#I’ll be here til they shut this site down and maybe even after that so

[eff4freddie]

Play With Me

Joel Miller x AFAB Reader

Explicit - Minors DNI

You've found some creative ways to find time for each other in the past, and now for the first night in a while you've got the house to yourself. You're going to spoil yourself.

(AU no outbreak)

Warnings: Absolutely did not expect this to turn into a three-part series but here we are, I love these two horny weirdos, phone sex, Facetime-assisted tomfoolery, bath time, oral (f receiving), fingering, P in V, little bit of relationship-y stuff, bit of fluff maybe also, praise kink, dirty talk, squirting, these two are fun

Words: 5.5k

Part 1: Play With It

Part 2: Play With Her

Weeks had gone by since what you both called the ‘Frankie thing’. You didn’t bring it up unless you wanted to get Joel hot under the collar, and your prize was to watch the red blush right up his neck to his earlobes every time. You fell back into your usual routine, your shifts at the hospital got longer, got later, the jobsite got busier, Joel came home more and more in the dark.

He’d still manage to find little ways to make you feel special, to make you ache for him. Whispering ‘did he taste as sweet as me?’ to you as he bent down to kiss you goodbye, or sliding his hand along the inside of your thigh as you bent to pick up your backpack for the day. Little notes left on your dresser, of love and of wanting and enough to tide you over ‘til your schedules aligned.

You missed him, of course you missed him. The mornings when you rolled over to find him still beside you, tucking yourself into his chest and humming happily to yourself as you felt your eyelids drift shut, those were the mornings that made it possible to bear waking up alone, his side of the bed gently cooling, the smell of his shampoo still lingering on his pillow.

You sighed. Tonight, for the first time in a while, you would have the house all to yourself. It was Friday, and Joel had gently reminded you the night before that he had a boys night planned with Tommy and a couple of the guys from the site, a way to blow off steam after the long nights dealing with shitty suppliers, with bad weather and rusting equipment. You were only disappointed for a moment, reminding him that Sarah was off for the night with a friend and that you would be all alone in that big house, baby. He’d blushed again, a dangerous thickening in his pants before he managed to set himself right again.

‘M’sorry, baby,’ he’d said, with genuine contrition on his face.

‘It’s ok, sweet man,’ you’d said, resting your hand on his cheek and gazing up at him warmly. ‘Maybe I’ll see what Frankie’s up to.’

His little bark of surprised laughter was enough to get you through your night shift, as was the sting of his palm on your bottom where he’d playfully spanked you into a giggling, entirely false, apology.

So it was you found yourself sidling your aching bones into an empty house, the quiet of it unsettling for its unfamiliarity. You waited in the doorway, hovering, almost expecting Sarah to jump out from behind a couch and surprise you, but you were met with only silence.

You decided you were going to make the most of it, even if you ached for Joel. You were going to have a bath, and you were going to order a pizza, and you were going to be needlessly, pointlessly indulgent, because you had earned it, and because there was no one around to catch you.

--

You held your glass of wine just over the waterline, your head resting on the shower tile. You had your phone on the counter beside you playing music softly, the silence still setting you on edge if you let yourself slip into it. You felt the ease of your muscles in the warmth of the water, the pizza settling heavy but welcome in your belly. You splayed your toes, playing with the bubbles on the surface of the water, and smiled to yourself when they popped against your skin. You wondered what Joel was up to, what dive bar Tommy’d dragged him to, and if he missed you, and then you reminded yourself you weren’t doing that tonight, that tonight was about what you wanted, and you thought about his cock instead.

And his arms, wrapped fast and safe around you, holding him to you. And the cords of his veins just beneath the surface of his skin, and how you could feel his pulse when you laved there with your tongue. You thought about the little high-pitched whines you could wring from him, palming your tits as you took him in your mouth. You gasped a little, the sense-memory sending a bolt of want into your cunt, and you settled yourself down into the water, your racing heart refracting in the water around you, the reverberating beat turning cavernous against the enamel of the bath.

As if you had conjured it, you heard the vibrations of your phone and you tried to flick the water from your hand before you reached for it.

He sounded tinny, an echo you couldn’t place behind his voice. ‘Hey, baby,’ he said, and you felt the tension melt from your shoulders.

‘Hi…’ you whispered, suddenly bashful, as if he could read your thoughts.

‘What you up to, Babygirl?’ he asked, and you could hear the grin. ‘Thought you were kiddin’ about getting Frankie over.’

You giggled, gently, into the warmth surrounding you. ‘Just me tonight, I promise,’ you assured.

‘Where are you, honey?’ he asked. ‘You in bed?’

‘Mmm-mmm,’ you hummed, waiting for a second to drop the bomb on him. ‘In the bath.’

You heard him moan a little, like you’d wounded him. ‘You all wet and soapy in there?’ he grunted, and you grinned before you caught yourself.

‘Where are you?’ you asked, suddenly worried Tommy could overhear.

‘Just outside the bar, was missin’ ya,’ he said, in that plainly Joel way that he could state something so simply, a want for you without any effort to mask it, enough that he could take your breath away.

‘You left your boys to talk to me?’

‘Keep thinkin’ bout you all alone in that big house.’

‘You been worrying what I might get up to?’ you teased.

‘Know exactly what you might get up to, an’ that’s the problem,’ he grumbled back, but you could hear the levity in it, could hear his dimple emerging proud on his cheek.

‘Was thinkin’ about what I might do if you were home, actually,’ you said, trying to match his matter-of-fact tone.

‘That right?’ he asked, and you smiled. You had him.

‘Mmhmm, thinking about the sounds you make when I’ve got you in my mouth.’ He groaned again, and you giggled. ‘Yeah, like that one, for example,’ you said.

‘God, it’s been too long, baby,’ he complained and you hummed in agreement. ‘You wanna…you wanna show me?’

‘Aren’t you out on the street somewhere?’ you asked.

‘I went back to my car to call ya, I’m just in a little street by the bar.’

‘Joel, people get arrested for that sorta thing.’

‘Ain’t no one around, baby, I promise,’ he said, and you could hear the whine in his voice, the neediness creeping in.

‘Is it dark enough?’ you asked, and you heard him sigh in victory.

‘Plenty dark, baby,’ he reassured. You hesitated for a moment longer, pushing your wet hair back off your face. You connected Facetime, holding the phone in front of you as you waited for him to appear.

You could see him fumbling, the phone slippery in his grip until he had it upright, trained on his face. You could just make it out, his skin pale in muted light coming in through the window, and you were surprised at just how dark it was. You couldn’t even really make out the street behind him.

You squinted. ‘You in there?’ he asked, and you saw the flash of his grin.

‘I see you, pretty lady,’ he said, and you realised the suds were covering less than you expected, the water levitating your breast just slightly, your nipples lengthening in the cool air and the heat of Joel’s gaze. You blushed a little, swishing some of the waning bubbles over yourself. You saw Joel pout in response.

‘This feels familiar,’ you said, and he grinned.

‘Know it does, but I don’t mind it,’ he said.

‘We make do,’ you agreed.

‘You wet for me, Babygirl?’ he asked, blunt again in that Joel way, and you gasped a little.

‘Well I’m in the bath…’ you teased, and he rolled his eyes.

‘Y’know what I meant,’ he responded.

‘No baby, I’m confused,’ you smiled, feigning ignorance, hoping to push him into saying something truly filth-

‘You achey and hot in that sweet little cunt’a yours?’ he asked, his voice gravel and dark as sin. You gasped, the pleasure of it shooting through to your core, your pussy suddenly pounding along with your heart.

‘Jesus,’ you uttered and you heard him chuckle.

‘Can see you blushin’ even from here,’ he said. The phone shifted a little, as if he was moving his grip, and you realised he was shuffling around to try and release himself from his pants. You leant forward, trying to see through the gloom.

‘Want to see me, baby?’ he asked, and you nodded your head, waiting as he angled the camera down. To your dismay you were met with almost total darkness.

‘I can’t…’ you started, frustration evident in your voice, and you heard him click his tongue.

‘Let me describe it for ya,’ he offered, and you nodded. ‘S’pulsin’, baby, can feel it throbbin’ in m’hand for you.’ Joel’s accent got thicker the more turned on he got. It was his tell, and you hadn’t told him you’d noticed it in fear that he would somehow rein it in.

‘Is it smooth?’ you asked. ‘Skin soft?’

‘Not as soft as that delicate skin you got on those precious l’il tits, baby,’ he said. ‘Can practically feel ‘em in m’mouth, your little nipple caught between m’teeth.’

You groaned, settling back, keeping the phone trained on your face as you let your eyes fall shut. Joel’s voice was enough to get you there, if you were honest. He could read you the shopping list and you’d come over all shaky-kneed and wanting in the middle of the grocery store.

‘Love teasing ‘em, one between m’fingers and suckin’ on the other. Love the way they swing and settle on m’cheeks when you start squirmin’ f’me.’

You could feel him, ghosts of his lips on your skin. He could play with your tits for hours, hefting them and watching them drop, rolling them in his palm, between his fingers, sucking and biting and easing the burn with his tongue. You sighed.

‘You touchin’ y’self, Babygirl?’ he asked, and you shook your head.

‘Not yet,’ you said, ‘imagining you here with me.’

‘Yeah, what you thinkin’ about exactly?’ he asked, and you could hear that he was breathless, that his voice carrying a subtle tremble.

‘When you eat my tits with your fingers inside me,’ you said, too turned on to mince your words. You heard his breath stutter, the unmistakable sound of skin sliding over skin.

‘What else, baby?’ he asked, and you closed your eyes again, letting the warmth of the bath water become his arms surrounding you, lifting you up, the wall behind you the warm, muscled planes of his chest.

‘Imagine you with one hand pinching my nipple, the other rolling my clit.’ You paused, gathering a breath. ‘Then you…you put your fingers…’ you trailed away, suddenly self-conscious, unable to see him but knowing he could see you plain as day.

‘Tell me, baby. S’ok to tell me what you want from me.’

‘You put your fingers in my cunt,’ you said, hearing his sharp breath as you slide your fingers down your belly, remembering after a moment to angle the phone to let him see. ‘Right here,’ you said, pulling your knees apart and lifting your hips a little, letting him see the pink of your folds, puffy and needy for him, leaking slick despite the water around you.

‘Oh, there she is,’ he whispered, and you whimpered, tracing your slick with your finger, turning light little glances on your clit.

‘Then you pump them,’ you went on, ‘you give me two until you stretch me out enough for a third.’

‘So tight, she’s so tight f’me,’ he agreed.

‘You stretch me out, though, make it so it’s good, so it’ll fit.’

‘Always, baby,’ he said, and you wished more than anything in that moment that you could see him, see the hunger in his eyes as his gaze settled at your core.

You whimpered, your frustration showing, and he sighed.

‘Wish I was there,’ he said, and you nodded, sullen. ‘What would I do if I was?’ he asked, needing to keep you talking, needing to hear the filth that could conjure for him, so fascinated by the contrast of your sweet, beautiful face and the true depths of your depravity. He loved every inch of it, loved what you could come up with when he had you so turned on you didn’t even know what you were saying.

‘You’d drain the bath,’ you said, and he tutted.

‘Cold, baby,’ he said, and you shook your head.

‘Mm-mm, because you’d be all over me,’ you said, as if this was obvious. ‘You’d be on your knees in front of me, and you’d hook my leg up over the edge of the bath and lift my hips up t’your mouth, and you’d eat my pussy until I squirted my come right down your throat.’

‘Sweet Baby Jesus,’ he muttered, his Southern truly showing now. ‘Drink you up, baby,’ he muttered.

‘Wanna see you,’ you groused. ‘Want you here with me.’

He swallowed, worried he was going to blow his cover. He could feel the tremor in his hands, the phone slippery in his sweaty palm.

‘What would I do t’ya after that?’ he asked, over a dry throat.

‘You’d pull me up and sling me over the counter, and you’d fuck up into me while you watched my face in the mirror,’ you said, glancing over at it as if you could conjure yourself there by sheer force of will.

He groaned, long and low. There you were, his filthy girl.

‘Baby…’ he gasped, not even sure what he was trying to tell you. You whined anyway, nodding your head at him, as you angled the phone to show him your fingers dancing fast over your clit now.

‘Come home, Joel,’ you groaned. ‘Don’t wanna come without your cock in me again.’

‘Again?’ he asked. ‘You been touchin’ y’self, baby?’

‘So much,’ you confessed, breathless. ‘So wet for you all day, can barely concentrate at work. Gotta…take care of it.’

He gasped. ‘She want it that bad?’ he asked, genuine surprise lacing his words.

‘I want you that bad,’ you replied, earnest. ‘Don’t you know, Joel?’

‘I didn’t…’ he said, feeling something swell bright and warm behind his chest. ‘I thought…I don’t know, thought you might be…after Frankie’n all, and these little phone things…’

Your hand stilled between your legs, focussing in again on what he was trying to communicate. He’d shifted his phone back to his face and you could see him examining you, like he was scanning for some kind of trick, for a lie.

‘Thought maybe I wasn’t…it wasn’t enough for ya, just when it’s…when it’s you and me.’

You let his words settle for a moment, as if you could make them make sense if you gave them enough time to marinate.

‘Baby, I love when it’s just us,’ you said, genuine confusion on your face. ‘I love the phone stuff, and the Frankie thing was…great, of course it was…but that’s just cherry on the top stuff, Baby. You’re the…the meal I want, any time, any day of the week.’

You could see him enough, just in the hint of light in the car window, that he had stopped moving too, was letting your words wash over him.

‘I worried I’d been…neglectin’ ya.’

‘You’re busy, Joel, and you have a lot of responsibilities on the jobsite. I know that, and I love that about you.’

‘Even if it takes me away from ya sometimes?’ he asked, and you could see it, then, that he was open to you in this moment, that he was somehow more your Joel than ever right now, this Joel that he only ever allowed you to see.

‘My sweet man,’ you said, wanting to reach into the screen and land a kiss on his brow. ‘I miss you, of course I do, but I ain’t mad about it when I can see it matters to you. That it makes you happy.’

He was quiet, gazing at you, like he couldn’t let himself believe it.

‘You wouldn’t want me not to work at the hospital, right?’ you prompted.

‘Course not, baby, you worked so hard f’that, and I’m prouda you.’

‘Right,’ you said. He considered this for a moment.

‘Ah, fuck,’ he said, huffing out a laugh. ‘M’a damn fool.’

You giggled, feeling the tension break.

‘My fool,’ you reminded him.

‘Stay there, Babygirl,’ he said suddenly, the phone shifting as he abruptly hung up. You blinked, double checking the phone to ensure that he definitely disconnected. You were about to call him back, thinking maybe the call dropped, before you heard the front door open and slam shut, heavy footfalls on the steps you knew instantly to be his.

‘Joel?’ you called in surprise as he pulled open the bathroom door, panting a little and his cheeks red. ‘Where…how did you…’

‘Was in the garage,’ he said, blushing slightly as he grabbed a towel and pulled you to stand.

‘You were…why?’

‘The phone thing, thought it’d be…y’know, hot like last time.’

‘I mean, it was. You were in the garage?’

‘Sshh, baby,’ he said, planting a kiss on your lips to quiet you as he wrapped you in the towel and pulled you from the bath, his hand sliding gently underneath to rest on your butt. ‘I was being’ dumb, but I’ll make it up t’ya.’

You barely had time to consider what he meant before he had you up over his shoulder, spanking you lightly as you squawked, your wet skin dampening his shirt. He carried you and dropped you heavy on the bed, his cock prominent and tenting in his pants as he gazed down at you, your towel having come loose in the commotion, your sweet little cunt peeping out from between your thighs as your legs fell open.

‘Such a sight, my beautiful girl,’ he said, allowing himself a moment to drink in the view before he got down on his knees on the carpet, ignoring the strain of the joint. ‘Been thinkin’ about this delicious pussy for days, for weeks, for m’whole life it feels like,’ he grumbled, and you gasped as he pulled your legs apart at the knees, slinging one over his shoulder and opening you up for him.

‘Drippin’ for me,’ he observed, running his nose over your slit, parting your folds with it as he puffed hot air across your gathering slick.

‘Baby,’ you whimpered, grasping for his hair with your hands. ‘Please, God, please…’

‘Sssh, I gotchya baby, I know,’ he comforted, holding you for just a moment longer in this torture, enjoying the way you were already squirming for him. You sighed as you felt his tongue finally lick a path up your folds, his nose still pressing gentle into your clit.

He lapped at you, pulsing need settling in his core as he considered himself having come home in this moment, having nestled in the warmth and sweet softness of your cunt, from which he never wished to depart. He felt the fluttering squeeze of your walls on his tongue, trying to pull him in, and he smiled, extending his tongue to fuck up inside you. Your slick overflowing from his mouth he savoured your sweet nectar, the grip of your thighs around his ears enough to tell him he was doing a good job.

You gasped as he moved, shifting to slide first one finger and then a second into your core. You felt yourself stretch even now, his thick fingers not even a fraction of the true heft of him, feeling the burn and the stretch and still the pulsing ache for his cock inside you, for him to properly split you, to mould you to him from the inside out. You keened as he suckled sweet and tight at your clit, his fingers scissoring now inside you, pushing at your walls as he hooked them towards your navel.

‘Oh, fuck…’ you muttered, clutching for him now, trying to draw him into you by the scalp. ‘Jesus, Joel, baby it’s so…’

‘Fuck,’ he mumbled, coming up for air for just a moment. ‘Those fuckin’ sounds you make, baby,’ he groaned, remembering how you moaned when Frankie slid his cock in your throat as he watched, remembering your sweet little gasps as he ate you, as Joel gripped himself and imagined it was him, imagined it was this moment, with you powerless from the pleasure he was wringing from you with his mouth, with his hands.

But you were shaking your head now, trying to push him away as he grunted, attempted to resist.

‘No, no…’ you were muttering, your head lolling from side to side.

‘Just give me this one, baby,’ he instructed.

‘Don’t wanna come yet,’ you complained, genuinely worried the pleasure would end you, grind the planet to a halt, make it fall off its axis and hurtle humanity into the tumbling dark. ‘Too good! Too good, Joel, oh God.’

Joel chuckled, only increasing the pace of his fingers inside you, preparing you for a third. ‘Just gimme this one, baby, and then y’can come on m’cock, promise,’ he swore, all earnest and feigned concern as if he wasn’t systematically taking you apart.

You could feel it, the twisting of the spring in your core, your abdomen tightening as you rolled your hips. You could feel the heat clawing up your chest, your cheeks burning, as he pushed his third finger hope. You heard yourself cry out, clawing at him, as he latched his mouth back to your clit, drawing it between his teeth and nibbling in a way that set every nerve ending ablaze.

You weren’t going to be able to stop it. He was going to make you come, and he wasn’t going to give you a choice. You felt the pleasure seize you, your body going rigid, overwrought as you felt tears slip onto your cheeks.

‘Joel!’ you gasped, one last attempt to implore him for mercy, before you felt the cord snap, the crash of your release as you fell over the edge, your eyes screwed shut as you rode his hand, your cunt caught in his beautiful, unforgiving mouth.

He watched you arc, your back rising from the bed as you rode out your pleasure, doing his best to keep his mouth on you as your hips rolled. He would never get tired of this, would work his fingers to the bone every day if it meant he could come home every night and tease these sounds from you, make you spasm for him, drink down your slick like it was the essence of life itself.

You hadn’t even really come down yet, your breath still in rapid gasps, your body still boneless beneath him, as he rolled you, pulling you by the hips onto all four and helping you lean your forehead to the mattress to steady you. Presenting your cunt to him this way, your folds blooming out from between the top of your thighs, your thighs stretched and your tits swaying beneath you. This was how he would keep you if he could, wet and gasping for him, splayed out and soon to be full of him, keep you leaking him on the bed of a daytime while he worked just to bring home sparking diamonds to lay in your upturned palms.

You were a fucking goddess like this, he thought. He wanted to show you.

You were dimly aware of his movements behind you, of his body reaching over you, his back on yours, as he slipped something cold and hard into your hand.

‘Look, baby,’ he said, as you lifted your head from the mattress to examine the phone he had given you. It was ringing. A Facetime call from him.

Without really understanding you answered, a sudden and lurid view of your cunt greeting you on the screen. You shifted, glancing down to see his phone, camera up, resting on the mattress between your knees.

‘Watch me stretch her, baby. Watch ‘er takin’ me,’ he grunted, and you shivered, eyes glued to the phone as his cock slid into frame. You jumped, a little giggle escaping you, as you felt it brush against your slit as you watched on the little screen.

‘Lookit how she’s drippin’,’ Joel praised from behind you, his hands settling on your hips as he leaned over your shoulder, watching his cock press firm against your folds. ‘Watch me slip inside ya,’ he preened, almost proud of his ingenuity and his irrevocably filthy mind.

He pushed forward, the tip slipping between your folds, the little pinch of resistance making you gasp before your pussy opened up to let him in. You watched on the screen as his cock pulsed, thrumming with the need for you, the throb of the shaft. You gasped, almost shocked by the intimacy of it.

‘Such a beautiful cock,’ you gasped, not even really hearing yourself, as Joel chuckled. He pressed forward again, easing himself in and letting you stretch. Your head flopped forward, the searing heat of him almost too much to bear, before you felt him gently grip your hair and raise your head again.

‘Uh-uh, baby, want you watchin’,’ he admonished and you whimpered, nodding your head.

‘I’ll be a…’ you groaned as your cunt clamped down on him, the fluttering waves of want temporarily stealing the words from you. ‘…be your good girl,’ you finished, and you heard Joel groan.

‘Yeah, you fuckin’ will be,’ he grit out, shoving the last few inches in to your greedy little cunt as it grasped him. ‘Be my good fuckin’ girl, watchin’ me fuck ya.’

You whimpered, nodding again, feeling his hand return to your hip as the other slipped underneath you to hold the heft of your tit in his palm, rolling the nipple between his fingertips and sending shivers of pleasure to your core.

On the screen you watched as your cunt swallowed him, your eyes widening at the realisation you had managed to take him all the way in, his balls settling heavy on your folds as he rocked his hips. You watched as he withdrew slightly, his shaft creamy with your slick and you groaned, feeling it clamp down on him, drawing him further into you, not willing to let him slide away.

Joel couldn’t look away, your puffy little cunt split open by his shaft, your slick gathering at your thighs and dripping, sliding over your skin towards the phone between your knees. He made a few experimental thrusts, testing the angle, making sure he wouldn’t move the phone out of the way, before he reared back and stuffed himself into you, feeling the power in it when you gasped, throwing your head back to stare, almost unseeing, at the ceiling above you.

‘Doin’ so good f’me,’ he grunted, leaning down to whisper into your ear, eyes still glued to the screen where he split you open. From this angle he could piston his hips and watch your butt jiggle from the front and your cunt swallow him whole from underneath. He wished he had a camera on your face, on your bouncing tits, wished he could see the fucked out look in your eyes as he fucked up into you, mercilessly chasing your high, and then his.

You were babbling, you were dimly aware, but you had lowered your head again to watch as he fucked you, to watch his rock-hard cock disappear inside you, and you couldn’t keep track of the words as they left your mouth.

‘Fuck, it’s so good,’ you whimpered.

‘So good t’me, baby,’ Joel replied, his breath coming in sharp pants as he felt the throb of his cock, the weight of it hard and throbbing, almost aching, as he sawed into you. ‘Missed this tight little pussy, missed this wet cunt.’

‘Missed…you…’ you whimpered between his harsh thrusts, gripping the phone in one hand and the sheets in the other. ‘Don’t stop, please Joel, don’t stop…’

‘I know baby, I know my sweet girl,’ he babbled, feeling his own release rushing towards him but determined you could get yours first. ‘Takin’ me so good.’

He slipped his hand from your hip and reached around, seeing his fingers appear on the screen as he made tight, fast circles on your clit. He watched as you shuddered, your hips rolling as you squeezed him, your fluttering walls gripping him tight and wet.

‘Look at that…’ he muttered to himself, transfixed by the flex of your cunt as it took his thrusts. He could see your slick, the creamy proof of your pleasure, spread over his shaft.

You cried out, overstimulated but still wanting more, afraid again that the towering wall of pleasure he was hurting towards would be too much, too intense, that it would shatter you somehow. Something was building, something essential and something different to anything you’d ever felt before, and it scared you enough to try to warn him.

‘Joel…’ you tried, words so hard to find behind the blinding frenzy he had you in.

‘You can take it, look how pretty you take it,’ he said as you cried out for him again.

‘It’s too much, I can’t…’ you pleaded.

To your utter devastation, the stroke of his cock stopped. You let out a whine, the sudden absence of his thrusts nearly enough to break you entirely. You heard him chuckle. ‘Y’sure about that, baby?’ he asked, and you shook your head ‘no’, your whole body taught and grasping.

‘No, no, no…’ you gritted out.

‘Want me to keep fuckin’ ya?’ he asked, pretending again that he wasn’t taunting you with his cock buried deep in your cunt.

‘Yes!’ you gasped, nodding your head so hard he worried you’d pull something. ‘Please, m’sorry, please….’ You cried, tears pooling again at your cheeks.

‘Ok, baby, just bein’ mean t’ya,’ he grinned. He resumed his thrusts, at the same brutal pace as before. You crashed, immediately, spasming hard around his cock as you gasped, shocked at the strength of it, the pleasure knocking every thought out of you brain as you spasmed, taking huge lung-fulls of air just to scream them out again.

‘Oh fuck, baby, oh my God…’ Joel gasped behind you, but you were too far gone to really hear him, to respond to him, as your hips rolled, as the heat of your cunt exploded around you, as the pleasure ricocheted up your nervous system and into your addled, overcome brain.

You gathered yourself just enough to raise your head, watching on the screen as Joel’s shaft throbbed, pumping wave after wave of come inside you, watching as it spilt from around his cock and out of your dripping cunt. Listened to his gasps, his throaty moans as his thrusts lost all rhythm, as he pumped you full of his spend, his cock throbbing and pulsing as he shot his load into your waiting cunt.

--

For a long moment, neither of you were able to move. Panting above you, his legs suddenly jelly, Joel only had the presence of mind enough to end the call before he took you by the hips and eased you down, gently to the mattress.

You hovered somewhere between wakefulness and unconsciousness, the gentle throb of your cunt receding as you caught your breath. You felt the bed shift underneath you as Joel moved but you couldn’t lift your head, barely flinching when you felt a warm washcloth dabbed gently at your entrance. You realised you were feeling cold, and you opened your eyes long enough to see the large wet patch underneath you.

‘Baby, did I…?’ you asked but he shushed you, his arms coming presently to pull you into his body as he lifted you up the bed, tucking you under the blankets and sliding in beside you.

You burrowed yourself into him, finding your place beneath his chin as he nestled you in beside him. You drifted, warm in his arms.

‘I like the phone thing,’ you said, the thought coming into your head and leaving your mouth almost simultaneously.

‘Mmm,’ Joel agreed, sleep pulling insistently at his sleeves.

‘Don’t need it, though,’ you affirmed, and you felt Joel nod his head above you. After the last hour he couldn’t remember why he thought you had.

‘Just need you,’ he mumbled, the warmth of your body against him making his muscles go slack.

You both drifted in the weightlessness before sleep.  

‘S’fun though,’ he muttered, to which you could only agree.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

I Don’t Like Myself Today

Summary: Dean finds the reader upset about a book but it turns out, it has nothing to do with the book and everything to do with what they think they deserve...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,400ish

Warnings: language, brief mentioned nudity, self-image issues

A/N: Enjoy! 

_____

You were sat staring at your computer screen, swallowing thickly. You did it again and once more, the wetness on the edge of your eyes receding for the moment. After a few seconds you reminded yourself to breathe, take a deep breath, even if your skin felt tight and there was the threat of a headache in your temples. It was simply the congestion though and it’d pass quickly. 

You swallowed once more, the threat of tears averted for the moment, just in time too as Dean walked into the bedroom.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked as he ducked into the master bathroom.

“Paying bills. Balancing the checkbook,” you said, going back to your credit card tab you had open on the computer and hitting submit. You logged it down in your spreadsheet, Dean walking out naked and whistling as he ducked behind you and over to the closet. 

“You want to get takeout? I don’t feel like running to the grocery store. It’s nearly seven already.”

“Sure,” you said, Dean exiting the closet in his flannel pajama pants and a hoodie. “What’d you have in mind?”

“Pizza?”

“Wasn’t there that new Mexican place you wanted to check out? It had fried something?”

“The fried chalupas? Yeah. Let’s try that,” he said. He pulled up a menu on his phone, laying back on the bed and scrolling as you checked off items in your spreadsheet. “I’m gonna get the nachos, these battered chalupa gimmick things, a few tacos and quesadillas?”

“Sounds good,” you said. He was quiet a few minutes before the bed creaked and you knew he was sat up. 

“How’d we do this month?” he asked.

“We have two hundred extra for savings,” you said.

“Sweet. I told you that Costco membership would pay for itself,” he said. “Maybe we can take a little trip with what we’ve been saving up when the weather gets nicer.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” you said, stretching in your chair. “How long til the food gets here?”

“Forty minutes,” he said. “I gotta drive to pick it up.”

“If you want to be a real babe, you could maybe make-”

“I’m making brownies, don’t you worry,” he said, ruffling your head. “We got box mix?”

“Yeah. Oh and put the crumbled up Oreos in this time. That was real good,” you said.

“Care to supervise?” he asked with a smirk.

“I want to clean up the file a bit and take a shower quick after work all day. But I will definitely sit on the couch eating that entire tray with you later.”

“Alright,” he said, humming as he headed for the door. “There’s a clean black shirt of mine on the counter in the bathroom if you’re so inclined…”

“I’m always inclined,” you said. You smiled and went back to your spreadsheet, frowning once you’d heard Dean leave. You went to Amazon and moved the book out of the cart, deleting it and ordering more of Dean’s granola bars he liked instead. 

You added it to your spreadsheet, backing out the number in one column, adding it in another. You sighed and slammed the computer shut. 

You were halfway undressed in the bathroom when you caught your face in the mirror. You looked ready to cry. You swallowed when you heard Dean outside of the door, the thing opening after a moment. Dean smiled but you knew he wasn’t exactly happy.

“Why didn’t you buy that book you wanted, sweetheart?” 

“I didn’t want it after all. It doesn’t have great reviews on other sites,” you said, putting your back to him.

“You know the thing about this spreadsheet being a shared document? I can see the changes you make. Like you not spending any of your fun money and then calling it savings. The book was seven dollars, Y/N.”

“I didn’t want the stupid book, Dean.”

“It’s been in the cart for two weeks. We can afford it. Are you stressed out about money?”

“No. I make plenty and you make plenty at the construction place and-”

“You barely let me give you a box of chocolate for Valentine’s when you got me a whole bunch of car stuff that was ten times the cost and-”

“I don’t need a book. There’s plenty of books around here. Geez. Stop analyzing every little thing. You’re not a hunter anymore.”

“Yeah and I didn’t notice it as much before cause you never used the Charlie card and you used your fakes and I got it. But you won’t spend seven dollars on a book. You got mad at a five dollar box of chocolates. You-”

“I would rather you put that money towards a vacation,” you said.

“You’d rather it not be spent on you. I mean how many times have I seen you saying I want a new winter jacket and then you wear your same old one that’s been stitched more times than I have.”

“What do you want me to say, Dean. Just come out and say it.”

“Why don’t you think you deserve to spend money on yourself? Even seven dollars, even when it’s in the budget. I just want to know what’s going on sweetheart.”

“I don’t need-”

“I know you. What’s-”

“I don’t like me,” you spat out. “I don’t and today’s not great and I’m not buying something stupid for myself when we could use that money on something more important.”

“The most important thing in the world to me is you.”

“I don’t want to fight, Dean.”

“Neither do I,” he said. He walked over slowly and rested his hands on your arms, sliding down them to pull them around his back. You breathed deeply into his shirt, his arms trapping you in a warm embrace. “I like you.”

“I know you do, De. I have a hard time...it’s hard to buy something nice for yourself when you don’t like yourself that day.”

“New rule. You spend your fun money every month and if you don’t, I’m just gonna buy stuff for you with it.”

“It’s not that simple,” you said, Dean’s chin resting on your shoulder.

“I know. But it’s a start. You don’t have a problem spending money, just on you you do. So, forget about deserving or not deserving. Cause you do, even days you don’t like you. But days you don’t, tell me. Please. I promise extra cuddles.”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask,” he said. “Now take your shower, relax, and when you get out, I’ll be back with the food, alright?”

“Okay,” you said.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said. He kissed your cheek and you gave him a half smile. “Careful driving.”

“Be back soon sweetheart.”

You were just putting the brownies in the oven an hour later when Dean walked in with a takeout bag. He frowned and you held up your hands.

“Baking relaxes me,” you said.

“You’re lucky I know that’s true,” he said. He set the bag down at the counter, smiling as he reached into his coat pocket. He took out a book and turned it around, holding it out to you.

“You got this from that bookstore next door,” you said, smiling and taking it from him. “Dean…”

“Only six dollars there too,” he said with a chuckle.

“I’m sorry I am this way,” you said as he washed up. He hit off the water and dried his hands, cocking his head.

“Sorry? I thought I already told you, I really really like you, just the way you are. I’d like it if you liked you too cause she’s pretty awesome but I will like for us both on the bad days just like you do on mine.”

“You got all domestic, Dean,” you said, setting book down and giving him a hug.

“And I love it,” he said, giving you a kiss. “Come on, sweetheart. Eat up while it’s hot.”

________

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Ch. 28

Story summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi

Chapter Summary: Photo shoot day. This ship is leaving the harbor. 

Previous Chapter here

It was still dark out when you got up. Your joints ached as you made your way to the kitchen and got your coffee. You walked over and opened the curtain slightly. In the early morning darkness you could make out snow flurries making their way to the ground. You pressed a hand against the glass, feeling the cold seep through. A chill went through you. You were glad you had ordered the extra waterproof equipment for today. 

You looked back and over towards the stairs. Yoongi would be able to sleep for two more hours before he needed to be at the trailer. BigHit had rented an area of park about 15 minutes outside of Seoul. You hoped traffic would go smoothly given the snowfall and that everything would be on time. The trailer company had already confirmed with you last night. Now all that was left was ensuring the trucks got appropriately loaded with the equipment. You got dressed and headed to the loading docks. 

The sun started to rise an hour later after you, the lighting, and the photography crew had made sure all of the equipment had been loaded. You then sent a message with directions to the head of catering and grabbed the clothing and accessory trunks. Satisfied, and sweaty, you hopped into the van and let the driver know you were ready.

The trip up into the mountains was a little bit scary, to be honest. The fresh snow crunched beneath the tires. As if sensing your nervousness, the driver reassured you, “We’ll just take our time. I drive in snow all the time.” You gave him a grateful smile but did not loosen your grip on the handle above the door.  “I can’t believe this didn’t get canceled.” He continued.

“Yeah, me either,” you agreed. You continued to monitor your phone. There were so many moving pieces that went into this shoot. It was difficult enough when everything was on-site. Having it in a location off-property and outdoors was immensely more difficult. You were glad to see the trailers were actually set up and running when you arrived. You had ordered a restroom trailer and a production trailer. Both generators were running smoothly. You checked in with the photography and lighting crew before unloading the van. 

You set up all of the clothing and accessories in the back room of the production trailer.  Hoseok had sent you photos of what each outfit was supposed to look like along with little notes. On the plus side, it was very nice and warm. It was small, but the space was manageable enough for 2-3 people. On the downside, it made going back outside suck even more. You walked back through the rest of the trailer, making sure the galley was prepared for the catering crew. Photography had their own section to review any footage without getting frostbite.

You took a deep breath and looked around. Yes. This could work. The sun was over the horizon now. You went out to help set up heat lamps.

At around 9 am the rest of the staff showed up: catering, stylists, and various assistants. You quickly assigned jobs to the assistants and showed the caterers to the galley. 

“Hey lady!” Alice waved as she exited the van. “It’s been a minute. What have you been up to?” She reached back in and produced two coffees, walking towards you with one. 

“Oh my goodness. Thank you. Thank you. You know. The same. Working. Helping Jimin prepare for the auction.” You took a sip of the coffee. “This is delicious.”

“Right?” Alice smiled, “I asked the driver if she would mind stopping at a real coffee shop and it turns out she was also burned out on BigHit house blend so we did. It’s so cold.” She shivered.

“Yeah. Well, you will be in the trailer to get started. Yoongi will be coming straight here so nothing will be done.”

Alice giggled, “Oooo, bed head Yoongi.” She turned around as you heard another car door shut. “You hear that Bongcha?”

What. the. Fuck.

“Hey!” Bongcha greeted you. “Ugh it’s so cold.” She wiggled and took a sip of her coffee. “Bed head Yoongi? Sign me up.”

You felt your eye twitch ever so slightly. You took out your phone, “Yeah he should be awake now. I’ll text him to check.” How to ask this tactfully, “Hey Bongcha. I thought Jessi was on make-up today.”

“She was, but she started to feel sick last night and asked if I’d cover for her. Of course I said yes.” She smiled

You swallowed your pride, “Awesome, well thank you so much. I really appreciate you stepping up. Like I said, you two will be in the trailer to start out. Yoongi’s room is in the very back, feel free to set up in there.” You gestured to the production trailer. 

“Great, thanks!” Alice said, walking around to the back of the van. You directed some of the assistants to help the ladies take their equipment inside.

YN: You up?

YG: No :p

YN: omg never call me a brat again. It’s freezing out here by the way

YG: What happened to “the snow is so pretty. I love winter. It’s the best”

YN: I like snow. I hate cold. Status?

YG: leaving now see you soon

YN: You gonna drink hot coffee today?

YG: never

You smiled and put your phone back in your pocket. Watching your breath become air you turned and looked at the set. It was all coming together; you had done it. It had fortunately stopped snowing for now, but unfortunately, your feet were soaked. You didn’t own waterproof shoes.  Oh well, you thought as you felt the cold begin to creep into your feet. This too shall pass.

You checked in with the crew members directing them to the hot beverage station which you had asked catering to set up outside. A floor had also been placed down under a canopy to provide a brief respite from any precipitation. Several people were taking turns standing in front of the heating lamps. “Thanks so much for ordering these!” “I can’t believe we’re shooting today.” You heard several times from the production crew. 

Finally you saw a car pull up that had to belong to Yoongi. You were surprised to see that he had driven himself. You had definitely requested a driver for him. You walked over, waiting for him to get his bag out and open the door.  He got out and mumbled a hello. He was wearing a hat, scarf, facemask, gloves, and long coat.

You smiled, “Hiding from the cold? A good strategy.”

“I hate this.” He said as he walked past you.

“I know.” You followed him, falling in step beside him. “But, look: you have a fancy trailer. And a fancy trailer to pee in. And your skin looks so refreshed and hydrated.”

You heard him laugh behind the fabric, “Yeah thanks, someone assaulted me with face lotion last night.”

“Assault? Please. Anyways, your room is in the back of the trailer. Alice and Bongcha are waiting for you, I have your outfits organized.” 

Yoongi stopped, “I thought I told you not to...you know.” He widened his eyes and trailed off as the two of you were surrounded by people. 

“I did what you asked me, and it couldn’t be helped. I’m sorry, I just found out.” You shivered. The sun had briefly escaped behind a smattering of gray clouds.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, clearly even more pissed off than he had been. “Yeah. Great. Where are your clothes?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, confused.

He gestured to you. “It’s -3.”

“I don’t have many winter clothes. Besides. It’s not so bad in the sun.”

Yoongi sighed in annoyance and took off his hat. He unceremoniously pulled it down onto your head, covering your eyes.  

“Hey...” you whined as you moved your hands up to fix it. When you did, Yoongi was already at the door of the trailer and going inside. You sighed and enjoyed the added warmth of the grey hat. It was extra toasty since Yoongi had inadvertently prewarmed it for you. You decided to go try and nonchalantly put your feet in front of one of the heaters and hope your shoes would dry out.

“45 minutes. 45 minutes left til go.” You yelled as you headed over to the awning. You plopped down into one of the camp chairs you had rented and took out your phone.

Jimin: Good luck today. I'll be sending you warm thought :(

YN: Thanks my dude. It’s fucking freezing out here. 

You snapped a selfie making a sad face.

JM: Yeah it snowed a lot last night. Omg you have Yoongi’s hat. So cute. Invite me to the wedding

YN: *eyeroll* I’ll invite you to your funeral *angry face*

JM: ahahahahahahahahahaha You smiled and answered a few emails.

WWH: Where are yooooooooo gggggguuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyssss. Yoongi won’t answer meeeeee :(

YN: Photoshoot all day. Sorry. Maybe we can hang this weekend.

YN: Jin is sad you won’t text him back. 

You sent a screenshot of Jin’s messages.

YG: WWH? 

YN: World Wide Handsome.

YG:.........user does not exists error 404

YN: ???????

YG: This number has been disconnected

Oh my God, you laughed. Putting your phone back into your pocket you decided to go make the rounds on the set and ensure when Yoongi came outside things could move quickly. The first set was with a sleigh. You walked through the blocking with the head photographer and checked with the propmaster to make sure the correct items were in and around it. Satisfied you went to the trailer. The door to the back room was open so you stopped at the doorway and watched. 

Alice had blown Yoongi’s hair back, exposing his forehead. Bongcha was done applying foundation and was lightly lining the corners of his eyes. He flicked them over towards you suddenly. 

“Go away, I’m mad at you.” Yoongi deadpanned

The two girls laughed.

“You two also. When you’re done with my make-up you can leave.” He pointed to the door while pouting. 

Clearly you had missed something.  “Oh? Yeah? Are you mad about the fancy trailer or the coffee station? I need to know.” You put a hand on your hip.

“I think he’s jealous of World Wide Handsome. He’s been going on and on about it. He was trying to get us to disagree, but we can’t.” Alice laughed. “I’m getting ready to spray, hold your breath if you’re sensitive.” 

Bongcha used her hand to shield Yoongi’s eyes as Alice applied the hairspray. 

You rolled your eyes as they all giggled. “Whatever. Your first shot is with the sleigh so it needs to have that Christmassy vibe. It’s this outfit here,” You walked in and gently shimmied behind the other girls, pulling the outfit and accessory bag off the garment rack. You sat down on the couch next to Yoongi. You turned and left the room.

“YN I’m just kidding!” You heard Yoongi yell. Whatever. He was right. Today sucked. You continued on outside, giving another countdown. A few minutes later Bongcha and Alice exited the trailer, presumably to let Yoongi change. They walked over towards you. Ugh. Not today. 

“How has everyone else been to Jin’s apartment but not me?” Bongcha whined as they approached you.

Alice laughed, “WelI was only there to work and do his girlfriend’s make-up. It was awful.”

“Ex-girlfriend though,” You clarified.

Bongcha sighed, “We’ll see how long it lasts this time. They do this a lot.”

“Oh. that sucks.”

“Yeah. Especially since Alice has the world’s biggest crush on him.” Bongcha teased.

“Shut up.” Alive gently shoved her. “Anyways...YN. I need to know. And I won’t be mad. Do you have a crush on Jin?”

You were dumbfounded. Why did people keep asking you that? “Um no?”

“Are you sure? Because you can tell me. I mean. I’ll fight you for him because I’ve liked him a long time and may the best girl win.”

You laughed, “Alice. I definitely definitely don’t like Jin. He’s like a goofy older brother to me. I’m just glad Yoongi has a friend.” 

Bongcha sighed, “It’s just our fate in life to pine after the men of BigHit,” She looked dreamily over at the production trailer.

“Sorry,” Alice said. “Yoongi mentioned Jin was in your phone as world wide handsome so I just got super paranoid.”

You blinked several times and then started to laugh. “Ahahaha no. That’s just how he talks and it makes me laugh. I mean. I understand that he is objectively a good-looking guy. But so are most of the guys we work with soooo…”

“Yeah. But Yoongi is definitely the cutest.” Bongcha sighed. “And he’s so sweet. He even let you borrow his hat today.” She smiled.

“Yep. He’s very thoughtful.” You added, careful to watch what you said. You felt slightly sick to your stomach. You saw the door to the trailer open. Yoongi had his coat on over the first outfit. He scanned the set and headed over to talk to the director of photography. You waited a few minutes before heading that way. 

"Perfect timing YN," Yoongi said. He slipped his coat off and put it around your shoulders. "Keep this warm for me." Before you could object he headed over towards the sleigh. 

Dammit. The coat was warm. You crossed your arms in front of you, pulling the fabric around you. Bongcha and Alice went in for touch ups and then the photography began. 

After the second set another round of snowfall began. You were thankful that so far Yoongi hadn't asked for his coat back. Your feet were thoroughly soaked. Everything on set seemed to be in order. The snow crunched beneath your feet as you made your way over to the production trailer. You headed into the back room and shut the door. Removing your socks and shoes you pressed your cold, pruny foot between your hands, hoping it would warm up. It did help, but you began to dread putting your socks back on. Dammit. 

You heard the door handle turn and looked up. Fortunately it was just Yoongi so far, not the girls. 

"Hey. Sorry, I'll get out of here." you said, starting to collect your things. 

"What's wrong with your feet?" Yoongi asked with a concerned look on his face. 

"Oh. I guess some snow got into my boots. They’re fine. Just cold." You half lied. 

Yoongi picked up one of your socks. "This is soaked. You can't put this back on." He gave the sock a disgusted look and jettisoned it across the room.

“No!!!! That’s my only sock. Yoongi I have to.” You got up to try and find it. “I don't have other ones. There's not even extra Gucci socks from the clothing trunk I can steal.” You started digging around between the couch and end table with your ass unceremoniously in the air.  

Yoongi smirked at first, “Well it's going to keep snowing.” He sighed. “Just stay in here the rest of the shoot.” 

You turned around, your face red from being upside down. “No. I'm your assistant. I need to be out there helping.” You were clearly upset.

Yoongi took out his phone and side eyed you. “Calm down. Just wait. We're taking a break anyways. 30 minutes. OK? I’ll be back.” He shut the door as he turned around. 

Yoongi dialed the number and walked over towards the door. There weren’t many shoes to sort through so he found yours quickly. He frowned as he felt how soaked they were and checked the bottom. The person finally picked up the phone.

Hobi’s voice was high pitched, tinged with concern. "You're calling me? Is everything OK?" 

"No.” Yoongi tried to keep his voice low as he walked over to his car for some privacy “We're at this fucking snow infested shoot and YN doesn't have waterproof shoes and her feet are going to get frostbite. Her socks and shoes are soaked." 

Hoseok could see where this was going. "Where is the shoot?" 

"It's only like 15 minutes away. Maybe 20 with the snow. She wears a 255" Yoongi opened his car door and got inside.

 Hobi couldn't resist, he ran his tongue along his lips. "And what do I get for this favor?" 

Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, "Whatever you want. I don't have  a lot of time before we start shooting."  He stopped in annoyance, the hair product sticking to his fingers.

Hoseok closed his eyes and smiled. The satisfaction of his suspicions being true felt good. "I tease. I like YN, I don't want her to get frostbite, I'm doing this for her. No favor necessary." 

“Thanks. I’ll send you the coordinates.” Yoongi hung up the phone and texted Hobi.  He leaned his head back against the headrest. Namjoon was making them do this to punish him, he was sure. There was no reason why this couldn’t have been moved back. He had done everything he had been asked to do lately though. Even though, it turns out what he had been tasked with wasn’t difficult at all. He hadn’t intended to like this arrangement. He hadn’t intended to like you. And it was becoming more and more difficult for him to ignore the fact that he did. You were constantly on his mind.

He smiled as he thought back to last night. You were so cute.  Yoongi closed his eyes briefly, remembering the weight of your hand in his and the feeling of your fingers on his face. He wanted it to happen again again. He felt a warmth rush through his body. It was cut short when he heard the car door open, shaking him from his thoughts. He was annoyed for a half second until he saw you. Still wearing his hat. You were holding his coat. 

“Here, you can have your coat back.” You said, handing it to him like a blanket.

He briefly chewed on his lip, and looked forward again. “Jhope’s bringing you shoes.”

“What? He doesn’t need to do that. Yoongiiii”

“You will make a terrible assistant if we have to cut your feet off.” He replied dryly. He cleared his throat. “Why are you out here anyways? You’re supposed to be staying in the trailer where it’s warm. And not wearing those,” he gestured in disgust to your soaked shoes.

You rolled your eyes, “Bongcha is ready to touch up your make-up. We have ten minutes until the shoot starts again.”

The snow had covered most of the windshield at this point. Leaving the two of you with a half-covered view of the set.

Yoongi looked back out towards the snow, his breath visible as he confessed, “I just want to go home.”

“Me too. I don’t even want to play in the snow. You know how bad that is?” 

Yoongi turned to face you, “If you like the snow so much why don’t you have snow-proof shoes?”

You fidgeted, uncomfortable with the question. “Snow shoes are expensive. I gave mine to my aunt when I moved out. She still has to walk to work.” You pulled down your sleeves to make sweater paws. “I work in the building most of the time so I thought she should have them.” 

“Of course you did.” Yoongi shook his head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You said defensively.

“Calm down brat. It means you do a great job taking care of others.” He reached over and grabbed your hand. “But you need to do a better job taking care of yourself.”

You looked out the window, sure that your face was growing red. “Yeah. I guess.”

“I know it’s what you’ve had to do for a long time.” He took a deep breath as he forced himself to say the next part, “So I’ll take care of you until you get better at it.” He squeezed your hand and then let go. “Jhope should be here soon with your shoes and socks.” He placed the keys in the cup holder. “Turn the car on if you want.” He let himself out, leaving you to sit and think about what had just happened. NEXT CHAPTER @lidda​​​​  @anpanman-sonyeondan​​​​   @firefairy1​​​​  @cuteipat​​​​  @sugaslittlekookies​​​​  @janeelizabeth1216​​​ @deeepvibes​​​​ @gxldenhunny​​​​ @livelyjay​​​​ @bobbyboops​​​​ @honeysunandsoil​​​​ @deathkat657​​​​ @niniita-ah​​​​ @min-yus​​​​ @or-worse-expelled7​​​​ @black-rose-29​​​​ @storms-and-stars-blog​​   

[charmingradiobelle]

Into the Wilde

Harsh Reality

Another day, another 200 dollars. Despite the whole situation at Jumbeaux's Café, Finnick and I were able to stay on schedule and we sold enough popsicles to feed a whole slice of lemmings—which we did. It's the easiest money we made in a long time.

After selling the sticks to the foremen in Little Rodentia, Finnick and I drive back to an empty alley so we can split the money. I count the dollars as I hand them down to him, and once it's even I pocket my own share of the money, eating one of the leftover popsicles that I have kept for myself. Hey, this business isn't easy work, I deserve a little treat once in a while.

"Way to work that diaper, big guy." I say to Finnick as he takes off the elephant costume. He hops up into his van, saying nothing to me. He must be mad about what I did at the ice cream shop. Only one way to be sure. "Hey, no kiss bye-bye for Daddy?" I tease him.

He spits out the pacifier as he slams the door shut, turning to me with a cold glare. Yep, he's mad. "You kiss me tomorrow, I'll bite your face off!" He warns, starting the van. He puts on a pair of shades and starts blasting his weird hip-hop music. "Ciao." He says more calmly before driving away.

I might have gone too far by making him cranky, but then again I can't recall a time when he's ever been, you know, happy. Well, now that work is done I guess all that's left for me to do is wander the streets for the millionth time.

But as I watch Finnick drive off, I suddenly hear a voice saying something to me. And as I turn my head, I see the bunny from earlier. Only this time she's not quite as friendly. She must've finally gotten wise and realize what really happened at the café.

"Well, I stood up for you, and you lied to me." She says, stomping her foot. "You liar!"

I'm not intimidated by her, if anything her anger is kind of amusing. "It's called a hustle, sweetheart." I say simply. But then I try to act innocent and shift blame to someone else, "And I'm not the liar. He is!" I point in the other direction. The second she looks away, I bolt.

Well, I almost get away with it. But I don't turn the corner fast enough and I can hear her shouting. She catches up to me quickly and walks by my side, but I barely even glance at her. "Alright slick Nick, you're under arrest!"

"Really? For what?" I ask, chewing on what's left of my popsicle. This should be good.

"Gee, I don't know. How about selling food without a permit, transporting undeclared commerce across borough lines, false advertising..." She lists off. Damn, what a shame for her that she wouldn't get to see any excitement today. Does she really think this is my first day on the job?

I pull out the certificate from my pocket and hold it up in front of her face. "Permit," I turn it around, "receipt of declared commerce," I quickly pull it away, stopping in my path as we reach a crosswalk. "And I didn't falsely advertise anything. Take care."

"You told that mouse the popsicle sticks were redwood!" She accuses, pointing her finger at me.

Ah, she heard that. Well, it's still not false advertising, 'cause I wasn't wrong. I hand her my finished popsicle stick, "That's right. Red wood. With a space in the middle. Wood that is red."

The crosswalk light changes and I make my way across, yet she still follows me. I'm not sure why the conversation has to go on, but if that's how it has to be. "You can't touch me, Carrots. I've been doing this since I was born." I say to her, ignoring the group of wildebeest that's crossing the street as well.

"You're gonna wanna refrain from calling me 'Carrots'." The bunny says threateningly.

"My bad, I just naturally assumed you came from some little carrot-choked Podunk, no?" I look back at her, seeing she struggles to get through the wildebeest. I almost laugh, but she makes it out before it can become entertaining.

She catches back up to me as we reach the other side of the street. "Uh, no. Podunk is in Deerbrooke County and I grew up in Bunnyburrow." She says, weirdly proud of that. If she's still trying to be intimidating, it's not working.

I was right before, she's not from here, which explains a lot. And I guess she has yet to face disappointment. Well Carrots, prepare to have your mind blown.

"Okay, tell me if this story sounds familiar." I begin, snatching a few blueberries from a food stand. I'm pretty sure the bunny sees it, but I could care less. Stealing a couple berries isn't what's going to put me in jail. "Naive little hick with good grades and big ideas decides, 'Hey, look at me, I'm gonna move to Zootopia, where predators and prey live in harmony and sing Kumbaya'! Only to find—whoopsie," I turn around to look at her, still walking down the sidewalk. "We don't all get along. And that dream of becoming a big city cop? Double whoopsie! She's a meter maid."

I turn back around, but I catch a glimpse of her reaction. I must be right about this. I knew it.

"And whoopsie number three-sie, no one cares about her or her dreams. And soon enough those dreams die, and our bunny sinks into emotional and literal squalor, living in a box under a bridge. 'Til finally she has no choice but to go back home with that cute fuzzy-wuzzy little tail between her legs to become..." I pause, looking back at her once again. "You're from Bunnyburrow, is that what you said? So how about a carrot farmer?" I suggest, walking out from the little corner I didn't realize we walked into. "That sound about right?"

The bunny says nothing at first, but I know she's still trying to follow me. I hear her scramble around on the ground, avoiding being trampled by a bypassing rhino. "Be careful now," I warn her from a distance, "Or it won't just be your dreams getting crushed."

"Hey, hey!" She exclaims, running over to walk in front of me. "No one tells me what I can or can't be!" She declares, stopping in our path. It seems she doesn't realize there's wet cement under her. "Especially not some jerk who never had the guts to try to be anything more than a popsicle hustler!"

Eh, it's a lame comeback, but good effort. I bend down to her height so I can face her properly, giving her a smirk. "Alright look, everyone comes to Zootopia thinking they can be anything they want. Well, ya can't. You can only be what you are." I stand back up, gesturing between the two of us, "Sly fox, dumb bunny."

She glares at me, "I am not a dumb bunny."

The cement she's standing finally becomes noticeable, as now she sinks into it without even knowing—which just further proves my point.

"Right." I say, surprised she hasn't realized it yet. "And that's not wet cement."

She looks down in shock, and she's up to her knees in it by now. She tries to break loose, and it's hard not to laugh. But to be honest, I hardly laugh out loud at anything. It's more of an internal thing for me.

"You'll never be a real cop." I say as I walk passed the construction site. "You're a cute meter maid, though! Maybe a supervisor one day!" I look back at her one last time, turning behind a parked car, "Hang in there!"

Yes, I know it's a bit harsh. But she's going to find out eventually. This city crushes free-spirits like her, and I would know. I've seen it time and time again. It's not fair, but what about life is? Anyway, I had to give it to her straight. Sugarcoating doesn't do any good, and if she wants to be a city cop then she's going to have to face the music.

Besides, it's better she hears it from a stranger like me rather than someone who's opinion matters to her. And it's not like I'll ever have to see her again.

She is pretty cute, though. Too bad she's not my type.

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 11th, Wednesday 21:12

„So why did you actually move here in the first place?“

They had finished dinner and sat on the sofa in the livingroom. Empty plates and half filled wine glasses left forgotten on the low table infront of them. Lucas had found a bottle I n one of the cupboards, presenting it to Jens with a grin. They hadn’t found any candles though, so their joked about candle-light-dinner fell a bit short.

Lucas’s legs were thrown over Jens’s lap, as the boy rested his back against the side arm of the couch.

They had talked a lot about the online classes till now and the huge amount of homework they had gotten. Til Jens remembered that he wanted to ask Lucas so many more private things, that hadn’t felt right over the phone. He wanted to see Lucas in person when he did.

„Difficult topic.“ The boy said, leaning his head against the back rest, as he looked at Jens, but went on quietly regardless. Only pausing occasionally as he elaborated: „My mother takes part in a 9 month long drug trial here at the university hospital... She suffers from severe depression with a moderate form of psychosis... becasue why not. And they have a new treatment in development, that her doctor suggested could help her balance the chemicals in her brain, or something... So I told her, that I thought it was a good idea and that I wouldn’t let her go on her own. Obviously I’m also underage... Now, here we are.“

It evidently was hard for Lucas to talk about his family situation. And Jens was instantly reminded back to Robbe and how he had been there for his best friend two years ago, while everything went to shit with his mother, while he himself dealt with Jana and their break-up.

But this wasn’t the time to dwell on old memories. This here only involved Lucas.

So Jens strechted his arm out far enough, that his fingers could comb though the brown locks on Lucas’s head.

„Sorry to hear that. How is she doing?“

„Pretty good actually. I felt so lost with her back in Utrecht, but now that we are here and I don’t have to constantly worry over her, I feel much better. She is much more energetic and happy when we spend a day or two together. She asks more, listens more. She feels much more like a parent for once in a very long time.“ Lucas smiled at him, certainly looking content with his current situation until Jens hit him with the next question, his expression dropping into a frown.

„And where is your father?“

„He moved to Amsterdam after my mom broke down one day. They were fighting for years already and I don’t really mind him being out of my life, he was a bit far leaning on the conservative site.“ The dutch boy explained vaguely, certainly being done with this subject. On his part at least.

„What about your parents? You also only live with your mom, right?“

“Yup.“ Being on the recieving end of the question hurt definitely more. He wasn’t about to lie though to Lucas, as the boy had been so honest with him. He just wasn’t ready to talk about his mom yet. He didn’t know how to start.

„Only with my mom, yes. I haven’t seen my dad in years. I’m not even sure if Robbe remembers him. He was home at best a couple of month a year. He is not a bad man, he just never was made for settling down and family life, I suppose.“

„What do you mean?“ Lucas interrupted, watching Jens curiously from his position, his hand lightly kneading the older boy’s neck in circles. It was a very calming feeling.

„Well, he studied marine biology and after having done his PhD, with me being two, he started going on all sorts of expeditions. He always came back with the coolest stories and gifts. A real adventurer. I loved listening to him as a boy, Only when I grew older and Lotte was born did I notice under how much pressure my mom stood. She broke it off with him, when I was eleven. They never divorced, but the last time I heard of him was a postcard on my birthday two years ago from Tasmania.“ Jens shrugged. „I don’t even have an adress or a phone number to contact him, so... Not sure if it makes him an asshole or not.“

Truth be told, Jens never really had felt much regarding his absent father. He also didn’t really think much about him. He only ever felt sad for his mom having to handle everything on her own.

„Yeah, I don’t know either.“ Lucas said carefully, unsure of his response. Maybe he was afraid to say the wrong thing, or to hurt Jens? 

„Do you think he would have approved of us here?“ Lucas question caught him a bit off guard, until he remembered that the boy had told him his father to be „conservative“.

„I believe so, he was very much of the „live and let live“ attitude, as far as I can recall. And even if not, I don’t really care, because I get to cuddle and kiss this pretty boy right here.“

Lucas snorted at him, still sat straighter up and reaching over to kiss Jens, moving to settle on his lap.

„Do your friends know you are not straight?“ Lucas continued to ask, as his lips brushed along Jens’s jaw.

„No. I mean three weeks ago, I thought I was very straight.“ 

„Oh?“ Lucas feighned surprise and leaned his head back, his eyes searching for Jens’s gaze, as he grinned. „How come not now?“

„I haven’t the slightest clue. I may need something to remind me.“ Jens said, his arms wrapped around the body of Lucas, pulling him closer, his hips pushing up playfully into the other boy, who drew a sharp breath, his eyes falling shut.

If that wasn’t a beautiful sight to be seen.

„Jens.“ Lucas whispered nervously clearing his throat, his gaze driffted off over Jen’s head. Had he done something wrong?

„Sorry, should I..“

„No.“ Lucas quickly stopped Jens in his attempt to push Lucas a bit away. The fingers in his neck digging into him.

„Okay.“ Jens waited for Lucas to gather his thoughts. It only took the boy a minute to go on and elaborate.

„I’ve never...“

„You’ve never...“ Jens repeated, when the other boy once again stopped in his tracks.

„I’ve never done this. All of this.“ Lucas finally said.

„What? Was I your first kiss?“ Jens’s eyes grew wide as the thought hit him, and with it an actual punch in the chest from Lucas’s fist. Not that it was really hard or meant to hurt.

„No. I’ve kissed before. It just never went anywhere further than that. And also they were girls.“

„Eh same. You are also the first boy I’ve kissed.“ Jens said grinning brightly at the smiling boy rolling his eyes.

„That’s not what I mean, asshole.“

„Sorry.“ He pecked a kiss on Lucas’s lips, earning him another in return, before the boy on his lap grew a bit more serious again.

„You have so much experience with girls at least and I have none... What if you don’t like this? You said yourself, that you thought you were absolutely straight before. I’m scared I’m not good enough.“ The last words were a whisper so soft, Jens had trouble to understand them.

„Hey. I’m nervous too.“ Jens admitted as he locked eyes with Lucas. „You are the first boy for me as well. I have no fucking clue, what I am supposed to be doing here. I’ve never thought about it before, nor done reasearch on it. I just... We’ll just figure it out, okay? And if today is not the right day, then there is still tomorrow. So how about we kiss. And then you take my sweater and shirt off, and I’ll take yours off. Because honestly that is all I want right now. And then we’ll go from there.“

Lucas was back to smiling at him, eagerly nodding as his eyes dropped to Jens’s lips before he was pulled back into a tight embrace by the older boy. Their lips finding each other blind while their hands lost no time slipping under fabric and pulling their shirts off.

How hard could it be?

__ __ __ 

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

quick info:

so I am ace, but had my fair share of experiences, still I’m not comfortable going further than that in writing. If you expected some explicit content in my work, I’m afraid, I’ll have to disappoint you. Go read it somewhere and come back for the story, if you want 😭

hope you don’t mind and are able to fill the blanks to your fullest wishes!

thank you for reading!! ❤️

ps: if everything goes okay and I’m still motivated, I may continue my version of wtfock with another season exploring asexuality 🙈

[princecharmingmendes]

Just the Way You Are | Peter Mendes

Peter gets even more insecure about his feelings towards you, that you don’t even know about (Best Friends to Lovers).

* Hi! This is my first work ever on this site, so I’d love if you guys could give me some feedback or whatever, it would mean the world to me!

*Word count: 4.7k

*Warnings: mentions of sex, drinking, cursing, adorable Peter, and I guess that’s it!

*Posted: December 2nd, 2019.

                                                        -*-

“Y/N?” Peter asked breathlessly answering his phone.

“Are you okay?” She asked with her voice a little weird.

“Yeah, I was just editing some photos, really focused and only noticed my phone was ringing when it fell of my nightstand, so I had to run or you’d have reached voicemail”

“Sorry, I didn’t even think to text you to see if you’re awake or with someone, or studying”

“It’s okay, so, why are you calling me on a Wednesday at one a.m.?”

“I just got home from that trip I told you I was going with Jake...”

“Oh, great, how was it?” Peter sighed closing his eyes and rubbing his temple with his free hand, already hating himself for asking.

“It sucked” She said pacing around her room.

“Really? Why?”

“He was extremely selfish and rude with everyone, I just wanted to leave as fast as I could”

“Was he rude to you?”

“No, just annoying”

“That’s a little less fucked up, isn’t it?”

“Dunno, don’t care, I dumped him” She said shrugging and laying in her bad, starring at a picture of her and Peter hugging and smiling, with Shawn and Raul kneeled in front of them with the funniest expressions.

“You did what?”

“I ended whatever we had”

“Why?!”

“You didn’t seem to like him that much to care about the reason why I dumped him, I thought that you’d be thrilled”

“I didn’t, I hated him, it’s just, I... how are you dealing with it? I thought you actually liked him and stuff”

“He was... fine I guess, it’s not like he was the love of my life”

“Don’t you miss him?”

“I was with him like, two hours ago”

“You know what I meant”

“I know, I’m sorry... it’s just... is it bad that I don’t? Like, at all?”

“Of course not, just means that you did the right thing, angel... it wasn’t meant to be”

“God, I just wish I could hug you and squeezing you right now”

“It’s late, angel, you should sleep”

“I know, I’m sorry, what are you guys doing this weekend?”

“Nothing, just going to Shawn’s place, he’s getting back tomorrow night”

“Oh, that’s nice”

“Do you want to join us?”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course! They love you as much as I do, and we miss you” 

“Okay, then count me in, are you sleeping there?”

“No, I’m coming back home with Raul”

“Okay, can you give me a ride?”

“Do you want to sleep here?”

“At your house?”

“Yeah, that’s dumb, sorry, sure, I’ll give you a ride”

“No, it’s not, I’d love to crash there”

“Great, angel, see you Saturday then?” Peter asked trying to confirm that he wasn’t going completely nuts with a smile that was already hurting her cheeks.

“Yeah! That will be perfect! Thank you so much, Peter, I love you”

“I love you too, goodnight, angel”

And just like that, they both went to bed with the most idiot smiles plastered on their faces.

                                                        -*-

When Saturday arrived, Peter went to the gym to try to spend as much energy as he could, seeing her after a month is literally almost killing him. They’ve been friends since they wore diapers, the four of them to be precise. But she’s always been closer to him. He had a crush on her since he was seventeen and he hid that like it was the worst thing that had ever happened in his life. Shawn and Raul only found out last year, on Shawn’s twenty first birthday, where they saw Peter drinking more than usual because she was making out with her boyfriend at the time.

What Peter didn’t know was that she started falling for him when they’re fifteen. 

Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about seeing the triplets, especially because they’ve never been so many days apart, except for Shawn that was touring the world. But spending the last month and a half away from her best friends, specially Peter, was actually bothering her. She spent the rest of the days until Saturday counting the hours to see them. She simply couldn’t wait to hug and annoy the he’ll out of them. 

So now she’s sitting in her bed, staring at her closet, trying to figure out what to wear. A nice outfit would be good to say “I’m single but I’m so fine with my self” or “hi, missed you, I’m too intimate with you to care about how I look and I want to be comfortable”. In the end, she ended up opting for a tight tank top, some cute sweatpants and a pair of her favorite sneakers. Her hair was naturally wavy and face bare of makeup, except for mascara and lip balm. 

She grabbed her backpack with her toiletries and a few clothes to change later and headed out the building, deciding to walk to Peter’s place instead of driving, it was only a few blocks away and it was still day. She left early anyway, so since walking would take longer, she opted for that to don’t be early, since he told her to go there around seven.

Well, she was too eager and ended up early anyways. She was in the front of the building deciding if she should go upstairs or if she should wait twenty minutes til seven. When she was almost giving up and heading for the coffee on the corner, she felt someone wrapping their arms around her torso from behind and she completely froze, relaxing a bit when she heard his laugh.

“Hey, baby!” 

“Raul!” She said turning around and hugging him as tight as possible.

“What are you doing down here?”

“I got here too early, didn’t know if I was supposed to just go upstairs or wait”

“Oh, that’s bullshit, you know you can come in anytime, you even got the key”

“Yeah, whatever”

“Let’s go?”

“Sure” I said letting go of him but he never let me, so he kept his arm around my shoulders.

“Pete’s dying to see you”

“Really?” She said lightly chuckling.

“Yeah, he’s been driving me nuts”

“Oh, come on, he’s sweet”

“Of course you’d say that, you love him!”

“Hey! I really appreciate him as a friend”

“Uh sure, so you’re just gonna lie and say you don’t have a crush on my brother”

“Fuck you, Raul” I said pushing his shoulder playfully and he full on laughed getting out of the elevator.

“I’ll be right back” Raul said in the moment we stepped into his place and disappeared on the hallway to his bedroom.

I wandered around the place, seeing new pictures hanging on the wall and admiring every little detail in every single one of them, knowing that Peter probably took it and spent hours editing. Just when I grabbed on that was me and only me I heard his voice.

“Raul, who were you taking to?” Peter asked and I turned around, placing the picture on the couch and pretty much throwing myself at him, wrapping him in the tightest hug I could possibly give “hey, angel” he said surprised as heck, wrapping his arms around me just as tightly and kissing my hair multiple time, taking me off the ground.

“Hey, Pete” I said nuzzling my face on his neck, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“You’re early” he said chuckling.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, I’m glad you’re here” he said kissing my temple.

“God, I missed you so much”

“I missed you too, sweetheart”

“Not as much as I did”

“I doubt that” Raul said coming from behind Peter “dude, put on some clothes at least”

That’s when she noticed that his skin was not completely dry, his hair was damp and he only had a towel wrapped around his waist. Y/N quickly let go of him and walked backwards, feeling her cheeks burn, and she was able to see Peters whole body tint pink. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Y/N”

“No, it’s okay, Pete, I don’t mind, go change, I’ll be here”

“I’m sorry” he said going back to his room.

“Damn, I didn’t know you were that crazy about him”

“Oh, fuck off, Raul” I said rolling my eyes “I didn’t even noticed that he was partially naked”

“Oh, but you liked the view, he is working out a lot more than he used to”

“I noticed that, he’s bigger than you”

“He is”

“What happened?”

“He’s just interested in getting built or something”

“Why?”

“Maybe a girl, I don’t know”

“Is he seeing someone?!”

“Don’t know, he doesn’t really talk about it in details”

“Oh”

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

“Nothing really” Raul said shrugging “when are going to go to Shawn’s?”

“I don’t know, is he home yet?”

“Probably, I’m just gonna call him to check” Peter said texting him “he said we can go now, he just asked us to go to the market first, to grab somethings”

“Fine, lemme just grab my jacket, okay?” Raul asked going back to his room.

“Sure”

“Do you want to leave you things on the guest room?”

“Guest room?”

“Yeah, we have one now”

“Nice”

“Yeah, so... do you want to leave your things there?”

“Mhm”  She mumbled and following to the room he pointed, dropping her stuff on the bed. 

“Come on, losers, let’s grab Shawn’s list and head to his house” Raul called from the front door.

“Oh, shut up, douche” She said rolling her eyes and trying to suppress a laugh.

Peter chuckled and offered his hand for her to grab, and she happily did it. 

                                                       -*-

They grabbed a lot of snacks and Shawn’s requests which were always the same since he was away for too long and had nothing on his fridge. We went straight to his condo after the little market stop by and Peter parked at his spot in his brother’s garage. When they got in the elevator she was practically bouncing of excitement to finally see Shawn, Raul couldn’t stop himself from laughing and Peter was constantly grinning at her. 

“Go, just get in and hug him” Raul said patting her back.

She quickly did what he said when the elevator doors opened and barged into his house.

“Hey, gu... Y/N?” Shawn sounded extremely surprised, but quickly ran to her and hugged her as tight as possible.

“Hey, rockstar”

“I can’t believe you’re here!”

“No one told you I was coming?”

“No! God I missed you!” Shawn said spinning her around making her laugh.

“Surprise!” Raul announced getting in with the bags “not saying hello to your big bro?”

“Hey, I had lunch with you guys yesterday, I don’t see her in ages!”

“What are the plans for today?” Peter said placing everything in place in Shawn’s kitchen, Y/N running there to help him.

“I thought we could watch something, talk, have a few drinks and maybe play some games, for old times sake”

“Count me in” Raul said.

“I’m cool with it” She said placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“So am I”

“Cool, I’m ordering pizza” Shawn announced.

“Me and Pete are getting the kitchen organized”

“I’m getting the living room ready”

                                                        -*-

After they ate three whole pizzas, a movie in and a few beers down, except for Peter who’s going to drive back, they started debating which movie they should watch next. Shawn was sitting with his feet on the central table, Raul was lying on the floor. Y/N and Peter were on the same side of the “L” shaped couch, she was with a pillow on her lap and her legs on top of Peter’s lap, which he was gently caressing, but never going to far high, always the sweetest. 

“Just put on something random and let’s talk”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, Raul, Friends maybe” she said shrugging.

“Fine”

“So, Shawn, how was tour?”

“Amazing, the last leg was fantastic, everything was great, the crowd was fantastic” 

“That’s so nice, I’m so fucking proud of you” She said smiling and Shawn.

“Thank you, honey, what about you?”

“Me?”

“How was that trip?”

“Shitty, dumped him”

“Why?”

“He didn’t deserve her” Peter mumbled.

“What?” Raul asked turning around to face us.

“He was not enough, he was rude and didn’t treat her the way she deserved”

“If you say so...” Shawn said shrugging.

“Peter’s actually right, he was just... whatever”

“You’re fine?”

“Couldn’t be better” she said lying her head on Peter’s shoulder.

“That’s great” 

“You know what we should do?”

“What, Raul?” Peter asked rolling his eyes at his brother.

“Play some sort of truth or dare”

“Oh no” Y/N said chuckling.

“What do you me by ‘some sort of’?”

“We can just ask questions, like, spin something and ask something, if the person doesn’t want to answer, the person needs to do a dare”

“Okay, that seems innocent enough” Shawn said chuckling.

“Guys, are we twelve or something?” Peter asked playing with his fingers, clearly nervous. 

“Why? Scared?”

“Fuck off, Raul”.

“Are you in?”

“Yeah, whatever” Peter said sighing and she grabbed his hand.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want it”

“No, it’s okay, angel, I’ll do it” Peter said kissing my knuckles.

“Fine, everybody on the floor!” Raul said downing his beer bottle and everybody settled down on the fluffy rug.

“Okay, I’m spinning” Shawn said grabbing the bottle from Raul’s hand and spinning it, the edge pointing to me.

“Okay, you’re gonna ask a question and the three of us are going to answer, if we choose not to, we have to do something, you can propose a dare”

“Cool, who was your worst kiss?”

“Just like that, huh?” Raul asked grinning at her.

“Sure!”

“Mine was with that nurse I dated for two weeks” Raul said.

“Five days, Raul, mine was my ex”

“But you guys were together for a few months, Pete!”

“I know, I liked her, we just didn’t fit”

“Well, mine was my first, awful experience”

“Okay, great, I’m spinning now?”

“Yep!”

So she did and it was Shawn’s turn.

“What was the worst thing you’ve ever done in school?”

“Uuuh, that’s easy, I purposely blowed up the chemistry class so I could go home early to watch a game without ditching”

“I thought you were going to say you burned someone”

“Hey, Y/N, I’m not that bad”

“Whatever, Raul, the worst thing I’ve ever done? Oh, I went on a date with that substitute teacher and the next day we made out on the library, and then I never saw him again, Mr. Harrison was back”

“I can’t believe it! You were like seventeen!” Shawn sounded extremely shocked.

“He was twenty something at the time, not so old, okay? What about you, Pete?”

“Me? I... o helped someone cheat on a test or something”

“Really? I didn’t think you did that” Raul said with his brow arched.

“Well, it was a one time thing”

“That makes a little more sense” Shawn said spinning.

“Peter!”

“Hmm... when was the last time you guys actually liked someone, as in, really like?”

“Last year”

“Two years ago”

“What about you, angel?”

“Me? I don’t, maybe now?”

“Now?!”

“That’s another question, Peter” She said chuckling, making him blush.

“Yeah, right, sorry” he said spinning the bottle.

“Finally! Okay, where was the craziest place you guys did it? And I’d say something like Eiffel Tower I’ll literally murder you, Shawn” Raul said making all of them laugh.

“The jet” Shawn said shrugging.

“On the hood of my ex’s car”

“Holy crap, really? Where?”

“And the end of a cliff we used to hang out at, it was always very empty” she said playing with the throw pillow on her lap.

“That’s nice” Raul said smirking.

“Fuck off”

“And you, Peter?” Shawn asked.

“The end of the bed, I guess” he said lowly and sighing, feeling a hand being placed on his thigh, seeing her fingers lightly caressing the area. 

“Why don’t we play a little bit of Mario kart?”

“Why? This is nice!” Raul said crossing his arms.

“What? Are you afraid to loose for a little girl?”

“Never, let’s play, baby!”

“Fine, will go find the remotes, come help me, Raul” Shawn said getting up.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re a looser”

“Fuck you” he said getting up and pushing Shawn into the hallway.

“Thanks” Peter mumbled under his breath.

“For what?”

“For getting me out of that situation” he almost whispered.

“Hey, of course, you don’t have to thank me, Pete, I’ll always have your back” she said grabbing his hand.

“Thank you” he said kissing the back of her hand “can I ask you something?”

“Sure, shoot”

“Who do you like?”

“We’re not playing the game anymore”

“I know, I just thought that there were no secrets between us, Angel”

“There aren’t, it’s just that it’s nothing serious, he doesn’t even know yet, and I don’t know if I want this to become a thing so yeah, anyway, I’m sorry, I promise I will tell you if I change my mind about him”

“Okay” he said kissing her forehead and she smiled at him.

“Found them!” Shawn said coming back to the room.

“Great” She said getting up and sitting on the couch “ready to loose, Raul?”

“I’m not loosing”

“Yeah, you are” Peter said climbing on the couch as well.

And so they spent their night like that, between teasing, laughing, eating junk food and just spending some precious time together, which has become more rare with their schedules. Around two in the morning Peter decide it’s time to get back home and leave Shawn to rest, so the three of them go back to the boys’ apartment. Raul went straight to his room, not before kissing the top of your head goodnight, and probably fell asleep pretty quickly.

Peter did the same thing, but went to the guest room with her to wish her goodnight and kiss her forehead one more time, before going back to his room. She couldn’t sleep well that night, feeling a little weird towards Peter, he got all weird after the game and wouldn’t talk to her. But what she didn’t know, is that he couldn’t either. He spent the whole night rolling on his bed, thinking how pathetic he was and how she would never fall for him if he was still like that. 

                                                        -*-

One week. That’s how long Peter’s been acting weird. He suddenly attended parties in the middle of the week, wasn’t wearing his glasses, and had a date every single night, but still trying to make time for Y/N by meeting her for lunch. Raul noticed the difference as well and actually asked him what was that all about, but he only got a “there’s nothing different, I just never told you guys about it” as an answer and that only triggered Y/N more. Since when was he lying to her?!

On the next weekend she went to the boy’s house without texting any of them. It’s not something that she had ever done before, but still, it felt weird. So there she was, in front of their apartment door, considering knocking or just barging in. So she just grabbed her key and got in, not seeing any sign of the guys there. She made herself at home, dropping her bag at the couch and went straight to Peter’s room, not finding him there. So Y/N just sat at his bed and waited until he got home, but she ended up falling asleep.

When Peter got home, after going out with another girl just to impress her or forget her, whatever happened first, he could swear his heart melted. She was sprawled on his bed, cuddling the hoodie he left there and curled into herself. He quickly grabbed a blanket and placed over her, leaving his things on his room and heading for the kitchen to make them both something to eat. Deciding to ditch the party he didn’t even wanted to go to be with her.

“Hey?” Her voice sounded soft from behind him.

Peter turned around to see her actually wearing his hoodie and with her hair in a messy bun. 

“Hey, you’re up”

“Yeah, I didn’t even know I fell asleep, sorry”

“Hey, it’s okay, you know I love having you here, everything’s okay?”

“With me? Yes, what are you doing?”

“Pasta, for us, Raul’s at the hospital and he’s not coming back today”

“Oh, sorry to bother your Saturday’s plans”

“It’s okay, you’ll always come first, so, what brought you here?”

“You”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you, Peter, we need to talk, can we?”

“Of course, just let me do something about dinner” he said tiding up the kitchen “wanna sit on the couch?”

“Okay” she said turning around and sitting there with her legs crossed, he sat on the same couch, turning to face her.

“What’s wrong, angel?”

“You are all wrong”

“Me?! What’s wrong with me?”

“What’s wrong with you? In one day you changed completely, started partying on week days, having several dates in 24 hours, ditching classes, not wearing your glasses, you even got your ears pierced”

“That’s me!”

“That’s not you! And really, if that’s what you want to be, fine, I don’t care, I love you, but everything happened so fast and I never thought you would be someone like this”

“Like what? Actually nice? Actually interesting? Someone girls would want?”

“No!”

“No what? What’s wrong with me being lime this? I’m not boring old nerd, I’m actually someone desired and cool, can’t you see it?”

“See what?”

“That like this I’m not invisible anymore, people actually want to be around me, they see me the same way people see Shawn and Raul, I’m not there shadow anymore”

“Pete...”

“No, Y/N, that’s the first time you actually noticed me? Even my best friend didn’t see me, Shawn is the popstar, Raul is the bad boy with a golden heart, and me? Well, I know how to use a camera and can’t say ‘no’ to anyone, wow, the best triplet”

“Pet...”

“People would only talk to me to get to one of them, maybe even Aaliyah”

“P...”

“And to add to the whole equation, I’m not enough for you. I’m not cool enough, I’m not hot enough, I’m not the kind of guy the would be brave enough to have sex with you on the hood of my car in the middle of nowhere, I’m not the guy that parties all night and wear cool clothes, or has a bunch of tattoos and lots of ex girlfriends, or am the best kisser, or the most talented or...”

“Peter, shut up!” She said watching the guy in front of her almost pull all of his hair out.

“I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear this, I’m just...”

“You’re perfect!”

“I’m what?”

“You’re perfect, Peter”

“No, I’m...”

“Hey hey hey, you talked too much already, lemme speak a little, okay?” She asked grabbing his hands while he nodded “yeah, you’re not the ‘coolest’ triplet or whatever, but you’re equally talented and hot, you might not be a bad boy who would fuck me on the fucking top of the Eiffel Tower, or the one that would take me to hundreds of parties, or wear leather jackets, or date a bunch of people” with that Peter lowered his head but she wouldn’t have it, so she cupped his face with both hand, kneeling in front of him “but you’re my Peter, the guy who would light up the whole place with candles and dance around the apartment with me, who would take me to an art exposition and tell me everything about the guys technique, who wears the coziest hoodies and the sweetest glasses, who dates only a few girls, but makes them feel like they are the only one in the world, you’re my person, Peter, you’re the guy I’ve fallen in love since I am fifteen years old and tried to forget all the time cause you’re my best friend and I didn’t want to ruin it, okay? I love you, just the way you are, Pete, don’t you dare change yourself to please somebody else”

“You love me? Like that?” He asked with wide eyes.

“I love you, just like that”

“Oh my God, are you for real?”

“One hundred percent” she said giggling and kissing the tip of his nose.

“I love you too, so so so much” he said placing his hands carefully on her sides.

“Good, now promise me one thing” she said leaning forward.

“Anything”

“Don’t ever lie to me again, if you feel insecure again, talk to me, okay? I’ll always love and support you, no matter what” she said mere inches way from his face.

“Okay, angel, I promise”

“Great, now can I kiss you or not?” She asked with a smug grin on her face that was quickly erased by his lips colliding with hers in the sweetest kiss she’s ever had.

Peter wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, making her fall on his lap, straddling his body. She ran her hand through his curls, tugging lightly making him groan slightly, and a little after that, she felt his tongue on her lower lip making her part her lips almost instantaneously, deepening the kiss.

They spent a while just lazily making out on the couch, curious hands discovering each other’s bodies in ways they’ve never done before. After a while they parted just slightly, to recover the breaths and he rested his forehead on hers, panting a bit. They both had the most stupid smiles plastered on their faces. 

“Angel?”

“Hm?”

“Do you want to go on a date with me? Let’s say, tomorrow at lunch?”

“I’d love to... Pete?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Of course you can!”

“But like... with you? And maybe cuddle?”

“Yes, yes you can”

“Okay” she said pecking his lips and getting up, receiving a whine from him”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m starving, I want the pasta you promised me!”

“Fine, but then I’m not letting you go, this still feels too much like a dream to me”

“Seems fair” she said chuckling and offering him her hand, which he gladly took.

“Let me finish our food”

And with that, he was back at cooking, bur eventually taking breaks to peck her lips softly. They ate in front of the tv, watching a random romcom and making fun of it. After that, they cleaned everything up and headed for his room, in which he changed into a pair of sweatpants and she took her jeans off, deciding to sleep only in his hoodie (and he wasn't complaining about it). They lied down together and immediately tangled themselves and started to talk about everything and anything until they fell asleep, which she did first, giving Peter some time to admire her and let the facts that happened that night sink in.

He never felt happier, and neither did she.

                                                        -*-

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” They both sat up extremely quickly to the sound of someone shouting at the end of the bed “why were you barely dressed on top of him?” Raul asked in a normal tone this time, but still sounding like he saw a three headed unicorn.

“We got our shit together yesterday and I guess we are together now” She said simply, laying back on Peter’s bed.

“Are you two together for real?”

“Yeah, Raul, now can you just leave? We went late to bed and I’m tired” Peter said laying back and pulling Y/N to lay on his chest.

“Okay, okay, sorry, guess I’ll see you at lunch?”

“We’re going out on a date, but maybe later, now leave” Peter said playing with Y/N’s hair.

“I can’t believe it, I have to call Shawn” Raul said leaving the room.

“Well, I didn’t want you to wake up like that” Peter mumbled kissing her forehead.

“It’s okay, waking up with you beside has always been the best, but now is even better” 

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, if we go back to sleep and wake up later we can pretend this never happened”

“That’s an amazing idea, Angel” Peter said kissing her hair softly and going back to playing with her hair.

“I love you” she whispered lightly before going back to sleep.

“I love you too, Y/N”

                                                         -*-

*I have a few more projects planned and a few that are almost done.

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know if I’m supposed to keep posting or something like that.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this.

*Guess that’s it, hope you guys enjoy it! 

*xoxo*

-🌙

[tiliamericana]

Muay Thai: 1.03

Read from start | Read Ahead | Home Site

The florist down the street was a peaceful place, even if walking in the front door was a little like being punched in the nose. They had a scent pump hidden in a hanging pot by the front door—Nairi wasn’t entirely certain why they needed to spray heavy fragrance oils inside a place filled with flowers, but she’d never managed a flower shop herself. Maybe they were trying to hook pedestrians.

The college kid manning the counter waved in recognition, already turning to fetch her order from the shelf. “Back again?” he said cheerfully as she approached, setting her wrapped cuttings on the counter. “I shouldn’t really discourage repeat patronage, but you know these suckers are pretty easy to grow yourself, right?”

Nairi shrugged, handing her card over as he rung up her order. “I’m pretty bad at keeping plants alive.”

He gave her a rueful grin as he handed her the chip reader to finish the transaction. “I get that—I used to kill cactuses before I started working here. The nurseries we order from have some pretty fierce gardeners on staff though, got me sorted very quickly.”

“Mhm.”

He nodded and kept talking despite her disinterest. The Thursday morning flower rush clearly didn’t provide enough opportunities for socialization. “Yeah, they’re all local places who go all in on small seasonal batches and heritage seeds. The bigger commercial suppliers don’t really have the same kind of knowledge base, it’s very cool.”

Nairi gave him a polite smile as she pocketed her card and picked up the greenery. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Have a great day!” he called out as she left through the flowers. She sneezed when she stepped into the fresh air outside and rubbed at her nose. Hopefully orchids would go out of fashion soon; she was rapidly coming to hate the smell.

It was a nice day, and she lingered for a moment before heading back inside the dojo. Sun streamed across the front room and she hesitated before leaving the door unlocked. She was close to her opening time anyway and if someone came in early the bell would ring. She tucked her wallet and keys into the desk drawer with the lock and crossed to the back room, leaving that door open behind her.

The second room had a viewing gallery rather than floor markings, and it was raised off the ground as a little balconette. It ran the length of the back wall with a built-in bench and was accessible by a stained wood step ladder; a very pretty feature, the real estate agent had said. Nairi had set her shrine at the far end of the balcony, on a little nook inset to the wall. It had had dividing shelves installed, probably for bags or shoes, but she’d pulled them out to make room.

She’d cleaned her vase that morning to replace the plants, filling it with clean water before she left. The kid at the florist’s hadn’t really reacted when she’d placed her weekly order for just green plants rather than anything with flowers, but she supposed she didn’t actually know what was considered ‘odd’ to buy from a florist.  

Everything else was set up, so she lit the incense and knelt.

A few minutes later the bell rang. Nairi stared at the shrine in front of her for a few moments, then blinked and climbed to her feet. Halfway down the ladder someone called out her name, and her confusion only rose as she stepped onto the mats and crossed back to the front room.

The hooker from the night before, Cherry, was standing in the doorway. She was still half outside, door propped open with her hip, one hand behind her in the sunlight with a lit cigarette smoldering in her fingers. Her other hand was a bit closer to her body, probably to balance the cardboard tray with two coffee cups in it. Her expression brightened when she made eye contact with Nairi, and she smiled. “Oh, there you are! Wasn’t sure I had the right place.”

Nairi stared at her blankly. In the daylight Cherry looked like almost an entirely different person—slinky dress and soft make up gone, traded for faded and worn cutoffs and tank top with half laced docs. Her bare arms had tattoos of fire circling her wrists, tongues of flame licking up to her elbows and her clean face was rounder and freckled.

“Why are you here?” said Nairi blankly, staring at her.

Cherry grinned, juggling the cups between her elbow and shoulder very carefully. “You saved my ass and bought me dinner. I’ve been on dates that aren’t that nice, babe, I wanted to say thanks.”

She dropped the cigarette on the concrete and crushed it under the toe of her boot before stepping inside properly. The bell jingled again as the door swung shut behind her, and she blinked to adjust to the light inside before taking the few steps to close the distance between her and Nairi.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” she said, tugging one of the cups out of the tray and offering it to Nairi, “so I just picked the most inoffensive thing I could think of.”

Nairi took the cup after a moment and had a quick sip. Foamy, bitter coffee filled her mouth and she tried not to grimace as she swallowed. “Thanks.”

The corner of Cherry’s mouth twitched. “Not a latte kind of girl?”

Nairi winced. “I don’t drink coffee,” she admitted, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Sorry, it was really nice of you.”

“Can’t win ‘em all,” said Cherry, still smiling at her as she plucked the cup out of Nairi’s hand. “Do you like mochas, or teas or something?”

“Uh, I mean, tea usually, I don’t—caffeine gives me headaches—”

“Do you have some time before you open this place up?” asked Cherry, gesturing around the dojo.

“I guess, yeah, I scheduled for twelve, but no one shows up for—”

“Great!” said Cherry brightly. “C’mon, I don’t know how fancy Starbucks gets, but there’s this little posh place on the corner that looks like they’ll sneer at you for using teabags, lemme get you a pot?”

Nairi glanced at the clock over her door. There were fifteen minutes til she was scheduled to open, but, well, no one had booked or called about the noon session. “Okay,” she said after a moment.

Cherry grinned, raising the second coffee to her lips and sculling it in long gulps as Nairi slipped her shoes on. She dropped the coffee cups in Nairi’s wastepaper basket and reached out, grabbing Nairi by the wrist to tug her onto the street outside. Nairi took a second to lock up with the chain while Cherry tapped a toe impatiently, and when she turned back Cherry was watching her curiously.

“You have a problem with break ins?” she asked as Nairi stepped back next to her.

“No,” said Nairi, glancing at her. “Why do you ask?”

Cherry shrugged, hooking her hands into the back pockets of her shorts as they walked. “Heavy duty locks for this part of town, s’all. Though, I’ve lived in some pretty interesting places, and then college towns like, totally fuck with your perception of that stuff, so I’m probably not the best judge of what’s like, a ‘good area’ or whatever.”

Nairi hummed noncommittedly, keeping her gaze ahead of her. She could feel Cherry’s eyes on the side of her face and tried not to think too hard about what it was she was seeing.

The café Cherry took her to was on the other end of the street to Nairi’s building, and it was small and picturesque. It had low armchairs and beanbags dotted around the open air front space, and as it transitioned into the café proper the walls were lined with tall shelves sporting thick, coffee-table books and lush, overflowing ferns. Low chatter and the steaming of coffee machines filled the sparsely occupied room.

Cherry went straight for the counter, tugging Nairi along with her. “Hey there!” she said in a friendly tone, flashing a bright smile at the bearded young man behind the counter. “Do you guys have any like, fun teas?”

He nodded, leaning over the counter to point at the chalkboard wall with the marker he’d been turning over in his hands. “Sure do. We’ve got all of these guys, plus, you know, like English Breakfast and stuff. The Sinnamon’s new, and Rose and Shine is very popular with soda and ice as a morning mocktail.”

The other teas on the menu were called things like ‘Rooid Boi’, ‘Lemon Aid’, ‘Raspberry Remnant’, and ‘Tea Thyme’ with the ingredients listed in a nigh incomprehensible chalked cursive. Nairi stared at them blankly.

Cherry squinted at them, mouth open slightly. “….Did you just forget to write the raspberry in on that one?” she asked, pointing at ‘Raspberry Remnant’.

“It used to have raspberry leaves in the blend, but we had some issues. We liked the name, so we kept it,” he said, shrugging.

Nairi ignored the wall and turned to address the guy instead. “Do you have anything with oolong?” she tried.

He nodded, pointing at a couple of the marked teas again. “Yeah, the Roasty Posie is oolong with mixed floral overtones, and Save the Teas uses an oolong base as well. If you’re looking for a gentler caffeine experience, then Rose and Shine uses white tea.” He grinned, leaning on the counter with his elbows. “Also, we do a uh, ‘house special’ with the Serenity Chill where we add booster shots of oolong and white tea—we call it ‘Aunt Mableton’s Icicle Situation’ after our manager’s cat.”

“Good to know,” said Nairi after a moment. “I’ll have a pot of Save the Teas, I guess?”

“Sure,” he said, leaning back and pulling the cap off the marker to write it down directly on the polished steel countertop. “Can I grab anything else for you ladies?”

“Can I grab an iced mocha,” said Cherry, turning her head and pointing at the glass case. “And like… one each of the fruit muffins?”

He nodded, adding them down as Nairi tugged out her wallet to pay. Cherry smacked her hand away and handed the guy some cash in exchange for the little table number, giving Nairi a wry grin. She stuffed the change into the tip jar and tugged Nairi over to a tall table by a bookshelf.

“You didn’t have to,” said Nairi as she shifted to take a stool on the far side so that the wall was behind her.

Cherry shrugged, dropping her wallet and phone on the tabletop before sitting across from her, kicking her booted feet back up onto the stool’s brace bar. “It’d be a pretty shitty way to pay you back for dinner, making you put out for brunch as well,” she said, poking her tongue out at Nairi.

Nairi wasn’t sure what to say to that and she fiddled with a loose thread in her cuff for several long moments. Eventually it got too awkward for her to bear, and she shifted. “Makes sense.”

“Aren’t you hot in that?” asked Cherry, crossing her arms on the table in front of her. Weirdly enough the only jewellery she was wearing was a small gold cross on a chain, no rings or bracelets. If Nairi had taken a second to think about how Cherry would dress off the job, this wouldn’t have been it.

She shrugged instead of answering the question.

“No, seriously,” said Cherry, her grin twitching a little at the corners. “I know it’s still a bit windy after midnight, but it’s still July, it’s like a hundred degrees out right now! How are you in long sleeves?”

“I just prefer it,” said Nairi, shrugging again. She felt an itch in the middle of her back, right between her shoulders, the way she did when someone was staring at her. There was only wall there. She resisted the urge to turn around and check anyway. “It’s light, you know, whatever.”

Cherry looked like she was going to push a little harder, but thankfully their food arrived and cut her off. Did it still count as brunch when it was nearly noon already? Either way, Cherry was thoroughly distracted, smiling sunnily at the cheerful girl with dreads and facial piercings who set their order across the table. Nairi had been given two glasses; both thick and squat, one filled with ice in deference to the weather.

Cherry sliced open one of the muffins, blueberry, and picked up the butter dish, waggling her eyebrows at Nairi over the mason jar that contained her iced mocha. “This place is a little… more than I was expecting.”

“It’s very… lush,” said Nairi, flicking her eyes to one side to give a hanging fern a deliberate look.

Cherry stifled an ugly snort, her head ducking as she pushed the muffins towards Nairi. “At least it’s interesting,” she said, hooking a hand around her jar of coffee. “Come on, tell me how the hippie tea is.”

Nairi poured a small cup of it out and took a careful sip, raising an eyebrow. “Organic,” she said. It actually wasn’t bad; a little woody and over steeped, but she was used to that at least.

Cherry took a long sip through her straw, eyebrow arched in return as she looked at Nairi through her eyelashes, then grimaced, leaning back. “Oh, that’s soy milk and straight cacao, I think this might be a vegan place.”

“Good to know,” said Nairi, smiling a little without thinking about it as Cherry picked up her half of the blueberry muffin.

“Are you vegan?” asked Cherry, tearing the muffin into chunks. “Or do you just like veggies for tempura?”

“Just vegetarian,” said Nairi, drinking more tea. “Don’t like meat. Milk and stuff is fine.”

“Don’t like violence against animals but you’re perfectly happy doling out a little of your own in the dark of the night?” teased Cherry, washing down her bites with more mocha.

“I have the black belts, I may as well put them to good use,” said Nairi with another awkward shrug, wishing she could get comfortable.

“’Belts’, huh? You know other stuff, not just Judo?”

Nairi hummed. “Krav Maga and Muay Thai as well. Belts or rankings and colours aren’t universal in different arts, but more people know what they generally mean, so, you know. My Muay school used armbands.”

Cherry nodded, one of her legs kicking the air under her stool. “Yeah? Do you teach those too or just Judo?”

“All three. I only have real students for Judo, though.”

“What makes someone a real student?”

“Showing up?”

Cherry snorted again, her hand flying to her mouth but not quite managing to hide her grin. “You don’t pull your punches anywhere, do you?”

Nairi shrugged again, not really sure how to take that.

Cherry seemed to find it an acceptable response anyway, openly watching Nairi with a fascinated expression. “Can I ask you something weird?”

“Sure,” said Nairi. It wasn’t like she could get more uncomfortable.

“So, like, ‘Nairi’ isn’t a super common name, and you seem proficient and reasonably scary,” said Cherry, peeling the paper away from another muffin as she watched Nairi indirectly. “And like, I keep my ears to the ground you know—or, well, fuck, okay, I occasionally end up in bed or working with people who have, uh, other hobbies cops might be interested in—”

Nairi wasn’t a hundred percent certain where she was going with this, but she tensed regardless, her expression relaxing into cool neutral.

If Cherry noticed, it didn’t stop her. “—Anyway, you wouldn’t happen to be the same Nairi who scared off the guys making meth a couple of blocks from here, would you?”

…Well, that wasn’t good, but it was leagues away from the worst thing she could have said. “I think I had a conversation with them,” she said politely, eyes flicking down to watch Cherry’s hands on the tabletop. She took a moment to consider and then added: “Sorry if that’s made one of your… ‘hobbies’ more difficult for you.”

Cherry snorted again and shook her head, looking distinctly unbothered. “Nah, not for me. I have a hard enough time making rent without that shit.”

She was still smiling.

Cherry swallowed her muffin and took a more gratuitous sip of her mocha, shifting how she was leaning on the table and looking up at Nairi properly again. “So you’re like, new in town right? Don’t know a lot of people yet?”

“What gave me away?” said Nairi, blinking at her.

“Just a feeling,” said Cherry, her cheeks dimpling as she polished off her drink. She climbed to her feet, tucking her wallet away, but flipping open her phone. “Do you wanna do this again some time? Like, I mean, tomorrow even if you want. I can come by earlier so we don’t run up against your opening, or we could grab food after you close for the day?”

“I—sure?” said Nairi, her mouth answering for her while she tried to process the abrupt change of gears. “I mean, what?”

“Catching up, getting to know each other, being friendly?” said Cherry brightly, shifting a little closer to Nairi. “You’ve got your dojo to open today and I need to clock some time at my day job, but I’d love to get to know you better, show you round town, introduce to some friends, even?”

Nairi only just managed to swallow the ‘Why?’ that was about to trip off her tongue. “Okay,” she said slowly. “I’d uh, yeah I’d like that?”

“Great!” said Cherry, holding out her phone with the screen open to a ‘new contact’ entry. “What’s your number?”

[acaciarosewrites]

Beginning: an NCIS-Criminal Minds crossover oneshot

Anthony “Tony” DiNozzo entered the apartment silently closing the door behind him and locking it. He dropped his wallet, keys, and creds on the table in the hallway and moved noiselessly toward the living room where he could safely deposit his SIG Sauer and backup gun inside the gun safe on a bookshelf near the entrance. The apartment was dark, no other lights on except the floor lamp in the hallway. Not that he needed the light. He knew this apartment like the back of his hand. Almost as good as he knew his own.

His weapons safely stored, Tony made his way toward the bedroom, gently easing the door open and took in the site of the woman laying asleep in her bed. Her blonde hair was up in a messy bun and she was wearing her normal sleep clothes. Her face was smoothed out, no lines of stress on her face from the difficulties of her job. Not that the woman wasn’t passionate about her job, it was just that lately it had been tiring her out. She didn’t think he noticed, what with all the hours and high priority cases that had come in in the last month for his team. But he did.

Of course, he did - what kind of investigator would he be if he didn’t notice that his own girlfriend was exhausted and in need of a vacation to get her back on center. Their jobs though... well, they didn’t get a chance to use much of the vacation time that they had racked up - despite their respective HR departments calling them in or sending email reminders to use the days accrued for overtime alone. The federal agent mentally snorted. HR would prefer that they took time off rather than be paid for the time they put in for overtime. Tony pushed off the door frame he was leaning against and made his way over to the en-suite bathroom and quickly took care of business, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, and stripped down to his boxers before sliding into bed and pulling the covers around both himself and the blonde woman.

He slid an arm around her waist and moved closer to her, eyes sliding shut before freezing from the tension he felt thrumming through his girlfriend’s body.

“JJ?” Tony whispered silently in question at the back of the communication liaison’s head, he waited a few beats before the woman turned around to face him.

Jennifer “JJ” Jareau had long since been awake. She got home early for once - though she had suspected Hotch had let them off early because he had seen how worn out she had been. It probably didn’t help that she had snapped at Garcia of all people. She felt bad and had immediately apologized but it still hadn’t saved her from Morgan’s accusing glare after it had happened.

JJ had left work immediately but instead of going home she had driven around for an hour. She knew she was unusually exhausted these last few weeks and she had a good theory on why that was. If it was just the exhaustion then she would have blamed the job. But no, after the fifth morning in a row of waking up in a rush to the bathroom where she was expelling the contents of her stomach left her with two options: either she had contracted a stomach bug, or she was pregnant. Seeing as how it had now been a week and she was still throwing up every morning and earlier today the smell of coffee had sent her running to the ladies’ room at work...

The blonde woman had finally made it home and did laundry, cleaned up, made a simple meal for dinner. Finally, after cleaning every square inch of her apartment, she could not ignore the small brown paper bag that was sitting on the table in the entrance hall, holding a pregnancy test that she had bought at the local pharmacy.

She had taken it, waiting the requisite five minutes for the result, and subsequently thrown it in the trash after reading the positive result. JJ had paced back and forth and around her whole apartment before heading out to the drugstore around the corner to buy another test.

That one was positive too.

The FBI agent had a million thoughts running through her head. This wasn’t something that she and Tony, her boyfriend of eight months, had really discussed. Sure, they had briefly talked about wanting kids, but they hadn’t talked about their future together.

How was Tony going to react to this?

JJ had gotten ready for bed on autopilot and had lain there for hours. It was past ten when she finally heard the key in the lock and Tony entering the apartment. She tracked his movements throughout her apartment and feigned sleep as he stood in the doorway of her bedroom before heading to the ensuite. A few minutes later, as he usually did at night, he would know that she was awake because of how stiff her body was. But she couldn’t do anything to get rid of the tension.

“JJ?”

Turning over so that she was facing her boyfriend, JJ was gazing into Tony’s worried green eyes. And she knew in that moment that despite trying to hide how tired and worn down she’d been in the past couple weeks; she had not fooled Tony nor had the increased workload stopped him from noticing her seemingly declining health.

Her brain to mouth filter failed her and she found herself blurting out her recent discovery.

“I’m pregnant!”

Tony froze as he heard JJ’s proclamation. He continued to stare at the woman who was so different than any he had dated before. If he were being completely honest with himself, he had caught himself thinking about a future with JJ, marriage and kids and maybe even a dog. He had never voiced those thoughts aloud partly because he didn’t want to jinx anything - Tony DiNozzo wasn’t someone that people stayed for, his last “serious relationship” had ended when his former fiancee left him the night before their wedding. The other part of it was the plain and simple fact that JJ was too good for him. She deserved to be with someone better than him who could treat her like a queen, but he couldn’t bring himself to be the one to leave her.

They had only been together for eight months. That wasn’t that long, but it was one of his longest relationships in years since Wendy. These past few months had been a roller coaster for them both; from his boss getting caught up in an explosion, taking over the MCRT after Gibbs left for Mexico, to JJ’s team being pulled into a quest by the “Fisher King” and SSA Elle Greenaway being attacked in her own home, Elle’s resignation, the North Mammon incident, some undercover work Director Shepard had started him on, Gibbs coming back a couple of times before taking over the MCRT again...

Tony shook his head and focused back on JJ. She was biting her lip and her big blue doe eyes were watching him with intent and worry. 

“You’re... I mean... are you sure?” Tony asked rather lamely.

JJ’s brows lifted as she nodded. “I took two tests. They were both positive. I’m going to make an appointment in the morning. But...” The blonde hesitated and looked away.

“Jay?” Tony whispered as he gently grasped her chin and turned her head to face him.

JJ sighed, “I thought I was hiding how exhausted I was from you, but you knew, didn’t you?” Tony nodded, and JJ continued, “I’ve been throwing up practically every morning for the past week.” Here, JJ caught a look of surprise that briefly flashed over Tony’s face. “You didn’t know that, but I suspect that’s only because you’ve had to go into work early for the case your team is currently working. Also... I’m late... so... Definitely a good chance that I’m pregnant.”

“Good chance huh?” Tony replied, one eyebrow quirked.

JJ huffed a laugh; still not sure what Tony was going to say. Tony shook his head before letting his mouth run away from him as he was wont to do when he was nervous. “Do you want me to go with you? I mean it’s okay if you don’t. I would like to but if you don’t want me there, I guess I could just wait ‘til you get back. I always wanted to be there for the ultrasound, thought that would be cool but-”

He was abruptly cut off by JJ’s had covering his mouth.

“Uh? Jay?” Tony questioned.

“I have to make the appointment first but, you actually want to go?” JJ asked before removing her hand.

“Yeah, yeah I would like to go.” Tony answered. JJ studied him for a moment before nodding.

“I’ll try to get an appointment for this weekend. If you wrap up your case by Friday, you are off rotation this week, right?” Tony nodded his head.

“Okay,” JJ said, quiet for a moment, “and if the test and ultrasound come back positive, then what?” JJ questioned.

“If the tests show we’re going to have a baby then I guess we’re going to have to figure out what we’re going to do about our living situation.” Tony blurted out.

“Our living situation?” JJ parroted back, slightly amused at Tony’s train of thought and slightly hopeful that he was saying what she thought he was saying.

“Well, we both have nice apartments, very nice apartments, though yours wasn’t the site of a bloody triple murder five years ago. But both of our apartments lack a second bedroom and well, you know, even if it did, I doubt that we’d be able to merge and blend our apartments with the sheer amount of stuff we own.” Tony got quiet at the end, hoping JJ would continue for him, that she would get it. He didn’t think he could ask her and face rejection from the mother of his child.

Though she wasn’t a profiler in title, the blonde federal agent did know a few things from having worked with the BAU for the last couple of years. She knew Tony played the part of immature frat boy but that he really was an all-in wife and kids type of guy. It certainly didn’t help that that witch Wendy had broken Tony’s heart which caused the NCIS agent to put up more walls and hide behind the frat boy persona. JJ smiled softly and cupped Tony’s cheek, “Are you saying we should find our own place? That we should move in together, raise our baby together?”

Tony studied the expressions on JJ’s face and found himself fighting back a wide small. This woman got him like no other that he’d known - let alone dated. “Yeah, yeah that’s what I’m saying.” Tony paused before continuing, “Jennifer Jareau, I’m in love with you. I know we haven’t talked in depth about marriage and kids, but I want all of that, all of that with you. Regardless of what the tests say or what happens at the appointment, I want us to move in together and start a life and family together.” Tony declared taking in a deep breath. “You know I’ve been down this road before, and it didn’t work out. Took me quite a while to see the reason for that. This time it’s different. It’s different because it’s you. You challenge me to be a better person, just being around you makes me want to do better. Will you marry me?” He just laid it all out in the open for JJ and now he was waiting to see how she was going to react. Tony was resolutely not thinking about the last time he had made himself vulnerable with a woman and how well that turned out for him.

But JJ was smiling so it couldn’t be that bad...

JJ felt the stretch of her lips as she heard all that Tony had to say.

He wanted to move in together - and not only that but he wanted for the two of them to get married! Most importantly he wanted kids! With her!

JJ leaned forward and kissed her boyfriend soundly. They broke apart minutes later to catch their breath.

“So, does this mean yes?” Tony questioned, his eyes alight with joy.

“Tony, I would loved to move in with you. More importantly, I would love to marry you and have a family with you. You are nothing like the guys I’ve dated before and I couldn’t be happier about that. I’ve never felt this way about anyone I’ve been with. You treat me like I’m the most important person in the world, like I’m precious but you don’t treat me like I’m a glass doll or someone who needs protecting - though I know you’ll be fighting right by my side against any obstacle. You make me laugh, you’re always willing to listen and offer advice or back off when I need space. I love you Tony DiNozzo.”

Tony pulled JJ close and kissed her passionately, both losing themselves in the touch of the other.

“You make me happy. I don’t know if I said that earlier, but you do. So happy.” Tony admitted, pulling her in for another kiss.

JJ laughed as Tony trailed kisses down her neck, “Is it bad to say that despite how you ended up at Quantico, I’m glad that we met?”

Tony let out a loud laugh, tucking his head into JJ’s neck and pressing a kiss there, “I guess that’s one good thing that came out of Fornell arresting me.

[crayonwriting]

Irreplaceable You: 2 (Bucky Barnes)

Summary: Unexpectedly diagnosed with a terminal disease, you embark on a mission to find a new love for your fiancé and childhood best friend, Bucky Barnes.

Disclaimer: This story is a rewrite of the movie of the same title on Netflix. Directed by Stephanie Laing and written by  Bess Wohl. Go check it out!

A/N: I would like to thank @blueskiesbleakeyes for being the only person who gave me feedback. One makes a huge difference. I dedicate this chapter to you and here’s to hoping you stick with me ‘til the end.

Once again, please tell me what you think! They are all highly appreciated. :)

Enjoy folks!

—

"So, are you okay with confirming the venue today?" You opened the fridge and pulled out some orange juice. You grabbed a glass from the cupboard and placed it in front of Bucky, who was sat by the kitchen table, buried deep in one of his books. You poured him a glass and waited for his answer.

"Bucky."

He looked up at you murmuring a few words to himself. He raised his eyebrows in question.

"The venue?" You asked, smiling.

"Oh, yeah." He looked back down at his book, adjusting his glasses that were slipping from his nose. "Yeah, it's okay. Let's confirm today…," he trailed off. He took a pencil and started writing notes on his notebook beside him.

You pulled out your phone and checked 'venue' from your list. You scrolled down and asked again,

"The caterer also wants to know if we're having chocolate, raspberry, or hazelnut."

"For?"

"The cake. The wedding cake."

"Well," he shrugged before going back to work. "Not hazelnut. Nobody's ever like, 'Yum! That cake is hazelnut!'"

You chuckled lightly as you went to the closet by the door and pulled out your coat and shrugged it on. You got your scarf too and wrapped it around your neck.

"Okay then, raspberry or chocolate?"

"Please not raspberry." He dropped his pencil and looked up at you incredulously. "I don't even understand how people like raspberry on cake. It's just plain weird."

You giggled and walked up to Bucky, putting your arm across his back. You rubbed your hand on his left shoulder, feeling the little scar beneath his shirt. He held you by your waist and looked up at you.

"So, I’m guessing it’s chocolate then?"

"Isn't it the obvious choice?" He smiled and you leaned down to kiss his lips. You lingered for a while savoring the warmth and softness of his lips against yours. He hummed in response and leaned into you closer as if it were still possible.

You pulled away, only an inch, and rested your forehead against his.

"I love you, Buck." You  whispered. You rubbed the small hairs on the back of his neck, feeling him relaxing against your touch. He did the same to you, moving his hand up and down your back, playfully pinching your ass along the way.

You slapped his shoulder lightly and pecked his lips one more time.

"Have a good day in class. I'll see you later at the doctor's." You caught a glimpse of his sock-clad feet and smiled. "That one's green and the other one red." You pointed out.

"They feel the same." He shrugged and got back to writing his notes.

You just giggled and finished getting ready to go to work. You picked up your keys from the hook on the door, slinging your purse on your shoulder.

"Don't forget to water Ruby." You shouted at him, as the door closed shut.

Bucky suddenly looked at the small cactus plant sitting in the middle of the table. It was one of his anniversary gifts to you and you had happily named it Ruby saying, 'This could be practice for when have kids.'

The memory made him laugh and he stood up from his chair, filled an empty glass with tap water and did as you told.

—

"Clearly," Bucky turned to the whiteboard behind him and started drawing different illustrations. "There are still more than a few misconceptions about the structural differences between sensory neurons, interneurons, and motor neurons. Which is totally cool." He turned to face his students who stared at him blankly, not even copying what he just wrote on the board. He swallowed thickly and flashed a tight smile.

“Does anyone have any questions about this?” He received no response, which made him exhale a loudly.

“I know, it's exciting stuff…” He mumbled more to himself.

—

“I mean, yeah, her profile’s really cool but how can I know for sure?” Clint ranted as you and him made your daily rounds around the shelves of books, returning old ones and putting new titles in between. “She sent me a photo of her boobs though.” He said nonchalantly.

You abruptly stopped midway of pulling out an old book and looked at Clint with big wide eyes.

“What?” He asked, continuing to work, pushing his cart of books ahead of you. “It’s a normal thing to do.”

“No, it’s not Clint! Is this dating site even legit?” You questioned. “I mean, if a girl sends her boobs to a person she’s just met online then maybe she’s just after one thing!”

“And what is this one thing, pray tell?” Clint challenged. He raised his eyebrows mockingly, egging you on. You huffed and playfully punched his shoulder. Clint chuckled and pulled out his phone.

“It’s funny, though.” He scrolled through his album and showed you the boob photo. “I saved the picture on my phone and I saw that it was taken in 2015.”

“Yikes.” You internally cringed. “You know what to do Clint. Say goodbye to Miss Booby, delete your account in that sketchy site and just leave it all to fate!” You smiled to yourself, going back to work.

Finishing up, you returned to the back office of the library and sat on your desk. Clint was following behind you, fixing the book carts back in their places.

“That’s so easy, for you to say.” Clint sat at his own desk across from yours and leaned back on his chair. “You’re lucky you have Bucky. You’ve been together for like, forever!” He raised his hands up in the air in exasperation. “It’s like you never even tried!”

“Hey!” You interrupted, giggling a little. “Yes, I am lucky to have Bucky, but I did try you know! I had to get pregnant to get him to step it up a little.” You rested your palms on your stomach, feeling a little bit giddy at the thought of your little baby growing inside you.

“Ugh.” You heard Clint say. You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow in question. He rested his cheek against his fist; his elbow resting on the armrest of his chair.

“That stupid, dopey look on your face is making me sick.” He had a soft smile on his face, knowing he was just joking. You smiled back, playfully sticking your tongue out at him. He sniggered before stretching his arms out and started typing on his computer.

“Don’t you have that doctor’s appointment with Bucky?” He asked, not taking his eyes off of the screen. You stood up instantly, checking the time on your phone.

“Holy crap! I almost forgot!” Moving as fast as you can, you shoved your stuff into your bag while putting on your coat. You haphazardly wrapped your scarf around your neck, almost choking. “Clint, you don’t mind…?” You trailed off.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll cover for you at the club meeting. Better make me the godfather of that kid of yours.” He mumbled. You hugged him, tight and brief, before dashing out of the door.

“Thanks Clint! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

—

You changed the position of your legs and tried settling yourself in the small chair at Dr. Michaelson’s office. You bit your thumbnail from time to time, trying to relieve yourself from both the anxiousness and excitement of your pregnancy.

You felt a warm hand slide down your thighs to intertwine with your hand. You looked beside you—at Bucky—and saw him smile softly. You couldn’t help but copy his expression. You leaned into his shoulder and let out a heavy sigh. He lifted your intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of your hand, trying to help calm the nervous energy you were giving off.

You were both waiting inside the office for the results of your blood test the other day. In front of you was a small desk with a few papers on them. A small orange clock hung from the back wall. Posters of mothers and their babies were plastered all around the small area.

You focused on the one right in front of you. It was a diagram of a baby in the womb with its head, halfway out of it.

“It’s so weird…” You whispered.

“What’s weird?” Bucky asked, looking at you. You continued to stare at the poster and pointed it out to him.

“That! How is it possible that something that big comes out of something so small?” You tilted your head in pure curiosity. Bucky put his fingers to his pursed lips, seeming to think. His eyebrows were knit together and his eyes were focused on the poster.

“It’s like something out of a sci-fi movie.” He stated. “Like an alien, coming out of another alien’s mouth.”

“That’s not helping!” You couldn’t help but laugh and smack him lightly. He laughed with you.

Soon after, the door opened and in came Dr. Michaelson, seeming to be in a rush as she flashed you an apologetic smile.

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.” She said, sitting down on the desk in front of you. You shook your head with a smile.

“It’s alright.” You straighten your spine and glanced quickly at Bucky. “So,” you started. “We’re ready for the results.” You bit your lips in anticipation. You felt Bucky squeeze your hands as he, too, was excited about the oncoming news.

But, something seemed off with the lack of a smile Dr. Michaelson was showing. Her hands were folded together on top of her desk. Her lips were turned into a slight frown. She looked down at her desk before finally looking at the both of you with determined eyes.

“I, uhm, have difficult news.”

Time seemed to stop and for a second you felt your heart drop to your stomach. You involuntarily gripped Bucky’s hand tighter. Your breath got caught in your throat as a different kind of nervousness overcame your body.

The doctor stared at the both of you. She sighed and continued,

“Your blood tests show that you’re not pregnant.”

“O-oh.” You muttered, “A-are you sure?”

She nodded.

“Uhm, okay. I, guess that’s okay.” You relaxed a little. You tapped your foot mechanically and shot Bucky a look. “It’s okay, right Buck?”

“Yeah, I mean,” he shrugged, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand, “We probably weren’t even ready.” He was just as excited and thrilled with having a baby—especially with you— and hearing the news that you weren’t expecting made him a little bit uneasy.

“It’s-it’s-it’s just that…” you opened your mouth and tried to rearrange the mess of words in your head, “I know that I’m nowhere near showing but,” you put your hand on your stomach, “I can actually feel something there.” You almost whispered the last part.

Dr. Michaelson cleared her throat and opened the folder she carried with her when she came in. She pulled out a small strip of black and grey photos and showed them to you.

“The sonogram shows that you have a mass in your pelvis roughly the size of a tangerine.” She pointed to one side of the photos. “It can mimic pregnancy.”

“A mass?” Bucky asked. “What kind of a mass?” His voice shook.

“I don't want you guys to panic, because it could be nothing.” She explained. “We still have to do a couple more tests to determine whether it’s malignant or benign.”

—

Later that night, you lay in your bed, side by side with Bucky. You both stared at the ceiling, thinking about your doctor’s appointment. It wasn’t what you both were expecting and you found it difficult to process this new information.

You could feel Bucky thinking about it too. He kept sighing and running his hands through his hair—a clear sign that he was nervous and thinking too much.

“Well,” he said, breaking the long silence, “At least we won’t have to pay for college.”

You didn’t respond to his statement and just sighed heavily.

“Unless, it’s a very smart tumor.” He suddenly added.

You turned your head to him sharply and gave him a venomous look. You took additional tests today to determine the malignancy—or lack thereof—of the mass in your abdomen. The results weren’t due until the day after tomorrow and Bucky was talking about it as if the results have already come.

He licked his lips and swallowed loudly, turning his head to look at you. When he saw your expression, he immediately regretted what he said.

“Too soon?” He asked. When you didn’t move even an inch, he looked back at the ceiling and flexed his back.

“Too soon.”

—

tell me what you thought!

[charanteleclerc]

for better, for worse (til death do us part)

2019

He could hear the stunned gasps and whispers as he walked through the Paddock. The cold metal rested on his finger, still unfamiliar. He smiled to himself, touching his ring gently. He knew they’d taken their time in finally getting married - not through lack of trying on his part though. Jenson had never really been one to settle down, and when he’d proposed to Jenson five years ago, Jenson had literally done a runner. Admittedly only for a few hours, and he’d been very apologetic about it, but he’d been careful not to mention any plans of commitment again. Not until Jenson brought it up himself.

“Hey man.” Lewis walked up, smirking. “He finally asked?”

“Finally.” Seb agreed, grinning. “It only took me nine years to pin him down.”

“Are you going to let everyone in on the secret?” Lewis asked, making a face at the people around them. “Press release? Instagram post?”

Seb shook his head. “Still like my privacy. They’ll figure it out finally, but they haven’t found out yet. We want to keep it like that.”

“Even Jenson?” Lewis asked, watching Seb carefully. “Seriously?”

Seb shrugged. “He knows how much it means to me. And we agreed that we’ll tell people when I retire, and not surrounded by all of this.”

“Well, congrats anyway.” Lewis clapped him on the back, walking away. “And tell him that he owes me for not inviting me!”

“Tell him yourself!” Seb called back, shaking his head. He touched his ring again, still amazed and overwhelmed at the thought of it being there, on his finger. A reminder of how lucky he was.

~*~

2011

“Hey.” Jenson snuck up behind him, wrapping his arms around Seb’s waist. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Seb grinned, but he wriggled out of Jenson’s loose grasp, turning to face the other man.” Not going to be missed?”

“Not for a little bit.” Jenson leant in to give him a quick kiss, frowning when Seb stiffened, just a little. “What’s wrong?”

“Just… not here.” Seb pleaded. “There’s too many people.”

He could see the hurt that flickered over Jenson’s face, and then it was gone, one of his camera smiles in place. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable. Go and enjoy your party, I’ll see you later.”

“Jenson -”

“Yes, Sebastian?” The use of his full name made him flinch, like he was being scolded. Jenson’s expression softened slightly, but Seb didn’t see it.

“Your room or mine?”

“I’ll let you decide.” Jenson said, ducking out of the room. Seb watched him go, his chest feeling tight. No, not his chest, his heart. He wanted nothing more in this moment to chase Jenson down, without worrying about whoever was watching, or what they would think. But it had taken him so long to get to where he was, and he’d constructed those barriers around his life for a reason. Jenson would see that, he had to.

~*~

Seb stumbled into his hotel room, shutting the door too loudly. Someone groaned from the bed, throwing a pillow his way. “Could you be much louder?”

“Sorry.” Seb snickered, crawling into bed, pressing a kiss to Jenson’s cheek. “Was not sure you would be here.”

“I did think about it.” Jenson yawned. “But it’s your day. Didn’t wanna ruin it.”

“Ich habe dich vermisst.” Seb murmured. “Wait, shit, not english. I missed you. Tonight. Kept looking for you.”

“Figured you wanted to celebrate with your team, not your boyfriend.” Jenson could hear the bitter tone in his voice, and he tried to stop it. He didn’t want to have this conversation with Seb whilst he was drunk. Seb was an emotional person at the best of times, it was going to be a hard enough conversation without trying to calm Seb down. “What time is it?”

“Uh, do not know.” Seb sounded a little sharper, a little bit more with it. “What do you mean, you did not think I did not want to celebrate with you? Of course I wanted to celebrate with you, dummkopf.”

“You wanted to celebrate with me as a friend. Not as your boyfriend.” Jenson snapped. “It’s like you’re embarrassed by me, or terrified. I just want to be able to hold your bloody hand in public and you can’t even stand to be in a three foot area around me sometimes!”

Seb stared at him, swaying a little. Christ, he hadn’t wanted to do this with Seb drunk, and now all Seb was going to remember of his second Championship win was going to be this argument. Great.

“Jenson -” Seb started, breaking off and running a hand through his damp hair. “Ja, I’m scared. I’m very scared. And I do not want it to be the rest of my career. I do not want to be doing well for a gay driver, all of my wins nutzlos - I mean useless. I do not want to be great despite me being gay. Ich will to just be gut.” He stood up, a little wobbly, but he stopped Jenson from helping him, a strange look on his face. “I am going to sleep elsewhere I think.”

“Seb, I…” Jenson trailed off, not sure what to say. Seb shook his head, heading for the door.

“Tomorrow, ja? We will talk tomorrow.”

The door swung shut, and Jenson was left in a silent room, wishing that he could turn back the clock ten minutes.

~*~

Seb looked grumpy when Jenson next saw him. Grumpy and hungover. He stomped towards Jenson, sunglasses on and his mouth curved downwards.

“Afternoon.” Jenson tried, watching Seb’s frown deepen. “How’s the head?”

“Fine.” Seb muttered. “How’s your brain?”

“Fine.”

“Ah, that's right. You don’t have one.” Seb said sarcastically. “I mean, who picks a fight with their boyfriend right after they win the world championship? Give it up for Mr Jenson Button, everyone!”

“I’m sorry for that, you know.”

“Good. You should be.” Seb sniffed. “Make it quick, I have stuff to do and there’s no point dragging it out.”

Jenson frowned. “Dragging what out?”

“Breaking up with me. I just didn’t want you do it last night, I was selfish enough to give myself a night to pretend.”

“I’m not breaking up with you Seb. Is that what you want?” Jenson asked, trying to ignore the cold feeling creeping into his chest. Seb couldn’t mean it, could he?”

“Not, but… it might be easier. You obviously want to tell everyone, and I can’t. I just can’t.” Seb got out, voice cracking towards the end. “Please don’t ask me to.”

Jenson reached out, resting his hand against Seb’s cheek, watching the other man lean into his touch without even thinking about it. “Then I won’t. You’re more important to me than telling people, I don’t want to walk away from this. From you. So we’ll wait until you’re ready.”

“What if that’s never?” Seb whispered.

“Then it’ll be never. We’ll work on it, figure out ways to be in public without being together. But we’ll figure it out together, okay? Together.”

“Okay.” Seb nodded, grabbing onto Jenson’s shirt tightly. “Okay.”

~*~

2019

“So it’s true? You really got married?” Charles looked stunned when he saw the ring on his finger, eyes going wide. “But you’ve never even brought her to a race!”

Seb shrugged, trying not to laugh at the wide-eyed innocence Charles was showing. “Work life and private life separate. I wouldn’t take my partner to work if I worked in an office, or on a building site. Why do it here?”

Charles nodded slowly, still looking astonished. “Well, congratulations. She’s very lucky. You should bring her along sometime though. She must be interested to see what a weekend is like! Maybe you could swap jobs for a day, no? What does she do?”

“They’re a… journalist.” Seb landed on. What else could be say? Commentator? Racer? Retired? Journalist was vague enough. The others would raise more questions. “Sports journalist. Travels a lot.”

“Oh wow… that sounds pretty cool, non?” But I understand now, if she’s a sports journalist. No favourites.” Charles looked pleased that he’d figured it out so quickly, he really didn’t like to think how he would look when the story eventually broke that it was Jenson, not some unnamed sports journalist. “Congratulations again, though!”

“Danke.” Seb called after Charles’s retreating back, trying to fight down that laughter again, and a strange feeling of guilt.

~*~

2016

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Seb asked, stirring milk into the mugs. Jenson was sat at the kitchen table, looking unusually serious for him. “You could stay, if you wanted. McLaren wouldn’t object.”

“Seb, I’m getting old. Don’t make that noise -” He said, cutting through Seb’s protests. “In our job, yes it is. I’m thirty-six. I can’t keep doing this much longer. And it’s selfish! I’m holding on too long, there are kids out there that are much quicker than me and you know it. I shouldn’t deny them their chance just because I don’t want to leave.”

“But they’re kids.” Seb muttered, placing a tea in front of his boyfriend. “They’ll have their chance.”

“And how old were you when you won a race?” Jenson raised an eyebrow, watching Seb blush a little. “You know it as well as I do, I shouldn’t be there anymore. Not as a driver.”

They fell into silence, Seb tapping at his mug. Jenson sat back, sipping his tea, watching the emotions play out across Seb’s face as he argued with himself in his head. It was amazing to see Seb rationalise things by himself now, watching him work it out, all the problems and solutions laid out in front of him. Seb hadn’t exactly grown up since they’d started dating, six years ago now, but he’d become more sure of himself. The confidence was still there, less cocky. He was a natural leader, but he realised now when he was pushing too hard. He wasn’t as highly-strung anymore, less likely to put all the blame on himself when things didn’t go his way. Watching him deal with this, a decision that was not his but affected him anyway, and so calmly. It was amazing.

“You’re staring.” Seb broke him from his thinking, smiling crookedly. “Nice daydream?”

“Lovely, thanks.” Jenson yawned, stretching. “You done processing?”

“Yeah, I suppose you’d better let those kids have their fun. Better them show Fernando up, I guess.”

“The day Fernando gets shown up is the day I lose faith in the sport.” Jenson grinned. “I mean, except you, of course.”

“Damn straight.” Seb grinned, kicking Jenson lightly under the table. “I mean, I’ve got to be on my toes now, with these fast kids of yours showing up.”

“You show them who’s boss.” Jenson agreed. “Thank you. For understanding.”

“Well, I could do with a retired boyfriend at home, he could do the laundry, clean - oi!” Seb yelped as Jenson kicked his shin. “What, it’d be a great job for you!”

~*~

2019

“Will I need to do any damage control this weekend?” Britta asked him, skipping past unnecessary niceties. “I just need to know before.”

Seb shook his head, digging his head into his pocket. “You could’ve asked me last week.”

“It was your big day.” She gives him a kind smile. “You may be a workaholic but I’m certainly not.”

“Yeah, okay.” Seb rolled his eyes. “No, no damage control. We’re not announcing it.”

If Britta was surprised by that, she didn’t show it, just giving a nod and typing something on her phone. He appreciated it, knowing that no-one else was going to give him any breathing space this weekend. After Canada, and then turning up married? He was surprised Ferrari hadn’t shoved him out to do a press conference the minute he’d arrived in the Paddock.

“I think Mattia wants you to give a statement.” Britta said, eerily answering his thoughts. He’d long given up any suspicion of mind-control, putting it down to the fact that he’d spent more time with her than anyone else this last decade. “Probably soon. Don’t say anything that’ll make my job harder.”

“I’ll try not to.” Seb winked as he left, pretending not to hear Britta huffing behind him. She’d forgive him in an hour.

~*~

2019 (Ten days ago)

The plane ride home was quiet. Seb had kept his headphones on since he’d left the hotel, not speaking to him or Britta or anyone since last night. They normally took different planes home, he usually detoured via Monaco or London, but he really didn’t want to leave Seb alone today. Seb would have the dogs for company, but he knew his boyfriend too well. Seb would pour over every little detail, churning over every corner in his mind until it drove him insane.

He watched as Seb clenched his hands around the steering wheel, knuckles white. He sighed, tapping a hand against his leg. Seb stiffened a bit, shuffling a little. “Jenson.”

“Sorry.” He stopped, putting his hands up a little. “Sorry.” 

Seb shook his head, clenching his jaw. “I shouldn’t snap.”

“Seb, I could see from a mile away that you’re tense. You haven’t said a word since we left Montréal. I’m surprised you haven’t snapped before this.”

“I still shouldn’t.”

“You’re human.” Jenson said gently. “I know you too well, I know what you’re probably thinking.”

Seb scoffed. “Doubt it.”

“Try me.”

Seb was silent for a moment, almost as if he hadn’t heard him. Jenson waited, knowing Seb would talk when he was ready. “I’m so angry.” Seb started. “I’m so fucking angry. At myself, at the team, at Lewis, at fucking Mercedes. I wish I could’ve just punched someone in the face, or that I’d gone and screamed at the stewards. I wish I could’ve screamed at them until I was hoarse. I wish I could go back in time and not go off at that corner.” Seb took a deep breath, looking pale. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“That’s okay.” Jenson said simply. “We’ll not think together, if that’s okay?”

“That’s okay.” Seb replied tiredly. “Danke.”

Jenson smiled to himself, turning to look outside, watching the world disappear past him. The world could wait for them to breathe.

~*~

“Okay, but if I was supposed to cook, my cooking would not turn out like this.” Seb was looking at what was supposed to be their dinner. It was more than a little burnt, smoke still rising off one of the corners. “That was supposed to be lasagne. That is not lasagne.”

“I still can’t understand how you’re so bad at this.” Jenson snickered, dodging a slap with a tea-towel. “What? It’s true!”

“Look at me, I’m heartbroken.”

“Heartbroken shmeartbroken. I think you just wanted an excuse for a takeaway.”

“I’m offended.” Seb tried to look upset, but the corners of his mouth were twitching. “I’d never do that.”

“Course not.” Jenson grinned, giving Seb a quick kiss before picking up the burnt pasta and shoving it in the bin. “Go choose something.”

“Love you.” Seb smiled wickedly. “That was not an admission of guilt though.”

“Uhuh.” Jenson chuckled. “Don’t believe that!”

He started to clean out the dish, pouring in enough washing liquid to clean a car. Seb crept back in, winding his arms around Jenson’s waist, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder.

“Does pizza sound good?”

“Sure.” Jenson twisted, drying his hands. “You wanna call, you know what I’ll have.”

“In a minute.” Seb said, tilting his head up for a kiss. “Happy here.”

Jenson looked down at him, at the lazy, contented smirk on his face, and he couldn’t believe how quickly Seb had put the bad race behind him. He’ll say later that he just couldn’t help himself, but it wasn’t that. He’d been turning it over in his mind for some months now, and he’d meant to ask properly, not standing in their kitchen with the smell of burnt lasagne in the air, but it was actually perfect for them.

“Seb -” He started, struggling to get the words out. “Seb, marry me.”

He saw that happy look slide right off Seb’s face, replaced with blank shock. “Was?”

“I mean it.” Jenson said hurriedly. “I know I panicked when you asked, but I’ve been thinking about it properly. It doesn’t scare me anymore, not with you. Seb, please marry me.”

“Ich…” Seb trailed off, blinking. “Uh, ja. I mean, yes. Of course yes.”

Jenson let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, pulling Seb in for a kiss. When they pulled back, slightly breathless, Seb started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. I just can’t believe that you actually asked me!” Seb chuckled, trying to calm himself down. “I’d just gotten used to the idea we never would.”

“Sorry I kept you waiting.”

“Worth it.” Seb grinned. “Completely worth it.”

“I was so worried you were going to say no on principle.” Jenson admitted. “Completely and utterly terrified.”

“I would never. I’d marry you right now, if I could.”

“Really?”

Seb nodded. “I want to marry you as quickly as possible, I’ve been waiting five years.”

“What about the weekend?” Jenson said. “I mean, do you want a big wedding?”

“Not at all.” Seb made a face. “Are you sure? It’s not just my decision here.”

“This weekend seems too far away.” Jenson sad, watching Seb’s face relax. “We are going to order pizza, and we are going to brainstorm, and call people to tell them, and we’ll get married this weekend. Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds perfect.” Seb smiled, giving Jenson a soft kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~*~

2019

“Sebastian, we can all see the ring on your finger. Can we take it as confirmation that you’re now married?”

“Yes, I was married last weekend. My partner and I are very happy, but we would like privacy as well.”

“Can you give us anything? Name, age, occupation? As no-one even knew that you were seeing anyone.”

Seb gave a small laugh, managing not to roll his eyes. “I like to keep my private life private. I see no need to advertise anything about my life away from the Paddock, and I do not intend to start now. We’re very happy, we had the wedding we wanted, surrounded by our families and friends.”

“But -” The journalist tried again, but Seb cut her off.

“I’m not going to speak about my personal life anymore.” He said, making sure she knew he was annoyed now. “So, last race?”

~*~

2025

He stepped out of the car, listening to the noise of the crowd, cheering for him one last time. He could stay here forever, in this little bubble of time, where this was still his world. From tomorrow he’d only be a visitor, watching in through the glass. He wanted to turn back, tell the team he’d made a mistake, he wanted to stay. He didn’t want to go.

He made it through the weighing, and almost all the way to the media pen before he started crying. Jenson was waiting for him, microphone in hand, looking around for him.

He rubbed away the tears, giving a small thankful smile at Britta as she handed him a towel. He took a couple of deep breaths, hiding his face until he knew he was composed again.

“Danke, Britta.” He whispered, giving her a tight hug. “For everything.”

“It was my pleasure.” She whispered back, ruffling his hair. “Go on, he’s waiting.”

He nodded, walking towards the pen, heading straight for Jenson. Jenson grinned, holding out his mic.

“Sebastian Vettel. You did it, you’ve finally retired. It took you a while, how are you feeling now?”

“Well, I am stubborn.” Seb teased. “Overwhelmed, mostly. Feeling too much.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Uh, not sure, in the long term. Maybe commentating, like you? I don’t know. I do know, however, that I’m going to go home to my dogs and my husband, and fall into bed for a while.”

People around him became quiet, looking at him confused. Jenson just continued to smile, winking. “Oh?”

Seb bit back the tears, wiping the stray one away with his hand, smiling at his husband. “Yeah, I think so. We might even go on holiday, I think he deserves it.”

“Does he?”

“He deserves the world.” Seb pushed himself up, jumping over the barrier. “He deserves everything and more.”

The media pen was silent, everyone focused on what was happening before them. Jenson raised an eyebrow, a silent ‘are you sure?’

“I’m sure.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Was all Jenson said, and then his hands were on Seb’s face, pulling him up for a kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Seb whispered, jumping a little, Jenson catching him. He wrapped his legs around Jenson’s waist, resting his forehead against his husband’s. “We did it.”

“So what was it you saying about home and bed?” Jenson teased. “Or shall we give them a show?”

“They’re having a show of a lifetime.” Seb muttered, kissing Jenson again. “Let them stare.”

“Kinky.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Okay.” Seb grinned, watching Jenson as his husband’s brain stopped for a second. “See?”

“You’re a little shit sometimes.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

[astrodances]

Pidge & Rover (A 'Lilo & Stitch' Voltron AU)

FF.net link || AO3 link

Happy Holidays to Zoe (@zoedozy)! I’m your @pidgeholidayexchange2018 buddy! I had a whole lot of fun with this, especially because at first, I thought this was gonna be super hard bc I’m not that big on Disney movies. But one of the few that I truly love is Lilo & Stitch, and when I started fitting VLD characters into the movie, things started to click and then it took off on its own. So, thank you for a very fun challenge! :D I hope you enjoy!

(And this is something I pretty much never do on my fics here on Tumblr, but I have some more notes about the AU at the end of the fic (to avoid spoilers).)

Warnings: character deaths, mentions of experimentation on animals

Pairings: hints of Matt x Allura

"Matt, get out! I have to make a wish!" Pidge hits Matt repeatedly with her pillow to usher him out the door. She's never seen a meteor like this before, and she intends to take full advantage of it, no matter how illogical science may think it is to wish on them. "Can't you go any faster?"

But Matt's resistance and playful laughter are not helping.

"Matt, get out!" She throws her pillow at his back with all the force she can manage, and he finally crosses the threshold to her room. Room clear of older brothers, she slams the door shut and immediately runs over to her window. The cool Hawaiian breeze brushes her cheeks as she kneels and leans against the windowsill, arms folded over each other as she watches the green smoke rise from the meteor's impact site all the way into the starry black night.

Pidge would love nothing more than to go explore the meteorite, but Matt would never let her go out this late at night on her own, and she certainly doesn't want him to come along.

Besides, this wish is more important. A wish on a meteor like this surely has to come true.

So she sifts carefully through her wishes, her heart's desires. Her own rocket. No more bullies. Admission to the Garrison. Her parents alive and back home with her and Matt, and that they'd never left for that stupid trip four years ago.

She settles for something realistic.

"Just...please, I need a friend. Someone nice and who wants to be my friend. Someone who'll take away some of this loneliness. Please."

She sighs after a moment, knowing that her breath is probably better spent elsewhere.

Because of the sigh, though, she doesn't hear the soft click of her door shutting. Nor does she hear the distant roar coming from the meteor.

The next day, Matt surprises Pidge: they're going to the adoption shelter so she can pick out a new pet. At first she's confused, but as Matt gently guides her towards the kennel before talking with the adoption clerk again, her nerves calm. Some unknown part of her knows that this is it. She's going to walk out of here with a cat or dog to call her own. A new friend.

But when she walks through the kennel, Pidge finds it empty. Her shoulders droop with each passing cage and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, she's destined to be alone, until the skittering of claws catches her attention.

She whips around to see something she definitely wasn't expecting: a lion cub, she thinks, but with green-and-white fur, unnaturally yellow eyes, and its front left leg replaced by a silver-and-green prosthetic. She sits there, watching her, her tail gently sweeping the floor. A beautiful creature.

"Hi," Pidge squeaks with a small wave.

Definitely unprepared for it, she hears a hello in the back of her mind, which causes her to stumble back a few steps in shock. Did the cub just...talk to her in her mind?!

She tests her theory. "Um, I'm Pidge. Do you have a name?"

I am the one known as the Green Lion.

Pidge can't believe her...mind, or any of her senses for that matter, not even when the lion trots over to her and rubs up against her leg with a welcoming purr. But by the time she walks back out of the kennel, she's a believer. Even as Matt and the clerk recoil in shock at her choice of pet, and she finds out that only she can hear the lion, she knows: her wish was granted.

After the initial doubts wear off, the clerk asks for a name.

"Her name is...Rover," Pidge declares confidently.

"That's not a cat's name," the clerk begins, only to change gears when Matt quietly warns him. "...in Italy, but here it's a great name! Very unique!"

As Pidge watches her new cat stand alert on the shelter's front porch, she hears another thought. Rover? Is that my Earth name?

Pidge does a double take. "What? Earth name?"

Rover quickly looks away. Never mind.

After what Pidge can only describe as one of the most peculiar afternoons of her life, she finds herself staring across the table at Rover, who's perched on a seat of her own, at Matt's place of work: Galactic Luaus.

"No pets at the table, Pidge," Matt reminds her for the fifth time that night as he picks up her empty dinner plate. He takes stock of the way his little sister sighs and he wants to ask what's wrong, but he can't. Not while he's working. So instead he offers, "Want some cake?"

She merely shrugs and mumbles, "Sure," but he can see the way the corner of her mouth ticks up into a grin, and he smiles as he leaves for the kitchen.

Allura, one of his coworkers (and his crush, according to his journal), then walks by, fresh off the stage after another successful fire-dancing performance. Pidge perks up and waves her over. "Hey, Allura, check it out! I got a cat!"

It takes all of one look for things to turn from an innocent introduction into a spiteful standoff. In an instant, Rover is on all fours in a ready stance, growling at Allura, who looks like she's ready to bolt but doesn't want to make a scene. In the next, Rover is pouncing on Allura and pinning her to the ground, snarling in her face as nearby tourists stand up from their seats to get a better look at the scene.

Pidge goes to pull Rover off of Allura, but before she can walk two steps, her head's filled with not one, but two sets of thoughts. She tries to hear them through all the noise of the crowd.

Tell me where–––Lion is!

–––on your life, you–––

I will find––one way or–––. ––for's on his way.

I'm not go–––let him or––––itch take you–––

It's only when Matt rushes by her that Pidge can even comprehend that Rover was talking to Allura. An eerie feeling snakes down her spine. Why can Allura converse with Rover? And what in the world are they arguing about?

Matt's quick to pry Rover off of Allura, who's hair and outfit got ruffled in the skirmish. Rover simply hisses down at her, paws swiping violently at empty air as she wiggles to break free of Matt's grip. Lotor, their boss, strides into the half-circle now surrounding the three of them and glances between Allura and Matt.

"Is that your cat, Holt?" Lotor demands.

Matt stutters, willing himself not to look at Pidge before nodding affirmatively.

Lotor closes his eyes and sighs, closing the few steps between him and arm's reach of Rover. He's much quieter now. "Leave. I don't think this is going to work out."

As Lotor returns to help Allura up, Matt's gaze falls to the ground. He sets Rover down, then turns and walks slowly past Pidge, simply beckoning her to follow with a wave of his hand. She makes sure Rover's following her, and together, they leave.

The next morning, Pidge awakes to the sound of a knock at the front door and Rover nowhere to be found. In a scramble, she grabs her glasses off of her nightstand and scurries down the stairs, pausing before she comes into view of the front door. She hears whispering and can feel the tension radiating from her cat. She's about to peek around the corner, when she hears her in her mind.

Stop.

Pidge wants to question why, even though she can't. So she stays still and listens.

"-I can't keep covering for you with Iverson, Matt. I'm sorry."

"Look, just tell him I'm in between jobs right now, okay? I'll find a new one by the end of the week, by the end of today if I can help it."

"And when are you going to study in that time?"

"I've been studying. I got this, Shiro, okay? I promise."

A sigh. "You better ace that exam. Otherwise, I don't think I'll be able to stop Iverson this time. And you have 'til the end of the week for the job." Another sigh. "I know things are tough, but you can do this, Matt. You have greatness within."

The door closes after a few seconds, and by then, Pidge is already back up the stairs in her room.

That afternoon, Pidge and Rover join Matt in his search for a new job. Or rather, he searches while they hang out nearby, observing the scene.

While Matt tries his hand at a coffee shop, Pidge and Rover sit inconspicuously at a table, far away from other patrons. Pidge sips triumphantly at her coffee; it was the only way Matt could get her to stop teasing him about his crush on Allura.

As she revels in the warmth of the drink, she hears Rover ask, Who is Shiro?

Pidge sighs. "Shiro's...an old family friend, and Matt's commanding officer at the Garrison."

Rover squints her eyes, making them catch a ray of sunshine. Her tail twitches defensively. Your brother is with the government?

"Not quite yet. He's in prep school right now." Pidge's expression drops. "He's...been having a hard time with it lately. Pretty much ever since our parents died, he's been on thin ice there. I guess, between earning money to pay for his tuition, and taking care of me, it doesn't leave him a lot of time to actually focus on school..."

They both fall silent, but Pidge shakes it off. She knows her brother's doing the best he can. It's not his fault he got stuck having to raise his little sister. She decides to shift the attention.

"Can I ask you a question?" she asks Rover, and when the cat nods, she continues. "What's your deal with Allura?"

Rover tilts her head innocently. Whatever do you mean?

"You know what I mean." Pidge's voice drops to a whisper as she leans in, making sure others can't hear her. "Why did you attack her? And why could I hear her thoughts as well as yours?"

A few ticks pass by before Rover replies, ignoring her questions altogether. Did you hear anything specific?

Before Pidge can call her out on it, Matt calls for them.

Ah, we should go, Rover thinks a little too quickly. She leaps off of her chair towards the older Holt sibling. Looks like he did not get the job. We should comfort him.

But Pidge doesn't move. The conversation begins swirling around in her head as she tries to combine it with everything else that's happened. Rover was suspicious of Shiro and Matt's involvement with the Garrison. She flat-out attacked Allura. They seemed to know each other, and they definitely shared common knowledge about...what? Another lion? And some guy that was "on his way?" And they could both talk to each other through their thoughts.

Pidge's eyes grow wide. The meteor.

She knew from the beginning that her cat, her lion, was different, from her appearance to her telepathic abilities, but Pidge must've been too focused on the fact that she has a friend now. But now, things are starting to fall into place.

Are Allura and Rover...aliens?

Pidge wakes up late the next morning. Yesterday had drained her, Matt even more so. They had walked and backtracked all over town with no luck in finding Matt a job, and Pidge had been on high alert ever since her realization. She hadn't said anything to Rover or her brother about it, but she watched carefully and stayed up well into the night, trying to make sense of it all.

A small part of her loves this: another alien conspiracy to try and solve, just like she's done so many times in the past. But the part of her that knows that this one is real, that she's right in the middle of it all, is frightened. It feels like she has no one to turn to, that everyone she's close to is a part of it, even Matt and Shiro. They might not be aware of anything going on with it, but they're with the Garrison. She can't just tell them and actually drag them into this.

Worst of all, it feels like she's going to lose what she thought was a friend specially sent for her.

With a groan, Pidge rolls over and reaches for her glasses first, then her phone on her nightstand. She has a text from Matt, telling her that he went into town with Allura to look into a "very promising job lead." She texts him back "good luck," and almost adds a warning to be careful, but decides better of it.

As she gets up from bed, she notices that Rover is, once again, nowhere to be found. Anywhere in the house, it seems, a quick check downstairs and outside tells her.

Pidge's shoulders slump. She knew it was too good to be true.

As she starts to get out Matt's secret stash of coffee, the consideration of putting out "missing pet" flyers enters her mind.

The next thought that enters her mind is not hers, and is accompanied by the sound of shattering glass.

Watch out!

Pidge immediately wheels about, sending coffee grounds flying everywhere, and backs into the counter. Matt's gonna kill her for that.

But any and all thoughts of coffee leave her mind as chaos enters the room. She watches in stunned disbelief as a fully-grown black lioness sprints through the kitchen, pursued shortly by Rover and two pointy-eared men, one with white hair and a beard, the other with orange hair and a mustache.

Well, that explained some things.

Pidge quickly follows the scene into the living room, where it has escalated even further. The lions are thrashing about in a literal catfight, and the two men––aliens––look like they're trying to capture the black one without getting scratched.

And oh god, the thoughts. Pidge can't make sense of any of them, just that she can hear all four yelling in her head in addition to the actual yelling and growling echoing off the living room walls.

She can't do anything but stand there, spellbound by the fight and worried for Rover as her living room's torn to shreds. Her cat seems to be holding her own though, enough to at least keep things in a deadlock. It isn't until the white-haired alien pulls out what looks like a blaster and aims it at the lions that Pidge actually moves.

"ROVER!"

Pidge knocks herself into the alien's arm, causing the blaster to shoot a searing hole through the ceiling. A split-second of silence follows: the alien glares at Pidge, and she looks to Rover, who looks betrayed either by the alien or Pidge herself, she can't tell.

When the black lion takes the opportunity granted by everyone's hesitation to slip free and crash through the front window, the two aliens move first, but Pidge grabs onto the white-haired one's wrist. He practically snarls back at her, then yells to his companion, "Coran, don't lose her!" The orange-haired alien, Coran, yells back some sort of affirmation as he takes off through the front door. With an exaggerated yank of his wrist, the white-haired one breaks free from Pidge's grip and follows him.

"Hey!" Pidge huffs after him, but it's no use.

As the dust settles, she's surprised to see Rover still standing there.

The only thing she can think to ask is, "Mind finally explaining what's going on?" She doesn't mean for it to come out so angry, but she doesn't miss the wince that crosses Rover's features as she looks away.

The Black Lion and I, we are...experiments. Weapons. From outer space. Rover carefully glances back up at her, and relays, I never meant to drag you into this. I am sorry.

Pidge eyes Rover's prosthetic leg, and her heart falls. That someone would do that to anyone, let alone an innocent animal, and just use them like that is beyond her. It makes her wish that she'd been completely wrong about this conspiracy theory of hers. She wills herself to breathe, and asks, "So...Allura is...?"

An alien as well. Her father sent her here to protect the Black Lion, but...things have changed since then. I was sent to find them both, and when I–

The sound of wood breaking above them makes them both jump and Pidge screams as a giant net covers them both and turns everything dark. There's a flail of limbs and paws jumbled together with yelling and growling as she finally latches onto Rover's neck, she thinks. They're being carried by someone who's obviously very strong and has deafening footsteps.

Despite these correct assumptions, though, Pidge is still very surprised when she's shaken out into a glass tube and meets her kidnapper face-to-horrifyingly-giant-purple-fluffy-face. No matter how much she tries to back away in her confined space, she can't escape the sight of him. "Giant" seems too small a word to describe his size once she actually sees how tall he is.

Sendak, Rover thinks, causing Pidge to look over at her. She's in a defensive stance, snarling at him.

Sendak laughs and taps the glass, which has been latched onto some sort of vehicle. When he speaks, Pidge has to cover her ears, his voice is so loud. "Alfor may not be able to capture the Black Lion," he begins. "But with your help, I will."

He laughs again when Rover tries to bust through the glass and walks out of view. A few seconds later, they're driving...up? No, they're flying. Pidge gulps. If their captor is the one flying, then this must be a spaceship. That thought alone is enough to cause a swell of panic in her chest, which only rises when Rover tells her, I will return, and then vanishes from view.

Pidge's mouth is agape. Here she is in a situation that's so unbelievable she can't even begin to explain it, let alone understand it, and the only thought she has to comfort her is I will return.

What else can she do but trust it?

It's not even an hour that passes by the time Rover rescues her, yet things have changed so much.

For one thing, Rover's now working with the Black Lion.

While Rover rescues Pidge from the glass tube (there are several frantic thoughts of do NOT look down), the Black Lion fights Sendak in the cockpit, and wins. She tosses him deep into the Pacific Ocean, and destroys his ship.

When the two lions leap from the burning wreckage, with Pidge's arms wrapped around Rover's neck, she screws her eyes shut. The next time that she opens them, she's hanging onto the wing of Alfor and Coran's spaceship. Matt and Allura are cheering alongside the two men inside.

They are also on our side now, Rover explains at Pidge's confused look.

As the ship crash-lands into the shore, some sense of calm finally winds its way into Pidge. There'll be time for full explanations later, but for now, everyone's safe and on the same page, and the bad guy's gone.

Or so she thinks.

When they all step out onto the sand, the first thing she hears is, "Guards, capture them!"

Pidge quickly blinks back the sunlight to see that everyone but her and Matt are being held by robotic sentries. The one who gave the order is standing about twenty feet away: a tall, lanky blue alien woman, wearing a purple hooded cloak.

"Haggar," Allura spits out, fighting against the sentry who's holding her. "What are you doing here?"

Haggar's voice is deep and chilling when she talks. "I knew your father would betray his oath, and so I've come to retrieve the Black Lion, and the Green Lion, myself."

"You're deranged if you think I'm going to let that happen," Alfor answers. "I'm not going to be your prisoner anymore."

"And what makes you think that's the case?"

Alfor smirks. "Because I've got five lions, and you've got none."

Before Haggar can react, Rover and the Black Lion teleport from the grip of their sentries closer to her, and are joined by three other lion cubs – a red one, a blue one, and a yellow one, each with a different prosthetic leg.

Haggar whirls around and holds up what looks like a black ball of plasma to Pidge, with the intent to use it against the lions. Just as she's about to aim it at Rover, however, the Black Lion shoots her in the back with a laser from her mouth, and the other lions join in on the action until nothing remains of the witch.

At the same time that this happens, Shiro ambushes the group with a clear shot to the side of a sentry's head, which spurs Allura, Coran, and Alfor to fight back against the ones holding them as he knocks all of them out.

Matt smiles at his friend, while Pidge can hardly believe her eyes.

"How did you even know...?" she asks Shiro as he approaches the group.

He smiles, twirling a blaster in his hand and winking at her. "Matt called me. Said I should come check out your new cat?"

Yeah, she missed a lot in Sendak's ship.

As introductions are made and damage control begins, Pidge searches through the growing crowd to find her cat, her hero. When a soft meow reaches her ears, she twirls around to find Rover standing proudly.

Looking for me?

Pidge laughs and runs forward, wrapping her arms around Rover's neck as she falls to her knees. She plants a soft kiss into her fur, then says, "I'm so glad you're alright."

Rover nuzzles her shoulder. As am I with you.

They sit down and curl up together and watch everyone move around them. The sun's low in the sky now. It makes everything golden, including Rover's eyes.

"Does this mean you're going back into space now?" Pidge asks. She's afraid of the answer, but she has to know.

I do not think so. That earns a look of surprise. I am sure Allura and the Black Lion can vouch for me, and that the other lions will agree, but I want to stay right here by your side.

Pidge can only smile gratefully as she leans back against Rover and they watch the beginning of the sunset together.

Wish well spent.

Official ‘Pidge & Rover’ AU notes:

Character parallels are in parentheses where applicable. This is based only on the first movie, but feel free to continue it with the other movies/tv series in your head if you wish!

In essence, the main premise strays away from a Pidge & Rover-centric story, and instead is more like the Green Lion is a catalyst for Pidge uncovering the conspiracy/mystery around Allura!

I headcanon Pidge (Lilo) in this AU to be about the age she is in that last flashback of "Reunion" - aka she's about to start middle school, so give or take 12. Which works as a nice middle ground between her VLD canon age (15-16) and my headcanon for Lilo's age (7-8).

Matt (Nani), on the other hand, is probably a little older than her in this than he is in VLD. I have him in his early-mid 20s.

This probably doesn't line up with anything in real life, but for the AU, I have the Garrison having a "prep school" in Hawaii, which I guess is basically everything through college, if we're going by Matt's age? Main point is, is that there's some sort of tuition he has to pay, which is hard to do when he can't find/hold a steady, well-paying job, has to provide for his little sister, and has to still find the time to study and actually succeed at the Garrison.

Sam and Colleen (Lilo's parents) died when Pidge was about 8, during some trip for the Garrison (maybe even into space, if you wanna be bold). Sam was a high-ranking officer there, and he had a close friendship with Shiro (Cobra Bubbles), just like in canon. Because of it, Shiro kept a close eye on Matt at the Garrison after Sam's death, and basically kept Iverson from kicking him out due to poor grades.

Pidge and Matt are on a lot better terms than Lilo and Nani as far as sibling/guardian relationships go (between this and the Garrison thing, there's no social worker plot line in the AU). They grew closer to each other after their parents' deaths, though since Matt is so busy, Pidge often finds herself alone. But instead of stirring up trouble (accidentally or not) like Lilo, Pidge just keeps to herself mostly. She doesn't have anyone like Mertle to even pretend is a friend.

She does have bullies to deal with though, and Matt does indeed cheer her up by bringing her cake. ;P

Instead of photography, Pidge's main interest in this is thinking up conspiracy theories - and boy does she get one in this, eh?

Rover (Stitch) isn't destructive like Stitch. I played around with the idea of Haggar adding a bit of programming for her to be violent should someone stand in the way of her finding the Black Lion, which I guess does come through, but it's not as pronounced as I had it at first. Her main function is to scout out the Black Lion's location.

Rover's definitely more similar to a cat that Stitch is to a dog. I thought about having her be like Stitch, just more cat-like than dog-like, but the image wasn't settling right in my head.

Rover's essentially an alien cyborg lion cub (as are the other lions). They're experiments created by Alfor (Jumba), an Altean scientist in this AU.

Rover does not use contractions.

The Galra took over the Alteans however long ago, and so before they could get to him, Alfor sent his daughter, Allura (David), and his first (and at the time only) lion, the Black Lion, far away to protect them. They ended up on Earth, and Allura hid the lion and blended in with the population.

There's no Zarkon in this, but Haggar basically has his goal in mind of finding the Black Lion.

Haggar (the Grand Councilwoman) had heard of Alfor's first lion, and so when he became her prisoner, she forced him to make more lions and use them to find the Black Lion. She herself did more experiments on them (that's where they got their prosthetic legs, and why the Black Lion doesn't have any prosthetics).

After ordering him to send out the lions to find the Black Lion, Haggar offered Alfor a deal: once he got a signal that Allura/the Black Lion had been found, he would go capture the Black Lion in exchange for his freedom. While he didn't want to put Allura in harm's way, being a prisoner had made him desperate. (Later, he has a change of heart not because he's fired (like in the movie), but because he realizes that he has allies in Allura, Coran, Matt, Pidge, and the lions.)

Coran (Pleakley) is Alfor's assistant and another Altean prisoner. Alfor forces Haggar to include him in the freedom deal and let him come along because, if anything, he'll need his help in capturing the lion and because he loves him.

Sendak (Captain Gantu) is basically the same all-around, both as Gantu and in his VLD role as Haggar's puppet. XD

Both Haggar and Sendak are evil through and through in this AU. In my mind as I wrote this, they didn't have any chance of redemption, and that's why they died. (They weren't in charge/part of some Galactic Federation out there; it's still the Galra.) In other words, an adoption certificate definitely wouldn't have stopped Haggar.

Some other little things:

Allura and Matt like to surf together, Pidge not so much.

Lotor is the equivalent of the luau manager. ;P

YOU CAN BET YOUR QUIZNAK THAT THIS DIALOGUE HAPPENED (it was just too short a scene to include):

Pidge: "Did you lose your job because of Rover and me?"

Matt: "Nah, the manager's a space vampire, and he wanted me to join his legion of the undead."

If there's anything I didn't cover but you'd like my take on, please don't be afraid to drop me a message! :D

[annabethisterrified]

Book Review: THE BURNING MAZE (The Trials of Apollo #3) by Rick Riordan

There are no spoilers unless you click ‘Read More’!

California is burning. After shutting down the oraclic sites in New York and Indiana, Apollo (aka Lester Papadapaulos) and Meg McCaffrey team up with Grover Underwood to find the source of the burning maze, a morphed portion of the Labyrinth where the third oracle is trapped. Along the way, they must work with demigods Piper McLean and Jason Grace to figure out how to navigate the twisting, smoldering maze.

But the third emperor of the evil Roman Triumvirate makes Nero and Commodus look pathetic. With the stakes high and their world burning, Apollo and his friends must put out the flames before they devour everything. 

In classic Riordan tradition, this third installment amps up the drama and danger. With dark and mature themes, the lighthearted aspect of this series begins to dwindle away as real consequences and devastating decisions wreak havoc upon Apollo, Meg, Grover, Jason, and Piper. The Burning Maze is a cinematic, heartbreaking adventure that elevates the stakes and leads us to the grittiest part of The Trials of Apollo. Once again, this book proves that this third series is not a spin-off or separate from Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus; The Burning Maze proves that The Trials of Apollo explores the loose ends and lingering fears the first two series laid out. A must-read for any fan of Riordan’s mythological mayhem. Just, uh, grab some tissues first.

SPOILERY COMMENTARY BELOW!

Heyyyy there! So seriously, massive spoilers ahead. You sure about this? Okay. Also, I gotta break this down into chapters. It’ll be the only organized part of this, trust me.

1. That Fun Five Letter Word...Starts with D! 

2. The Devolution of Jasiper

3. Apollo’s Arc

4. What Comes Next...?

5. Miscellaneous Sobbing

-----

CHAPTER ONE: THAT FUN FIVE LETTER WORD...STARTS WITH D!

I am not okay. Like, really not okay. Granted, I’m writing this review less than thirty minutes after finishing, so maybe I need more time to process what just went down but....damn. Like, my stomach ACTUALLY HURTS. I AM IN PHYSICAL PAIN BECAUSE OF THE CONTENT OF THIS BOOK.

In a good way, you ask?

Uh. It’s hard to say. This book is tricky to review. I’ve had an easy, breezy time describing my feelings for all the PJO, HoO, and ToA books prior. But in The Burning Maze...everything changes. 

For years, a lot of us on here have lamented the fact that we felt Riordan’s books have lacked a degree of consequence. On the rare occasion that he did kill a character, he brought them back-- Jason in The Lost Hero, Hazel, Leo...I could go on. 

And it’s not that we’re bad people who want to watch our favorites perish! We just...well, if you keep bringing back dead characters, we start to lose the fear that a character’s death should instill.

I guess he heard us, then.

Because if you’ve read this book, you understand too-- there isn’t anything bringing Jason back. This was real. Final. (In his own words!) And that kind of hurts. A lot. But at the same time, as heartbroken and sick as I feel, this is what we’ve been asking for for a long time-- something that reminds us of what’s at stake. 

Something, I suppose, to make us remember that. (See what I did there?)

Now, I’ll talk more about this in Chapter Two because I have a lot of confused feelings, but I for one, when it was announced that Piper and Jason would be in this book, assumed it would be a joint arrival, if that makes sense? I wasn’t expecting the two of them to be starkly and individually portrayed and explored...and yeah, I gotta wait til the next section to talk about this. Back to Jason’s demise.

And yeah, this was spoiled for me. And yeah, it was my own fault, so don’t feel bad for me. Still, I didn’t know HOW or WHY he would die, so there was plenty of heartbreak for me to uncover along the way. I was mentally steeling myself for the first 300 pages of this book, dreading what I knew was coming, crying at nearly every scene he was in (which frankly, wasn’t many scenes!) and basically losing my damn mind remembering ceaselessly all the times we’ve had over the past what? EIGHT YEARS? Since Lost Hero came out? I’ve loved Jason since The Lost Hero...since I was TWELVE. I am now TWENTY. I watched him grow. I waited impatiently every year for the next HoO book to release. I watched him fall in love with Piper and expand his loyalties and grow stronger and wiser and end up with such a fitting duty-- pontifex maximus.

And today, eight years later, I watched it all get ripped away. 

And I’m torn, because I think in a dark way, this is an absolutely tragically beautiful arc for Riordan to explore and utilize in ToA. I think it was a long overdue and necessary decision that clarifies the real danger our characters should have been exposed to much earlier. 

But I really thought he was going to be okay after Blood of Olympus. I thought our Seven were safe. I had already imagined and accepted what their lives were going to be like-- I had imagined he and Piper’s kids, his job as pontifex maximus, everything that was going to unfold for him... I thought the great tragedy of his long, happy life was going to be not growing old with his sister, Thalia. 

And it was hard to have him brought back into the action just for half of a book, just to get killed so gruesomely, so violently...without even getting to say goodbye, a fact that Piper and Leo later lament. So am I outraged at this writing decision? Or simply as a loyal reader? I think it’s the latter. I am angry for Jason and the friends he left behind, but I also deeply respect this writing decision. It’s a weird balance, and my thoughts will likely evolve as I have more time to digest.

I don’t feel good thoughts about this book, but that’s not a negative on the story. I think Riordan knocked it out of the park. That doesn’t diminish the dread and devastation I feel as a reader who has loved Jason for eight years. As a reader who had happiness for Jason’s future, and as a reader who really, truly, thought it would happen. 

Then again, isn’t that the whole point? Demigods are never, ever safe. And now Apollo will always remember what it is to be human, because Jason did such a goddamn noble job of it. 

I’m proud of that boy, and deeply sorry for him. I’m gutted. I’ll miss him terribly. I just hope this arc is further explored and resonates in the final two books in this saga. I just hope it wasn’t for nothing, but I know it won’t be. 

Don’t get me fucking started on 

Coach Hedge: “I was his protector.”

Leo: “Where’s Jason?”

Goodbye, please see Chapter Five for more screaming!

CHAPTER TWO: THE DEVOLUTION OF JASIPER

Ironically, this somehow hurts me just as much as Jason’s death? Like...okay. Let me think of how I can articulate this, because I’m feeling a lot of things. 

First off, I (unlike many of us bloggers here) genuinely loved Jason’s character and his romantic pairing with Piper right from the get-go. It clicked for me. It really resonated, and I was fully supportive. I loved the strange dynamic of having this fake foundation, and watching it develop (seemingly) into something real-- something unique and strong, a soaring romance worthy for a daughter of Aphrodite. 

We didn’t see it happen on-page, but they were an official couple by The Mark of Athena and I was behind it 100%. They had rough patches that I guess were indicative of future problems, but they were easily swept aside by the larger importance of surviving their Argo 2 mission. I loved their tender, intimate moments in The House of Hades and The Blood of Olympus.

Truly.

So I was confused when they were broken up (again, something we don’t see happen on-page) in The Burning Maze. And being from Apollo’s perspective, we of course will never fully understand why this happened. 

Now again, I have to deal between looking at this from two perspectives. Am I upset at the author’s decision, or just as a really-passionate Jasiper shipper? Of course, my immediate thought was that one of them had broken it off to protect the other, probably thinking “oh fuck if one of us is gonna die in the maze, maybe I should break this off to avoid future pain”. But then jason goes and tells apollo that it was PIPER that broke it off well before the burning maze was even a thing and i’m like WATTTTTT

I’m still like WHATTTTTTT

So, I wait for Piper to have her heart-to-heart with Apollo. (Listen, I fucking LOVE Piper in this book. What a badass motherfucker. Holy fuck.) And I’m expecting her to give a concrete, selfless reason for breaking things off with Jason.

I wasn’t expecting her to have fallen out of love with him.

But the more Piper explained herself, the more I realized that I was just the type of secondhand observer that Piper had started to resent. Apollo put it succinctly: “Your relationship was born in crisis.” 

It really was-- beyond Hera’s meddling and Aphrodite’s hyperfixation, these kids were also in WAR MODE. That’s enough to stress anyone out. I hadn’t really stopped to consider what Piper was dealing with, as a daughter of the love goddess. How everyone expected her to have everything romantic figured out. To have a love story to rival Percy and Annabeth’s. How her first love must be the love of her life.

And the whole world-- and the whole pantheon-- was watching them and expecting it. Judging them, all the time. 

Like, yeah, girl. That’s a lot. I think I get why Piper did it, even if it broke my heart. That being said, I do wish that if Jason had lived, they eventually would’ve made their way back to each other and fallen in love for real.

But Piper was right. She deserved to forge her own identity, even with the world restraining her constantly. I wish I knew exactly where her feelings for him stood, but at least we know with certainty that she always considered him her closest friend. She clearly loved him so much, more than anyone-- even if it was a different type of love than the one they first shared.

Just because she’s Aphrodite’s daughter doesn’t mean she should have to fall in love so dramatically and eternally. That isn’t fair for her. Her first remark to Grover was cutting and clear-- Jason and Piper were never like Percy and Annabeth. 

And this is still hard for me to stomach, since I love(d) them together, but I am glad Riordan is exploring the much more realistic aspect to relationships. As someone in a long-term relationship, I can empathize with Piper’s fears. The world always wants couples to be “Percabeth”-- together forever, utterly known to each other. 

But the reality is, most couples are nothing like Percabeth. And that’s okay-- that’s normal, and as sad as that is, at least it was acknowledged and addressed and explored. 

It took away some of the sting of Jason’s death that I’d been anticipating. I thought maybe there would be some last-minute confessional, some last tender moment between them. There wasn’t. He was torn away so fast. 

I’m devastated that Piper has to live on without him. But she has her father, Hedge and Millie, Leo...she’ll be okay. She’s a fighter. Always was. 

It’s hard to see one of Riordan’s hallmark couples fall apart in a way you don’t expect. But I can’t say it’s not realistic, and it’s kind of relieving to see one of his romances take on the tough stuff and not fall into a sweeping, encompassing romance that is usually unrealistic. 

CHAPTER THREE: APOLLO’S ARC

YEESSSSS RIORDAN DONE GOOD ON THIS PART

Apollo’s narration and character has finally developed into someone I can truly empathize and sympathize with. As cool as it would’ve been to see some of these scenes from other character’s points of view, I was really happy to read through Apollo’s eyes. I love love love where his character is going.

God....him referring to Jason as ‘brother’...his obvious care for Meg...it got me good. I’ve always liked Apollo as a narrator, but this is the first book where I LOVED IT. He’s set on a good path! He’s still funny, thank goodness, but there’s also a darker, wiser grace to him now that gives the story a more serious edge that will definitely help the books moving forwards.

I can’t believe he tried to kill himself to save the others. Ugh. What a guy. 

Love him!

That is all.

CHAPTER FOUR: WHAT COMES NEXT...?

So, I did a big happy dance when the next prophecy was revealed....REYNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE REYNA OH MY GOD WE GET A WHOLE BOOK WITH HER I’M PSYCHED FOR THE TYRANT’S TOMB 

But beyond REYnA!!!!! and Camp Jupiter????? I don’t really know what to expect for this fourth installment. I imagine we’re going to Delphi for the final book, but sticking to the Bay Area for The Tyrant’s Tomb??? 

I’m like...extremely apprehensive because a lot of people are predicting that Apollo and Reyna are gonna fall in love?????????????????????? like what with her final prophecy: no demigod shall heal your heart

umm. first off, reyna could do WAY better. But like...is this actually gonna happen? UHHHHH????? Guess I have a full year to think on this one hmmm

CHAPTER FIVE: MISCELLANEOUS SOBBING

soooooo i’m like kinda numb kinda devastated kinda in love with this book kinda wanna throw it against a wall

Like, okay, I recognize that as an author Riordan did an excellent job writing this book and I am so excited to see what goes down next.

BUT ALSO I HAD BEEN IMAGINING THIS DREAMY REUNION SCENE BETWEEN LEO/PIPER/JASON AND THEN IT HAPPENED EXCEPT JASON WAS IN A COFFIN??????????????????????????????????????????? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ALSO CANNOT BELIEVE PIPER IS MOVING TO OKLA-FUCKING-HOMA i mean actually I’m really happy that she’s finding her roots and that she’s taking some well-deserved family time and that coach hedge is with her but also I WISH SHE WAS WITH HER CHB AND CF FRIENDDDSSS

at least it’s kinda close to Indianapolis?

jesus christ

Anyway, I really loved Piper in this book-- my queen, my crush, my...oh my god i just love her she’s a fantastic character and i really hope she’ll come back somehow for the final battle

I’m also happy that Grover gets to go back to CHB and see Percy and Annabeth again! Yay!!! And I’m happy that Camp Jupiter hasn’t burned down to the ground yet! Yay!!!!!

In conclusion, I will grieve Jason Grace forever. But damn, what a book. See you next spring, demigods. 

PLEASE MESSAGE ME TO TALK ABOUT THIS IF YOU’VE READ TBM I NEED TO CRY MORE

[askalt2d]

Sweetness

Over a cup of mid-afternoon tea, 2D pauses in his recounting of Susan from daycare’s daily dose of gossip to check his phone. “Oh, I got a notification from the coupon site fingy– it’s couples night at tha’ fancy Italian place.” He looks up, excited. “I know it’s not, like, official date night ‘til Friday...but–”

Stuart smiles. “A nice dinner out sounds lovely.”

2D surges up to give his husband a kiss, nearly upsetting his teacup in the process. “Aw, Stu, fank you!”

With their tea forgotten, they begin to plan their evening.

Ever the enthusiastic aunt, Noodle immediately agrees to watch Parker for the night– “We’ll do our hair and mess around on your papa’s keyboard, Twochie!” she’d said to Parker over the phone, and had been quickly shot down on the second part by 2D– and she comes to pick up her niece just before sunset.

“Don’t get into too much trouble, you two,” she warns cheekily, buckling Parker’s car seat into her Jaguar.

2D grins. “No promises!”

Given the circumstances of the month, though, they’re bound to keep that promise either way.

The Pots dress to the nines, even though it’s only a local restaurant. Stuart wears the cornflower tie from their wedding with a crisp black suit, and 2D even tucks a pocket square into the breast pocket of his sleek navy jacket.

“You look stunnin’, bluebird,” Stuart murmurs as their taxi pulls up. 

2D blushes and gently shoves his shoulder. “Ya ain’t too bad yourself, love.”

The two of them kiss in the cab ride to dinner, but it isn’t lustful or wanting– quick, sweet pecks and a soft meeting of their lips instead of Stuart’s tongue down his husband’s throat. The driver glances back disapprovingly a few times, and 2D bursts into giggles, blushing like a teenager at being caught.

When they arrive, and after generously tipping the cabbie, Stuart takes 2D’s hand like a real gentleman and leads him inside.

Soft candlelight and dimmed electric lamps light the warm interior of the restaurant. There’s music playing– classical, not really to their taste, but it suits the mood. The tables are draped in red and adorned with a single fabric rose each. Only a few other couples are present, given that it’s a Wednesday night, so the Pots are led to a free table right away.

“Remember when we took Parker ‘ere,” 2D says, once the waiter leaves, “an’ she spit up on the menu?”

Stuart holds back a snort of laughter. “That was here?”

“Yep! We were sittin’ just over there.” He points to a table near the front of the restaurant. “Ya tried feedin’ her mashed potatoes...”

“You’re the only one who can convince her to eat food she doesn’t like, bluebird.” Stuart grins and takes a sip of his wine. “I really think you’re her favorite.”

2D’s face falls comically fast. “Oh, Stu, don’t say tha’!”

“I was jokin’, love.”

“Yeh, but still...” He reaches across the table and takes his husband’s hand. “She loves ya so much, Stu. She loves both of us equally, I jus’ know it. Yeh, I can get ‘er to eat nasty stuff, but you– you change the batteries in ‘er hearin’ aid so quick an’ delicate while my fingers just shake all over the place. You never panic when she gets overwhelmed an’ starts screamin’, ya just hold ‘er and sing and it works like magic.” 2D smiles softly at him. “You’re a good dad, Stu– you’re a great dad.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeh.”

Stuart leans over the table to kiss his husband. “I think you’re great, too.” 2D hums happily into the kiss, letting the rest of the world melt away. Stuart’s lips are warm and a little bit chapped, tasting of the wine he’d been sipping and of Stuart’s own underlying sweetness.

There’s an embarrassed “Er...” from above them. 2D pulls away, blushing, as the waiter politely examines the ceiling instead of the kissing couple. “Are we ready to order?”

“Spaghetti, please,” 2D says, dabbing his lips with his napkin. He peeks up at Stuart, and stifles a laugh. His husband still looks a bit spellbound. “Love? Wot d’ya want?”

“You– er, I mean, what you ordered. Same thing. I– yeah.” His face is flushed. 

As soon as the waiter leaves, 2D kicks him gently under the table. “Frisky.”

“I didn’t mean it in a randy way,” Stuart mutters, a bit embarrassed. “At least, not completely.”

“Well,” 2D says in a very matter-of-fact way, reaching for the bread, “ya can’t eat me for dinner. I ain’t very nutritious, I’d imagine.” 

Stuart huffs out a fond sort of sigh. He picks up a packet of butter and warms it in his hands before handing it to 2D. “Hush and eat your bread, bluebird.”

Both their spaghettis arrives not long after, and despite it being an accidental order on Stuart’s part, he isn’t disappointed at all in his meal. He and 2D both fall silent for a long while, with only the clink of forks serving as conversation. The pasta is warm and buttery, with a rich, meaty tomato sauce over the top. With that and with the bread as an appetizer, it’s no wonder that once 2D clears his plate, he settles back with a bit of a groan.

“Mm?” Stuart raises his eyebrows, mouth still full of spaghetti.

“Tummy ‘urts a bit,” 2D says, shifting in his seat. “Fink I ate too fast...or too much. Or both.” He suppresses a small burp.

Stuart sympathetically pats his husband’s hand. “Wanna go home?” he asks once he’s swallowed his spaghetti. “I know we planned an evenin’ walk in the park after dinner, but if your stomach hurts, then we can just go right home. Watch a film or somethin’, maybe?”

“It’s so lovely out, though.” 2D bites his lip. “I– I wanted to stargaze for a bit. Snog on a park bench, look up at the sky...” His stomach interrupts with a loud gurgle, and he goes red with embarrassment. “Don’t. Laugh.”

Stuart puts his hand over his own mouth, but his eyes sparkle with laughter nonetheless. “Aw, bluebird...”

“I-it ain’t funny!”

“It’s a bit funny.”

“You’re bein’ mean, Stu. Mean an’ cruel an’ rude.”

Getting a hold of himself, Stuart lays a hand on 2D’s crossed arms. “I’m sorry, my love. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Belly rubs when we get home?”

2D pretends to mull it over, but his decision had been made the second the words left his husband’s mouth. “...Yeh, alright.”

As a further apology, Stuart pays for their dinner. He calls another cab for them, and 2D nearly dozes off on the short ride home, his head leaning heavily on Stuart’s shoulder.

The house is quiet and empty, a rarity these days. Stuart flips the lights on as 2D shrugs his jacket off and makes a beeline for the sofa. He undoes the top button of his trousers and sighs with relief. “These fings’re too restrictitive,” he mutters as Stuart joins him, turning the TV on to a random movie channel. “Now I get why I don’t wear ‘em much...”

“We don’t have much occasion to dress up much, anyway,” Stuart says, gently guiding 2D to lie down with his head in Stuart’s lap. “Though I gotta say, you look damn handsome all dolled up.”

2D wriggles, getting comfortable. “You’re always ‘andsome.”

“So are you, you big flatterer.” He leans down to kiss his forehead, and starts rubbing gentle circles on his belly. “Feel better?”

“Mm-hm...” 2D hums happily. He’s silent for a bit, warm and content. Stuart’s hands feel like heaven on his aching stomach, rubbing his pain away and nearly lulling him to sleep. 

After a few long, blissful minutes, Stuart moves the massage upwards, working the knots out of 2D’s shoulders. A deep groan drifts from his husband’s mouth. “Blimey, Stu,” he sighs, opening one dark eye to peer up lovingly at him, “wot’d I ever do to deserve ya?”

He’s silent for a moment. “You smiled at me,” Stuart finally starts, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “You smiled at me, and you sang under your breath, and you laughed at your own jokes, and you made me fall in love with you. You changed my mind about wantin’ to start a family, and you gave birth to the most beautiful little baby I’ve ever seen. Our baby. Our Parker.”

2D’s eyes are welling up a bit, but Stuart keeps going. “You kiss me goodnight and good mornin’ every day. You sing in the shower. You walk around naked when your laundry’s in the wash because you don’t want to get even more of your clothes dirty in the meantime. You fall asleep while watchin’ your favourite films and then get sad that you missed the best parts. You leave scribbled song lyrics all over the house. You always tell me about cute dogs you’ve seen– even if you only remember to tell me when we’re in the middle of havin’ sex.”

“Tha’ was one time!”

“You dirty talk like a damn professional,” Stuart continues. “You make such pretty noises when– well, I don’t want to push the whole, er, no nut thing. But damn, you’re so fuckin’ good in the sack.” 

“Ain’t half bad, yourself,” 2D says, giggling a little. There’s still a tear lingering on his lower lashes, and Stuart brushes it away with impossible tenderness.

“You made me fall in love with you,” he repeats softly, voice growing more serious and yet more adoring. “You said yes when I asked you to be my boyfriend, and you said yes when I asked you to be my husband. Most importantly, though– you’re you, 2D. You’re wonderful. You’re beautiful, kind, talented, funny, sweet, so many other things that it would take all my life to list all the reasons why I love you.”

“Oh, St-Stu...”

“That’s what you did to deserve me, bluebird.” He cups his husband’s face. “You exist. Somehow, impossibly, you’re here. You’re here in my arms, in my life. Everythin’ I do for you...it’s to show my thanks for you. My love for you. And 2D, you deserve all of it and more.”

2D’s face is a mess of happy tears. “St-Stu,” he says again, sitting up and perching on his husband’s lap. “You– you shut up, an’ you kiss me. Right fuckin’ now.”

Stuart obeys, drawing him close and brushing a thumb over his love’s trembling lips before meeting them softly with his own. 

He doesn’t stop for a long, long, long time.

[theloeylove]

Oops! 1

Genre: Fluff, Smut (slight) 

Chanyeol x Reader

Word Count: 2,465

Summary: “Move on” they said. “It’ll be fun” they said. But what if NOT really moving on is actually much more and way even beyond to the bestest than what “they said”?

Part One || Part Two

December 2015

Stepping in a lavish doors of a fraternity house, wide grin scattered all over your features. Loud electronic music blasting out through the speakers nearly deafening you. Your best friends, Junmyeon, Jongdae, Jongin and Yixing have arranged a Christmas party for the year end just before all your peers could part ways for the holidays. Anticipations of nothing but living this night as if your last, swigging every bottle or cup of you don’t even need to know what as long it’s not a poison or pee, dancing your drunken body throughout the night — maybe getting laid too — sent shrills of excitement through your veins.

“Yixing!” You waved your hand out enthusiastically the moment you find him standing with couple of guys around him. His eyes formed into pretty crescents when he spotted you, waving back as he hollered your name. You walked up to him for warm embrace since you barely meet to hang out due to hectic schedules and just an utter pain-in-the-ass of a semester.

“Hi” you noticed the guys that once around Yixing now had their gazes on you. One with a silver-bluish hair that’s unruly but look absolutely gorgeous on him greeted you. His tall and lean frame towering over, standing out from everyone else.

“Oh by the way, this is Chanyeol. He’s one of the the frat boys here.” Yixing piped up introducing you to the tall one, telling them your name. He also introduced the other guys who were new to you, mentioning Minseok, Sehun and another three whose names seemed to have went passed through from your left to your right ear because you had all your primary senses solely focused on the first guy.

The smile masking his handsome face, pair of brown captivating eyes glinting in something inexplicable yet makes your pulse palpitate. Never in your life you met someone take an impact on you like this. You’ve seen many guys — sure it can be counted by a single hand alone — but no other had rendered you gawking just by watching his figure from head to toe.

“Nice to meet you.” He stretched out his hand to you for a hand shake. The corner of his lips turning upward more sweetly and gentle when you gladly took it.

From this day on you knew things will forever swerve your life from a dull boring course to a more exhilarating one. The grin that got stuck across your lips remained still from the thought. Enticement boosting up at its pinnacle.

New Year’s eve

Right after your individual separation for vacation, your best friends plus the recently new ones that Yixing had introduced you —and basically became your friends too— informed you for another party, again, welcoming the New Year. 🥂 holidays, particularly ending it with people who made your year meaningful should be forever held as long as you live. Junmyeon’s words, not yours.

Few weeks had passed since the Christmas party but the thought of Chanyeol hasn’t yet left your mind peacefully. You and him had shared a long intimate conversation the night you met. Adequately long to let you know he was single and had not been in a relationship for months, to let you know his passion for music is way beyond you could’ve ever imagine, to let yourself confirm that indeed the jokes he told you were apparently from Junmyeon that despite your normal self wouldn’t laugh at how terrible and lame it were, you still genuinely did. You weren’t sure if it was because you had a horrible standards for humor as well or the fact that it was coming from a guy you already had plotted out your future with. Predominantly long enough to let you know that this guy, is the one you wanted to be right by your side at both your bests and worsts.

“Three, two, one!”

Champagne bottle caps blew across the room, liquor pouring bubbling out to the floor. Jongdae, Kyungsoo, Sehun and Jongin each with bottles in their hands have gathered surrounding you and started shaking off opened bottles at you, drenching your whole outfit. You instinctively covered your face with your hands but alas proved it to be futile. You laugh instead hitting lightly whoever’s arms your hand landed to.

Your lids tightly shut preventing any harmful liquid to seep inside your eyes. Rubbing it off you called out, “You all got me this time.” They responded nothing but laugh and so did you. “Jerks.”

“We love you too!” Sehun quipped. You only rolled your eyes but found yourself smiling.

“I’m so sorry,” Jongdae came to engulf his arms around you after winding down from his mirth, “Happy New Year.” He warmly added neglecting your fully soaked body, pulling more for a tight embrace.

Others joined you for a group hug, Jongin pecked a kiss on your forehead, “Happy new year.” he greets.

“But where are Minseok and others?” You asked worryingly when you realized they were no where in sight.

The guys you were looking for then finally made an appearance, approaching you from Jongin’s behind.

“Happy New Year!” They all cheered in unison, delightedness evident in each of their handsome facades, atmosphere beaming with nothing but positivity.

“You’re late again.”  Chanyeol’s voice made you shift your attention to him. His hair that was once silver-blue now had gone to natural pitch black, styled to pushed back up against atop of his forehead.

Grinning sheepishly you apologized, “Yeah, well I–“

Your attempt on explaining the excuse why you were late again was suddenly interrupted by a soft lips pressing onto yours. Too astounded by the action, your eyes kept open too wide you thought it would dry out. Chanyeol’s mouth didn’t insinuate to move for few seconds before releasing your lips.

“You always make invalid excuses.”

Within your peripheral vision, you’re keen to know everyone’s eyes were on you. No doubt considering the scene that the hot giant in front of you had created had caused them to. Of course you liked it, loved it even, however, it did bring heat up to your cheeks flaring hot red. Blushing wasn’t one of your forte, heck you weren’t even aware you have the capability to til now.

Damn this boy just can make you feel things that even yourself was new to.

“Oohh she’s red as a tomato!” Baekhyun teased earning a glare from you.

“She really is!” Junmyeon added.

“Chanyeol, look what have you done.” Kyungsoo chuckled.

Chanyeol’s eyes remained glued to yours piercing holes through your soul. You wanted to look away but too enthralled by his gaze you stood still. Knots inside your stomach churning as you strained the mixed emotions building up your system. Love, hate, humiliation, bliss, your mind could not even dissect.

“How about a steamy pleasurable night first thing of 2016?” A smirked had made its way across Chanyeol’s face ignoring some’s shocked reaction and the other some’s surprised but instantly followed by chortling it out, whooping clearly enjoying your unknown misery. Junmyeon and Minseok scolding him from too much vulgarity. You flushed even more unable to form any sentence, eyes bulged daring to pop out from its sockets, heart wouldn’t stop banging against your ribs.

You swear to good heavens this boy is just something.

As time passed by, you eventually ended up dating Chanyeol. Even at the early stages of your relationship, ample events had already happened. You had countless of sweet moments, watching movies chilling at either of your apartments, going out for romantic cheesy dates. One example, taking you out to a fine-dine-in restaurant for your first monthsary. Moving in to his apartment then before your third month. The next few months as a couple, he had severally went away with you for a road trip, driving out through cities, woods, beaches and country sides. The trips were fun, just the two of you, alone in his car. traveling almost to everywhere his vehicle could reach. Trying out various new things that albeit were way beyond your comfort zone yet venturous and would spice up the relationship so you let it happen. Hiking up hills, camping with tents on the camping sites you’ve been, kayaking across the streams, and, needless to say; having sex in public. Out in the lake when you skinny dipped one night, inside the car when he dared you at an empty parking lot.

The far most gutsy one you’ve ever did was when it was three in the morning and he woke you up because he couldn’t sleep and that he needed something. It was on your summer vacation when you were out for a trip at the beach where Junmyeon’s family owns a beach house. Of course you had no problem having an intimate intercourse with the no other guy you love, sure you can forgive the disturbance of your sweet slumber state too… the only thing is, the house had solely four bedrooms. One of it served as Junmyeon’s family’s storage room that left you all no choice but to respect it and have one room to be slept by four people.

That night you promised the rest of the guys that you and Chanyeol wouldn’t be like “a thirsty horny couple” — words by Minseok. Legislating the only rule that resulted your boyfriend to yearn over you. Longing as if he hadn’t have a piece of you just the morning before you arrived there.

Summer 2016

“Come on we have to do it I’m dying.” Chanyeol whined to a silent whisper beside you, pleading like his life depends on it.

You shushed him darting a serious glare, “Be quiet and go to sleep!” You hissed trying to silent his whining by clamping a hand against his mouth. Your eyes cautiously looking out across the room to the two beds that were just a mere meter away from yours. “Sehun and Baekhyun might wake up if you won’t shut the fuck up!”

His eyes illuminated by a lucent moonlight, you saw the begging were gradually dissipating. Him giving up at last you released his mouth. “There you go, good boy. Tomorrow if we ever had the chance to be alone, I’ll make it up to you, okay?” You whispered kissing his lips. He nods heaving out a sigh of disappointment. “Let’s just sleep for now, hmm?”

You turned your back on him, eyes fell to shut silently thanking God for calming Chanyeol down. Sleep about to swallow your consciousness when a hand slowly snaked its way up to your waist. At first you thought he was going to pull you for a cuddle but realization had hit you late when his hand sped its way down the insides of your underwear. The abrupt exploit made your whole body jolt, your yelp was cut off by his free hand now clasping your mouth. Muffling your wayward moans as he continuously rubbed circle motions on your sensitive area.

“Shh you might wake Sehun and Baekhyun up.” His deep burly voice resonated through your ears, goosebumps suddenly erupted from your skin. Your body quivering against him.

You could only pray to whoever almighty was up there that the two other guys would be in the very depth of their sleep.

Oh and the one of softies moments you had with him that even if how hard you hit you head and give you amnesia, you’ll never ever going to forget it.

Fall 2016

“Happy Birthday!”

The cheering of the guys caught you off guard. You just came home from an exhausting five pm lecture class, the energy that had drained out of your body were elated back up as your friends greeted you with warm blissful grins.

Baekhyun held a cake on his hands, stretched out to you as you approached closely. Sehun, Kyungsoo and Jongin holding up pastel colored balloons, Jongdae and Junmyeon had couple of wrapped boxes with ribbons on them encased by their arms — you spotted a few more by the coffee table behind them. Minseok placed a triangular party hat on you and lastly Yixing lighting up the candles on the cake. Faces all focused on you with beams of sweet gentle smiles. You managed to pull your lips for a smile refraining a cry on how lucky you thought you were having these set of amazing friends.

You swiveled your heel when the door behind you clicked open, “Sorry I’m late.” Chanyeol said, grinning as bright as the morning light. He entered with a fluffy copper red fur baby in his embrace. You gasped in awe as he walked to you handing you the cute Siberian Husky puppy.

“There goes the tears.” Jongin commented causing Minseok to nudged him.

“I had to pick him up from Yoora since it’s from her friend’s pet-shop.” Chanyeol explained when you make no sign of reacting yet. “Happy birthday,” he greeted sweetly.

You could no longer restrain the tear that had rolled down your cheek from too much joy you’re feeling right now. You wiped it off immediately, “Oh my god you guys, seriously” you couldn’t even word out the emotions flooding down your system.

They only responded by softening their eyes and smiles on you except, “I know we’re too sweet and you’re happy because of it but my arms are starting to get tired. I’m sure you wouldn’t want this delicious chocolate cake all over your and Chanyeol’s carpet.” Baekhyun breaking the mood, you choked out a laugh blowing out the candles. Kyungsoo and Minseok hitting his head in unison, unlucky for him being at both on his sides. You just giggled, smiling at them.

“I know—actually all of us know how much you’ve been dying to have a Siberian Husky specially this color so I got you one.” Chanyeol added petting the puppy’s head.

“So what should we call me him?” Kyungsoo softly asked and you look at the puppy in your arms, knowing exactly what you’re going to name him.

“Loey.”

It was going all so well for the whole year of you dating. 2016 was your year, the one and only year you could ever call the best out of the best. It was like all the things your heart ever desired had been thankfully bestowed upon you the moment you met Park Chanyeol. The moment your best friend Yixing had introduced you, incessantly mentally thanking him for doing so. Thanking every Gods and heavens there might be above for blessing you such of an angel giving your life a whole break from pain and cruel events you have dealt with since you were born.

Unfortunately tho… nothing in the reality world lasts forever…

Or maybe except death..? Because pretty much everything else don’t, right?

A/N: Hi!!! This is my first ever fanfic, post on tumblr EVER. lol pls send me feedbacks either message me or tweet me or something bc as a beginner into both publishing what i write and in using tumblr effectively. Even if it’s a negative feedback I would be very much glad to read those. I really need to hear from you. 

Should i continue this series or…?

[joemuggs]

Oggy Oggy Oggy - my Glastonbury story

In 2013, I went to Glastonbury for the first time in, I think, 14 years. I was invited down by my friends who run the Beat Hotel cafe-bar-dance-tent as I'd done some work for them. I got down Wednesday, reeled at the scale and organisation of the place compared to my scrambled nineties memories, had a riot hanging out with the old convoy survivors over in the Shangri La field, then Richie from the Beat Hotel crew and I were set up to do a two-hour Thursday afternoon DJ slot.

It was a good slot to have – the Hotel was one of the very few places on the whole site with music playing on Thursday – and for once in my shambolic DJing life, I stepped up to the mark. Richie and I play a style we like to call “Slugrave”: slow and steady chuggers, built to get people going gradually, and this time round we really had the confidence to let it work, draw people in one at a time and then get them in the palm of our hands. This set I did much later contains a lot of the tracks I played that day:

The bar staff kept the cocktails coming, we were DJing in Beat Hotel bath robes and slippers on the hotel-room styled stage, and I danced like an idiot – or at least like a fat Bez – the whole set long. Within about 20 minutes we knew the 1,000-plus strong crowd was all ours, and from there on in we could take sharp left turns, take long and strange excursions, and ended up with people absolutely bellowing for “one more tune”... which ended up being the Greg Wilson re-edit of “Psycho Killer”.

When we came off, we got high fives, handshakes or hugs off every single person we passed as we left through the crowd. It's the sort of thing some DJs get every weekend, but I've never experienced the likes before or since, so I was properly on a high, and right in the mood to get stuck into everything the festival had to offer. It's a really, really good job I didn't, as just as we were working out where to go next, I got a call from my brother to say my dad was in hospital after a stroke.

Obviously I wasn't going to stick around at a festival in those circumstances so in drunk, shocked autopilot mode I gathered my stuff, and headed back towards Castle Cary station, hoping to get a train back to London. There was no way I was going to get direct to Norfolk, where my dad, mum and brother all live, in one go, so I let homing instinct take over.

It took a while to get to Castle Carey, including a lot of painful lurking around coach stops, and eventually a lift with the two most comically lovely yokel coppers, one of whom had an ill dad too. When I got there, about 9.15pm, two separate staff told me that no, there weren't actually any more London trains and that my only options if I wanted to get back were a £75 cab to Bath, or get on the train to Plymouth, then on the sleeper train back from there.

OK, I thought, well I'm here now, and at least if I get the sleeper, well, I'll get some sleep and be a bit more compos mentis in the morning than if I got home in the middle of the night. I was at this point surviving entirely on neat Laphroaig I'd decanted into an Evian bottle and was having little nips of to stave off going into shock.

I got to Plymouth a couple of hours later, and there were no trains and the station appeared to be about to be shut down. The train I had just been on looked like it was being cleaned, so I thought, oh maybe that is the one that'll go back to London. I asked one of the guards, and when he said “no, that's it, no more trains 'til 6am” and told me I should've changed at Exeter to get the sleeper, I'm afraid that being really pretty drunk and at the end of my tether, I let loose at some length about the “fucking cunts” at Castle Cary.

He looked at me intently. “What did you say?” I repeated it exactly – then calmed down a little and explained my situation and just why I was upset. “Well, that's not right, is it?” he said. “You go and sit down there.” Three minutes later, he and two other young guys came over. At this stage, I was pretty much drained and without a clue what would happen; however the guard said “well someone made a real mistake there, so what we'll do is put you in a taxi.” “Where to?” “Well, what's your postcode?” “At home?” “At home.” “......”

So then a proper tousle haired wurzel of a driver called Oggy – I mean, of COURSE he was called Oggy, right? – rocked up in his black cab, signed off the paperwork, during which time one of the younger lads ran off then came back with two doughnuts for me, going “bet you haven't eaten for ages eh mate?” Still completely reeling, I got in the cab, as Oggy went “yeah you don't mind if I put my foot down do you? I likes to go fast. Oh, hang on, though, I've got to go by my place to get my credit cards.”

So he parked up in a pretty Plymouth street, then went “doughnuts won't really do for dinner will it though? Here, let me make you a sandwich – what do you like?” “Uhh...” I stammered, “I, uh, I like cheese and pickle?” Ten minutes later he was back out. “You're in luck, my wife's been baking, it's fresh bread. I got you cheese and pickle, and we got some nice ham, so there's ham sandwich too. And a banana. And a beer... for your nerves, I bet you need it, right?”

I ate my feast more than half convinced I was dreaming – god, it tasted good – then passed out on the back seat, and found myself at home at 5.30am Friday morning, fumbling for a key and watching Oggy disappear into the drizzle. By that evening, I was by my dad's bedside – more or less rested, more or less sober, but still not quite sure what I'd dreamed and what I hadn't. It was terrifying, and touch and go for some time, but my dad has improved in microscopic steps over two years: the latest being that he can now bomb around country lanes in a mobility scooter. And I am left with some of the most intense memories of my life, still dream-like, yet made razor sharp by the stark reminders I had that week of how shit and how great life can be at the very same time.

[tiliamericana]

Muay Thai 1.02

Read from start | Read Ahead | Home Site

The florist down the street was a peaceful place, even if walking in the front door was a little like being punched in the nose. They had a scent pump hidden in a hanging pot by the front door—Nairi wasn’t entirely certain why they needed to spray heavy fragrance oils inside a place filled with flowers, but she’d never managed a flower shop herself. Maybe they were trying to hook pedestrians.

The college kid manning the counter waved in recognition, already turning to fetch her order from the shelf. “Back again?” he said cheerfully as she approached, setting her wrapped cuttings on the counter. “I shouldn’t really discourage repeat patronage, but you know these suckers are pretty easy to grow yourself, right?”

Nairi shrugged, handing her card over as he rung up her order. “I’m pretty bad at keeping plants alive.”

He gave her a rueful grin as he handed her the chip reader to finish the transaction. “I get that—I used to kill cactuses before I started working here. The nurseries we order from have some pretty fierce gardeners on staff though, got me sorted very quickly.”

“Mhm.”

He nodded and kept talking despite her disinterest. The Thursday morning flower rush clearly didn’t provide enough opportunities for socialization. “Yeah, they’re all local places who go all in on small seasonal batches and heritage seeds. The bigger commercial suppliers don’t really have the same kind of knowledge base, it’s very cool.”

Nairi gave him a polite smile as she pocketed her card and picked up the greenery. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Have a great day!” he called out as she left through the flowers. She sneezed when she stepped into the fresh air outside and rubbed at her nose. Hopefully orchids would go out of fashion soon; she was rapidly coming to hate the smell.

It was a nice day, and she lingered for a moment before heading back inside the dojo. Sun streamed across the front room and she hesitated before leaving the door unlocked. She was close to her opening time anyway and if someone came in early the bell would ring. She tucked her wallet and keys into the desk drawer with the lock and crossed to the back room, leaving that door open behind her.

The second room had a viewing gallery rather than floor markings, and it was raised off the ground as a little balconette. It ran the length of the back wall with a built-in bench and was accessible by a stained wood step ladder; a very pretty feature, the real estate agent had said. Nairi had set her shrine at the far end of the balcony, on a little nook inset to the wall. It had had dividing shelves installed, probably for bags or shoes, but she’d pulled them out to make room.

She’d cleaned her vase that morning to replace the plants, filling it with clean water before she left. The kid at the florist’s hadn’t really reacted when she’d placed her weekly order for just green plants rather than anything with flowers, but she supposed she didn’t actually know what was considered ‘odd’ to buy from a florist.  

Everything else was set up, so she lit the incense and knelt.

A few minutes later the bell rang. Nairi stared at the shrine in front of her for a few moments, then blinked and climbed to her feet. Halfway down the ladder someone called out her name, and her confusion only rose as she stepped onto the mats and crossed back to the front room.

The hooker from the night before, Cherry, was standing in the doorway. She was still half outside, door propped open with her hip, one hand behind her in the sunlight with a lit cigarette smoldering in her fingers. Her other hand was a bit closer to her body, probably to balance the cardboard tray with two coffee cups in it. Her expression brightened when she made eye contact with Nairi, and she smiled. “Oh, there you are! Wasn’t sure I had the right place.”

Nairi stared at her blankly. In the daylight Cherry looked like almost an entirely different person—slinky dress and soft make up gone, traded for faded and worn cutoffs and tank top with half laced docs. Her bare arms had tattoos of fire circling her wrists, tongues of flame licking up to her elbows and her clean face was rounder and freckled.

“Why are you here?” said Nairi blankly, staring at her.

Cherry grinned, juggling the cups between her elbow and shoulder very carefully. “You saved my ass and bought me dinner. I’ve been on dates that aren’t that nice, babe, I wanted to say thanks.”

She dropped the cigarette on the concrete and crushed it under the toe of her boot before stepping inside properly. The bell jingled again as the door swung shut behind her, and she blinked to adjust to the light inside before taking the few steps to close the distance between her and Nairi.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” she said, tugging one of the cups out of the tray and offering it to Nairi, “so I just picked the most inoffensive thing I could think of.”

Nairi took the cup after a moment and had a quick sip. Foamy, bitter coffee filled her mouth and she tried not to grimace as she swallowed. “Thanks.”

The corner of Cherry’s mouth twitched. “Not a latte kind of girl?”

Nairi winced. “I don’t drink coffee,” she admitted, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Sorry, it was really nice of you.”

“Can’t win ‘em all,” said Cherry, still smiling at her as she plucked the cup out of Nairi’s hand. “Do you like mochas, or teas or something?”

“Uh, I mean, tea usually, I don’t—caffeine gives me headaches—”

“Do you have some time before you open this place up?” asked Cherry, gesturing around the dojo.

“I guess, yeah, I scheduled for twelve, but no one shows up for—”

“Great!” said Cherry brightly. “C’mon, I don’t know how fancy Starbucks gets, but there’s this little posh place on the corner that looks like they’ll sneer at you for using teabags, lemme get you a pot?”

Nairi glanced at the clock over her door. There were fifteen minutes til she was scheduled to open, but, well, no one had booked or called about the noon session. “Okay,” she said after a moment.

Cherry grinned, raising the second coffee to her lips and sculling it in long gulps as Nairi slipped her shoes on. She dropped the coffee cups in Nairi’s wastepaper basket and reached out, grabbing Nairi by the wrist to tug her onto the street outside. Nairi took a second to lock up with the chain while Cherry tapped a toe impatiently, and when she turned back Cherry was watching her curiously.

“You have a problem with break ins?” she asked as Nairi stepped back next to her.

“No,” said Nairi, glancing at her. “Why do you ask?”

Cherry shrugged, hooking her hands into the back pockets of her shorts as they walked. “Heavy duty locks for this part of town, s’all. Though, I’ve lived in some pretty interesting places, and then college towns like, totally fuck with your perception of that stuff, so I’m probably not the best judge of what’s like, a ‘good area’ or whatever.”

Nairi hummed noncommittedly, keeping her gaze ahead of her. She could feel Cherry’s eyes on the side of her face and tried not to think too hard about what it was she was seeing.

The café Cherry took her to was on the other end of the street to Nairi’s building, and it was small and picturesque. It had low armchairs and beanbags dotted around the open air front space, and as it transitioned into the café proper the walls were lined with tall shelves sporting thick, coffee-table books and lush, overflowing ferns. Low chatter and the steaming of coffee machines filled the sparsely occupied room.

Cherry went straight for the counter, tugging Nairi along with her. “Hey there!” she said in a friendly tone, flashing a bright smile at the bearded young man behind the counter. “Do you guys have any like, fun teas?”

He nodded, leaning over the counter to point at the chalkboard wall with the marker he’d been turning over in his hands. “Sure do. We’ve got all of these guys, plus, you know, like English Breakfast and stuff. The Sinnamon’s new, and Rose and Shine is very popular with soda and ice as a morning mocktail.”

The other teas on the menu were called things like ‘Rooid Boi’, ‘Lemon Aid’, ‘Raspberry Remnant’, and ‘Tea Thyme’ with the ingredients listed in a nigh incomprehensible chalked cursive. Nairi stared at them blankly.

Cherry squinted at them, mouth open slightly. “….Did you just forget to write the raspberry in on that one?” she asked, pointing at ‘Raspberry Remnant’.

“It used to have raspberry leaves in the blend, but we had some issues. We liked the name, so we kept it,” he said, shrugging.

Nairi ignored the wall and turned to address the guy instead. “Do you have anything with oolong?” she tried.

He nodded, pointing at a couple of the marked teas again. “Yeah, the Roasty Posie is oolong with mixed floral overtones, and Save the Teas uses an oolong base as well. If you’re looking for a gentler caffeine experience, then Rose and Shine uses white tea.” He grinned, leaning on the counter with his elbows. “Also, we do a uh, ‘house special’ with the Serenity Chill where we add booster shots of oolong and white tea—we call it ‘Aunt Mableton’s Icicle Situation’ after our manager’s cat.”

“Good to know,” said Nairi after a moment. “I’ll have a pot of Save the Teas, I guess?”

“Sure,” he said, leaning back and pulling the cap off the marker to write it down directly on the polished steel countertop. “Can I grab anything else for you ladies?”

“Can I grab an iced mocha,” said Cherry, turning her head and pointing at the glass case. “And like… one each of the fruit muffins?”

He nodded, adding them down as Nairi tugged out her wallet to pay. Cherry smacked her hand away and handed the guy some cash in exchange for the little table number, giving Nairi a wry grin. She stuffed the change into the tip jar and tugged Nairi over to a tall table by a bookshelf.

“You didn’t have to,” said Nairi as she shifted to take a stool on the far side so that the wall was behind her.

Cherry shrugged, dropping her wallet and phone on the tabletop before sitting across from her, kicking her booted feet back up onto the stool’s brace bar. “It’d be a pretty shitty way to pay you back for dinner, making you put out for brunch as well,” she said, poking her tongue out at Nairi.

Nairi wasn’t sure what to say to that and she fiddled with a loose thread in her cuff for several long moments. Eventually it got too awkward for her to bear, and she shifted. “Makes sense.”

“Aren’t you hot in that?” asked Cherry, crossing her arms on the table in front of her. Weirdly enough the only jewellery she was wearing was a small gold cross on a chain, no rings or bracelets. If Nairi had taken a second to think about how Cherry would dress off the job, this wouldn’t have been it.

She shrugged instead of answering the question.

“No, seriously,” said Cherry, her grin twitching a little at the corners. “I know it’s still a bit windy after midnight, but it’s still July, it’s like a hundred degrees out right now! How are you in long sleeves?”

“I just prefer it,” said Nairi, shrugging again. She felt an itch in the middle of her back, right between her shoulders, the way she did when someone was staring at her. There was only wall there. She resisted the urge to turn around and check anyway. “It’s light, you know, whatever.”

Cherry looked like she was going to push a little harder, but thankfully their food arrived and cut her off. Did it still count as brunch when it was nearly noon already? Either way, Cherry was thoroughly distracted, smiling sunnily at the cheerful girl with dreads and facial piercings who set their order across the table. Nairi had been given two glasses; both thick and squat, one filled with ice in deference to the weather.

Cherry sliced open one of the muffins, blueberry, and picked up the butter dish, waggling her eyebrows at Nairi over the mason jar that contained her iced mocha. “This place is a little… more than I was expecting.”

“It’s very… lush,” said Nairi, flicking her eyes to one side to give a hanging fern a deliberate look.

Cherry stifled an ugly snort, her head ducking as she pushed the muffins towards Nairi. “At least it’s interesting,” she said, hooking a hand around her jar of coffee. “Come on, tell me how the hippie tea is.”

Nairi poured a small cup of it out and took a careful sip, raising an eyebrow. “Organic,” she said. It actually wasn’t bad; a little woody and over steeped, but she was used to that at least.

Cherry took a long sip through her straw, eyebrow arched in return as she looked at Nairi through her eyelashes, then grimaced, leaning back. “Oh, that’s soy milk and straight cacao, I think this might be a vegan place.”

“Good to know,” said Nairi, smiling a little without thinking about it as Cherry picked up her half of the blueberry muffin.

“Are you vegan?” asked Cherry, tearing the muffin into chunks. “Or do you just like veggies for tempura?”

“Just vegetarian,” said Nairi, drinking more tea. “Don’t like meat. Milk and stuff is fine.”

“Don’t like violence against animals but you’re perfectly happy doling out a little of your own in the dark of the night?” teased Cherry, washing down her bites with more mocha.

“I have the black belts, I may as well put them to good use,” said Nairi with another awkward shrug, wishing she could get comfortable.

“’Belts’, huh? You know other stuff, not just Judo?”

Nairi hummed. “Krav Maga and Muay Thai as well. Belts or rankings and colours aren’t universal in different arts, but more people know what they generally mean, so, you know. My Muay school used armbands.”

Cherry nodded, one of her legs kicking the air under her stool. “Yeah? Do you teach those too or just Judo?”

“All three. I only have real students for Judo, though.”

“What makes someone a real student?”

“Showing up?”

Cherry snorted again, her hand flying to her mouth but not quite managing to hide her grin. “You don’t pull your punches anywhere, do you?”

Nairi shrugged again, not really sure how to take that.

Cherry seemed to find it an acceptable response anyway, openly watching Nairi with a fascinated expression. “Can I ask you something weird?”

“Sure,” said Nairi. It wasn’t like she could get more uncomfortable.

“So, like, ‘Nairi’ isn’t a super common name, and you seem proficient and reasonably scary,” said Cherry, peeling the paper away from another muffin as she watched Nairi indirectly. “And like, I keep my ears to the ground you know—or, well, fuck, okay, I occasionally end up in bed or working with people who have, uh, other hobbies cops might be interested in—”

Nairi wasn’t a hundred percent certain where she was going with this, but she tensed regardless, her expression relaxing into cool neutral.

If Cherry noticed, it didn’t stop her. “—Anyway, you wouldn’t happen to be the same Nairi who scared off the guys making meth a couple of blocks from here, would you?”

…Well, that wasn’t good, but it was leagues away from the worst thing she could have said. “I think I had a conversation with them,” she said politely, eyes flicking down to watch Cherry’s hands on the tabletop. She took a moment to consider and then added: “Sorry if that’s made one of your… ‘hobbies’ more difficult for you.”

Cherry snorted again and shook her head, looking distinctly unbothered. “Nah, not for me. I have a hard enough time making rent without that shit.”

She was still smiling.

Cherry swallowed her muffin and took a more gratuitous sip of her mocha, shifting how she was leaning on the table and looking up at Nairi properly again. “So you’re like, new in town right? Don’t know a lot of people yet?”

“What gave me away?” said Nairi, blinking at her.

“Just a feeling,” said Cherry, her cheeks dimpling as she polished off her drink. She climbed to her feet, tucking her wallet away, but flipping open her phone. “Do you wanna do this again some time? Like, I mean, tomorrow even if you want. I can come by earlier so we don’t run up against your opening, or we could grab food after you close for the day?”

“I—sure?” said Nairi, her mouth answering for her while she tried to process the abrupt change of gears. “I mean, what?”

“Catching up, getting to know each other, being friendly?” said Cherry brightly, shifting a little closer to Nairi. “You’ve got your dojo to open today and I need to clock some time at my day job, but I’d love to get to know you better, show you round town, introduce to some friends, even?”

Nairi only just managed to swallow the ‘Why?’ that was about to trip off her tongue. “Okay,” she said slowly. “I’d uh, yeah I’d like that?”

“Great!” said Cherry, holding out her phone with the screen open to a ‘new contact’ entry. “What’s your number?”