#I wish my brain was a little less feast or famine when it came to writing b/c idk what's worse -- tediously spending months | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vaguely-concerned · 6 days ago

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I've written 5000 words of lucanis and rye fic the last two days and the only reason the wip isn't even longer yet is probably that my brain turns into useless ash and blows away for the day once it's channeled the lightning bolt of writing energy for a couple of hours and needs to sleep before it can stand up to another onslaught.

#god help me experience suggests nothing else can #in a move every single person who's ever read anything I've written could predict it's literally just 5k and more to come I'm afraid #of two people talking (and at least one person crying) a bit of internal monologue and also some jokes lmao #under my particular sun at least there's never anything new. I know what I'm about and I'm always about it #I wish my brain was a little less feast or famine when it came to writing b/c idk what's worse -- tediously spending months #trying to connect mostly finished paragraphs and scenes at a snail's pace. the fucking GRIND to get to the finish line #or trying to keep up with the torrents of words suddenly being forced directly into my brain and vibrating all my neurons #at a dolphin-bothering pitch that can carry no other signal. trying to keep up with yourself when it suddenly starts pouring in #is so fucking stressful fhsdkj. you never fucking know when it'll run dry and leave you to either abandon a wip #or get started on the long slow teeth-clenched grinding phase is the thing. I've got abandonment issues from my own creative drive #(or capacity really. I always have drive I only in rare glittering moments have capacity. awful combination would not recommend)#please please please brain don't let me down on this one I would like to see it done and in less time than two fucking years #also I realized in writing this I genuinely forget that rye is technically my oc he has such a clear voice in my head #gotta hand this one to bioware they made rook such a little guy. he's literally some guy sometimes I just get to decide what he says a bit #I'm like... his agent or something #dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #well mostly it's me traumadumping about my writing process but for archival purposes lol #humming with both creativity and boundless frustration like a live wire. the me experience (two stars. some potential but also. ugh)

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