#I will never get over ittttt I can never cope

[han-ging]

First time I listened to Ultraviolence I was 14 years old. It was mid July and I was in the back of Syds mom’s car on our way up north. Back when summers dragged on, I had no place to be, and my heart was still tender.

I played the album on repeat for the entirety of the 4 hour drive. It was the first time I was transported to the place that felt so comfortable for me. It’s a place that moves slow, almost in frames like a camera would capture. Everything is beautiful and yet still everything hurts, in the best way. It makes me feel small, like I could be crushed in someone’s hand, but I’m still the main attraction. I’m everyone’s muse, but I’m humbled by grace.

It’s a world where crying is the prettiest thing you can do and the secrets you keep gently unravel like the bows in your hair at the end of the day. Where he holds you in the backseat and you become addicted to his kisses, maybe because they taste like cigarettes or maybe cause you never know if it’s going to be the last one.

It’s running down a hill, curly hair & cardigan getting caught in the wind behind you. Suddenly your head over heels and you begin to fall deeply, onto the ground. Grass stains and cuts on your knees, it hurts so badly. When you think back your memory plays with you and you only remember the thrill of being swept off your feet.

10 years later and the album is still on repeat but my life looks so different now. I’ve loved and I’ve lost more than I ever thought imaginable, how fortunate am I. I’ve grown into a brand new person, the person i thought I always wanted to be but i feel all the same. Some feelings never go away. I’m taken to the same place, it’s gut wrenching and heart healing, a confusing feeling that feels just right to me.

When these feelings begin to slip as time tries to push them away, I force them back into my life with the sounds of Brooklyn Baby & Old Money. The comfortability in the longing out weighs the growth time and time again.

Anyway, not sure if this is about the album or my life or the feelings that linger. Regardless, I feel so lucky to have this album. Cause even though time has passed and I’ve learned to cope with loneliness, for a brief moment i remember what it’s like to feel so deeply again.

P.s. If you don’t get it then forget it cause I don’t have to fuckinggg exxxplainnnn ittttt.

[bmwiid]

I've been considering writing regency romance for ages, and one thing I can never decide is whether to use more modern language/turns of phrase or try to make it more Jane-Austeny style. (e.g. contractions: "It's too late, she's gone" vs "It is too late, she has gone.")

I have an answer for this!

So! I read a lot of regency because it’s like, the best romance genre. I read three types:

1: Austin and Heyer - these are your technical queens, reading Georgette Heyer will improve your Regency lingo like NOTHING ELSE, she is IMO, the greatest Regency author of all time. Heyer keeps it proper, Austin keeps it readable. Read both. Also if you can stand the fact that it’s unfinished, read Gaskells Wives and Daughters. 

2: Modern sexy-times - Stephanie Laurens and Julia Quinn. These are modern women writing in this genre and they are more story driven, less about the ‘proper’ way of things and more likely to be readable to modern women. ie: Heyers men can be sexist / overpowered because like... men were back then? They also use more modern writing styles because thats how we write now. Def more modern women, they’ve got more spunk and more ‘modern’ attitudes to events than the classics. 

3: Mills and Boon / Harlequin Romances / Bodice Rippers - you know the type. Gimmie that costume porn, basically. They write either OTT proper or modern sass and both are amazing and readable and....

My point is... what do you want to write? I’m going for a modern take on the genre. I’ve got a modern heroine and a non-asshole of a dude. They have conversations that you don’t see in Austin or Gaskell. My first book is all married sex but book 2 sure as hell aint - UNHEARD OF FOR HAYER. I’m trying to keep my ‘spoken’ parts as formal as possible in FORMAL situations and slightly less rigid over breakfast and between friends:

“My father would never have thought to inform me of such matters, My Lord”

vs

“Shut up, Robert, you’ve never been anything but a pain in my hide,” Jon laughed, dodging the book his friend tossed at his head with an indignant snort.

So what it comes down to is this: just like nowadays, keep the formal language for the formal conversations and for when your characters are not sure how to act, and the informal language for friends and comfortable situations. oldtimey people also code-switched.

If you’ve seen the Kira Knightly P&P, see how Lizzie acts when she’s with Jane vs how she acts with Lady Catherine. 

Also, READ READ READ. You’ll pick up slang and ‘on-dits’ and know when to call someone a ‘cit’ or a ‘toady’ and you’ll know why your hero doesn’t want a pair of highsteppers from Tattersalls, or why your heroine is laughing behind her hand when she sees some young buck trying to flirt with the latest Diamond of the ton....

Book recs: 

The Toll Gate by Heyer - this is my FAVE book of hers, her hero is a giant dork who legit falls head over heels over his lady the instant he sees her. It’s also got a really good mystery plot which is nice too. 

These Old Shades and The Devils Cub by Heyer - I personally don’t rate Shades but it’s about the DAD from Devils Cub which I have read at least 20 times, and it’s also based more in France which might be good for you to get that powdered wig goodness, which you don’t really get in Regency. Cub is just... wanna see a fucking asshole of a dude get shot by a girl? wanna see him get fucking twisted up in love and not know how to cope? reeeead ittttt.

P&P and Persuasion - Austin. Of course you’ve read them, but like, read them again just because. I’ve read P&P so many times I can quote it, but sometimes I think I like Persuasion more because I just.... that sexual tension.... 

Stephaine Laurens writes about the same Family - so Start with Devils Bride. The later ones I’m not so hooked on and there are a couple of ... naaaaah moments at some points, but they are good if you don’t expect Heyers level of amazing.

Julia Quinn also writes about interweaving characters and some are really great - you can pretty much pick any of hers up and start reading, but I like ‘How To Marry a Marquis’ just because it’s almost like ‘girl reads a cosmo article on how to snag a hubby’

ANY purple (these are the ‘historical romances’) mills and boon - time to get to the charity shops and get to buying them for 50p. 

once you read these, you’ll see that HOW you write isn’t as important as WHAT you write and it’ll all just... come together. Don’t fall into a trap of thinking you can’t have a character say - ‘well shit’ or have a lady tell someone she can’t be bothered. write it. then later, if it’s too jarring or you spy someone saying ‘oh, worm’, edit it out for something more appropriate. 

but the important thing.... is to write it.