#I won't lie to y'all this was born of my dislike of chole

[nik-840]

Lucifer x Gn Reader

Description: The reader is an Angle that used to be Lucifer's lover. However due to God intervening the couple no longer remember each other

Word Count: 2,620

Long ago just before the great war, God created a string of new Angels, just a handful. They were unrelated to God’s other children. They were created by him, yes but they were not children of the Goddes or children at all really. They were meant to be soldiers and soldiers only. But there is always a calm before a storm and in this calm two angels fell in love, the light bringer and his favorite star.

God could see everything or just about everything. He could see how Lucifer’s love for you overshadowed everything else. He saw that this would lead to Lucifer’s ultimate betrayal. If only he could see how his actions played a role in all this.

God decides to kick you out of heaven technically making you the first to fall. Except you didn't go to hell, you fell to earth lost and confused. This is the final straw for Lucifer and the war is waged. Once it's over the memory of Lucifer’s lover is erased from the minds of everyone who knew them. 

When you fell you lost your wings and with them, went your ability to remember not just the days in Eden but also the lifetimes spent walking the Earth alone. You wander for millennials never quite sure what's missing until you find him again in a city called Los Angeles.

The memories don’t come back for either of you when you find him again. But you become close and you just hold on to him. It doesn’t take long for you to realize you are in love with him but he was occupied with Chole. You didn’t want to say that you hated Chole but you strongly disliked her.

It had been a month or so since Lucifer revealed the truth to her. She was a wreck and ran off to Europe. She hadn’t even been back for a week and you had already noticed how it was affecting Lucifer. He was in more distress now than he had been the whole time she was gone. You were already tired of her. Lucifer would never say anything about it; he's too worried about her opinion of him. You on the other hand couldn't give two shits what she thought of you. You had a bone to pick with her so you showed up on her doorstep. 

“What the fuck is your problem?!” She looked completely dismayed.

“Excuse me?”

“You've been treating Lucifer like shit since you got back from your stupid trip.” She stuttered for a while trying to come up with a good reason. “Don't lie Decker you ran off to Europe for space or whatever. But now you're back and you're acting like he's harmed you.” 

“I've been going through a lot this isn't easy for me. Would it make me crazy if I was scared of him? I mean Lucifer, he's dangerous.”

“ Of course, he’s fucking dangerous he's the devil who cares?”

“What?”

“You're not the only human who's in on the secret Chloe but you are the only one who reacted like this. I've known for way longer than you and I've never been scared and it's not because I'm blind to the fact that he could hurt me or others. I'm not scared because he's never given me a reason to be. I know he won't hurt me because all he's ever done is protect me and you for that matter. He's powerful but I know he would never hurt an innocent person. Being scared of him might not make you crazy but it definitely makes you weak.”

All she does is stare and stutter as tears start to build up in her eyes. 

“Listen you need to get your shit together or break it off. Pretending that you care while you won't let Trixie see Maze and jump when Lucifer touches you is just sick. Make a decision or I’ll make it for you.”

You weren't waiting on a response so you just walked off and got in your car you had nothing else to say to Chole Decker. Plus there was someone who needed your attention back at Lux. When you get there the first person you see is Maze whose apparently been looking for you. 

“Where’ve you been all night your missing the party.”

 “Oh you know just out I had to make a stop off on my way here.”

 “Oh?” She looked mildly interested hoping it was something exciting. 

 “Yeah, nothing interesting I just had to talk to someone. Don't worry about that where’s Lucifer?” 

“He's upstairs sulking that's all he does these days.” She’s annoyed she and lucifer are dealing with Chole’s bullshit very differently, she doesn't understand him. You head upstairs and there he is, sitting at the piano playing some melancholy tune you don't recognize. You pour a drink for the both of you and set his down on the piano. You sit with him listening as the song flows out from the piano. You lean your head on his shoulder when the song ends and slide his drink just a bit closer to him. 

“Drink, Luci?”

 “Thank you.”

“You look a mess.”

“Why thank you Y/N as charming as ever.”

“Seriously though I know things have been rough lately but playing sad piano in the dark and not changing your clothes for days will not help. I'm not saying you have to go party I’m not even saying you have to leave your room. I’m just saying maybe take a shower.” He's about to say something stupid to get you off his back. “Listen if you shower ill do everything else, get you ready for bed, comb your hair, I’ll even pick out your suit for tomorrow, ok just shower you smell.”

He doesn't even say anything, just gets up and heads towards the bedroom slowly stripping. 

In his closet, you go through his wardrobe and pick out a suit for him. But not just any suit, it was your favorite. Something about Lucifer in this was just top-notch. When you're done with that you get everything ready for bed 

You sit at the edge of his bed waiting. You scroll through Twitter, TikTok, and then Tumblr. You were pretty sure he was just standing under the water but that’s ok 

When he comes out he’s wearing just a pair of skin-tight black boxers. He collapses into bed beside you. You move so you’re sitting next to his head and run your fingers through his hair.

“I bet that feels better.”

“Thank you.” He says as he moves his head to rest on your lap. 

“Oh don't get all mushy on me, Luci.”

“No I’m serious, Thank you.” 

“Whatever.” You run your fingers through his hair and scratch his head till he goes to sleep. You usually only slept over at the penthouse when Lucifer thought you weren’t able to get home safely. But you didn’t feel like going home today, not when you had Lucifer on your lap snoring softly plus it was like two in the morning. So you shifted around getting comfortable and Lucifer just followed your body heat while grumbling. 

When you wake up again it’s to a phone call from your best friend and roommate. You immediately realize your mistake. You get out of bed as quickly as possible without waking Lucifer. You answer the phone on the other.

“Before you start I'm sorry I didn't mean to sleep over or to fall asleep without checking in.”

“Mhm hmm, you always say the same thing I figured you were with him so I texted maze and she confirmed. That's not why I called.”

“Oh ok, what's up then?”

“You tell me I thought you said you weren't going to sleep over there anymore because it made you feel like you two were closer than you are.”

“I know what I said It's just he was so sad and I couldn't leave him like that.”

“Y/n-”

“Don't! I know what you're going to say ‘it's not my job to take care of him, especially not when it comes at the cost of my peace. But I'm not at peace when he's sad, I just want so desperately for him to be happy.” There's a beat of silence as you think. “I could let him go if that's what it took but she treats him like shit. I know I probably just sound like some jealous idiot but he spends so much time worrying about if she'll turn her back on him and he deserves so much more than that.”

“I understand just remember to take care of yourself too. And text me when you're not coming home asshole.” You laugh for a moment thankful for the change in conversation. 

“Again I'm sorry and I will next time I promise. I'll see you later.” You say your goodbyes and hang up.

You take a couple of deep breaths before heading back upstairs to find Lucifer awake in bed.

“Where did you run off to?” He asks just as you step into the bedroom. 

“Just downstairs I had to take a call and I didn't want to wake you.” You sit at the end of the bed. “Anyway, what do you want to do today? We could be responsible adults and do something productive or we could get high out if our minds order food and watch Alice in Wonderland.” You start smirking before you even finish the sentence knowing exactly which option he's going to choose.

After the first blunt, you were starting to feel it and words started falling out of your mouth.

“You know that I care about you right? You, Maze, and Ash are all I have all I've ever had.” You don’t know why you asked him that because you didn't even let him answer you just started the movie you pulled up before. 

You honestly don't remember watching the movie. It felt like you blinked and then the credits were rolling. It didn't matter though you and Lucifer had split two blunts and you felt amazing. At some point, Maze showed up and she and Lucifer continued to smoke long after you had tapped out. The day was blissful for obvious reasons you even remembered to text your roommate before you passed out on the couch. 

~~~~

You guessed that something changed between Chole and Lucifer because he was back to going on cases with her. You hoped that she finally pulled her head out of her ass but you for some reason doubted that. You had gotten out of work early and just went back to your apartment to hang with your roommate. You guys had started a show together about a week ago and then you both got super busy. You had gotten through a couple of episodes when you got an SOS from Maze. Chole had fucked up big this time though you couldn’t imagine what could possibly be worse than the way she had already been acting. Nothing could have prepared you for what you found out.

He didn't even yell, he just explained what happened while sipping on his drink. You could tell he was a few drinks in and he looked a mess. You could see why though. Chole had been going behind his back working with a priest if you could even call him that. She had intended on banishing Lucifer back to hell. The betrayal was truly unbelievable. You didn’t know you had to comfort what could you say that could ease that kind of pain? You guessed you would just love him through it. Through all of it. 

Eventually, Lucifer gets bored of drinking and just goes to bed you didn’t want to leave so you just go sleep on the couch. The next morning you woke up and made Lucifer breakfast in bed you just wanted to remind him that he was deserving of love. He had barely spoken since he woke but just as he finishes eating he asks you a question. 

“Why did you stay?”

“What do you mean?”

“After you saw my face.”

“I don't know I guess I've spent my whole life alone and empty. When we met I felt that for the first time in my life I wasn't alone. So losing that over you being exactly who you said you were just felt stupid.”

“But what about me makes you feel that way? Why me?”

“I don’t know Luci, does it matter? All I know is that you make me feel warm and safe.”

“I make you feel safe?”

“I mean yeah are you surprised all you've done since we met is take care of me and encourage me to do the same for myself?”

He just stares at you sort of shellshocked which is so confusing to you because what did he think was happening here? Did he genuinely think that this entire time you were scared of him deep down? How could he think that? How could you be scared of this man you loved him with every fiber of your being. The thought brought you so much pain you just pulled him closer from where he was sitting on the bed. He was basically sitting in your lap now and you held him tight to your chest and he curled up to you.

You lean down and kiss the top of his head. You get that feeling that you sometimes get when you are with him. A strange sense of deja vu like you've done this before comforted him, held him close, kissed him. Sometimes you get these flashes almost like memories but they always disappear before you can fully understand what they are. You always just hold Lucifer a little tighter in those moments. 

At some point, Lucifer crawls out of your lap and puts on a random movie for the two of you to watch. Neither of you is really paying attention though. You feel his eyes on you for a while before you say anything. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He doesn’t say anything, he looks at you and makes eye contact before slowly leaning in. After a moment of thought, you lean in too. The kiss isn’t much just a soft press of lips but the feeling that runs through you forcing a gasp from your lips.

Memories flood into your mind so quickly that you can’t even decipher them. Tears start to flow from your eyes. Lucifer is stunned and confused but then shock falls over his face and calls your name. 

“You… you have wings.” You just stare at him as you try to sort through the memories. It seems that Lucifer’s memory begins to come back as well. 

He reaches out to cup you’re face and runs his thumb over your cheek. His old name falls off your lips “Samael.” The name makes him uncomfortable and he expresses that much to you asking you to just call him Lucifer. You lean in again and kiss his cheek and whisper “Of course, my love.” This immediately brings back the tenderness of the moment. 

The memories of before wrap around you like a warm well-loved blanket. All you want is to be as close to him as possible. All the centuries spent apart so cold and alone you just needed to keep him close. You pull him into another kiss and your wings wrap around him pulling him as close as possible. He chuckled “Missed me did you?” He said it as a joke but you knew he wanted a real answer. 

“Every day Lucifer. Every day even when I couldn’t remember.”