#I’m gonna skeeeep now

[starterheart]

I know I post a Lot of bullshit when I’m high but you all should be thankful that I express (what’s the word) as much restraint as I do. I have at least SOME filter of “this does not need to be an outside thought.” and by outside thought I mean posted on tumblr dot com

[mintybearx]

Hello. (vent)

I don’t know how Tumblr works so rip, but anywayyyy ;) I’m just gonna use this account to vent. 

So let’s start off with someone we’ll call “Skep”. So Skep was someone I was with, we met on Roblox (don’t laugh- ok laugh xd) on a game where you could pick up people and the maps would change every few minutes or so. In the beginning, he was a very kind, sweet, innocent dude like I would have never guessed he had a whole problematic backstory, so when he first told me about him having an ex who showed him nudes at age 12 in exchange for his nudes, it kind of made me want to run away?.. Mind you, he just turned 14 in January 4, so uh, yea- wasn’t that long ago. . 

Skep realizes now that it wasn’t healthy (and also illegal), and then also confesses how he wants to be with me. I liked Skep, but I just got out of relationship with someone, so I told him if he could possibly wait for me. He said he would, so for the next few weeks or so, we were doing pretty well, but then...he brings up someone we’ll call “Nagito”. Nagito is one of Skep’s “bffs’” and he tells me that they are jealous of me and Skep’s relationship. I knew something was wrong because 1. How did this person know about me when I never interacted with them? 2. From what I knew about them through Skep, they were with someone, so why even be jealous at all? Turns out Nagito was in a neglectful relationship with a guy who treated them like shit and because Skep would mainly be the one to listen to their problems and try to make them feel better, they developed feelings for him. 

Fast-forward to near my birthday, I was having a terrible week because I had a bad feeling about Skep. I remember thinking things like “He probably lost feelings for me”, “If you don’t open up, he will leave you for someone else” (because I’ll admit, I’m bad at opening up sometimes and even to this day, I’m still pretty bad, but a little better than I was before), etc. Skep wasn’t talking to me as much anymore during this time, and when he did it, it was one-worded answers, or just didn’t put much effort like he used to.. Then, THEN, came my birthday : ) 

Skep’s mom has the same birthday as me, so they went to a hotel with pretty bad wi-fi that apparently allowed Skep to be on Discord, but not on Roblox. But when it was my birthday, I didn’t know any of that.. I remember waiting for Skep to at least tell me a “Happy Birthday” because a week prior, he made it seem like he was going to do something special for me. So when he didn’t..I spent most of my day trying so goddamned hard to be happy. To make it worse, I had to spend it with one of my step-brothers who I didn’t like.. It was just a shit show. 

The next day was when I was able to find out what happened and why he didn’t wish me a happy birthday. Then Skep tells me he needs to tell me something.. Oh boy, that nasty-ass sick feeling in my stomach came back IMMEDIATELY when he said that.. I tell him I think I know what it is. He asks me what I thought it was, and I say, “You either don’t like me anymore or you’re with someone else”... ..... Y’all remember Nagito right? They’re still in this, and you’re about to see what I mean. So Skep tells me “Well...one of those is right..” I couldn’t. Like dude, to have your bad feelings in your stomach be confirmed like that was just.. holy god, I expected him to wait for me, I expected him to say at least a happy birthday to me. And nope. BECAUSE gUESS FUCKING WHAT???? WHEN IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY, BITCH ASS NAGITO JUST HAAAAD TO GO WHINE ABOUT HOW “Oh I BroKe UpPPPPP WiTH My BOyfRIENdDD I’M GoiNG InsANEEEE SKeeEeP HELPPP!1111” TO SKEP. AND WHAT THE FUCK DID SKEP DO??? He thought to make them feel better, because he knew they both had feelings for each other, was by asking them to be his significant other. I cried. Like saying I cried so plainly like that is an understatement. I BAWLED A WHOLE FREAKING PACIFIC OCEAN OUT OF MY EYE SOCKETS, IT WASN’T FUNNY. Anyway, I told him I’m leaving for the sake of them because I knew they had jealousy problems and for the sake of him because oml- Skep still wanted to keep me around as his “pet” while being in a relationship with Nagito. He then breaks up with Nagito right then and there, and I just didn’t know what to do. 

(So after all that, there’s another situation I’ll call the “Hajime Situation”, but I’ma skip it here because that’s a story for another time and this is mostly about Nagito and Skep’s relationship with one another)

So now that we’re passed that, I come to find out that Nagito has trouble with saying “No” to other people on the internet and they also have a problem with venting because they believe no one cares about them. I don’t know about you, but if you have a hard time saying “No” to people on THE INTERNET, of all places, you need to get off. This meant that Nagito was subjected to online predatory people and seeing things they shouldn’t have been seeing. OH YEA. DID I FORGET TO MENTION NAGITO IS BARELY 13??? MEANING WHEN THAT WHOLE BIRTHDAY FIASCO HAPPENED, I WAS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH A 12 YEAR OLD?? Pathetic? I know, but I mean I thought they were 14 like Skep at the time because Skep never bothered to tell me their age. Still doesn’t make it any better? Eh...I know that, too. It was only recently that Skep decided to take Nagito out of his life because I explained to him that it’s not a good idea to be friends with exes. A little bit before that, though, Nagito was putting things like “You (Me) took my favorite person (Skep) away from me..” I know it’s referring to me and Skep because Nagito said as much to Skep when asked about it. Nagito also doesn’t understand why Skep always listens to me over them. I mean I get you guys are friends, but god damn.  Skep tried defending their behavior at first, saying they said sorry, this and that. It was annoying because they only said sorry because Skep talked to them about it, and if they really wanted to make their sorry mean anything, they should have tried to contact me.

Towards the end, Skep also tried staying friends and justifying their behavior by saying things like “Oh but Nagito has a boyfriend now and is happy with them. So why do I have to unfriend them?” Really?? You really think I’ma believe Nagito is happy with them, even though it hasn’t even been a week since the whole “You took my favorite person away from me” happened? Yea, I didn’t believe it. 

Okay, that’s all. Goodbye :) Until idk