#I would die for this to become reality
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long ramble in tags tldr: kindness rules
#was it genocide that got them to the human world or was it her kindness and promise at the expense of her past#who was ultimately the reason the goldy pond kids were able to survive and escape#who got stabbed by a demon and was in a coma for four weeks trying to protect her newfound family#ultimately shifting his perspective on humans and hunting in general and becoming a driving force in their efforts for freedom#who became best friends with the literal ''evil blooded girl'' and was able to come up with a sound solution to demons needing human meat#in order to maintain their forms#do you think norman would be happier knowing he had to be the sacrificial lamb killing children with his bare hands and fully executing it#do you think ray would be happier if emma had simply let him die instead of giving him a firm dose of reality and helping him to#live a life full of love and support and kindness#of course she isnt perfect and i most definitely would change a lot of things if i could but this is just one of the many comments i see#when youre blinded by hatred you cant think objectively#i understand that norman went through freakish amounts of hell but to put it in my perspective: if i were a demon#i highly doubt that i would fully understand how intelligent humans truly are#you know those videos of people boiling crabs alive and saying ''it doesnt hurt them''#there would probably be a lot of rhetoric around that nature and all i would know is eat human fingertip = go play tag#so why would my parents deserve to die? what difference is there between cattle like pigs and cows in our world to humans in theirs?#anyways. im sorry for liking stories where kindness prevails and opens doors to opportunities previously thought imaginable#i hate constantly seeing this stuff when looking up tpn and it irks me it really does
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You don't understand how unhinged I feel trying to construct an ending for Bleach that I personally would enjoy while knowing Bleach does not deserve my time and also not remembering enough to actually make anything coherent. And yet here I am.
#god. no one gives a fuck abt bleaching. i am screaming into the void. y cant i put this energy into being productive#i just want there to be themes and a satisfying ending. and ending that is sad and yet happy#i just think. for me. ichigo kurosaki died on the night rukia pierced him with her zanpakto. oh fuck i cant spell. fucking strap in#i kno he didnt technically die according to the rules of the universe but i think as soon as ichigos soul left his body. that body became#a corpse. so when he goes back into it its not suitible to live in anymore and he only starts to feel that with the fullbring arc#i think when rukia jumpstarted his powers she lit the fuse of a bomb and becoming a visor allowed him to chanel his resentment#bc he does resent. ichigo is an emotional person. he felt emense guilt when his mothet died bc he felt he couldnt protect her bc he was#being raised to protect. the boy has a complex and its kinda fuckrd up and its 1000% isshins fault. so when thr opportunity comes for#ichigo to sacrifice himself for his family he does and he literally and metaphorically dies. his life from that point on is overtaken by#death. so what do we do with ichigo after everything is said and done bc he cant go back to being human he cant be a living corpse. he has#to go to the soul society. bc i like to imagine everything hes done to his soul. his twisted cosmically weird special boy soul. hes like a#bomb. its unstable and they need to teach him to control it so he doesnt tear a hole in reality and let thr hollows pour in. so its safer#if that happens in thr soul society. and rukia lil miss ice princess can teach him to do that. i would also make it weird with god stuff but#i never read the blood war stuff so i dont kno enough abt the gods. also i would make rukia more at odds with everyone who was gonna let her#fucking die and who overlooked her bc she should b held with more reguard for her fighting. but misogyny 😒 so then what do we do with#ichigo in thr soul society? i cant stand the idea of him becoming part of the institution. i cant. i think he should be rogue. rebell. idk#train to be strong and battle agaisnt the 13 court guard squad who r clearly going to try to control him as he tries to control himself.#send my boy to therapy so he can control his reatsu? is the the word? idk. maybe he should go to that dead dog district and look for kids#with spiritual pressure. he needs to feel useful. maybe id just give him weird god powers. i am an ichigo special boy apologist#thats as far forward as i can think. ichigo has to b dead. has to learn to control his power before he can go fight. rukia can teach him#he rebells against the institution. encourages rukia to go apeshit bc fuck everyone. and then idk. he keeps trying to save ppl forever#or he dies and destroys the universe. a big ball of resentment and bad feels and secrets upon secrets upon secrets. god y am i thinking#abt this so much. ive got bullshit to deal with. anyway. idk i just like ichigo a lot and i think thr ending to bleach is th worst forever#bleach ramblings
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also i swear to gd i Need to get less weird and anxious about the mere concept of talking to maestro. i have known and played with him for seven years and in that time he has been literally nothing but kind and friendly and helpful and supportive. and yet every single time i have to ask him a question (or if he comes to talk to ME or like sends me an email or something) i swear to gd my heart starts racing like i’m about to get banned from every orchestra ever or something
#it's so weird. idk why i'm so weird about talking to him in particular cause i rarely feel the same about other professors.#ig it probably has to do with the greater level of like. formality? involved in orchestra#like i'll call other professors by their first or last name sometimes (though not usually directly to them...#only rarely like for my jazz prof in freshman year who was like 'just call me jake lol')#but i straight up refuse to refer to maestro as anything but maestro. y'know.#so much of classical music is about tradition and formality/politeness is an element of that...#which is usually nice for me and my social ineptitude but also occasionally is not. for example when i need to ask maestro a question lol#especially one that's not relevant to the rehearsal#i would make a 'going to get a bad grade in orchestra which is both normal to fear and possible to achieve' joke here#but i literally can get a bad grade in orchestra and he's the guy who'd assign it.#(y'know...hypothetically. i would die before i willingly did anything to tank my grade like skip rehearsals/concerts#or purposefully play horribly)#ig my nervousness might also have something to do with the fact that. like. i've known him since i was in high school#and so the thought of like. being a grad student and working on a much closer to equal/professional footing with him#as opposed to just like. student musician in the orchestra.#fucking weird! it's a weird idea to me#which i'm sure i'll get over myself enough to actually proceed if/when that becomes a reality#(though not over myself enough to cease all anxiety entirely lol)#i wanna talk about me#sasha speaks
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Eveline: Ah, I remember when I was young just like you.
Zoe: Me too. It was yesterday.
I like to imagine Zoe didn't know Eveline aged fast at first. Like Mia knew, and Lucas figured it out pretty quick, but Zoe just didn't see Eveline often outside of hallucinations and nobody told her.
One day her family is possessed by a ten year old.
And in like 3 months that ten year old looks old enough to drive a car.
And like... I'm fully convinced if Ethan didn't show up Evie would have keeled over from old age and everything would have been mostly fine.
Or the mold would have lost control and everyone would have died. Since Eveline seems to be the only one keeping the mold in check. Unless it's like a parasite and keeps the Bakers and Mia alive as hosts. Which would probably be more terrifying than just being possessed by a kid cuz now you have like Last of Us Cordyceps type shit.
#asks#horror lady00#actually the idea of the mold becoming a scentient creature post-natural evie death by old age and taking over is kind of neat#but judging by the fact the second evie died the mold in the house crusted over i don't think it would#like i literally think if ethan was a month late he would have stumbled on a house of dried out mold where the most dangerous thing is luca#there's a grave for evie and whatever#i think jack and margurite would still die they were pretty far gone#the only thing keeping zoe and mia from leaving is the fact lucas has his jigsaw ass lookin traps set up everywhere and he's just been#screwing around with mia and zoe like a game of cat and mouse#mia's kind of in and out of reality but it's much more like dissociation than possession and it happens a LOT
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Tumblr hear me out:
What if, instead of another Disney Princess movie, there was a Disney movie about a Disney Prince? Except he doesn't want to be a prince, so he runs away and joins a ragtag group of misfit magic users' classic Disney style? And what if there's a scene where they're all trash-talking the prince and he tries to defend himself and the group's like "What do you know about the prince" and he just sits there like 😐
And their could be art of him hanging out with the Disney Princesses and being so awkward cause he's the only boy.
I want this to be a thing so bad 🥺
Like and repost if u agree ^w^
Or maybe make art of it and reply to this post?
Let's make this a thing, if only as a random idea on tumblr
What would his name be???
#disney#idea#pls Disney 🙏#make this a reality#maybe draw it#people of tumblr#disney princess but prince#stories#original story#storytelling#i would die for it#literally would die for this to become a reality#maybe it could live on tumblr and get its own fanbase#what would happen#what is this#random#what doing chores boredom does to me#i guess
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Omg yes yes yes yes yes
That sounds amazing
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An understated Season 6 AU idea:
But one I've used twice in two different ways, is the idea that Tara's death is ultimately an equivalent exchange (and that idea, and what gets sacrificed with that spell is why I like the idea of having Tara do the spell as a guidance to what she would sacrifice if it was her instead of Willow, because Whedon already told the Willow story and simply redoing what someone else did with minor revisions is plagiarism with extra steps to me, personally).
So if, in the event, Buffy still dies, and Willow discovers the prospect of that equivalent exchange and that she'd face the choice of her soulmate or her best friend in real time, I 100% think given her self-loathing and lack of value in herself on the one hand and the destructive elements of that selfless love that held the seeds of her darker, destructive elements with Oz, Xander, and Tara in three different ways that she would plunge herself into self-sacrifice and create an equally big mess without really bothering to think of how anyone else would deal with it.
Willow 100% has a dark and sadistic streak on the one hand that is never hidden so much as benefting from narrative favoritism ala Whedon. Willow is utterly ruthless and hides that behind her adorableness when she wants to. I also 100% think if she'd had the slightest idea she might have condemned Tara to that fate that she'd take it on herself instead because Buffy living is important, Tara living her own life on her own terms is important, but Willow herself living?
Why she's not that important at all and if the best thing she could do is march to destruction as a kind of savior figure, well that's just the best of all worlds.
So in short, 'Willow gets shot instead of Tara because Willow knew the entire time the actual consequences of her actions and still has the big blowup with Tara because Tara misreads things and fears the consequences of that spell and is proven entirely right just like she was in canon but in a much more unpleasant way for everyone involved.'
And of course since Willow's both a main character and one that essentially would never stay dead, she gets a plot haxx resurrection angle...but not before the price of her death would lead to a great deal of a mess.
#willow rosenberg#tara maclay#season 6#buffy meta#the idea of that resurrection spell as equivalent exchange was essentially canonized by the show and comic in different ways#the reality of it in turn is that this is clear in hindsight#if it had become clear in foresight I don't think even an egotistical power-mad Willow would allow Tara to die#at the most negative and harsh 'bashing' characterization it's the logical extension of a savior complex#at a less harsh but more in line with the show element Willow's selfless love takes a different path to the same outcome#either way she delves too deep into magic and lives are wrecked all the way around for it#either way she wouldn't care a damn until it's too late#either way Tara gets FUBARed by the narrative but in one way she dies and in another she lives but may not be entirely happy she did#and either way Tara would 100% have major issues with the consequences of the spell even if she was for it#and if she suspected that same exchange was there and Willow didn't care and WIllow understandably elected to keep quiet she did#well you wind up with a different version of their Season 6 dynamic and a different path to the same outcome#best part is both the most negative take on Willow's motives and the most positive would go the same direction here#she would die so others lived and it would be the same outcome regardless of why#the kind of story told OTOH would hinge very heavily on good Willow vs Mall Goth Sauron Willow#and the kind of person that walks out of the grave because muh contract IRL would also hinge on that too
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my fatigue was so chronic today omfg why cant i just have a normal fucking body
#i sleep. im tired. i eat. im tired. i live. im tired.#my head hurts aaughhhh#like whats up with my digestion being cursed i thought humans were supposed to SURVIVE ON FOOD......#food and sleep. why do those kill me.#and i die if i dont do them too?? who fucked this up#i fucked up at work but i can make myself happy..i can daydream and smile all day and feel so so good...so none of it matters....#im addicted to daydreaming more than usual lately cuz i can literally force myself to feel joy alllllll day#and that helps with feeling like shit#ive spent most of my life in other realities cuz this one kinda sucks ngl#its a losing gamble cuz anything i daydream then become impossible for me to experience here#so i exchange real moments for immediate happiness#and i cant help it. its how i process things.#but it feels so goooooood....even if the people in the daydreams dont reply......cuz idk how they would....#why do i so often feel sick ):
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It's been rattling around my head recently that Discworld is almost anti-whimsy, and I mean that in a good way.
Whimsy, as I define it, is when something magical is put in just to wow the reader. A magic thing that doesn't really effect the story, but its fantastical. Pots cleaning themselves? Moving paintings? A fantastical creature used as set dressing? A spell that does something cool but we'll never hear about it again? What do they mean? Why are they there? Doesn't matter, we're moving on.
But Discworld always applies Logic to these things.
e.g. The old idea of all dwarfs having beards? Ha ha, even the women have beards. How silly.
But that means all dwarfs are men. But there are female dwarfs, right? Are they happy being men? What if you gave one the chance not to be a man? Oh, sure, they'd still have the beard, the helmet, the axe, those are cultural, but what if a dwarf wanted to be a woman? How would other dwarfs react? Would there be biting insults? Snide remarks? Jealousy from other female dwarfs trapped in their society? What if the Low King were a woman? What then?
Pratchett always had this tenacity to follow a whimsical idea until it was ground down in its own grim reality. It's like those old conversations about what would really happen if Superman caught you falling from a high building. You'd smash on his arms because you're still hitting something indestructible at terminal velocity. But the comics would never show that.
Pratchett shows that.
Introduces a werewolf? She has a constant identity crisis and feels like a dog sometimes, between human and wolf, and she's discriminated against in places for being undead. A conman running a bank? Forces everyone to realise how useless gold really is in a scathing indictment of economics. Death becomes Santa? But WHY DOES THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL NEED TO DIE? WHY THE UNFAIRNESS IN THE WORLD? WHY?
What can the harvest hope for, if not the care of the Reaper Man?
It's what sets these stories apart from so many others. Magic is never the solution, reality is usually the solution. And little is introduced without Pratchett delving the idea to its depths, sooner or later.
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omg im scared my tags are gonna get cut out
were he not born to be a hero he must surely be born for this. <- I LOOOOVE THISS my GODD are u KIDDDDINGME i looooove that so much monty :(( how it ties back in to the start!!
and the way!! he uses what he learned on izuku. and izuku really DID burst into a million tears 🥺 poor guy probs needs it THE MOST WAAAH i loooove this lil interaction i am MUSH
and when he realises its different from touching you??? OHHHH. BOYYYYYY.
i love this monty thank u for writing this
STEADY BEGINNINGS ┊ TODOROKI SHOUTO
tags: GN reader, developing relationship (eventual friends to lovers), touch starved shouto, physical affection (hand holding + long hugs), good god the yearning, obliviousness, jealousy, fluff + angst, pro hero shouto, reader works at hero agency
wc: 3.8K
series masterlist: 2/5
Shouto was born to be a hero.
It is a sentiment shared by reporters and fans alike. Todoroki Shouto, the pride of Endeavor, the saving grace of his family name. True, his development had been entirely up to chance—no matter the intent or cruel desperation behind his father’s actions, he had to rely on the probability that the next offspring would win the genetic lottery—but low and behold, he did, and to many people that alone was a sign of destiny at work.
Ultimately, he chose to continue the path of being a hero himself, but no higher being put him there. His father did. At the time of his birth Shouto had not been a son, not even a baby. He was a project. A small, shapeless, squirmy thing. Malleable, like any young mind. It’s a miracle he retained any will and individuality.
Sometimes when alone with his thoughts, Shouto would hypothesise on the whys and the hows. The conclusion he always comes to is this: any sort of reality in which Shouto succumbs to his father’s ideals and manipulation would have to be a world in which his mother does not exist.
While his existence was planned, and wanted, he was to be a hero and as such, wasn’t cut from love—that came after. He loved his mother. So much so that when she hurt, he hurt. When she cried, he cried. She taught him what it meant to be gentle, to have hope, to aspire to be his own person. Years spent amongst the country's finest heroes and Shouto still regarded his mother as the bravest woman he knew, strong because she refused to be hardened by her circumstances; soft so that she can’t be broken again.
You are like his mother in that regard. Those same echoes of reassurance that softness isn’t weakness, and it isn’t earned. You’ve been touching him more as of late, as if determined to prove it. Static between brushed fingertips, words expressed by simply pressing your knees together, the weight of your hand on his bicep to garner his attention. The build up is subtle and cumulative and yet each instance strikes him with the magnitude of a thermodynamic explosion.
Nobody bats an eyelid to this shift in physicality, which makes it all the more difficult to determine whether he is reading into things or not. It could be that he’s noticing those small instances only because it’s you, and you are all he can think about lately.
You’ve given him permission to reciprocate. He merely has to ask for more if he wants it. What Shouto hadn’t accounted for is the unbearability of being vulnerable enough to ask. An innocent “can you hug me?” becomes so much more daunting to voice with all that longing crowded up behind it. He can’t help worrying you’ll see right through to the bottom of his desires.
A hand comes into view. Bakugo’s ash-smudged finger and thumb pinch and snap together in front of his face. “Come back to Earth, dumbass. Your thousand yard stare is scarin’ my new assistant”.
Shouto blinks out of his stupor and the blurred vignette surrounding his vision recedes. He glances at the skittish man sitting outside Bakugo’s office currently sending worried glances over his shoulder. “I think he’s more scared that you’re back,” Shouto intones dryly. “Isn’t he the fourth one this year?”
“Not my fault they’re all wimps,” Bakugo huffs. A slap reverberates around the office as he throws down a manila folder onto his desk and drops heavily into his chair. He regards Shouto with suspicion overtop his computer monitor. “Whatever you were just thinkin’ about—stop”.
“You don’t know what I’m thinking about”.
“I know you always manage to make Olympic level leaps in logic,” Bakugo rolls his eyes and tears open the folder. He slides out what Shouto assumes is a debrief and flips it between his fingers. Shouto keeps quiet. He reclines into the couch cushions and returns to reading the incident report on his lap, counting down from ten in the privacy of his mind. Anytime now.
Three, two, one.
“So what is it?” Bakugo asks, trying too hard to sound flippant but landing squarely on irritation. “Spit it out before you give yourself an aneurysm”.
Shouto opens his mouth and closes it again. A wave of hot embarrassment washes over him. He knows Bakugo will do him the kindness of being blunt and honest but it doesn’t make it any less humiliating to admit.
In their younger years Shouto saw something of a kindred spirit in Bakugo. He too did not like touch and aggressively voiced his distaste for it whenever he got the chance—which was often, because divine intervention sought fit to give him the most tactile, handsy friend group possible.
As they got older though, Shouto began to realise that the protests and threats were hollow. Despite being vehemently against affection, Bakugo would allow it anyway, and sometimes even seek it out. The aggression was bravado. Bakugo liked having his friends draped around his shoulders. He liked when Mina kissed his cheek, or Kaminari played with his hair, or Kirishima gathered him into a too-tight hug, or Sero tangled their ankles together on the couch.
Only, for him to comfortably accept it, Bakugo needed to act as though he were doing them a favour by allowing them into his space. And Bakugo’s friends played along without complaint.
From what he’s observed you are also an affectionate person. You are liberal with your warmth and adapt seamlessly to the boundaries of those around you. But you were also visibly uncomfortable whenever people took that affinity for intimacy as an open invitation, and recoiled if they encroached on your own.
Shouto has imagined reaching out only for your body to flinch away from him more times than he can count. It’s a battle staged in his head, ingrown fears. The possibility alone was enough to keep him from reciprocating, set in a state of fawn-like inertia.
“There’s somebody I want to get closer to. A friend,” he begins. Bakugo makes an inquisitive noise, props his cheek against his fist and narrows his eyes as he listens. Shouto retells the story in part, deciding to omit your name, and by the tail-end of it Bakugo’s forehead is deeply creased in dissatisfaction.
“You make all your own problems, Halfie. Y’know that?” he mutters, rubbing at the bridge of his nose and sinking back into his chair. “Fine, you don’t want to make this person uncomfortable, or whatever. If you need a hug so damn badly, why not ask Deku? Not like he’d say no”.
Knowing Bakugo would make his dilemma sound ridiculous is one thing, actually hearing it is another. “How do you know it isn’t about Midoriya,” Shouto returns petulantly.
“It ain’t Izuku or anyone else from your nerd squad,” Bakugo says, dropping his hand to drum on the desk. “I would’ve heard about it”.
“Why?”
“Because you don’t touch people. And that’s fuckin’ fine, yeah? But if you had, I know for a fact any one of them would’ve burst into tears and told everyone in a five mile radius”.
“Oh,” it leaves him a little off-kilter to hear. Shouto leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, setting the report on the dark wood coffee table. The corner of the page is curled, and the spine is creased, and the ink annotation has smudged under his thumb. He details these things as he deliberates, the excuses cloying in his throat and thick like he might cry too.
Bakugo was right—if he craved close contact so badly, why couldn’t he go to Midoriya? He knows he would likely be met with enthusiasm.
“You don't have to tell me who. I don’t care. But you’re overthinking it,” Bakugo grunts at his lack of response, in a way that very much suggests that he cares. “Go ask. If they say ‘no’ it’s tough shit, but the world isn’t gonna end. From what you’ve told me they wouldn’t say ‘no’ anyway. Dumbass”.
Shouto nods and gives up the pretense of reading the paperwork. He feels coltish as he stands and brushes down his front, straightening the creases.
“You’re right”.
“I know”.
“Thank you, Bakugo,” he says. A small smile unfurls across his anxiety-bitten mouth. “You’re a good friend”.
“Shut up,” Bakugo grumbles. It’s a testament to his concern that he hadn’t cursed Shouto there and then. “Now get out of my office. What are you doing here in the first place? You got your own!”
“Yours gets all the sunlight. And it’s always quiet because nobody comes in here,” Shouto ignores the baleful slit of an eye Bakugo turns on him. “I’m going to take my lunch now”.
“Do what you want,” Bakugo dismisses haughtily, and Shouto smiles while thinking, not for the first time, that he’s very lucky to have friends like these.
The fidgety assistant bows as he exits and turns into the sun-drenched hallway. Warmth drapes around Shouto’s shoulders, lingering at his nape while he descends the dark stairwell where the light doesn’t reach. His boots thud against the linoleum, and he counts each footfall to keep his face neutral as his legs carry him toward your department.
Somewhere between one and one hundred and thirteen, a fraction of Shouto’s courage starts to dwindle. He grits his teeth. A hundred steps can’t be enough to dissuade him after decades of denying himself any kind of indulgence.
The further he goes into the support wing the more elaborate the layout becomes. You’re in research and development, assigned a workshop close to the quirk analysts. Heads turn as Shouto rolls through. Heroes didn’t often make personal visits to this area. If he thinks hard enough he could count a grand number of two past visits and neither of them were for you.
His stride falters when he catches sight of your nameplate. It is fixed to the wall outside your door, polished and gleaming proudly. Shouto traces the characters of your name engraved into steel before raising his hand to knock.
Your voice rings out from inside, “Come in!”
A pitched beeping sound comes from overhead. The workshop doors begin to open in a theatrical fashion, receding like curtains to reveal your space. The floor is mapped out with tape. Clear boundaries drawn between the work benches, the fume cupboards, the vault and your personal office, in an attempt at organised chaos. He might have been more interested in poking around for the first time if he had not felt on the edge of intrusion.
You’re tucked behind your curved desk surrounded by numerous monitors that dwarf your frame. Shouto furtively takes in your cute, rumpled appearance. The upper half of your coveralls have been undone to reveal an undervest, sleeves tied tight around and accentuating your waist.
“Take a seat, I’ll be with you in…” the dull tapping of practiced keystrokes comes to a stop as you notice him in the doorway. The professional veneer disappears. “Shouto?” you say, mostly to yourself. Your gaze slides beyond his shoulder, looking for whoever might be accompanying him. “Is everything okay?”
There’s a worried twist in your mouth that he wants to smudge away. A look in your eyes—a combination of warmth and weight that tugged at his being. Shouto rolls his shoulders, shaking off the tension, and moving deeper into your office. The doors close automatically behind him. “I’m okay,” he assures, taking the seat across from you.
Your expression gentles, and he likes how your gaze follows him. “I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me,” he continues. “But if you’re working I can head back”.
“Lunch?” you repeated. Your eyes darted to the corner of the monitor closest to you and promptly widened. “Oh, shit. When did that happen?”
An upswing of fondness catches him like a blow to the chest. His mouth quirks into a smirk. “How long have you been here?”
“Too long. I got lumped with a new project a few days ago and it’s almost done,” the monitors shut off one by one as you sheepishly press each button. Then you gave him a soft, apologetic look, “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. Must’ve missed me if you came all the way down here”.
Dread shriked through him. The low whirring from the equipment scattered around your workspace is suddenly inordinately loud. Was he that obvious?
You, however, fail to notice Shouto’s anxiety and grab him around the wrist as you pivot the desk. “C’mon. Let’s go before the good stuff is gone,” you tell him.
Shouto had absolutely no clue what the ‘good stuff’ entailed—maybe he should’ve bothered to ask. Atleast it would take his mind off your hand. It’s wrapped around his sleeve, right where the fabric ends, loose enough for him to unshackle from if he wants. When he doesn’t protest the contact you stroke your thumb in an arc over the heel of his hand and squeeze.
Shouto falls into step, too caught up to realise you’ve taken him to the cafeteria. He expects you’ll drop his wrist in the presence of your colleagues, yet you adjust your grip and glance back at him with an encouraging tilt of your head.
“I’m starving. I think I’ll get a rice bowl. Smells pretty good today, don’t you think?”
Shouto hummed his agreement. He felt out of his depth, and he didn’t trust his voice. The spark of giddiness was doing embarrassing things to his throat. The line is mercifully short and before long he has a warm bowl of food held against his front.
“Did you want to sit in here? I can take us to one of the senior staff lounges instead if you want,” you cast a nervous look across the sparse crowd. “I mean, support engineers aren’t really gossiping types but…”
A petty part of him hoped the whispers would escalate. To have your name linked with his, to be known as a person that you cared about—he found that deeply satisfying, for reasons he couldn’t yet put his finger on.
Then again, being alone with you far eclipsed the appeal of flaunting your friendship. “The senior staff lounge sounds best,” he answers after a minute of feigned consideration. You nod, regretfully having dropped his hand, and motion for him to follow once more.
The lounge is a modest room with a kitchenette, a breakfast nook and a few bean bag chairs. It smells faintly like peeled oranges. There are post it notes and blueprints haphazardly stuck to the pinboard, covering an out of date calendar filled out in illegible scrawl. This is no shop awning. There is no rainfall to lend to the ambiance. But you are together in an enclosed space, and that is enough to make his heart beat in anticipation.
You scoot into the breakfast nook. He sits on the same side of the table and tries to subtly spread his knees enough to nudge your thigh. You side-glance in surprise but choose not to mention it. Instead you smile through your first mouthful and ask, “How've things been since I last saw you?”
Achy, like he’s used an atrophied muscle. Lonely, and frustrating beyond words. But he doesn’t say any of that. He digs crescents into his thigh through his pant leg and says, “Boring”.
“Figured that might be the case. I saw the livestream of you fighting Haywire,” you bump your shoulder against his. “The Commission probably dumped a whole load of paperwork on you, huh?”
Shouto wrinkles his nose. He hoped you hadn’t caught that fight. The pursuit of Haywire—an eco terrorist with an electrical quirk—managed to cause an unprecedented amount of damage to the city infrastructure.
“You handled it as best you could. The power grid can be fixed. What’s important is people are alive because of you,” a warm weight covers the fingers restlessly whittling at his pant leg. You pet his hand, “I’m glad you weren’t hurt”.
Guided solely by his impulses, the instant you start to draw back he envelops the top of your hand and sandwiches it between his own. He goes hot and cold all over in quick succession. Boundaries, he reminds himself. But you’re not pulling away. You’re studying him with a knowing gleam in your eye.
Shouto clears his throat. Heat pricks across his skin, concentrated in his cheekbones. “Sorry,” he says. You can ask, a memory echoes. “Is this okay?”
“You don’t have to apologise. I told you it’s fine,” you reply firmly. “I’m happy to remind you if you need to hear it”.
“No, I…” his brow furrows. “I’ve been thinking”.
“That’s not good”.
Shouto snorts and shakes his head, his amusement petering out into a shallow breath. “I want to ask. I’ve wanted to ask like you said I could,” he explains vaguely. “I’m not very good at it, I think”.
You make a soft, understanding sound that immediately sets him at ease. “I guess, after denying yourself something for so long it can be scary to let yourself have it again,” you murmur, a faraway look in your eyes. After a pensive moment the sheen fades and your laughter lines deepen, “I’ll do what I did before, then. If you look like you need a hug I’ll ask you instead”.
“In what way do I ‘look like’ I need a hug?”
“You get this—I don’t know how to explain it,” you gesture vaguely at him. “This blankness about you, but not your normal resting face, I mean you don’t seem all there. I don’t like it. I like it best when you’re happy”.
“Ah,” comes his eloquent response. Shouto drops his gaze to where your hands knot together. Every quark in his body is urging him to get closer, and remain close. “Bakugo thinks I should try to hug Midoriya, too,” he adds, oddly flustered.
“Huh. You talked to Bakugo about—? That’s a surprise. A nice surprise, I mean! Well, Midoriya does give great hugs. It would be good for you to…”
Shouto’s thoughts grow louder and he frowns down at his rice. You’re saying something about physical touch and wellness and friends. Dopamine and serotonin. It barely registers. Two truths are pinging around his skull.
You have hugged Midoriya. Of course you have. You’re friends.
You think he’s great at it.
Why is that so unsettling? Teenagers think like this. Single minded and overly emotional.
He feels the shifting of your knuckles under his palm. “Hey. You’ll need one of these back if you’re going to eat,” you say.
“Right,” he lifts his left hand and picks up his chopsticks to take a pinch of rice from his bowl. He chews until the clamouring in his mind has settled, and you patiently accept his stoic silence without explanation. Shouto hasn’t been this awkward since highschool, and even then he was too wrapped up in his familial problems to be aware of it.
“What’s the project you’ve been working on?” he eventually asks.
You take the change of topic in your stride, leaning closer and lowering your voice to an excited whisper, “I’m not supposed to tell you but—it’s for Deku’s new costume”.
“Midoriya is getting a new costume?” Shouto replies. You playfully shush him and he pouts a little.
“Don’t sulk. He doesn’t know yet either,” you poke a chopstick at the corner of his jutted mouth. “It’s my job to prepare a design portfolio and talk through everything next week. You’ll get a new one too, when you break the top five”.
“If,” he amends.
“You don’t think you’ll move up?”
“Reaching the top was never really a priority for me,” Shouto’s attention splinters, half of his focus on the conversation and the other on the sensation of your skin. He considers overturning his hand to entwine your fingers. “I just want to be the best hero I can be”.
You hum, and as if plucking the desire right from his mind, absentmindedly slip into the gaps between his fingers. Shouto steadies his breathing and takes another mouthful.
The rest of the hour passes, syrupy and slow like molasses. By the final minute Shouto’s palm is sticky and reluctant to part from yours. You usher him out from the breakfast nook first, stacking the empty bowls before directing him back toward the emptied cafeteria.
You slide the bowls along the counter for the kitchen staff to take. Then you wipe your hands down your front as you pivot to face him, thrusting out both arms as he stands frozen.
“Can I hug you?”
Shouto touches his face and you laugh.
“This is because I want one,” you clarify with a warm grin, beckoning him closer.
Shouto inhales steps into the embrace, his arms instinctively wrapping around your back. There are less layers this time—the heat of your body is overwhelming, alongside the gentle rise of goosebumps across your bare shoulders. Your breath fell gently on his collarbone, his head lowering to curl into you. He thinks, were he not born to be a hero, he must surely be born for this.
“Thank you,” you mumble, squeezing his waste a final time as you retreat. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”
Shouto nods. Your presence moves away like the sun being blocked out and he watches you go, departing words caught in his teeth, an incessant buzz in his fingertips. The walk back to his office is a gauzy yellow haze. Every physiological response in his body told him that he was in a free fall, despite his feet being firmly on the ground.
“Shouto!”
Shouto halts mid-step at the familiar voice. He turns to look at Izuku, at the tentative beginnings of his smile. “Izuku,” he says.
“We missed you at lunch—are you feeling alright?” Izuku asks, slightly bemused. “You look kinda… floaty,” his eyes are dark, softened in the afternoon light as they sweep over Shouto’s figure and his face.
"Izuku," Shouto said before he could convince himself otherwise, “Do you want a hug?”
The innocent question appeared to crash into Izuku with the levity of a bullet train in motion. Tears sprang to his eyes, brighter now. Shouto tenses as he is swept into a solid hug. Izuku smells like fresh air, sweat and sweet-salty broth. He holds Shouto as though trying to keep his seams from bursting; thick arms are secure around his shoulders, and a rough palm rubs broad strokes down his back, smoothing the tension until Shouto is relaxed.
You were right. Izuku does give great hugs. Shouto came away doughy, and fuller, and with the stark realisation that while touching Izuku soothed the ache, it still felt completely different to touching you.
Later, as he leaned his head against the desk surface, he sluggishly contemplated the implications of that.
#oh monty this makes me ache for him sooo terribly#i got sooo sad at 'he was a project' bc truly :(((( like a test trial :(( oh im so sad#and this is so powerful omg: any sort of reality in which Shouto succumbs to his father’s ideals and manipulation#would have to be a world in which his mother does not exist. <- :(((( he loves his mama#and i looove the idea of you reminding him of the parts that he loves and admires about his momma#how you view softness as strength and it ISN'T EARNED!!! that's the impt bit. I AM SUUUCH A SUCKER FOR THAT#The build up is subtle and cumulative and yet each instance strikes him with the magnitude of a thermodynamic explosion.#<- SO GOOD DHBGHSF. i also love that you gradually ease him into it#anD WAAAAAHHH THE WAY it shocks no one that youre touchy w him and he's double thinking if its just him bc ure all he can think about latel#An innocent “can you hug me?” becomes so much more daunting to voice with all that longing crowded up behind it <- I WANT TO HUG HIMSDHFBSD#he is sooOOO precious :(( learning how to love and be touched and wanting it just cos he wants it :((#the oLYMPIC LEVEL LEAPS OF LOGIC HAS ME CACKLING HJSBDFJ i looove todobaku dynamics my GOD#AND HOW HE KNOWSSSS BKG IS GONNA ASK HIM TO SPILL IT ANYWAY DSHFBSJD PLS#AND SO TRUE :(( he and bkg are the same !!! in diff ways !! nd he allows the affection to touch him!!! despite all his bark WAAAH#MONTY I LOVE EVERYTHING U WRITE TRULY DHSD THE CHARACTERISATION NAD THE LIL DETAILS I AM JUST !!#AND SHOUTO BEING SCARED OF RECIPROCATING!!! BC OF U REJECTING HIM WAAAAH my precious boy#I CHOKED AT THE DEKU SUGGESTIODNFHSDB and everyone in their group bursting into tears at the thought of shouto's touch WAAAH#theres so much personality to your scenes monty i am forever in awe of it!!!!!! the todobaku dynamic SOARS and bkg's personality shines thr#and im cryING at shouto counting all the steps to you asfbsd he likes how your gaze follows him :(( OHHH IM MELTINGG HE LIKES UUU#WHEN U JOKE ABT HIM MISSING U HGSDFSJA AND HE GOES FULL ON ANXIETY BUT URE LIKE EH ! LETS GO !#IM CRYININGHBDFDS HES SOO CUTE when u grab his wrist and its ALLL he can focus on oh GOD let me HAVE HIM#AND HIM WANTING UR NAME TO BE ATTASCHED TO HIS DFJBS OH im so sick for tht BUT HE'D RATHER BE ALONE WITH U GODDDD#his lil movements tyring to get close to u like spreading his thighs?? OMGFBASFJ thATS SO CUTE#I LOOOOVE the attention to all the small points of touch AND WHEN HE TAKES UR HAND BACK TO SANDWICH IT WITH HIS OWN GOOOD DHJFBSHJ SOMEONE#everything abt this interaction is makigme GO INSANE monty omg. 'i like it best when ure happy' and then HIM OVERTHINKING THE HELLLL#OUT OF YOU HUGGING MIDORIYAF AHSDJFJ IM GOIDHFGJBSL#HIS LITTLE SULKKK SAAAAVE ME and he considers oVERTURNING UR HAND TO INTERTWINE UR FINGERS HELLOADG>>>!>!>>!!?!?!#MOnty i feel like a rabid dog going insane at small touches LIKE. they could breathe around one another and i think i woud die#bnha#sho
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Every planet in the 12th: Observations
The 12th house shows you in which ways you can leave the biggest impact on the world in the purest most intentional way if you so choose.
*I didn't feel like proof reading spare me*
sun in the 12th often misperceived or seen as having underlining motives even when that is furthest from the truth. Actually quite often upfront with their intentions regardless if they know more than they've led you to believe. The projection others put on them is veryyy high, sun person unconsciously triggering deep seated wounds in others while they just assume they’re having a normal conversation. They either love gossip or are always being brought up in gossip. Attracting secret admirers bc of the taboo aspect of their personality. They teach others how to be themselves through example and that gives them the popular loner vibe, everyone wants to know whats going on in their life. Though Its often not as interesting as the stories that are being created about them (probably at home chilling). Unintentionally very funny their light hearted nature makes others feel comfortable. They know how to create warm welcomes. They can read animals minds. They dress how they feel. Escape artist. Probably through music, film or imagination. Gift for photography.
moon in 12th romantic relationships have a big influence on these people. They'll change their whole life around to fit into their lovers life for better or worse. Naturally harmonious these people are seemingly unsuspecting until you piss them off then you realize they just choose to keep peace. Prone to escapism usually through some sort of creative pursuit turned business. Obviously not forward with their feelings ppl tend to label them as having their head in the clouds when in reality they have plans its just nobody else's business. There's a love/resentful relationship with the mother. The mother could've been a physical provider but not emotional. These ppl had to nurture and comfort themselves and it made them very good at being those things for others. Children and animals loveeeee them. They are givers and don't mind sharing for the greater good. Dependable and persistent they can stick out something they feel is important. But if they don't care... Oh its very obvious. That job they don't like? Oh don't even worry about it they'll quit. They don't like feeling stressed or unharmonious and don't mind removing anything thats trying to hinder that. In the lower natures this creates a person that ignores anything that would make them have to readjust their behavior. Extremely delusional and misreads the room quite often. Very emotional changing how they feel about you frequently. It can become hard to give and receive trust.
Mars in the 12th manifest things/experiences so easy especially through their connections. They know how to put themselves in the right rooms with the right people. They date people that improve their social standing and they do the same in return. When its comes to career they could've seemed like the runt in the group but they grew themselves to be well respected in their field. Often hearing ''you only got this because''. They attract a lot of haters jealous of their success or the way they got their success. these people are attractive and naturally have a body others envy, they always have options and good ones at that.
Venus in 12th boy oh boy the hopeless romantics, but whats so hopeless about it? Others may often wonder why you picked the person you did viewing you as opposites. There may be an age gap or cultural difference. The women often choose partners that have a different social standing or perception than their own. The Men do the same though their more willing to be in relationships with unrequited love. Have had their fair share of infidelity issues until they found the person that would ride or die for them and vise versa. Privacy and trust are high priority for these people. Very good at socializing they know how to read what is needed to improve the energy of a space. Their parties/hostings are always so inviting and rememberable. They work very well with children and animals. Especially those in need. Fostering is something they wouldn't mind doing, along with nursing things back to health. Examples hair, nails. Plants etc. Very crafty they'd create beautiful jewelry and clothing. Their style is unique and acquired taste even. Controlling an image or narrative comes natural these Pol could do damage control for celebrities. When Ppl are in a frantic state they know how to calm assist.
Mercury in 12th are good at controlling the narratives around themselves. People hand on to every word that's said. These are the types that prefer to talk when necessary and not give out to much information. Just enough to keep you hooked. They have a unique sound and are musically inclined it helps that they think outside of the box. Usually the leader of the group because of their ability to see the broader picture and keep everyones best interest at heart. They attract haters bc they set high goals for themselves they get viewed as outlandish or unpractical when actually they just believe in themselves and remain optimistic. They know alot about very specific niche things.
Jupiter in the 12th don't get the credit they deserve for being so iconic. They really are trendsetters that break molds and stereotypes and tend receive backlash for the things they say & do simply because they were the first to do it. Opening up the pathway for others to show up more authentically and protected. They have big expression and are passionate about the things they choose to do. Their not afraid to speak their truth and having a forgiving nature. Creative pursuits are well received by the public attracting sponsors easily. Its also easy for them to find/create a community ppl reall gravitate to them. Their kryptonite lies in their self esteem. If they can't face rejection they'll hide the best parts of themselves. Only seeing the beauty in others and not what they offer the world.
Saturn in the 12th need to know when to stop while their ahead. They get into unnecessary battles bc of a fragile or inflated ego. When the ego is healthy this makes for a very powerful person that commands rooms with ease. They make Pol want to sit up in their chair when they walk in. These Pol are stubborn but more often than not it works out in their favor. Very hard workers and the same energy they apply is expected from those around them. If they put in 80 hrs a week they expect the same from you, if I can do it why can't you mentality. They achieve alot and Ppl notice it but its like no one ever sees them working they just see the finished product and know a lot had to be done behind the scenes. For example let's say someone is very popular you know they would've had to built those relationships you just didn't see it happen. They could have a guilt complex about their achievements and feel like theirs still more they should be doing for other ppl. Growing up as the star, the golden child, the one thats going to help the family put a lot of pressure and responsibility on them. This could've also affected the relationship between the others siblings. Lastly these Ppl are either very serious about punctuality or show up whenever they want to. Maybe even both they could've started out one way and over time became another way. When saturn is damaged they run from responsibility and are viewed as childish and never learning from their lessons.
Neptune in the 12th know how to win over the audience. I chose the word audience bc they love an audience. Ppl will make excuses for their behavior like ''you know they had a rough childhood'' as if that excuses hurting others. Professional sympathy grabbers even when their not even trying and great ass kissers when they want to be. That is in neptunes lower natures ofc. These ppl speak their mind without a fuck given. This is like the only pile im cursing in and that kind of explains them. Their going to say what they want and don't mind shaking the room up. Image is important to them. They'll study their own footage to see what they looked like, sounded like, acted like, and change anything they deem as not fitting. They could be great actors or social media personalities. Also would be good at managing social media accounts. These ppl may be easily persuaded especially by those they view as having a higher social ranking than themselves. Knowing how to adapt to any environment is their strong suit. They act as a mirror in their environment and reflect back whatever energy you give them. To a T at that. They know when to play it up or be more lowkey. This is type of person to always leave lasting impressions on ppl. They could be the first in a taboo field to achieve something. Like being the first pornstar to get 100 million views. Its like when you think you have them figured out they do something else that shows there's many other sides to them. Often hearing ''i didnt think I would like you at first''. With a great sense of humor they know how to laugh at themselves and lighten the mood they don't take life to seriously. They attract a lot of unique ppl their friend group is very expansive. They could be friends with a stripper and an attorney. Hell they might've been a stripper and an attorney.
Uranus in the 12th they just pop up and ppl are surprised like ''omg what are doing here'' these ppl are held in high regard mostly bc their very selective with their energy, your viewed as a busy person so when you come around it makes ppl feel lucky. You treat others fairly and want everyone around you to feel accepted. You value keeping the peace. The fact that I'm even using you instead of they is a reflection of how inclusion is important for you. Having an eccentric vibe is more obvious here but alot of ppl go the opposite way and don't want to appear uniquely at all they actually want to be as plain Jane as possible. This can actually rub ppl the wrong way and make them feel something is being hidden from them like your pretending. Feeling criticized in childhood is why accepting others is something they prioritize. They end up in rooms with many different types of ppl. This placement has a lot of experience in a lot of different areas. With a free spirited nature they are open to trying new things pushing themselves outside of their comfort zone quite often.
Pluto in the 12th, a quiet energy standing in the back of the room scoping out the scenery. They notice more than ppl realize and are smarter than they let on. Often having their power tested bc of their calm observing demeanor. Ppl try to make them feel they don't belong in certain environments or that their not really qualified but they don't mind showing you why that perception isn't accurate. They know how to push back. The type to pretend they don't care about popularity but they work very hard at obtaining it. But maybe they don't care about the popularity just the power that it brings. Knowing the value of relationships they put alot into maintaining them. They are very giving to those around them. Self sacrificing even, its like they believe thats how you show someone you really care. These are some of the most passionate people you'll meet. They just know how to make you feel understood and seen. They make everyone feel special. This is one of the most intense placements for the 12th house. The transformations are deep, murky, confusing but it breeds and very self sufficient determined person. They question everything and are always growing and adapting. When they find something they like they become obsessive about it. They will work for extended amounts at a time. Like binging behavior. In Pluto's lower natures they develop a chip or their shoulder and use their influence to hurt others. If they are operating from that place they become very good at it. If they are never brought into awareness they continue generational curses but their children will have it worse than they did. These are the type of Pol that will tell you a traumatic experience in such a casual way and your just left like wtf you said that like it was normal. They also could've grew up experiencing their traumas being brushed off like they were normal. They were familiar with death from a young age and may have felt like they never really were a child. They build the trust of others easily and its bc their honest. It is what it is to them. They are natural born leaders it doesn't take much convincing & they don't mind leading the way as long as you give them their accolades for it. Mind you they could have a god complex but to be fair if you've experienced or achieved the things they have you might too.
#astrology#12th house#astrology101#astrologyfacts#8th house#astrologyzone#astro notes#astrologychart#pluto astrology#pluto aspects
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barbados is a mindset
“Yes. You are now in Barbados. And so… you see Barbados, and you see America from Barbados, and you can smell the tropical land of Barbados, see only the little homes of Barbados, and that’s all you do. You just simply sleep this night in Barbados.” - Abdullah tells Neville.
Before Neville Goddard knew of the law and practiced it, his country was plunged in a state of instability. Poverty runs rampant as the global stock market crashes, sparking panic and leaving many penniless. Neville explained the vivid details of homeless people scattered all over tunnels and city square, eyes void of hope for the future. He was unemployed just like millions of others, his career as a dancer wasn’t enough to support his living. Neville lived in a basement for years with little to no income until one day, he met his friend, Abdullah.
Abdullah was well-off and is the son of the US secretary of the Treasury, who served under the 32nd president. The differences between them were large and Neville was aware of it. He confided in his friend and told him that he has this haunting desire to visit Barbados again. The only thing that was stopping Neville though, was the lack of money. In which Abdullah says,
“You are in Barbados.”
Of course, Neville thought he was nuts but the man decided to try and assume that he was in Barbados. That night, he went to sleep thinking that he would wake up in Barbados, only to be disappointed that he woke up in the cold basement he called his home. Neville would come back and tell Abdullah that it didn’t work, only for the latter to ignore him. Despite that Neville kept persisting and on the morning of December, he got a letter from his older brother asking him to visit his family in Barbados – his brother had paid a third class ticket. Excited, Neville told Abdullah that he is going to Barbados however, his friend was unimpressed. Abdullah told Neville that he wasn’t boarding a third class ticket, he was going to go there with a first class ticket.
And guess what? When Neville gave his ticket to the clerk by the desk as they’re checking in passengers, they told him that someone canceled their first class ticket, therefore a spot was available for him.
Abdullah ignored Neville when he said ‘it didn’t work’ because it did work, if Neville was assuming that he was in Barbados, they wouldn’t be having this discussion about him not being there. What can you take from this story? I would say that unfortunate circumstances don't matter, especially when we see how bad and dire Neville’s financial situation was. Come on, he was in a country torn apart by war and poverty, yet he was still able to visit Barbados. Neville didn’t think of how he’d get there, he just simply assumed that he was there, and his 3D reality follows right after.
Barbados is a mindset. If you can imagine yourself having it and then accept that it is yours, you’re at the end. Your assumption is the fetus, continue nourishing it with beliefs and affirmations – let that child grow and become. If you drop your assumption that basically means you’re neglecting the fetus, and it will eventually die from starvation.
It doesn't matter if you have no money, it doesn't matter if you're in an abusive situation, it doesn't matter that you barely have a roof over your head. You are already in Barbados, tune into your inner man and bask in that.
EDIT: My apologies for getting the information mixed up. Abdullah is not the son of US secretary, rather he lived in a house that was rented by the latter. Sorry for the confusion!
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♡ TW: nsfw, noncon, yandere, kidnapped reader, murder of nameless side characters
♡ fem reader
Thinking about that moment of violent change you’re forced to go through when your loving boyfriend becomes the terrifying man you don’t recognize—and how it completely eradicates the reality you’d grown so comfortable in, realizing it was all some perfectly orchestrated lie.
Rope burns on your wrists and ankles, tears streaking your chunky cheeks, and a poor soul’s blood on your pretty face belonging to some guy who’d gotten a little too close for comfort.
He’d cut him down like it was nothing.
The knife is held still by his side, a shining red murder weapon, dripping on the floor in the growing pond by his feet. He sighs heavily, casts his head back then looks behind him, beholding you through slim eyes, clicking his tongue, “Look what you made me do…”
He wouldn’t be the only one… several victims followed in his bloody path—witnesses who’d seen him struggle with you, kicking and screaming for all your worth, trying anything to get away. You were all too easily manhandled into the car, and could only watch behind the locked door, banging with bound fists on the glass while he gutted other passersby who’d threatened to call the police.
Driving off, he growls at you, first to shut up and then, “That was your fault—if only you’d been a good girl, none of those innocent people would have had to die.” His knuckles whiten on the wheel, wringing it in his stained grip—scarlet on ivory. “If you don’t want any more blood on your hands, you better sit pretty and not cause me any more trouble.”
You sob uncontrollably and inconsolably despite the threat—you can’t stop yourself—you can’t even comprehend his words. None of it makes any sense. You’d seen it all, and yet you can’t understand it—any of it. You’d watched the sweet guy you knew shed his skin and become a monster right before your eyes. It must be some bad dream, some terrible, awful, horrible nightmare.
But even if it is, you don’t want him touching you ever again. It makes you physically sick to your stomach to think you’d ever shared a bed with him—exchanged sweet nothings in the damp heat of each other. No, no, no, it’s not the same person—it can’t be. It can’t be true. What about the smiles you’d shared over breakfast, those times you’d surprised each other at lunch, all the dates, all the gifts, all the kisses, the future you’d talked about?
You’d fallen in love. But you’ve fallen in love with someone who doesn’t even exist.
He makes sure the door to the bedroom’s under lock and a key he stores somewhere you won’t find it. You squirm in your bonds on the bed when he approaches, shivering with whimpers under his hands, flinching at his touch while he unties you, then cringing as he angles your face to look at him—wanting to pry free, anything not to look into those changed eyes.
You hadn’t thought his build was imposing before, it hadn’t struck you as lethal. Naively, you’d thought him cozy—a big chest and a warm embrace he would scoop you up in, a safe place you could live. He’s cold now, menacing and filthy from his crimes—the body of a killer, a cold-blooded murderer. He’s so big it makes the room feel too small for the both of you. Claustrophobic.
He forces your gaze to him, and it’s all you see, those eyes, those unrecognizable eyes, with that look within you can’t understand, beholding you with burden.
“I still love you,” he states, though it angers him. “Even though you broke my heart. I still love you.”
You shake your head, or you try to, but it results in only tiny tremors caught in his hand where he keeps your chin, bloody fingers buried in your plump cheeks, squeezing so hard you wince.
“But it doesn’t come for free,” he seethes with an awful sneer. A type of grimace you’d never thought him capable of, overfilled with disdain. “My love is earned. And after all you did today, you’re in deep debt.”
He lets go of your face with a nasty shove, taking a mean grip on your shirt instead, using both fists to tear it down the middle. You yelp and cover yourself, but that only angers him further—causing him to grab your wrists and pin them to your side. You think you feel your joints popping.
“Test me, and I’ll hurt you,” he growls, his teeth bared at your ear where your face curls to hide itself in the pillow. “I don’t want to, but if that’s what it takes to make you sorry, then so be it. Be good, and I won’t have to take it that far.”
You lie as still as you can muster while he removes the rest—roughly as he goes—your bra, your skirt, your underwear. You only snivel and toil with the sheets in weak little fists, making your joints cramp up—feeling raw under him, at the mercy of those blood-dried hands.
You understand what he’s about to do, and yet it doesn’t really dawn on you before you hear the sharp ringing of his belt buckle being undone. You don’t look, but you don’t close your eyes either—the room is already dark enough that closing your eyes would make you feel too close to death. So, you keep your gaze fixed to the side, to the stale wall.
The bed bounces you as he shuffles. The urge to run bubbles within, but you know it wouldn’t be to your advantage. So your mind spins, thinking of other possibilities, growing ever more panicked when coming up empty.
He spits on your slit, then rears it with his spitefully erect shaft—pushing in without further prep. And you lose all sense of control.
Twisting at the attack, you scream again, “No! Stop—”
Your hands barely touch him before he’s answered the protest with a tightening grip on your neck. Unrelenting, your throat instantly snares, and you choke on any further outburst.
“I told you,” he chastises. “Why do you have to force my hand, huh?”
You gasp for any sliver worth of air, sipping through the cracks of his chokehold, but it’s very nearly sealed completely shut. You try lifting his grip with your own, both hands holding onto his wrist, wanting to pull loose but achieving nothing.
It’s so pitiful that he ignores the effort. Using his remaining hand to continue what he’d set out to do. Planting his tip at your unprepped entrance, he wasted no time before surging forward.
Your vision starts to spot, and your hands grow weak, barely hanging on.
“That’s good. Lie still and take it,” he groans—his lips on your cheek as he bullies through your dry walls, only aided by his spit. “And I might consider once’ enough.”
You don’t have a choice, feeling your body go numb. He picks your thigh up over his hip and drives deeper—starting a steady pace without letting go of your throat, squeezing the life out of you. Your hands finally drop, lying limp, and still, you feel it deep within—the thrusting as he beats your sorry cunt into an aching mess, then fills you up with awful warmth.
♡ BNHA – Deku, Kirishima, Hawks ♡ JJK – Nanami, Geto, Naoya
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere smut#yancore#smut#yandere my hero academia#yandere boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia smut#mha smut#yandere mha#yandere bnha#my hero smut#my hero academia smut#bnha smut#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#yandere boyfriend#boyfriend#boyfriend scenarios
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⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ⏖ ’ show don’t tell with skz !
⁺ 𖹭 . genre: fluff
⁺ 𖹭 . a/n: how the boys say i love you without saying i love you. hope you like it <3
𝜗୧ chan 𝜗୧ - “I’m here for you.”
And he always means it. No matter how busy or stressed he is, if you call Chan comes running. Being your shoulder to cry on is his full-time job, to be honest.
This doesn’t only apply to when you’re going through something though. Chan is there for you when things are hard, of course, but he’s also always present when you accomplish something, doesn’t matter how small it is.
The most supportive boyfriend who never forgets to celebrate you. It’s such a normality in your relationship that you only realize how thoughtful and amazing he is when you look back, and his face comes to mind for every major event that took place in your life in the past year.
Is the epitome of ‘ride or die’ and you can’t change my mind.
𝜗୧ minho 𝜗୧ - by always looking out for you.
No matter what you are doing, Minho’s eyes will always gravitate towards you. To ensure you are safe, that you aren’t struggling with anything or feeling uncomfortable. Or so, he says, but in reality, he really enjoys just observing you in your everyday life, every action of yours adorable in his eyes.
If you are struggling, he’s by your side in a heartbeat. Most of the time, you won’t even realize he’s there until whatever was giving you problems is taken care of.
You can’t open something? Minho’s got it. You’re struggling with work? He’s quietly thinking of a solution and writing it down. You’re stressed? He’s already prepared your favorite snack and is on his way over.
Minho loves quietly yet his actions don’t let you forget about that love even for a second.
𝜗୧ changbin 𝜗୧ - by peppering kisses all over your face every opportunity he gets.
To him, you are absolutely adorable and sometimes, he gets this urge to just smother you with all of his love all at once. What’s ‘playing it coy’? Changbin’s never heard of her.
He’s usually one who doesn't shy away from expressing his love verbally, however, there are times when words just aren’t enough.
So, he’ll randomly lean towards you and start small, with a kiss or two on your cheeks before giving in and not stopping until he’s kissed every inch of your face.
He doesn’t play when it comes to you so, he’ll only stop when he shows you exactly how strong the feelings he carries in his heart are.
𝜗୧ hyunjin 𝜗୧ - by keeping a picture of you in his wallet.
I mean, of course, this is Hyunjin we are talking about. And the picture in question is one he took himself on one of your many dates.
Switches it out once every couple of months and sometimes, even keeps two at a time. He can’t help it – you look so beautiful and radiant, that being greeted by your smiling face every time he opens his wallet lifts his spirits instantly.
When he misses you, he’ll absentmindedly open his wallet for no reason just to see your face, even though he’s aware he can call and see your beaming smile whenever he pleases.
Swiftly sneaks a picture of himself in your own wallet so you can match.
𝜗୧ jisung 𝜗୧ - by dedicating every song he writes to you.
Being loved by you is the best thing that’s ever happened to him and nobody can convince Jisung otherwise.
That’s why, every time he sits down to work, his head is full of thoughts of you that just never go away. His heart is so full of love, he can’t help but at least attempt to put all of that into words.
Has written dozens of songs about you and the magical way you make him feel and they all sound like something that would play at the gates of heaven, just dreamy. The purest form of love.
Grabs his guitar and serenades you only with the songs he deems worthy of your attention.
𝜗୧ felix 𝜗୧ - “you look tense, let me give you a massage.”
That’s what he says but, in the end, he pampers you until you have to physically stop him. A hand massage, a face one, Felix becomes your personal masseur.
When you do stop him, he just moves on to hugging and cuddling you, leaving the occasional kiss here and there.
He can’t be too far apart from you, it physically hurts him. Has to touch and feel you near at all times, no matter what you’re doing. Links your pinkies together and just follows you around like a puppy.
Will do your skincare and even wash your hair for you, anything. Just ask.
𝜗୧ seungmin 𝜗୧ - “this reminded me of you.”
No matter what he’s doing, if he spots something in a store that makes his thoughts rush to you, he’s stopping that activity and going in immediately.
Doesn’t care about the money – the gifts can range from jewellery to random, sometimes ugly souvenirs he finds abroad at a gift shop. His mind works in mysterious ways, you can never know what silly thing would suddenly remind Seungmin of you next.
“You.” And it’s either the ugliest keychain you’ve ever seen or the most beautiful flowers, there’s no in-between.
Gets you a stuffed puppy so you can also be reminded of him at all times, just like he’s constantly thinking of you.
𝜗୧ jeongin 𝜗୧ - by quietly wiping your tears and holding you when upset.
He’s the type that won’t say anything and just bring you into the warmest, most comforting hug ever. His bear hugs will have you melting in his arms, making you feel super safe.
So gentle and soft-spoken, literally handles you like you’re made of glass when he sees something has truly upset you.
Will wipe your tears and listen to whatever you have to say, giving you his full attention. Also gets you water and helps you remove your makeup, or fix your hair when you feel better.
Won’t let go until he’s convinced you actually feel better and even then, an eye is still on you while he intertwines your fingers and goes on about his business.
#stray kids#skz#stray kids headcanons#skz headcanons#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids fluff#skz fluff#stray kids fanfic#bang chan x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#han jisung x reader#felix x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader
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god i seriously am never getting over That Scene in orv. kim dokja has so little compassion for himself that the only thing he can think to do upon being confronted with the most powerless, frightened, vulnerable version of himself is to try and murder it with his own hands. even when everyone is sobbing and begging him to stop, even when everyone has already forgiven him without reservation, even when yoo motherfucking pilgrim of the apocalypse joonghyuk cannot muster any animosity, kdj will not stop trying to convince them this trembling little boy needs to die. it had been well established by that point that kdj is self destructive and self loathing, but he was good at maintaining some emotional distance from his actions. but the moment he steps off that train, recognizes his own drawings, realizes what's happened, that impassive veneer shatters and he becomes desperate and vicious. this man hates himself so much. seriously, can you imagine how it must have felt to be oldest dream? you're an abused, lonely, depressed child. profoundly alone in this world, betrayed by everyone you've ever loved. you are so frightened of everything you can't bear to live in reality. you meet yourself from the future, but even he has no sympathy for you. no, he hates you. he hates you so much he wants to kill you. he would point a broken sword at his own throat if it meant he could erase you. you don't know what you did wrong. you never do. all you can do is cower from the monster and hope he doesn't get you.
like it's so fucked up. orv is so fucked up.
#what if you were the villain of your own story. my god#and the way kdj goes back to pretending to be casual afterwards is also eerie. guy who can handle his feelings normally#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv spoilers#kim dokja#could seriously talk about this scene for days it's so fucked up in like 20 different ways#because imagine how horrible it must have been for kdj to have his vulnerability laid bare w nothing to hide behind. kdj of all people.
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A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪
We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.
Long hair
AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).
As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.
Manifesting my way into a private school
Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.
I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.
Curly hair / straight hair
Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.
Social life?
This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).
However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".
Clear skin
This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.
Desired university?
Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".
Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".
I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.
A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.
Photographic memory
So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.
Learning fast
This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.
Hourglass body + 22" waist
This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.
Bigger boobs
This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).
I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye
#loassumption#manifesting#manifesation#loa success#loa tumblr#loa#self concept#void#successstories#void state#affirming loa#void success#neville goddard#law of assumption blog#law of attraction#law of assumption
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