#I wrote this when catgirl-brain's translation was the only one available

[skinnamon39]

Recall

“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”

The sentence (and its originator’s long Western name) had been present in one of the first chapters of their psychology textbook. They had read it, agreed with it, and moved on. Now, Es could only wonder why they hadn’t really noticed it before.

They didn’t have to wonder. All they needed to know was that they were Es, Milgram’s warden. All they needed to focus on was their work. There was no need to think of anything else. But more than all of that, they already knew why.

“Let’s try to learn about you!”

Hadn’t Muu said something similar? They couldn’t remember. Did it bother them, not knowing anything about themself? They didn’t even know that for sure anymore, and that did bother them. A little. Maybe.

Ah, they didn’t like this.

They opened their eyes to the near total darkness of their room. (Or, office? Eh, it was kind of both.) Sleep stubbornly refused to come. Guided only by the faint light out in the corridor, Es swung their legs onto the floor, stood up, and made their way to the dining hall.

Things seemed so much simpler in the beginning.

They didn’t go into the dining hall much, usually opting to eat in their office-room-thing. They went into the kitchen even less - Jackalope did the cooking, after all. But tonight, here they were in the pantry, rummaging through boxes of tea.

They had tried, perhaps just to satisfy the itch, to look up the possible benefits of different teas, but it seemed to be a topic too obscure or niche even for their extensive personal library. They had said they didn’t care, so it shouldn’t have bothered them too much. In any case, their hand picked out the box of green tea and a beige-colored mug from a cabinet.

...Wait, how do you boil water again? You just apply heat to it, right? Hopefully this was the right kind of pot… Hopefully they weren’t making too much noise…

They realized a little late that they should have used a kettle instead of a pot. Oh well, a kettle would have made that whining noise. But how would they pour the water into a mug…?

Gripping the mug’s handle with their fingertips, Es lowered it into the pot of water and then moved it to the counter, where they wiped it down with a towel. Who knew that just making some tea would be such a hassle?

After mixing in the tea powder, they took their tea and sat in the dining hall.

They had chosen a seat on the end - picking one in the middle would have been weird, somehow - but that only let them see how long the table was without any people at it. They imagined the prisoners sitting down by their numbers, but in all reality, they probably sat as they liked. Who sat where? With whom? The ten chairs offered no answers.

It occurred to them that even if they wanted to eat their meals here, there was no chair for them.

Es looked back down to their mug of tea. It should have been sufficiently cooled by now. With both hands, they picked it up and took a small sip. Then they took a larger one, trying to wash away the lump in their throat.

They had no good words to describe its actual taste, only that it was mild. Oh, the aftertaste was slightly bitter. Maybe that’s normal for tea.

Improved memory, huh? They took another sip. They weren’t feeling it. Maybe it would have worked for someone else, but not them.

“...like it’s someone else’s…”

What had she said then? What was it about it that made them lose their cool like that? It wasn’t like they could even ask her; she had also forgotten it.

Their eyes glanced up towards the corridor.

“If you don’t walk faster, I’m going to step on you.”

Es chuckled to themself. They had been completely serious in the moment, but now...it seemed funny. Especially since Jackalope had reacted by screaming his tiny head off.

“...Huuuuuh?!”

Now that was funny to begin with. The fact that Yuno really did go and give him such a gloomy report…

Hm. Maybe this tea really did work for memory and things. Or was this just an example of that “placebo effect” they had read about?

“...the pain receptors in my shin simply transmit electrical signals to my spine and brain…”

Ugh, not him. Why’d they have to remember that? Think of something else, think of something else…

“That hurts! What are you doing?!”

Did they feel bad about that? No, they didn’t think so. He had needed it. It had helped them see a different side to him as well. It was creepy, but nice to learn.

That’s right. They liked to learn.

“I want to learn more about myself through them.”

“Es…”

Now that they thought of it, green tea has caffeine in it, doesn’t it? Well, it was too late now.

They walked back into the kitchen. After downing the last of their tea, they rinsed out the mug.

“...How pitiful.”

…!