#I will be printing and hanging it on the wall next to my other tk photo

[maxbegone]

His back hurts from the plane and his eyes are dry when he walks through the sliding doors at arrivals, more than ready to take a long nap in his own bed. He has some time before that happens, though — he needs to call an Uber.

Maybe he’ll swing by the firehouse and see everyone, ask his dad to borrow his car so he doesn’t have to call for another ride. Or he could wait until Carlos gets off work…six hours from now.

Yeah no, never mind. He’s just going to go home.

TK’s sliding his phone out of his pocket when he catches sight of the man standing twenty feet away, one hand in his pocket as he waves with the other.

“Oh my god.”

He all but careens into Carlos’ arms, hugging him as tightly as possible.

“I missed you,” he breathes as Carlos presses a kiss to his neck. He’s aware of how pathetic he sounds, but he just doesn’t care. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a shift.”

“I switched. I’m doing Mitchell’s overnight next week.”

TK makes a noise in the back of his throat and kisses him. “Can we go home, please?” He pouts and Carlos swings an arm around his shoulders in response, guiding him out of the airport.

When they get home, Carlos takes his bag, presses a kiss to the shell of his ear and says, “Go shower, I’ll unpack.”

As much as TK wants to drag him along, he needs to take the longest, hottest shower of his life, and he’s certain his boyfriend would leave halfway through.

He reemerges almost an hour later to find Carlos waiting for him with dinner on the table and open arms. He sinks into him with a hefty sigh, eyes closed.

“Doing okay?”

“It was so hard leaving,” TK admits against the soft fabric of Carlos’ shirt, but this is already a conversation they had. “Harder leaving Jonah.”

“I’m sure.”

“But Enzo’s already planning a trip down here in a few months, so at least I’ll see them both again soon.”

“You will,” Carlos says as they take a seat. “You heading back to work tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I don’t think taking any more time off will do me good.” He pauses, taking a bite. “I’m getting antsy.”

“Are you working Saturday?” He asks, his fork raised to his lips, and TK shakes his head.

“No. Why, what’s Saturday?”

“My parents invited us up to the ranch if you’re up for it.”

“I’d love to.”

“Think your dad would wanna come, too?”

“He’s working that day,” TK says, “so you’re stuck with me.”

“I always wanna be stuck with you,” Carlos replies with a smirk, and TK blushes as he finds his leg under the table with his foot.

It isn’t until they’re doing the dishes that TK notices the two new additions to the wall by their bedroom; one of the prints he’d sent home from New York that belonged to his mother is hanging on the wall to the right of their desk, another on the one behind it, over the shelf.

“Baby,” TK starts wetly. He brings his hand up to cover his mouth and turns back to Carlos. “Did you really do that?”

“I did,” he says, and TK’s already halfway across the room to look at them. “There’s also that over there.”

He follows where Carlos is pointing at the console pushed up against the wall in the living room and sees a wooden frame positioned diagonally from the one displaying the two of them. The photo inside is of him and his mom from a day he can’t exactly place, but they’re mid-laughter.

“I know you can’t go back to her anymore,” he hears Carlos say from behind him, “but that doesn’t mean she can’t be here with you.”

He tilts his head slowly. “You’re something else, you know that?”

“I take it you’re okay with it?”

“I’m more than okay with it, Carlos. Thank you.”

[yamithediaperdork]

Cry baby and Pee pants, part 1 (Digimon)

Matt cussed loud and long as he searched though his locker and the dressing room for the 5th time. The young blond had been trying out for a band, hoping to launch his music carer after more or less calling it quits as a digi destined, after barely keeping Tokyo from being blown up by a rouge digimon. This was actually his 6th audition, his young age and well, not exactly stellar skills on the guitar meant that he was told thanks for trying out, but he wasn't right for any of the bands till now. The leaping lizards had gushed over the raw talent being there, and had welcomed him on board, even pouring him a couple drinks of sake despite him being underage to celebrate. The last thing Matt recalled before waking up five hours later was them laughing at how stupid he was and.. Giving up the search, he had to finally admit the truth. they hadn't ever been serious about their offer to join the band and had just wanted to steal his guitar, a newer model and worth at least 300 bucks even being pawned. 'I suppose I should feel lucky I woke up with both kidneys.' Matt thought to himself. 'But how the fuck am I suppose to try out for the lone wolfs in two days with no instrument?' There was NO way he'd be able to get his parents to get him anther guitar, he'd had to basically break out the water works and plead on his knees for a month to get the last one. His antics had earned him the nick name of cry baby around both his dad's house and his mom's, and TK still wasn't letting it go and would ask if baby wanted his ba-ba. That left asking the others for a few loans, and most of them weren't too pleased he'd given up the hero game for fortune. Joe was blowing all his money on his studies anyways, Izzy on computer junk.. Sora and Mimi had been giving him the cold shoulder and he knew neither Kari nor TK would have the cash. '...I wonder if Tai's still hella gay?' Matt though, a Cheshire grin coming across his face. the always needy boy kisser had been good for getting a few video games before and junk, it was like 20 minutes of gay stuff like smooching and cuddling and then a little shopping spree AND Tai had just come into a fat wad of cash after a uncle that adored him had left him a big hefty inheritance. 'I can gay out for like, a hour for this.' Matt thought and getting his bag (and of course finding his wallet dry) he headed towards home, thinking about getting a even better guitar then before.

Tai was shocked when Matt called him the next morning, asking if he could meet up. After Matt had ditched the team only Tai and TK made any real efforts to hang with him, and TK only because they were brothers. In truth Izzy was giving Tai a hard time about it, but since Izzy was being a little bitch about a lot of things lately Tai just ignored his on and off again boyfriend. 'I mean, I was willing to get him that new computer he wanted and he couldn't rock a pamper butt for me? RUDE!' Tai thought and huffed. It was Tai's new fetish, and one he'd discovered by mistake when googling more on that Willis kid and finding out the little cutie had a website set up to show him modeling in diapers. Naturally seeing that Tai had begged and pleaded with Izzy to try out diapers but apparently Izzy had been a late bloomer and had only recently gotten out of daytime diapers before their whole adventure started. Naturally this had only made Tai wanna diaper him more, but again, Izzy was being a little pecker head about it. (at least from Tai's point of view.) 'heh. if Matt is expecting a little shopping spree today..he's in for a surprise. the boy is gonna earn it.' Tai thought, and went and checked on the supplies he kept under his bed on the off chance he lucked into a diaper boy. there they were, 2 packs of the diaper brand Willis recommended on his site, nice and thick, and a few onesies along with a changing pad and pacifiers and a baby bottle. 'Oh yeah..come onnn Matt..be desperate for money~'

Matt made sure to wear a nice tight sleeveless top and a pair of tight jeans (So tight he'd needed TK's help getting into them.) and made sure to spike his hair just the way that Tai liked it. TK wasn't dumb though, and knew what Matt was doing. "Looking good for your sugar daddy Cry baby." He teased and winked. "Your lucky Tai's expecting me, or I'd give you the noogie to end all noogies." Matt said, raising a eyebrow. it was just the two of them at their mothers apartment at the moment and TK used to know better then to push his luck when it was just them. "Mmhhhhmm.. your dadddy calls and cry baby Matt comes running. maybe HE'S gonna give ya yer ba-ba~" TK giggled. the giggles died off as TK saw the look on Matt's face, and when their mom would get back she'd find TK hanging by his undies from a nail on the wall. "...pushed cry baby too far again huh?" she asked, smirking and taking off her jacket. "Y-Yeah..uh..a little help?"TK squeaked. "Righttt after I put the groceries away.. think of this as time to reflect on watching your mouth." mom said and walked away. "B-But my undies are so far up my crack i can taste themmm!" TK whined. "then I don't need to worry about lunch." came the reply. "...Funny fucker aren't you." TK huffed under his breath, crossing his arms. "I hear that!"

Making his way to Tai's Matt got more then a few looks from both guys and girls, and likewise, a few wolf whistles. He ignored them for the most part, but had a smirk on his face knowing just how sexy he looked and soon was knocking on Tai's door. Tai gave him a once over as he opened the door and Matt smirked, he was almost drooling. "So, Like what you see?" Matt asked, and flexed a arm. "heh, Oh yeah. so gonna stand out there and look hot, or come inside and tell me what you want?" Tai asked, standing aside and gesturing into the apartment. "Don' worry, Kari had a school thing out of town and mom and dad are with her.I have you allll to myself." Tai added, slapping Matt's ass as he walked past, making Matt yelp and blush. Still, Matt knew what was expected of him for the most part and just flashed Tai a grin and blew a kiss. 'fucking bastard! he knows i hate spanking stuff!' Matt fumed. Matt went to sit down on the couch by Tai had closed the door and taken a seat in a arm chair, then patted his lap. '..He's totally getting me the latest guitar if he keeps this shit up.' Matt fumed, but walked over and sat on Tai's lap,putting his arms around the bigger boy. Matt might of been taller, but with all the sports that Tai played he had a bulked up look and was pound for pound much stronger. "So, You normally only get THIS dressed up if you want something, so what's my little Mattie need?" Tai asked, cradling Matt in a way that Matt recognized as using back when TK was toddler. "I..I uh..I have a band audition coming up..but some jerk's stole my guitar..and um.." Matt swallowed and then batted his eyes at Tai. "I was wondering, hoping if maybe you'd get me a new one.I've been practicing my kissing and we can cuddle and stuff for like, 2 hours even!" "heh. Well that IS a tempting offer. doubly so when your cute ass is in my lap. but I have a boyfriend if I just wanted to make out with a cutie. and Izzy is willing to go all the way." Tai chuckled. "O-Oh..but..I uh..I'm not..you...know..I'm.." Matt stammered. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you suck dick or take it up the poop chute. and I WILL get you whatever kinda guitar you want for your silly little audition which by the way is when?" Tai asked, kissing Matt's forehead and making alarm bells go off in the blond mind. "I-It's tomorrow at 3 pm sharp. And..what do you want then?" Matt asked, a nervous twitch to his voice. "Oh nothing too much. something really easy actually." Tai said and smiled. 'Bullshit' Matt thought but kept the smile on his face. "and that is?..." "For every say.. 20 dollars I spend on your little guitar I get one hour with you being my darling little diaper boy." "..What?!"

Tai smirked as he got ready to put Matt back into padding. the blond was looking huffy as fuck, but was keeping his mouth shut all the same, likely trying not to blow his semi good deal. Tai of course fully understood WHY Matt wouldn't be happy with the deal, but couldn't help but tease the impending little uy a little bit. "Awww come on widdle Mattie, can't you give daddy a smile? Your making daddy think you don't wanna do our widdle deal." He he teased, reaching over and tickling mat''s chin while the blond sat cross legged next to him. "...Your a sick man, you know that?" Matt asked, but he was grinning all the same, though whether it was from the chin tickles or humoring him Tai couldn't be sure. "Flattery will get you everywhere." Tai said with a wink, and as he finished getting the changing pad (with a adorable teddy bear print) set up and the changing supplies ready, he looked over Matt's jeans as he tugged out 3 of the thick puffy diapers. "So, are gonna be able to get out of those by yourself? they almost look spray painted on." Tai asked. "I can totally undress myself!" Matt huffed and stood up, unbuttoning the jeans and sliding his thumbs into the belt loops and tugging. And tugging some more. and then more tugging as they didn't budge. "You were saying?" Tai asked, in a clearly delighted tone. "..Shut up and help me get these things off." Matt huffed.

Matt was crimson after they FINALLY got his jeans off, partly due to the fact it had taken 10 minutes of effort, and well, needing Tai's help to undress. Not helping matters was the fact that Matt had chosen to go commando and well, liked to keep it shaved down there. "Awww somebody was a good boy and knew what was coming and saved daddy some time!" Tai teased. 'oh shut the fuck up!' Matt thought. "Yeah, let's go with that." was his sulky reply. Tai had oddly grabbed a razor blade all the same and cut silts in the back and front of two of the three massive diapers he was planing on putting on Matt, making the blond give his impending 'daddy' a weird look. "It's so when you go tinkle, the wetness is shared and you can go longer in your diapies. Same for when you go boom boom." Tai said cheerfully. THAT had caused the blush to leave Matt's face, at least for a little bit as he paled. "W-Wait.. you mean..you want me to.. uh.. go.." Matt stammered, and the blush returned as he struggled to say the words, then hissed and blew a raspberry. "in my diapers!?!" "..Ok that was hella cute. and Yup, I'm even gonna be nice and let you use them all on your own for today, though if I don't like the results I'm seeing I'll be sure to get you some potty med's to help." Tai said and winked, then patting the changing mat. "come on Little guy, let's get your diapies on and then you can sit in daddies lap while we order you a guitar so you can make music for daddy." "But..I thought we were going and getting one today!" Matt whined. "Oh, does somebody wanna go out shopping in his diapers? So bold!" Tai teased. "NO! I just..uh.." mental images of Matt waddling around in the big bulky diapers, holding Tai's hand and sucking his thumb flooded his mind and he started to squirm lots even as he laid down on the changing pad. "Don't worry. I'll pay for rush delivery. if we get it in town it'll be here by this afternoon. Maybe I'll let my little exhibitionist answer the door." Tai teased, and grabbed the first diaper. '...I could really go for anther glass of sake right now.' Matt thought and lifted up his butt like a good boy.

Back at the apartment TK was having pain fueled day dreams of all the times his undies hadn't of been lodged up his crack and wished his mom would hurry up and come and get him down. Not helping the whole situation was the fact that he had a growing bladder issue and any attempt's to shift around and relive the pressure there only made the undies ride up more. His mom had gone from putting things away to excuse herself to the bathroom, an like she was the worlds greatest comedian she'd told him not to move, and to hang in there. TK had wisely kept his opinions of her humor to himself as he had a sneaking suspicion that his earlier comments had helped extend his wedgie time. Still as the need to tinkle grew more and more TK couldn't keep quiet. "MOMMY! I hafa go pee! if you don't wanna clean up a puddle you needa get me down NOW!" He called. the bathroom door opened and Nancy walked out, smirking. "Why didn't you say something sooner wedgie boy?" she asked, taping a finger on his nose. "...You were just waiting in there!?!" TK shouted and huffed, crossing his arms and glaring. Sadly as his attention was focused on his mom and being mad at her, it was diverted from where it needed to be. "Well you were being a little brat an-" She started, then looked down as a hissing noise was heard and looked at the growing wet patch on the front of TK's undies, and the puddle that was starting to form on the floor. "Really?" "T-This is your fault!" TK huffed even as she grabbed him under the arms and lifted him down, though holding him away from her so she didn't get any pee on her. The flow was weakling and stopping as she got him on his feet, turning him so he could add to the puddle while not standing in it since he was in socks. (not that they weren't already wet) "Mhmm.. Well go and finish in the bathroom and clean up." She said, rolling her eyes then noticed a super guilty look on TK's face. "The..flow DID stop because you got it under control right?" She asked, a smirk tugging on her face. "Er..well..see.." TK said, rubbing the back of his head and chuckling nervously. "Go grab a shower pee pants, and meet mommy in your room. you know the rule for pant's wetters in this house." She said and turned away to go and get the mop and bucket as TK whined. "MOOOM! NOT THE PULL UPS!"

Back at Tai's and Matt was powdered and tapped in his triple thick white diapers, and squirming like crazy as he looked at himself in the mirror. Tai had tugged off his shirt so at the moment Matt was JUST in his white socks and white diapers, and he couldn't even close his legs! and as bad as it looked from the front, once he turned around and looked over his shoulder it was WAY worse in the back! He hadn't of even been able to get to his feet without Tai's help (well, he was gonna use Tai's bed to pull himself up but Tai had insisted daddy was here to help) and to say he was waddling was a massive understatement. "So what do you think little guy?" Tai asked, coming up behind him and making Matt look front ward in the mirror again, kissing Matt's cheek as he patted Matt's fat diapered bottom. "...I feel like I'm gonna knock lamps off of end tables, and there should be a beeping noise when i back up!" Matt whined. "heh, cute idea. I'll see what i can rig up for your next diaper day with daddy." Tai chuckled and kissed Matt's cheek. 'I need to stop giving him ideas.' Matt mentally groaned. "Can I at least put my shirt back on or something? or you have some shorts I can put over these? I wanna try and cover the diapers up!" Matt whined. "oh, You're just in luck little guy! Daddy DOES have something to go over your adorable huggies." Tai said. The old familiar warning bells were going off in Matt's head as Tai went and reached under the bed, and pulled out two onesie's, or as Matt called them, diaper shirts. One was light blue with a yellow trim on the sleeves, neck and leg hole, and had a yellow star on the front, that had a smiling face and said 'daddies little star' under it in yellow text. the second one was a white one with a dinosaur print all over it, and Matt fought the urge to facepalm. 'I really need to start watching my goddamn mouth.' he thought. "So buddy, what do you thin? wanna be my widdle star, or a dino boy?" Tai asked. "Gee, they're BOTH so tempting." Matt said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. If Tai noticed though he didn't show it and just nodded instead. "You're right, I'll pick for you." '...REALLY need to just keep my effing mouth shut!'

In the end Tai went with the little star onesie, though he'd over estimated just how thick he could go and still use them as it was a bit of a fight to get the crotch snaps to close. "I think after we get you your little guitar, we'll go shopping and get more cute outfits for my widdle musician." Tai said. He could tell Matt was less then pleased, but the boy forced a smile on his face and nodded. "whatever you want ta-" he started to say. "ah ah ah, when your butt is in diapers, it's DADDY. Got it?" Tai said, wagging a finger and smirking. "..Yeah OK." Matt replied, rolling his eyes. "yeah OK what?" Tai questioned, the grin getting bigger. "...Yeah OK daddy." Matt said, smiling but clenching his teeth. Tugging Matt over/ helping the padded cutie keep his balance, Tai sat down in his big comfy computer chair and tugged Matt into his lap, giving the big baby's neck a kiss. "Now did you have a certain store in mind, or just want me to google and shop around?" Tai asked.

[whatshockey]

if you ever want to be in love - n.p.

in which a girl who vowed to never fall for her best friend did exactly that

song used for inspiration: “if you ever want to be in love” by james bay

warnings: mentions of alcohol. a bit of cursing towards the end. a bit angsty?

word count: 4,093 

a/n: this is my first time ever writing something so please help me out lol i’m sorry it’s so long

She found home in another set of arms, stretched and surrounding her in familiarity and comfort she had yet to find in the foreign city. Cold fingers danced along her spine, somehow managing to leave her skin scorching, and she wondered if he could also hear how loud and fast her heart was pulsing his name.

The touches were innocent, alongside the gazes she shared with eyes that mirrored the color of the lake where the two spent past summers together. She never dared to sneak glances at the lips that mocked and called her by her childhood nickname, or risk being caught indulging in a daydream starring him in the lead role. No matter how strong her emotions grew for the boy whose torso laid pressed up against her, she continued to sweep them under the rug and attend these friendly playdates that left her stomach uneasy. And the various junk food splattered on the coffee table before them had very little to do with it.

No one warned her about how easy it was to fall for your best friend, but at the same time it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that it would happen, especially when your best friend is as attractive as her’s. The same one that made her cry when he broke her green crayon in kindergarten, and the same one who got in a fist fight in the seventh grade after one of the older boys spread rumors about her. He’d seen her when she had lost her first tooth and when she finally got her braces off and could properly smile at one of his cheesy jokes. She’d seen his face twist when he broke his hand for the first time and he’d held her‘s when she was stood up by the cute soccer player from the rival school. They’d been through it all, but now she wants all of him, and she couldn’t feel more embarrassed and selfish for that.

The movie in front of them flashed to the credits and he straightened to turn the TV off, only to notice she hadn’t realized the movie had ended and instead focused on picking at her nail polish. He brought his hand flat against her lower back and gently rubbed small circles, hoping to grant him her attention. When her eyes bolted to his with pupils floating in a cocktail of shock and confusion, his eyebrows furrowed in response.

“What’s up? Everything okay?”

Her head shook yes before he could finish his question, and even she knew that he could tell she was lying. But he wasn’t one to press.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She quickly replied, turning her head back to the monitor only to see the screen tinted black.

“Movie was that boring, eh?”

He nudged her jokingly, and she was suddenly aware of how warm she felt under it. Her cheeks warmed, the corners of her lips curled, and she could feel him still looking her with a burning stare. Itching to separate herself from him, she began to stretch and stand up, ignoring the clench in her gut as she did so.

“I get to pick next time.”

She found it easier to look back at him now, sending him a tight-lipped smile and occupied herself with packing her textbooks up. She caught him rolling his eyes with a small curl on his own lips as he watched her. He had promised to help her study for her exams in attempt to convince her to come over after his two week long roadtrip with the team, and she was glad he didn’t know how she wouldn’t have hesitated to see him in the first place. He handed her a folder overflowing with neat notes and printed papers, and at the sight someone might wonder how she managed to have time to sacrifice for a movie. She’d always make time for him.

Two days later she found herself cheering for her best friend in the company of what felt like the entire population of Philadelphia. She watched him toss a puck to a little girl who wore a matching jersey to his, and her mind drifted to the countless times she wore his last name on her back and he sent a puck her way. She could still feel his mother’s hands clasped in her own in close games, as well as his arms lifting her when she showed him an acceptance letter from the University of Pennsylvania, allowing them to continue to be with each other in every step of the way. It was only convenient that his dream of the NHL and her dream school had led both of them to the same city.

He had insisted that she stay in the family and friends suite, not knowing that she  felt far from it. Most, if not all, of the girls in there were in some sort of romantic relationship with one of his teammates. Regardless, she agreed to go, but only so she could see him smile in return. 

“You’re Nolan’s girlfriend, right?” were the words directed to her when she had first watched from the suite during his debut season.

“Uh no,” she stammered, chuckling a bit to cover up the fact that her heart threatening to jump out from behind her black sweater. “Just his friend.”

At first she wondered if they then thought she was just a random girl he’d casually been seeing, or if the looks she received afterwards were made out of pity. However, that became a phrase she had grown used to repeating even as she eventually grew closer to the girls. The two never stopped defending their relationship with each other and denying anything more, as it slowly became second nature once someone began making assumptions. But who could blame them? Through the various Instagram posts posing as each other’s dates to weddings and blogs gossiping about this so-called mystery girl, both their group of friends from back home and Philly were waiting for the day the two became official. 

“So you’re telling me you guys never hooked up?”

She rolled her eyes, letting out a dramatic sigh and took a large swig of the bitter liquor she held in her hand, gagging as the cool liquid rushed down her throat.

“No, Travis.”

He responded with a strangled noise, eyes blown wide and nearly choked on his bottle of beer. 

“Not even a kiss?”

The two remained tucked against a wall of the house party, with TK originally sauntering over with a “You need to relax!” in attempts to coerce her to join him and dance, just after two guys before him did the same.  

She lazily lifted her gaze from her plastic cup to the crowd swaying to the bass shaking the floor beneath them, and could briefly feel his muscular chest pressed against her back and his hands lingering on the swell of her hips. It had been the first weekend of their senior year in high school, and their friends and friends of friends had been packed into the basement of one of their classmate’s homes. The two hadn’t really spoken since their sophomore year, growing apart into different friend groups as he became more popular with the cheerleaders and she went away to be a camp counselor for the summer, the two becoming worse at responding to messages as the weather got warmer. But they had been drinking far too much that night, and their tolerance levels were significantly lower than they were now. And she could fill her shirts out more, and his shoulders only seemed to broaden. Yet the way he had snaked his arms around her waist and bent down to murmur a compliment on her new bodysuit that she asked his opinion on before purchasing resembled the confidence only a grown man could have. And she was falling harder than she thought was possible.

The duo had walked home together that night, with her in his hoodie and him holding her from falling over. Knowing her parents like his own, he avoided taking her home in such a state, and instead opted to tread to his house as his parents were away for the weekend.

He had just unlocked the door before hearing her gasp amongst, heightening the buzz of chirping crickets in the otherwise silent night air. 

“A shooting star!” she cried, excitedly pointing and feet bouncing like a young child. He went to shush her in attempts to keep their neighbors from waking up, but she pouted before he had the chance to.

“You missed it.”

He shook his head and chuckled, shutting the door behind him and moving to wrap his arms around her. 

“Wanna go to our spot?” 

And she agreed, allowing him to help her onto his roof just like he did so many times before. They had started this tradition in middle school when Nolan first began getting noticed for his athletic abilities, and would stay up there until curfew passed and her mother called his asking where she was.

“You don’t need to worry about me, Nol. I would’ve been fine,” she assured him, snuggling further into his chest when he told her he wanted to make sure she got home safe. “You could’ve finally brought home a girl tonight.” 

His hand squeezed her side, and she could feel him turn to look at her but she kept her eyes on the stars blanketing them.

“But I only want to hang out with you.”

She wish that were the case now, because her best friend stook out like a sore thumb in the midst of the house party. He could be seen across the room chatting up a girl with much smoother hair and a brighter smile than she ever could possess. Their lips hung dangerously close to each other, and his gaze raked over the girl’s body in a way she had never recognized before. She couldn’t shake the image of Nolan’s so close to her’s that night on the roof, as there was no telling how the story would’ve concluded had he not ended up holding her hair back as she threw up all of the contents in her stomach. If only she drank enough so that she couldn’t recall that night.

Turning back to Travis who held a flicker in his eye, knowing she spotted her best friend turning himself into a pair with yet another girl who was not her, she let out a sigh and grabbed his hand that remained outstretched.

“Does the offer still stand?”

Let’s do something Wednesday.

The text had been simple, and served as the only form of communication exchanged between them since they’d separated at the party over the weekend. Tucking her notebook under her arm, she sped out of the lecture hall, fumbling to type out a message, quickly pulling up her calendar to make sure she didn’t schedule her group project meeting that night. Her shoulders tensed as she felt an impact, her eyes leaving her screen to find an unfamiliar broad chest.

“Oops,” she piped, bending her knees to pick up her notebook she managed to drop in the process, yet the stranger had already beat her to it. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was my fault.” 

A deep voice, just not quite as deep as Nolan’s, enveloped her eardrums, and she found herself swimming in silk as his lips continued to move. 

“Wouldn’t want you to lose that.”  

His hand grazed her own as he handed her notebook back, touch lingering for a bit too long to make her feel comfortable, causing her cheeks to flush out of instinct.

She thanked him and he smiled with teeth bright and nearly perfect, holding the door open and leaving her to respond to her best friend who’d cause her phone to buzz a second time.

I’ll pick you up for lunch?

Sounds good she replied, shaking the feeling the boy had left her with as her best friend’s image clouded over her mind. 

Just two days later, she walked into the same lecture hall, earphones in and a black flyers hat resting on her head. Dropping her bag onto the space next to her, she rubbed her eyes as she impatiently waited for the lecture to begin, not bothering to take out her notes to follow along. Her project meeting had lasted for two more hours longer than intended, and no one seemed to agree on anything. And listening to her professional rattle on at 8:00am the following morning had been the last thing she wanted to do.

She could feel a presence next to her followed by a light tap on her shoulder, forcing her to irritably remove an earphone before turning around. She was greeted with a familiar smile, undoubtedly handsome and this time small dimples appearing to frame full lips. And the same silky voice who held the door open for her days before and spoken again.

“Is anyone sitting here?” 

She shook her head no, hastily moving her stuff away and struggled to suppress a yawn in the process, earning a chuckle from the stranger. 

“Long night I take it?”

This time she smiled back, adjusting the hat on her head and chewed on the inside of her cheek. 

“Yeah, absolutely.”

The boy kept a steady conversation throughout the lecture, hushed and calculated, but definitely caught her blushing more than once throughout their exchange. He held the door open yet again, this time walking out of the building with her to continue talking to her about the boring topic of today’s class discussion. Her eyes left his, know squinting from laughing at a joke they had shared together, and recognized the Jeep pulling around the corner. Before she could excuse herself, he asked for her number, offering to send her the mediocre notes he managed to scribble down than she had been too tired to take. She was charmed and agreed, taking his phone from his hands.

Bidding her new friend goodbye, she climbed into the passenger seat, earning a brisk greeting from the player driving. 

“Who was that?” 

He was referring to the new face she was with just a minute ago.

“Someone from class.”

She heard him grumble something, acknowledging that he heard her, but went unknowing what else had been going through his mind. After knowing him for so long, she could usually decipher exactly what he was feeling. This time his expression went unreadable. But before she could ask him that or how his morning practice went, he reached his hand from across her seat to the radio, increasing the volume of the music and drowning out any questions that remained floating in her mind.

The boy had texted her multiple times for the remainder of that week, at first with questions about the homework that slowly evolved into lengthy conversations about each other’s lives outside of the class. She had soon learned he was heavily involved in his fraternity, and had aspirations of eventually attending law school. But it proved difficult to avoid the fact that the conversations had grown increasingly flirtatious, and she could feel her best friend’s stare on her as he watched her jump to respond to a message whenever she was with him.

It didn’t take long for the two to meet up outside of class. With midterms quickly approaching, they intended to study with each other, and that had been the excuse she used when telling her best friend she couldn’t make it to their plans.

“So sorry, Nol. I’ve just got so much work to do. I’ll see you at the game?” 

Maybe meeting the boy from her class was a sign that she needed to stop pining after her best friend, someone she was definitely not meant to be with. And she could not shake the image of Nolan flirting with the girl at the party and responding the infinite DMs he receives on Instagram from her mind. Besides, it wasn’t every day a cute boy paid attention to her. 

But he wasn’t stupid. And she knew this. She’d always make time for him before, and as a perfectionist herself, she rarely struggled to keep up with her work anyways. She could tell he would quickly catch onto her hesitation in bringing him up in discussion, and especially when small things that reminded her of him made her smile and she couldn’t help but share.

He never said anything to her until one day, with his phone illuminated with her face, she once again began to come up with an excuse not to see him.

“You’re always blowing me off,” he said it lightheartedly, but she could tell it hurt him. “Got me watching shitty movies with TK now.”

She nearly winced, but forced a smile anyways.

“I bet he’s great at cuddling.”

She could hear Nolan snort and could see him sit up straighter in the frame. 

“He misses you. You’re still coming tomorrow, right?”

A few curses left her mouth, completely forgetting that a few of the guys were getting together for a small get together. She’d already made plans with the boy from class, and began telling this to Nolan.

“But you don’t have any exams left.” 

She sighed, not really knowing what to say. 

“Yeah, but I still have classes.”

His frustration didn’t go unseen, and she could tell he was growing more irritable by the second. If it wasn’t clear that she’d been the one pushing them away from each other, this was the proof. And it rang loud for the both of them.

“Bring him too.”

“I-What?”

Shocks could be felt coursing throughout her body, nearly causing her to drop her phone as she walked to her next class.

“Yeah, I wanna meet him.”

After struggling to find a reason why she couldn’t do just that, she finally agreed, texting him to notify him of his extended invitation, which she prayed he’d turn down.

What she didn’t know, however, was that the boy was a hockey fan. A huge hockey fan. And when she told him about her friends after he inquired, he hadn’t stopped talking about them since. This time he was talking about their game last week.

“Did you see Konecny’s assist in the last quarter? Man’s a beauty.”

Of course she’d seen it. She’d been at the stadium when it happened, and the one before that as well. It felt nearly impossible not to laugh at how excited and boyish he’d been acting since hearing the news, if it even counted as news. And she hoped her friends wouldn’t scare him away too much, or vice versa.

But thankfully, they all welcomed him with stretched arms. All except for one.

She hadn’t understood what caused Nolan to be in such a sour mood, or if she had any control over the situation to begin with. The moment she had arrived with the guest of honor to his apartment, he hadn’t uttered anything other than a “hey” and a nod in their general direction. 

From the outside, he came across as a lone wolf. Quiet and analytical, his deep eyes judged a scene in front of him with wisdom beyond his years. However, she knew well enough to know this wasn’t one of those cases. He could be seen scowling at anything the boy had said, even if it caused the rest of his friends to laugh. And he didn’t even try to hide it. 

The group had been engrossed in a lively conversation about who knows what, because the two best friends could be seen dazing off into their own worlds, with one sizing another up and the other watching him do so. 

“She never told me she knew you guys,” the boy mentioned, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she bit her tongue to keep her form rolling her eyes at his remark.

“I guess it didn’t came up,” she shrugged, leaning into his touch. 

“So are you guys fucking or what?”

The room came to a halt when a piercing, deep voice grumbled out something that no one expected to hear, all eyes setting in on the centerman with his arms crossed, eyes challenging his newest guest that had his mouth hung open.

“What the fuck, Nolan?”

Her voice sounded strangled and upset, and he brought his lethargic gaze to set in on her, and shrugged as if he hadn’t said anything out of line. 

“You’ve never brought guys around.”

This only made her skin boil more. He’d been the one who told her to invite him, and he’d been the one who insisted on meeting him. 

“You out of everyone would know that girls and boys can be just friends.”

Nolan scoffed, and the mood quickly changed. The rest who watched the little exchange moved to get ready to leave, claiming that it was getting late and promised their girlfriends they’d be back soon. She stood up as well, veins throbbing in anger and ready to slam the door behind her as she left. However, she felt her wrist get caught be a grip she’s grown fairly accustomed to over the years.

“Talk to him.”

She knew he was right, being best friends with the two of them, even if she so badly wanted to punch everyone’s teeth in at the moment. Travis then gave her a squeeze for encouragement and whispered good luck.

The boy already knew what was coming, but nonetheless nodded understandably as she came up with an excuse as to why she had to stay back a little longer.

“I’m gonna help clean up if that’s cool?”

He gave her a hug with a quick peck on the cheek, the biggest form of affection he’d shown to her since they’d met. But she didn’t have time to dwell on that right now.

She had found Nolan perched on balcony of his apartment, and he could hear her soft footsteps padding towards him. The only sound shared between them were the opening of another beer, and the noises the city’s nightlife left below. She moved to sit next to him, shivering in cool night. If the tension hadn’t been so thick, she would’ve lifted his arm and tucked herself underneath. But instead opted to pull her sweater’s sleeves over the knuckles, kneeing bouncing to put her mind at ease.

“If you wanted to feel loved, I was always here.”

Neither of them had expected that the man of few words to be the first to break the silence. It was so quiet, but she could hear him. She had been rehearsing a speech in her head, making a point to tell him off for ruining what could’ve been something good for her. That his remark was uncalled for and stupid, and insinuated everything that was false. And how he had no reason to be upset, because this was all his doing. But instead, his words left her speechless, and her mind was now drawing a blank.

“Y’know I love you,” he continued, and she in fact did know. The duo always made sure to express how much they cared for each other, but that only came about maybe around a birthday or a holiday of sorts. “And if you needed more love, I could’ve given that to you.”

Her heart swelled at his words, and she worried that it would pop in her chest. Her throat felt dry, but her eyes wet. And she struggled to choke out a response.

“It’s not that simple, Nolan.” She kept shaking her head, picking at her nails now that her nail polish washed away. “It’s a different kind of love, and we’re never going to be able to feel that with each other.”

“Why not?” His chair scraped against the concrete, and her turned his body to face her. “I know that’s it’s a different kind of love. I know what kind of love it is. I’m just saying that if you want it, I can give it to you.”

He brought his hand to cup her face, her pupils wide with fear and vulnerability and he turned her to look directly at him. 

“Why won’t you just let me love you?”

And she couldn’t tell her who went for it first, except all she knew was that they were left feverishly kissing under a blanket of stars that shone slightly brighter this time, basking in each other’s warmth and content with calling each other home.

[leonarddaly-blog]

Now that you know what Hygge is I am going to tell what we have done in the house to make it more “Hygge”. As you know we have the two dogs and first and foremost I do not want the house to smell like them, which can be a challenge during the colder months when the two of them just want to get all Hygge on the sofa!

I have always been a fan of scented candles and have been using them for many years but before Hygge I didn’t light them at any particular time, now I light them about 20 mins before we settle into the evenings TV shows or film. It really brings an atmosphere to the sitting room.

We NEVER use over head lighting, always lamps and never anything brighter than 30 watts, you wouldn’t be able to sew in the light but it is so much more comfortable and relaxing. On the sofa I have some throws that I bought in TK Maxx from the Cynthia Rowley home collection, they are soft and snugly and perfect if you want a cosy night on the sofa, I am generally too hot so it is rare that I use one but they are there for guests and Glenn, I try not to let Peggy and Desmond use them as they would be full of hair. But what I really want is an dark grey aran throw, I saw one on a job with Irelands Eye that has my name written all over it! Worn like Abby above, possibly without Dublin in the background. I also use reed diffuser’s, I have been using a Jo Malone one but to be honest  it is not filling the room with the scent, Lime Basil and Mandarin, and for the price of it I expected a lot more. Diptyque are bringing out a new one next month that promises to be amazing so I will be getting that. I also use a room spray in in the day time to freshen up the room, again I am using Jo Malone’s Lime, Basil and Mandarin which I adore but again the scent does not last for as long as I’d like I may have to investigate other brands but would they smell as nice……….

My sitting room is painted a really dark grey, with a dark grey sofa and grey carpet and most of the furniture is grey apart from a huge antique roll top desk and a white sideboard to hide the dvd player etc. Because it is so dark it is already Hygge but adding the throws and nice candle light glow it makes it so comfy. But I do love colour so I have a neon pink chair at my desk and the artwork that I have hanging is bright and crazy, I have two Helen Steele pieces in the sitting room. Helen is my favourite artist, I adore her and her work. She now creates wearable art, sounds dick-headed but when you see her clothes you will see what I mean, they are literally prints that Helen has painted and manipulated  them to be suitable as prints for dresses. They are really beautiful, the spring/summer collection is now available in Costume in Dublin city centre. I also love a bit of taxidermy but couldn’t have an actual real dead animal in the house, so I have some steel deer heads on the wall. I always thought I was into minimalism, writing this and looking around my sitting room I see that no, this is not minimalism this is far from it! But I love it!!

    Want to Hygge your sitting room?? Here's what I did. #Hygge Now that you know what Hygge is I am going to tell what we have done in the house to make it more "Hygge".