#I will claw my way into getting treatment bc goddammit I’m so fucking close to answers
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I Would Like For Things To Stop Happening For A Single Fucking Second.
#personal#vent#realized i never shared this on my main tumblr blog so here we go#bro the reality that I likely have hypermobility eds AND pots???? Bro why is my insurance SO SLOW. My body is so weak in this heat#the fact that I was gaslit a majority of my life into believing I was lazy or faking my symptoms?????#the fact that this ‘laziness’ was an excuse to be beaten?#By my father???? Broo you fucking SUUUUUCK#My anger keeps coming at me in waves#if my new pcp didn’t refer to my rheumatologist I would’ve just continued taking it. I was never crazy after all. People were simply cruel.#I will claw my way into getting treatment bc goddammit I’m so fucking close to answers#Teachers and grown ass adults who should’ve known better just saw me pass out get headaches all the time as well treated me like a liar#GOD DAMN IT. It runs so deep looking at my life as I learn more about these conditions and realize just how devoid of empathy so many were#it IS hard to process#It’s tough realizing the depth of what I’ve been going through#but now I at least know I’m not crazy. and that something is DEFINITELY up with my body (even if I don’t get those official diagnoses).#I WILL be okay though. I haven’t made it this far just to fall to ruin now.#and at least the professionals I’m currently seeing are doing their due diligence and taking my concerns seriously#I Will Make Damn Sure I Know What’s Going On With My Body No Matter What.
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