly peeters out. "Fuck you too, Shelton ," Eugene spits and throws down his entrenching tool. His anger is slower to fizzle out. But Snafu can see how hard he's trying by the set of his shoulders. He doesn't want to be mad at Snafu either. "Why don't you come over here and lend a hand? 'stead of sitting there like a bump on the log?" Eugene suggests, only a tad snippily. Snafu closes his eyes and grimaces. He shakes his head and raindrops fly off his helmet, "Gene...just…" he flops his arm out of the poncho and makes an awkward beckoning gesture. Eugene sighs and squelches over to sit beside Snafu. Snafu leans against him until their heads are touching. Eugene lets him do this. So Snafu takes it a step further and scoots his entire body over until they're flush against each other. When he gets away with that too, Snafu daringly presses his face into Eugene's neck. He's so close he could lick the rain and dirt off Gene's skin. "I can feel your stinking breath, Snafu," Eugene complains. Snafu just takes a deeper breath and exhales. It's a testament to how much Eugene loves him that he doesn't automatically shove Snafu away. Eugene pulls his helmet off, tilts his head up to look at the rain and feel it hit his face. Snafu leans back a little to watch him, enjoying the sight of the water running down his neck. Eugene always looks beautiful when wet, no matter how frustrated Snafu is at him. Unexpectedly Eugene's eyes dart to Snafu. "Snaf…!" He exclaims quietly, realization dawning in his eyes, "On Pavuvu...in the rain, you had that same dazed look. You were watching me, weren't you?" Snafu bites his lip and looks away. "Was that the reason for the…you know… after…" Eugene's brain is doing some quick thinking and Snafu can see it in his eyes. 'Yes Sledgehammer,' Snafu wants to say, 'I watched you scrub your supple body in the rain and got such a boner, it gave me anxiety.' Instead he shrugs. Eugene starts laughing. "I was all wet," Snafu says defensively, "Couldn't hide a thing." Eugene keeps laughing, almost going hysterical. "It shouldn't have happened. Don't know why it did," Snafu insists, "You dropped the fucking soap. You said 'whoopsie daisy'. Who the fuck even says that anymore except for old geezers?" Eugene just laughs. "What are you guys talking about?" Hamm asks "Nothing that concerns you, Hambone," Snafu says warning. "Snafu, leave him be," Eugene says with a vague annoyance in his voice, "And stop calling him that." Snafu smiles. And then cuts his eyes at Eugene, "Shit, you're jealous. You miss being the only one with a special nickname? That it?" "I said…" Eugene states calmly, "Leave it be." "Don't you worry, Sledgehammer," Snafu teases, "No nickname is as special as yours." "Mer…" Eugene warns, using his own personal nickname for Snafu as if it's a threat. Something he usually only whispers when no one else can hear. "Bon Bon," Snafu says gleefully. Eugene glares at Snafu. "Bon Bon?" Hamm questions. "Bondourant," Snafu explains, "Sledgehammer's middle name." "No one calls me that," Eugene grumbles and crams his helmet back on his head. He shifts further down into the mud and compacts himself into a pissy huddle under his poncho. "Even you don't call me that," he accuses Snafu. "Might be a missed opportunity there," Snafu says, "could'a caught on faster than 'Sledgehammer' if I'd thought of it first. Fits you better. Kinda like 'Hambone' makes more sense than two 'M's." "Shelton, just leave everybody alone," Eugene complains. Snafu can hear the real anger in his lover's voice now. The humor, and the teasing somehow soured the mood instead of lightening it. He doesn't understand how Eugene could possibly be jealous of something as silly as a nickname. Feeling bereft, Snafu wiggles his arm out of his own poncho and under Gene's, but secretly so no one catches on to what they are doing. Snafu persistently tugs on Eugene's sleeve until Gene relents and moves his hand closer so Snafu can grasp it tight. Snafu squeezes his hand and Eugene finally

turns to meet his eyes. Snafu's apology is wordless, but it works. Eugene scoots over to Snafu till they are huddled together once more. "You guys an old married couple or something?" Hamm jokes when he sees how they've 'made up' after their fight. "The equivalent of it," Burgie answers with some humor of his own. "Burgie's jealous," Snafu quips. "Don't start, Mer," Eugene tells him quietly. "He misses his Aussie girlfriend," Snafu continues, "Wishes he had what Gene and I've got right here…" Snafu grins, like it's all a joke. "What do Gene and you have?" Hamm asks. "Absolutely nothing," Eugene says coldly. It's entirely too believable for Snafu's comfort. Which shuts him up real quick. Snafu thinks maybe he went too far. Maybe he revealed too much in front of Hamm. Unfortunately what Hambone does or doesn't know quickly becomes a moot point. In a flash the green boot is gone, and Eugene and Snafu are alone in their foxhole once more. As the guilt sets in, Snafu distances himself. He stops giving Eugene little kisses, he stops touching him altogether. Eugene doesn't seem to notice. He certainly doesn't react. After peace is declared, the options for Snafu's life narrow considerably. Everyone else starts thinking about 'what next'. He can't relate. He should be on the first boat home, before anyone else in K Company. He's got extra points from his battle on Gloucester which technically puts him months before Eugene on the list. But when he thinks about heading home without his Sledgehammer, he feels physically sick. He starts avoiding Gene in order to avoid this illness… until Burgie catches on and finally confronts him. "Snafu, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Burgie demands. Snafu blanches at his tone and thinks about slinking away silently, but quickly realizes Burgie has him boxed in on all sides. They're in the mechanics shop and Snafu is tinkering with an unused boat, hoping to sneak it out for joyrides round the island. The shop is small and everywhere Snafu turns there's Marines and work being done. Burgie is blocking Snafu's only route for escape. "If Florence was here I would not be wasting so much time," Burgie glares at Snafu. "Except what you and Florence get up to is legal," Snafu says evasively. "Is that what's bothering you?" Burgie looks deeply flabbergasted, "You think Sledge will… rat you out? Or something?" Snafu glances around surreptitiously and juts into Burgie's personal space to whisper, "Nice Alabama boys don't break the law." "Snafu, you know Sledge cares more about you than dumb laws," Burgie hisses, "Stop hiding from him." "He always knows where to find me," Snafu turns back to his boat and pretends Burgie isn't there. "Chicken," Burgie says. "I'm not the one clucking like a mother hen," Snafu retorts. "Yeah but you're the one fucking your own life up," Burgie says. "Naw," Snafu argues, "I'm making sure not to fuck his." "Grow up, Snaf," Burgie mutters. Snafu makes a chicken clucking noise as Burgie walks away. But as soon as Burgie is gone, Snafu throws down his tools in frustration at his tinkering not fucking working, and then kicks the hull of the boat in anger. He breaks his big toe. And is officially ordered bed rest until further notice. Eugene is the one to bring him ice packs round the clock as Snafu is laid up in bed. Snafu can hobble to and from the head, but that's about it. The tent they're stationed in is huge and always full of people so Snafu can never respond properly to Eugene's unasked for kindness. The most he does is say grudging 'thank you's whenever Eugene drops off ice or food while on his way to work detail or to borrow a new book or whatever it is smart boys do in their free time. Snafu can never tell if the new distance between them is killing Eugene as much as it's killing him. The minute Snafu's foot heals, he gets assigned work duty, as if to make up for all the time he missed. He grudgingly accepts this, partially because fair's fair, but also partially because it keeps him out of Eugene's hair. He toils during the day, and

sleeps fitfully at night, and lounges on the beach every chance he can get. Every once in a while he'll look up and catch Eugene's eye on him. But the boy never says anything. The only time they work together is when the higher ups announce a big storm is predicted to hit in the coming days. "Big Storm" is putting it mildly. The locals whisper about typhoons and deadly winds, and entire ships stuck out on the ocean. And Snafu and Sledge are the only two guys determined to fasten down their company's tent. They don't talk as they prepare, simply exchange one loaded glance. Both of them grew up on the southern coast, both have seen angry storms, they know not to underestimate the power of mother nature - especially if the locals are afraid. They fall into a familiar pattern working together, kind of like digging their foxhole in tandem. Snafu has his own particular storm preparations, and Eugene's got his. They lend a hand to each other when needed and get out of each other's way when not. By the time they're done, K company's tent is the sturdiest on the island. Snafu doesn't know if Eugene suggested his improvements to the other guys. Snafu certainly didn't share any information. Either way, definitely nobody told the officers because during the height of the storm, when Snafu is huddled in his cot, covers wrapped around himself as tight as can be to ward off the chill, a bedraggled private drags open their tent flap to announce company K is called to duty. At first Snafu can't believe it. He stares in horror as this green replacement undoes all his and Eugene's hard work, opens the flap, and lets in a torrent of rain water. The K company men in the tent hastily jump to action, if only to be able to close off their safe and secure dry oasis once more. Unfortunately, it also means closing up the dry oasis while they are standing outside it getting drenched. The six of them make their way across the camp. Snafu's baggy ill-fitting shorts are already making it hard for him to walk. The wet fabric hangs heavy on him, only held up by the fraying rope he pulled through his belt loops. The officers keep saying any day now they'll receive a supply drop of new service uniforms for the enlisted men. But that was weeks ago. Snafu hits an uneven patch of mud and his foot goes out from underneath him. In an instant, Eugene stops him from falling on his ass by colliding with Snafu's back and propping him up. Snafu didn't even know Eugene was following him closely enough to be there so quick. "Are you okay?" Eugene whispers in Snafu's ear. Snafu nods. "I meant your foot," Eugene elaborates, "Is your toe okay?" "Yeah," Snafu croaks. Yeah, he's okay. He's in Eugene's arms again. He's got Eugene's breath on the back of his neck and Eugene's chest pressed up against his back. It'd take a typhoon the size of his great aunt Tilly to get Snafu to leave Gene's embrace. Or perhaps the barked orders of an angry, wet, tired NCO. "Hurry it up back there!" the NCO yells at them, barely able to make himself heard over the wind. Snafu reluctantly extricates himself from Eugene's arms and continues walking. Their company is tasked with restoring an officer's knocked down tent. Why they're being told to do this in the middle of the storm is anyone's guess. With grim faces and bitter determination, they follow orders and get to work. Snafu can barely see through the rain, but even with such poor visibility he can tell the tent is sloppily built. He exchanges a commiserate judgemental look with Eugene. Eugene recognizes poor construction too. "All right men, everybody take a corner," Burgie announces. "If they had us do this a few hours ago before the damn storm even started…" Eugene complains beneath his breath at Snafu. Snafu sympathizes but he does as he's told, because he's still a Marine. But then again, the war's over so he allows himself a few grumbles while he does it. And he circumvents orders to peek his head inside the tent and see exactly whose ass they're saving here. Lightning flashes and he gets a good glimpse. The

occupants don't surprise him. Snafu nudges Eugene in the ribs to make Eugene pause his work battening down the ropes. "What?" Eugene hisses. "It's a couple of replacements," Snafu informs him, "Fresh from home. Don't even got mud on their boots yet." "You're kidding me," Eugene says flatly, sounding as if he's at the end of his own rope. Snafu shakes his head. "Fuck," Eugene curses under his breath. Which is a big deal for Eugene. "We've only got one pair of pants each," Snafu mutters, "We're gonna go to bed with wet asses cause these guys couldn't bother to do their own tent properly." Eugene shakes his head angrily. He grips the rope tight, takes a deep breath, and his jaw juts out in that stubborn way of his that means trouble. Snafu loves that look. He knows that look intimately. "Burgie," Eugene whispers sharp. He leans away from Snafu and towards Burgin on the other side of him. Snafu can't hear what Eugene says, but he must have told Burgie about the owners of this tent they're saving, because the next thing Burgie does is issue a new string of nonverbal instructions. The men stare at him. They can see the gestures Burgie is doing, they know what he's telling them, they just can't believe it. Snafu doesn't question Burgie's orders - not that he ever would - but this time he follows them wholeheartedly. Snafu, Eugene, Jay, Stringbean, and Burgie let loose their ropes simultaneously. The tent collapses, the replacement officers get drenched, and Burgie fakes outrage over the 'accident'. And they all laugh about it afterwards in the privacy of their own tent. As soon as they duck under their tent flap, Snafu explodes in giggles. He leans against Eugene and cracks up, unable to stop himself and desperately hoping he hasn't gone crazy. Eugene joins him, indulging in a good satisfied chuckle over the officers getting their just desserts. Their slightly hysterical joy is catching. The men make jokes, give each other congratulatory slaps on the back. The mood in the tent goes from being miserable and self-pitying, to one of humor. The camaraderie warms Snafu. He feels within his place in the world in a way he never did back home. He knows this is partially why he's so reluctant to leave. The guys are triumphant, feeling they've bested their superiors and gotten away with it. No one but Snafu is thinking any sort of serious thoughts. "It'd be our ass if they knew we done that on purpose, " Snafu warns despite his grin. "Who's going to tell them?" Eugene challenges, "You?" Snafu laughs and his smile widens. He hasn't seen Eugene this happy in over a year. The moment would be absolutely perfect… if it weren't for the damp canvas currently sticking inside Snafu's butt crack. "I'm sick and tired of being wet!" Snafu cries as he kicks his sandal-boots off and strips down to the nude. He throws the offending wet shorts across the tent. They hit the wall and stick for a minute before plopping to the ground. The men around him laugh and agree. Snafu decides tonight is for sleeping bare assed as the day he was born, and crawls under his cot blanket without hesitation. "Snaf's got the right idea here, Burg," Eugene says and yanks his own pants off. A bunch of the other guys follow suit until there is a large pile of wet shorts in the corner of the tent. Burgie shakes his head and affects a stern look, but everyone knows he won't enforce the dress code tonight. And as people dry off and become more comfortable, slowly one by one they drift off to sleep. Except Snafu. Snafu tosses and turns under his blankets. He may be dry, but he's still freezing his ass off from the biting wind. "It's so fucking drafty," he complains loudly to the room at large. No one answers him. "I'm so damn cold," he whines. Again without answers. "First they stick us in a hundred degree heat, and then they make us sit through a typhoon with nothing but ratty blankets," Snafu complains. "Go the fuck to sleep, Snafu," Bill Leyden lovingly throws a shoe in Snafu's direction. He misses. "Maybe if you're quiet you'll warm up,"

Eugene suggests. "Pretty sure that's not how it works," Snafu retorts, "Shouldn't you know? Being so educated and all?" He refuses to stop complaining. The guys groan every time he opens his mouth. Until finally Eugene, sick to death of Snafu's whining, throws his own blanket on top of Snafu's for added warmth. Snafu is surprised that Eugene would sacrifice his own comfort to make Snafu feel better. "Real martyr that Eugene," Bill comments, "Taking one for the team to shut shit-n-ass up." Eugene doesn't say anything. He simply climbs out of his own cot, and scoots into Snafu's from behind, pulling the double blankets over them both. Which shocks Snafu even more. "Isn't it gonna be hot under there with the both of you?" Bill asks obnoxiously. "No worse than all that hot air filling your head," Eugene retorts. The guys laugh, and Eugene's change of sleeping arrangement becomes a joke rather than what it actually is. "I always sleep better if I'm sleeping on top of somebody," Snafu announces, feeling brash. Bill laughs and whistles provocatively. Burgie sighs "Prove it then, go the fuck to sleep, the both of you." Unbeknownst to everyone around them, under the cover of darkness, Eugene's arm snakes around Snafu's waist and pulls him flush against Eugene's body. Gene presses his face into the nape of Snafu's neck and whispers almost silently, "I still love you. I will wait for you." Snafu shivers and pushes himself closer into Eugene's embrace. He doesn't have to respond. He simply locks his hands around Eugene's to keep him in place, and closes his eyes. They both fall asleep within minutes. He really does sleep better in Eugene's arms. The tension between them breaks. Snafu gradually lets Eugene back into his life. When they're transferred to China, he follows Eugene on all Eugene's hair-brained educational schemes. They even get their own room in the British Ligation, just the two of them, with two cots though only one is ever used. Snafu becomes accustomed to sleeping beside someone. Months later, Snafu's precious bubble of happiness in China breaks - they're both sent home. And too soon the familiar words 'New Orleans' wakes Snafu with a start. The train underneath him is still rocking, but the movement is slowing. Soon they'll be stopped. Presumably at the station where he's supposed to be getting off. Still exhausted in a weary way that won't change for a long while, Snafu drops his head back against the soft pillow he's been sleeping on. And then remembers who it is. He cranes his neck around and sees Sledge still sleeping peacefully. Snafu is tucked up against Eugene's side, with his head against the fat of Eugene's arm and his hand near Eugene's stomach. Snafu props his chin on Eugene's shoulder and watches him sleep. Eugene's a funny sleeper. In all the years Snafu has known him, half the time it seems Gene sleeps so deep nothing could wake him. The other half he wakes at the slightest provocation, and Snafu can never predict which to expect. Snafu palms his hand over Eugene's stomach, just so he can feel Gene's body move one last time before he leaves. Eugene doesn't even notice, he continues dozing with a slight snore. Snafu remembers falling asleep on Gene's shoulder a year ago, and playing with Eugene's hands for ten minutes until he woke up. If the train car wasn't full of fellow returning servicemen, Snafu would lean over and kiss Gene goodbye. As it is, it's probably for the best that nothing happens except the train stops, Snafu stands to collect his bag, and Eugene sleeps on. Snafu departs, and he forces himself to not look back. He's in New Orleans again, and with it comes all the same old responsibilities, and a body is never supposed to look back. Common courtesy. (Had Snafu looked back he would have seen Eugene wake up and smack his hand against the train window at Snafu's retreating figure) The problem with coming home to nothing is a total lack of motivation. Snafu knows nowhere to go and doesn't care. He makes it halfway down the train platform before his knees start

shaking. He ducks into a narrow alleyway, leans against an empty trash bin, and lights a smoke. Above him he hears a crack of thunder. Rain's coming, and not the hot comfortable summer kind. He should take shelter, or worry about his bag getting wet, but he doesn't. After Gloucester a minor New Orleans squall is hardly a threat. Snafu tilts his head and looks to the sky as he smokes. The clouds break, the rain starts, and too soon his cigarette flickers out. "Fucking hell!" a very loud, very angry Sledge barrels into the alley and crosses Snafu's field of vision. Snafu is stunned silent as Eugene bears down on him. Gene wastes no time, he doesn't even slow his stride, just walks right up to Snafu, throws his own bag to the ground beside Snafu's, grabs Snafu by the wrists and slams him up against the brick wall. The cigarette falls out of Snafu's limp grasp. Eugene kisses him, completely unconcerned that the train platform is crowded and the alley can't possibly remain empty for long. The minute Eugene releases his grip on Snafu, Snafu grabs him back and continues the kiss. He gets his hands on Eugene's hips and starts fumbling to open his belt. It's pouring rain, and will continue raining for at least a half hour, the alley will remain deserted, they have time. Eugene, when he grows angry and goes from being soft to sharp angles and barbs, is hot as hell and makes Snafu want to jump his bones. Soft Eugene is complacent and too nice. Angry Eugene goes after what he wants, and Snafu desperately enjoys being exactly what Eugene wants underneath his pretty boy facade. Eugene breaks the kiss and refuses to let Snafu have his way. He grabs Snafu's wandering hands once more, but this time instead of shoving them against the wall, Eugene traps them tight between his and Snafu's chests. He glowers at Snafu, "You left me." "You were sleeping," Snafu points out, "Didn't wanna be rude." Eugene takes a deep breath and drops his forehead to their clasped hands. "You obstinate fool," he says bitterly and pins Snafu with his eyes again, looking frustrated and betrayed, "Did it occur to you that maybe I sleep better with you beside me just as much as it ever did for you?" "Sledgehammer," Snafu drawls, "You sleep better cause you're no longer in mud. Got nothing do with me." "Bullshit," Eugene accuses, "Both of those things are bullshit, Snaf...what do I do to get it in your head that I love you?" Snafu laughs and shakes his head, "Don't matter. It won't stick." Eugene shakes him, as if to unstick Snafu's stubbornness, "Then I'll keep saying it, over and over, as long as I need to. And as long as you say it to me back." "Say what?" Snafu smirks. "Say how you feel, dumbass," Eugene glares. "I feel awfully pinned to the wall like a bug right now," Snafu wiggles defiantly. He gives Gene a pointed look. Eugene immediately realizes he's taking his anger out on Snaf and drops his wrists. Eugene takes a step back, out from underneath the eaves of the building. The rain comes down so hard the boy is soaked to the bone in seconds. His bright pink lips slick and glistening and unchanged since the very first afternoon Snafu noticed him. "What do you want, Snafu?" Snafu leans languidly against the wall, his hips out and his head thrown back, his hands hanging relaxed below his shoulders. "I want you," he says and he closes his eyes because this admission will be painful, "I want to kiss you for so long the entire world sees. My own world narrows to you every damn time you're near. You scare me, Gene. I'm not supposed to want anything but I want so much from you...I can't take it. Go home, Eugene. Where you belong." "Too fucking bad," Eugene states. He steps forward again and slides an arm around Snafu's hips to pull him away from the wall. "I already am home," Eugene insists, "I'm with you. So stop making me chase you and let's decide where we're going together." "You're so fucking stubborn," Snafu complains with a dramatic sigh. "Takes one to know one," Eugene reminds him. Snafu laughs and slowly lets himself drift into

Eugene's space. They hold each other, almost as if they're in a dance. Eugene threads his fingers through Snafu's hair and looks at him intently, "Tell me what else you want. Everything." "I want us to live in a house," Snafu demands, defiant like he's daring Eugene to deny him any of it, "On the water - doesn't have to be much, just a little crick. With a birch tree in the backyard, and an attic to store your drawing shit. I want to wake up from the glare of the sun glinting off your stupid hair every morning, in a big bed, on clean white sheets. I want you to take my name." Sledge breaks into the biggest smile Snafu ever saw, "Eugene Shelton," he says, "Sheltonhammer?" Eugene laughs. "Okay," he nods enthusiastically, "Okay, I want all that." "Really?" Snafu laughs in disbelief. Rain gets in his mouth. He sputters and bites his lip. "Yeah," Eugene nods again. "Well, fuck," Snafu declares. "We'll do it," Eugene promises, "We'll do all of it. But before we figure out how, I need you to come home with me to Mobile." Snafu nods, and then adds, "Except tonight. We can afford one night in a hotel. Just the two of us." Eugene smiles, "Yeah. I can agree to that." "Good," Snafu agrees, satisfied. Eugene slings an arm over Snafu's shoulders and Snafu wraps his arm around Eugene's waist. They pick up their duffles and start ambling down the alley. "Sheltonhammer will never catch on," Snafu warns. "You're right," Eugene grins, "I better keep Sledgehammer too." "Eugene Bondurant Sledgehammer Shelton," Snafu says, "What a mouthful." "I like it," Eugene confirms and squeezes Snafu affectionately. "They'll never put that in a phonebook," "Guess we just won't have a phone, then," Eugene says. "I could live with that," Snafu agrees. They do end up with a phone because Eugene's mother will only accept her baby living two states away if she's able to call him whenever she wants. "It's like your mother's psychic," Snafu whines. Out in the hall, Eugene motions with his hands to try to get Snafu to shut up while balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder. Snafu rolls his eyes and refuses to be quiet. "She somehow divines every time you get frisky and suddenly she needs to talk your ear off for five hours," Snafu continues. "We're invited for Christmas," Eugene says after he finally hangs up, "She wants to know if you'll be bringing your homemade pie again. Also this theory of yours completely discounts the number of times we have sex uninterrupted." "Every time we have sex should be unintereupted. I'll bring the pie only if I can be allowed to help with the ham this year," Snafu barters, "Not having any of that dry overcooked shit anymore." "If we get there early enough I can sneak you into the kitchen," Eugene crawls back onto the bed and settles himself on top of Snafu, "She'll never notice any changes to the ham." "Deal," Snafu agrees and drags Eugene in for a kiss. "I love you, Mer," Eugene whispers. Snafu wins Eugene's family over with his uncanny cooking abilities. Snafu always puts it off till the last minute, and stresses Eugene out so much he blames Snafu for his hair loss, but somehow whatever Snafu makes turns out perfect. His specialty is pork chops. Meanwhile, Gene's not allowed to cook after the incident with the waffle maker. Snafu brings this rule up whenever Gene wants to try a new recipe in one of his Good Housekeeping magazines ("Nothing in that rag is true, Sledgehammer. Why d'you even bother?" Snafu pesters him) ("I received no education on this subject growing up, Snafu. I'm learning," Eugene refuses to budge and keeps his subscription). Luckily Snafu has a gift for making questionable recipes edible, and Eugene is good at following directions, both in and out of bed. This year at Christmas dinner, Eugene's mother imbibes a little too much eggnog spiked generously by Snafu. Halfway through the dessert course she leans in close to whisper secretly to her son, "Don't tell Edward but your Snafu can bake circles around Martha. Thank god one of you married well." And pats Eugene's

shoulder proudly. Eugene relays this compliment to Snafu late at night when they're snuggled together tight in Eugene's narrow childhood bed. "And yet nobody suspected about the ham," Eugene adds, "Though a few commented how much better it tasted this year." "What can I say, I'm a fan of big meat," Snafu declares as he sticks his hand down the front of Eugene's pants. "I don't think that actually works well as an innuendo," Eugene retorts. "Got you hard anyway," Snafu's eyes gleam with mischief. Eugene rolls him over and kisses him silent before someone hears them and suddenly turns their visit home awkward. Married life with Gene seems almost too good to be true. Snafu keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. And he really starts to worry when on a random day in spring, he sees Eugene standing stark naked in their backyard during a thunderstorm. "Good thing our phone isn't listed," Snafu calls to Eugene from the dry safety of the wrap-around porch. Eugene might be losing his marbles, but he sure looks good while doing it. Snafu admires his husband's bare ass in the sharp flashes of lightning and lit by the soft glow of their storm lantern. Eugene turns to face Snafu and lifts the lantern up, "What in tarnation are you talking about?" He asks, as if Snafu is the crazy one here. "If we were in the phonebook," Snafu says, "the neighbors would sure be calling by now." "No one can see me," Eugene scoffs, "We have a fence for a reason." "Why're you naked in a thunderstorm, Gene?" Snafu asks with concern, "If you get turned on, you might act like a lightning rod, and we've already got one of those on the roof - we don't need another, Boo." "It's tradition," Eugene explains. "Tradition?" "Our anniversary. It's been four years." "Anniversary?" Snafu grins wildly, expecting a joke, "What kind of shit anniversary have two people like us got?" Gene leaps onto the porch, sets the lantern down at Snafu's feet, and picks up his bible from a chair. His damp hands deftly flip it open to a weathered page and he reads off the date: "March 9th, 1944, Finally got Snafu to shower in the rain and wash his hair but only because I fucked him first." "What?! No way that you wrote that down!" Snafu grabs at the book in Eugene's hands. Eugene laughs and gives it up. And right there, in smudged ink, are the words Gene just read. Snafu runs his hand across them, and remembers how fucked up they both were four years ago. Desperate, and confused, and scared. "So, it's tradition," Eugene states with a know-it-all grin. He walks backward off the porch and back into the rain. His chin tilted up to feel the drops on his face and his hands raised high. Snafu watches in silence for a bit, remembering what it was like during his days of pining. When he didn't dare voice any of his opinions on Eugene's form, let alone reach out and touch. "Nice ass, Sledgehammer," Snafu calls. "You can't see my butt, I'm facing you," Eugene screws up his face in confusion. "Don't need to see it, I already know it's nice," Snafu leans against the porch and crosses his arms. Eugene rolls his eyes, but there's a smile on his face. That smile Snafu especially likes - bashful, embarrassed, and utterly in love. With dark eyes so warm it makes even cold-hearted Snafu feel cozy. "What about what you can see?" Gene asks, teasing. "Gorgeous," Snafu says, more quiet and solemn, "Like a Greek statue." "I'm flattered," Eugene states. He doesn't sound flattered, he sounds sarcastic. "No, I'm serious," Snafu insists, "Exactly like a statue. Except for one… much bigger detail…" "Snaf…" Eugene huffs a laugh. "Ah!" Snafu enthusiastically points at Eugene's crotch and steps off the porch into the rain, "What'd I tell you! You got that lightning rod problem going on there. We better get you inside…" Eugene says nothing, he just sloshes through the puddle that is their garden path and slams into Snafu. His hands slip under Snafu's jaw and tilt his face for an intense kiss. Eugene's hard dick slides into the crevice of Snafu's hips and Snafu drags Eugene tighter

against his body by his waist to trap him there. Now they're both wet and naked making out in their own backyard. Unfortunately just as things start getting interesting lightning strikes the tree beside their heads. It happens in an instant - the entire sky lights up, the lightning jumps from the fried tree to the rod on their house's roof, and fizzles. "Oh fuck!" Snafu hits the deck and takes Eugene with him. Eugene is pressed face first into their muddy grass, with Snafu's broad hand firm on his back, and half of Snafu's body shielding him from harm. And Eugene just laughs. Snafu gradually realizes the danger is gone, and loosens his hold on Gene. Eugene rolls onto his back and looks up at Snafu with a broad grin. "Why are we always interrupted during sex?" Snafu grumbles. "We're not even having sex," Eugene chuckles. He takes Snafu's arm for support and together they pull themselves out of the mud. "Not yet," Snafu argues. "Not here," Eugene retorts, "Let's get back inside. We don't need to tempt fate." "Lighting doesn't strike twice, Gene, you know that," Snafu points out when they're back under the porch. He gives Eugene a once over. "You're gonna need a shower. Maybe with the hose first," he adds after eyeing the grass and dirt clumps stuck to Eugene's front. Snafu leans over the porch rail to unwind the hose and then turns the nozzle on Gene. Eugene cringes and shies away from the water stream, "That's colder than the damn rain, Snaf!" "Turn around, I need to get your ass," Snafu replies. Which is when Eugene decides he's had enough hosing and instead tries to finagle the nozzle out of Snafu's hands. He doesn't succeed. Snafu is a slippery little shit in the best of times, and when wet he's positively lethal. Eugene does get hosed in the ass, and Snafu does lose control of the hose when Eugene goes for the distraction method and kisses Snafu into submission. Snafu can never resist a good smooch. Eugene grins against Snafu's lips, knowing he's won and hefts Snafu up into his arms. He carries Snafu into their house and into the shower to celebrate their 'anniversary' properly.

[turtle-ier]

Hey, want some fanfics? (Part 2!)

So, I've written about 150,000 words of Dream Team fan-fiction over the past five months and bit, and while I’ve done a post like this before, I figured I'd post about it here again in case you Tumblr folk wanted to check it out.

Dream Team AUs

A collection of all my pieces so far - in one neat place! All of them are rated G, T or M, but there is more info about all of them all below the cut.

Leaps and Bounds

“Dream, ever the reckless one in their trio, gets lost in a thunderstorm, and while Sapnap can't find him, he finds a cute little frog instead. And, yeah, even George has to admit that the frog is pretty cute.”

A Princess and the Frog AU

Rating: T

Word count: 3226

Ships: Dream/George

Sea-Shaken

“When Sapnap was a kid he used to pretend that nothing scared him, but now he had to admit that something did. It was a rather unfortunate coincidence that the thing he feared was filled with a mystery so tempting, that it was enough to bring him back to it again and again.”

The Little Mermaid AU

Rating: T

Word count: 12,686

Ships: George/Sapnap

Bring Back Pluto

“In a dead-end town Dream works a dead-end job, with friends who do nothing and much more than him at once. Still reeling from the end of a long relationship, he feels like the rest of his life will be the same forever. Only when someone new comes through his work place and they get talking does he realise that maybe, just maybe, there's something else out there for him too.”

Teenagers AU

Rating: T

Word count: 14,085

Ships: Dream/Sapnap, implied Technoblade/Dream, implied Dream/George

Two Worlds

“George appeared in a new world alone, and in one like one he had never seen before. For one it was an autumnal forest, one getting colder and darker by the day in the decline into winter. Survival wasn't easy at the best of times, but what struck him as strange wasn't the setting, it was the stranger who developed a habit of following him.”

Dark Fantasy AU

Rating: T

Word count: 21,273

Ships: Dream/George

Warnings: Horror elements, minor character death, blood

(This is part one in a three part series! you can find the rest of the series here: Something Else is Out There)

Paint me like your French Girls (Its Charcoal, Actually) 

“George goes to work, he does his job, and on Thursdays he spends his evening doing something he's passionate about, other than reading through Excel worksheets. Then one Thursday in October, a handsome stranger comes through his workplace. It's an unfortunate coincidence that he sees the stranger naked before they know his name.”

Artist/model AU

Rating: T

Word count: 3,650

Ships: Dream/George

Untouchable

“Detention was probably the only time Dream and Sapnap could be in a room together and not start a fight. The teacher apparently didn't know this and left them to their own devices. What followed was the strangest conversation either of them had for a long time.”

Teenagers AU

Rating: T

Word count:2,374

Ships: Dream/Sapnap

A Devil by Any Other Name

“Sapnap's at a halloween party, and the dude in the musketeer costume will NOT stop starring.”

Halloween party AU

Rating: T

Word count: 1,136

Ships: George/Sapnap

Two-Thousand Miles

“October had been kind to them. Moving in meant a new beginning for the three of them and it was a welcome change from stepping on their parents toes, waking up their flatmates all the time, and from living alone. They both envied Dream a little for that last reason, but he insisted that it was awful for someone who was as social as himself. But now it was December. On the 31st of October the UK had been told about the full-scale lockdown coming into effect, and then the warnings came of it potentially continuing over Christmas. And then the heating broke.”

Roomates/Christmas AU

Rating: G

Word count: 3,083

Ships: Dream/George/Sapnap

Rosewater

“With coffee, libraries and awkward conversations, Sapnap's life at university changes as soon as someone says the simple words; "He's into you, you know." Now if only he knew what to do with the information.”

Coffee shop/University AU

Rating: M

Word count: 5,132

Ships: Sapnap/George

A secret best shared

“"Want to know a secret?" Dream asked.”

Minecraft AU

Rating: G

Word count: 396

Ships: Dream/George