#I’m glad that cliffhanger it leaves you on doesn’t put you off :3

[x-gon-give-it]

Hello! I know it's been years since you've wrote the Invisble Man series but I have just been so obsessed with it, I was wondering if you were ever gonna finish it some day? No pressure whatsoever, I'm actually pretty content with this cliffhanger

Hi there! It has been a while, huh? I do still intend on finishing it, it’s actually pretty close to being done.

Unfortunately, I recently lost the flashdrive that holds all of my fics, WIP’s, planning pages, and half finished chapters and I’ve been in anguish ever since. I may attempt to rewrite them from scratch hnnnggkfjdjjwsj the pain) but that’s…that’s a lot. That’s…hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[silentfcknhill]

FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets  alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions: 

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer​ and anyone else who wants to!

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?��� even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

[futurebicon]

No Control Part 3

Julian is nonbinary in this fic and I think they will be in all of my fics from now on even though in my original NB Jules fic they came out when they were older.

I wrote this in 4 hours. Kinda proud. I might try and stay up late and get the next part written tonight if at all possible. (No idea how many parts this will be) I've finally used this tablet enough so that the keyboard is a decent speed.

Warning- hospital, injury, not really panic attack but being in shock, no medical knowledge

"Hey Captain No Spleen." James smirked.

Sirius smiled back but was quickly overwhelmed by all the greetings.

"How are you feeling, min fils?" Dumo asked.

Sirius looked at Remus. The words Dumo just said formed slightly over his lips, hoping the movement brought recognition of the meaning to his mind. He shook his head as it failed to remember. "Re" he whispered inaudibly.

Remus nodded and soothed back his hair. "It's okay."

"He's having some trouble understanding what people are saying. It takes a while for his mind to process the words and with his amnesia he sometimes doesn't remember what the words mean." He explained.

"That'll go away, right?" Kasey asked.

"Yeah." Remus nodded. "Once his mind heals more or once the shock of it wears off."

"Logan?" Sirius spoke. Everyone was obviously shocked by how small his voice sounded.

"He's okay." James told him.

'Slow' Remus mouthed as Sirius blinked in confusion.

"He's okay." James repeated slowly. "Leo and Finn are with him. He's resting."

Sirius nodded in understanding.

"He was worried about you." Thomas told him.

"Good" Sirius smirked with his eyes closed.

"That's a bit rude, spleenless." James shook his head with a smile. All of them glad to see some sign of their Captain.

"How- how-" Sirius struggled.

"How what, baby?"

"When-" He groaned.

"Is it about Logan?"

"No" he gritted out forcefully.

"It's okay. Just take your time, love."

"Other- when- can't think-" Sirius hit the bed in frustration. "Can't think."

"Hey, hey, shh." Remus took his hand. "It's okay. It's okay. I know it must be frustrating but it's okay. Just breathe love and then take your time."

"Other- car" he said a minute later after trying to form the right words.

"What happened to the other car?" Dumo tried when Sirius didn't say anything else.

"Yes" Sirius breathed in relief that someone understood.

"Oh, um. They think it was a hit and run."

'Hit and run' Sirius mouthed.

"It means that the driver hit your car and then drove off." Remus explained.

"Why- did- would-"

"We don't know but the police are investigating." James told him.

"Oh. Have- talk to-"

"You don't have to talk to them now, but once you're better you might. Logan told them what happened earlier." Remus assured him.

"Oh-kay" he sounded out.

Anymore conversation was cut off by the door opening.

"Hey Cap." Finn smiled tiredly as Leo and him walked into the room.

"What happened? Where's Logan?" Dumo asked.

"He's fine" Finn told him "Kicked us out so he could sleep and they could run tests."

"You okay, Knut?" Remus noticed Leos cornered animal appearance.

"Hm? Oh. I'm okay." He darted his eyes down when he made eye contact.

"Think I'm just tired." His voice was a quiet and slurred mutter.

"Here. No one sit." Kuny had stood up from his chair, knowing Leo was too dazed to notice.

'Thank you' Finn mouthed as Leo sat down. Serigi moved so Finn could sit beside him.

"Le- okay?" Sirius asked.

Finn gave him a confused look before Remus retold what was going on.

"Oh. Yeah. I think he's just in shock still." He said slow for Sirius. "He was weird with Logan when we first saw him. Said he was scared to hurt him. I'm pretty sure he just needs sleep."

"Hey that news place they were going to do the interview for just tweeted. 'Due to irresponsible time management, childish pranking, or just plain laziness, Logan Trembley and Sirius Black did not show up for their interview today. Apologize to all who were anxiously awaiting to read it.'" James read the post.

"So no one told anyone?" Kasey asked.

"I have a picture of the car that the police gave us." Finn smirked. "Should I log in to the teams account and retweet their post?"

"Do it." Everyone told him to.

"Coach said do it." Kasey read his reply. "He said the league hasn't responded to anything he has told them and hasn't even heard anything he told them. So this should get enough of their attention."

"What do I say?" Finn asked. "Just 'Here's why'?"

"Make sure to say that they're alive" Dumo told him.

"Re" Sirius hit Remus's arm. "Too many- go slower- want to know."

"Guys." Remus said loud enough for everyone to stop talking. "Slow down, one at a time." He nodded towards Sirius.

"Sorry" Sirius muttered and looked down. Like he was ashamed that he couldn't process what they were saying.

"It's okay." Dumo shook his head.

"The interview you were going to posted something petty about how you weren't there." Remus explained. "Finn is going to post a picture of the crash because we're also petty."

Sirius smiled at the words. "League don't-"

"Coach is trying to tell them but they won't listen."

"Now they will." James wiggled his eyebrows.

Finn cleared his throat dramatically, making Sirius smile and Leo giggle, before reading what he had typed like he was reading a message from the king.

"Sirius Black and Logan Trembly would of loved to do the interview, but because of someone elses inability to read a speedometer, stop at a red light, and not drive away after hitting a car, they were unable to. They would be estatic to sit down and have a nice chat once they are out of the hospital. We are sorry to anyone anxiously awaiting to see them play next week. Due to a punctured lung, bruised heart, broken ribs, damaged kidney, brain damage, a broken leg, severe whiplash, and a missing organ, they won't be able to make it to the game. Thank you for your understanding and please drive safe."

"Perfect" James laughed.

"And.... posted." Finn pressed the post button dramatically.

"Oh fuck." Remus turned serious. "Did any of us tell families about this?"

"Nope. Shit." Finn pulled his phone back out of his pocket. "I'll go call Lo's parents." He kissed Leo.

"Call mine too?" The happiness that ghosted Leos face when Finn was being dramatic had left him emotionless again.

"Of course, baby." Finn kissed him again and left the room.

"Tell- parents?" Sirius looked at Remus.

"I'll tell them." Remus nodded.

"We'll go." Dumo said.

"I probably should answer my parents." James held up his phone.

"Noelle's gonna murder me." Talker whined as his rang.

The team trickled out till it was just Sirius and Remus.

"Remus?" Hope answered the phone. "We saw what was posted. Is he alright?"

"He's okay, mom." Remus assured her.

"Oh thank god." Lyall breathed.

Sirius smiled at their reactions to him being okay.

"Can I talk to him?" Jules asked.

"Yeah he's right here bu-"

They cut him off. Going a million miles an hour.

Sirius gave Remus a pleading look because he loved Jules and he knew that they talked like this but right now Sirius needed them to slow down.

"Jules- Jules." Remus tried to stop his sibling. "Slow down. Let me talk first."

Remus heard his parents quiet them.

"Sirius is having some trouble understanding what people are saying. It takes a while for his mind to process the words and he also has some very slight amnesia that's making it a little hard for him to remember what some words mean. So when you talk just talk slowly like I am and you're going to have to make sure you talk clearly, especially through the phone."

"Why can't he understand the words?" Jules had slowed down but their slow was other peoples normal.

"Slower, kiddo. He hit his head pretty hard in the accident, like a really bad concussion. He also has some trouble talking and remembering words."

"Ohhh" Jules dragged out the word.

How are you feeling, Sirius?" Hope asked, speaking perfectly.

"I'm- good." Sirius told her.

"What injures are yours?" Jules sounded out each sylible.

"Can talk- faster-." Sirius laughed, trying hard to talk well.

"From Finns list and the doctors he was, broken leg, whiplash, brain injury, punctured lung, broken rib, and his spleen was ruptured in the crash and had to be removed but spleens aren't too necessary apparently."

"You don't have an organ?" Jules asked in awe.

"Nope" Sirius laughed.

"Well we'll leave you to get better." Hope said. "Don't be surprised if we show up in the next few days." They said their goodbyes loudly.

+++

"Okay?" Sirius asked when Leo walked in an hour later.

"Logan, uh, Logan had to go into surgery." he put his hands in the pockets of his, possibly Logans or maybe Finns, sweatshirt and bunched it up as he rocked on his heels.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Misdiagnosed his heart and it was actually more serious than just a bruise. It was actually a tear or some-something. He- he flatlined while we were up there."

Cliffhanger I'm sorry

It's only gonna get angstier

@lumosinlove

[lizacstuff]

Hi! Your thoughts on the epi? How emotional was the ending? I also loved that the stories came full circle (Apollo and the little prince). With how much they were discussing the strawberry allergy, I knew it was a matter of time before an allergic reaction emergency would occur. Serkan is not perfect but honestly who's parents are? I'm glad he got the reassurance he needed from both Eda and Kiraz. I'm also glad the truth about Aydan and Kemal's five year relationship is out to Serkan.

My apologies in taking so long to answer this, but LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. For me, this was a very gentle, but very enjoyable episode of television. I think you'd have to go back to season one episodes 4,5,6 to find three episodes in a row that were as good as 43, 44, 45 (coincidentally episode 4,5,6 of the 2nd season). How delightful that cliffhangers in season 2 are emotional plot points for our dynamic duo, instead of the nonsense like falling off of boats or getting caught by a gunman while playing detective, or non-stop, third-party psycho trauma like we endured during 29-38.

The ending was very emotional! As you say, it was always a matter of time before the strawberry allergy played a role, they've mentioned it too many times this season for it not too. Here it played two roles, first putting Kiraz's life in danger thus cementing their burgeoning family unit AND being the genetic tie between three previously hidden generations. Potent stuff.

I was thrilled by all the domestic Edser in this episode. Outdoors, kitchen, living room, bedroom, kid's room, we got it all! I just loved the family time, and the sexual tension and the way they grew closer throughout the episode. I saw some criticism that they made no progress in this episode, but I disagree with that. Just because they didn't make out or have sex, doesn't mean they didn't progress. In this episode they went from being on opposite sides of a custody battle to agreeing to buy a car together, travel together, work together, not to mention having a romantic dinner together.

So buckets of progress was made, however, more on that later, first the supporting characters...

(more under the cut)

What a relief to have both Eda and Serkan treating Aydan and Ayfer as the meddling interlopers they are! Serkan wordless, furious glares were delicious, seriously I don't know how AA had the courage to stay in the house with him looking at them like that, he couldn't have been less welcoming. And Eda actually questioning her aunt about why she was there was a surprise. Of course Ayfer continues to be super punchable. I really, really wanted to hit her right in the face when she gloated over Kiraz calling him Serkan Bolat. Seriously, bitch? You know that's your grandniece, right? And you know that she must have some issues about her dad being absent from her life (which you are partially responsible for) so the fact that you're gloating that a man who was prevented from knowing he had a daughter (again, partially your fault) and a girl who was prevented from having a father (again, you bear some blame) have an emotional barrier in their relationship is beyond shitty. What happened to her personally that made her such a cynical asshole?

Aydan on the other hand is still annoying but she has her own problems, lmao. I'm dying because early in the day the episode aired, I said to both @echoapothecary and @melly326 that it was a shame that the show had decided to waste the potential of Sinan's resemblance to Kerem. I have been hoping they would do the Serkan father storyline since the moment the character was introduced, but the day I give up hope for it is the day it happens! I legit had no expectations that there was even a chance it could still happen.

Personally I'm excited, It's nice that the writers gave Aydan some cover, she didn't lie, she simply didn't remember they had hot baby-making sex back when she was having problems with Alptekin. Imagine what might have happened had she remembered at the time. If Aydan had come clean and left Alptekin, Serkan never would have been sent away, Aydan would have had the support she needed when Alp died and Serkan would have grown up loved. I hope Alptekin suspected the truth, because it would go a long way in explaining why he was such a shit-stain to Serkan his whole life.

It was obvious what direction the story was going from the conversation between Kemal and Aydan when he told her they'd "you know'd" that night, but I still let out a squeal when he revealed his strawberry allergy. Three generations of aversion to frangeria. Google tells me that severe strawberry allergy is rare so this really is an obvious flag they've been waving in front of everyone.

The story also dovetails nicely with Serkan's own journey with surprise fatherhood. We know he hasn't taken to Kemal, has been suspicious of him, however hopefully his own experience being kept out of his daughter's life will make him sympathetic to his newly found father.

Engin and Piril... were there. I can't tell you how much I don't care about Engin's out-of-the blue catering business, or Piril's suspicions. However, I did enjoy the 3 way family phone call, once again Can comes through with the right bit of info for Kiraz, he's definitely the most useful member of that family.

Pina and Kerem were also... in the episode. I did giggle when Asst Kerem admitted he was stunned into silence by Serkan's charisma. Tell me about it.

As for Melo, she stole the show among the supporting characters. Her heartbreak was palpable, but WHYYYYYYY did she have to fall for such a no-personality sad sack? Seriously, even drunk that guy is boring. Also why is he lurking outside Eda's house like a creeper, staring in windows? What does it take to get through to him? Serkan and Eda are following a court order and living together, they are in the process of making their first lunch together, you, sir, are not needed at their home for their first meal as a family. GIVE THEM SOME SPACE!

I really don't get what Melo sees in him. However her crush gave us the funny scenes with the mug turning red and also the heartfelt friendship scene with Eda. It's about time Eda is shown taking an interest in her life, it was really lovely how Melo got over the awkwardness of telling her and Eda was supportive and kind. Also hopefully it made Eda aware of the problems associated with not drawing hard boundaries for someone she knows has feelings for her. Draw the boundary, Eda.

As for Eda, she was a bit softer this episode, you could see Serkan getting to her. One of my favorite things about the episode was how Serkan was subtly planning their life together as a family, and Eda being swept away with the tide and going along with it. (gif set here) Family car? check. Family trip to Italy? Check. Sharing an office and working together at Art Life again? Check. Answering questions and giving preferences about one specific house Serkan is designing? Check.

This is significant because no matter that Eda still (understandably) needs time to forgive Serkan and to trust him with her (and Kiraz's) heart again, deep down she knows it's inevitable. She knows they're inevitable. There's no reason to seriously fight the inroads he's making into their life, because she knows he's going to succeed. In the deep recesses of her mind, she knows she's going to forgive him, and that they're going to be together, not just as co-parents to Kiraz, but as a very much in-love couple. However, she still needs a little time to get there. And that's okay. You don't erase five years of loneliness and heartbreak in a few days, nor should you try to. There's no reason for her to rush to let him back in her bed or into her heart, there's time for her to heal and for him to prove she can trust that he won't leave her again, even for noble reasons.

The bet was a clever way to extend their time living together. And I liked the detail that she was secretly so pleased to have him there, and still so attracted to him, but she knew she couldn't let him know because then it would be game over. He'd settle in and never leave. Not that I think she wants him to leave, she doesn't and that's what scares her. She clearly wants him, and wants him there, she got melty every time she looked at him with Kiraz, but she can hardly be blamed for needing to take it slow. That being said, while putting Kiraz to bed, I loved how Eda's plan to put Serkan on the hot seat completely backfired on her. Hee hee. She decided to tell Kiraz that they're being honest and to ask whatever she wants (that could have gone really wrong, by the way, if she asked if Daddy had really been in space) but daddy's-girl Kiraz immediately turns it back on Eda and wants to know if she loves Serkan Bolat and then sets them up in the same room. Good girl, Kiraz!

I immensely enjoyed the tension of Eda and Serkan sharing a room and sparring about which side they have to sleep on and OF COURSE they can only sleep facing one another. And OF COURSE Serkan migrated to the bed in the middle of the night. Funny how these two keep waking up all wrapped up in one another, almost like... they not only gravitate to one another, they also calm and comfort one another.

Once again, every scene between Edser and Kiraz was gold. I can't say enough how tiresome I usually find children on screen, but here I'm just delighted by her precociousness. Even her making a giant mess in the kitchen was endearing. As I said, I loved how much domestic Edser we got this episode. Them running around the kitchen with their daughter, having a flour fight? Pure delight. And I swear Maya Basol looks more like a mixture of Hande and Kerem than their own child would. It's simply uncanny.

Beyond their domestic scenes, it was lovely to see them both just falling back into a spot where their lives were intertwined. Loved Serkan driving her to work at the hotel, and then driving her home again when she quit. Not to mention how supportive he was, I'm not sure how she didn't either jump him right then and there or start crying in relief, when he was telling her she has the talent to be doing bigger more prestigious jobs and now that he was here to help she could do it. Eda's had support in raising Kiraz from Ayfer and Melo, but they really don't understand her career. Serkan understands. He is the life partner she's been missing.

Eda and Serkan seem to be on the same page as far as their families interference, being annoyed at both Ayfer and Aydan, I'm glad to see neither trying to defend mother/aunt to the other. Eda also seemed annoyed by Serkan moving his office to her house for the day, and she made several inferences, as she's been doing, about him putting work first. This is completely understandable, IMO. He left her on their wedding day for work, and he used "work is the most important thing to me" as the reason both times he broke her heart. Yes, after the fact, she found out that there were other, much bigger reasons and work was just the excuse, however that doesn't erase her deep-seated, pavlovian-like response she has to him seeming to prioritize work. She lived five years, raising their child alone, thinking he loved work more than her. It's completely natural that she's holding onto that for a bit. And it's okay if he needs to prove to her that he can prioritize her and Kiraz over work before she lets it go completely. I get it.

As I said, I enjoyed Serkan trying to trap her with the mood mug, that's the kind of gentle friction and comedy I'm here for. Of course he does catch her later on the phone admitting that she loves that he's there and it's game, set, match. For Serkan. I think we're all glad he won that bet. However, him removing his bed on the floor was a bold move and he pretty much deserved her locking him out after he did it. I read a lot ridiculous discourse on this, and my response is: you're taking this show too seriously again. This is a romcom move, it was done for comedy, and I promise you Serkan is able to fend for himself. If he didn't want to be kicked out, he shouldn't have tried to force his way into her bed again. Waaaaay presumptuous, man.

Buuuuut... how did Serkan get off the balcony? I don't know, but as I said he can fend for himself. Dude probably spent the night on the living room couch. Serkan's sneezing was cute, but being cold doesn't give you a cold. Maybe it's an allergy from too much time outdoors, lol. LOVED Serkan smoothly convincing Eda to come back to the office. If he'd approached that directly, it might have been a weeks long endeavor to get her to make ArtLife her office, but Serkan building the play school was genius! He never wastes time, that guy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but this was impressive.

It warmed my heart how they fell so easily into working side by side. Casual conversations about what they were working on, and, you know, randomly deciding to go on a family trip to Italy with your estranged lover, as you do. Which all led to one of my favorite scenes... dinner! They got back to honest, open communication and it was lovely. Thankfully, Eda stopped letting him think she was running off to spend time with Burak and I adored Serkan coming clean and allowing himself to be vulnerable in admitting that he'd made the dinner for them and that he'd been upset when she didn't show. That's how you make progress. Just beautiful.

As for the "we need to all tell the truth" scene, that was silly, but if it gave us Aydan's secret being revealed I'm a-okay with it. About time! Buba was once again annoying and it was cathartic for Serkan to be able to tell him he doesn't like him. Same, Serkan. Seriously, can he and Ayfer fall in love and move to the country to run an Alpaca farm or something? The hospital scene was very poignant, I wrote more about it here. Now what I need is for Eda and Serkan to walk out of that hospital room and, out of relief, fall into the tightest hug. Crossing fingers!

[fizzingwizard]

Digimon Adventure: Ep 19!

Wow! That certainly was an Episode!! It was pretty fun from start to finish, though nothing mind-blowing, but it was definitely the ending that made me gasp. Not wholly unexpected to an old turnip like me, but promising lots of fun (and angst!).

Picture of the week: MIKO, THE TRUE STAR OF THE SERIES!!

no for serious are the writers reading my reviews? they keep giving me what I want. within reason I guess. They seem to have an extremely limited budget as usual x’D

but Miko is still adorbs

ok I’m really looking forward to recapping this one so let’s get to it!

So last week I thought the kids sans Taichi and Yamato were abducted by Devimon, but apparently that either isn’t the case, or it was, but then Devimon decided it’s best just to dump the kids back on Earth and hold on to their partners. Because that’s the current situation. While concerning that the kids are separated from their partners, it’s probably best this way, since Devimon appears to be sending Gesomon(?) and Parrotmon(?)

to the human world, if I remember right. It’s hard to remember what happened in the first fifteen seconds kay So when the kids find their partners it will probably be in the human world and they can fight back.

Meanwhile Taichi and Yamato are alone and very Confuse

Taichi tries frantically to contact Koushirou. The others too... but especially Koushirou.

Finally he gets him!! He’s so happy!! My Taishiro heart flutters!

But I was fully expecting it to be a trap. When I saw this still here, my first thought was “Devimon’s forcing him to tell Taichi a lie by threatening him with a gun!!”

of course thats not whats happening. Koushirou is relatively fine and there are no guns (yet). What’s happened is the other kids have been sent back to the human world for reals this time!

This show is not even bothering to hide its Taiyama angle.

They spend the entire episode giving each other Significant Looks like this. The entire episode.

Now where’s Jou through all of this, you ask?

He went to talk to the police. He’s shocked they don’t believe his story about monster attacks and the world ending (well, at least Tokyo ending). I freaking love how taaaaall Jou is. Though it makes Koushirou look like a bean x’D

Jou = beansprout / Koushirou = bean

Koushirou has a much easier time dealing with the news that the police don’t believe them. He’s a denizen of the Internet. He knows how people’s minds work. And he has tons of chat logs to prove it.

People are chatting and spreading gossip and disbelief and complaints, but my favorite is the comment that just says “It’s a flood of fake news” xP

The home team runs into Mama Yagami! Who Sora literally calls Mama Yagami! x’D I mean I know that’s how kids generally refer to their friends’ parents but I still lol’d.

So un... Jou is almost as tall as Mama Yagami. LMAO. I’m gonna assume she’s short. Jou might indeed be quite tall for his age but Sora and Mimi are pretty close to Mama Yagami’s height too. I guess we haven’t seen Taichi standing next to his mom yet! With his hair he’s probably taller than her.

So Mama Yagami is HILARIOUS and I’m so glad that’s a continuing thing in the reboot! She was already that way in 99 Adventure, but we’re just seeing a lot of it now - like every time she’s around. (And we didn’t see it in Tri so I missed that.) Basically she seems like a basketcase. Not a totally irresponsible one, more like just... generally the carefree go with the flow type. Which is not bad. She just also seems a bit, uh, ditzy?? I think Taichi probably grew to be so serious by necessity. Dad’s busy with work and someone’s gotta make sure mom doesn’t leave the house without her keys!

The way Sora just stares at Hikari like “explain??” after Mama Yagami thrusts Miko at her and runs off to get her car with a big smile as if they hadn’t all nearly died recently... bahahaha.

also I love how she doesn’t even bother asking her son’s good friend if she knows where he is after not seeing or hearing from him for three full days

^The face of a boy shouldering the weight of nuclear family life and all its batshitness

Taichi and Yamato determine their priority is find the Holy Digimon. I wish they were a little more concerned with what happened to their friends’ partners, but I guess this is the only goal with solid clues. Anyway before they can do anything they are attacked by Bulbmon Looks like subtitlers went with Valvemon which also works, who looks like a Lego monster creation by an eight year old (and probably is).

He has the Domo face. Grrraaah

Domo is NHK mascot by the way. bahahaha

Next these guys come swarming out of Valvemon. (And if we didn’t already get it, apparently Digimon can construct other Digimon as we’ve seen before.) Nothing is quite as freaky as gas masks. They are commanded by Minotaurmon/Mintaromon whatever.

They too have the aim of Stormtroopers though so our heroes will be fine...

... probably...

... then Leomon finally shows up!! Yay! He looks good! All beefy and scarred and sounding exactly like Zaraki Kenpachi. Uhh. Is it the same VA?? Nothing comes up in the Google search so maybe not but it sure sounds like him. (Minotaurmon and Ogremon also sound like Leomon... while it’s normal for VAs in kids shows to voice multiple characters esp minor ones, it literally sounds like Zaraki Kenpachi is the voice of all the characters in this episode besides the main ones. And Mama Yagami of course because that would be weird.)

Leomon may look cool, but his ride... and his friends... uh, less cool x’D I want to strangle that ostrich thing with its own scarf somehow it inspires violent emotion in me

In the smallest, most shocked voice, Yamato says, “Leomon...?” It’s honestly kind of adorable. He’s clearly remembering what Neemon said about Leomon leading the resistance way back when.

Leomon helps them escape. Taichi very considerately and cutely helps Agumon aboard the fashion disaster ostrich emu thing.

Yamato also considerately helps his partner but rather less cutely xD

Leomon takes them to his hideout and gives them your standard fare of weird-looking Digi fruit. He then proceeds to tell them about Devimon and that he is trying to infiltrate Valvemon yadda yadda.

Taichi is freaking ADORABLE, immediately concerned that by saving their asses, Leomon’s battle plans have been ruined. Leomon waves that aside though. Yamato is equally adorabibble when he asks after Neemon and gets told that they made it to Leomon safely.

Leomon plans to try to get into Valvemon again because he knows Devimon’s put something related to the holy Digimon in there. Taichi is determined to join in. He doesn’t have much of an argument as it why they should be allowed when they just got their butts kicked so easily, but he has a trick up his sleeve: the Burning Eyes of Fiery Passion.

Not to be outdone, Yamato shoots off his Icy Eyes of Cold Determination.

Faced with this twin assault, Leomon has to give in. Ahh, I remember last week when we saw the trailer for this ep and I naively thought Leomon would train them like Piximon did in 99 Adventure. Nope. They’ve just met and they’re already spy buddies.

Okay, okay, yeah Leomon does seem to have some knowledge of the “Chosen Children” and that’s his real motivation. Still.

They break into Valvemon and we get the excellent invention of Agumon riding on Garurumon. I assume because of Garurumon’s advantageous speed. That seems to be recurring thing in this show.

Idk I just capped this because he’s so darn cute

I don’t know why I capped this one though.

They enter some sort of central space where Leomon tells them something relevant to the holy Digimon is being kept. (Lol I already forgot the details of what he said.) There are two protectors, Minotaurmon and Bullmon. Leomon tells the kids to take Bullmon while he faces down Minotaurmon. These guys might have been somewhat intimidating if we hadn’t already got Perfect level evolutions mastered, not to mention the occasional Jogress :P Sooo I didn’t feel too worried.

... uh, never mind x’D Taichi what are you doing

Yamato saves his idiot butt and almost gets in a bind himself. Once again I’m just wondering why they are sticking at Adult level. Whatever. They win of course

Leomon uses his Fist of the Beast King to maim Minotaurmon. His brilliant one-liner? “I have more than one first.”

Bully: *punches you*

You: ow

Bully: *smirk* I have more than one fist.

You: That’s funny, I only have one, but it’s made of titanium *You punch the bully straight through the stratosphere* Quality over quantity!!!!

*cough*

Our heroes approach the secret compartment supposedly holding something to do with the holy Digimon... Yamato gets a look inside and gets the black shadow of true terror over his eyes

becaue floating inside like some kind of Weapon X experiment is... Takeru!!!

Hold on while I put in my ear plugs. Okay, ready, screech all you want now.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

So... okay. First of all, baby Takeru is sooooooo cute <3 I had two predictions about what happened to Takeru last week. Either he ended up in the digital world and was now on his own, or he got abducted by Devimon. I thought the former was more likely, but in hindsight, it should have been obvious that it was the second. This show misses a lot of points where I feel like they could have developed some relationships or thrown in some drama, but it never passes up a chance for Yamato angst.

So yeah, this is pretty much gonna destroy Yamato xD Not only is the baby brother he wanted to protect no longer at home where he can easily protect him, he’s now in the digital world and in the enemy’s clutches.

I BETTER SEE REALLY TRAUMATIZED YAMATO NEXT WEEK. Of course, I expect him to be cool-headed enough to try to save Takeru, but I will be very disappoint if this goes off with no break downs at all. Takeru is always Yamato’s number one priority!

Super exciteddddd

So I give this ep 7.5/10. The .5 is pretty much for ending with a killer cliffhanger. My one real complaint about this ep is how highly plot-based everything is - we finally got the team all together only to split them up, and on top of that, once split up, we don’t even get all that many character moments between Taichi and Yamato. As I said, they give each other lots of Signifcant Looks, but man cannot live on bread alone. However this is par for the course for this show and I know I should stop mentioning it every week because I doubt it’s changing. We will get the big shockers when we get them and not a moment before.

I just want Yamato to cry in front of Taichi and make him all uncomfortable x’D That’s what made 99 Adventure so great bahahaha

Some cool bits from next week’s trailer:

Surprise surprise, Angemon is the holy Digimon! Or one of, anyway. And he is indeed trapped. This makes the “Angemon is Devimon” theory less likely. Let’s not forget that our heroes’ Digimon partners were evidently a band of powerful warriors in the past, but they’ve forgotten much of it. I won’t be surprised if the result of that war played a part in Angemon’s abduction.

Next week they’ll have to fight to save Takeru from being drained, I guess.

And then!! Digi egg! Excite. Also I only just noticed that his hate says TK!!!

Takeruuu <3 My first fav when I was 10. Though my heart has belonged to Taichi for many long years, I still have a special spot in it for Takeru only <3 Even if he does dress like a celery stick

[freakygirlie]

Walker- 1x05~spoilers~

bye this shouldn’t have taken a month but here we are and I have no excuse other than the fact that I was avoiding tumblr anyways

~spoilers~ last warning!!!

4 MONTHS FLASHBACK WAS SO WELL SET UP!!! Walker in the Duke outfit looked good enough to eat <3 Ok and I liked Twyla in the beginning PLEASE.

‘‘Hope you can count to 11′‘ JDSJHJDSH SASS ON POINT <3

The scene of Walker shoving his head in the sink of water to ground himself was heartbreaking but at the same time so...badass idk man. Walker Ily.

‘‘August is grounded’‘ ‘‘You really want to test me? After this?’‘ SNAPPP. But like August is so scared of his dad leaving :( (i need to stop comparing sam and august in my head bye)

TRICKI!!! Micki and Trey’s interaction over his job was so cute i LOVE THEMMM. ‘’sports medicine’’ trey that’s not a thing but issok ily. Trey wanting to introduce Micki to his mom :’) OK BUT MY FAV PART WAS THAT AFTER MICKI SNAPPED AT TREY SHE IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZED LIKE HELLO COMMUNICATION!!! WE STAN A COUPLE LIKE THIS SO MUCH!!!

SHIRTLESS WALKER ALERT SHIRTLESS WALKER ALERT H E L P.

‘‘Keep the circle small and the lies honest’‘ dAMN new instagram caption

I hate Graves. Like so much. Bitch diE. LIAM DEFENDING HIS BROTHER SO TRUE <33 MICKI DEFENDING WALKER! SO! TRUE!

JARED CALLING TWYLA BABY GIRL AND BABY DOLL PLEASE SOMEONE H E L P, LIGHTING MYSELF ON FIRE

sexy times we love ;) ‘’garlic bread and whiskey(?)’’ YUH SAME WALKER SAME.

WHY TF DOES EVERYONE THINK HE STOLE THE MONEY STAY AWAY FROM MY BOY :(

I don’t like Ruby ok. Someone tell her to go far away from August pls

MICKI GOING UNDERCOVER TO HELP WALKER SO TRUE AND SHE LOOKS SO GOERGEOUS MICKI HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS MARRY ME.

HER GOING AFTER TO HELP WALKER EVEN WHEN GRAVES TOLD HER NOT TOO I AKDJHJDHD EXPLOSION. CW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT SHIP THEM.

MICKI’S ACCENT HEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPP. ALSO WALKER’S ACCENT AS DUKEEE HELPPPPPPP. I have an accent kink apparently.

HAHHAHAHSAHJS TWYLA QUESTIONING MICKI(ADRIANA) AS TO WHO DUKE’S BEST FRIEND IS AND MICKI GUESSING IT CORRECTLY I LOVE HER. And that smug smirk she had when talking about putting him in lockup JSHJHSGS YES MICK WE KNOWWW.

‘‘there’s something she’s gotta do first’‘ I IMMEDIATELY KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE THE BULL SCENE AND I KID U NOT IT WAS EPIC. IT DELIVERED. I LOVE THAT SCENE SM<3

But the one before that! Walker and Micki’s convo! Micki ribbing Walker for being a jackass<33 and Walker knowing that she stood up for him SHUT UP I LOVE THEMMM. Walker yelling in Micki’s ear JDSJDHJ ‘’still think i’m crooked Graves?’’ a) which kinda crooked walker ;) and b) graves i hate u bye

AUGUST COMING TO FIND HIS DAD OVER THERE. OHMYGOD OK LISTEN I LOVE U BUT U ARE AN IDIOT. Legitimately i was so mad Walker didn’t scold August for doing what he did. The conversation really broke my heart though. Walker was just pleADING with his eyes for August to go away but *sighs*.

Trey and Stella’s interaction was the cUTEST!!! I love Trey so much actually. And him being coach is smth I’m also very excited to see more of, he’s gonna be great!!!(this is a very nice time to add that Jeff Pierre liked my comment on insta<33)

And then we get to the best scene of this episode. Walker and Micki along with the others about to ‘’plan’’ the new raid so they can cover the missing 300K, walker being stressed about the August situation, shaking his hand and visibly trembling, MICKI HOLDING HIS HAND TO GROUND HIM SOMEONE TAKE ME AWAY I AM D E C E A S E D. THAT SO VERY TINY SCENE MOVED ME SO MUCH SHUT UP I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM.

THE WHOLE SHOOTOUT GOING THERE ENTIRE SCENE!!!! YES BADASS TEXAS RANGERS AWESOME GUN FIGHTING BAM BAM BAM.

Also i really loved the flashbacks of Duke’s undercover time. They were really well done and flowed with the story so much, how is this show real.

But Jared Padalecki i-

‘‘I lost someone....My brother’‘ YOU LITTLE- YOU KNEW. YOU KNEW WHAT THAT WOULD DO TO US I WILL CHEW ROCKS. ‘‘he was my best friend’‘ JARED WHY WHY WHY WHY.

‘‘butch and sundance’‘ i hate this show.

Loved Walker’s fake attempt to escape, so he doesn’t blow his cover, I don’t like Twyla anymore :) but i liked Duke, the character he was and ngl I ship Twyla and Duke, no one come after me for this.

WHEN HE GOT SHOT OHMYGOD FOR A SECOND I FREAKED SO BAD.(It’s just my Sam ptsd activating no biggie :/ i need to get over spn for my own good ohmyGod)

So as far as Twyla or Clint goes, Duke’s dead.......that might....come bite them in the ass later(after watching episode 6: oops i spoke too soon:) )

Clint and Crystal’s last dance moment was cute ok dont @ me bye

LIAM AND CORDELL ARE SO CUTE OHMYGOD. Liam calling Cordell ‘Cordi’ I’m in my feels no one touch me. The hand on his necK NO ONE TOUCH ME. PROTECTIVE!LIAM RIGHTS!!!

CORDELL TELLING LIAM NONE OF THAT WITH CLINT WAS ON HIM H E L P PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER JDJSDJD I LOVE. 

THE HUG!!!! <33333

WALKER COMING HOME TO HIS KIDS AND EXPLAINING THE SITUATION!!! WE LOVE COMMUNICATION. ‘’Duke is dead’’ CHILLS.

Them burning everything, and getting rid of it all and being a family, i teared up again damn this show.

‘‘Emily’s murder....something is off,’‘ YEAH GET ON THE TRAIN BRO WHAT HAS WALKER BEEN SAYING

Micki and Trey scene!!!! I love them again, and the fact that they open up to each other and talk about what’s real and important! I love tricki so much <3

ANYWAYS THIS EPISODE WAS A BLAST!!!!! VERY WELL AND NICELY DONE WALKER JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!! Also so glad it didn’t end on a cliffhanger <3

Speculation/Thoughts for Episode 6:- (what i felt when i first watched the promo since this is being uploaded after the 6th ep has aired i’m an idiot ok)

WHY IS GERI SELLING THE BAR I REALLY LIKE IT! SIDESTEP SHOULD REMAIN P L E A S E. ALSO HOYT RAWLINS IS COMIGN BACK OMG OMG OMG I LOVE HIM OK YEEEEE!!! And um Liam and James investigating Emily’s murder...........without informing Walker.........that’s gonna go well.....AND HELLO WHAT DO THEY FIND??? IK SOMEONE ON THE INSIDE IS INVOLVED OK. 

Micki’s mom is coming in this ep! I wanna see how that one plays out since we know they don’t have the best relationship. *sighs* parents :) 

i cant wait 3 weeks wtf. bring walker back.

[stardust-and-snickerdoodles]

I’m Sure They’ll Understand pt. 3

part 1 part 2

fandom: MCU

pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

summary: Steve’s injured on the mission. You have to help the team get him out, no matter how much they may or may not trust you.

warnings: angst, mentions of injury

word count: 1924

a/n: did y’all like the cliffhanger i left you on?? ;)

i think there’s going to be one more part to this! i didn’t want this part to get too long.

Sam’s words ring in your ears.

Rogers is down.

Before you know it, you’re on your knees. Your breath comes in gasps as you try to wrap your mind around those three words.

Rogers is down.

Bucky’s trying to tell you something but you can’t hear him. All you can hear is Sam’s voice, over and over again.

Oh God. Are you going to lose him? You can’t. You can’t handle this. No no no –

At some point, Bucky hauls you to your feet and grabs your face in his hands. “Y/N,” he barks, “Focus. We need to go. Now.”

You nod, barely registering his words. Then you’re out the door of the jet, stumbling across a snowy field to the HYDRA base. Your hands are shaking as you try to notch an arrow onto the string of your bow.

Once you’re at the doors to the base however, your instincts kick in and you swipe away the tears from your cheeks. You finally manage to notch the arrow and do a quick once-over of your quiver and knives. You take a deep breath, nod to Bucky, and follow him into the base.

There are a few bodies strewn about the floor, all HYDRA agents. You step over them carefully, bow at the ready. Bucky walks slightly in front of you, gun raised. It is eerily quiet, even though you can hear the sounds of combat still in your earpiece.

“Where are we going, Stark?” Bucky whispers harshly.

“There’s a staircase just off the main hallway,” comes Tony’s reply. There’s a pause as you hear his phasers firing. “It’s hidden behind a wall panel; it leads to the rest of the base.”

You look around the hallway and notice one of the panels juts out just barely. “Here,” you murmur to Bucky, tilting your head toward the panel.

Bucky nods and presses a hand against the panel, obviously unsure of how to open it. It slides open and a look of pleasure crosses his face, if only for a moment.

The staircase is dark and smells like old books; you’re guessing this is one of the older HYDRA bases, probably from around its founding. You follow Bucky down the stairs quietly as the sounds of fighting become evident.

“They’ve got us cornered down here,” Sam’s voice breaks through the earpiece. “I’ve moved Rogers to a secure location but I’m going to need a clear path in order to get him out.”

“We’re on our way,” you reply. You’re going to get Steve to safety, no matter what.

You round a corner and the combat grows louder. The sounds you were once hearing exclusively in your earpiece can be made out in person. You’re surrounded by HYDRA lab equipment; this must have been a research base rather than a training center. That’s good at least – you won’t find any experienced super soldiers here.

“Y/L/N! Barnes! Over here,” Sam’s voice calls out to you. You spot his form behind a lab table, close to a partially open door. He waves you over and you follow Bucky to him.

As you come around the side of the table, you see Steve’s boots sticking out from behind a crouching Sam. The full scene comes into view, and you cover your mouth in horror.

Sam has his hands pressed to a rapidly darkening stain on Steve’s abdomen, most likely from a gunshot wound. Steve is unconscious, blissfully unaware of the combat happening just one room over.

Sam nods toward the door. “The others are in there,” he says quickly. “Everybody else is tied down with agents. They just keep flooding in; I don’t know where they’re all coming from. The way you came in is the only way out.” He pauses. “And unfortunately, I don’t have super strength. So, I couldn’t get Rogers out on my own.” His eyes are pleading as he looks up at you.

Bucky nods, determined. “Y/N will get him out.”

You look at the super soldier, surprise evident on your face. You’d thought Bucky would want to stay with his friend. But you’re not complaining; this must be a sign that his trust for you is growing – or he just doesn’t want you having any direct contact with HYDRA.

“Sam and I’ll help the others hold them off,” Bucky continues, meeting your gaze. “Get Steve to the jet and stop the bleeding. We’ll try to get out of here as quickly as possible.”

Sam nods his agreement and looks to you again. “You’ll need to move fast once I take my hands off this wound. He’s probably going to lose a lot of blood before you get to the quinjet. Don’t stop on the way.” His voice is a mixture grim determination and resignation.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you choke out, still fixated on Steve – your Steve – bleeding on the ground.

You get in position next to Sam, your hands sliding under Steve’s unmoving form. Sam counts down and removes his hands from the wound, and you take off running.

Steve’s bulk is nothing for your enhanced strength and thankfully you have enhanced speed as well. Remembering your way through the labyrinth of hallways is easy; ignoring the trail of blood that you leave in your wake is not. You whisper reassurance under your breath to Steve, unsure if he can even hear you. Reaching the staircase, you skid to a stop when you notice a figure at the top of the stairs.

You hesitate for a moment, trying to determine if you can take out whoever it is without putting Steve down. Before you can come to a decision, the figure begins to descend the stairs slowly.

“Ranger,” a feminine, airy voice says. A chill runs down your spine at the sound of your old moniker and you freeze, unable to move.

“Well done, gaining the trust of the Avengers. I’m glad to see you haven’t strayed away from your mission,” the voice continues as the figure becomes illuminated.

You vaguely recall her face, but no name comes to mind. She used to be one of your handlers, quite… aggressive in her ways, if you remember correctly.

You shake your head as visions of your time as a HYDRA operative flood your mind. You respond through gritted teeth, “Move. I won’t ask again.”

She lets out a breathy laugh, using her body to block the stairs. “Oh, I always enjoyed you. So… feisty.” A wicked smile crosses her face as she glares at you.

Through the cloud of anger in you mind, you try to think. You have to get Steve to the jet. His blood is coating your hands and you’re losing your grip on him rapidly. Putting him down is the last thing you’ll do but you can’t fight this woman if you don’t.

Before you have a chance to make a decision, a shot rings out and the woman falls backward. Her forehead has been adorned with a single bullet wound.

You turn quickly and see Natasha standing about 20 feet behind you, pistol in hand. “Heard you over the earpiece,” she explains quickly at your look of confusion. “Go.”

Remembering the task at hand, you nod a quick thank you to Nat and step over the fallen corpse of the woman. You take the stairs three at a time as you try to make up for lost time.

Once you reach the quinjet, you set Steve down in the makeshift medbay. You grab some gauze pads from a nearby shelf and press them to the wound, praying desperately that your run-in with the woman hasn’t had an immense impact.

Steve groans as you apply pressure and for a moment, you think he’s going to open his eyes. But it must have just been an automatic response to the increased pain because he makes no further movement. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

The weight of the situation hits you all at once now that you’re back in relative safety. The fear and despair that overcame you when Sam had first announced Steve’s injury reappear with full force. Here is the man that has been nothing but supportive and kind to you, dying under your hands. The very lifeforce flowing through his veins now flowing between your fingers. The serum that magnifies his strength and compassion now doing its very best just to keep him alive. And you, you are powerless to do anything about it.

The tears that you’d hastily wiped away before now stream freely down your cheeks. You sob over Steve’s motionless form as the emotions overtake you.

That woman, she’d nearly kept you from saving Steve. If she weren’t already dead, you would rip her limb from limb.

“Y/N,” Sam comes on through the earpiece, “Did you reach the jet?”

“Yes,” you manage to whisper, hoping your voice doesn’t betray your emotion.

“Good, we’re heading back to you. Just finishing up with the last of the agents.”

You offer no reply but your relief is tangible. The quicker they return, the quicker Steve will be on the road to recovery. You hope, at least.

The next few minutes seem to pass by at a crawl as you wait for the team. You think the bleeding has slowed, but you can’t be sure. At least you’ve stopped crying

Finally, Tony enters the jet, the others all trailing close behind. They all seem bone-tired but board with a sense of urgency. As they pass by you, each offers a terse nod or a look of sympathy. Bucky and Sam are the last two to board. They head over to you and Steve immediately, faces grim, as the jet takes off.

“Any change?” Sam asks.

“Um,” you clear your throat hastily, “I think the bleeding has slowed a bit. I’m not sure though.”

Sam nods and casts a quick glance to Bucky, who is sitting close by with his eyes fixed on Steve. “Good. Let’s get him back to the compound; I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He gives you a reassuring smile and pats your shoulder.

The whole ride back to the compound is silent. Each Avenger seems shell-shocked, which is to be expected. The thing that surprises you is the obvious lack of tension and spite directed toward you. You’d started this mission thinking the Avengers would never trust you, but now it seems you’ve managed to gain it in some capacity. If only it hadn’t taken Steve getting injured to earn it, you think, only slightly bitter.

Once you reach the compound, there’s a flurry of activity as Steve is carted off to the medical center. You start to follow them, but Bucky grabs your wrist and stops you. You turn and find the whole team staring at you.

“They won’t let you into the operating theater,” Bucky states bluntly. “Besides…” He hesitates and glances at the others behind him. “Best to have company while you wait for him to get out, anyway.”

“Oh,” is all you can think to say.

Tony steps forward slightly, not quite meeting your eyes. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him look… guilty? “Thanks for, ah, coming to our aid in there, Katniss.”

A strange warmth bubbles up inside you at the nickname and you can’t stop the smile that graces your lips. “Anytime, Tin Man.”

“Come on.” Tony leads the way out of the jet. Obviously, he can only be emotional in quick bursts. “Let’s go eat ice cream and talk about our feelings.”

>>>

part 4

tags: @aspie-allie​ @ashwarren32​ @geek-and-proud​ @ilovesupersoldiers​ @thewolfgirluniverse​ @xstormiii​

[penguiduck]

The Relationship Between Online Readers & Writers: How to Write the Best Feedback

Introduction | Part 1: What is this Relationship? | Part 2: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Readers | Part 3: A Day in the Life of… | Part 4: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Perspectives | Part 5: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Implementation | Part 6: How to Write the Best Feedback  | Part 7: Where Does This Leave Us?

Since I've put so much emphasis on providing feedback, I believe it's only fair if I offer some instruction as well.

1. Thank your writers. They put a lot of work into producing this content for you — it is only gracious to thank them for their efforts. If someone gave you a piece of art or a homemade gift, the correct response is gratitude. Why is writing any different?

2. Be personal. It goes without saying, but writers are not robots who can crank out writing nonstop. They are providing you content that is creative and comes from the heart — the writing process is a subjective, tedious one. I think it is only gracious to reflect that same warmth and care in your feedback. Speak human to human. There is someone with very real feelings and thoughts on the other side of the screen.

What are some ways to be personal?

a) Pay attention to writers’ notes. There may be certain events going on in their lives. Maybe they’re struggling with the illness of a family member or celebrating a positive experience. They obviously only include information they wish to share. If a friend came up to you and said “It’s my birthday!” would you ignore them? Probably not; it doesn’t seem polite. Or if a friend said “I’m feeling a little bummed out. My dog passed away,” the socially correct response is to offer your condolences.

b) If you happen to realize that the writer is reaching a milestone — 100 chapters, one-year anniversary on AO3, etc. — celebrate it! Congratulate them!

c) Bring up past conversations. While your feedback is speaking to the writing, you are allowed to bring up past interactions that can enrich your comments. Maybe the writer mentioned something about a plot twist a while back. Adding a “I remember you mentioning this!” can really make writers feel special because that means you were paying attention.

3. Be specific and relevant.

I mentioned this in the previous chapter, but I think it’s worth mentioning again: I have a fuel tank for my inspiration when it comes to writing. I can run on a near-empty tank, but it’s difficult for me to do, and I struggle with creating content. It’s far easier for me to write and put out quality work when my inspiration tank is full. Every piece of feedback I receive fills it with a certain amount of inspiration.

Quality feedback refills my inspiration tank far more quickly than vague and general comments do. What are ways in which you can be specific and relevant to increase the quality of your comments?

a) You’re obviously reading this particular piece of writing for a reason. What makes you choose this story over others? What makes it special or unique? Is it the writer’s personal style? Their knack for detail and imagery? Do their sentences flow beautifully? Is their characterization spot-on? Tell them why you choose to spend your precious time reading their writing!

b) What about the characters? Does your writer have a strong grasp on keeping these characters true to their original interpretations? Are they exploring facets of their characters that you’ve never seen done before in other fanfiction? Is there a particular character that gives you the warm fuzzies, especially because of the way they are written? Is there someone you really don’t like? Why?

c) Be relevant. Leaving a comment like “PIES. I LOVE PIES” when there is a brief mention of a pie in the story doesn’t tell writers very much, unless you explain why this particular item is of note to you. Otherwise, this is not unlike going to your friend’s choir recital. Maybe she sings something from “The Lion King,” and your response is, “I like warthogs.” It’s a pretty strange comment that doesn’t speak to her performance. Let’s be a bit more cognizant of how your thoughts can come across relevantly.

Did you like the way they incorporated pies into the piece? Did you find it coincidental that they added pies because you just made one? Instead, you could say something like “I found it really interesting that you had [character name] go with pies because I was just grocery shopping and decided to buy a pie, even though I don’t really have a sweet tooth. It’s pretty impressive, though, for [character name] because pie dough can be really tough to make! I’m impressed he figured it out!”

d) How are you feeling about the progression of the story? The plot? The small details that writers add to make it more interesting? Do you have any thoughts about what might happen next? Would you be particularly excited about a certain event taking place? Perhaps you have a strong opinion on a character’s actions or choices?

e) How does this writer’s work affect you emotionally? Has there ever been a time when you were feeling upset or overwhelmed? Maybe you picked up a story from this writer, and you felt better. For me, knowing that my work can help give someone an escape or a place of respite from the real world is absolutely astonishing. Communicate this with your favorite writers. Trust me — they will be glad to know that they have helped you.

4. Be thoughtful and kind. This should be obvious, but sometimes it’s not.

While I think writers should be open and receptive to constructive criticism, I also think readers should be sensitive and mindful when giving it. If you are interested in offering criticism, it’s generally good practice to ask if the writer is receptive to it first. I welcome thoughtful criticism, but others may not. Criticism, no matter how fair or unfair, can be absolutely devastating to writers who are not ready for it. Harsh criticism can even break someone’s spirit.

Writers are artists who wish to share their craft with the world for you to enjoy. In doing so, voluntarily or not, they offer their work up to critics — but that doesn’t mean they are necessarily wanting to have their writing picked apart, concept by concept, word by word.

Here are some considerations if you wish to provide constructive criticism:

a) What is your intention? Would providing critical feedback be constructive and useful to the writer? Remember that criticism is meant to help writers become better writers —otherwise, it wouldn’t be constructive. Instead, your comment would be considered malicious, spiteful, or just plain spam. I think it’s vital that you assess this before providing criticism.

b) Is your criticism reasonable?

If you notice some characterization or detail about something canon-specific that is not correct in chapter 1 and the writer is on the 47th chapter, are you expecting them to go back and edit all 47 chapters? This is not a reasonable expectation, and mentioning something like this, correct as you may be, is not helpful and could potentially be very discouraging.

c) Is your criticism well-founded? I understand this is highly subjective, but I’ve received some harsh and nonconstructive criticisms before that don’t have any basis. Either, the commenter completely misinterpreted my meaning without giving me a benefit of the doubt that my intentions were good or they don’t realize I actually addressed their point in future chapters or they were just incorrect in their research. Please make sure that before you submit your constructive criticism, your logic is sound to the best of your ability and that you’ve considered the writer’s point-of-view.

d) Say something nice, please. I don’t think it’s good etiquette to have your first interaction be negative. Providing constructive criticism implies that you care enough about the content and writer to help them improve — if not, hit the back button and move on with your day. If so, then that means there must be something redeeming about the writing that makes you wish to be a part of its success. Show that. Otherwise, your constructive criticism may not come off as constructive at all — instead, it could be interpreted as unkind, and if you really do have best intentions at heart, then being kind is a minimum requirement for interactions.

Talk about what you like about a writer’s work first and even explain why you’re providing criticism. Start with something like: “Hi! I absolutely love that you’re writing for this fandom. I think you write [character name] very well, better than most interpretations I’ve come across! If I may, I’d like to discuss your most recent portrayal of [character name]. I see where you were coming from, but I think he may have been a little too forward because [insert reasons]. What was your thought process behind this? Other that particular scene, I’ve been very pleased with your portrayal! ”

Really, take a page out of Thumper’s book: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.

Below, you will find a hodge-podge of questions that may help you construct your feedback:

Who is your favorite character? Why?

What do you like about this author's writing style?

What makes this piece different than others?

Has any part of this piece/chapter made you smile? What was it?

Give your honest opinion on an character, whether you like or dislike him/her.

How do you like the main character? Why?

What do you think is going to happen next? What makes you think that?

Is there a character you just want to suffocate in hugs?

Do any of the characters remind you of someone else?

What is it about this piece that has had you following it for so long?

If there is a cliffhanger, what makes you so anxious to see what happens next?

How do you think this story will end?

How will this piece ending make you feel? Will you be sad that it's over?

Is there a character you pity?

How do you feel about the villain(s)?

If this story were real and you really were the main character, who would be your best friend?

For WWYFFs, who is your favorite bachelor? Why? Can you even choose one?

Has this author ever written a part in this piece that made you uncomfortable? Why?

What's your overall opinion on the main character's behavior?

Did a part in this piece/chapter make you crack up? What was it?

Do silly thoughts ever enter your head while reading this piece?

Tell the writer how much you love them for writing this.

If the writer has any RL issues or concerns, respond to them (condolences, best wishes, etc.).

Did the antagonist ever do something where you just wanted to punch him/her in the face?

Has this story ever been an escape for you?

Do you ever think of this story out in the real world?

Why do you think this is one of your favorite pieces?

Is there something you don't like and would like to change? Be sure this is constructive.

How did this chapter/piece make you feel?

Make a prediction about anything — a character, perhaps?

Do you like how the characters are developing?

Is there a line in this story that made you laugh out loud?

What emotions did you have while reading this? Did you feel angry, frustrated, awkward or sad?

Has there ever been a point in this story when you're on the brink of tears?

Do you feel that this author's specific writing style has contributed to your enjoyment of the piece?

Thank the author for taking the time to update in a very busy period in her life.

Do you have an idea that you wish to share?

Is there anything that confuses you and you wish for clarification?

Is there something in this story that you can't wait to be resolved?

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REVIEW/COMMENT TEMPLATES

Finally, I’d like to leave you all with some templates you can use. Of course, it’d be most personal and heartfelt for you to construct your own comments and reviews, but I understand not everyone feels comfortable doing so, and utilizing these templates to help get your thoughts across is certainly better than leaving no feedback at all! Edit whatever you’d like, use pieces, combine templates — it’s in your hands!

LOVE AND GRATITUDE

“Hi! I’m so thrilled to have found this story. I’ve been looking for a good [fandom] fic with a [character names] pairing for a long time now, and to see one of his quality just made my day! Your writing is [superb/detailed/professional/etc.], and your characterization [is honest/is spot-on/makes me weep with joy/etc.]. I am going to be following this with a very close eye. Thank you so much for gracing the world with your beautiful writing!”

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“I’m super curious about [character/plot/feature/etc.]! I feel like this is a concept that has been done before, but I’ve never seen it executed as effectively as you have! I am looking forward to reading more about [insert characters] and how they’ll react to [events].

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“[copy and paste quote from story]

This was my favorite line from the story. I found it so [funny/wholesome/particular/etc.]. You have such a good grasp on [character name/writing dialogue/development/etc.] Looking forward to more!

CHEERS AND CONDOLENCES

“I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a rough time because of [reasons]. I hope you know that I’m here to support you, and if you need to take a step back from writing for a little while, I completely understand. I always enjoy your work, and for the quality and joy you’re giving us, I think you should take your time and write only when you’re ready to enjoy the process. Please take care! <3 You are in my thoughts!”

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SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE

“Hi! I absolutely love that you’re writing for this [fandom]. I think you write [character name] very well, better than most interpretations I’ve come across! If I may, I’d like to discuss your most recent portrayal of [character name]. I see where you were coming from, but I think [he/she/they] may have been a little too [forward/angry/quiet/etc.] because [insert reasons]. What was your thought process behind this? Other that particular scene, I’ve been very pleased with your portrayal! ”

“First, I am so glad I found this fic. I am impressed by your writing capabilities and think you’re doing a wonderful job! I don’t know if you’re looking for any feedback on [xyz], but I have [experience/knowledge] on [xyz], so I thought I’d shed a bit of light. The only thing I noticed was [reasons] — in reality, [insert explanation]. I can give you a few sources [insert link(s)], if you’re interested in reading more. I am also happy to answer any questions for you! Please let me know how I can help! Like I said, though, aside from that just teeny detail, your writing really is superb. I love your [creativity/portrayal/writing style, etc.]! Can’t wait to read more!”

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Also posted on AO3.

[upslapmeal]

The Timeless Children

Here we have it. The Chibnall Masterplan.

ooh we’re getting a recap and everything

every time I hear the Master’s theme I'm reminded: a) how good it is b) how much I wish the companions had themes

we've already got a Borusa mention not even 3 min in

"I'm not too sure about weapons" 

Ryan having to choose between doing as the Doctor says or doing as she does

"who are you?" I knew the Master wasn’t secretly behind the whole cybermen plot

(though now I know how the plot went I wonder exactly how much he had planned and how much was just a happy coincidence for him)

this Yaz and Graham conversation <3

"it's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me" 

she’s so far from her days of being bullied and running away

I just wish.........I FELT it more

ok so the finding an abandoned child who was the first to regenerate is something I saw someone talking about ages ago so maybe.....the rest to what they were saying was true

(it was)

the child followed a similarish path to Brendan except he just healed after falling off the cliff rather than regenerate

I’m curious to see where his parallel life fits in

Ryan’s basketball skills!

"swish!"

"a gift from an admiring Master" ok what's he up to

"the child is you" and theeeere we go

right let's do this

"Yaz I can't get this hat off" love the idea of a cyberman’s head just.. being a hat

"I perform well in all tasks" me writing a job application

ah the death particle, the thing that can wipe out all life

let me just leave it in the middle of the floor rather than, I dunno, putting it in my pocket or something

"WHY WOULD THEY LIE" dude. it's the Time Lords.

"SHOW ME THE REST" she has officially snapped

I’m with you Master I’m enjoying finally getting to see Thirteen like this

oh so Brendan was just....an analogy for the Doctor

he doesn't exist

bit sad about that actually I wanted to find out about Brendan the mysterious Irish lad

these cybermen have dressed for the occasion!!

I love how the Master has made sure to decorate the cyber armour to keep it On Brand™

like yeah sure there’s the collars and everything but the actual patterned detailing on the armour itself? absolutely necessary attention to detail

"born from you, bred by me, how does that feel?" ooohh

lol Yaz just striding straight in there before they’d even finished asking who would go through the boundary first

Ruth Doctor!

ok on the one hand I like what she’s saying about how a past that the Doctor doesn’t remember has no impact on who the Doctor is now

this big revelation isn’t going to change anything fundamental about the character of the Doctor as we know them

but on the other hand we basically had the fam having this same conversation with the Doctor a few episodes ago about how her past doesn’t define her present

the big thing is when did the Doctor start referring to themself as the Doctor if they had their memories wiped and were reverted back to childhood between being Ruth and One

and then there's the whole police box TARDIS thing but I feel that can be handwaved fairly easily

time for a quick summary of the show to blow up the matrix

big heroic Doctor sacrifice time!

you mean even before going on a suicide mission the fam don’t even attempt to hug her???

love the lil toy cyberman glued to the bomb

like I know in-universe it’s an actual miniaturised cyberman

but it’s a toy cyberman

the Doctor: I cannot morally go through with the idea of lowering myself to the Master’s level, becoming death and wiping out all organic life on this planet...but I will let someone else do it if it means I can live

the Doctor stealing a (purple?) TARDIS and running away once again

well Gallifrey is well and truly wiped out this time

can't wait to see how the next showrunner magically brings it back somehow

and I can’t wait for the Master comes back next with no explanation

I mean that truly I hope there's absolutely zero explanation when they inevitably show up again

I kinda expected to see the Doctor consider not going back for the fam at all and keep them safe by letting them think she was dead

oh wow surprise Judoon

didn't know they could just teleport into the TARDIS like that

a 'what?!' cliffhanger is very Ten

So. The end of series 12. I have a fair bit I want to say about the characters but 2am of a worknight is not the time so for now I’ll focus on the twist. I’m glad it wasn’t making the Doctor special in some Cartmellian the Other way. Sure, it makes the Doctor a fundamental part of Time Lord society’s existence and biology but it was completely against her will, and even then when they wiped the Doctor’s mind and reverted them to childhood, the Doctor’s past had no role in shaping the character we got to know. As a twist it made sense from the point of view that is basically went Hey you know the Time Lords? Well they’re terrible. which checks out. The Doctor was special yes, but because they were a victim. That said, for something that is in-universe such a huge reveal, it doesn’t really have any consequences other than giving a convenient reason for not having to write in some way for the Doctor to have to get another regeneration cycle from the Time Lords if we ever get to Doctor 24. I guess the Doctor has moved from being functionally immortal to actually immortal (within the confines of what sort of injury/death allows regeneration) which could be something interesting though it’s not a huge change from a storytelling perspective. And then I guess there’s the fact that the Doctor isn’t actually from Gallifrey...ok maybe there are more consequences than I thought. But whatever people’s views on this episode, I think we can all give credit to Chibbs for certainly not playing it safe anymore, and I’m looking forward to the special (whenever we end up getting it).

[hookedontaronfics]

Honky Dancer - Chapter 9

Chapter title: Recovery and Reconciliation Read the previous installments here: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3  | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Mentions of an eating disorder, medical drama, subtle mentions of sex A/N: I know you all have been waiting to know the outcome of what happened after the cliffhanger I left with you last chapter. I truly apologize it took me so long to put this together, and I hope it lives up to all of your expectations. There’s not a lot of action in this, but there are a lot of emotions, so I hope you hang on for the ride. When things get dark, the people we love truly are the lights we keep fighting for. Always remember to be someone else’s light; it may save their life. X

Soft sheets, but not soft enough. Maybe the industrial-produced kind. A quiet whooshing noise. Dim light. The smell of antiseptic hanging heavy in the dry, static-filled air. When I first assumed consciousness, it hurt to open my eyes, so these were my first impressions of the world around me, from what I could sense. But while I could try to analyze the stimuli around me, I had very little sensation coming from my own body, and that concerned me more than anything. Of course, I was probably on strong painkillers, but the absence of pain made me feel no longer grounded. Instead, I just felt drained and lethargic, like it would take far too much effort to even lift my arm.

Where was I? What had happened? I fought through the mental fog clouding my thoughts as I tried to remember. We were filming, on set, of that I was certain. Flashes of dancing played behind my still-closed eyelids. I remembered how hot it felt that day, the shimmers of heat bending the air. I didn’t feel well, but I’d pushed through like the stubborn fool I was. I had… fainted? Collapsed? Given up? I wasn’t sure entirely, but now here I was, prone in a hospital bed and not sure what was going to happen next.

I groaned slightly and felt the need to move suddenly, shifting uncomfortably, slowly becoming more aware of the weight of tubes and wires snaking across my body. A low moan escaped me and then a voice asked “Juliette?”

I instantly popped my eyes open, the room a wash of white. I knew that voice, of course, but it wasn’t the one I’d been hoping to hear. “How are you feeling?” Markus asked concernedly.

“I’m stuck in a hospital bed, Markus. How do you think I feel? Like shit,” I said bitterly.

“Of course. Dumb question,” he said, not even blinking at my tone.

“Why are you even here?” I asked, staring at some point on the wall above his head. “And where is Taron?” I asked softly, despite myself.

“Your lover has been here already, but he couldn’t stay. He had obligations beyond you. He brought your phone and purse, they’re over there,” Markus sighed, running a hand through his hair. “But what happened to you, it concerns me too,” he said, not unkindly.

“Concerns you? Like you give a rat’s arse about me,” I said, angry at him, and angry at myself too. Angry at the world, really, but for what I couldn’t even define.

“It...affects me. Alright? I had a fucking personal stake in this whether I wanted it or not,” he said, his voice a bit choked up.

“What are you going on about, Markus?” I asked.

“The baby. Our baby. You … lost it,” he said, and I instantly felt my blood run cold.

“What?” I asked, struggling to sit up. 

“When they brought you to the hospital, you were dehydrated, and malnourished, and miscarrying. You lost the baby.”

No, no, it couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be real. I was still pregnant, I had to be.

“You didn’t take care of yourself, so you caused this. You killed our child,” he continued, his words turning sharp, ruthless, cutting deep. The pain that blossomed through me, no drug could touch.

“No,” I whispered, horrified at this new reality. A reality I wished I hadn’t woken up to. I felt sick to my stomach, hitting the call button for the nurse, certain I was going to puke in my own lap. The tears threatened at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to cry in front of Markus. He didn’t deserve my tears.

“You didn’t even care. You wanted me to get an abortion. How is this different? Why are you using this to hurt me?” I said, gasping for air, feeling like my lungs were seizing up in my chest.

“Oh, Juliette, it’s just simply what you deserve,” he said, those steely eyes of his as closed off as a mask. He delighted in my pain, a pain I couldn’t escape. I slowly smoothed my hands over my stomach, my hip bones protruding prominently, feeling empty in a way I had never known, not even in my darkest moments before.

“No,” I said again, feeling the grief compounding in my chest. I hadn’t known I was pregnant for very long, but that didn’t matter. The bond had been instant, the hope for this baby immense. I was its mother and now I had nothing - I would never hear its cry, I would never be able to nurse it, I would never sing it lullabies in the 3 a.m. dusk. There wouldn’t be belly laughs and first words, rounds of patty-cake and jars of baby food. There wouldn’t be tiny fingers and tiny toes to kiss, the sweet smell of milk breath, the discovery of new things. And I wouldn’t be able to experience those moments with Taron either. I felt a pang so deeply in my soul for him, an ache, a longing for him just to hold me in that moment. But there was distance between us now, and I didn’t know how he would respond to all of this either.

A nurse with a kind face and brown hair pulled tight in a ponytail swept into the room after knocking. “Glad to see you’re awake,” she smiled brightly at me, but I couldn’t return it. She seemed to notice my distress right away. “Oh honey, let’s make sure you’re more comfortable,” she said, checking all of the med levels on the IV machine before checking my vitals and sitting with me as I fought off the urge to puke, clutching a bucket to my chest. Markus was silent through all of this, scrolling through his phone like he hadn’t just caused me this torment.

“I’ll see if I can get the doctor in here shortly to talk to you. You’ve had a rough go of it but we’re going to get you back to normal, sweetie, I promise,” the nurse said kindly. While I tried to appreciate her kindness to me, it was hard to pull myself out of the depressive pit I was sinking into. I could feel the wave of hopelessness clutching at the edges of my psyche.

“Markus, could you leave me alone for a while? I need to rest,” I made sure to say in front of the nurse, hoping this would mean he’d have no choice but to leave.

“I can sit right here while you sleep,” he said, almost smugly, but that just made the panic rise in my chest. I could not be left alone with this man again.

“No, please, just go,” I said, clutching hard at the blankets.

“Perhaps it would be best if we give Juliette some space,” the nurse said, reading my distress and emphasizing the last word. She stood up and looked expectantly at Markus, who sighed and stood up himself after a beat of awkward silence, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.

“Good luck with everything,“ was all he said before striding out, and I felt both relief and also more alone than ever.

“Do we need to put a security alert out for him?” the nurse asked sympathetically, but I shook my head.

“Not necessary. He won’t be back. He’s my ex and, it ended painfully,” I said, wiping at my eyes quickly.

“He doesn’t seem like a very kind man,” the nurse observed. “You’re better off without him, honey.” After promising, again, to get a doctor in to visit me as quickly as she could and making sure I was otherwise comfortable, she left me with my thoughts, which were veering toward a dangerous place.

I finally had the space to let out the tears, crying so hard I knew I was leaving snot all over my pillow, but I didn’t have the capacity to care at the moment. Fat, hot tears rolled down my cheeks, unbidden, though I tried to keep the sobs that wracked my body as silent as possible. I could now place a finger on that empty feeling in my body; I was no longer pregnant, and I couldn’t hide from that harsh truth. The abyss of pain yawned wide in my chest, beckoning me into its darkness. I didn’t feel I had much to live for, and maybe non-existence would be better than this pain.

But then there was Taron, and if I had anything to keep fighting for, it was him. I couldn’t leave things the way they had been. I couldn’t allow my mess of a life to ruin his. This wasn’t how things should be. I sniffled slightly, trying to calm myself down. I’d spent my tears already, and now my head was throbbing and my chest hurt and my nose was congested, and I really didn’t feel any better. I saw a box of tissues on the nearby bedside table and grabbed one, wiping away my tears, my fingers brushing against a tube taped to the side of my face. I followed it to my nose, and realized, with a sickening shock, that I had been fitted with a nasogastric feeding tube; they were forcing nutrients into my starved body, and for some reason that made me angry. Who’s right was it to decide that?

But, rationally, that’s what had landed me in the hospital in the first place. That’s what had cost me my baby in the first place. They were trying to save my life, but was it worth it? That question would haunt me for a while.

I managed to doze off for a bit, exhausted by my emotions and my depleted body, but my sleep was restless, my dreams troubled. I woke to a very different presence in the room. “Taron.” I could barely make my voice work, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes already just to see him there.

He looked tired - no, exhausted, his hair a mess, probably stuck under a bald cap and wig all day, but there was only concern in his expression. Concern for me, but I’m not sure I deserved it. “Hey, I’m here now,” he said softly, reaching over and gently taking my hand in his, careful of the IV lines.

“Are you sure that you want to be?” I asked hesitantly, and Taron’s brow wrinkled like I was being ridiculous.

“Of course, why would I be anywhere else?” he asked softly, sweetly brushing my hair out of my face, his fingers coming to rest under my chin. “Seeing you fall put some things in perspective. I don’t want to hold onto my anger any more. So those things that happened before, they don’t matter to me.”

“But they should, Taron. They should. I lied to you, about a lot of things. I was scared, yes, but that doesn’t excuse it,” I replied weakly.

“And I’ve forgiven you, and it’s as simple as that. People say they forgive each other all the time but it’s not real if you still hold a grudge, if you still hold it against them. Real forgiveness takes trust and courage. All I know is that losing you isn’t an option for me. So first, we focus on your recovery. Then, we can work on the rest of it. Okay?” he said gently. I found it hard to meet his beautiful peridot gaze.

“But… You shouldn’t be with a baby killer, you’re too good for that,” I said resentfully.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“I lost the baby. Markus said it was all my fault,” I whispered.

“Markus doesn’t know shit,” Taron replied instantly. “We both know he’s an idiot, and he doesn’t know the situation at all, so don’t you dare believe a word he says. I spoke with the doctor myself. The baby had a genetic defect, Juliette. It was never going to survive. Maybe the malnourishment contributed to this all happening at the same time, but love, it wasn’t meant to survive. You didn’t do this, okay? It’s sad, and it’s awful, and we’re going to mourn it, but please don’t take on that guilt as yours. It’s not,” he whispered, his eyes growing watery too. He paused to wipe quickly at his eyes. “I had hopes for this too, you know. I was excited for what could be, for us. I’m not going to let you feel alone in this. The baby is gone, yes, but you are still here, and you are what I have to focus on. I need you to get better.”

“I just don’t know if I can,” I said, closing my eyes and sighing heavily.

“What, get better?” he asked, knitting his brows together again.

“Move forward. I’m not strong enough. I’m not sure I deserve anything more.”

“Hey,” he said, “that’s not true. You’re one of the strongest people I know, next to maybe my mam,” he added with a cute laugh. “I’m sure right now it doesn’t feel that way, but I know you. I see you. It’s going to take time and it’s going to take as many steps back as you take forward, but you can move forward, and you do deserve to be happy again. It’s painful now, yes, but not impossible. You have so much to look forward to still. You have me.”

I opened my eyes again and gazed at him for a moment, feelings tumbling and crashing through me, the depression and grief clashing with the hope and love I felt for Taron. That was definitely something I think we took for granted in life; that emotions weren’t simple, black or white. They didn’t come to us one at a time, perfectly lined up so we could deal with each one in its time. No, life was much more complex than that, and oftentimes we were battered in a sea of emotion, in a constant battle of contradiction. How did anyone ever figure themselves out?

“One day at a time, Juliette. I just need you to fight for you right now,” he continued after watching me wrestle with my inner turmoil.

I nodded and closed my eyes again. “Just so tired,” I murmured softly.

“You should sleep. I’ll be right here,” he said, pulling the blankets up around me again. I couldn’t help but smile over his tenderness, something he still wished to bestow upon me despite everything we’d been through. I felt myself slowly sliding toward sleep again, and gratefully surrendered. 

I wasn’t asleep for long, though, as a doctor arrived finally to advise me of my condition. He explained some of the obvious, corroborating what Taron had told me about my miscarriage, and also some of the less obvious problems, the dehydration and malnutrition that had caused my collapse and an acute kidney infection resulting from it, which I was now on heavy antibiotics for, and a concussion from hitting my head on the concrete road. My bloodwork levels were incredibly out of sync, and my body had been crashing hard when they rushed me into the ER, which was likely why I felt like shit now, lethargic and headachey and exhausted. I was also assigned a therapist, whom I was going to have to have consultations with over acute anorexia nervosa and depression. In other words, I was a complete and utter mess.

But somehow even worse than all of that was the fact that I’d managed to sprain my ankle too when I’d fallen. My leg was bound in a heavy plastic boot, which I discovered when I hastily yanked the covers back. I gasped and shook my head in disbelief; this directly threatened my livelihood and I didn’t know how I was going to cope.

I tried to not have a meltdown in front of the doctor and nurse and Taron, but I could feel it clawing at my brain. I grabbed my phone to try and distract myself, surprised by the many text messages from other dancers and my friends who knew what had happened, at least. I tried to respond to those as best I could after the doctor and nurse had excused themselves. I had several voice messages from Zayn and my mother, and I realized I needed to let them know I was going to be okay. The production, of course, had already contacted them, as was protocol in an emergency situation. But to hear from me would probably be good.

Just as I was dialing my mum’s number, though, a knock came on the door and she popped her head in. “Mum!” I nearly cried, struggling to sit up and nearly getting knocked back into the pillows by her embrace.

“Juliette, my darling, darling girl,” she said into my hair, running her fingers through it before holding me out at arms length and looking at me. “Don’t you ever, ever do that to me again. You scared me half to death. I had no idea you were so sick,” she said, tears running down her face. “Why didn’t you talk to me, honey? I could have helped you, I could have…” she said, her words cut off by her sobs.

“Oh god, mum,” I said, also tearing up and trying to hug her again. “Mum, I’m fine. I’m going to be okay. I promise,” I said, my voice breaking slightly.

“I know, honey. But I feel like I should have seen it. I should have noticed you were hurting,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed, careful of my leg, which was resting on a pillow now.

“Mum, I hid it from everyone that ever loved me. I’m still sick, you know... in here,” I said, pointing at my head. “But I have people in my life worth fighting for, and I know that. Clara, you … Taron…” I smiled over at him, caught up in the emotion I saw there in his face. “It’ll be alright,” I whispered softly, finally laying back into the pillows, already worn out but happy to have my mum there.

We talked quietly for a while, and I’m pretty sure I went in and out of sleep, at least until the nurse came back to check my vitals and suggested I should eat something. I had no desire to eat but knew this was a major test I needed to get over if I was ever to get this damnable tube out of my nose. So I would have to pretend until it was no longer pretend, until my brain didn’t see food as the enemy. I ordered something off the menu that sounded remotely palatable, but when it arrived even the smell made me want to throw up.

Still, with my mum and Taron there to support me, I picked up the applesauce and slowly peeled back the lid. “You can do this, Juliette. You need to do this,” Taron said, watching me carefully, a supportive hand on my knee. My hand shook slightly as I picked up the spoon and dipped it into the applesauce, staring at it for probably uncomfortably long before finally putting the bite of applesauce in my mouth. It tasted okay, and my stomach even gave a small rumble, realizing, even if my brain didn’t, that I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours.

I managed to swallow that first bite, and then it was like something inside my brain snapped, and I wolfed down the rest of the applesauce without another thought. I was hungry, absolutely starving, and no matter how much I worried about calories and being fat, I couldn’t deny the almost-nauseous pain in my stomach any longer. Soon after that applesauce, I dug into the other food on the tray, eating greedily and not seeing the looks my mum and Taron were exchanging, words being said without a voice.

“I need to pee,” I finally spoke up, pushing the food tray away from me.

“I’ll call the nurse,” my mum said, reaching for the button.

“No, I’ve got it,” I grumbled slightly, peeling off the covers and awkwardly swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

“I think we should get some help, babe,” Taron said hesitantly, instantly going to support me, as I was a bit precarious on the edge of the bed. A wave of dizziness passed over me, likely a result of my concussion, but I wasn’t willing to let that win.

“I have to try,” I said, gripping the bed railing tightly and slowly lowering my feet to the ground, the boot making a clunk on the cold tiled floor. I winced slightly, aware that my ass, clad in a massive pair of mesh granny panties to absorb the blood from my miscarriage, was open to the world in the starchy hospital gown, but my bladder was insistent. My mum carefully unplugged the IV from the wall so we could wheel the tower into the bathroom, and I carefully shifted my weight into my feet. Despite the support the boot gave, a sharp crack of pain ran up my leg, making me cry out and reach for whatever was nearby; thankfully, that was Taron, and he kept me from falling to the floor.

“I think we should have waited for help,” he said, as he clutched me tightly to his chest, helping me hobble to the bathroom before I had an accident on the floor. I had to admit he was probably right, as I sat there on the toilet, groaning silently as I relieved myself. Taron leaned in the doorway, his soft, caring, gentle eyes taking me in. He wanted to fix this all for me, I knew, but he couldn’t.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, if I can’t dance,” I whispered softly, blinking in the harsh fluorescent light of the bathroom. “I’ll lose Rocketman, and my classes at the Academy, and then what am I? I’ve defined my life by dance.”

“I think right now is not the time to worry about the what ifs to come. You have a road of recovery ahead of you, and you are more important than any career. Besides that, most of the major dance numbers are already done, and you if you focus all of your energy on getting better, maybe you’ll be back in time for Bennie. But regardless of that, the most important thing is you right now. Your career can, and will, wait for you. You’re more than just a dancer to me, you know,” he said with a small smile. “You’re my girl, and I love you.”

His words hit me straight in the chest, and I cried for what felt like the 80th time that day. There I was, sobbing into a wad of tissue paper, goosebumps on my arms because it was cold, propped on the toilet and losing it over everything; it was not my finest moment, but no one was there to make me feel guilty over it either.

My mum had ended up calling the nurse, and she’d brought some crutches for me too, because I wasn’t supposed to put any weight on my leg for a while. After I managed to get myself sorted out, I hobbled back to the bed, and gratefully crawled in, exhausted by even just going to the bathroom. I really had done myself in, and it saddened me. I didn’t want to need help doing even basic things; I wanted to tell myself to get over it, to stop being so weak, but my body didn’t have a choice. I’d abused it, and now I was paying the price.

My head had started to throb by now, and my body ached everywhere. I was due for more painkillers, though, so the nurse changed out my IV bags so I could rest a little easier. She suggested my company give me time to rest, but I didn’t want Taron or my mum to leave just yet.

I asked after Troy, but my mom reassured me that my dog was with Madison and would be just fine. She had also contacted the Academy to let them know of my situation, and they had been nothing but concerned and understanding, which gave me a little bit of relief. Another knock on the door turned out to be Zayn, holding a bouquet of flowers, and Clara, who instantly ran over to me and launched herself into the bed. “Mummy!” she squealed as she flounced down beside me.

“Clara, be careful!” my mum chided, but I was happy to pull my daughter into my arms and hug her tightly.

“Oh, my Clara Bean,” I said, kissing her on the top of her head and smelling the sweet fragrance of the strawberry shampoo still lingering in her hair.

“We came as soon as we could,” Zayn said, setting the vase on the bedside table and kissing me lightly on the forehead.

“Thank you, those are beautiful,” I smiled.

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

“Not great at the moment, but I’ll be okay,” I replied, watching as Zayn and Taron shook hands and greeted each other with pats on the shoulder. Zayn really had come a long way in just the past few months, I had to give him that.

We talked for a bit but the heavy arm of sleep was beckoning to me like a warm, cozy blanket, and I couldn’t fight it off any longer. I’m sure at some point they all figured out I had dropped off, and the next time I woke up, it was quite late and I was alone in the dark room. There was a note on the bedside table for me, scribbled in Taron’s handwriting, promising he’d stop by in the morning before going to set; I couldn’t begrudge him wanting to shower and actually get a good night’s sleep. My body was on fire, but I hesitated to hit the call button, figuring this pain was a sort of penance to be paid for all the wrong I’d done in my life.

I wasn’t a bad person, no, I didn’t believe that. Deep down, I’d always had good intentions. I loved the people around me, but when you’re a broken person, the way you love is broken too. And I knew Taron saw that, and understood that, even more than me. He was patient and kind in ways I didn’t deserve, but he gave that to me anyways. The only way I could begin to make amends, to try and fix the pain I’d caused him, was to try and love him the best I could. And that started with me, with fixing myself. I decided, then and there, that no matter how painful it would be, I would let the therapist dig deep, deeper than I’d ever let myself go, into the places I’d long ago sewn shut, the things I’d tried to forget. If I was ever going to heal, I needed to discover how deep the wounds were, and forgive every single person in my life that had caused that pain, and apologize to the little girl I was who lost her innocence long ago.

I slept fitfully for a while, waking up from troubled dreams, dreams full of memories of my father before he left, when he was drunk all the time and shouting and breaking things, scaring my mum and me, the times I hid in the bathroom cabinets, clutching my stuffed patchwork bunny until my mum would tearfully come find me, long after dad had passed out on the couch.

I’m pretty sure the nurse gave me more painkillers at some point in the night, because I woke from a deep, dreamless sleep the next morning to Taron’s sweet kisses peppering my face. “Morning, love,” he said with that adorable boyish grin of his. I smiled, happy at least to see him freshly showered and awake. I still felt exhausted, but that was probably how it would be for a while, until I recovered some more.

“G’morning,” I murmured softly, trying to shake the sleep out of my eyes. I had a dull headache but otherwise felt a little better than the day before. I had no idea when I’d be able to leave; there were more tests to be done before being discharged would even be considered. I giggled when Taron barged his way onto the bed, scooting me over gently, ever-careful of my tubes and wires. He cradled me in his arms, and I was all too happy to lay my head on his chest, hearing his heart beating.

“I think this might be against hospital protocol,” I said, actually laughing.

“Fuck the protocol. I’ve got this hot babe in my arms, so I think I might need treated too, for heatstroke,” he smirked.

“What? That doesn’t even make sense, T!” I giggled, but he didn’t care if it was stupid, he was just happy to see me smiling and laughing again. I was even hungry in the morning, so I ordered eggs and fresh fruit and Taron sat with me while I ate, finishing off my toast when I didn’t touch it.

He hated having to leave me but I didn’t mind so much, just grateful that he wanted to be there with me at all. “Go on, go be Elton and be great at it,” I smiled. “You know where I’ll be,” I smiled as he left a sticky jam kiss on my cheek.

“Of course. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” And with a wave, he was gone, but I didn’t have very much time to be bored. After posting something to social media and responding to more texts and chat messages, I had another steady stream of visitors, Leah and Pietre and Dennis included, and several other dancers I had come to call friends. I was touched by the outpouring of love and support. My mum visited again, grateful to see me in better spirits than the day before. And of course Madison came, bringing a massive bouquet that was so large it took up an entire corner of the room and perfumed the air with its floral fragrance.

“You’re ridiculous,” I said, but couldn’t help but laugh. She painted my nails while chatting about all the drama I was missing at the Academy, and if I closed my eyes I could very nearly pretend we were just sitting on my couch with wine and containers of Chinese takeout spread out before us. It made me feel normal, and not just like the “sick girl.” She even made me promise that I’d get better or she’d kick my ballerina ass, and I was grateful she didn’t pity me because pity wouldn’t get me through this.

So between visits and further medical tests, mostly to rule out any other issues, the day passed on quickly, and I received some good news by the evening. The doctor determined that come morning I could be sent home, where they were certain I’d be more comfortable, with one caveat; I had to keep the feeding tube for a few more weeks at best, until I could prove I was no longer a danger to myself. But I had been clear to the therapist that I was aware of my shortcomings, the control issues and painful past, the things that drove me to try and control my food intake in the first place. I wanted to get better, and that was crucial; you couldn’t make someone change if they were unwilling to do so. And I genuinely wanted to do better, even if trying to convince myself that my worth was more than my waistline would be an uphill battle.

Taron, of course, did his best to convince me I should hole up in his house with him, where he could keep a closer eye on me, and I didn’t have the energy to argue. So the following morning, after being instructed on how to prepare the feeding pump and bags, and getting me back into my real clothes, I happily signed the papers for dismissal. There would of course be follow-ups and therapist appointments, but this small step in my recovery was important. My mum had promised to keep an eye on my house for a while, and after stopping by to collect more clothes and toiletries and my phone charger and anything else that might be useful, Taron got me settled in on his couch with free reign of his Netflix. It wasn’t a bad arrangement, and I felt much better after I finally got a proper bath, with only a little help from Taron getting in and out of the tub with my bum leg.

While he was away filming, I decided I wasn’t just going to be this invalid in need of his total care, so after hobbling to the kitchen and snooping around in his fridge, I decided to make a curry for when he came home. It took a while to figure out a rhythm with the crutches, but eventually I had a skillet full of lean beef and green curry simmering away and a pot of rice steaming too. I’d just set out bowls and a basket of naan bread on the table when Taron came home again, surprised, of course, by my surprise.

“What is this, babe! You didn’t have to. I’m supposed to spoil you, you know,” he grinned.

“I dunno, I wanted to,” I said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me gently. “You didn’t have to do any of this for me. You don’t have to earn your way back into my good graces,” he said, gently tipping my face up to look at him.

“I want to give back. I feel like all I do is take and take, and all I’ve done is manage to hurt you. I want this to be an equal relationship,” I tried to explain.

“I don’t think you take and take from me and give nothing back. You make me happy, Juliette. You make me laugh. You support what I do, and you believe in me. You’re not here for my money or good looks,” he said sweetly.

“Well…maybe the good looks,” I teased lightly, making him chuckle.

“Giving back to me doesn’t have to be tangible goods. I don’t operate in black and white like that. You give back simply by being perfectly imperfect you.”

“Yeah, but you are perfectly perfect, so I feel inadequate all the time.”

“What? I’m not perfect. God… I have my flaws. I’ve been jealous, and angry, and bitter over things. I’ve been distant and cold to you too. I drink too much and don’t get enough sleep and sometimes let my house go to shit. I’m not perfect, I just try. I make the effort. It’s high time you had someone in your life making that effort for you.”

“You say such sweet things to me,” I replied softly, somehow struggling to comprehend he was saying these words to me.

“Well I mean them, so get used to it. You need to get used to being happy. Now, shall we eat this curry before it gets cold?”

“Yeah, of course,” I said lightly, both of us tucking into our bowls. I even managed to eat a few strips of naan, and considered it a victory; a small one, but life had to be lived by the small victories sometimes. We finished our food, had a lazy evening cuddling on the couch with a film we didn’t spend much time actually watching, and rather than waking me after I unintentionally dozed off, Taron carried me to bed.

Or at least I assumed that’s what happened, because I woke up some time in the night, needing to use the bathroom, Taron snoring softly next to me. As I watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling in the darkness, shadows shifting over his face, I realized how much I had truly missed him. How much I needed him. How much I wanted him.

An uncomfortable throbbing need woke up in my groin and I groaned slightly. My body could be a real asshole sometimes. I made myself get out of bed to prevent myself from waking Taron from his slumber, though I’m quite certain he probably wouldn’t have minded if I chose to have my way with him. I also just wasn’t in any shape to have sex at the moment, still bleeding and sore down there anyway. At least I wasn’t totally dead inside, I thought ruefully as I strapped myself back into my boot and stomped as quietly as I could to the bathroom, cringing every time the boot scraped over the wooden floor. I didn’t have to sleep in the thing, but I really couldn’t walk without it at the moment either.

After taking care of my needs I stared at myself in the mirror, at my pale face and rumpled hair and dull eyes, and sighed. I had no idea how Taron still found me attractive at all. But I could be that girl again, if I worked hard enough at it.

I returned to the bed and when I laid back down Taron rolled over and nuzzled into my neck. “Where’d you go?” he murmured, kissing my neck sweetly.

“I had to pee,” I laughed, shrugging at how easy it was to just announce that.

“Well, I hope it was a good trip then,” he giggled, sleep still thick in his voice.

“Um, yeah, it was adequate,” I joked back, running my fingers through his soft, fluffy hair. The movie had yet to hack his hair up but I knew that was coming very soon.

“Glad my facilities are up to your standards,” he snickered back. “God I love you,” he added, his breath hot on my neck and not helping the state of my arousal.

“I know,” I smiled, as he continued to kiss my neck, his fingers slowly working their way under my camisole, caressing the skin of my stomach. “I can’t, you know, not yet,” I whispered, and he sighed softly, light spilling in from between the blind slats reflecting in the deep orbs of his eyes.

“You should get some sleep,” he said, withdrawing his hand and making me sigh shakily.

“I want you, I just, my body,” I tried to explain, not very well, squeezing my eyes shut.

“It’s okay,” he grinned, kissing the tip of my nose cutely. “I know,” he said in return, pulling the blankets around me and humming softly as he settled in to fall asleep once more, his arm draped sweetly over me.

This was what I wanted the rest of my life to look like, this moment, a beautiful man beside me who stole my breath away, who didn’t judge me for my failings, who adored me and loved me with a love so pure I didn’t always know how to carry it. If there was anything to fight for, I knew it was a future with him.

Will Juliette continue to fight for herself, and for a future with Taron? Or will she let ghosts of her past haunt her? Keep reading to find out - Chapter 10, Coming Soon!

[caitsbooks]

THE QUEEN OF NOTHING (THE FOLK OF THE AIR #3) BY HOLLY BLACK – DID IT SURVIVE THE HYPE? (REVIEW)

This Review Will Contain Spoilers for The Cruel Prince and The Wicked King, but there will be NO SPOILERS for The Queen of Nothing. I’m not cruel.

Overall: 5/5 Stars Characters: 5/5 Setting: 5/5 Writing: 5/5 Plot and Themes: 5/5 Awesomeness Factor: 5/5 Review in a Nutshell: Listen, I’m trash for this series. The Queen of Nothing had a lot to live up to, but it did. It reminded me why this series is so hyped, it proved it deserves every bit of it.

“Let me be feared and never again afraid.”

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// Content Warning: Violence, Death, Assault, Child Abuse/Neglect, War Themes, Murder //

Release Date: 11/19/2019 Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers Page Count: 309 Premise:

The Wicked King left off with the worst possible cliffhanger ending, with a plot twist I never saw coming. The Queen of Nothing takes place not too long after that ending- Jude has created a life for herself in the mortal world after being exiled, doing odd jobs for other Folk and living with Vivi and Oak. When her sister Taryn returns from Elfhame with shocking news, Jude must delve back into the world of courtly politics and war to help her, even if it means facing the man who betrayed her, the High King Cardan Greenbriar.

“Two paths are before me, but only one leads to victory.”

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Read more for all of my thoughts on the conclusion to The Folk of the Air series, or, check out the full review over on my blog!!

[ Related: The Wicked King by Holly Black (ARC Review) ]

Follow Me Here: Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter  || Reviews

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“We have lived in our armor for so long, you and I. And now I am not sure if either of us knows how to remove it.”

WRITING & SETTING

Holly Black’s writing style is just amazing. Her writing perfectly balancing poignancy and thought-provoking topics with fun quips and just amazingly relatable moments. Jude is of both the mortal world and the magical world- being a mortal raised in Elfhame- and you can get that feeling just through Holly Black’s writing. It feels both otherworldly and magical while being full of purely human aspects.

Meanwhile, the setting really makes this series stand out. Holly Black truly is the queen of the Fae. She has crafted a beautifully intricate world parallel to ours, with such great depth and detail, and grounded in fascinating mythology and history. While The Queen of Nothing doesn’t expand on the world and magic quite as much as previous books have, it really does place a spotlight on it.

“Magic is seldom so convenient as to conform to our preferences.”

PLOT

I won’t lie- some of this book feels a little rushed. That’s honestly a complaint I have with the series as a whole. Each book could be much longer than they are. The Queen of Nothing comes in at just barely over 300 pages, and it has a lot to wrap up. That said, it does succeed. While I did wish we could have a little more time to sit with some moments, the fast pace did make this book very bingeable and absolutely impossible to put down.

This book also has a few twists thrown in, but they definitely weren’t quite as surprising as the twists in previous books. There was maybe one that really took me by surprise, but the rest were fairly predictable if you are highly invested with this series and as obsessed as I am. That said, this book is still a great conclusion. It ties up loose ends really well, but it definitely wasn’t as… surprising as I expected. I don’t know how else to say it without spoilers. It just didn’t end in a way I thought the series would end.

“If you’re looking for reasons why he disappointed you, by all accounts, Prince Cardan was a disappointment from the beginning.”

mood.

CHARACTERS

The characters are where The Folk of the Air series really does shine. Every aspect of this series is fantastic, don’t get me wrong, but it’s the characters that add the heart and brutality to the series. Jude is such a strong and interesting protagonist. This book puts her through a lot, and we see sides of her that were hinted at in previous books fully explored. I reread the first two books in preparation for this one and damn, her growth is astonishing. Also, Cardan. I love Cardan so much. He’s a drunk idiot sometimes, but other times, he is just plain incredible. We definitely see that incredible side of him a lot in this book. It’s truly amazing for a character to be so understood by the reader while also still being able to surprise them.

However, I don’t want to go too much into Cardan right now because, well, spoilers. Let’s talk about some of our other characters- Vivi and Heather are my loves and I would love an entire book just about them. Taryn didn’t really leave that much of an impression on me in this book beyond the first fifty pages, but she definitely made a mark in those pages. And finally, Madoc. Madoc is such a captivating character- I always think I have him pinned down but then he does something to completely change my perspective of him. This book continues to reveal sides of him I both expected yet didn’t and I absolutely loved it.

“I know how to drive a knife through my own hand. I know how to hate and be hated. And I know how to win the day, provided I am willing to sacrifice everything good in me for it.”

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[ Related: The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (ARC Review) ]

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CONCLUSION

Pros- Great characters, solid conclusion, I love this world Cons- A little rushed. I’m also just bitter that this series is over. What am I supposed to obsess over now??? Overall- 5/5 stars. This book series will forever have a hold on my heart, and The Queen of Nothing reminded me of every reason why. This book is a fantastic conclusion to a series I’ll love for the rest of my life.

“Let me have everything I ever wanted, everything I ever dreamed, and eternal misery along with it. Let me live on with an ice shard through my” heart.

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IF YOU LIKED THE QUEEN OF NOTHING, I’D RECOMMEND:

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson – (Review)

Wicked Saints (Something Dark and Holy #1) by Emily A. Duncan – (Review)

The Caged Queen (Iskari #2) by Kristen Ciccarelli – (Review + Giveaway)

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Have you read The Queen of Nothing yet? What did you think?

Also, what are your thoughts on the cover? After reading, I get all the symbolism, but I’m still not really a fan of it (especially the Barnes and Noble edition- oh god please don’t make me look at it).

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Add To Your Goodreads Shelf Purchase From: Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Indiebound

Looking for more reviews & other bookish nonsense? Follow Me Here: Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter  || Reviews

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BONUS! MORE QUOTES THAT I LOVE

“‘Mortals are fragile,’ I say. ‘Not you,’ he says in a way that sounds a little like a lament. ‘You never break.’”

“By you, I am forever undone.”

“It really is a magical word: no. You say whatever bullshit you want and I just say no.”

“I think of his riddle. How do people like us take off our armor? One piece at a time.”

“My sweet nemesis, how glad I am that you returned.”

“That boy is your weakness.”

“All power is cursed. The most terrible among us will do anything to get it, and those who’d wield power best don’t want it thrust upon them. But that doesn’t mean they can avoid their responsibilities forever.”

“There is no banquet too abundant for a starving man.”

“Imagine if, in the mortal world, a lawyer passed the bar by killing another lawyer.”

“‘I tried to kill you,’ she reminds me. ‘You’ve described pretty much every important relationship in my life.’”

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 1x22 Chapter Twenty Two

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) The final episode of the season and I’ve got two predictions: one, the baby will be born, and two, Jane will find herself torn between Michael and Rafael yet again. I really hope the show has some awesome plot twist and that it proves me wrong regarding number two, because if that’s the case… I’m kind of done.

2) I really liked the flashback of Jane’s birth. It was really sweet to see young Xiomara asking her mom for support. Something I haven’t mentioned before is the fact that they’ve done an amazing job casting the young versions of the characters. Both Xiomara’s and Jane’s younger selves bear a striking resemblance to their older counterparts.

3) I hope Jane doesn’t turn into the girl who cried wolf with her whole pretending-to-go-into-labor prank…

4) OMFG Jane and Rafael are still talking about the break-up and I swear to god I’m this close to ripping the skin off my face…

5) It’s kind of cute how much Xiomara and Rogelio ship Jane and Michael, though…

6) If Rafael could make me dislike him a tad more, it was by using Petra’s feelings for him to manipulate her into selling her shares. Congratulations, mission accomplished, asshole.

7) So, here the baby comes…

8) Never mind, false alarm. Although for a minute I thought Michael would be by her side while she gave birth and Rafael would be screwing Petra or screwing her over or both.

9) I’m so doooooooone

10) Ugh, Rafael is asking her to get back together and I’m supposed to be emotionally invested in their relationship but I’m just frustratingly annoyed by the whole thing. I can’t put up with this anymore. If season 2 continues to be like this I think I’ll be done. The whole love story is such a big part of the show but it’s been so poorly handled and so inconsistently written that I don’t seem to care what happens with Jane, Rafael, or Michael. Rogelio and Xiomara are the reason I’m still here, tbh.

Well, at least Jane kind of told him to fuck off, so that’s something. Of course, there’s still ¾ of the episode left…

11) And of course, the next morning Michael sort of gives her an ultimatum. I gotta give it to him, though, he seems to be pretty honest when he says he doesn’t want Jane to be with him just because he’s the safe, familiar choice.

12) And Nadine’s back…

13) Jane is going to think the real contractions are the Braxton Hicks contractions, right? Is she going to have her water break during her interview?

14) I’m predicting a Sin Rostro cliffhanger… will we see her new face? Will she be Luisa’s new girlfriend? I still think she is…

15) Is Jane going to have the baby on the fucking bus?

16) Oh, okay, they’re taking her to the hospital, it’s like a Birth Party Bus or something…

17) Awww, it’s really sweet that she found some peace of mind in her dad…

18) They made it look as if Rogelio got mad at Xiomara for missing the show in order to go be with Jane, but I think he’s probably angry she didn’t let him know about Jane going into labor earlier or assuming he wouldn’t care about it… I hope my fave doesn’t disappoint me. I think he’ll get a private plane or something so that both of them can be with Jane.

19) Bless you Rogelio, you’re the one thing in this show that never disappoints me!

XIOMARA: I know you're upset I'm missing the show.

ROGELIO: That is not why I'm upset, Xiomara. And the fact that you don't know why I'm upset makes me doubly upset.

XIOMARA: What are you talking about?

ROGELIO: I'm talking about how my daughter is about to give birth, but you assume I would have no interest in flying home to be there.

XIOMARA: You would want to come back?

ROGELIO: Of course I'm coming back. I already bought my own ticket. Premium first class, of course.

I’m sure he’s also bought a ticket for Xiomara.

20) Rafael keeps flip-flopping how he feels and what he thinks to suit the plot, doesn’t he?

RAFAEL: So I didn't go to the meeting. And they sold the company.

JANE: Your dad's company?

RAFAEL: Yeah. And I'm glad, because somehow with my mom being so awful, I started to idolize him. What you were saying before was right. I don't want his life. He wasn't a good dad. I don't want to be anything like him. And I won't be. And I just want you to know that.

Like, they haven’t shown any significant event that led him to this realization? Just as quickly as he made the decision that his father was a good parent he is now saying the opposite, which also mirrors the way he’s been about his relationship with Jane. One day he wants to leave her for the greater good and the next he wants to get her back. It’s so annoying and immature, and I hope Jane doesn’t fall for this.

The worst thing is that I don’t know if this just a character trait of his or if it’s the writers writing his character inconsistently because they don’t know what to do with him or something.

21) Also, I don’t understand how getting the middle name is getting the short end of the stick? In my country, at least, it’s the second last name that gets dropped – so their baby would usually get called Nina Solano. Is it the other way in America?

22) Aww, this is the sweetest crappy gift ever…

23) Are they going to get drunk and miss the flight?

24) ROGELIO HAS HIS OWN ALARM SONG!

Also, they did oversleep. But they haven’t missed the plane. Huh.

25) Second theory. Nadine is dead and “Nadine” is actually Sin Rostro.

26) Now, this…

This is what I love about this show. The amazing, loving bond among these three women.

27) It’s a boy!

28) Mateo Gloriano Rogelio Solano Villanueva? REALLY? Why would you do that to your child?!

29) Uh-oh. Petra was coming to tell Rafael some good news when she overheard him talking about how he was manipulating her. Big mistake, Raf.

30) Michael keeps proving to be smarter than he looks. Okay. So he set Nadine up and bugged her phone so that they can track her if or when she goes back to Sin Rostro.

31) What the fuck is Petra going to do with Rafael’s sample?

Can the women in this show stop going after this dude’s semen? He ain’t all that.

32) ROGELIO AND XIOMARA GOT MARRIED!!!!

BY A CHER IMPERSONATOR!!

33) I knew this bitch was up to something…

But what would Rose want to do with Jane and Rafael’s baby?

That was a weird plot twist. Not exactly what I was expecting, and I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m just confused.

34) So that’s a wrap for season 1! I’d really like for you to ask me some questions or send me some comments about this season. If you’ve been reading my recaps, you know what I liked and what I found excruciatingly annoying, but maybe you’ve felt I haven’t touched upon things you’d like me to address, so hit the ask box!

35) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[raspberryparker]

Hi!! So can I just say how much in love I am with your blog? My theme was very old so I updated it thanks to your help! That really means a lot to me and your fic recs are always so spot on for me! I also write a Tom Holland x Reader fanfic named "Starstruck on the Red Carpet" and it honestly would be like a dream come true to hear your opinions&thoughts on it. Thank you so much!!

Hello my love! First of all, thank you so much for your lovely and kind words! I’m so glad you find my recs helpful and it’s great that I was able to help you with your theme (which is gorgeous, by the way. Nice job).

I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this ask but I wanted to read the entire fic and the sequel before I did so you got my full thoughts on it, so here we go! (It’s incredibly long and for that I’m sorry.)

In terms of storytelling and plot, I loved it! I think you did great with the conflict, the main plot and the sub plot/sub conflict(s), and the progression of the story as a whole. I really enjoyed the whole Cinderella thing and the way you spun it. I don’t think I’ve read a Cinderella story like that before so you’re definitely original, but I also enjoyed how that wasn’t the main point of the story and how it grew from there. Also, you’re really good at staying in character for the actors that you were writing for. It’s always important to be able to picture them saying what you’ve written if you’re writing someone who actually exists, and during the after-party scenes, I definitely could.I also really loved your OC’s. Blake made a really good point of conflict that enhanced the story in a great way, and Elijah just made me really happy, as did Nathalie. All good stories need an equally good cast of supporting characters and you executed it really well, so good job!That last part of the final chapter of the sequel was both funny and loving, and it’s hands down my favourite chapter. I always love when things come together, and the whole dating thing made me laugh out loud.The only criticism I have is that of structure, which every writer has struggled with at some point or continues to struggle with. I know I sure as Hell have. I’ve been writing fanfic since I was 12 and I’m 18 now. I’ve written a lot and I’ve read a lot and now that I’m an English major in university, I know what works and what doesn’t to keep people reading.Firstly, it would be so much easier on the reader and keep them engaged in the story regardless of what the story even is if you adjusted the way you structure paragraphs first and foremost. I noticed this especially in the first few chapters of your fic but less and less as I read on (Meaning you’ve improved on your own! Which is amazing!) but it was still quite choppy and hard to grasp what was happening, especially with dialogue. I don’t want to say there are “rules” for paragraph structure for fics, because fanfic is technically fanart and art is subjective, but there are guidelines to follow when you’re writing for school, for work, or professionally. These are in place because it makes your work flow better and makes it easier to read and take in. Some of these include making a new paragraph every time someone new speaks, every time the “camera angle” changes, when you’re starting a new idea, etc. It’s incredibly daunting to see a huge block of text instead of the same text broken down into smaller paragraphs. Seeing one big page of words makes people not want to read it. It’s harsh, like judging books by their covers rather than content, but it’s the truth and everyone is guilty of this whether they know it or not.Something you tend to do a lot is have multiple people (up to three or four at some points) talking during the same paragraph. When this happens, it’s easy for the reader to lose track of who is talking and what’s happening and often leads to them being confused and having to reread the paragraph just to know what’s going on. Fixing this would take your already wonderful plot and give it an extra something to appeal to readers even more.Here are some helpful posts for you if you want to read more in depth on paragraph structure !! 

1  2  3  4My other point is about how you broke up the chapters. I am a writer myself and I know how hard it is to write lots at a time (especially considering I’m a uni student too so I have, like, no time) but I try to make my chapters anywhere between 4k and 7k words. However, a lot of people don’t do this and make their chapters way shorter. But ultimately it all comes down to scene breakdown and length, which I will explain. Especially in the first 5 or 6 parts of your fic, I felt like that could have been condensed into about 3. This is because you spread the same scene out over multiple chapters. This is fine; again fanworks are artistic works and you can write however you want, but another thing I do is try to keep the consumer of my fanworks in mind as I create them. It’s a little bit jarring to jump from chapter to chapter (or wait a week between chapters, if someone is keeping up with the fic as it’s updated) even though it’s still the same setting, the same characters, and essentially the same thing happening. My chapters are longer because they’re usually one or two scenes depending on the length of the scene, but they’re entire scenes regardless. And I’m not saying you should cut stuff out, that’s not what I mean by “condense”. I mean you could have copy and pasted a chapter into the chapter before it and just made it longer. Sometimes, a higher word count is fine if the story flows.For example, and this is just off the top of my head, let’s say a character is going to hang out with a friend. The scene begins with them meeting up, and ends with them parting ways. even if you don’t want to write the ENTIRE scene or think some of it is pointless filler that doesn’t contribute to the plot and you want to cut some parts out, you can put time cuts within the chapter as long as that one scene remains within that one chapter. Again, these aren’t rules. But as both a fanfic reader and writer, it’s easy to notice these things. You actually did this very well once, when you made a time cut where you didn’t write the interviews themselves in chapter five, I believe. You were right in your endnote on that chapter; it would have made it far too long. That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. But I still thought you could have put that time cut in the middle of a chapter rather than between chapters. And when I say time cut, I don’t mean something in bold like ****Time Skip**** placed between paragraphs, because that’s just jolting. It takes the reader out of their immersed state. To make an adequate time cut, just make the space between paragraphs larger, or put a horizontal line that you can copy and paste from google or something (like I did) to separate the pieces without making it look messy.A helpful tip I read a while back while writing my first fic on tumblr was to use the “A and B therefore C” method, or the Incentive, Action and Result method. I forget where I read this tip and I’ve been trying to find it for you but I haven’t been able to, I’m sorry. Here’s an example using a scene from the first chapter of my fic:A or Incentive: Peter is failing EnglishandB or Action: Ned doesn’t want him to fail English; Ned wants him to do well so he doesn’t get kicked out of schoolthereforeC or Result: Ned gets the reader to tutor Peter, which kicks off the plotThat’s the scene! Altogether, the scene written out was about 3,000 words but I made it into half of a chapter because I had more to add to it (if you’ve read my fic you’ll know what I mean, but you don’t have to).Here’s the other half of the chapter broken down like this:A: Peter is struggling with English and it’s distracting him during his hero workandB: He has a nasty run-in with Hammerhead that leaves him injured beyond beliefthereforeC: The reader witnesses him coming back to their dorm building bloody and bruised, and she becomes suspicious I would say the only time that people can get away with ending a chapter in the middle of a scene is when there is a huge cliffhanger they want to incorporate and leave their readers hanging in suspense for a week before the next chapter release. Other than that, it’s better if one scene is confined to one chapter. And my last point is tenses! Oh boy tenses, those horrible, awful tenses. They suck but they’re so so so important. I often found that you randomly switch between present tense and past tense in the middle of your chapter when there isn’t any actual time difference in the scene. Going from “says” to “said” is a little bit confusing, but everyone does it. EVERYONE. Hell, I still do. The important thing is catching yourself when you do. I know I have a few times where it’s slipped through the cracks and I’ve published a chapter where there are a few slip-ups, but again, everyone does it. That’s why I’m not making a huge deal out of it.These are a few reasons why having someone to beta read or edit your fic before you publish it is super important! I’m lucky I have my close friends to do it for me, but a lot of fic writers hide the fact that they write fics from their friends because, let’s be honest, it can be kind of embarrassing. If you ever need someone to beta read or edit for you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or any other fic writer that you know! I’m more than willing to help you improve your writing (as you can probably tell by this long winded response to your ask) and finally put all this studying for my English degree to good use. I plan to become an English teacher, so the more experience I get the better! I’m always here for you!I really hope you don’t think I’m being rude or pretentious because that is not at all what was meant by this review of your fic. I think you’re incredibly talented and creative, and the idea of your story is a great one that I enjoyed following as I read it. Basically, my main point of this is to say that even if you have an amazing story, if the structure isn’t appealing, chances are people won’t read it. Again, it’s a sad truth but we’re all guilty of it. All in all, it was a wonderful story that was well written and well planned, and I really enjoyed it! I hope you continue writing because you have so much potential, and maybe even take some of my advice. I’m so happy you’re open to opinions, thoughts and constructive criticism on your writing. But remember that you don’t have to do what I say. You art is is just that: YOUR art. And my advice is just advice. At the end of the day, just keep doing you, love.- Gabi  ps. YOUR ART IS LOVELY!! I really love that you added illustrations for the last two parts of the sequel, really helps envision what is happening better. I might start drawing for my fics too ;)

[lost-forever-in-thought]

Sober Up! Pokemon OC X CANON STORY

WARNING: This is an OC x Canon story in the slightest of ways, though it doesn’t show blatant, overly lovey dovey love. This, instead, shows the interactions between two kids who are in love with each other, but don’t know it yet because they’re both too shy and just don’t know what love is in general. This story does not have an official ending, more or less left on a cliffhanger or something like that, but if you guys actually do like this bullcrap I guess that I could do the ending to it if you’d like.. This is not the official ship for the oc or canon character, I’m not saying that it is, I’m just trying to have a little bit of fun with writing it and just writing in general, because their personality traits combine in a good and nice™ way and I have a lot of fun writing shipping stories and writing in general.  Actually, this is more or less just inserting my oc as the protag. Keep this in mind when reading the story, and if you don’t like these types of stories than this is not something that I suggest you reading. Tina is inserted into the place of Moon, if it doesn’t become obvious during the story events, however her personality, backstory before Alola, and everything else has much differences to Moon. Just warning you of this now.

WARNING NUMBER 2: This is a song story, aka based on a song obviously. The song is Sober Up by AJR. Here’s a link to the song on Youtube to listen to so that you can get the whole effect of the story instead of a small bit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DC_TrsY7U3A

Ages: Tina (15)

Lillie (14, but nearly 15)

Hau (14, but nearly 15)

Gladion: (15, but almost 16)

With all of that said, let’s get into the story!

Please don’t ridicule me for destroying your ships or something, because I’m not trying to. This literally isn’t even canon for my character, and it is just a story for practice and fun.  Any rude comments will be heckin deleted cause I don’t need  none of that toxic shit in my life.

Important thing to know when reading this story: Young love is subtle, easily broken, and fragile. The reason of this is that it’s incredibly new. Real, true love is a new feeling to most teenagers, which means it takes a long time to get used to and fully recognize. Feelings may be subtle and show in such a way, like hand holding, gentle cuddling, a bunch of hugs, maybe a special kiss when the time is right, but they are incredibly powerful and still there regardless. Most teenagers won’t show the affection that adults show, but their feelings are still completely there and the same. A lot of young lovers risk everything for the ones they love, even if it means going to complete EXTREMES, due to them not knowing love much yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello, hello. I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I hope that you’re missing me, ‘cause it makes me feel young.

The waves crashed against the shore of the beach, the moon lit up in the sky putting off it’s bright but much needed light. Sitting on the shore was a young trainer who most knew as Tina. She sat there, her legs crossed as she made basically no noise. The beach was completely empty, except for maybe a few Pokemon who were also silent. The ideal place for thinking. Of course, Tina was deep in thought with all the help from the quiet beach, ignoring all of the world that had been around her. She was naturally an introvert, so more often than not being alone in silence was a simple thing for her and more often than not she prefered it. However, this time it was a somber silence. It was the anniversary of the day that Lillie had left for Kanto 3 years ago. Tina let out a gentle sigh as the memories came back to her in waves of emotion. She closed her eyes as she thought of the adventure they had gone on together, a thick feeling of nostalgia around her heart and some unidentifiable other feeling as well.

Hello, hello. Last time I saw your face was recess in second grade, and it made me feel young.

Tina remembered when she was only 12 and how much she had been crying once Lillie’s boat had been out of sight. It took Hau and Kukui a bunch of time to calm her down even though she had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry, almost an hour just when she was on the docks. However, when they finally got her to stop for a bit and took her home, the crying just got worse at her house as she held the doll that Lillie had given her. Lillie was her closest friend, one of the only people who gave her friendship a chance when she first got to Alola other than Hau. She wasn’t a popular kid in Kanto, quite the opposite, she was a loser, a geek, whatever they called her. However, Lillie didn’t care about whatever Tina had been in Kanto, it was only what she was in Alola. It was more than Tina could have ever asked for. However, now the memory of the closest friend she had haunted her. However, it was for a reason different than the friendship.

Won’t you help me sober up? Growing up it made me numb, and I want to feel something again.

The thoughts swirled in the young trainer’s head about how many mistakes she had made while in the friendship. Stupid jokes, misspoken words, lies that didn’t need to be there due to them being pointless, all the little mistakes that she felt that she could have changed with just a few different actions. However, the worst one was her confidence. She had such low confidence and self esteem for herself, and she indefinitely felt that she was bombarding her friends with how bad her confidence was, even though she knew that she definitely hadn’t been due to them always saying so. It made her feel secretly more empty, though she wouldn’t tell that to anyone, especially Lillie. It was worse as she grew up, hardly anyone there for a shoulder for the young girl to cry on without her being scared that they would leave her behind like all her so called ‘friends’ in Kanto did, and she ended up having nothing left. She put all her trust in Lillie, and now that she was in Kanto and the girl was too scared to talk to her in the first place, well it was hard to know the young trainer’s feelings.

Won’t you help me sober up? All the big kids, they got drunk, and I want to feel something again. Won’t you help me feel something again? How’s it go again?

Tina got up, something falling out of her bag. It was an old looking postcard, maybe two years old, which for postcard times was pretty old. She picked it up, inspecting it in her hands like it was some sort of artifact that nobody had seen for 100 years. The postcard was from Kanto, sent with a neatly written note from Lillie on the back. What had been on the back of the letter was faded, Tina was too scared to read what Lillie had sent in the first place two years ago, so it basically sat in her bag doing absolutely nothing. That was one thing Tina was too much of, scared. She had the confidence to take on such powerful Pokemon and even infiltrate the Aether Foundation to save Lillie, but when it came to smaller things like making friends, or reading notes when people hadn’t been around for a while, well, it made her scared. She put the letter back in her bag, frowning a bit as she had. She hadn’t seen Lillie in THREE years. A lot changes in three years. Tina went from a measly 4,9 to at least an above average 5,4, that’s one change. However, her looks hadn’t changed that much, but she was sure that Lillie wouldn’t like her changed personality. What if though..What if she could test that? Tina knew why her mom said no to her going to Kanto with Lillie three years ago, she was only 12, but maybe now that she was incredibly close to being an adult her mother would possibly say yes. She got up from the beach, dusting off the sand from her clothes and starting to run back to her house.

”Goodbye, goodbye.” I said to my bestest buds. We said that we’d keep in touch, and we did our best.

Meanwhile in Kanto it had been almost lunch time. The hours in Kanto were a bit behind compared to the hours in Alola, since it was nearly 10 at night in Alola and only 12 in the morning in Kanto. Lillie looked at her phone, looking at the messages she had sent back and forth with her friends. It was hard to get in touch with them a lot of the time. When Lillie was on for longer periods of time, Tina was sleeping because she slept in the day instead of the night, and when Tina was on for longer periods of time, Lillie was sleeping. They’d sometimes stay up for each other, but it would be incredibly difficult on the both of them. Hau was a complete mess to get in contact with, literally any of the time. He was either sleeping, lost his phone and had to get a new number, destroyed his phone, anything. Hau was not good with technology, maybe outside of the Rotom Dex. As much as the boy had liked to talk, he only sent Lillie a message maybe once in a while. The person that got into the most contact with Lillie was Gladion, and it was even rare to hear from him because he really didn’t like to talk to anyone most of the time. Lillie was surprised as she got a message on her phone with a familiar tone showing that the message had come. The special sound for the message was ‘Michael Makes an Entrance!’ from Be More Chill. It was obvious that the message was from Tina.

‘Lillie, my buddy, how’s it hangin’? Was lunch bangin’?’ Tina made another Be More Chill reference on the message, which made Lillie sort of giggle. Lillie knew that the girl was probably one of the biggest musical nerd out there, but only for more popular, relatable musicals. The blonde haired girl replied to the message, glad she was finally able to talk with her best friend.

All of my new friends, we smile at party time, but soon we forget to smile at anything else.

Lillie had made a few new friends in Kanto, but not as many as she had made in Alola, and they weren’t as impactful as the ones in Alola either. Still, it made the time in Kanto a bit better for her as well when she was trying to help her mother heal. Another huge helper when she was in Kanto were her Pokemon. In 3 years she had become an incredibly powerful trainer while in Kanto, having gotten to the toppest of the charts and even beating the champion, however she gave up the champion spot since her real home had been in Alola instead of Kanto. Lusamine was doing much better, though still healing. The neurotoxins had gotten her real critically, though she was healing at a good pace. Lillie always tried to smile through all the bad things that were happening, even if they really, really hurt her in ways that were difficult to describe.

Won’t you help me sober up? Growing up, it made me numb, and I want to feel something again.

The blonde haired trainer continued to talk to Tina until she had to leave. Usually Tina had to get off at 3 in the morning, because that was when she went to bed. It was about 5 o’clock for Lillie, so not that late, and often when she had to do things, so it was hard to get into contact with her friends. She wished that she would be able to see them more often. Tina came with Hau every year for at least 3 days, but that wasn’t nearly enough. So little time and so much to say, it just didn’t work. Lillie had experienced that over three years ago, though she never announced the way that she had. She started to remember the fun times that the group had together, but also the bad times. She missed it all.

Won’t you help me sober up? All the big kids they got drunk, and I want to feel something again. Won’t you help me feel something again? How’s it go again? How’s it go again?

Lillie heard the familiar ping of a message from Tina go off. Wait, why would Tina be replying this late? It was almost 6 in the morning in Alola by the time she had sent this message, way too early for her to normally be awake. Curiously, the blonde haired girl picked up the phone. The message said a quick and sort of odd question.

‘Are you still in Celadon City?’

Lillie was confused as to why Tina would ask a question like this out of the blue. Of course, she still was in Celadon. She had been staying in the same town for the past few years. She replied to Tina.

‘Yes, I am.’

Another reply came soon after, saying it’s normal and unique ringtone.

‘Cool.’

Lillie looked at the message for a few seconds, a blank look coming to her face at the strange reply and the even stranger question that came before the reply. What just happened?

My favorite color is you. You’re vibrating out my frequency. My favorite color is you. You keep me young and that’s how I wanna be. My favorite color is you. You’re vibrating out my frequency. My favorite color is you. You keep me young and that’s how I wanna be.

Tina had gotten the okay from her mother, after ranting for almost an hour and a half why she would be fine if she were to go to Kanto on her own, and how she wouldn’t even be on her own in the first place. Her mother was convinced about 5 minutes into the whole entire rant, her daughter had put up some good points, but she listened to her daughter ranting anyways. She enjoyed listening to it, because it showed how much she really did care about all of this. The emotions of Tina were usually subdued, quiet and never coming out, she went with everything that happened and supported those around her actions, even if they would actually hurt her. However, now her emotions were on full display, coming out to the only other person she trusted with her emotions other than Lillie. Honestly, the teen looked a lot more calm when she finally let out her emotions and thoughts, she hadn’t looked as calm as she looked in that moment in a long, long time.

When her mother said that it would be okay, Tina seemed to have started to cry in happiness. Even if it was just a few weak tears, it was incredibly powerful for her. She hugged her mother before going an packing her bag. She got the quickest tickets that she possibly could, even though they were hella expensive. She almost missed her boat, if she hadn’t started to run before it had a chance to pull away then she definitely would have missed it. She stood near the rail of the boat, taking off her hat so that the wind could properly flow through her short, curly, unruly hair. She was finally on her way, on her way to stay. She felt a sense of glee in her heart, one she felt like she hadn’t felt in a while in places other than amusement parks or rollercoasters. Yes, that’s how she could explain her emotions right now, like an amazing, fast, thrill filled rollercoaster, and she was excited for it. She let the salty wind blow in her face as a gentle grin came across it. Her olive green eyes reflected with the rising sun.

Hello, hello. I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I hope that you’re missing me, cause it makes me feel young.

Tina had fallen asleep on the boat, since the ride had taken a good 6 hours. That was all the sleep that she was going to need for today, the excitement in her body was like a battery that lasted forever and she couldn’t fall asleep due to it. She got off the boat and she found herself calling out her Tauros and running on it to get to Celadon City. She hadn’t told Lillie that she had been coming to Kanto, in fact she had only told her mom that she was coming to Kanto. She was lucky that Kanto had been so close, so that she would be able to go back and forth from Kanto to Alola whenever she needed. She knew that Lillie wasn’t able to leave for long periods of time due to her mom needing the help, but that didn’t make an excuse for herself. Tina found herself near Celadon City a lot quicker than she had thought it would take. Last year it seemed longer, or it could have just been that Tina was much, much smaller and everything seemed to take a bit longer to get to due to it. She had to think of what she was going to say. What was she going to say? She randomly came to Kanto for no reason, out of the blue, hardly warning anyone that she had been going. She didn’t even know why she came here, just something told her to do so. For once, she decided to follow her instincts.

Hello, hello. Last time I saw your face, was recess in second grade, and it made me feel young.

Tina took a deep breath as she prepared herself for what she was about to do. She didn’t know why it was so hard to do this time. Lillie had been her best friend since she was 11 years old, over 4 years at this point. It was easy every single other time she went to go see Lillie, but something had changed in the past year. The young trainer couldn’t identify the feeling, but it was this warm feeling that went around her heart like a warm blanket. She would have to ask her mother what the feeling was when she finally went home, but that wasn’t important right now. She jumped off of the Tauros, calling it back to it’s Pokeball so that she would be able to walk on her own into Celadon. She decided that it would be better to just make this a casual confrontation, since they were usually casual in the first place. She walked until she found herself standing in front of the apartment where Lillie and her mother stayed. Tina took out her phone and texted Lillie once more.

And I want to feel something again, I just want to feel something again. How’s it go again?

Lillie heard the ringtone again. It was 12 in Kanto, a normal time for Tina to be awake. However, the message she got was strange.

‘Come outside, there’s something that you should see in Kanto.’

Lillie was a surprisingly curious person, so of course she went outside to go check what Tina wanted her to see. She had to go down some steps, so it took her a little while, but when she saw what Tina wanted her to see she had frozen in place. It WAS Tina. The both of them started to stare at each other. First Lillie’s eyes got watery, and then it was Tina’s turn.

Won’t you help me sober up? Growing up, it made me numb, and I wanna feel something again (my favorite color is you). Won’t you help me sober up? All the big kids, they got drunk, and I want to feel something again (my favorite color is you). Won’t you help me feel something again (my favorite color is you)? Can I finally feel something again?

Tina and Lillie ran to each other, immediately gripping each other in a hug like they always did when they met up again. However, this time there was a strange new feeling included in the hug. It didn’t matter to either of them though, they didn’t notice it. The two teenagers were just glad to see each other again. They let anyone who might have been watching watch them, they didn’t much care. Lillie was curious on how Tina had gotten here so quick, but she didn’t want to ask, she just wanted to enjoy the hug they were in. Tina was the first one to release from the hug, wiping the tears that had formed away from her eyes. Lillie was a bit slower in letting go of the hug, but eventually she did so as well. Tina stared directly into Lillie’s eyes, and Lillie stared directly into hers. It was like Tina’s heart had exploded or something, but in a good way, if it could be described like that. No, that’s the only way she could describe it. They continued to stare into each other’s eyes. Gentle smiles appeared on the both of their faces as they were able to share this brand new feeling together without even knowing. All of time fell away around them.

How’s it go again?

[sunriserose1023]

Overjoyed

Part 11 of the Cherry Stem Knots saga! (And my 1,000th Tumblr post!) Inspired by THIS Matchbox 20 song. 

Catch up:  1. Cherry Stem Knots  2. Drinkin’ Me Lonely  3. Between the Raindrops  4. Rise Above This Mess  5. Tequila Talkin’  6. Let Me Let Go  7. Hold On To Me  8. Nothing  9. Pretty Eyes, Pirate Smile 10. Wrong Again

CHARACTERS: Female reader, Jo Harvelle, Charlie Bradbury, Ellen Harvelle, Sam Winchester, Jess Moore ... oh, and the reveal of the mystery man from that last cliffhanger. ;) WARNINGS: Angst (but not as bad as usual, you’re welcome) WORD COUNT: 4842

TAGS are at the bottom. Feedback=love. XOXO

Your heart stayed in your throat as you stared at the man across the bar. He was older now, but just as handsome as you remembered, with hair black as coal and eyes a light, bright green. Thick stubble darkened the lower part of his face, as if he had shaved that morning, but to no avail. His lips were curved in a smile, sea green eyes roaming over you the same way you were taking him in.

Your hands were shaking, heart thundering in your chest. You opened your mouth, voice barely a whisper when you finally spoke.

“Mick?”

His grin widened, and he spoke again, the words thickly accented in almost Cockney English.

“Hello, love.”

You blinked, rounding the bar and all but falling into his arms as he stood up. He let out a soft laugh as he held you, going still when he realized you were crying.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright. Why the tears?”

You shook your head and he led you back to the bar, sitting you on the stool beside him and taking hold of your hands. You sniffled and brought your eyes to his, and he smiled again.

“As much as I’d love to think those are tears of joy at seeing me again … I don’t believe they are.”

You shook your head.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” “I know.” “But you … God, Mick. You always did seem to know exactly when I needed you.”

Tears filled your eyes again and you leaned forward, resting your forehead against Mick’s shoulder. He swallowed, lifting a hand and rubbing your back.

“I’m right here, darling. I’m here and I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

After a moment, you lifted your head, shaking it.

“What are you doing here?”

Mick smiled, reaching to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“We’ve got plenty of time to talk about that. Are you alright?”

You sniffed, then smiled.

“We’ve got plenty of time to talk about that.”

Mick let out a laugh, leaning forward and kissing your cheek. You shook your head, reaching out and taking his hands.

“I can’t believe it’s really you.” “Believe it.” “How long has it been?”

Mick sighed.

“Too long.”

You nodded, and he dropped your hands, reaching up and taking your face in his hands, staring into your eyes.

“I want you to listen to me.”

You nodded, not taking your eyes from his.

“I’m home now.” “You … what?” “I’m back here, right here, for good.” “Mick.”

He smiled, moving his thumbs along your cheeks.

“I’ve been away much too long. I’ll tell you all about it later, I promise. But I … god, Y/N. I have missed you.”

You closed your eyes as Mick pulled you closer, pressing his lips to your forehead. You reached over and grabbed his leg, digging your fingers in, and he stood up, pulling you close to him and holding you tightly. You put your face in his shoulder, closing your eyes and holding tightly to him, mind racing, but a calm somehow washing over you.

“Excuse me.”

You lifted your head, seeing Jo standing with her arms crossed over her chest, one eyebrow lifted. Charlie stood beside her, wiping smeared lip gloss from around her mouth. You smiled, giving Mick one last squeeze before you stepped back. He was smiling at you when you met his eyes, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me. Who the fuck do you …”

Mick turned around and you watched as Jo’s eyes widened, mouth falling open before she squealed and took off running, leaping into Mick’s arms. He caught her easily and spun her around, laughing as he did.

“Oh, Joanna. I have missed you so.” “Well, crap.”

Charlie came to stand by you, sighing as she shook her head.

“With an accent like that, I’m history.”

You laughed, looping an arm around Charlie’s shoulders.

“Don’t worry, Red. She ain’t going nowhere.”

Charlie smiled and the two of you watched as Mick set Jo back on her feet. She shook her head, holding onto his arms.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” “I’m glad to see you too, darling.” “Well, of course I’m glad to see you. I just never thought it would happen again. I thought you said you’d never come back.” “I said no such thing.”

You snorted, and Mick glanced your way, narrowing his eyes before he smiled.

“Well, maybe I did, but it was in the heat of the moment and I didn’t mean it.”

You swallowed, blinking widely as a pain shot through your heart at his words. You reached out a hand and Charlie helped you to one of the barstools, shooting a glance back at Jo.

“I’m okay, Charlie. Thank you.”

She nodded, patting you on the head as you smiled up at her. Jo threw her arms around Mick’s neck.

“I’m so glad you’re back.”

She stepped back, holding onto his arms again.

“You are back, right?” “Yes, darling. I’m back.”

Jo squealed again, and Mick twirled her around until he could see you. Worry filled his eyes, noticed by a quiet redhead, and he waited until you lifted your eyes to look at him.

“I’m back for good.”

You swallowed, pushing a smile onto your face. Jo waved a hand and Charlie made a face until she left you to go and stand beside Jo.

“Charlie, this is Mick Davies. Mick … this is my Charlie.”

Mick took the hand Charlie offered, shaking it once before going still, meeting Jo’s eyes again.

“Your Charlie?”

Jo swallowed and nodded.

“My girlfriend.”

Mick smiled, letting out a laugh.

“Well, now. That is wonderful. Nice to meet you.”

Charlie nodded, both of you watching as Mick moved to hug Jo again. He whispered something to her that you couldn’t hear, but you saw Jo blink back tears as she nodded and tightened her grip on him. He let her go and moved to hug Charlie, who laughed and nodded at whatever he whispered to her. You smiled, leaning back against the bar when the door to the kitchen opened.

“Can someone let me know what the devil is all this racket out here? There are no customers and you’re being loud enough to wake the dead.”

Ellen stepped behind the bar and slapped a towel onto it. Jo grinned as she stepped forward.

“Mama, look!”

Ellen raised an eyebrow, eyes widening and mouth falling open when Mick stepped forward.

“Hello, Ellen.”

Ellen hurried around the bar, Mick meeting her just around the corner and capturing her in a hug. Jo walked over and wrapped her arms around you from behind, leaning to rest her chin on your shoulder.

“Did you know?”

You shook your head.

“I’m just as shocked as you are.” “What’s he doing here?”

You opened your mouth, closing it again when Ellen slapped the back of Mick’s head.

“Ow!” “What the hell is wrong with you? You leave here and I get nothing but radio silence. What, are you allergic to giving me peace of mind?”

You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing, and Mick rubbed a hand over the back of his head.

“I am sorry. I know I should have kept in touch, but I … I really have no excuse.” “Damn right you don’t.”

Ellen stepped forward and took him into her arms again, and you blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. Ellen looked over Mick’s shoulder and met your eyes, giving you a soft smile. You couldn’t help but smile back at her, and she stepped away from Mick, laying a hand on his cheek.

“You hungry?” “For one of your burgers? Starving.”

Ellen smiled, nodding her head, patting Mick’s cheek before she disappeared back into the kitchen. Jo and Charlie subtly stepped away as Mick walked back to you, taking the seat beside you.

“I must say, that went much better than expected.” “They love you.”

He shrugged a shoulder, reaching out to tangle his fingers with yours.

“I didn’t exactly leave on the best terms.” “You didn’t leave on bad terms. You … you just left.”

Mick nodded, eyes cast down to your linked hands.

“I’m sorry for that.” “Mick—” “No, I … I need to apologize to you.”

You shook your head.

“You don’t.” “Y/N, I—“ “I can’t, Mick. Not right now. I can’t …”

You squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head. You felt him move closer, and his voice was low when he spoke.

“What happened to you?” “I can’t.” “You can tell me anything, darling. You have to know that, right?”

You shook your head, a tear dripping off your lashes and landing on his hand.

“Not this.” “Y/N.”

You shook your head, and he sighed, gathering you into his arms and holding on tightly.

“It doesn’t matter what it is. No matter how bad you think it is. It doesn’t matter to me, darling. I—”

He cleared his throat and you sighed.

“You may not say that when I get brave enough to tell you.”

Mick closed his eyes, then shook his head.

“Well, we shall see, won’t we?”

You sniffled, sitting back and looking up at him. He smiled at you, lifting a hand to brush the tears from your cheeks. He murmured almost to himself, but you heard him anyway.

“Absolutely beautiful.”

You rolled your eyes, sitting up and grabbing a napkin off the dispenser on the bar in front of you, wiping your face.

“Did something happen to your eyesight in London?”

Mick grinned.

“As a matter of fact … no.”

You gave a soft laugh, then moved to rest your elbow on the bar, propping your head on your hand.

“Tell me about it.” “What, London?”

You nodded, and Mick instinctively moved closer to you, where your knees were touching.

“It’s cold and rainy and incredibly dreary. I much prefer the view here.” “Oh, yeah. Fields of nothing sure are lovely.”

Mick threw his head back and laughed, reaching to take your free hand.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

You felt a tickle in your chest, just the slightest tinge of warmth where you’d been so cold and empty lately. You met his eyes and felt your breath catch before you smiled.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

You looked up from your place behind the bar to see Sam and Jess walk through the door. He glanced around, eyes narrowing and hands going to his hips when he saw Jo.

“What, Blondie? What was so important that we had to ‘come to the Roadhouse ASAP?’”

Jo put her hands on her hips, mirroring him.

“If you’re going to have such an attitude about it, then just forget it.” “Oh, no. No, this better be good. It better be better than good. I left a Game of Thrones marathon for this.” “Please. You were napping on the couch while Games of Thrones played unwatched in the background.”

Jess glanced up from where she’d draped her jacket over a chair to see all eyes in the room on her. She shrugged her shoulders.

“I can’t get into it. All the incest and the death …”

She grimaced as she shivered, and you laughed. Sam stared at her with betrayal in his eyes, and she rolled her eyes when she looked back to him. She walked over to sit at the bar, shaking her head when you motioned at the beverages around you. Sam sighed, dragging his feet as he started towards the bar.

“Sam?”

He stopped, turning back at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. You watched with a smile on your face as Sam stared at the man with his brows furrowed, until suddenly, recognition lit up his features.

“Mick?”

Mick smiled, holding his arms out as he made his way to Sam. Sam laughed as they embraced, shaking his head as they broke apart.

“What the hell are you doing here?” “Christ, Sam. Have you grown more?”

Sam shook his head again, a wide smile on his face.

“I don’t believe this. How have you been?” “Very well, thank you.”

Mick glanced towards the bar, holding your eyes as he spoke his next sentence.

“Better now.”

You swallowed, looking down at the bar. Jess leaned in closer to you as Mick and Sam walked to sit in a booth.

“Who’s the fox?”

Your cheeks flushed and Jess gasped as she leaned in closer.

“Spill!”

You let out a laugh and leaned over the bar, resting your forearms on it.

“His name is Mick Davies. He was … one of our friends back in the day. Back in that dark time before we knew you.”

Jess rolled her eyes, but smiled.

“That’s sweet of you, but I want juicier details. Why you blushing?”

You ducked your head, then sighed.

“Mick and I were …”

You bobbled your head as you searched for the word, and Jo walked up then, taking the seat beside Jess, pulling Charlie onto her lap.

“Y/N and Mick were totally gone for each other. Hot and heavy. I mean like … almost got married.”

Jess’ mouth fell open and you rolled your eyes.

“We didn’t almost get married. We were way too young and … dumb.” “Dumb enough to almost have to get married, if I remember correctly.”

Your cheeks flushed again, and you glanced at Jess, whose mouth was still hanging open. You shook your head.

“It turned out to be a false alarm, and anyway, everything went to shit afterwards.” “Hang on.”

Jess waved a hand, closing her eyes for a moment.

“You thought you were pregnant with this guy’s baby?”

She tossed her thumb over her shoulder and you sighed, pushing a hand through your hair and speaking slowly.

“I was young and dumb.”

Jo rolled her eyes, looping her arms around Charlie’s waist, resting her chin on Charlie’s shoulder.

“I honestly thought you and Mick would get married. Broke my heart when you guys broke up.” “Why did you break up?”

You looked to Jess and smiled.

“We wanted different things.” “Y/N—” “No, really. He wanted to go back to England, and I didn’t think I could leave the life I’d made here. We had long talks about it, fought about it, and in the end … he left.”

You shrugged your shoulders, glancing down at the bar. The pain you felt then was like the pain you felt now. You’d cried so hard once Mick had boarded the plane, not knowing he was doing the exact same thing in his seat. Dean had been there to help you through, and that was when you’d fallen in love with him.

“So he just left without saying goodbye?”

You blinked, glancing over at Jess. Jo let out a laugh.

“Oh, no. They had a long goodbye, if you know what I’m saying. Long and loud.” “Joanna!”

You reached over the bar and smacked her shoulder, and Jo dissolved into giggles, which made Charlie giggle right with her. You felt your cheeks flush as you moved closer to Jess.

“I loved him very, very much. It killed me when he left, and I … I honestly never thought I’d see him again.” “Yet here he is.”

You lifted your eyes, immediately noticing Mick staring at you from across the room. He smiled, winking at you before he turned his attention back to whatever he and Sam were talking about. You blinked, taking in a breath and letting it out slowly.

“Here he is.”

Sam shook his head as he walked into the apartment, tossing his keys on the table by the door.

“I cannot believe Mick is back in town.” “Yeah, who is he again?”

Sam glanced back at Jess, who shook her shoulders and slid her jacket down her arms. He smiled, leaning against the doorframe as he watched her hang the jacket up.

“Y/N was taking a few classes at the community college and he was in one of classes. British Lit, maybe? I think—no, it was British Lit. Anyway, they got into this huge discussion over The Canterbury Tales that lasted for two days straight. He showed up at the door and they fought for like an hour at the tops of their lungs. Dean finally had to shut them up and break up the fight, and when he did … Mick just made himself at home. He fit in with them—us—seamlessly, and before anybody knew it, he was like family.”

Jess smiled, and Sam sighed.

“He doesn’t have any family of his own. He’s an orphan as far as he knows. Came here as an exchange student in high school, then stayed for college. He went back to England a few years ago and …”

Sam shrugged and Jess walked over to him, wrapping an arm around his waist as they walked to the kitchen. Sam went for the fridge and Jess sat at the table, propping her feet in the chair beside hers.

“Y/N said she loved him.”

Sam went still, nodding slowly as he turned back to face her. He smiled softly as he spoke.

“She did. And he loved her.”

Sam closed the fridge, moving to grip the back of a chair.

“They were perfect for each other, perfect together.”

He swallowed, pulling the chair out, turning it backwards and sitting down, resting his arms over the back.

“Jess … Mick is the only guy Dean has ever … had competition with when it comes to Y/N. I mean, yeah, she’s dated, but … she and Mick …”

Sam shook his head.

“It shocked everybody when he left. We all thought they were endgame.” “But I thought she’s always loved Dean.”

Sam nodded.

“I know. She has, but … I don’t know. She and Dean are too much alike, I think. But then, they’re not, you know? He’s a borderline alcoholic, she’s a bartender. She’s so sweet and he’s … well. You know.”

Jess laughed at that.

“But Mick … God, Jess. Mick and Y/N were like two puzzle pieces that just fit together. They didn’t even have to speak and they could have a full conversation.”

Sam swallowed, looking down at his hands.

“If he’s back, then … maybe Y/N and Dean can finally move on.” “He just got back to town, Sam.” “Yeah, and did you see him? He was staring at her all night. I was talking to him and he was looking at her. He still loves her.”

Jess shook her head.

“He’s been gone for years, Sam. They haven’t even spoken for years, and what? They’re just going to pick up where they left off?”

Sam sighed.

“It’s not that simple. Come on, Jessie. You’ve seen her. She’s been so sad lately.”

Jess pushed a hand through her hair.

“I just … I don’t want him to be a rebound for her. Especially if he meant so much to her before.” “I don’t think he could be.”

Sam shook his head.

“You didn’t see them before, Jess. They were …”

He stopped, a smile creeping over his face as he reached across the table.

“They were like me and you.”

Jess smiled, giving his hand a squeeze.

“That good, huh?”

Sam laughed, rubbing his thumb over the ring on her finger. He stood up and walked around the table, leaning over and kissing her lips. Jess lifted a hand to brush through his hair, pulling her legs out of the chair and standing up. Sam wrapped her in his arms and she put her arms around his neck. He leaned down, pressing his lips to her neck, and Jess smiled.

“Do you want to … hmm … finish Game of Thrones?” “I think I’ve got a better idea.”

Jess nodded, jumping when he prompted, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carried her down the hall.

When everyone was gone and you and Mick were alone in the bar, you finished the menial tasks that needed to be done, and he stood by the jukebox, flipping through the songs. He glanced over his shoulder when you walked around the bar and smiled when you made your way to him.

“See anything good?”

He shrugged his shoulders, then held out a hand. You slipped your palm against his and he gave it a tug.

“Show me a good one.”

You swallowed as you moved to stand beside him, pressing the button to look through the lists. Mick, however, couldn’t look anywhere but at you.

“Old or new?” “Hmm?”

You smiled as you kept looking.

“Do you want to hear an old one or a new one?” “New one.” “Want to go stereotypical country or something we can dance to?” “Do I look like someone who listens to country music on the regular?”

You laughed, turning to look at him, feeling your breath hitch in your throat. You swallowed, smiling as you nodded.

“I think I got one.”

Mick watched as you pressed a few buttons to override the charge, then to select a song. You smiled as the sound of slow strumming of a guitar began to fill the room. Mick looked to a spot on the floor, listening to the lyrics, closing his eyes.

“Feeling my hands start shaking, Hearing your voice, I’m overjoyed.”

He opened his eyes and you looked away, blinking back the sudden tears that came to your eyes.

“Maybe you have your reasons, Maybe you’re scared you’ll be let down. Are you crying when there’s no one around?”

You widened your eyes, not realizing exactly how appropriate this song was. Mick closed his eyes again through the chorus, and when the second verse started, he felt it in his soul.

“That smile on your face like summer, The way that your hand keeps touching mine. Let me be the one to make it right.”

He did just as the song said, stepping to you and taking you in his arms.

“Maybe let me hold you, baby Let me come over. I will tell you secrets nobody knows. I cannot overstate it, I will be overjoyed.”

You put your forehead on his shoulder, slowly swaying with him as the music played. He tightened his hold on you as the song continued and the words hammered themselves into your hearts.

“And if you want, we’ll share this life. Oh, anytime you need a friend, I’m gonna be by your side. When nobody understands you, Well, I do.”

You dug your hands into his back and he gripped you even tighter. The two of you stopped moving, just standing there and clinging to each other as the song tapered off. After what seemed like forever, you pulled back, shaking your head.

“I didn’t realize how … fitting that was.”

Mick nodded, turning away from you and sniffling. You blinked, walking to him and touching him on the shoulder. You gasped when he turned around suddenly, taking you into his arms again and holding you tightly. You smiled as you closed your eyes, wrapping one arm around his shoulders, letting the fingers of your other hand card through his hair.

Neither of you spoke, but you didn’t have to. You could feel Mick’s heart pounding against your own, keeping your eyes closed as familiarity wrapped the two of you in a cocoon.

“I’m sorry.”

You blinked your eyes open, shifting a bit, going still when Mick tightened his arms around you, but didn’t move. You shook your head.

“Mick?” “I’m just sorry.”

You smiled, wrapping both of your arms around him.

“You’re here now.”

He leaned back just enough for you to see his red-rimmed eyes. You smiled, moving one hand to lay it against his cheek. You shook your head as you looked into his eyes, feeling your breath catch in your throat.

Mick leaned in, gently pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes fluttered closed as you tentatively kissed him back, a few seconds before his lips backed away from yours. You blinked your eyes open, looking up at him, seeing a smile on his handsome face. He nodded, speaking softly.

“It’s late.”

You nodded, and he ducked his head, causing you to close your eyes again as his lips slowly pressed against your cheek. He let go of you and backed away, turning around and laying his hands on the bar. Your shaking fingers reached up to touch your lips, letting your hand fall before he turned back around and smiled at you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” “You’re going?”

Mick laughed softly as he nodded.

“I’ve got a hotel room downtown.” “You don’t have to … I mean, Ellen has a room you can stay in.”

He nodded.

“I know.” “You don’t have to spend the money on a hotel when you can stay here.”

He laughed again.

“It’s not a problem.” “Mick—” “Y/N.”

You went quiet, and he stepped closer to you, reaching to catch a piece of your hair between his fingers.

“I wouldn’t be able to get a wink of sleep knowing you’d be just down the hall from me.”

Your eyes widened, and he gave another quiet laugh.

“Don’t look so shocked, love.” “Mick …” “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You nodded, and he leaned in to kiss your cheek again before he walked out of the bar. You stayed where you were, slowly backing up until your back hit the wall. You let your head fall backwards, wincing when it hit the wall with a little more force than you were anticipating.

“He left?”

You picked your head up, standing up straighter and rubbing the back of your head. Ellen smiled as she flipped the lights off in the kitchen and behind the bar. You locked the door, but stood there and looked out of it for a moment. You swallowed, turning back around.

“Ellen—” “He’s good for you, baby.”

You blinked, and she lifted her head, a smile on her face. You swallowed, then spoke again.

“He just got back.” “And he is as gone for you now as he was back then.”

You shook your head.

“A lot of time has passed.” “Is that supposed to mean something?”

She arched an eyebrow and you shook your head again.

“I’m not the same person I used to be.” “And he is? Did you get a good look at him?”

You just blinked, and she went on.

“He’s got a … confidence about him. He’s a man now, and he knows it.” “Ellen.”

She let out a laugh as your cheeks warmed. She walked over to you and laid her hands on your shoulders.

“I know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. I know how much he meant to you years ago. Who’s to say that can’t happen again?” “Doesn’t lightning never strike the same place twice?” “Who goes by those old tired sayings?”

You smiled.

“Y/N, you’ve been so sad lately. I don’t know the details, and I don’t need to, but whatever happened with Dean really messed you up.”

You slowly nodded.

“This could be what you need.” “I don’t want it to be a—a rebound or something.” “Then take it slow.” “It doesn’t feel slow. When I look at Mick, it’s like it used to be. All the old stuff …” “It’s still there.”

You groaned, stepping away from her.

“He just got back to town, and I’m … I’m already feeling the way I used to. There’s butterflies and … comfort.” “And that’s bad?”

You glanced over your shoulder.

“I don’t know.”

Ellen smiled as she walked to you, standing beside you and looping an arm over your shoulders.

“No one says you have to marry the man because you used to sleep with him.” “Ellen!” “I’m calling it like it is. Where do you think Jo got her bluntness from?”

You let out a laugh as you rolled your eyes.

“You don’t have to have any expectations. Just hang out with him. See if you’re just basking in nostalgia right now when the new wears off. You are an adult, Y/N. You can do whatever you want and the only person you have to answer to is yourself. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to see him or … you know. If you want to see if he still snores or whatever.” “Ellen!”

She laughed, stopping on the stairs and grabbing hold of the bannister. You couldn’t help but laugh with her, until tears came to your eyes. She lifted the hem of the flannel shirt she was wearing and wiped her eyes.

“Honey, I love you. And I just want to see you happy. If he makes you happy, then I’ll give him a job here if you want.”

You smiled, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around her.

“Thank you, Mama Ellen.” “You’re welcome, baby. Get some rest.”

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